i don't think you understand how much i love this scene

on the new Iron Fist series

So after binge watching a ton of Marvel’s new Iron Fist series, I went onto tumblr, wondering what the fandom was up to now, what with all these new gifs and stuff to make. ‘Maybe I would find some fan art or something’ I thought innocently to myself,

BUT BOY WAS I WRONG

instead, I was greeted with SO MUCH DISCOURSE on how Iron Fist ‘needs a chinese-american actor’ or ‘has terrible dialogue and is slow’.

the best part is when I found out that some of y’all are trying to get this show boycotted like ‘????’

Now as a Chinese-speaking Asian female, living in Asia, with an Asian background and a good know-how of Chinese history, as well as a decent knowledge of comic books, (although I confess I got into the animated series first) I’m here to end the discussion before y’all get your full rage on and start fighting fans of the show like it’s Lord of the Flies up in here

So keep reading if you want to be educated or if you just want to fight me before you know what you’re even talking about

“THE SHOW INSULTS CHINESE CULTURE”

Uhhhh…no? I’ve seen a few episodes and I mean so far there isn’t really anything that screams ‘insult’ or even offensive in the slightest. Besides maybe the fact that they take the beliefs and twist them a little bit but honestly even that ain’t that bad as to what I’ve seen elsewhere.

I’ve read the boycott post and let me say that yea, they dressed him with an eye for Asian elements, but maybe that’s because it’s supposed to be resembling Asian clothing? I mean how is that offensive? Is it the part that it looks Asian? Or that you simply feel that white people that direct these shows should not be using Asian stuff for entertainment? Because I hate to break it to you but it’s still not offensive. Even the dragon tattoo is totally fine because it’s supposed to resemble Asian elements yea but also have y’all read the comics? Because he punched through a dragon and basically took it’s heart. So I mean a dragon tattoo kinda matches the theme.

I mean in the first episode they speak almost flawless Chinese for Pete’s sake! Hell, I was surprised that they even had it in them to have a non-Google translated line. Sure the accent was a little overdoing it cuz not even I have that thick a Chinese accent but I’ll excuse it since he was apparently learning and speaking 15 years. (I speak it maybe a few times a day for like the last 14 years or so only)

So no, the show doesn’t really insult Chinese culture, sure they might be ignorant, but you must understand that after generations of stereotypes and misconceptions that that can’t just go away with one show

“Danny Rand should be played by an Asian guy/be a Chinese-American”

I can’t even begin to tell you my frustration about this.

Y’all do know this show is based on the comics right?

You know, the one with the white guy.

I know Marvel is infamous for not including enough representation in their shows but seriously? This is like the Harry Potter thing all over again with Hermione being black, it’s not that we don’t want representation or anything, but it’s the fact that this hero that us comic fans have come to already love has been replaced. Or at least it feels like it. Like when a movie is made from a book and people go crazy because character XYZ suddenly has different traits or isn’t quite what was described as compared to the book.

Frankly, it sucks.

So even though yes, Marvel should have more Asians in their shows, don’t expect them to completely give the main character a makeover, even if the makeover was supposed to provide representation. And honestly? I don’t want them to change him because I really freaking love Iron Fist, just as he is.

“This show just villainizes Asians”

So you tell me that my race is being made villains because Marvel decided that most of their Asians on their shows are evil ninjas (aka the Hand) and at most there are like 3 sorta good Asians. Oh and I’m sorry, you want more Asian men that are good guys? You want a balance of Asian heroes?

Well I guess that would be kind of hard to fit into the story since, oh, I don’t know, everything happens in the USA?

If you want more Asian characters well then look no further because you do have them. Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield? What about her extremely brave mom? Or maybe Colleen in Iron Fist? Everyone seems to be blatantly ignoring her badassery and only seeing the part where she’s a sorta love interest.

Facts are, there are Asian characters, you’re really just looking hard enough. I agree wholeheartedly when you say that more Asian men need to be in the Marvel universe that aren’t part of the bad guy team but you gotta say that they are still awesome.

Does anyone even remember the Japanese ninja yakuza guy from Daredevil? Dude got set on fire and STILL came back to kick ass. That’s a plus in my book because even though he’s considered bad, he’s been proven to be cunning, smart, and overall awesome.

“The show has terrible stunts/acting/dialogue/fight scenes”

From here on out it’s mostly just me trying to explain why the directors and writers of the show made decisions in the show to make it what it is, so let’s dive right into it.

  • STUNTS

Actually the stunts weren’t half-bad. If you’ve seen other shows or movies that are heavily reliant on stunts and action, and compare it to this show, they really aren’t that much different. Sure it might seem a little unbelievable sometimes like they’re breaking physics or something, but he already has a glowing fist. I think we’ve crossed the line of believable long ago.

  • ACTING

I have nothing to say about this except that go and take some acting or drama classes before coming and criticizing these awesome men and women who did indeed try their best

  • DIALOGUE

Now I get the dialogue might be a little weird at times and what not, but you must understand that this show was partially written with the Defenders series in mind. So almost everything that was said in the show is meant to lead to something more. Thus, you must take it as a bigger picture. Sorta like how everyone said that Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them wasn’t as good as they thought it would be, that movie was also meant to lead on to a bigger story so you might want to excuse the weird speech and cryptic lines at times.

  • FIGHT SCENES & ACTION

Okay seriously people, please read the comics. Danny Rand is supposed to be an accidental hero, one that doesn’t want to fight unless he really has zero choice in the matter. So yea, the fight scenes won’t be that interesting, but only because the character in question is more interested in ending the fight than anything.

~

So there you have it, my whole slightly angry info-dump on Iron Fist and Marvel’s representation problem in general. If you want to correct me or scold me even then by all means message me or shoot me an ask. But just keep in mind that Marvel can’t make all your problems go away in one show, and please for the love of all that is good read the comics before coming to rant okay?

How the Winter Soldier shot Nick Fury

I’ve been wanting to make a post about this for a while, even though I might be the only person invested in this, but anyway, here we go.

I’ve seen mentioned several times, in posts about the movie and in fics that the Winter Soldier shot Nick Fury through the window of Steve’s apartment, and every time it makes me groan in frustration because no.

The Winter Soldier didn’t shoot Fury through a window, he shot him through a wall, and I don’t know about you, but it seems like a pretty big difference to me.

(bullet hole in the wall!!)

When I saw the scene the first time, I remember thinking holy shit??? that’s crazy, and for me that’s when the Winter Soldier really became a real, terrifyingly good assassin, that’s when his image as a serious threat solidified.

Read about the blogger getting carried away under the read more.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i don't remember if this has been discussed before but do you know why lexa was so smiley and almost playful in that scene in 304 when she was telling clarke about aden?

Alright, my brain is currently melting away because of the unbearable heat, so I hope this will make sense even though I’m not really sure about it. BUT. I wanted to answer this question because we kinda see the scene in a very different way. Maybe it’s my angsty soul, but I actually don’t think Lexa is being that playful in that scene. Actually… there are certain elements about it that I actually find sad, mostly because they speak of how Lexa is, of the way she thinks and sees things. In this particular case, the way she sees Clarke. Or even better, the way she reads Clarke’s reaction to the situation. But let me try to make myself more clear. (x)

The scene begins with Lexa asking Aden to stay so she can introduce him to Clarke. She proceeds to praise him, making sure Clarke knows his value, and to explain what is going to happen in case she should die during the duel with Roan.

I love how much you can read on Clarke’s face here. The initial confusion. Then, most important, the slight panic and worry at the mention of Lexa’s possible death. Her eyes actually go wide at that. Then, the moment when she connects the dots, when she realizes why Lexa is introducing her to this child, because he’ll likely be the next Commander. They’re mostly talking politics, but basically, everything about this scene revolves around one thing: Lexa’s death. And here we get to the part I actually find pretty sad.

Lexa sees the confusion and fear on Clarke’s face and, in a rare occasion when it comes to Lexa understanding and knowing Clarke, she misreads what she sees. 

What does she tell Aden? “Clarke worries about her people.” Clarke worries about her people. This tiny smile, almost resigned in a way, appears on her face, and she explains to Aden the apparent reason for Clarke’s worried expression. And this is what pains me: the thought that Clarke might be worried about her doesn’t cross Lexa’s mind. Her death is a reason for concern in the sense that it could lead to potential danger for Clarke’s people, not a concern because it would mean that, you know, she would be gone. Lexa talks about her death constantly and nonchalantly because she has been taught not to value her life outside of the confinements of her position as Commander. At worst, she sees it as an inconvenience, definitely not as a tragedy. Add the delicate condition of Clarke and Lexa’s relationship to this, the baby steps towards rebuilding trust and growing close again, and it’s pretty easy to understand why Lexa doesn’t think Clarke’s worry might have anything to do with her as Lexa the girl, not the Commander.

This is why she has Aden explain what he would do if she were to die, how he would still protect Skaikru and accept them into the Coalition. This is why I think she smirks. In her head, she has it all covered: Clarke has no reason to worry because she took care of every small detail to ensure Skaikru’s safety in case of her death.

Except that Clarke has every reason to worry, because she doesn’t care just about her people. She cares about Lexa.

beatrice-babe  asked:

I'm working on an assignment about how we could modify the way we teach Shakespeare so students understand it. In combing through JSTOR (our lord and savior) I found two articles both discussing how damned difficult it is to teach Shakespeare. Each is titled 'Teaching Shakespeare'. One is from 1942. The other is from 1893. It is 2017, and we still don't know how the fuck to teach this shit so people get it. Academic struggles all day every day and literally nothing has changed

University was a dream come true for me. I had amazing lecturers and the class had a three-pronged approach:

1. Explain the historical context of the play, how it was originally performed and how it was received

2. View different modern adaptations (at least 2-3, sometimes more, and ideally look at some from other cultures and in other languages) and compare and contrast how they interpret the same text

3. Encourage students to interpret the text in their own way. Wanna make A Midsummer Night’s Dream about two lesbians, Lysander and Hermia, running away from a homophobic society? Go for it. Now explain why you chose to do that and how you would stage it.

