really liked learning more about Yoongi. You liked that he didn’t need to
whisper all of his deepest secrets into your ear because you felt like you
could see into his heart- see who he truly was behind all of the fronts he put
up in front of others.
My birthday is April 28th. I don't maintain a blog on Tumblr though. I created an account just to follow the fabulous fellow Everlarkers here. If you can, I will take anything I can get but if possible, some smut please. *bambi eyes*
Happy birthday! Here is a little something special cooked up just for you by @katnissdoesnotfollowback. Have a wonderful day and enjoy the read!
Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
Happiest of birthdays to
you! I hope you enjoy what I’ve cooked up for you and it adds to to your
celebration. Thanks to @peetabreadgirl for prereading this sucker. <3
“I’m gonna be late. Please tell me you made some
hot water for tea this morning,” Peeta says to his brother as he rushes into
the kitchen and tosses his bag on the counter.
“Gotta move faster, old man,” Ryen teases, but
lowers his newspaper enough to point to the kettle sitting on a silicone
“You’re two years older than me,” Peeta
grumbles, not bothering to look at what he is sure is a self-satisfied smirk on
his brother’s face, choosing instead to focus on pouring the water into his
travel mug and dropping in a tea bag to steep.
“Yes, but nothing good happens after
twenty-five. They expect you to be an adult after twenty-five. For real,” Ryen
complains and Peeta curses as the hot liquid splashes over the edges onto his
hand when he moves it a little too forcefully towards the spot where he left
“Graham would disagree,” he mutters
sarcastically as he shakes the tea droplets off his hand and wipes the residue
on a towel. His skin stings, but he doesn’t have time to deal with it.
“Graham is an idiot,” Ryen returns, but he
doesn’t say the rest of what they’re both thinking.
“So,” Felix sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “What you’re telling me is that you used yourself as a guinea pig, correct?”
Of all the ridiculous things he’d ever heard in his entire life, this one certainly took the cake…
“Well, when you put it that way,” Dominique laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He yelped, losing his footing long enough to half-trip into the parasol he was determined to set up for Bridgette’s arrival.
“It sounds sort of silly!” He continued in a high-pitched, breathless voice as he righted himself.
“Silly is not the word I’d use.”
Stupid? Dangerous? Pointless? All of the above? That seemed more like it.
“And pray tell, what would you gain from drinking an elixir meant to keep vampires safe from the sunlight? Considering the fact that you’re very much human.”
Dom blinked, brows knitting together as he contemplated. “Huh.”
“I didn’t really think of that.”
Felix’s brow arched, teeth digging into his bottom lip in an effort to keep from laughing at Dom’s sorry expression.
“Of course you didn’t,” Felix said. It wasn’t hard to imagine Dom working through the night to come up with a solution to fix his —Felix’s lip twitched down to one side— girlfriend’s skin problem. Even without knowing him all that well, it seemed like a very Dominique thing to do.
However, it might be smarter -not to mention, safer- to test it on someone other than himself.
“It’s not like I’d just test it out on Bri,” said Dom, leaning forward while sitting back on his knees across from him. The sunlight glistened off his bare skin in a way that was difficult to ignore and kind of hurt Felix’s eyes.
He squinted first at his phone ( no text message from Bri) then at Dom. “I would hope not, but you’d fare better trying your experiments on any other local blood sucker you know.”
“The only other blood sucker I know is you.” The boy’s hands clamped over his mouth with a gasp as soon as the words passed his lips. Even with the distance between them, Felix could see Dom’s pupils shrinking smaller and smaller until Felix couldn’t tell where the black of his pupils ended and the coffee hue of his eyes began.
He looked so cartoonishly mortified, Felix could barely find the restraint to keep from laughing.
“Oh? Am I really? My my, don’t I feel special.” He grinned, flashing a fang or two.
A blush blossomed across Dom’s face, lips quivering as he searched for an excuse. “That’s not what I meant! I mean, I don’t see you as just some blood sucker!”
Would it be wrong of him to put the boy under a trance? Just long enough to assure that wasn’t what he meant, of course.
“Felix, y-your eyes are really …”
An electric wave shot through Felix’s spine, his eyes locked with Dom’s.
“They’re really what, Dominique ?”
“Really…. blue… really… beautiful.” Dom suddenly straightened up like he’d been shocked. The glazed over look in his eyes gone quicker than Felix expected. He was stunned.
“Like I was saying, I don’t think you’re a blood sucker, but you’re like … a super cool dude! Bri’s always talking about all the awesome vampire things you can do. She’s thinks you’re really brave, and smart— and, and… uh, she thinks your hair’s fancy. It kind of is.”
Now it was Felix that felt a little warmer in the face than he was comfortable with. He coughed, watching as Dom bounced back from being under what should have been a full-on daze like it hadn’t affected him in the first place.
Wait, did he say he thought his hair was cool or…?
He needed to change the subject and quickly.
“The elixir, what did you make it out of?” He asked hoarsely, picking imaginary lint off his sweater in the hope to regain his composure.
Dom didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. “Well, I checked out all these books at the library, right? Double checked some herbs with Mrs. Agreste, and we decided on a base of white oak, topped it off wild black mushroom oil, bee pollen, clary sage, and holy hazel. Oh! And mint! For flavor and for oral health. Gotta keep those fangs fresh.”
“Please stop pointing your fingers at me.”
“They’re finger guns.”
“Please stop pointing your finger guns at me.”
Waves crashed against sand, seagulls calling to each other in the blue heavens above. The sun was high, and judging by the color of some of the other beach-goers’ faces, it was as strong as ever.
Felix let his mind wander …
Both boy’s heads whipped around so fast Dom swore he cracked something.
“Ow,” he muttered, standing.
Bridgette, ever a vision in sunflower yellow, crossed the sand in a giddy rush. Her matching beach hat and umbrella shielding what her swimsuit cover-up couldn’t.
“Wow,” Dom breathed, a smile stretching across his face.
The type of trance Bridgette put people under had very little to do with her new abilities.
With all the get-up slowing her down, Felix gave it another minute or two before she reached their little space away from the water.
