i don't think i could have another dog

Overheard at a Party
  • "That cake was made for the dog."
  • "No, no, honey don't drink that. It's for grown-ups!"
  • "Did you see that dress? Did my shower curtain have children?"
  • "Guess who's drunk again."
  • "I just got another text..."
  • "Who parked on the lawn?"
  • "What happened to the case of wine?"
  • "I forgot to pick up the cake."
  • "Is that toddler not wearing pants?"
  • "Someone had to be the first in the pool."
  • "Keg's empty."
  • "I could have made a better cake than this."
  • "Where are the meatballs?"
  • "Are you sober enough to drive?"
  • "Stop staring. They'll think you're creepy."
  • "Just keep in mind I don't have renter's insurance."
  • "Today is all about me."
  • "You came wearing THAT?"
  • "That tie is awful. Had to have been a present from someone who hated 'em."
  • "This was a costume party. It clearly said so on the invitation."
  • "You might want to replace the towels in the bathroom."
  • "So this is a sleep wherever you fall kind of party?"
  • "I have a hard time with small talk."
  • "Who brought the fruit salad?"
  • "Do you have anything that's gluten free?"
  • "This is a party that's taking place in a backyard and you're complaining about dirt?"
  • "Maybe heels were a bad idea."
  • "Who's available here?"
  • "A disco ball? Really?"
  • "So, where's the pony rides?"
  • "Someone locked the bathroom door."
  • "I don't want to alarm you but we're running low on wine."