i don't think you understand all these feelings that i'm feeling

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(This edition of the manga reads left-to-right).

2

Tom/Harry AU: Harry didn’t expect to face Tom Marvolo Riddle again, not after what had occurred in the Chamber of Secrets. Four years later, however, he was proved wrong. This version of Tom wasn’t part of Voldemort’s split soul any longer—instead he appeared to be tied to Harry, who was far from pleased by this development.

Well, anyway.

I think most often when it comes to Aesthetics, Enjolras and Grantaire are associated to a tempest, to pining and sadness and misunderstandings. To passion, to anger, and half arguments half debates filled with Something More.

But to me, it’s more and more different.

To me, Enjolras and Grantaire are that feeling when you just lay down in a bed after one hell of a crazy night; so many things happened! Excitement and fear, and anger and joy, and Crazy Events you’re not sure yet were positive or not; it was one hell of a rollercoaster of feelings and yet here you are, safe in your bed, and there’s this person next to you and at the beginning of the night you didn’t know them that well at all, but because of the night’s circumstances, you’re both here now, and when talking was sort of awkward hours ago, now it flows easily;

They’re that weird feeling at six am, when you’ve been talking for two hours despite the tiredness, and the light is slowly pouring in the bedroom, and you think: “oh, i know you. This is you.”

They’re the feeling of a new beginning at dawn.

Re: that whole debate that occasionally resurfaces on tumblr with various degrees of bitterness and spite, personally I understand why people don’t kudo or comment on fics. 

Sometimes we only read the first chapter of a fic, or want to continue later and then forget it exists. Sometimes we download it somewhere, and then it’s annoying to follow the link back to the platform to share our opinion. And sometimes we just feel our opinion is worthless, in any case - that we can’t muster up anything more interesting than Thanks, that was beautiful, and nobody wants to hear something that dull.

(Not true, by the way. Every author wants to know their work is appreciated, and it doesn’t matter how ordinary or badly spelled or incoherent your comment is. If you feel like saying something, go for it. It could really make someone’s day.) 

And sometimes we’re just plain lazy. We live in a consumer society - we’re not used to think about who makes all our stuff. We just accept it’s there, as if by magic, and go on with our lives. 

(Which is not okay, by the way, but that’s a completely different debate.)

So, you know - kudos and comments and fanart and fic recs are incredibly kind ways to show your appreciation for a story you’ve loved, but if you forget to do it, or you feel you can’t for some reason, you’re not evil. Personally, I’m much more annoyed by the other side of the equation - by the control corporations still exercise upon our minds, by the wars they wage against fans, by how they promote only the worst kind of fanfiction because they can somehow turn it into solid gold, and it doesn’t matter if it’s badly written and OOC and basically shit in every way. And also by the fact that fanfiction is, like, the only kind of fan work you cannot sell or profit from and the kind you’re advised to hide, like some shameful secret, if by some miracle you make it as a professional author.

Because these may be your characters, but the stories we write are fully ours, and research proves these stories actually promote your original material without taking anything away from you. More and more shows are basically made successful by fandom involvement, and you - a tiny group of West Coast people - keep getting rich because of our unconditional and unselfish love for your content. Fanfiction, just like metas, fanart, fansubs, fanvids and other ways fans choose to express their love, is first and foremost free marketing and free publicity - not to mention a prime example of creativity, free speech and critical thinking. Isn’t it time we had this conversation instead? 

Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve: Confessions of a First-Timer

Give me the strength not just to wait patiently, because I know I can do that, but to stay positive in times of uncertainty. Let me love not too hard or too fast even though there is a lot to give. I need freedom to escape from this prison-like environment where stress, worry, and negativity are always-present factors; and the knowledge and wisdom to prevent myself from being too naive and making too many mistakes. But I have grown and improved so much, worked my hardest to be even better for all of us; How many people notice them or will stay with me long enough to see them more, I cannot say. But what I can say is this: I do love you and care a lot more than I ever knew I would. And I do trust you, even though at times I get a little curious and scared. I do understand you; but being pulled apart and stuck here for so long, please me hear from you again. Thinking back to your first anything should help you to understand me, too. You said you love me, and I can only believe that this is true; when I say it, you can bet that it is, too. I’m not sure what you’ve heard from other people, but sometimes their opinions don’t matter since it’s not their relationship and they don’t have such emotions attached. No matter what they may have said – we’re different people, yes perhaps that comes with age and experience. But that doesn’t mean they overshadow what we share in common; after all, we can teach each other and learn from both. If love and care are still there, why shouldn’t other things fall into place? There’s no need to blame another for not being 100% perfect all the time. No one is; in fact, a relationship is oftentimes just that: two imperfect people existing together and loving each other. Sometimes there is beauty in that, adding depth to a person, character even – like covering cracks with gold like the Japanese did with handmade pots. I think back to the beginning often, the budding of our relationship learning new things about life – that we should treasure moments, not things – and learning new things about you – like your love of cheesy French fries and poetry, of night markets and crab rolls on the pier, of trying new things like soba noodles and okonomiyaki paired with tea and sake – and new things about myself, as you told me, and I loved a lot of the same things you did, too. As new and exciting, I would be so glad to create more memories that can last even longer, even if it means this time reaching out more to you. But for now I will wait until I have your permission, and hope for the best – that we can create something even better, to be even stronger and calmer and happier together than ever before.