We would have lectures that were theory-based, interrupted by the professor playing some clips from different adaptations. Later in the week we would meet in a theatre space and work with the text physically, vocally, and have an open and honest discussion about what we were studying. We got through one play every two weeks over a 12 week period and came out with a solid understanding of each one. Extraordinary stuff.

Now, compare this approach, which is interesting, engaging and relevant to the modern era and our own experiences, to how it’s traditionally taught in high school.

You sit.

In a room.

You read the play.

You’re stuck with it for weeks and weeks.

You have no fucking clue what’s being said or why you should care. 

Your teacher then asks you to write an essay on a topic that will have some ludicrously long title that you barely understand.

You go away hating Shakespeare and viewing it as horrible and boring. 

And you completely miss what the text is about and what it can be about.

The thing that was really powerful at uni, and what we should endeavour to bring to teenage students, was looking at other people’s adaptations. Reading Shakespeare as a 15 year old, or indeed at any age, can be a struggle. It feels like you’re reading gobbledegook. How the hell are you supposed to understand Elizabethan slang? How are you supposed to engage with the story if you keep reaching for a dictionary every 2 seconds? But that’s where skilled actors and directors come into it, because these guys do the work for you. For example, The Globe theatre is a massive draw for tourists around the world. They perform plays in the original language in a way that is hugely accessible and entertaining for all people, no matter their background. They use voice, action and gesture to make sure you understand. It’s an old maxim that Shakespeare is meant to be seen and not heard, and it’s true, so let your students watch the professionals act it out. Let them watch two or three! Maybe more! And once they start to grasp the text, aided by historical context, get them up and get them speaking and performing. And if someone’s shy and doesn’t want to perform? That’s totally fine! They’re now the director, and they can come up with ideas that others will put into practice. 

Get people talking. Start arguments. Shakespeare’s plays will say something different to each different person. What is it about this text that you latch onto? Which adaptation did you like best? How do you think it should come to life? And when you assigns essays and assessments, let them write and argue about what they are passionate about. I fucking hate those essay prompts that box you in and allow no room to put forward your own feelings, which make you talk about the theme of forgiveness or whatever when you think fuck you, this play wasn’t about forgiveness at all, it was about (x).

Even with the little stuff, there’s no point just saying “so the definition of iambic pentameter is…” and moving on, you should be up there with your hand on your heart, making them tap along to their own heartbeats, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, Two HOUSE-holds BOTH a-LIKE in DIG-ni-TY - great! You feel it, don’t you? You feel those 10 beats in your heart, and now what happens when you recite a line that’s slightly irregular? Sometimes you’ll get a weird line that’s 9, 11 or 12 syllables where everything else is 10, sometimes you’ll get the stressed syllable in a different place than it should be, and you can feel that as you’re reciting - it’s as if your heart suddenly started beating faster or skipped a beat, and you have to listen to it and ask - why did Shakespeare want me to stress that? Why did this character suddenly falter and slip out of rhythm? Same with things like assonance, alliteration, repetition, juxtaposition and all those others words that make students’ eyeballs melt out of their heads. Don’t just make them memorise an arbitrary list of definitions, show them what they can do.

For example: repetition in Much Ado About Nothing. Beatrice and Benedick will often choose a word or an idea and then hit it back and forth like a shuttlecock until one of them drops it. But it’s the repetition of the word heart that is most striking, and the image of Beatrice’s heart in particular. Beatrice has a “merry heart,” she has a “wild heart,” Margaret jokes she should lay Carduus Benedictus to “your heart,” Benedick declares he wants to “live in thy heart.” The word crops up close to forty times throughout the play, associated with love, happiness, sexual ardour - nice things, in other words. In the confession scene we see:

BEATRICE: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it, with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart none is left to protest. 

And then, all of a sudden, just a few lines later, Shakespeare pulls the fucking rug out from under us. Remember all that nice heart imagery? Throw it out the window, and listen to what Beatrice has to say about Claudio, the scumbag who disgraced and almost killed her innocent cousin: I would eat his heart in the marketplace.

HOOOLY SHIT DUDE

Do you see that? One word, one image, one idea and suddenly it’s like the the roof has caved in. Claudio said he loved her cousin, and then he nearly killed her. And Beatrice, with her loving, merry heart, the heart that Benedick wishes to live in, says I would eat his heart. If hurting women is what Claudio intends to do with his love and his heart, then by God she will fucking pull it out of his chest and eat it where everyone can see so they know what should happen to men like him. 

Feel it, listen to it, live it. Those definitions will seem abstract and alien when you read them on the page - who cares if a few words start with the same letter? What does it matter if he repeats a couple of words? But you have to get into the text and really hear and see, viscerally, what these techniques are capable of. They should make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. 

Historical context is another issue I won’t go too far into, but suffice to say that it’s something that deserves far more attention than it gets. Apart from anything else, it’s interesting! People got up to crazy stuff in Shakespeare’s time, we should know about the world the Bard lived in.

I apologise for ranting, but yes. Shakespeare is often taught in an inadequate or inappropriate way, and for the sanity of high school students everywhere we should endeavour to teach teachers how Shakespeare should be taught.

Matchmaker - Cody Christian AU Imagine

Warnings:SMUT,swearing,daddy kink,jealous Cody,ass slapping,hand tying,m+f oral,fake tweet,fluff.

A/N: Enjoy xx and Happy Valentines Day or as I like to call it “Another thing to remind me i’m Single AF” 

y/n; your name

y/u/n; your username

MASTERLIST


Lisa: Hi guys were back on Clevver Tv’s Valentines day special with the cast of Teen Wolf * Lisa smiled*

Lisa: So Cody our sources yell us you’re off the market and have been for some time now, is that true?

Keep reading

The relationship between misogyny and romance: a SJM study

Why female desire* isn’t problematic, but A Court of Thorns and Roses is.

In which I wade into an issue in depth, praying that the flame war gods do not strike me down.

**Please note that this essay discusses only the misogynist elements of SJM’s writing in the ACOTAR series. There are obviously other problematic elements that require acknowledgement, but this is the one I feel confident in addressing. I haven’t read any of ACOWAR yet.** 

*also, female desire in this instance refers to the desire of the presumed female reader of romance. The reading of romance and YA is obviously not exclusive to women, although a lot of the assumptions of SJM’s work ascribe to the concept of a binary gender.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i am new to ifnt and rly dont wanna make anyone mad but i don't see the big deal abt woohyun. yes he is hot and can sing but why does every1 love him so much? i dont mean it in a bad way jst that i dont see how he is more popular than others. also i dont see how his voice is so different to other kpop singers? but then again i am new so maybe i dont kno wht i am talking about. pls help me to understand more?

You caught me at the absolute pinnacle of my Woohyun feels, which happens every year around his birthday. And therefore (with a little help from my friends) I have constructed this little list of reasons why Woohyun is absolutely deserving of the amount of love he receives from Inspirits and why it’s kinda hard not to love him, even if he isn’t your favourite member…

1. WOOHYUN’S LIVE VOCALS

Woohyun is known for having what many call a ‘power-house’ vocal. You can always rely on him to hit those incredible high notes in INFINITE songs. He’s known for being able to bellow out his lines; his voice is strong, loud and instantly recognisable. But he also pours a lot of emotion into his vocals, every note dripping with it. His solo album Write.. and his subsequent appearances on Immortal Songs 2 showcased another side to his vocals too; a softer side, gentle, quieter but without lacking that trademark emotion in his voice. It really proved he’s a versatile vocalist, and not just there to yell at the top of his lungs (but it’s still incredible when he does). Here is Woohyun performing on Immortal Songs 2. This appearance earned him the highest score for an idol on the show at that point. 

He is (in my opinion) one of the best live singers in kpop at the moment. I can’t think of many people who could hold a candle to him, really. Yet he is still improving and working on his voice; he still admits he has far to go. 

2. WOOHYUN’S FAN SERVICE / HIS LOVE FOR FANS

Woohyun is known for being the ‘fan idiot’ in INFINITE. He’s got a different heart for every occasion and is usually credited with popularising the ‘finger heart’ that everyone uses nowadays. In 2012 he came 3rd in Weekly Idol’s Fan Service poll (as voted by idols), and the video shows some good examples of him showering Inspirits with love. He consistently refers to fans as his ‘girlfriends’, to the point his twitter bio even says it (팬=여친 fan=girlfriend). But his love for Inspirits runs deeper than superficial hearts and displays of cuteness. INFINITE and Inspirits have had a close relationship since debut, and it has continued on to this day. During One Great Step, INFINITE’s first world tour in 2013/14, Woohyun personally went out to buy roses and small rings to present to fans at their shows, spending his own money. He wrote and composed the song ‘함께 (Together)’ during OGS, and dedicated it to Inspirits, saying it was about fans (see the lyrics here). 

At Dream Concert in 2016, Woohyun performed as a solo artist for the first time, and even other fandoms began to feel jealous at the amount of attention he gave to Inspirits. [Even more reactions here] He sang just for them, never taking his eyes off their section of the crowd and taking out his earpiece to listen to them singing along. Okay, so later all of INFINITE roasted Inspirits for not being able to sing well, but at least Woohyun then tried to explain how to sing properly.

It should be noted too, that after this performance, Woohyun and INFINITE gained a lot of new fans who were impressed by him. 