“Do you think we should meet her halfway?”
Dom’s brows creased. “It’s burning out, Felix.”
“Do you have more of that elixir on you?”
If he looked confused before, he looked positively dumbfounded now. “Yeah?”
Felix nodded to himself, pulling up to his full height before peeling his sweater off. “May I?”
Dom stared at him with a sort of awe that made Felix feel as self-conscious as he did self-assured, which made for a very strange mix of emotions.
With another start, Dom rummaged through his moss-green knapsack until his hand closed around a glass vial shaped like a stake.
“How clever.” Felix said simply.
With a half-shrug, Dom handed the concoction over. “Are you sure about this?”
“You need a proper test subject; your local blood sucker, which I happen to be.” Felix said, popping open the vial before saying a silent prayer and downing it.
“Oh?” Dom sounded nervous.
“It is really minty.” Felix handed the empty glass back to Dom, just in time to watch Bridgette stop dead in her track a few feet away from them.
“How impressed by you is she going to be if I go running passed her and into the water right now?” Felix asked, and for the first time that Dominique could remember, he witnessed the vampire smiling. Not smirking. Not scowling. It was a real, honest-to-goodness smile! Touching the ice-blue of his eyes until the resembled the clear, open sky above them.
“Impressed by me?” Dominique heard himself say.
“You heard me, you are the brilliant mind behind this potion, aren’t you? Race you to the water, Dom.” Felix chuckled, but right before he took a step out from under the safety of the parsol he glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, if by any chance I burn to a crisp doing this, I can’t say my mom won’t try to sue or kill you. Sorry.”
And with a wink, Felix made a laughing dash passed a screaming Bridgette and straight towards the water.
After the initial shock wore off, Dom wasted no time in going after him.
calling it rn, my smol son, heart of gold, beautiful lil angel prince, is the murderer. hear me out, hear me out:
this would be extremely smart storytelling if the writers made OUR NARRATOR the killer. he’s obviously designed to be the fan favorite, he’s seemingly uninvolved but listen
1) no albi (which was glossed over to tell another plot and made to be unimportant… but we still have no idea what he was doing that day. archie was with cradle robber, betty was with toni morrison (iconic) ronnie was in new york, etc.)
2) following the story closely, so he can write his story OR so he can monitor what’s going on in the investigation and try to control what gets discovered
3) his relationship with jason blossom hasn’t been talked about AT ALL. he went to school with the guy, he had to have at least one interaction with him. (archie had the whole jersey debacle which showed the viewers that he was set to become the new jason, betty had polly and jason, etc. so the characters who knew him have sorta had a run down with how their storylines intersected with his death, but jug is entirely uninvolved and therefore meant to be unbiased)
4) jug being dragged into the station was very important. we’re supposed to think it’s ridiculous that he was blamed with only circumstantial evidence and feel even more convinced that it wasn’t him, based on the way he reacted and how everyone sprung to his defense. then later, the whole scene is put to the side in favor of bughead, jarchie, and his dad. therefore he’s entirely off of our radar as a murderer.
5) he’s being made into so many other things, a boyfriend, a best friend, a son, all reflecting on him positively. the shy, attentive, caring side with betty (obviously the sweetest, intelligent, big-eyed girl next door ever. she brings out good things in him and together they’re meant to be the unstoppable crime fighting couple trope) the loyal, caring friend and son. he believes in all of these people so intensely and doesn’t really seem to give up despite growing apart from archie and his dad being represented as a general dead beat. it could all be meant to distract from how he reacts to characters he’s not ride or die for, or just to distract from his thoughts and emotions surrounding only himself.
IM CUTTING MYSELF OFF NOW BC HOLY SHIT I RAMBLED. SORRY.
edit: not calling it so much as lowkey wishing for it bc it would be some rlly clever storytelling and also it would just be super cool to see how the characters around juggie would respond to the situation. and also i always want a main character to be the killer because DO IT. i’m really done now, swear.
A/N:A very orginal fanfiction with a lot of plot that should be taken a 100% seriously because of it’s value for today’s society. Yes, my soul-nerd @parchment-scribbles and me had a conversation about cliches, Mary Sues and out of character writing, and this just happened, enjoy!
The dazzling shine of the car is what first catches your attention, but it’s your curiosity that draws you to it. You feel almost compelled to approach the silent, sleek sports car that rests along the side of the steet, illuminated by the nearby streetlights. You’re certain that you’ve never seen this car before, and that puzzles you to no end. You live on this street, after all, and to your knowledge none of your neighbors had gotten a new car. You didn’t recognize it from anywhere else in town either, and with how small a place Jasper is, you’re sure you’d remember a car as nice as this one if you had ever seen it around.
Why study, when I could write minifics and snippets?
Shiro and Ulaz sprinted around a corner and right in
front of them… a wall.
Smooth, featureless, twentysome feet high, guardrail at the
top of it. Separating the walk they were on – down here – from the walkway they needed to be on – up there
… And Shiro’s jetpack already out of action (that seemed to
happen entirely too often. Should get that looked at).
And (because of
course) the armor’s grappling hook already jammed, due to earlier unfortunate circumstances, which had forced it to
bear too much weight.
“Shit.” Catching his breath, Shiro chuckled at Ulaz, “So. What’s
your jump height?”
“Roughly my own height. More with a running start, but not
enough for this.”
Damn. “Yeah, mine’s only about chest-level.” Was a bit of a
forlorn hope anyway. Galra were big. Big meant heavy, meant unfavorable
strength-to-weight, meant need another plan.
Shiro darted forward to place an experimental hand against
the wall. No dice, someone on Team Empire must have been taking notes. Shiro anticipated
he’d probably just knock himself out before he managed to melt handholds into this.
God, a fucking wall.
They had – Shiro checked his mask display – twelve dovashes, to get where they
needed to be. Which meant that in twelve dovashes, one tick, Shiro and Ulaz
would have officially been thwarted by one of the oldest, simplest defenses in
the history of all civilized society.
“Okay,” he clapped his hands together, pointing them at
Ulaz, “back against the wall.”