Surprised to see that many fans are of the vein that Kara was insensitive to the fact that Alex needs her, but I’m kind of like… of course she doesn’t know she needs her.

Alex doesn’t tell her. The closest she comes is when she brings up that she was supposed to help in finding her father. Hell, that’s a loss that, within the conversation, she blames Kara for. (Not exactly the best way to go about telling someone that you want them to stick around- telling them that they are the reason for the bad parts of your life.)

The only time that Alex conveys that Kara isn’t a burden, that she’s needed, is when she’s going to lose her to the Black Mercy. But Kara lost her planet again and then her aunt. I don’t think that that revelation, that Alex might be better off with her around, was gonna stick after all that. Of course, she reassured everyone that the only reason her perfect dream was of Krypton was because she’d been feeling down in her current life. That she would choose Earth, something that I don’t think anyone could reasonably ask her to do.

Someone on here said that they didn’t buy that Kara doesn’t think Alex is better off without her, that it was an excuse so she could fly off with Clark. But look at what Kara thought some of her last words were going to be:

“I want you to have a good life. I want you to find love and be happy. I want you to do all the things that being my sister kept you from doing.”

Kara really truly believes that she’s keeping Alex from having a good life. And Alex kinda sorta regularly reaffirms this belief.

I think the issue is that some people are reading Kara as selfish for not picking up on Alex’s needs, but Kara’s face-value nature, inability to tell when Alex is lying, and hero worship that views Alex as too strong to need anything, blinds her to Alex’s more closed-off nature. (Also, we all should know Kara has only one selfish bone in her body and that’s reserved for food hogging.)

Ultimately, I think that the search for Alex’s father is a cover for Alex, so she doesn’t have to admit that she needs Kara for emotional reasons and not practical ones. Alex is likely unaccustomed to asking for things, forced into a caretaker role, so it’s a lot easier to list off the things she’s sacrificed for Kara to guilt her into staying than to ask Kara to stay because she wants her to.

It feels kind of like a co-dependent relationship, where one person needs the other and the other needs to be needed. But Kara thinks she’s the only one who benefits, and Alex isn’t emotionally aware enough to know that she likes being needed. (Still workshopping this idea…)

In the end I don’t think either of them is the bad guy, but I also think Alex said some hurtful and not fully truthful things to avoid being fully vulnerable. For instance, as we saw in the flash backs, Alex didn’t become a DEO agent because of Kara, she became one because she was drowning in her current lifestyle. This is the path she chose. When Supergirl came on, her job entailed protecting her, but she likely performed the same job for her fellow agents. As Alex said before, “protecting you isn’t my actual job”. Also, having Kara help her find her father doesn’t feel quite accurate, because when Alex disappeared in season one to find him, she was fully prepared (and even seemed to want) to do it without Kara.

I don’t think Alex really intended to hurt Kara, but she certainly played dirty, implying that she blames her for her father’s disappearance, that she’s sacrificed everything good in her life for her, and bringing up that, conversely, Clark abandoned her. The last was something that Kara should probably know, and I’m so happy Alex said it, but I wish it wasn’t used to manipulate Kara into staying with Alex. (I don’t mean the word ‘manipulate’ in some villainous abusive way, but the way we all utilize from time to time. More like convincing someone of something by using what you know to your advantage. Not quite clean, but not innately bad.) I wish it was “He didn’t treat you right,” without the addendum, “but I did.” I don’t think the words were meant to be malicious at all, but I do think they hurt Kara.

And finally, if Kara knew that Alex would wanted her to stick around, she wouldn’t have even brought the idea up. This is evidenced by the simple fact that as soon as Alex conveyed that she didn’t want her to leave, she didn’t leave.

tl;dr Kara does think that Alex would be better off without her, but Alex can’t properly express when she needs things, so she won’t really tell Kara that she’s wrong. She, instead, pretty much guilted her into staying by saying that Kara owes her for everything that she has sacrificed. It did the trick for now, but I think their relationship has some major things to work out (and I have full faith that these things will be explored).

anonymous asked:

Hey, so I've been pretty lost with my sexuality lately. For a while I thought I was bi but then I felt like I really only like girls. But I'm just confused because I feel like part of me maybe thinks I'm bi because it would be easier to tell people that, rather then saying I only like girls. My main struggle with it I think is my family, their all religious and against gay people. I feel like in my mind telling them I'm bi would possibly go better, I dunno. It's all so much and it just sucks 😢

mm i don’t think your family would approve of bisexuality any more than of homosexuality, if you’re bi they might just fixate on the chance that you’re into guys and tell you that liking girls is a phase, and that you’ll eventually realize you’re straight and marry a man

but so far as i understand, bisexuality isn’t always an even 50/50 split when it comes to attraction - you might be the kinda bi who’s primarily attracted to girls with the occasional dude, idk. but it’s also alright to realize that your sexuality has either changed and shifted to homosexuality, or that you labelled yourself as bisexual because it was easier to accept yourself as that because you could still reason that you might still fall for a guy and have your family approve of you

sexuality changes, your opinion of yourself changes, and sometimes you just grow as a person and who you’ve perceived yourself as, changes. that’s perfectly natural, that’s perfectly okay, and in no way does that invalidate what you want to label/identify yourself as. so long as you’re happy, all’s cool and nice. you don’t have to like boys, compulsory heterosexuality is confusing and a plague to society, but if you feel like you have to assign your male crushes, hand-pick them, and that you no longer feel(or never have felt) that striking surprise of ‘oh my god he’s so handsome i want to die’ feeling about a guy, then chances are you aren’t attracted to men. 

also, you don’t necessarily have to tell your family about your sexuality, especially if they’re religiously homophobic and you still live under their roof. you have all the time in the world to be out and proud, but first you gotta take care of yourself and make sure you’re not subjecting yourself to being forced to live in a home environment where the people who are supposed to love you and be there for you disapprove of who you are and try to change you.

your sexuality is your business before anyone else’s, and i know pretending to be straight can be hard - but i think having to deal with homophobia from your family might be worse than shrugging off the ashy feeling in your mouth when you hear your mom talk about your ‘future husband’ and asking you about boys (but i don’t know, maybe being in the closet is harder for you, in the end it’s your life and i’m just offering some words to help point you in the right direction)

just relax. one day you’ll have your own place, your own support system, your own friends, and you’ll be able to be whoever you want to be, and kiss all the girls you want

ew.com
'Avengers: Age of Ultron': Chris Evans wonders … Is Captain America a virgin?

EW: I feel like Cap is the noblest of all the characters. He’s the only one who knows what it’s like to be powerless. To be on the other side of fear.

Evans: He does have a healthy understanding of what it feels like to be powerless, to be the victim. But he also has a healthy understanding of what it is to be a soldier. I think anytime you meet anyone that’s been in the military, when you fight alongside someone they become a brother. I think in a weird way he looks at his Avengers as his family at this point.

EW: Is family what he wants? A bond with a fellow fighter?

Evans: It’s certainly what he wants, but Cap puts what he wants last. That’s his M.O. And I think for so long he just refuses to bleed on people. So it’s hard to explore a guy who doesn’t want to make waves with his own personal conflict. He’s always trying to help the greater good.

EW: Does that ever change?

Evans: That’s why it’s kind of exciting to look forward to Cap 3. I think we really scratched the surface on something great and I think there’s just so much to explore. Not just with the evolution of myself and [Anthony] Mackie’s character, but the reconnection with Bucky, and ultimately a relationship with a woman.

THANK YOU SO MUCH

Thank all of you so much for 30k followers. Seriously that is amazing I don’t even believe it. I’m super glad I blew off that paper all those years ago to make this amazing blog. Every single one of you is amazing. My entire team of admins are amazing. This fandom is amazing(97% of the time). 30k is an unbelievable number and you all make that happen. This blog is nothing without you. 

To thank you all properly, we have something in the works so look forward to that whenever it happens. In the meantime, happy reading. 

Julianna

My book was accepted for the proposal stage of publishing

And they ask: how can you promote your book?

And I was like: “er…I have a tumblr blog with 18000 followers? At least some of them might buy it and read it…?”

okay i know saying this a lot of malec shippers will hate me probably, but i feel like i should say it. Don’t you guys are feeling like Alec’s character is reduced to his relationship with Magnus?, like ‘alec only smiles with magnus’ like what the fuck, alec could smile with his sister, with his parabatai with his family??? i don’t even like alec but i just feel he deserve MORE, and not only i’m saying this to the tv show, to the fans too, why the 80% of the posts of alec mention magnus or malec. I just think a character is more than their relationship and i’m just feeling like i should say something about it, because yes i understand your happiness and yes may be cute, but not at all. Will you like to people think you only smile when you are in love ?¿ like you can be in love with your life and smile, and i feel like alec could totally smile to Izzy, Jace, Max or some cute kitty and not ‘Just only when is with Magnus’.