3. WOOHYUN’S PASSION FOR SINGING / MAKING MUSIC

As I mentioned above, Woohyun wrote and composed ‘함께 (Together)’ for INFINITE while they were taking part in their first world tour. During their movie, Grow, which showed the behind the scenes of OGS, you see Woohyun jumping up in the middle of eating to go and compose. 

He was excited about this song and wanted to share it with the rest of INFINITE once he was finished, asking them to contribute to the lyric writing too. Then his solo album Write.. was released in 2016 with 3/6 tracks having Woohyun’s direct involvement: ‘향기 (Scent/Nostalgia)’ which was entirely written and composed by Woohyun, and ‘Gravity’ and ‘Everyday’ which Woohyun co-wrote and composed [source]. You could tell he had worked extremely hard on these songs, and could tell how proud he was of them when he spoke about them in interviews. Whenever Woohyun takes the stage, you know that the energy and enthusiasm he exudes isn’t just an act… He truly loves singing, is passionate about performing and wants to share his talent with the world. For example, look how stupidly in his element he is performing Everyday in Singapore during INFINITE’s second world tour ( © Honey Tree ) :

4. AND EVERYTHING ELSE:

Those were just three main points focused on Woohyun as a singer, performer and idol. There are so many other sides to Woohyun too, and so many reasons to love him. 

  • He loves cooking, and his instagram is full of videos of him making food
  • His relationships with the other INFINITE members are really sweet. Just one recent example would be: even when everyone was teasing Sungjong and being kinda mean (including Woohyun), he did then reassure him that there would be plenty of INFINITE schedules soon and that he needn’t worry. He’s also super affectionate with the others, and you’ll often find him touching them or correcting their hair/touching their face/leaning on them.
  • Actor Woohyun!!! He’s been in multiple dramas, but my personal favourite is Hi School Love On, where he played Shin Woohyun… Please watch it if you haven’t already, it’s so good (and it’s all available on KBSWorld’s youtube channel with subs, here)!
  • His friendships with other 91 line celebrities, especially SHINee’s Key with whom he debuted as the special sub-unit ToHeart in 2014
  • Like you mentioned, he is ridiculously good-looking and is known for not having had any surgery - that nose and that jawline are aaaaallll natural, ladies ~~ 
  • He loves football and plays for FC Men (FC 멘), an all-star team affiliated with the Suwon Bluewings alongside other celebrities. 

My closing statement is this: usually when you stan a group you’ll have a favourite member, one you look at more than the others, one you might pay a little more attention to during MVs or performances or shows. But then often (and in most cases when it comes to my Inspirit friends), you end up loving them all. Your bias might even change (maybe even many times). You’ll find it hard to stick solely to one member, especially when the rest of the group are so damn lovable. Soon enough, you realise you’re OT7 biased and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Do yourself a solid and give Woohyun a chance. I’m sure you’ll see why everyone likes him so much in no time. 

anonymous asked:

I like your case for non-closeted John and I tend to agree. I'm wondering, what do you take from the scenes in ASiB where John is reading from a leatherbound gilted book that most fans have assumed to be the Bible. I don't mean to imply that Bible-reading=homophobic (I'm a gay divinity school student!) but this show is not extremely nuanced re: religion (though better than many) so I've always read that scene as a shorthand for John's repressed reaction to Irene's revelations. What do you think?

Yeah, I know that the idea that it’s the bible has often lead people to think it’s about, you know, keeping the gay feelings in.

I do imagine that it’s the bible but that he’s reading something about love and patience because being Sherlock’s not-boyfriend is so trying at times.  You know something like 1 Corinthians 13:4-13.  But, I’m a romantic.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think that this is all so much in the realm of headcanon that there’s no way to meta it, really.  I mean we can meta the idea that it’s the bible I think a bit since he’s reading in front of a church at one point but to imagine what it’s about is, well, pretty subjective.

I mean, it’s understandable to think that christianity = homophobia because hey, all the good advice in the world (from the bible) can’t undo the shitty things that leviticus says but yeah, I feel like John’s trying to keep things together on a personal level.

I think it’s because I see him reading that book at times when he seems to be trying to gather all his strength to be patient with Sherlock, to be a good friend, to do his role.

This could be a danger night.  He’s lost his girlfriend to stay home and Sherlock’s probably going to come home and be difficult, 

This is after a tense incident between them to say the least.  Again, John doesn’t know how Sherlock is going to act or how difficult it’s going to be,

Anyway, that’s my personal take on this.  I can definitely see why people headcanon that as a bible and the gesture as him trying to be less queer.  But to me I see him gathering inner strength here, and I see this as a bible but one where he’s seeking some solace and trying to persevere in his role as not-boyfriend to Sherlock.  

Realistically, do we even know it’s a bible?  Could be Alice in Wonderland or something, right?  There’s someone who keeps her head in the face of adversity.  And absurdity.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Some thoughts on the Watson marriage

First of all, upfront: I believe Mary and John sincerely loved each other and were genuinely trying to make their relationship work. But clearly, at least on some levels, it was not working, and I want to play armchair marriage counsellor for a bit and look at why.

So, obviously, the first major misstep in their marriage is Mary lying about her history and identity, and then shooting John’s best friend to protect her secret.  Why didn’t she just tell him who she was from the beginning? 

MARY: John can’t ever know that I lied to him. It would break him and I would lose him forever.

She was terrified that he wouldn’t love her if he found out about her past.  What might have given her that idea?  What messages was John sending her that his love was conditional on her being ordinary, sweet, and safe?

In some ways, John’s behavior after he finds out the truth proves her fears unjustified.  Though he struggles for a while, he doesn’t leave her, and he makes a renewed commitment to their relationship.  So far so good.  But look at what he says to her:

JOHN: The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future … are my privilege. It’s all I have to say. It’s all I need to know.

It’s a very romantic moment, and clearly well-intentioned. And Mary is grateful for his forgiveness, and agrees to move forward with him.  But there’s a mixed message hidden in John’s statement.  In throwing away the thumb drive unread, he’s confirming her suspicion that he can’t love the person she was in the past, only the persona she has created.  

MARY: You don’t even know my name.
JOHN: Is ‘Mary Watson’ good enough for you?

Here again – it’s a lovely and romantic sentiment, but even as Mary was thrilled to accept his forgiveness, she must have gotten the message that Mary Watson is acceptable, but her history as Rosamund is not.  That could only have heightened her sense of insecurity in the relationship.  It would have been a much more generous gesture on John’s part if he had simply asked her name at that moment, instead of shoving it into the closet of things we must never speak of.

In TST, John acts surprised that Mary is still keeping secrets from him, but what choice did he give her?  He basically told her there’s this whole part of her life that he doesn’t want to hear about.  

And when he does catch her in her lies, John tries to be understanding, but he makes another small mistake with big repercussions:

JOHN: Mary, I may not be a very good man, but I think I’m a bit better than you give me credit for, most of the time.

I think what he means is that he’s not as judgmental as she thinks – she doesn’t need to hide from him, because he would support her even in difficult times.  But by phrasing it in terms of him being “good”, he also unintentionally reminds her that she is not good.  This is a difference between them in her mind: he is good and she is bad.  

MARY: You’re always a good man, John. I’ve never doubted that. You never judge; you never complain. I don’t deserve you.

She seems here to be accepting his claim that he won’t judge her. But in saying that she doesn’t deserve him, she’s highlighting the fact that he makes her feel lesser, which makes her insecure and leads her to lie and misrepresent herself in order to seem “good” enough for him.  

Once they get back home, she states this problem again, even more clearly:

MARY: You don’t make it easy, do you?
JOHN: What d’you mean?
MARY: Well, being … being so perfect.

Unmistakably, she is trying to tell him how hurt she is by the roles they’ve unwittingly assigned each other: Perfect John and Bad Mary.  And at last, it seems like John gets it. Before they’re interrupted, he starts to tell her about his affair in an effort to reassure Mary that neither of them is perfect.  It feels like the best chance they have for a fresh start based on a better understanding of and respect for each other as real, flawed people.

Then, sadly, Mary dies before they are able to hash this out. And one of the most tragic elements of her death scene is this:

MARY: Being Mary Watson was the only life worth living.

Mary wants to leave their relationship on the best note possible, but it breaks my heart that even with her dying breaths, she feels the best way to do this is to deny the “bad Rosamund” that John always seemed to be rejecting, and present herself as the “good Mary” that she believed John wanted her to be.

And the thing is, I don’t think John ever intended her to feel that way.  He wears a conventional veneer, but Sherlock is right – deep down, John wanted to be with someone as dangerous and morally grey as he is.  He initially thought he wanted perfect Mary, but he really fell in love with the more complicated Rosamund underneath.

And yet, even though he loved her, forgave her, and respected her for the most part, a part of him was still angry and resentful over Mary’s betrayal, and I think he unconsciously picked on her for it in these subtle ways.  

Which is understandable, if not ideal.  But what *really* saddens me is what John says at the end of TLD:

JOHN: I’m not the man you thought I was; I’m not that guy. I never could be. But that’s the point. That’s the whole point. Who you thought I was… is the man who I want to be.

No, John, no!  He’s so close here, but then he gets it so wrong.  Mary doesn’t want you to be that perfect man she thought you were! Mary thought that dude was kind of a jerk!  And she was right, honestly.  What Mary was trying to tell you is, that man is sanctimonious, patronizing, and judgmental.  DON’T BE THAT GUY.  No one likes that guy, least of all Mary.  

Mary didn’t want a “good man”, she wanted a partner in crime. Someone who understood her and respected her – ALL of her, not just the pretty and well-behaved bits.  At your best, John, you were that partner, but at your worst, you were a superior, scolding, hypocritical prig.

I’m not sure, but I think (I hope?) this is what Sherlock’s getting at during this exchange:

SHERLOCK: It’s not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling, from time to time, that we might all just be human.
JOHN: Even you?
SHERLOCK: No. Even you.

