i don't usually make these posts but

youtube.com
Villanos | Cartoon Network
0:00 La percepción del Mal 00:59 Helado de Miedo 01:12 Más grande, más malo 02:11 Chirrido 02:26 Horriblemente pesado 03:24 Vistiendo la Maldad 03:37 Segurid...

HEY Y’ALL Cartoon Network put up all 10 episodes of Villainous (in Spanish) on their YouTube! Please go to the source and watch it on YouTube and not through Tumblr’s video player so that they can see people like it and that it has support!!! ;w;

There are versions up on YouTube with subtitles (I’ve watched them so I can know what they’re saying (because I do not speak Spanish aheh,,)), but please share the version from Cartoon Network!! Show your friends! Share it!! I’m really invested in this show right now and I want to see it do well!!

  • Tom: and this alleged affair with Belle has been going on for...?
  • Gaston: Two years.
  • Tom: and your first name is...?
  • Gaston: Gaston.
  • Tom: and your boyfriend's name is...?
  • Gaston: Lefou... I'm sorry, I misunderstand! You say 'boyfriend', I thought you say 'best friend'! Lefou is my <b> best friend</b>
  • Lefou: You bastard! You lying bastard!
so lemme get this straight

you’ve got grown-ass men drawing loli porn and hypersexualizing young female characters (maybe not in this particular fandom, but my point still stands), and yet the people you choose to shit on are the (mostly) younger girls who enjoy a cute shark guy?? bc its ‘cringey’ or whatever the fuck???

miss me w/ that garbage lmao

on that note, instead of complaining that there’s more pics of sidon than female characters (which is a little sad but a lot of people mostly like drawing characters they personally find attractive), why not:

1). draw it yourself or

2). commission one of your favorite artists to do it

because both of those options are much better and more productive than pretending you have some sort of superiority over other people just because you don’t like a character

Do I hate asking people to review at the end of my chapters? Yes. I despise it. It makes me feel needy, whiny, ungrateful for the readers I have. 

Do I hate asking people to reblog instead of just liking? Yeah. It makes me feel like I’m forcing them to do it through a guilt trip. 

But here’s the thing. 

I consider myself a fairly well known author in certain fandoms. This isn’t me bragging, this is me looking at the number of readers I have on Fanfiction and AO3, the fact that I get requests in my inbox, and the fact that I’ve been mentioned in a couple different fic rec posts, and deducing that I’m a somewhat popular author. 

My most popular fanfiction I have posted on Tumblr has just over 800 notes. Only 18 of which are reblogs. Only 6 of which have comments or tags on them. 

The most popular piece of fanart (in this case, meaning a single piece of artwork, not a comic or series of drawings) that I’ve ever seen had over 100,000 notes. At least a quarter of them were reblogs, and every single reblog that I saw of it had comments in the tags. 

So I’m not going to stop asking for people to reblog. For people to leave comments in the tags. For people to leave comments on AO3 and Fanfiction. 

Because fanfiction writers are treated like pack mules and, for the most part, artists are treated like gods. Artists can get PAID for their fanart, and we get yelled at for not posting the next chapter of a 10K story within two days of the latest update.

And I’m kind of sick of it. And I know for a fact that I’m not the only one. 

If you have the ability to like it, you have the ability to reblog it and leave a three word comment in the tags. It’s not difficult. 

Hey whatever you’re doing right now is important and all, but we need to talk about a Fake AH Crew AU where Ryan introduces Meg to the rest of the crew

At this point they are all still kinda scared of Ryan. He’s the freaking Vagabond, like shit my dudes. They’ve been working together for long enough though that Ryan has shown them his face a few times but they are still more than a bit scared of him.

They’re about to rob a place with a very specific and unique uniform and need to blend in. They’ve tried to get the uniforms through their usual connections but it just isn’t happening. They’re just about to ready to give up when Ryan quietly informs that he knows someone who could help them.

So, that evening they get into their car and Ryan drives them into the trendy side of the city and to an apartment building. The other guys are a bit “?????” because this definitely doesn’t look like a place they usually do business at. Also, anyone Ryan has connections to has to be a real bad guy so this seems…off.