“You, boost me up.” Ulaz was pretty strong, he could
probably do it. “Then you,” he double-checked, “wallrun, corner, wallrun.”
Shiro pointed to the wall next to them, then to the corner, then to the adjacent
source of this trouble. “High as you can get, and I’ll reach down and grab
Ulaz stared, “You think it will work?”
“… Sure. Yeah, Matt and I did it at the Garrison, when we
were climbing the outside of the Mess hall. It’s fine.”
Ulaz stood, back planted against the wall, reaching out both
Shiro stepped back. He had maybe three strides worth of a
run-up. Cramped but good enough. He stuck his head around the corner. Still
Yeah, it’ll work fine
Then one deep breath. He nodded to Ulaz, and one step – two
– three – and Ulaz boosted him up hard enough he felt his spine bend.
It carried him just
high enough to close both hands over the top.
Shit, no need to put
me into orbit!
What was that? ‘Thank
you, Shiro, for getting my boney ass up here?’
Hand over hand, he walked himself sideways until he reached
one of the struts, supporting the railing. Then he hiked himself up, got his
elbows over the top, and he was there.
Lying on his stomach, he wrapped his right arm around the support (brief visions of it getting ripped off his elbow made that decision),
then stretched the other down as far as he could.
Ulaz took it at a run, caught the side wall, then caught the
corner, then came across, headed straight for Shiro.
It actually took two tries.
But on the second try (kicking
gravity right in the face), palm met forearm
and held fast.
And then the yank.
Hero momen– oh fuck!
Good thing Shiro had his other arm anchored, because godfuckingdamn, Ulaz was heavy.Odds were not favorable for pulling him up
with one arm (unless he wanted to also throw his own back out) Shiro just grit his teeth
and concentrated on holding on, and
let Ulaz deal with hauling himself up.
Ack – climb faster –
fuck, are you –
You twig – just – hang on –
Shiro owed Matt a(nother) apology.
Ulaz hooked a heel over the edge, then finally he was up. Shiro flopped over like a dead fish, before slowly hauling himself upright. His whole arm was tingling, from aching shoulder all the way
down to his buzzing fingers.
Am I lopsided? I think
I’m lopsided, is one arm longer?
Probably. Come on
Seven dovashes left now. Ulaz pulled Shiro the rest of
the way to standing (by the other arm, thank God).
And they were off.
Much, much later (after they’d made it with an entire dovash
and a half to spare, thankyouverymuch), safely back at the Castle, Ulaz was doing
Shiro the wonderful favor of gently massaging the life back into his shoulder.
Totally uncalled for, to be honest. He hadn’t sprained anything (and if he had, this wouldn’t be right anyway). Sure, it had felt pretty shitty but Ulaz, though heavy, hadn’t actually done any damage. Shiro was fine.
But given the butterfly kisses brushing along the nape of his neck, and given Ulaz’s warm(blessedly warm) hands, fat chance of Shiro mentioning that fact.
notes: wrote this a while back while having emotions about gon and finally got it all edited up today since I had some actual free time! post-series character study. gon freecss, gen/angst (platonic killugon). 1000 words.
easy for Gon to wonder, when his best friend’s so far away, what
happens when he’s not there. Sometimes he wonders why.
I know I haven’t posted anything new in a while, and I have no idea if this even makes sense, or if it’s well written. I just started writing and didn’t stop. I’ve had a lot going on right now, and on top of that, I have had major writers block. Then today, I was laying bed with my music playing, and a song spoke out to me. I needed to write something. So, I wrote this one shot that was inspired by the song Lips of an Angel by Hinder.
PS. As for chapter 8 of the Road Trip. I am almost done with it. I promise it will be up in the next couple of days.
Word Count: 3,043
Sometimes when the universe wants something to happen, it’s
going to happen no matter what—that was Lucas’ exact thought when he saw Riley
waiting for him in his bedroom with a big envelope. He gets taken back to freshmen
year where they both were afraid their relationship had reached the end when
Mrs. Matthews got the job offer in London, and they were both relieved when
Mrs. Matthews decided to stay in New York, yet their senior year is here, and
Riley is holding the big envelope from Cambridge University—everyone knows what
the big envelope means.
The pair talked about what would happen if Riley got
accepted when she applied. They were hopefully for the future of their
relationship, the way they have always been, but the thousands of miles that
would be there is separate them made them a tad bit doubtful.
Dean and Sam (specifically Dean *cough*) have never seen Cas broken wings have they? Because to be frank this is something I am very curious about how this would go down, how they would react or how they wouldnt react and how exactly Cas is feeling about his wings (Like I know his feelings of self doubt etc but the wings are kind of a symbol for a failed angel and I am very curious what his feelings are since I personally am not good with empathising so I cant rly imagine)
This is a very good question and no, I don’t think Dean and Sam are aware of how personal this is to Cas. We already know, and they know, that some of Cas’ powers are dimmed when Cas is not in contact with Heaven - it’s likely they’ve assumed that Cas’ inability to fly is part of that. They may consider it, therefore, an annoyance for all involved, but not something that’s actually hurt Cas in a physical way. Instead, well, we know, because we’ve seen his wings, that this loss hit a lot closer to home than, say, the loss of his time-bending skills.
I may be spectacularly wrong, but I seem to remember that the shadow of Benjamin’s wings is the first time the boys have seen angels’ wings since S8 or something? So this is what they find -
- and this is how Dean looks at Cas looking at the wings.
Now, granted - he may be thinking, Shit, this must be hard for Cas or he may be thinking Fuck, that could have been Cas, or he may simply be sorry he’d given Cas such a hard time about Benjamin in the car (and the fact he was jealous of a guy really spoke volumes, by the way), but he must have noticed, even if it’s just ash on a wall, that those broken stumps are a far cry from what a dead angel’s wings used to look like.
(Yep, I’m picking this specific example because I’m writing about Gabriel and I’m sad and now you get to be sad too. Yay.)