The lesson John needs to learn is not to be a better man for the perfect, imaginary version of Mary in his head, but to be kinder and more accepting and empathetic to the real, flawed person Mary actually was.  And to honor her memory, perhaps be kinder and more accepting and empathetic to people like her – including himself.

anonymous asked:

Hello~ I was reading your ask about fic recs centering around powerful Magnus, and you mentioned how some fics don't have Magnus as "a character in his own right," so I was wondering if you have any tips/general advice on what writers like myself should keep in mind when writing Magnus? Like Dos/Don't and which stereotypes to be careful of/avoid? (I figured I'd ask you since you love Magnus very much and i'm always scared of accidentally writing magnus as lesser, if that makes sense?) Thanks!

This is a good question! I should clarify that I’m not suggesting people shouldn’t write Alec-centric stories because obviously if you have a shorter story there maybe just isn’t room to explore another character. That’s totally fine and everyone has a certain character they identify with more. So that isn’t really what I mean when I call Magnus a prop. It’s more like there are certain trends I see in not just writing, but also meta and headcanons, that strikes me as problematic. For example:

Magnus the Waiting Waifu

Wherein he’s waiting for Alec to come home or call him or generally just existing only to be available instantly Alec. Magnus is the High Warlock, guys. He’s got better things to do. Between being the High Warlock and the Head of the Institute, Magnus and Alec probably have to fight tooth and nail to get time to spend together. I’d like to see more of this. I’d like to see Magnus waking up early to squeeze in a goodbye kiss before Alec leaves. I’d like to see Alec duck out between a hunt to bring Magnus coffee as he’s on his way to meet a client.

Like, there’s a ton of fics about Alec falling asleep on Magnus after coming home late, but few about the opposite even though in CoLS, it’s stated that Alec has trouble pulling Magnus away from his work and that it’s Alec who actually winds up going to bed alone on some nights. Speaking of which:

Magnus the Always Ready for Sex Bisexual

Magnus has hedonistic tendencies, but let’s not make it like he’s just ready to go at all times or that he’s always the one initiating between them. Sometimes he’s got other shit on his mind. Seriously, in the same scene in CoLS, Alec practically had his hands down Magnus’s pants and Magnus was literally like “Yeah ok maybe in 5 min.” 

Alec leaned into him, pinning Magnus between the table and his own body. Not that Magnus seemed to mind.

“Come on,” Alec said against Magnus’s ear. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

Magnus bit his lip and glanced over his shoulder at the papers on the table, his gaze fixed on ancient syllables in forgotten languages. “Why don’t you go on ahead?” he said. “I’ll join you—five minutes.”

“Sure.” Alec straightened up, knowing that when Magnus was deep in his studies, five minutes could easily become five hours. “I’ll see you there.”

It’s suggested this isn’t even a rare occurrence. Alec seems to know this trait of his after dating him only a few months.

Magnus the Unconditionally Supportive Boyfriend

Magnus is very patient and understanding with Alec. He’s kind, and as a whole he wants to see the right thing done. This is canon. But Magnus can also be petty and bitter and cynical. Sometimes he stirs shit just because he can and it amuses him (1.12, taking digs about Jace and Clary being siblings). This does not make him a bad person. I think it’s important to remember because while white characters tend to be allowed their flaws, POC are required to go above and beyond. Their mistakes are often less forgivable, blotting out any hint of good they otherwise have. So people either dismiss the character altogether or, if they like them enough, then the MOC is often rendered as Very Pure and his flaws completely ignored even if they may be addressed in canon as if acknowledging said flaws automatically ruins the character and makes them Bad rather than human. (This is just the other side of the same coin regarding what fandom does to white characters where their terrible deeds are acknowledged but woobified and excused and made totally okay.)

For instance, as early as 1.02, when Magnus chose to rescue his warlocks and leave Dot behind/ignore Clary’s need for help, there was bit of an outcry from fandom about how “Magnus would never do that.“ As if the entire fandom forgot moments in book canon where Magnus basically slammed the door in Jocelyn’s face when she came to him for help (Tessa had to convince him) or where he manipulated Clary into finding and giving him the Book of the White.

Magnus is 400 years old. He’s complex, occasionally ruthless, and has an exceptionally sharp tongue. Sometimes he projects his feelings. Sometimes his desire for self-preservation overrules his compassion. Sometimes he has his own agenda that takes precedent over other people. And yes, this includes Alec. (See 1.09 where he helps steal the cup.) Magnus’s priorities and self-interests being in conflict with Alec is not him being a bad boyfriend. It makes him a person and part of a growing relationship is two people navigating and making compromises. I’d like to see more people explore this rather than just constantly making Magnus Alec’s cheerleader.

Anyway, that’s the general gist of it. I have read good meta and fanfic, but there’s definitely a trend that can be seen, though this is really something that applies to all fandoms.

Matthew Daddario Quotes
  • "We call our shoes ‘sneakers,’ right? But they're not really sneaking."
  • "Can't wait till they invent phones with keyboards."
  • "I don't know this guy. He came to hang out so I complimented his hair."
  • "How many artichokes can you eat in one sitting?"
  • "No, go back to my idea!"
  • "Maybe, they'll throw the books out. Just not follow the books anymore."
  • "Hey guys did everyone floss today? You gotta floss every day. Otherwise, your dentist makes you feel bad."
  • "I play piano but I won't call it a talent."
  • "I'm the funniest person in the cast and that's simply because everybody else is so painfully unfunny."
  • "There is literally no memory left in my phone. I took fourteen thousand blue sky photos and I need all of them."
  • "Send him photos of fried chicken and crab cakes."
  • "I have a dentist appt tomorrow. I'm not gonna brush my teeth tonight. Also not going to shower. This is going to be painful for everyone."
  • "You are not trash, you are lovely!"
  • "Don't sign contracts in your blood. It's usually not required by any reputable party."
  • "He's slippin' out his little tongue eating snail treats off the ground."
  • "I will eat anywhere in the house. I'll eat cheese crackers in bed!"
  • "He looks down and sees this wonderful man. He hops down there and smooches that man right on the face. Right in front of everyone."
  • "...it's not fair that he is more handsome than me!!!"
  • "Don't do the hokey pokey around witches."
  • "They're never gonna release the deleted scenes to you guys because they're racy and inappropriate."
  • "This video is going on social media!"
  • "I'm ashamed to admit I lied about the selfies. The phone is 98% cow pictures and I can't delete them. I need a new phone. Forgive me."
  • "Thank god I started sandpapering my feet when I was four."
  • "Is Alec appreciating at an increased rate because of an increase in demand? Or is it the same rate as before."
  • "Note, some alpaca do not appreciate head pats."
  • "If humans lived in barns, we'd be smelly, too."
  • "Had to delete all my cow photos to make room for selfies, so I will say 'I appreciate you, cows.'"
  • "Wow. It's spelled Gollum. Wow. So disappointed. Hiding my own cell phone for the next two weeks."
  • "You're a little kitty cat. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy kitty cat, kitty cat."
  • "Sometimes when I travel between dimensions, I think, man, I should really buy a sailboat."
  • "If I was running for President, my VP would be a well trained golden retriever."
  • "Who's not going to watch Hamlet in space? I mean, Space Hamlet!"
  • "I just think we should all acknowledge what is awesome about Harry!"
  • "I like eating food after dark."
  • "Generally, people avoid kissing their sister in a healthy life."
  • "If you don't like my zebra leggings, it's because you just don't understand zebra leggings."
  • "I think we should provide more showers for cows."
  • "If I'm having a bad day, I eat pizza."
  • "I hope Google uses the same algorithm to encrypt my email as my pocket does to tie knots with my headphones."
  • "I would own a farm. Not like growing crops but maybe have a few animals like cows, and maybe an alpaca or a llama. I would chop wood all day."
  • "Dog. #dog. Dog. Dog."
  • "Had fun tweeting with/at you guys. Phone is about to die. Gonna go get more double-A batteries."
  • "The jackhammer has been joined by his friend, the concrete saw. Rare that you get two music legends right outside your window like this."
  • "Interdimensional cat smuggling is severely punished. But you can make a killing on the black cat market."
  • "You should just give up on me like I did. So done with me right now I can't even."
  • "What am I fan of? No one's ever asked me this before! Oh man."
  • "I don't know why they say that. I think they're poking fun at me."
  • "Congrats. You deserve that sailboat."
  • "I don't know. I don't have any pet peeve. Yapping little dogs, I guess. Buttons that don't go up right."
  • "Donkeys look like rabbit horses."
  • "Everyone is all, 'follow your heart.' If that worked I'd be watching Shadowhunters in my spaceship."
  • "Am I making this up?"
  • "I don't condone it, but I understand it, and therefore, I will not pass judgment on it."
  • "I can eat a pound of pork rinds."
  • "I am your bird king!"
  • "Baby pigs or baby cows? They're both good options."
  • "I have deleted a single photo from my phone. I have room for one selfie. Living on the edge. If it happens, no second chances."
  • "She gets it at a Shadowhunter tailor where we get all our stuff. Are you serious?"
  • "My cell phone is not the most important thing in my life. It just feels that way."
  • "Kill her immediately. Problem solved."
  • "You're not me? Most people aren't, in my experience."
  • "Man I've spent a whole year talking about sailboats and I could have just jumped on this SHIP."
  • "Reminder not to cite 'game of thrones' as my motivation for getting into politics."
  • "To all the people who threaten to punch me in the face... Do I have to be concerned or is that a love thing?"
  • "Put this on?! Fit it on my body?!"
  • "I’m going to shave today. Nobody will recognize me and I’ll have to reintroduce myself to all my friends."
  • "Don't get me started on this question."
  • "Okay, quick question. What does it mean when someone says they are your 'trash?' Asking for a friend..."
  • "Wait, 'SexyBack' is by Justin Timberlake?"
  • "Everyone's smooching everyone and Alec just wants to do his job. That's why he's the best and deserves a big smooch."

anonymous asked:

Hi! Just wondering, what are your thoughts on Snape? I understand his bravery in spying and the marauders treated him like shit and hardly got punished for it, but I don't know if any of that excuses his behaviour towards his students? I can never quite make up my mind...