They get to a door and before Ryan even knocks the door is opened by this petite girl with purple hair that goes “Rye-Rye!” and just hugs the dude. The others freeze because, like does this girl know that Ryan once broke someones wrist when they touched him without permission?

And then they pretty much piss themselves with fear because this girl just straight up reaches for Ryan’s mask and pulls it off. She’s like “You know I hate that you wear that thing all the time. You know it’s really shitty for your skin. You’ve been using that cream I gave you, right?” 

And they are even more shocked when the fucken Vagabond just looks nervous and goes “….I’ve used it a bit.” and seems to shrink when this tiny girl glares at him.

So they go inside and they all instantly like Meg, but are also a bit confused about how this friendship or whatever it is between these two unlikely companions started. They start discussing it, and by discussing it I mean wildly speculating in groupchat, about how these two could have met. Michael is sure they’ve pulled a heist together, Jeremy is suggesting that maybe Ryan saved Meg from bad people, Geoff is suggesting that Meg saved Ryan from bad people, Gavin thinks the girl is cute, and Jack is mostly just impressed with the room decor.

Ryan and Meg have a very casual banter going on as Ryan explains what the costumes they need are and even laughs a couple of times after which Michael fills the chat with about 243 question marks. The girl seems to think that making elaborate outfits is easy, but hey, Ryan has to know what he’s doing if he trusts this girl. Meg also assures them with a laugh that she had recreated harder to make outfits before.

So they eventually start to relax a bit, and can’t help but to notice that this Ryan is basically a different person than the one they know. The guy they know likes sharpening knives, this one is changing the lightbulbs in Meg’s kitchen because she can’t reach them.

Meg is taking their measures when Jack oh-so-casually asks how she and Ryan met. “At an anime convention.”, she answers like it’s the most normal thing in the world to make friends with someone on the FBI’s most wanted list at an anime convention. Geoff laughs so hard that he pees his pants.

And that is how Meg meets the Fake AH Crew. 

Someone probably beat me to the punch and made a post like this already, but honestly, I just had talk about this scene.

I’m sure all of you remember the infamous bathroom scene. This new flashback from episode 12 puts things into a different perspective. 

Here Yuri is, watching Yuuri’s past GPF performance. He’s trying his best to look disinterested yet you can tell he’s clearly interested. He even goes as far to admit that Yuuri’s step sequence grabbed his attention. And when he mentions the failed jumps he sounds almost…disappointed.

He isn’t making fun of him for messing up his jumps. He wants to see Yuuri be able to succeed and successfully complete a program.

Keep reading

a new-ish hockey fan: makes a funny post about hockey, exaggerating for comedic effect.

a Real™ Hockey Fan: Wow. Wow. This is the most offensive thing I’ve ever laid  eyes on in all my years. I don’t even have time to explain how wrong you are. Did you learn all that from Check, Please? Can you name any player other than Snidney Crosbey? I’ll have you know I have been following Hockey from the Womb and I will not stand for a blight upon the the sanctity of this sport… [10,000 word essay about why bandwagon fans are Ruining hockey].

2

You don’t need me.

Hiatus is upon us, which means for the first few weeks, I will be going on hiatus too. The tag is teeming with fics/gifsets right now so, you know,  you don’t need me.

Question

Why is the Newsies fandom fighting over who can and cannot be a fansie? You don’t have to BE a certain way to be a fansie, you just have to like Newsies, or so I thought. Like, why is everyone posting hate on that one post that says “everyone can be a Newsies fan”? Can’t everyone be a fansie?

IMPORTANT- PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST/SIGN THIS PETITION 

Mike Martin’s YouTube channel, DaddyOFive, has posted videos that would suggest possible emotional and physical abuse of his children. Mike Martin and his family should be placed under investigation by Child Protective Services to see whether these claims hold true. Although one of Martin’s videos claimed that they have already been placed under investigation and that there is no evidence of abuse, this petition simply asks to re-open the case.