Plus, you know, since Cas was consistently framed with his back to the wall during that scene, Dean must have wondered about Cas’ own wings and what they currently look like. Then again, I hope both Dean and Sam have wondered about that long before now - I hope they had an in-depth and affectionate conversation with Cas about what it all meant for him - Metatron’s betrayal, Falling, living on stolen Grace, the works. I mean, we do know important stuff happens in between episodes (*coughs* MIXTAPE *coughs*), and this is one of those things that seems so important and central to who Cas is as an angel - to his health and his mental wellbeing - that, really - it beggars belief that it’s something they simply never talked about.
(As to why, if it actually happened, we haven’t seen it - I guess it wasn’t as entertaining as yet another decapitated head splashing blood at the camera?)
That said, I’m not sure that Cas could explain what losing his wings meant to him - we know enough about his true form to know that, whatever he looks like, those wing shadows angels like to flash now and then are a sort of metaphor of the real thing. Whatever their true aspect and meaning, though, from what we know I’m sure their loss made Cas feel even more trapped and restless - I guess that, since he used to be able to move through space and time at will, what he does now must feel like limping around on two broken feet? Of course, angels may be slightly more resilient than humans - we’ve rarely heard Cas complain about his wings - but it was still a huge blow, and an interesting insight into the show’s mythology. I hope the fact Lucifer still has his wings intact will create an opening of some kind to bring this up again - and, of course, if we don’t get to see Cas’ true form by the series finale, we riot.
“They are released at the front and told to go home
- this is all they know. But to get there they must fly over war. Can you
imagine such a thing? Here you are flying over so much pain and terror - and
you know you can never look down. You have to look forward or you’ll never get
home. I ask you - what could be braver than that?”
There were days when Jack Harkness missed being a coward. He missed those days before you said to him: “Jack, if you wanna be better than this, then take my hand right now.” And then you saved him, and as much as Jack missed being a coward with zilch responsibilities, he couldn’t really imagine going back to the way he was before you took his hand and told him to run. He told you that, once. For some reason, you seemed to think it was hilarious.
So, when he realized he was going to have to dive into the fray of Cybermen, he thought of the day he took your hand, and he did not regret it. He thought of the Doctor, blood-stained and wasting away, and he did not question his motivations. He thought of what he was before and what he had become, and it did not occur to him to turn back. He was going to save you, and that was that.
The journey wasn’t pleasant. Vortex Manipulators were nasty little buggers, no matter how high-tech they got. But Jack, unlike the Doctor, never went to the wrong time and place (well, almost never), and he was relying on that to get him to you. And get to you, he did.
At first, all Jack saw was blood - but then he realized what he was looking at. Upgrading was messy business, and there were bits and pieces of… people… everywhere. What was left of them, anyway. Jack had seen worse, but the smell of electricity burning flesh made his gut lurch, and he tasted bile at the back of his throat. There were Cybermen everywhere, but they were going about there business and not paying much attention to their surroundings. They obviously weren’t worried about anyone escaping, which probably meant that the building was under some sort of lockdown, which also probably meant that you were still in here. You couldn’t have been upgraded yet, Jack knew, because he had timed his landing for just seconds after you were taken, but fear cut through him so forcefully-
He screamed your name.
Fear of death was something you had learned to let go of. It’s not the sort of thing you can hold onto, not if you want to keep running with the Doctor. But fear of death and fear of dying are two very different things, and fear of dying a terrible, agonizing death that would turn you into what was basically a mechanical zombie? Yeah, not an unreasonable fear in your current situation.
You had sort of forgotten that Cybermen could be really stupid. They had drugged you (which, ow, still really hurt, because there was a puncture wound on the back of your neck that throbbed), and then they just… forgot about you? They had dumped you next to an upgrading facility. Apparently, there was a waiting list, and thank goodness for that, because otherwise you would have been upgraded in your sleep.
It was probably the smell of burning flesh that woke you up. There weren’t anymore screams, thank God, although you could only assume that meant that everybody was so far into the upgrading process that they had just stopped screaming. Which, unfortunately, meant that there was no saving them. And as unfortunate as that was, you felt a sense of relief, because that meant that there was no one left for you to save, meaning that there was no reason for you to attempt any thrilling heroics. You could run away, and run away was what you did.
You ran back to where you were sure the Doctor had parked the TARDIS. You felt that giddy sense of freedom and the feeling you got every time you managed to surprise your ‘superior’ Time Lord. Nearly dying was awful, but the look on the Doctor’s face was always worth having to pull the hey-look-I-survived-another-near-death-experience card. You were ready, so ready, to jump into the TARDIS and surprise him, or wait for him if he didn’t get back first.
But the TARDIS wasn’t there.
You gaped at the empty space for a moment, uncomprehending, before you realized.
But, no. It was even worse than that, because of course the Doctor left. This whole building was set to blow if the Cybermen weren’t eradicated, and it was too late for that, so obviously he left. There was nothing here for him to be heroic for. The people were dead or dying and the Cybermen weren’t a threat as long as they stayed inside, which they had to do, because there was no way out. If the Doctor hadn’t left, that would have been stupid. But it was worse than all of that.
He left me.
You couldn’t believe it. You had seen the look in his eyes. The despair. Both of you had been so sure in that moment that you were past the point of no return, but- but- but you weren’t! You were here! You made it! You survived, you lived, you pulled the survival-beyond-expectations act like the Doctor did all the time, but where was he? Why hadn’t he waited? You would have! You would have waited until the last possible second to escape. You would have waited.
He left me.
The throbbing pain in your neck had bloomed into a nigh-unbearable ache that pulsed through your whole body, knocking painfully against the suddenly heavy weight of the TARDIS key resting between your breasts. Blood oozed from the cuts on your hands and dripped from your trembling fingertips. Your knees shook as you panted in panic. You were alone. The Doctor had never left you alone before, not like this, and-
The building was under lockdown. It was full of Cybermen. It was set to blow sky-high.
You were going to die here.
You swayed on your feet, body throbbing and heart thundering and throat closing. Your skin crawled as your mind raced to keep up with your emotions. You were on the edge of a panic attack.
And then a hand grabbed yours.
