i don't think this one turned out very well

can’t do a read more cause im on my phone but uhhh

tw discussion of family, sexual abuse, racism/fetishization, ummm i think that’s mostly it

i dont have the energy to go into a long rant ((EDIT: well….. this clearly turned out longer than expected)) cause i had three different heart-to-hearts tonight but. turns out my step dad (the one who sexually abused me? yes the very same one) has watched every single lecture that jordan peterson, the far right anti-sjw psychology professor at university of toronto, has posted online. he wanted to talk to me about them, and asked what it was like to be in one of his lectures. i want to fucking die

the other heart to heart was with my step-sisters (my biological dad’s step-kids) about all the narcissistic and offensive shit my biological dad does. i told them that he doesnt talk about himself nonstop because he actually loves himself, but because he hates himself. in fact he doesnt love anybody. which is unfortunate for both me and their mother. it’s also why he verbally and emotionally abused me, and cheated on all his other girlfriends. me and my stepsisters also talked about how their mom is way more meek when he’s around and i was like yeah well i bet he encourages it because it fits his asian house wife fantasy… like you should see the fucked up porn in his browsing history… this convo lasted about 4 hours and we were all just sitting on the kitchen floor

and finally i had a 2 hour conversation in the car with my mom where we cried bc she said she regretted getting together with my stepdad cause she didnt realize he would be bad for me. she did it originally bc she wanted me to have a bigger family than just her after she divorced my dad, in case she died and i would be alone. ive decided to try to reconcile with my stepdad in the spirit of this. i just have to like. figure out how to ignore that he thinks sjws are a plague on humanity. and that he talks about nothing else. and that his daughter is starting to say homophobic shit. i love my little sister but like. anyway

tomorrow i plan to have lunch with my dad and subtly bring up the issues raised by my stepsisters. they’re worried about their mom and they want him to stop imitating asian accents. i have literally told him over two dozen times to stop, in every way imaginable, but he continues. he thinks im being a sensitive sjw because he doesn’t believe me when i say that they’ve asked me to keep telling him. i dont know how else i can get it across to him???? he actually thinks he’s so progressive though, and i think that’s the problem. also my sisters’ boyfriends hate him but there isn’t much i can do about that now. and he’s always embarrassing himself at the filipino community gatherings because he like… thinks he’s one of them? hes oblivious, and is constantly an intruder.

also my step sisters literally clean up after his every mess like he’s an infant. they pick up his garbage as soon as he gets up and he gets angry at them for cleaning his shit off the table. he called home yesterday and made them print off hundreds of little stickers for his election while he was away at work cause he printed off the wrong ones. like these girls aren’t your servants!! and then he asked to borrow their mom’s car, and when they asked if he would drive them to work on his way to his campaign, he complained to me in the angriest, pissiest of voices that everyone was making demands on him. like………. i want him to just fucking……….

anyway this all sounds like a bad night but ive gotten even closer with my sisters (we decided even if our parents break up we’re gonna stay friends) and sorted some stuff out with my mom, who is the most important person in the world to me. i mean im extra pissed tonight that she got together with my step dad after he sexually abused me but what can you do.

this probably sounds really robotic and weird i just? lots of stuff has happened tonight and i needed to get it out.

likes are always really appreciated if you read the whole thing!! ❤❤ i hope u have a good day and talk to people u love

oh ps. i also found out that the like twelve times i had a conversation with my dad this year while i was away at school, was actually my step sister and stepmom suggesting he contact me. he loves bragging about the fact that i go to university of toronto but he doesn’t want to talk to me. nbd in the grand scheme of things bc i don’t care if he calls me cause the only thing he talks about is himself but yeah. and also he lied to them that my mom cheated on him when actually he cheated on her (why would your new gf’s kids need to know this in the first place??). and he told them the reason i admire and still talk to his ex-gf was that she was so successful and i didnt have a successful female role model to look up to (apparently my mom doesnt count, and i can’t admire my other mother figures for their own fucking merits).

my dad also said my mom “probably cries just to hear the kind of world i get to live in… if she understands at all.” like uh considering she’s the parent i talk to daily? i think she gets it? and i was like “why would she cry?” and he was like “you’re living the life she wishes she could lead”…… like actually no im living the life YOU wish you could lead. she always just wanted a big happy family and you fucking ruined that for her haha. but NICE PROJECTING THERE BUDDY. not to mention the condescension. anyway that last bit happened like a month ago but im still mad lol