Here is a video that displays some of the possible abuse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvoLmsXKkYM

Here is Martin’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8lV8KIVWvfsaqOi_d3Wu3w

Please help signal boost this as daddyofive’s content contains very disturbing stuff, and I haven’t seen any petition boosts on here, so PLEASE reblog and signal boost this! Thank you!

You can sign the petition here: https://www.change.org/p/get-child-protective-services-to-re-investigate-youtube-channel-daddyofive

3

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton’s children in their father’s films ‘Alice in Wonderland’ (2010), ‘Dark Shadows’ (2012) and ‘Big Eyes’ (2014)

history of the entire world, i guess; a transcript

hi. you’re on a rock, floating in space. pretty cool, huh? some of it’s water. fuck it, actually most of it’s water. i can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat. it’s sad. i’m sad. i miss you. how did this happen? a long time ago, actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. when? never. makes sense, right? like i said, it didn’t happen. nothing was never anywhere. that’s why its been everywhere. it’s been so everywhere, you don’t need a “where”. you don’t even need a “when”. that’s how “every” it gets. (pause). forget this. i wanna be something, go somewhere, do something. i want things to change. i want to invent time and space. and i know it’s possible because everything is here and it probably already happened. i just don’t know when to start. and that’s exactly where it started. (background noise) woah. i… paused it. i think there’s a universe now. what’s it made of? quarks and stuff. ah, that’s a thing, in a place. don’t like it? try a new place, at a different Time™. try to stick together because the world is gonna get bigger and emptier. but it’s not empty yet. it’s still very full, and about a kjghpillion degrees. (about no seconds later). great news! the quarks are now happily married in groups of three called a “proton” or a “neutron”. and there’s something else flying around too that wants to join in but can’t cause it’s still to (HOT). (about ten minutes later). great news! the protons and the neutrons are now happily married to each other (some of them even doubled up). (about 380,000 years later). great news, the electrons have now joined in. congratulations, the world is now a bunch of gas in space. but it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together and it’s getting closer together. it’s a staaaar. new shit just got made. some stars burn out and die. bigger stars burn out and die with passion! and make some brand new way crazier shit. space dust! which allows newer, more interesting stars to be made, and then die, and explode into even crazier space dust. so now stars have cool stuff around them, like rocks, ice, and funny clouds, which can make some very interesting things. like this ball of flaming rocks, for example. holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks, and it kinda made a mess. which is now the moon. weather update: it’s raining rocks from outer space. weather update: those rocks might’ve had water inside them and now there’s Hot Steam in the sky. weather update: cooler temperatures today, and the floor is no longer lava. weather update: its raining. severe flooding alert: the entire world is now an ocean. volcano alert: that’s land. there’slifeintheocean. what? something’s alive in the ocean. oh cool, like a plant or an animal? no. a microscopic speck! it lives at the bottom of the ocean and eats chemical soup which is being served hot and fresh made from gnarly space ingredients leftover from when it was raining rocks or whatever. oh yeah, and it can do that. it has secret instructions written inside itself telling it how to build another one of itself. so that’s pretty nifty, i would say. tired of living at the bottom of the ocean? now you can eat sunlight. using a revolutionary technique you can convert sunlight into food. taste the sun. side effect: now there’s oxygen everywhere and the sky’s blue. then the earth might’ve been a snowball for a while, maybe even a coupla times. it’s a sponge, it’s a plant, it’s a worm and some other types of weird strange water bugs and strange fish. it’s the Cambrian explosion. “wow, that’s animals and stuff.” but we’re still in the ocean. hey, can we go on land? NoO. why? the sun is a deadly lazer. oh okay. not anymore there’s a blanket. now the animals can go on land. come on, animals, let’s go on land! “nope, can’t walk yet. and there’s no food yet so i don’t care.” (100 million years later) ok, will you learn to walk if there’s plants up here? “maybe,” said some bugs, and fish. “uh. uh. uh.” (five million years later) “ok so i can go on land but i have to go back in the water to have babies.” (idea) learn to use an egg. “i was already doing that.” use a stronger egg, and put water in it, have a baby, on land, in an egg. water is in the egg, baby, in the water, in the egg. works for me. bye bye ocean. aaand now everything is huge. including bugs. wanna see a map of the land? sure. ah fuck, now everything’s dead. just kidding here are the survivors. keep your eye on this one because its about to become the dinosaurs. here’s another map of the land. yeah, it broke apart, don’t worry about it, it does that all the time. here comes a meteor. and the dinosaurs are gone. its mammal time! here come the mammals. look at those breasts. now they’re gonna dominate the world, and one of them just learned how to grab stuff. and walk. no, like, walk like ‘that’. and grab stuff at the same time. and bang rocks together to make… pointed rocks. “ouch.” and set things on fire. “yeouch.” and make crazy sounds with their voice (“gneurshk.”) which can mean different things. that’s a human person. and now they’re everywhere, almost. ice age. what? you can walk over here? cool. not anymore. i guess we’re stuck here now.