You screeched, jumping sideways to escape, but the hand had a firm enough grip to pull you back, and you found yourself face-to-face with the one and only Captain Cheesecake and his absolutely dazzling, shameless grin.
“Jack?!” you shrieked, relief hitting you like a truck. Your whole body sagged. Jack was here. And if Jack got into this place without the TARDIS, that meant that there was a way out! You were going to live! You were going to get back to the Doctor!
Jack grinned, pulling your body flush against his. You immediately fell into an exaggerated swooning-damsel-in-distress pose that made his grin widen. You laughed.
Filling the prompt “Can you do a fic based on the song Razorblade by The
strokes?” from @isle-of-flightless-josh and “something where the girl doesn’t really do serious
relationships often and dates around and van falls for her.”
It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment when you became
the person you never wanted to be; probably sometime after all the hurt though. A few good years. That’s all you got. A few good years after high
school where you liked life and people and romance and sunshine. You were the
person you were born to be. Happy, first and foremost. Kind and gentle and
loving. It’s not to say you stopped being all those things, but you certainly
stopped dishing out the warmth. Getting your heart broke is what did it. In the
wake of a relationship you thought would last forever, you found the only
effective coping strategy. Retreat.
You built walls that were impossible for people to
climb. No new friends. No new relationships. It wasn’t worth it. You had your
little social group; the ones that had been by your side forever. That’s all you
needed. Love, see, was too much like a razorblade. If you picked it up and
played with it, someone was bound to get hurt. No point in that. But eventually
the isolation did your head in. So, you ventured out into the world again.
Except you were different. You strung people along, and when they got too close
you kicked them to the curb. Tightened that noose. Your feelings were more
important than theirs. The moment you realised that is what you’d been telling
yourself was the moment your sunshine years self didn’t recognise
you anymore. And that epiphany only came after bringing Van McCann to his
I don't get if I'm supposed to really like or really hate Oikawa Tooru.
oh oh oh OOOOOOHH
I am so going to use my chance and this is going to be LONG. very long. You’re warned.
Let me begin with saying that I understand what you’re talking about. When I first read the manga I found Oikawa…incredibly annoying, and no pretty design could make up for it to me.
Yet here I am, now, loving Oikawa with all I’ve got. Do ya wanna know why?:D
Do or don’t, I will take my time to rant about Oikawa Tooru anyway.
Because the thing is, the more you think, truly think about Oikawa and his behaviour and his attitude, the more you understand him. Let’s begin with what seems like a horrible personality. When Oikawa is shown for the first time, he seems like nothing else but a womanizer with a fanclub, constantly seeking attention, a not-too-smart frivolous guy who is there to get on the way of our protagonists.
This is what Oikawa Tooru is on the first glance.
But the more you think about it, the more you get to realize that he’s much more than that and that there’s a lot he hides behind all of his bravado.
I feel like the majority of people who dislike Oikawa, do that because of his attitude towards Tobio-chan in Junior High, which, I admit, made me kind of dislike him too. At the beginning. He is an antagonist who throws sand in a wheel of our beloved Tobio-chan. Annoying, right?
Not quite, when you start thinking about it from Oikawa’s perspective.
Let’s come and think about what Tobio is to Oikawa. It was said Oikawa is not a genius. Which means, he has to work his ass off and ALWAYS giveit everything he’s got, just to be able to simply compete against people who are. People like Tobio-chan, people like Ushiwaka-chan.
can’t help but think Oikawa doesn’t only add the “chan” to his
opponents’ names just to mock them, but also to remind himself they
are just people like him, they don’t fly, they don’t breathe fire.
They are like him, so he can be able to stand against them on an
equal level. He just has to work more.
no, he thinks he can’t. When he’s 14, in Junior High and full of
insecurities once Kageyama comes into picture, comes there to take his
place, just because he’s so
Oikawa is obviously pissed off. Angry and scared and bitter, because
this is not FAIR. Why is that he has to work his ass off perfecting
his serves, receives and tosses, working until it’s late and the sky
is dark when there is someone like Tobio-chan who is so ridiculously
GOOD just because he’s born this way? Why does he improve so fast
even though he works less? Why can’t Oikawa?
In which Tooru ends up working
even harder, almost to the point of self-destruction that WOULD take
place if only Iwaizumi wasn’t there for him.
People hate Oikawa because, wow,
he was 14 and almost punched Tobio-chan, but remember his face after
he realized what he almost did? The shock? I don’t think
Oikawa quite gave a thought for it back then, I don’t think he ever thought
that it wasn’t Kageyama’s fault he was more talanted than he is. I
think Iwaizumi helped him realize that and also that Tooru is not
alone with it. That he doesn’t have to be alone.
And this is where Oikawa’s true
nature comes in place, because Kageyama doesn’t look up to him for
nothing. Oikawa is someone who learnt how to find a key to every
lock, how to connect with everyone on his team. He learnt the
differences, the special things for every player. Do you know how
hard it is to understand the way someone else is thinking? How
impossible it seems? Oikawa found a way to understand everyone.
Wow, what a horrible guy.
If Kageyama was trying to force his way of thinking onto someone else, run faster, jump higher, find a way to connect with ME, then Oikawa is the one who jumps higher and runs faster to connect with someone else. Kageyama thought people are there to spike his perfect tosses, Oikawa thinks his tosses are there to be spiked. And that he will do everything to make sure his toss fits the spiker perfectly. Oikawa makes everyone realize they are special. (mind you, I don’t only talk about his teammates. The girls from his fanclub made him cookies and what Oikawa does? he tries them, thank the girls and tells them that the cookies are GOOD.) God what a jerk.
Oikawa’s tactics in volleyball
sometimes are nearly mean towards his opponents, because he sees
weaknesses, and obviously he uses it for his team advantage. BUT,
Oikawa never goes against the rules. In the sports animangas we often
forget that the antagonists, the guys who are meant to be horrible
and meant to be defeated are just people like everyone else, who love
the same sport and just happen to be on the other side of the net. Haikyuu!! reminds us about it.
