Antagonistic (a snowbaz au)
I’m running late. This is a fairly common occurrence. I’m the sort of person that everything has a knack for going wrong around. Ebb is used to it though, so luckily I know I’m not going to lose my job because I woke up this morning a half hour later than I’m supposed too. After throwing on the first pieces of clothing I find (my ex-girlfriend’s purple lacrosse sweatshirt and some ripped jeans) I rush out of my apartment and into the elevator. I haven’t even brushed my hair, or eaten breakfast, or even glanced in the mirror this morning so of course it’s the morning when my perfect, snobbish neighbor decides to make an appearance.
“Snow,” he nods his head as I rush into the elevator, my messenger bag catching on the doors and almost getting caught as they close. His long black hair is combed back neatly, his perfect eyebrows arched at my bedraggled, somewhat noisy appearance. Merlin, I hate him. Even his jeans look better on him than a normal person, clean and well-fitted.
“Baz” I pant back, trying to catch my breath from my sprint to the elevator. Fuck, I need to start eating healthier. But Ebb’s cherry scones are so good, and I can eat as many as I want. Perks of working at the cafe. The elevator starts moving.
“How’s the girlfriend?”
“Crowley, Snow. I’m just trying to have a polite conversation.”
Baz hates my girlfriend (ex-girlfriend). And he hates smalltalk. He already knows we broke up, he would have heard her last week when she ended it and is just trying to rub it in. (Baz is always complaining about the thin walls between our apartments. But I’m not the one playing violin at ridiculous o’clock in the morning so he has nothing to complain about).
“For fuck’s sake Baz I’m already having a shitty day. I’m late for work and I don’t need to have to deal with you along with that-”
As I say that the elevator groans and shudders to a stop. I glance at the screen. It’s stuck at a three on the screen. The doors don’t open.
“Just my luck,” Baz mutters.
I don’t spare him a glance, rushing to the doors and pressing the floor button rapidly. The elevator doesn’t respond. No no no no no. This cannot be happening.
“Aleister, Snow, maybe if you try pressing the button one more time it’ll work?” I glance up from where I’ve collapsed onto the floor in front of the rows of buttons. Baz is leaned against the elevator wall, arms crossed, smirking. Merlin I hate him.
“The elevator’s not going anywhere Snow,” he continues. He pulls out his phone from his jeans pocket.
“No but I’m going to be late!”
He scoffs. “To that stupid job at Ebb’s cafe? Good riddance.”
“Fuck off Baz!”
“Trust me if I could I would- shit”
“What?” I get up at his pause and move over to try and see the phone he’s glaring at.
He pushes me away as I lean closer.
“I don’t have service which means I can’t call anyone to fix this mess. Do you have your phone?”
“Of course.” I reach into my bag to grab it.
“Crowley Snow just get the fucking phone I have places to be as well.”
“I don’t have it”
“What” he stares at me, eyes narrowing.
“I-” I think back to this morning, me running around the apartment in a maddening hopeless race to be on time.
“I woke up late this morning, I forgot it”
He swears again when I say that.
“Look it’s not like I want to be stuck here with you either!” I start.
“No Snow! Do you realize that it could be fucking hours before old Davy or Miss Possibelf on third floor realize the elevator isn’t working?”
“Maybe what? Huh?” Baz is totally flipping out. I mean, he always hates me but he’s never lost his cool like this.
He’s pacing the length of the elevator and running his long fingers through his hair. Fuck, I’m going to be so late. Ebb is gonna hate me. Also I’m probably not going to get any sour cherry scones. My stomach growls and Baz stops his pacing and turns to glare at me.
“What? I didn’t eat breakfast.”
“I was running late!”
He runs his hands through his hair.
“Crowley Snow how thick can you be? You’re seriously concerned about breakfast right now? We are stuck. In an elevator. That’s maybe, maybe ten feet square. And you’re concerned about breakfast.”
A thought occurs to me.
“Baz? Are you- Are you claustrophobic?”
“Shut the fuck up Snow.” He sighs and leans against the wall again. At least he’s not pacing. But Merlin, Baz, perfect, put-together, prissy Baz is claustrophobic. I don’t know what to do with that information.
It’s not that I’m claustrophobic exactly. I just can’t be stuck in here with him. My messy, loud, frustratingly adorable neighbor. And now he’s practically giving me heart eyes because he thinks I hate tight spaces. I need to do something to get him to stop.
He opens his mouth to say something, probably something stupid cause it’s Snow.