let’s review. there’s people on the planet. and they’re chasing their food. fuck it, time to plant some grass. look at this, i control the food now. now everyone will want to be my friend and live near me. let’s all build houses except mine is bigger because i own the food. this is great, i wonder if anyone else is doing this. tired of using rocks for everything? use metal. it’s underground. better farming was just invented in a sweet dank valley right in between these two rivers, and the animals are helping. guess what happens next. more food, and more people who came to buy the food. now you need people to help make the food and keep track of the sales. and now you need houses for people to live in, and people to make the houses. and now there’s more people and they invent things, which makes things better and more people come. and there’s more farming and more people to make more things for more people. and now there’s business, money, writing, laws, power. sociiiety. coming soon to a dank river valley near you. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, the horse is probably being tamed. why is all my metal so lame and lumpy? tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing bronze, made with special ingredient tin from the far lands of tin land. i don’t know, my dealer won’t tell me where he gets it. also, guess what - egypt. meanwhile, out in the middle of nowhere, they figured out how to put wheels on a horse. now we’re getting somewhere. also, china. and did i mention indusrivervalleycivilization. norte chico. the middle east is getting more complicated, maybe because it’s in the middle of the east. knock knock- er, clop clop, it’s the people with the horses? and they made an empire! and then everyone else copied their horses. greeks! ah look, it must be the greeks, or a beta version of the greeks. let’s check in with the indus river valley civilization. they’re gone. guess who’s not gone? china. new arrivals in india. maybe it’s thosehorsepeopleiwastalkingabout or theircousinsorsomething. and they wrote some hymns and mantras and stuff. you could make a religion out of this. there’s the bronze age collapse. now the phoenicians can get down to business. also, can we switch to a metal that’s a little easier to find? thanks. look who came back to israel, it’s the twelve tribes of israel. and they believe in god. just one though, he’s got like a ten step program. here’s some huge heads, must be the olmec. the phoenicians make some colonies. the greeks copy their idea and make some colonies. the phoenicians made a colony so big it makes colonies. here comes the assyrian empire. nevermind it’s the babylonian- median- it’s the persian empire. “wow, that’s big.” ah, the buddha was just enlightened! who’s the buddha? this guy, who sat under a tree for so long that he figured out how to ignore the fact that we’re all dying. you could make a religion out of this. oops, china just broke, but while it was breaking confucius was figuring out how to have good morals. ah, the greeks just had the idea of thinking about stuff. and right over here, alexander just had the idea of conquering the entire persian empire. it’s a great idea, he was…great. and now he’s dead. hopefully, the rest of the gang will be able to share the empire evenly between them. knock knock, it’s chandragupta, he says, “get the hell out of here, will you get the hell out of here if i give you 500 elephants? ok thanks bye; time to conquer all of india- or most of india”. but what about this part? that’s the tamil kings, no one conquers the tamil kings. who are the tamil kings? merchants, probably. and they’ve got spices. who would like to buy the spices? “me,” said the arabians, swiftly buying them and selling them to the rest of the world. hey, china put itself back together again with good morals as their main philosophy. actually they have three main philosophies. out here, the horse nomads run wild and free, and they would like to ransack your city. let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms: greekification overload! “bye,” said the parthians, “bye,” said the jews. “hi,” said the parthians, taking over the entire place. “heyyyyyyyy,” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast. “thanks for invading our homeland,” said the jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland. “hi, everything’s great,” said some guy who seems to be getting very popular, and then gets arrested and killed for being too popular, which only makes him more popular. you could make a religion out of this. want silk? now you can buy it from china! they just made a brand new road to the world…or you can get there on water. “sick, new trade routes,” said india, accidentally spreading their religion to the entire southeast. hmm, that’s a good place for an epic trading kingdom. there goes buddhism, travelling up the silk road. i wonder if it’ll reach china before it collapses again. “remember the persian empire? yup,” said the persians, making a new one. axum is getting so powerful they would like to build a long stick. has anyone populated madagascar yet? let’s do it together. china is whole again…then it broke again. still can’t cross the sahara desert? try camels. “hell yeah, now we’ve got business,” said the ghana empire, selling lots of gold, and slaves. “hi i live in the roman empire and i was wondering, is loving jesus legal yet?” “no” “actually ok sure,” said constantine, moving the capitol way over here to be closer to his main rival. don’t worry about rome, it won’t fall. it’s the golden age of india. there’s the gupta empire. not chandragupta, just gupta, first name chandra, the first. guess who’s in rome? barbarians. what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans. r.i.p. roman empire. or actually, just half is just fine. but it’s not in rome anymore so let’s give it a new name. the mayans have figured out the staaars. oh, and here’s a huge city, population everyone. the göktürks have taken over the entire eurasian steppe. great job, göktürks. how’s india? broken. how’s china? back together. how’s those trading kingdoms? bigger, and there’s more of them. korea has three kingdoms. japan has a kingdom, it’s the sunrise kingdom.