Then, remember how Oikawa wanted
so bad to mock Tobio after he loses? How he wanted to say that he
can’t win by himself no matter how strong he is? It’s almost like
he’s mocking his past self, because with this they are kind of
similar. But then, Oikawa never does. Because he knows it’s no longer
But even after everything he
can’t defeat Ushijima. No matter how hard he worked. No matter how
much he polishes everyone’s skills and even despite the fact he was
able to find a way to every player and draw out their potential to
the limit, they are still not strong enough to defeat genius, to
defear pure brutal force. In volleyball, you have to use everything
you’ve got, but even that is not enough.
Yet what Oikawa does? Oh, he
Later in the manga he comes up
with a new killer serve, which isn’t completely perfected just yet.
But Oikawa never gives up no matter how hard things are, and always
gives it his all. Always cheers on his teammates and reassures them
when needed. Everyone.
And you know what, Oikawa doesn’t
only care about his teammates? Later when Kageyama is confused and
lost and can’t find a way to get to his spiker (aka Hinata), what
does he do? Comes to Oikawa seeking advice. To that horrible horrible
trashy character. And what that asshole does? He gives the advice to
his opponent. To someone who is already a genius. He gives the valuable advice that will make this genius kid even stronger. Not only that, but from Tooru’s words (something like
“little guy is the one who spikes the ball”) it’s obvious that he
doesn’t take all the credit for his actions, because he knows he’s not
the one who spikes, he acknowledges how important spikers are. Even
though setters come with a pattern for a game, they would be nowhere
without people who spike their tosses. He makes Kageyama realize this.
The last thing for now is the
recent chapter. The chapter in which Oikawa admits he’s not a genius,
chapter in which he almost sets the limits for himself. But then he
doesn’t, and then Oikawa thinks that if he’s not a genius he will
MAKE himself into one by working hard, by using all he’s got. If
it’s not enough then he will use more. Learn more tricks. Do
everything to be good enough.
He says that if you think you don’t have talent, then you will probably never have it. And this is the line
I nearly teared up on because it’s so. damn. relatable. This is what
Oikawa’s world is like. He KNOWS he lacks talent, knows he’s not a
prodigy. So what? He will make himself into one. There are no limits
as long as he practises hard enough.
And this, is why Oikawa is such an
important character. He is there to make people believe in themselves even though there is someone better than them. Loving him, hating him…you’re the one to
choose. But personally, Oikawa is someone I would endlessly respect
because this guy deserves it.
Do you think Cas will get a happy ending? I used to be Cas' ending would be a choosing to be human thing but now I don't know. Not just the whole Billie thing but also Cas was involved in killing a child. There a certain things you just dont came back from and certain things show's won't have their main heroes do even in a fantasy setting -the protag can kill but he wont cheat, rape, or harm a child usually for example. :(
I didn’t feel like the episode was trying to tell us, Cas killed a kid and now he’s terrible, but instead, Cas feels responsible for the death of the kid, and he feels terrible, which really changes this from my perspective.
Dean killed a kid and it’s not routinely dragged out by the show to prove he shouldn’t be happy. I’m sure it’s tormenting him but narratively, that all disappeared when he got the Mark off into a sort of blob of generic terrible things he did under the Mark guilt, which wasn’t really that well explored either. At this point I’m sure they’re all writing it off as under mind control as a technicality, and not focusing on it like that.*
Sam drank the blood of a screaming nurse, killing her (a valued member of society with kind of a moral event horizon similar to killing children when it comes to listing innocents) - off screen, but it was Sam’s over-the-edge act that demonised HIS soul for all of 10 minutes at the end of season 4, and he only needed a season to repent for it all and stop Lucifer, and again, Cindy is pretty much never mentioned again.
*Note: not interested in starting the debate about how culpable Dean is for the stuff under the Mark (or I guess Sam under demon blood and Ruby’s manipulations); just commenting on the way the show presented it. It’s probably under the same bracket as Sam trying to murder Bobby in 6x11. Everyone can feel guilty and horrible but for the sake of core characterisation it wasn’t their fault enough to drag them under with it, and in 3 episodes time they seem mostly back to normal :P
Anyway. Both of these actions were objectively worse and more terrible and actively detrimental to Sam and Dean’s moral fibre and our perceptions of them than anything they showed with Cas. I’m not just defending Cas because, idk, I like him more than Sam and Dean; I don’t hate either of them for these things (and if I like Cas more it’s unrelated :P)
This episode was very careful to establish a villain who would evilly want to kill a child because he’s just plain awful (Ishim) and to contrast Cas to him repeatedly as a dark mirror to Cas’s character, AND use his actions of lying to them to make them enact orders that were emphatically described as part of the angel’s moral code, to trick the rest of the angels into being complicit in this murder.
Even when Cas thought it was a nephilim and not a human child, this was his immediate reaction to the nephilim being killed - a being that he thought was an abomination and that should be destroyed by all the laws he upheld:
He flinches at the sound of a young girl screaming, despite all of that, there’s a part of him even then that’s not entirely okay with it - that same part of him that’s always been terrible at following orders and of feeling sympathetic or protective of the innocent and defenceless, which is his core goodness that makes him such a great character.
This scene also directly implies that Cas murdered who knows how many babies:
NAOMI Not always, angel. There was that day, back in Egypt, not so long ago, where we slew every first-born infant whose door wasn’t splashed with lamb’s blood. And that was just PR.
CASTIEL Well, I wasn’t there.
NAOMI Oh, you were there. You just don’t remember it.
And the implication was that he resisted and rebelled there, and maybe even was controlled to do it just like Naomi forcing Cas to attack Dean in the crypt, as by that point it was established she could control his actions completely and use him to kill whoever she wanted (except Dean that one time - but the “first borns” thing is interesting to me anyway for the comparison).