Oh, Snape. He’s such a complex and interesting character. He had, we can infer, a lousy childhood. He was poor, he’d been isolated from magical friends until he want to Hogwarts and seems to have only known Lily.  He attracts a bully on the train and James Potter and Co. spend the next few years targeting him ‘just because he exists.’

We know Hogwarts doesn’t make any real attempt to rein in bullying. Luna gets her things stolen by her housemates with no visible repercussions. Draco is a brat in Canon. (Dressing up like a Dementor, Draco?  Really?)  No repercussions.  We see much the same with Snape. He gets picked on to the point of attempted murder and the school kind of shrugs.

That’s all just horrible.

The bullying scene we see in the pensive is pretty brutal.  It’s multiple students against one. It occurs, timeline wise, AFTER the attempted murder so it’s pretty clear the Mauraders know they are untouchable.  I mean, if you can get away with attempted murder you know no one’s going to stop you for a little humiliation.

Imagine having multiple bullies go after you in public, strip your clothes off you, and laugh because they know they’ll be no consequences.  

Man has reasons to hate.

Now, in a simple story, he’d see Harry, devote his life to protecting him, and get a nice and tidy redemption arc. He’d grow to care about his only friend’s child. He’d nurture him. He’d grow as a person.

Not Snape.

Like many people who are terribly hurt as children, he turns into his own abusers. He still hates. He hates Harry for looking like his tormenter. He hates children because he’s stuck in this job he despises.  

(BTW, high school teachers who don’t like teenagers are more common than you might think.  I only taught for three years, and the plural of anecdote is not data and all that, but I was pretty surprised how many people I worked with who didn’t seem to like adolescents. And they PICKED that job. Snape didn’t even pick it.)

Anyway.

He stays a dick.  He’s horrible to his students.  If a child whose parents have been tortured into insanity is more afraid of you than anything else, you’re a monster.  A lot of people have shitty childhoods and manage not to turn into shitty adults, but not Snape. He is a horrible adult.

And he spies anyway. He does the noble thing not because he’s a good person. Not because he loves the boy he’s protecting.  And doing the right thing STILL doesn’t turn him into a good person. He remains bitter, and filled with hate, and tormented by the way he was abused.

He’s a man who had reasons to grow into a horrible person.  He does the right thing anyway, without any sentimental, touchy-feely redemption confessions of how now he understands. Nope.  He dies still a dick, still emotionally trapped by his own shortcomings, still a hero.

Damn, is he a brilliant character.   

don't leave

Requested.

masterlist

word count: 3,184 (holy shit)

**warning: SMUT**

“It upsets me to think this is our last day together for months.” I confessed to Shawn, who was currently laying on the couch with his head in my lap, engrossed in a movie. My words made him turn his head to look at me. He looked up at me through beautiful brown eyes.

“Then just don’t think about it and you won’t be upset.” he said with a shrug. Oh what a wonderful solution you have there, Shawn. I wish it were that easy.

“It’s just not that easy. You’re going on a world tour, I’m going to college. You have other friends, Shawn, I don’t. All I have is you.”

“You have friends other than me. There’s no way I’m your only friend.” he teased.

“I have acquaintances, not friends.” I informed. “These acquaintances also won’t be going to the same school as me.”

“Nobody else could get into the school you’re going to because not everyone can be a fucking mega genius like you.” Shawn said, sounded irritated.

“Is that any way to talk to your best friend who made sure you passed physics and graduated?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at him. His facial expression softened at my tone and he no longer seemed angry. We sat in silence for another hour or so, long enough for the movie to be over. Shawn’s friend had suggested the movie and it sucked, if I’m being honest. We decided on watching The Notebook after that, one we both always loved.

We sat next to each other, my head on Shawn’s shoulder but in a platonic, nothing-more-than-friends way. It had gotten to the scene where Allie was kissing ice cream off of Noah’s lips and I felt Shawn laughing. I pulled away from his shoulder to look at him.

“What is it?” I queried, not being able to avoid the smile spreading across my lips from hearing his laugh.

“Wouldn’t it be amazing to be that in love with somebody?” he said. It made my heart sink because, until just now, I had managed to put away my thoughts about how in love I am with Shawn. I had hoped that just this one time we could be together without my thoughts interrupting what should only be friendship with Shawn. My throat felt dry and my eyes stung after he said the words. It was just a simple question, but to me it showed that he wasn’t in love with anyone, including me.

I managed to nod my head then scoot a few inches away from Shawn. I continued watching the movie, not being able to help but imagine Shawn and I being that in love with each other. Sadly, the love was only one sided. We definitely loved each other, but he only loved me as a best friend and I loved him with all I had in me. I realized in this moment I should have told him a long time ago. I should have confessed my feelings because now, we won’t see each other for months so it’s too late.

Shawn and I had planned to spend the whole day together but once the movie was over I felt too lost in my thoughts to stick around.

“I guess I should head home now.” I said softly, starting to stand up.

“What? Why?” Shawn asked, sounding concerned. I looked back at him and he looked hurt that I wanted to leave so early. “I thought you were staying all day?” I wanted to stay, I wanted it more than anything but I couldn’t focus on being his best friend when I was too busy thinking about being his girlfriend. My face felt hot and my eyes stung again, I could feel that they were tearing up. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Shawn grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb over mine. I desperately tried to keep the tears in but I couldn’t help one from falling. A single tear ran down my left cheek and I wiped it away quickly.

“Y/N, please tell me what’s wrong? Did I do something or say something? Come here.” Shawn begged. He lead me to the couch and I sat across from him with my legs crossed.

This was it, this is when I have to tell him. I thought to myself.

I was a horrible liar and Shawn knew better than anyone when I was lying. My voice went higher than usual and my cheeks always turned pink after I realized how ridiculous the lie was. If I lied, he would know. I should just save myself the trouble of making up a lie and tell him.

“I just really don’t want us to have to leave each other because-”

“Because why?” He interrupted.

“Because I hate not being able to see you.” I said, stalling as long as I could.

“Why are you so upset though? I have to leave all the time and you don’t cry, do you?”

“No, but it’s different this time. I’m leaving for college so when you come home, I won’t be here. When I come home, you won’t be here, Shawn. It’s so different this time.”

“It’s not that much diff-”

“Yes, it is, Shawn! You don’t understand!” I said, raising my voice at him without meaning to.

“Then make me understand, Y/N. What is different about leaving this time?”

“Because I’m fucking in love with you and I have to leave you! You’re the reason why I’m going to college in Toronto, so I can be close to you when you come home.” I gasped when I realized that I told him. I actually told Shawn how I felt instead of keeping it to myself like I had for the past half of a year.

“Do you honestly think that I’m not in love with? Why do you think I’ve stayed here and haven’t gotten an apartment in New York or Los Angeles or wherever I want?” He paused. I only stared, waiting for him to continue. He ran his fingers through his thick hair out of frustration. “It kills me every time I have to leave you. You don’t even understand. I should have told you sooner, but I love you. I love you so damn much that it hurts. I’ve seen you get your heart broken multiple times and I have done absolutely nothing about it. I should have told you a long time ago, I’m sorry that we had to tell each other like this.”

“Shawn, don’t apologize. I should have told you a long time ago as well.” I cooed. I rubbed his arm in an attempt to calm him. “What does this mean for us?”

“What do you want it to mean?” He asked, looking up at me with his rich, caramel colored eyes. My own eyes stared into his for a moment, as if I was searching for the answer in his eyes. I exhaled sharply but slowly before giving him an answer.

“I want to make this work if you want to. I want to be with you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” I spoke. His eyes lit up at my words.

He moved closer to me and I didn’t move, I let him inch closer. I watched his every move and then he took my hand in his. Shawn’s fingers laced with mine and I waited for him to do something more. I knew I wouldn’t be able to force myself to initiate a kiss, so I waited for Shawn.

I stared into Shawn’s eyes and his face came closer to mine. A few small tears still lingered on my cheeks and Shawn kissed them away. The feeling of his lips on my skin felt phenomenal, I couldn’t describe the feeling. I breathed hard and sporadically. Shawn’s lips hovered over mine, our lips barely grazing against each other. I surprised myself when I closed the gap. I pressed my lips against his soft, smooth lips. We both smiled, causing us to bump our teeth together. We both laughed because it wasn’t awkward, it felt right. We knew each other so well already that this just felt right. This was how it was supposed to be all along.

Our lips moved together while Shawn’s hands rested on my waist. His soft skin lingered on my lips and he began to pull away. I grabbed the material of his shirt, pulling him back into me.

“Please. Don’t stop.” I breathed out against his lips. My breath was hot and short, I needed his lips on mine so badly that I couldn’t breathe properly. He smiled then kissed me once more. His tongue now traced over my bottom lip and I whimpered lightly at the feeling. Just simple touches from him were driving me insane. I had been craving kisses like these for so long now that this moment felt like pure bliss. His tongue moved against mine slowly and gently, but the kiss grew heated. Shawn’s teeth sunk into my bottom lip and I gasped at the feeling.

His lips now pressed against my neck and it felt delightful. My eyelids closed slowly at the feeling. I didn’t want to focus on anything but Shawn’s lips on my skin right now, but Shawn made that an easy task. His soft lips fluttering on my skin lightly made me shiver. His long fingers traced circles on my hips under my shirt. I now laid underneath him, he hovered over me but pressed his lower half into me. I could feel a slight bulge growing in his jeans and couldn’t help the smirk that grew on my lips.