deep in the arabian desert, on the top of a mountain, the real god whispers in muhammad’s ear, so he goes down to the cube where everyone worships gods, and he tells them their gods are all fake. and everyone got so mad at him that he had to leave town and go to a different town. you could make a religion out of this. and maybe conquer the world as well. the roman empire is long gone, but somehow the pope is still the pope. plus there’s new kingdoms all over europe. i wonder if there’s room for moors. here’s all the wisdom, in a house. it’s the baghdad house of wisdom, just in time for the islamic golden age. “let’s bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the swahili on the swahili coast,” said the swahili on the swahili coast. remember this tiny space you have to go through to get from here to there? someone owns that now. wanna get enlightened in the middle of nowhere? the franks have the biggest kingdom in europe, and the pope is so proud that he invites the king over for christmas. “surprise, you’re the new roman emperor,” said the pope, pretending to still be part of the roman empire. then the franks broke their kingdom into what will later be called france and not france. the northerners, or just norse if you don’t have that much time, are exploring. they go north, from the north to the northern north, and they find some land. two types of land, and they name them accordingly. they also invade some other places and get called many names, such as vikings. there’s the rus, the kievan rus. are they vikings? “i don’t think so,” said the kievan rus. ok, fair enough. the pope is ready to make some more emperors of the roman empire, the holy roman empire. it’s actually germany but don’t worry about it. new kingdoms! christianizeallthekingdoms. which brand would you like? “mine’s better,” “mine’s better,” “mine’s better”. “time to conquer england,” said william. it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s the seljuk turks. “ahh!” said the byzantine empire, who’s getting so small it almost doesn’t exist anymore, “we need help!” they need help, so they call the pope. “hey pope, can you help us get rid of the seljuks? maybe take back the holy land on the way? come on, i know you wanna take back the holy land.” “yes, i do actually want to do that. let’s do a crusade.” crusade. they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail, but at least the italians got some sweet trade deals. goodbye mayans. hello toltecs, goodbye toltecs, hello mississippi. look at those mounds. there’s the pueblo. i always wondered how to build a town in a cliff. guess who’s here? khmer. where? here, and pagan is there, and vietnam unconquered itself, korea just became itself, and japan is so addicted to art that the military might have to take over the government. china just invented bombs, and typing. and the mongols just invaded most of the universe. nice going, genghis. i bet that will last a long time! some of the islamic turks were unaffected by the mongol invasions because they were busy invading india. is it tonga time? i think it’s tonga time. i just found out where the swahili gets all their gold. look at this chad (means lake), there’s an empire there, right in the middle of africa. the king of mali is so rich he’s going on tour to let everyone know. “wow, that guy’s rich,” everyone said. the christians are doing a great job of conquering iberia which will soon be called spain