“Is it physically possible for you to be quiet for even one minute Snow?”
His face turns red.
“Well what if I don’t want to be quiet?”
“Really Snow? I’m stuck in an elevator with you the least you could do is shut up.”
“Well if you weren’t so fucking-” he pauses, hands floundering, searching for words.
I’ve always found this interesting. Snow gesticulates more than he speaks. If he tried to say what he meant all the time he’s flounder for days before he got the words out of his mouth.
“Fucking what? Snow? If I weren’t so fucking what?”
I smirk and lean back. “Wow, that’s a big word. Penny teach you that one?”
He glares at me. I know I’m mean. I’ve heard Penny talk to him about speech therapy before. But it’s so entertaining to rile him up, watch him get messier and bigger and greater. He comes alive when he has someone to fight. It’s beautiful to watch.
“If you weren’t so antagonistic,” he says again, “then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be stuck in here with you.”
“Yeah, or if you weren’t so annoying,” I mutter.
“What do you have against me anyway?” he asks. His eyes trail away from mine towards the floor.
Just then a knock on the metal doors interrupt us.
“This is Fire and Rescue! You guys okay in there? We got a call about some disturbance in the elevator? People complaining about the noise?”
I keep my eyes on Simon as he perks up and rushes to the doors.
“Yeah!” he yells. “We’re, uh, we’re stuck. The doors won’t open and the elevator isn’t, uh, moving, i think.”
“You think?” I mutter. He glares at me.
“It must be sweet Simon and that Basilton in there, always fighting those two,” I hear Miss Possibelf whisper. Of course she called. She’s always getting up in other people’s business.
“Alright,” the fireman says against the doors. “How many of you are there?”
“Uh, two” Simon replies. He glances at me.
“Okay, just try not to kill each other til we get you out alright?” The fireman bangs on the door once. “It shouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes.”
“No promises.” I reply, too softly for the fireman to hear.
I hear a creak and a groan as the fireman starts to do whatever he’s doing to get us out. We’ve already been in here for half an hour, according to my phone.
“What is wrong with you?” Simon turns to me, eyes blazing.
“Wrong with me?”
“Yeah. What the fuck is your problem with me? You’ve been like this ever since I moved in here and I am sick of it. I’ve given you no reason to hate me but you do.”
Oh, Simon, I think, if only I could hate you.
“I mean, sure I’m not the best neighbor. And yeah I’m a mess. But I’m not- I’m not fucking playing the fucking violin at three in the morning. And I’m not eavesdropping on private conversations. Oh, and yeah Agatha broke up with me so just rub that in my face while you’re at it. Happy? But I mean, if either of us has a reason to hate each other I think it should be me and I don’t hate you. You’re too-” He pauses, sucking in air. I don’t think he’s ever said so much at once.
“Too what?” I ask quietly.
“Perfect, Baz. You’re too bloody perfect.”
And then I’m moving forward and my hands find his cheeks and my mouth finds his lips and I have him up against the doors of the elevator and I can’t think because why is he so beautiful and messy and glorious. I should not be doing this, but I can’t help it anymore. I can’t fucking help it anymore. And then Simon moves his hands into my hair and he’s pushing his mouth back against mine and it’s so, so good.
I pull back, gasping, and press my forehead against his, looking at his blue, blue eyes. “I don’t hate you Simon. I wish I could, because you’re- fuck you’re bloody annoying and messy and loud, but it’s beautiful Simon. So yeah, I don’t hate you. I- I love you Simon.”
His eyes grow wide, and I can feel my cheeks turning red before he’s pulling me back into him, kissing me hard. I lean into him, my eyes closing as I melt into the sensations. I’m kissing Simon Snow.
And then there’s a loud clunk and the doors fall open. In a rush we both topple out, a tangle of limbs sprawled on the floor. Miss Possibelf, Old Davy, and the fireman stare down at us in surprise. Simon grins his gorgeous grin and blushes a glorious shade of red. I smirk from where I’m settled on top of us and look at the fireman.
“I believe we owe you a thank you for getting us out of there. Even if it took ridiculously too long.”
The fireman just blinks down at me, sprawled over Simon, whose lips are obviously swollen from kissing.
“But you were- the yelling? What?”
“Ah, yes, we’ve figured that out. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have places to be.” I pull Simon up and tug him forwards, dragging him up the stairs and towards my apartment.
I hear quiet murmurs from the people we’ve left behind, specifically the fireman, who shakes his head and mutters, “What the fuck.”