We kept kissing for a while longer, until both our lips were raw and we had both kissed what little bit of skin that was exposed with all our clothing still on. Shawn’s fingers fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, obviously wanting to take it off.

“Bedroom?” He asked quickly in between sweet pecks on each other’s lips. I nodded and he grabbed my hand, I then followed to his room. Once in his room with the door closed, his fingers moved under my shirt again. He looked into my eyes to make sure it was okay and I gave him a look of approval. He peeled my shirt off and tossed it to the floor. Shawn moved over me on his bed. He kissed my still bra-clad chest delicately. My whole body erupted with a feeling I had never felt with any other guy before Shawn. He slipped his fingers under my bra straps and slid them down my shoulders. His hands were soon at my back to unclasp my bra.

Suddenly, I felt insecure. I felt like I wouldn’t be enough for him. I inhaled deeply while he removed my bra, hoping he wouldn’t be disappointed. Before I could process what was happening, Shawn’s mouth was on my breasts. His lips first kissed lightly, then sucked on my sensitive skin. His tongue teased my nipples and I ran my fingers through his hair. I moaned and whimpered from his touch and he hummed, his throat vibrating against me in response.

“God, you’re so beautiful.” Shawn kissed my stomach right above the button of my pants. I grew nervous because up until this point, I knew what I was doing and I knew what to expect. I’d had sex a couple times before, sure, but Shawn was much more experienced than I was. Even through the nerves, though, my centre throbbed for Shawn.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shawn asked me. My nerves wanted me to say no, but I did want this. I had wanted it, needed it for so long. I told him yes and he continued. His kissed my hips while unbuttoning my pants. They slid down my legs and dropped to the floor with the rest of my clothing. I realized then that Shawn was still fully clothed. He hovered over me again to kiss me. His tongue played with mine and I pushed his shirt up while kissing him, hinting that I wanted it off. He pulled the fabric over his toned abdomen and chest and I nearly felt my heart stop in that moment.

I had seen Shawn shirtless many times but I never really could admire him like I wanted. This time, my eyes scanned over him slowly, taking in every detail of all the ridges and valleys of his body. Shawn asked again if I was sure that I wanted this, I told him again that I did. His long fingers rubbed my core through the damp cloth of my underwear. I squirmed under his touch, even though it was barely anything compared to what would come next. His hands hooked around my panties and removed them. I was now completely nude in front of Shawn for the very first time, something I thought would never happen.

He slipped his middle finger into me, causing me to gasp. His finger worked slowly inside me, trying not to build up the pressure too quickly. Shawn’s mouth made its way to my pussy, licking enthusiastically over my clit. I moaned for him over and over. I soon lost all control over holding off my orgasm. Shawn’s tongue flicked up and down my clit and his finger curled inside me. I arched my back and Shawn now had to hold my legs apart. I came so blissfully and Shawn drug out my orgasm until it was almost painful.

He moved from between my legs with a smile on his face. He wiped his mouth dry with his hand after licking my juices off his finger. A thought occurred to me, I wondered how many times he had done that to be so amazing at it. I also wondered how many times he had done what we were about to do. It was a stupid thing to think, but the experience I lacked in this area made me think this way.

I started to remove Shawn’s jeans. I unbuttoned them eagerly because I wanted to please him like he had just pleased me. Taking his jeans off revealed a prominent bulge in his underwear, which made me even wetter, if that was possible at this point. I inched the waistband of his boxers down until they were off him completely. I took his length in my hand, unsure of what to do but he seemed to enjoy it. I jerked my hand upwards on his cock and he moaned quietly. Shawn’s much larger hand pushed mine away, I thought that maybe it was because he didn’t like it as much as I had presumed.

“You’re going to have to stop. I want to last for you, Y/N.” he spoke. I felt my cheeks heat up at the thought of making him feel so good that he may cum. He searched in his nightstand drawer for a condom. He rolled it onto his hard length after tearing open the wrapper.

“Y/N, I’m only going to ask you one more time and please be honest, are you sure, absolutely sure you want to do this with me?” He said sweetly, lovingly. I started to second guess this whole thing. It was too soon, we just confessed our feelings for each other barely an hour ago. However, if we didn’t do this now, it would be months before we ever got to. I didn’t think I could wait that long.

“I’m completely sure, Shawn. I want this, I need this with you. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” I assured him. He lined himself up at my entrance and kissed my forehead before pushing into me. I winced at the slight discomfort but was no longer hurting after four very slow and steady thrusts.

“Are you okay?” Shawn said, sounding concerned. I nodded and he kept thrusting at a slow pace. I could tell his thrusts were shallow and I was no longer hurting, therefore I wrapped my legs around him. This pushed his length deeper inside me than it had previously been.

“Oh, Shawn.” I gasped. I looked up at Shawn to see him biting his lip while watching himself thrust in and out of me. He looked as if he was struggling with keeping it at such a slow pace from the way his chest was rising so rapidly. He slid into me with ease now and finally, finally bottomed out. We both moaned at the feeling.

“Faster,” I begged, once the feeling of pain and discomfort was completely gone. Shawn looked into my eyes first, just to be sure, then sped up the pace of his thrusts. I could tell this speed pleasured him much more than the previous one and it was a pleasurable feeling for me as well. Shawn’s moans were more frequent and drawn out now. I moaned just as often, maybe even more than Shawn did. He knew how to make this feel so wonderful and different than it had ever felt for me before.

One hand was in Shawn’s hair and the other gripped onto his bicep, my nails digging into his skin. With each thrust I came closer to my climax and Shawn made it hard to not come undone so soon. I tensed around him after a deep thrust. I became short of breath and Shawn could sense I was close. He thrusted faster and I could barely take it. I clenched around his dick, because I wanted to feel every inch of him and also because I couldn’t control it.

Shawn’s hands were placed on my waist in an attempt to get a better grip while he thrusted. Just one more hard, deep thrust pushed me over into euphoric bliss all because of Shawn. I couldn’t believe he could make me feel this way, make me feel like no one else ever had. I grew more sensitive with every second that passed while Shawn brought himself to his orgasm. He pushed in and out of me sloppily and by the time I felt warm liquid fill the condom, I was more sensitive than ever before. Shawn hissed profanities through his teeth.

Shawn threw the condom away then left to clean up. He returned some minutes later and gave me a shirt of his to throw on. I slipped into it and took in his scent. Shawn lay beside me and we just looked at each other with our arms wrapped around one another. We took in the beautiful sight of each other with that post-orgasm glow we now both had. Inevitably, I thought of how we were both leaving tomorrow. It made my heart break into tiny pieces.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave me tomorrow.” I whispered.

“I wish I didn’t either. But when we both come home, I’m yours and you’re mine, yeah?” He spoke. A smile spread across my lips and I nodded to agree. I pecked his lips softly. The feeling of being his was overwhelming.

The King’s Mate Chap. 1

This was the a/b/o stony!verse thing I was talking about! Originally, it was supposed to be a one-shot but as you can see, this is the first chapter. Yeah, this idea has gone waaaay out there. But we’ll see if it continues or not! 

A big and special thanks to the wonderful @tari-aldarion who is my partner in crime (sin). She was beta-ed it and basically made it flawless, she is amazing!

Okay, so…onward!


At the tender age of fifteen, Steve found himself ruling the kingdom after his father’s death. It was a lot to place on a young teen’s shoulders but nothing else could be done. He had no older siblings to take the position and there were relatives that he knew about. The stress would have been too much on his ill mother’s shoulders. 

He was the only choice.

The day of his coronation remained vivid in his memories. The weight of the crown being placed onto his head, the crown of a king. The feeling of his heart pounding against his chest, loud and thumping. The sweat on his palms as he gripped the arms of the throne, being watched by all of his subjects. The droning voice of the Regent that spoke of victory and glory before the hall descended into screaming cheers and thundering claps.

He remembered the feeling of dread that settled in the pit of his stomach.

He remembered a chilling sensation that raced down his spine.

Steve was scared, frightened that he wouldn’t be as good as his father.

He worried about disappointing his people.

Keep reading

kittyichooseyou  asked:

I have a klk question, and I apologize if you've answered it before, but, do you find any significance in Ryuko taking a big bite out of an unpeeled lemon in her introduction? Like, was it just meant to make her seem hard? Or like, does it have some subtext I don't understand? Is she ever seen eating lemon/drinking lemonade as a background thing? I've always wondered about this. Thanks.

I gotta be honest with you: I’m atrocious at talking about symbolism. There’s a reason that my hundreds of essays hardly ever mention it. 

So… I haven’t especially covered this before, but I can provide some Thoughts.

First and foremost, the lemon scene has been largely understood as a homage to FLCL, a coming-of-age anime worked on by Gainax—the studio that Hiroyuki Imaishi and Masahiko Otsuka left to found Studio Trigger, which is the team behind Kill la Kill

In the first episode of FLCL, Naota, the protagonist, refuses to drink the rest of the sour, “Lemon Squash” pop that his friend Mamimi didn’t finish. He claims that he “[doesn’t] like sour drinks” and proceeds to toss the can aside.

However, at the end of the episode, Mamimi offers Naota the sour pop again, and his reaction changes. While he repeats his sentiment—“I told you, I don’t like sour stuff”—Naota doesn’t toss the can aside this time, instead guzzling the drink down.

So, when Ryuko, the protagonist of Kill la Kill, begins the first episode of her show not just forcing herself to consume something sour, but does so purposefully, without flinching… there’s probably something there. Kill la Kill’s director Imaishi did work extensively on FLCL, after all.

But what exactly is meant to be conveyed in either series is entirely dependent on how the “sour” symbol is understood.