and not spain. please remain christian. we will check in later to see if you are still christian when you least expect. whoops, half of europe just died. ming. china’s back, yay. hey khmer, time to share, new kingdoms here and there. oh look who controls all the islands, its the mahajapit. majahapit, mapajahit, mahapajit, mapajahit, majapahit? oh, italy’s really rich, time for them to care a lot about art and the ancient classics. it’s kinda like a rebirth. here’s a printer, lets make books. so you think you can conquer the byzantine empire? “yep,” said the ottoman turks. nice job, ottoman turks. whoops, you missed a spot; don’t forget to ban europe from the indian spice trade. “what? that’s bullshit,” said portugal, spiceless. well i guess we’ll have to find another way to india. “wait,” said christopher colombus, probably smoking crack, “if the world is round, lets go this way to india!” “nah, don’t worry we already got this,” said portugal. so chris goes to spain. “hey spain, wanna hire me to go find india by going around back of the world?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.”  “please?”  “no.” “please?” “ok.” so he sails into the ocean, and discovers more ocean, and then discovers ‘the indies’ and ‘japan’. let’s draw a line to decide who gets which half of the world. the aztec and inca empires are off to a great start. i wonder if they know that europe just discovered their continent. the habsburgs are marrying into so many royal families they might have to start marrying each other. move over lithuania, here comes moscow. ivan wants to make russia great again. move over timurids, maybe go invade india or something. persia just made persia persian again. let’s make it the other kind of islam, the one where we thought the first guy should’ve been the other guy. hey christians, do you sin? now you can buy your way out of hell. “that’s bullshit, this whole thing is bullshit, that’s a scam, fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther, in his book which might have accidentally started the protestant reformation. “you know what would be magnificent?” said suleiman, wearing an onion hat, “what if the ottoman empire was really big, which it is now.”  “what if russia was big,” said ivan, trying not to be terrible. portugal had a dream that they controlled the entire indian ocean, including the spice trade, and then that dream was real. and spain realised that this is not india, but they pillaged it anyway. “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” then the dutch revolt and all the hipsters move to amsterdam. “damn,” said amsterdam, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff.” question one: can you get to india through north america? no, but at least there’s beaver. question two: steal the spice trade. that’s not a question but the dutch did it anyway. sugar. guess where all the sugar’s made? in brazil. stolen! in the carribean, and it’s so goddamn profitable you might forget to not do slavery. the next thing on russia’s to-do list is to get bigger. britain and france are having a friendly discussion about who should control the entire world, more specifically, ohio. then it escalates into a seven year discussion, giving prussia a chance to show austria who’s boss. but what about britain and france, did they figure out who’s boss? yes they did, it’s britain. guess who’s broke? also britain. so they start taxing the hell out of america.