All of this is meant to horrify us but I don’t think it’s meant to show Cas has broken morality - instead it highlights that he has GOOD morality because of how he reacts to these evil actions and situations, and the fact both times it’s less that he’s made evil choices but that he never had a choice. He may not have had “true” free will until 4x22 when he finally chooses to rebel against heaven and no longer heed their orders, and to decide for himself what is right or not. Obviously killing Lily’s kid came way before that, so we have to weigh how Cas’s character evolved over season 4, the way it was shown Heaven manipulated out dissent and rebellion (Anna tells us rebellious angels will be killed) and gives us the sort of emotional backstory on what Cas would have been up against 100 years ago, following orders and believing completely in Heaven because what other choice did he have? The fact his orders in this case were a lie isn’t even a part of this line of thought - if it HAD been a nephilim, this is how Cas reacted and felt, and what he was up against convincing him he had to do it while he was basically in a state where he was unable to pretty much THINK dissent or more than vague uncertain doubts he didn’t give voice to until 4x07 (100 years later :P). Throw in their absolute and unquestionable law that nephilim are evil and must be killed, and of course the Cas we saw there is following these orders and could have seemed even pleased or satisfied that the child was killed, but EVEN SO, he flinched.
BUT looking at the wider picture, even that they were lied to on top of that somewhat diminished responsibility, I’d agree blood is still on their hands because they helped, but their actual intent to murder is completely diminished by Ishim’s actions because they didn’t know it was an innocent human child and obviously would not have gone along with it if they knew. As the only angel who survived to find out what Ishim had really done, Cas isn’t just in a place to question his orders and assumptions about it being fine to murder Nephilim on principle, but to feel betrayed, manipulated and coerced into the murder of Lily’s kid - obviously this is on a personal level away from how Cas actually talks to Lily about what happened. All he can do THERE is express how sorry he is and to admit her right to be avenged if she wants to, because of course whatever he FEELS about it, his past actions still helped lead to her child’s murder.
This episode definitely gave a lot of room to ethically exonerate Cas of everything except what will be his conflict with the current nephilim plot - the duty/obligation/moral code from Heaven which dictates that they must be destroyed. And even that, he has to admit he’s now gained enough insight that even seeing it as a separate thing from what happened with Lily’s kid (since she wasn’t a nephilim, the ethical lesson about murder being bad technically doesn’t apply to actual nephilim) he WOULD feel some hesitation now, so the episode has even begun to shake his faith in that, even setting aside that tiny hint that our Cas has always been in there somewhere even when following these orders seemingly blindly. He was the angel who doubted.
I mean, there’s still a long and dodgy road to go about wtf the show will do with Lucifer’s baby, but this is a good sign that they’re edging away from killing it on principle, and it’s Cas’s principle that’s dictating that. So he hasn’t actually reached the same crossroads as Sam and Dean did when they murdered innocents, and he’s already had a strong lesson in questioning his assumptions, and what to do about nephilim. I think unless he decides to do it anyway, at this point your fears about him being unredeemable aren’t a problem yet at all.
At the moment I don’t feel Cas is in any moral danger in this way compared to Sam and Dean’s various bad moral slides, because he started in the uncompromising place, in 12x08 and flashback!Cas whose lines were pretty much all enforcing the idea from Heaven that nephilim are bad and need to be killed and so on, and now by the end of 12x10 this has been at least chipped at a little so far. I have some hope now that Cas will make the right choice, by whatever standards the show works on (this whole thing is really ethically messed up when it comes to the Lucifer baby stuff so idk how much that will relate to what fans think the right choice will be and people with different opinions in general will react differently to what they do, I guess.) But at least by the show’s apparent rules for the characters and whether they’re being presented as good, bad, redeemable, in danger of moral lapse, they’re apparently trying to show us Cas changing and learning and hoping to find another way to deal with it than the old, absolute rule of Heaven he was trying to enforce. Which is all a positive sign that he WON’T go down a bad road and kill the kid and end up in this place where it affects him in the long run…
I hope :P
I don’t know if Cas will get a happy ending or not because they’re really messing around filling time on a show they know at the moment they can write as if it will never end, but Cas has clear goals set out for happiness and belonging and a sense of home, as well as obstacles to stop him getting there, settling in, and then being in a place where he’s achieved all his goals before the end, and then obviously has to have terrible stuff happen to him to take it away again because that’s not how things work in stories >.> So these delays on Cas getting what he wants are good because obviously they want to hold something back for him to aim at.
But I definitely don’t think Cas has been damaged beyond the point of ethical redemption or deservedness of a happy ending.
I DID in my watching notes, when Ishim was talking about tearing out Lily’s heart because she broke his, and went for her daughter, immediately link it to when by Cas’s POV on being heartbroken by his family turning on him and refusing to help/believe in him/trust him in 6x20, he then goes off and breaks Sam’s wall to slow up Dean from stopping him. Obviously that’s a really exaggerated bad example I just made with a lot of character slander to compare what Cas was doing to what Ishim did. BUT it was his one big, truly “unforgivable” action in the narrative.
Dean acts as the shows moral compass, and often/mostly has the final say on ethical issues like this, determining who is good and bad (and if he’s wrong, it’s on his shoulders to deal with that - 7x03 was the last episode I watched this week working through the show with my mum, and of course the next episode after that is the judgement one where Dean’s heart is weighed, and blah blah off track here but Dean’s moral judgement is really important on the show). DEAN FORGIVES CAS for hurting Sam. It’s an almost miraculous recovery because to Dean hurting Sam is just… the absolute worst thing you can do. Dean is otherwise the sort of person who would advocate shooting their own grandfather for betrayal, but after Cas does it and inflicts the worst damage on Sam we’ve seen anyone go through in the whole show… He lets Cas back in and accepts his attempts to redeem himself. Cas’s season 7 redemption is one of the most important stories on the show for him or Dean or even Sam when it comes to personal relationships… I like to just randomly watch Cas’s season 7 episodes and bawl at the screen :P
Anyway, Cas went right over the moral event horizon in 6x22, but he was brought back already, years ago, and like Sam jumping into the cage to atone for season 4, has been morally recovered, in a way, for a very long time. He still feels some guilt for it but the narrative (which blurs with Dean’s opinion :P) has forgiven him. Sam and Dean are initially horrified by Cas’s story in the middle of the episode, but don’t reject him and the final conversation is positive, with them discussing that change and hoping for a change with their next decisions.