Attack On Titan {Sentence Starters}
  • "So I’ll win, no matter what. I’ll live, no matter what."
  • "People, who can’t throw something important away, can never hope to change anything."
  • "If you win, you live. If you lose, you die."
  • "Only the victors are allowed to live. This world is merciless like that."
  • "People are crazy for believing that these walls will protect us forever."
  • "Surely you understand that sometimes a single death can save many lives."
  • "I am stronger than you all. Very strong!"
  • "I don’t want to die inside these walls without knowing what’s out there!"
  • "I am telling you to calm down. Idiots."
  • "This is just my opinion, but when it comes to teaching somebody discipline I believe pain is the most effective way."
  • "Then, to me, you're a bad person, right?"
  • "I'm going to kill them all. Every fucking one of them!"
  • "We’re going to explore the outside world someday, right?"
  • "Nothing can surpass a human's curiosity."
  • "If you don't want to die, think."
  • "Look around, at all these big-ass trees."
  • "If it means mankind will live on, I don't mind being called a murderer."
  • "Was it the one there with the nice ass?"
  • "I hope you won't get mad when I say this, but you aren't a strong person."
  • "Don't get me wrong. It's not like I trust him."
  • "This world is merciless. And it's also very beautiful."
  • "After the fact, it’s easy to say 'We should’ve done something else.' However, no one knows how things will turn out."
  • "You have done a great deal and you will continue to do so."
  • "A good person? Well, I don't really like that term."
  • "There's nothing wrong with valuing your own life."
  • "Once you've given into your fears, you will never be able to fight them again!"
  • "You can't hope for a horror story with a happy ending!"
  • "You don't have to worry for me. I am not a kid anymore."
  • "I don't want to lose what little family i have left!"

ooc. I really thought I was going to be back, but as it turns out I think my laptop may very well be about to kick the bucket. It’s at that point that it won’t even come on without the charger being plugged in and even then it’s a hit or miss. It’s also like broken at the bottom. I don’t know when I’ll be able to get a new one, but I swear to all that’s holy I’ll be back before like mid-June somehow. I may completely reboot the blog though. But if I can get my laptop to cooperate, then I may be back before mid-June. We’ll see.


Making Sabo’s Goggles!  (Easy Cosplay Tutorial!)

You will need:

  • White Elastic
  • Light Blue Craft Foam
  • Dark Blue Plastic - I cut a folder up, but any sort of hard shiny plastic is fine! 
  • D-Rings (And white spray paint)
  • White Foam Board (or Thick Craft Foam, if it exists)
  • Super Glue
  • And needle and some white thread

The general idea, which is probably not very clear in these pictures, is to cut out 4 pieces of white foam board. Two pieces of foam board will be stuck together, sandwiching a piece of plastic and the white elastic connectors between them.

It turned out pretty well! Gathering the materials took way longer than actually assembling the damn thing. Cutting the foam board is pretty tricky, but it makes a nice thick frame.

Black Wing Armor - Erza Scarlet - fanart. After almost 3 weeks of no motivation to draw whatsoever, I decided to at least try and this happened. This one is no doubt my favourite painting of Erza I’ve made. 

Made by jiyu-koya. Please do not repost, do not remove source.

Just imagine
  • * Dan and Phil are walking underneath the cherry blossoms and they're falling all around them, their hands brushing eachother often but not holding hands, because they promised they wouldn't show affection in public, due to Dans wish ( admit it, it'd be Dan.)
  • Dan: Phil?
  • Phil: yeah, Dan?
  • Dan: do you really love me?
  • * they both stop in their tracks, Phil walks to stand in front of Dan*
  • Phil: of course I do Dan. In fact, I was going to wait but now I can't.
  • * Phil gets on one knee, more cherry blossoms falling around them*
  • Phil: Dan I know you don't think your worth very much, but to me your brilliant and kind and beautiful and well...
  • Dan: What... Oh, Phil.
  • Phil: *pulls out a silver wedding band* I don't know if you'd wear it as a ring or put it on a chain.., or-or at all but, Dan I want to spend the rest of my life with you. W-will you, Dan will you marry me?
  • Dan: * speechless*
  • Phil: this was a bad idea *stands up and turns to walk off*
  • Dan: * grabs phils arm* come back here you twat * kisses Phil* yes I will marry you, Phil.
  • Phil: we don't have to tell anyone, if you don't-
  • Dan: I do, I want them to know.

anonymous asked:

I think it's worth noting that SPN probably had the first 5 seasons written out well beforehand. (Considering Chuck's books only went until the end of the Apocalypse.) The fanbase's size was unexpected (maybe) but you don't turn down a renewal, so the latter seasons are one-shot seasons that generally stand alone, without a lot of entwining themes. It's easy to refer back to prior seasons for certain details or ideas, but it's not entirely cohesive. Just my presumption, though.

^^^Yes yes yes. 1-5 were very thought through in advanced. I mean, what do you do when you realize that your fanbase is so big and you could actually get a lot of success off of this, after your main plot has ended?? 

If I were them, I’d have taken the opportunity too, shit bro. They have to think of their plots season by season now, and not everyone will like it obviously, but that’s too bad, because they’re trying. People will continue to say it’s about money, but really? Look at Jensen, Jared, and Misha. Do you really think they’re staying for money? Especially Misha. 

They’re definitely doing this for us. I have no doubt in my mind that they are doing it for us—even the writers are doing it for us! They are so interactive with us. They are constantly doing things to get us involved and they are seriously some of the nicest people in the world. 

Ridiculous plot or not, I will stand by this show because they have some of the most supportive and caring members on their team I have ever had the pleasure of being introduced to.