“fuck you,” says america, declaring their independence, and fighting for it. france helps them win, now france is broke. and britain will have to send their prisoners to a different continent. wait if france is broke, why do the king and queen still wear such fancy dresses? “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off!” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off. you could make a reli- no don’t. haiti is starting to like the idea of a revolution, especially the slaves, who free themselves by killing their masters. “why didn’t we think of this before?” wait, who’s in charge of france now? “me,” said napoleon, trying to take over europe. luckily, they banished him to an island. but he came back. luckily, they banished him to another island. there goes latin america, becoming independent in the latin america wars of independence. britain just figured out how to turn steam into power, so now they can make many different types of machines and factories with machines in them so they can make a lot of products real fast. then they invent some trains, and conquer india and maybe put some trains there. “hey china,” said britain, “buy stuff from us.” “nah, dude we already got everything,” says china. so britain tried to get them addicted to opium, which worked actually, but then china made it illegal and dumped it all into the sea. so britain threw a hissy-fit and made them open up five cities and give them an island. britain and russia are playing a game where they try to stop each other from conquering afganistan. also the sultan of oman lives in zanzibar now, that’s just where he lives. india had a revolution, and they would like to govern themselves now. “nope,” said britain, governing them even harder than before. technology is about to go crazy. the united states finally figured out whether slavery is good or bad. “it’s bad,” they decided. and then they continued manifesting their destiny, which is to kill the rest of the natives and take their land, and maybe kick out the mexicans too. “i know, let’s rape africa,” said europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest. they never got ethiopia.  britain and france are still hungry. they never got thailand. the united states ran out of destiny to manifest, so they’re looking for more. hawaii. cuba. wait spain controls cuba. “well, blame something on them and go to war! what should we blame on them? let’s blame the maine on spain!” so they blame the maine on spain. now we’re in business. to celebrate, they kick panama out of panama and make a canal, connecting the two oceans. britain just found oil in the middle east. it makes cars go. china is so tired of being bossed around that they delete their old government and make a new stronger government, which is accidentally weaker and controlled by a guy from the previous government. europe hasn’t had a war since the last war, so they start world war one. look at those guns. it’s gonna be a great war, so great we won’t need a second one. after it’s over, they blame germany. russia went on strike and the workers overthrew the government. now everyone’s paycheck is the same. communism, in the soviet union. the arabs revolt, and britain helps. now the ottoman empire is gone, so we can give the jewish people a place to live. hopefully the arabs won’t mind. “let’s cut the cake,” said sykes and picot, carving up the remains of the not-so-ottoman-anymore empire. except turkey, turkey makes a brand new turkey. and then the saudis conquer arabia. it just seemed like the right thing to do. hello? yes, it’s the 1920s calling. let’s get in a car and drive to a party and listen to the jazz on the radio and go to the movies. the economy’s great and it’ll probably be great forever. just kidding. germany’s back, featuring hitler, the angry mustache model. he’s mad at the jews for existing. japan is finally conquering the east, and they’re so excited they rape nanking way too hard. they should probably just deny it. hitler’s out of control, so the international community tackles him and tries to explain to him why killing all the jews is a bad idea, but he kills himself before they could explain it to him. that’s world war two. bonus round: pacific showdown, united states versus japan. fight! finish him. let’s unite all the nations and have some world peace. seems legit. “hi i’m gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india i’m going to starve myself in public. wow, that worked?” bonus: now there’s pakistan. actually two pakistans. one of them can be bangladesh later. the jews and the arabs finally figured out which one of them should live in the holy land. “me”, they both said at the same time. “let’s divide up the land so everyone’s happy.” sike! they both get angrier. look out china, there’s a new china in china. what’s on the menu? communism! “no thanks,” said the other china, escaping to an island. i wonder which one is the real china. there’s the korean war, korea versus korea, nobody wins, then it’s on pause forever. let’s meet the sponsors. oh, it’s the two global superpowers. they’re having a friendly debate over which economic system is good and which is an evil virus of satan. and they both have atom bombs. fight! wait no that would be the end of the world. let’s just keep it cool and spy on each other instead. and make sure we have enough atom bombs. “i’ll race you to space. now let’s make some more countries fight themselves.” europe is tired of pillaging other continents, so the continents they were pillaging are tired of being pillaged. so here’s a new map, with new countries. now you can’t tell who they’re being pillaged by. the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad, and the world agrees. south africa might need another minute to think about it. let’s check the world population. woah. okay. technology’s better too, that might keep happening. the soviet union decides to relax a little and accidentally falls apart. europe makes a union, so now they can all use the same money; except britain because they don’t feel like it. let’s check the mail. surprise! it’s on the computer! whoops, someone just attacked america, i bet they’ll remember that. phone call, surprise, it’s in your pocket! wanna learn everything? surprise, it’s on the computer! now your phone’s a computer, which is in your pocket. whoops, the economy just crashed. don’t worry, the big banks won’t fail, because they’re not supposed to. surprise, flying robots! with bombs. wanna print a brain? some people have no friends. some people have no food. the globe is warming, and the ocean is full of plastic. “let’s save the planet,” said everybody, not knowing how. “let’s invent a thing inventor,” said the thing inventor inventor, after being invented by a thing inventor. that’s pretty cool. by the way, where the hell are we?