On the one hand, the “sourness” could be a symbol of “first love.” For Naota to accept the drink in FLCL would be to accept an “indirect kiss” from Mamimi, who had been drinking from the can previously. The “first love” idea seems supported in Kill la Kill, with Ryuko noting, after Mataro steals her lemon (at least in the original Japanese script), “You’re that eager to learn what first love tastes like?”

Mataro: Bitch, don’t try to be all witty! I’ve had my first kiss!

And with the idea of “first love” comes the idea of childishness. Though it may have some… Unfortunate Implications, in both FLCL and Kill la Kill, it could be said that getting into a first romantic relationship is a sign of growing up. The fact that Naota initially refuses to taste “first love” represents his initial refusal to come of age—and the fact that Mataro in Kill la Kill insists that he has had his first kiss (or “get[s] way more action than [Ryuko]!” in the dub) represents his desire to seem “grown-up” and experienced.

Ryuko’s utterly blase eating of the lemon would then also imply that she has had romantic relationship(s) in the past and is not afraid of them.

However, with all of this, the “sourness” could simply be a larger metaphor: a metaphor of adulthood, maturity, that kind of stuff. Naota deciding to take in the sourness at the end of the first opening episode signifies that his show is going to feature his coming of age—something he initially didn’t want anything to do with, but that the story is going to push him to experience regardless. Ryuko immediately biting into a lemon could then signify that she’s already come of age, but—and more likely, considering Kill la Kill’s ending—it could also signify that she’s not afraid of the hardships, challenges, and “sourness” that comes with coming of age.

In this way, I also see the “sourness” as a bit of a metaphor for moving forward rather than running away. The lemon pop in FLCL is first featured when Naota struggles to tell Mamimi that his brother is seeing someone else—a hard, difficult, “adult” situation that’s not fun and not comfortable. Naota throws the can away, perhaps representative of how he wants to run away from this problem. At the end of the episode, though, Naota has revealed the truth to Mamimi, and he then drinks the pop, signifying that there’s no more running away: he’s growing up, whether he likes it or not.

But disregarding the FLCL tribute, a character introduction that features the character biting into a raw, unpeeled lemon is powerful on its own. It tells audiences right away that this character is badass—whether her lemon-eating is because she’s not afraid of growing up or hardship or “first love” or because of any other reason, you shouldn’t mess with this chick.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love your writing style and I just wanted to ask how you describe and frankly bring to life your character's screams and agony? I have to get myself into the mood in order to do that and I usually don't like how I describe my screams or yells. It usually ends up as something like 'He let out a heartbreaking scream, it was an ugly sound; hoarse and full of ugly emotions. It was stifling., etc etc etc'

Hey anon! Great question! There are so many great ways to get anguish across to the reader, bear with me as I ramble it out!

I think “hoarse and full of ugly emotions” is great, in fact the entire scream description is wonderful. Something you may want to look at is layering the scene; you’re describing the sound, yes, and the emotion, yes, but there’s more going on! Maybe the character no longer feels the ground underneath their feet, maybe there is a roaring in their ears, maybe there is something suddenly missing from inside–something that they had taken for granted for all of these years but, now that it’s gone, the absence aches.

The more you give the reader to latch onto, the more pain that will come across! Remember that everyone pulls something different from your writing. Some people will be more focused on the character’s emotions. Others will be seeing the scene in their mind’s eye and will want to know if your character collapses or not. Still others will be focused on the reaction of other characters in the scene.

Which brings me to my next point!

Using other characters to show your main character’s pain is great. A lot of my characters would rather be shot than admit that they’re having an emotion, so it’s really helpful for another character to show some compassion towards them.

“I’m fine,” Jenn says, smiling brightly. Her hands clench involuntarily and it takes a moment before she can relax them. “What’s next?”

Jasmine watches her, brow furrowed. She reaches out one hand as if to touch Jenn’s shoulder, but rethinks it at the last moment. “Are you…okay?”

“Oh yeah,” Jenn says. Her heart is beating very fast and there is something hot and ugly clawing its way up her throat. She turns on her heel, unwilling to look at the concern on Jasmine’s face any longer. “I’m great.”

Later, alone in her room, Jenn will collapse into herself. She will wrap her arms around her knees and scream into them, harsh and long and loud. She’ll cry, great wracking sobs, and her throat will burn as she tries to just fucking breathe through the weight of her loss.

But, right now, she’s fine. She has to be.

First, I gave Jenn an upset gesture (clenching the hands). Then I showed Jasmine offering comfort, Then I gave Jenn another feeling (heart beating fast) and an out of character action (turning away) so that the reader understands that she’s not fine. Then, for the readers who do want things spelled out, I wrote in the scream.

So you definitely don’t have to use all of these, but two or three in a scene really helps ground the emotion! And don’t worry about taking too much time in description– what takes a writer two hours to write will often only take a reader only 30 seconds to read. So you definitely have space to really enjoy writing the emotion (also remember that it’s easier to edit down than build up!)

Hope this helps! Happy writing :)

ok finn and rey have a lot of Iconic scenes but, imo, the most iconic is the scene at maz’s castle bc like…..my guy finn absolutely 100% did not have to tell rey the truth about who he was but he did anyway?? furthermore, he really didn’t have to ask her to run away with him either, like he literally just met her but he was totally down to head off and start a life with her. im not crying, you are.

(and as a little sidenote, when kylo kidnapped rey - bc yes, children, that was a kidnapping - did finn have to go try to get her back? did he have to literally walk right back into the place he’s spent the entire movie up until this point running away from? HELL NO. but he did anyway bc #love)

AND EVEN FURTHERMORE when he stormed away from the table, did rey have to follow him? NOPE. sis could’ve just been like “ok that guy isn’t down with the cause no sweat off my back” but she did bc it was important that finn was a part of finishing what they started (together, might i add). and fURTHER, FURTHERMORE - in what is perhaps the Greatest thing rey could have ever done for finn in that moment - when finn does tell her about his stormtrooper past, sHE DOESN’T EVEN FREAK OUT ABOUT IT????? like there’s no overdramatic reaction about him lying to her or about who he really is was. like there’s just this look of…..understanding (is that a good word to use here?? idk) and i, for one, think that is Beautiful

point is, this is nonsense but finn and rey are very much in love and tfa is full of factual evidence to support that thank u.

anonymous asked:

It appears Ed has deleted his Twitter. I'm bummed to see him go but it's probably best for him mentally. People are just gonna rag on him because he's very popular now and not underrated like in 2012 (not bashing, there's nothing wrong with no longer being underrated). I don't watch GoT so I don't understand why people hate his cameo so much. Can you explain, and what are your thoughts on all of this?

I know you sent this last night and Ed’s account is back now, but I’m still going to answer it because I have Things to say about Ed’s Game of Thrones cameo. 

The people who hated it hated it for two reasons. The first reason was simply on principle, because they think they’re standing up for something. This reason is fricking stupid, I don’t mind saying. Please quote me on that: it is fricking stupid. These people don’t like Ed because he’s popular. There will always be people like this. They are ridiculous. Can you imagine disliking anything simply because other people like it? The bizarre thing is these people like to say they dislike popular things because they “have taste” or can “decide for themselves what is good” but what they are actually doing is letting the taste of other people influence whether or not they like something without giving themselves a chance to exercise their own taste and choose for themselves in the first place. They convince themselves something is shitty because they’re not the one who discovered it first. The logic – where is it? If I ever make an ass of myself complaining on the internet about not liking something on principle because it got popular without my help, feel free to put me out of my misery because I never want to live a life full of that much stupid.

So. These people didn’t like Ed’s cameo because they unreasonably hate him for being popular and he was on their favorite show, thereby ruining it. You just have to ignore the fact that their favorite show is literally the most popular show in the world. Otherwise their already ridiculous argument breaks down even further in the telling.

The other reason some people didn’t like Ed’s cameo is because they didn’t understand the purpose of that scene within the episode. It is admittedly longish for a scene in which not a lot of action takes place, but that is the point of the scene. Yes, it’s just three minutes of small talk between a main character and some soldiers she meets along the road, but the scene works to humanize everyone in it. Arya has just brutally murdered several of her enemies and is on the way to murder another one (probably several) when she meets these soldiers, the men loyal to the very people she’s on her way to kill. There aren’t really that many of them and considering her skill, she could probably kill them pretty easily, especially given how vulnerable they are in this moment with their weapons in a pile off to one side and the fact that they don’t think of her as a threat. She’s eyeing their swords because she is obviously considering killing them. But then–! They’re unexpectedly nice to her. The soldiers of her enemies offer her food and wine and a place by their fire, and they’re friendly and polite to her, and they talk to her about their lives, about what they’d be doing if they were home where they want to be instead of off fighting someone else’s war. The scene is about Arya realizing that these guys are just people like her, that they have families and hobbies and hopes, and that it’s not their fault they happen to be on opposite sides of this fight. They show her that they aren’t soulless monsters the way you’d want to believe about your enemies and so she spares them, proving that she hasn’t become soulless either despite what she’s done, and they all share this quiet few minutes of peace and humanity in the middle of their otherwise bloody and brutal lives. 

The complaint from those who don’t get it: it’s boring. It’s three minutes of nothing happening because they just wanted to write an overrated popstar into the show. To this, I say: YOUR FACE IS BORING. And just because you don’t get it, you’re going to come online and act like it’s Ed Sheeran’s fault your mind isn’t analytical enough to understand the themes and nuances of your dragon show? Listen, this scene is brilliant. And touching. And sad and beautiful. It makes you question what it means to fight for something, what the point of it is, whether maybe there’s a better way – like sitting by the fire and singing a song together while drinking blackberry wine and being nice

The people who don’t understand this scene wouldn’t have understood it no matter who played Ed’s part, but I frankly think it was a perfect casting. A guy who is this famous, someone you might expect to hate but who actually has a reputation for being kind to people, playing the part of a soldier in the enemy’s army who is actually kind. Art imitating life! I love it.