anonymous asked:

You ever think that maybe beating the shit out of people you disagree with and destroying public property is doing more harm than good? Like, here's a crazy thought, maybe not everyone who goes to Trump rallies and wears a make america great again hat are "Fascist Nazis" and you're actually in the wrong? I don't know if you've ever watched a movie before, but the bad guys are usually the ones who wear black and red.

“You ever think that maybe beating the shit out of people you disagree with and destroying public property is doing more harm than good?“

Yeah, Anon, that is 100% a totally accurate depiction of anti-fascism.  The 4000+ posts on this blog have been about nothing but property destruction and beating people up.  You should write a book & go on the lecture circuit with your astute observations.  Along with your suggestions about what people should do about the fascist shits trying to publicly organize pogroms - OH WAIT YOU HAVE NO CREDIBLE IDEAS!!!  Oh well.  

“Like, here’s a crazy thought, maybe not everyone who goes to Trump rallies and wears a make america great again hat are “Fascist Nazis” and you’re actually in the wrong?“

Hmm.  Let’s see.

So here’s white supremacist leader and convicted felon Nathan Damigo punching a woman in at a Trump rally.  Nathan did five years for a hate crime against a cab driver that he targeted because the cabbie “looked Iraqi” and spent much of his prison time in white supremacist prison gangs.   Once released, he became the literal poster boy for the neo-nazi National Youth Front and the white supremacist but spelling-challenged Identity Evropa. How could we possibly mistake him for a nazi, right?  

Oh look!  Isn’t that Kyle “Based Stickman” Chapman getting arrested at a Trump rally for assault?  Not his first run-in with the law, given that he’s also a convicted felon with a rap sheet that includes robbery, theft, and unlawful possession of a shotgun.  Certainly anyone with that kind of criminal history who’s now facing five new felony charges wouldn’t then decide to wander through town picking fights with black skateboarders, right?  Maybe he should’ve stayed home and checked out the neo-nazi Facebook pages he devotedly follows instead.  Totally not a nazi himself, though, obvs!

Maybe you’re referring to ordinarily, totally-not-a-nazi common folk like MAGA hat-wearing, Trump rally-attending Matthew Heimbach, pictured here assaulting a black woman at a Trump rally (but of course that doesn’t count as beating people you disagree with or violating someone’s free speech rights with violence, right Anon?).  Hemibach’s on-record as being an anti-Semitic, anti-immigrant homophobe who believes that race-mixing should be a crime; that Mexicans living in California are a “problem,”  and that “white” people should live in their own ethnically-segregated state.  When he’s not at Trump rallies he likes to go to things like Aryan Terror Brigade shows, KKK rallies, and National Socialist Movement gatherings.  

Seems like if it walks like a nazi and makes noises like a nazi, it’s probably a nazi, Anon.  

“I don’t know if you’ve ever watched a movie before, but the bad guys are usually the ones who wear black and red.“

We don’t know if you’ve ever realized that movies aren’t reality, Anon, but we’re shocked that this is something you’d point out like it was a valid and reasonable point to make.

Shocked, we are!

  • Rin: *can't find Haruka in the crowd* Where is he? Well, time for drastic measures...
  • Rin: *cupping hands around mouth* RIN MATSUOKA IS SUCH A JACKASS, NO ONE NEEDS HIM!
  • Haruka: *from across the street* WHO SAID THAT?!
  • Rin: There he-
  • Makoto: Why would you say something like that?!
  • Nagisa: Say that to my face, you jerk!
  • Rei: I've never heard something so rude!
  • Sousuke: WHOSE ASS DO I HAVE TO KICK?!
  • Nitori: Senpai is a good person, how could you?!
  • Momo: Shut up, YOU'RE the jackass!
  • Seijuurou: Who's the asshole saying stupid things?!
  • Gou: WHO'S TALKING SHIT ABOUT MY BROTHER?!
  • Rin: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GUYS EVEN COME FROM?!