Oh, and I guess the third kind of person who bashed Ed’s Game of Thrones appearance is just the usual trolls. 

Here’s the bottom line, though: there is no real, logical reason to hate Ed’s cameo. I’m not saying people aren’t allowed, obviously. If they don’t like him, for whatever bizarre reason they can come up with, then that’s their prerogative. But  the fact is he looked great, sounded great, did as good a job delivering his lines as any of the other people in the scene, and was all around a pleasure to watch – and certainly the opposite of a show ruiner. And this is coming from a huge Game of Thrones fan! There may be other people - both famous and unknown - who could have done as good a job as Ed did in that role, but there is no one who could have done it better

And did I mention how great he sounded? :D

Alllllrighty, all that being said, and to address the other part of your message, I’m not actually convinced the twitter thing had much (if anything) to do with people dissing Ed’s Game of Thrones appearance. In fact, I’ve seen a lot more positive and/or funny feedback about it than negative. I think a lot of people - and the media - are assuming the GoT cameo was related because the two things happened within a day of each other and so the hate has been blown largely out of proportion to be used as a reason. But unless Ed or Stuart or somebody releases some sort of statement about it saying that was the case, I don’t think it’s necessary or productive to link the two things together. I’m content that Ed’s cameo was perfect, and his twitter account is back. :) 

queenconsuelabananahammock  asked:

Were Mila and Danny a thing??? I mean I had ~a feeling~ that they may have been at some point but...what's the tea 👀

They weren’t, as said by them plenty of times and the facts one can add.

I’m not much of a RPF fan, so I’m going to try and make this response as clear and informative as I can. But,

  • She was underage for most part of the show. He being 7 years older than her would had been a little bit crazy and honest to god disgusting if they were a thing. Which I don’t believe they were because
  • Both were on relationships by the time the rumor of them being a thing was spread. He has always present as a very monogamous man, liking and having serious and long-term relationships, which he had during the show and after, before marrying Bijou Philips. While Mila was also in a long-term serious relationship with actor Macaulay Culkin.
  • Another thing to add is the fact that both had refer to the other as their brother/sister, which makes sense since he seemed to have bonded with her pretty early during filming.
  • After the show ended, and their relationships too, they didn’t had a reason to hide if they had been together, but to this day they keep saying the same: they never dated, they see each other as brother/sister, it was only a rumor.

IMPORTANT, 24/06/2017: This post is constantly updated. It has gotten to long, so the rest is now under the cut. You can ask me whatever you want about it.

Keep reading

Who else dad is weird like this 🙄
  • *in another world at another time*
  • Me: *gets text*
  • Dad: Hey, who's my favorite daughter?
  • Me: Dad?
  • Dad: Hey there, dear. 😉
  • Me: DAD WTF YOU'RE ALIVE.
  • Dad: Last time I checked I was. 😂
  • Me: *out loud* Oh my god!
  • Roommate: Please stop screaming, I'm in a very intense debate about the merits of socialism with an online friend, and I can't concentrate with you making such a racket.
  • Me: Socialism? Aren't you incredibly rich and vain?
  • Roommate: I'm a Trotskyist, you fool.
  • Me: Who cares! My dad's alive!
  • Roommate: I wasn't aware that your dad was dead?
  • Me: Neither was I. I thought he had just abandoned me and my mom all those years ago. I have quite a story about it. When I was about 14, my dad took me on a road trip to go to IHOP for a delicious breakfast. After we had finished, he got up to use the bathroom and never returned. He left me stranded in a strange IHOP two states over.
  • Roommate: You traveled two states away to go to an IHOP?
  • Me: I mean, it was a road trip.
  • Roommate: How do you know it's your dad?
  • Me: Check my phone, it says dad right there. Of course he's my dad.
  • Roommate: It could be anyone.
  • Me: There's no one else in my contacts with the name dad, other than my dad, ya goober. In fact, with every new phone I've gotten I always added his old phone number to the contacts in case of a moment just like this.
  • Roommate: Even still, don't you think it's suspicious that your father is contacting you via text nearly a decade after he abandoned you?
  • Me: No.
  • Roommate: Not even a bit?
  • Me: No. *buzz* Oh, he texted me again!
  • Dad: Hey, who's my favorite daughter?
  • Me: Me, of course! 😘
  • Dad: No.
  • Me: What?
  • Dad: You're my fifth favorite daughter.
  • Me: I don't understand.
  • Dad: I have six daughters and you're my fifth favorite one. The sixth one died in a scuba diving accident.
  • Me: So I'm your least favorite daughter?
  • Dad: No, don't think of it like that! You're not my least favorite daughter, you're just my least favorite LIVING daughter. 😉
  • Me: That doesn't make me feel better.
  • Dad: Ah, it doesn't matter. You remember me, your dad, the big wacky goofball! 😝
  • Me: I remember you trading my bicycle for coke.
  • Dad: It's a thing of the past, my daughter who I love the least. I don't want to worry about the past, let's meet up and discuss the future.
  • Me: OMG You want to meet up? Where?
  • Dad: IHOP, for old time's sake, but this time let's make it the one in town.
  • Me: *out loud* Oh my god, I'm meeting up with my dad!
  • Roommate: I'm right here, you don't have to yell.
  • Me: I'm so excited. I'm reconnecting with my father. Most girls can only dream of this moment.
  • Roommate: He honestly sounds like a terrible person.
  • Me: People change.
  • Roommate: Yeah, sometimes they become worse.
  • Me: You're just overly pessimistic because you're a goth and also a Trotskyist.
  • Roommate: Eh, I can't deny it.
  • *later at IHOP*
  • Me: *waiting at table* I can't wait to see my dad again. I wonder what he looks like. I bet he's a businessman now. Oh, or maybe he's a priest. *notices commotion at the front of the store* Hmm?
  • Waitress: Sir, please wait to be seated.
  • Disheveled Dude: I'm meeting up with someone, you flighty broad. There's not much time. Get out of my way.
  • Me: *internally* At least that guy isn't my dad.
  • Disheveled Dude: Oh, there she is. *runs and sits at my table* Oh my god, is that my little girl. You've grown up so much. You look way too much like your mom. It's bringing back some really bad memories. I'm sorta regretting. Just joking. Hahaha. WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR WAITRESS, I'M TRYING TO EAT HERE!?
  • Me: What a coincidence it is that the horrible man making a scene at the front of the restaurant is my dad...
  • Disheveled Dude: What's with the distant look on your face? You're acting like you saw a ghost. Haha, maybe you do think I'm a ghost. Hey, sorry about leaving you at the IHOP all those years ago. Kinda got bored of the whole dad thing. JESUS CHRIST, CAN YOU GUYS FUCKING HURRY UP AND GET US A WAITRESS. F-Fuck. *wipes sweat off forehead*
  • Me: Dad?
  • Disheveled Dude: WHAT!?
  • Me: *jumps in seat*
  • Disheveled Dude: Sorry, I've been really on edge recently. *nervously looks over shoulder* Where the fuck are these waitresses?
  • Me: Dad... *gets teary eyed*
  • Disheveled Dude: Oh god, are you gonna start crying on me.
  • Me: *sniffles* I'm sorry, I just missed you so much.
  • Disheveled Dude: Yeah, yeah, I missed you too. Time to move onto the next thing. Inheritance. Uh, I'm gonna die eventually, so you can have all of my money. *put suitcase stuffed with cash on the table and pushes it towards me* You can just have it now, for all I care. I mean, you never know when I'm gonna die.
  • Me: Dad, I don't want your money. I just want to spend time with you.
  • Disheveled Dude: Well, you can spend all the time in the world with me once you accept the fat wads of cash in this suitcase. I just need you to say verbally that you're accepting this money from me as a legitimate form of inheritance.
  • Me: Dad, please. I just want to talk to you.
  • Disheveled Dude: Come on and take the fucking cash, Elizabeth.
  • Me: My name's not Elizabeth.
  • Disheveled Dude: Okay, whatever. Take the money and clearly dictate that you are accepting the entirety of this money as a legitimate form of inheritance from your loving father. You can use it for college, you're college aged right. Or prenatal care. I don't fucking know. What shitty kid doesn't want FREE FUCKING MONEY!?
  • Me: *stands up from seat* Dad! You're the worst ever! I hate you! *runs out of IHOP sobbing*
  • Disheveled Dude: Fuck, I knew that wasn't going to work. *notices how dark it is outside* It's almost here. I wasted so much goddamn time. I'm never going to get rid of this thing. FUCK!
  • Waitress: *nervously* I can help you now, sir.
  • Disheveled Dude: Oh, so now you show up. I'm not so hungry now. In fact, I've lost my entire damn appetite.
  • Waitress: I'm sorry, sir. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry.
  • Disheveled Dude: Which one of those cars outside is yours?
  • Waitress: The red one.
  • Disheveled Dude: That broken down piece of shit?
  • Waitress: Yes.
  • Disheveled Dude: Guess, there's no other choice. It'll have to do. Give me your fucking keys.
  • Waitress: What?
  • Disheveled Dude: *points gun at waiter* GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING KEYS!
  • Waitress: *drops keys on the table*
  • Disheveled Dude: *tosses wads of cash at the waitress* That's easily $200,000. Go buy yourself a better car. You might want to make it quick. *runs out of IHOP*
  • Waitress: *watches disheveled dude speed off* Why is it so dark outside and where did everyone go? I guess it doesn't matter now, though. $200,000. That's a lot of money. I wonder what I'm gonna do with all this? I'm so excited that I'm lightheaded. The future is so bright now.
  • Wall of Darkness: *encroaches*