(still not sure what’s up with Dean and the Mark and all that, but as I said… rug sweeping :P But yeah, Dean is the character always talking about how they go down swinging and doesn’t see a happy end, and I do think he doesn’t think he deserves one, just that exploring any of the reasons why has all been suppressed by him, so it’s not being dealt with >.> He’s probably got a list of reasons dating back to when he was four years old. Whether HE gets the happy ending is something they’ve been poking at for years, and when that starts getting properly addressed, we’ll know the show is nearly over :P)
Prompt: You loved your life. Until one night where everything changed, now you have to fight for what’s right. The only problem - you don’t know it. And when you decide for what’s wrong , your friends are in more trouble than before.
a/n: Let me know what you think about it😊 THE ACTION STARTS IN THE NEXT PART👏👏
You saw bucky laying in front of you, staring at you in horror and fear as he slowly stood up, a little wobbly on his own knees but he accepted that he maybe had to fight against you. What he didn’t accept was that you were like this. He wouldn’t let you go, he wouldn’t give up on you.
He knew that you were in there somewhere, he knew you were.
You stood up straight, composing yourself to throw another punch, your eyes full of hate and disgust making bucky worry even more, maybe there was even a little sadness hitting up in him but he wouldn’t show it to hydra.
Because he knew ,showing what he felt meant giving up on himself and giving up on fighting.
But he wasn’t going to do that. Not again.
He wouldn’t give up on you and he wouldn’t give up on himself.
He stood infront of you defensive staring into your eyes that looked darker than normal, they were clouded by dark doubts, regrets and fear. They were filled with hate and confusion and bucky got angry.
Not just because hydra already turned you into someone you’re not, also because there was nothing he could do to bring you back. All he could do was try.
“(Y/n)” he started holding his arms up in as a gesture of reassurance, already seeing you frown at him and start getting more confused.
Bucky is cautious yet, the hope build up in the back of his head, considering your expression it couldn’t be in you for long already, whatever they did it was too weak.
He knew when you lowered your hands that you fought back, and you are still fighting. You didn’t give up yet and that made him proud.
He saw his chance to continue
“That’s not you (y/n) but I know you are somewhere in there. You have to come back okay ?”
He pleaded softly with a supportive smile on his lips as he walked closer towards you, and you didn’t know what to do.
You looked around seeing all the ugly walls and the blood on the floor you felt disgusted, and then you looked back at bucky, and pictures started flooding your mind. You sank to your knees and held your hands against the sides of your forehead as you started to cry.
There were all those bright pictures and the clouded ones and the pain in your head. You saw the bright image of how bucky shot you. The loud ringing noise in your ear hit up and then the room started to spin around you as your one hand flew down to the ground trying to make the spinning stop while your other hand tried to get the heavy headache away. A rather clouded picture, or a memory came up about you and bucky watching a movie in the middle of the night. The memory felt good, even if it was dulled in a blurry gray, but it felt good and comfortable. You didn’t know what all this meant.
Suddenly there were black spots clouding your vision and you barely saw anything as you felt yourself starting to pass out, everything was so overwhelming. But then another image came from the back of your mind it was bright and clouded at the same time and you didn’t know what that meant. It was bucky and he was shouting at you, he yelled so loud it made your headache hurt even more and you let out a muffled groan at his harsh words in your mind and then you screamed,and somehow the bright light that surrounded the memory vanished away and left over was a Bucky who was soothing you as you sat on your bed crying
“I’m so scared Bucky, I feel like no one wants me here, I just burden everyone with my fears.” You sobbed out while sitting on your bed and fiddling with your pillow that was laying in your lap.
“Hey” bucky started softly laying his arm around your shoulders “we can be afraid together, okay?” He smiled at you.
And you nodded back at him, leaning and laying your head on his chest with a smile and sniffle.
The room kept spinning around you and you sat there slumped down on the ground with both of your hands on the floor to stop the spinning, which finally worked.
You managed to bring your surroundings to a halt but your sobs still echoed through the room with your tears running down your cheeks.
You looked back up at bucky slowly, your face signed by the fear, you stared at him pleadingly and he looked back at you worried.
“Help me” you whispered in horror before looking back down and letting your sobs take over again.
You were trapped and didn’t know what to do.
Then suddenly men in combat and stealth suits came entering the room and dragged you out by your arms, you tried to fight them , to yank yourself away but you couldn’t, they dragged you out and you had to watch bucky disappear.
You tried to break free so you could go back to him but you couldn’t , you just couldn’t.
You pushed them away, kicked them and punched them but they threw you into your room either way and the spinning started once again.
You let yourself fall onto the bed and rubbed your temples until the headache seemed at least bearable.
You rolled over and watched Pietro with hot tears in your eyes.
He sat there lookin back at you and you rolled over and out of the bed , dragging yourself to the glass wall and leaning your head against it.
“It hurts” you started feeling your tears well up again.
You heard some rustling and looked up to see Pietro sitting next to you on the other side of the glass.
Being here for you and supporting you.
“I don’t know what’s wrong or right anymore.” you told him with tears streaming down your face.
He laid his head onto the glass, where yours leaned against the cold surface as well, listening to you.
“ I promised myself to stay who I am and not let anyone or anything change me but I think I broke the promise. I’m just saying maybe this is my place to stay. They got me… Again. And they are about to pull the trigger. So why would I be here if this isn’t my faith ?”you stated sadly , just above a whisper.
” and it hurts, just thinking about it hurts.“ you mumbled your eyes glued to the ground.
“It just hurts because it matters.” he told you finally.
“Does it ?”you questioned with all the doubts and disbelief clouding your vision.
“Yes ! (Y/n) don’t give up.“ He urged making you look at him in disbelief, in confidence even in sadness because in that moment you knew why he told you this.
He told you because he gave up long ago.
He gave up and he is angry at himself and he is disappointed because he didn’t last and he couldn’t do it anymore. And you swore yourself in that moment you would make him proud.
You laid your hand against the glass and looked at him deeply “you can start fighting again, you can do it” you told him urgently. He looked into your eyes intensely as if they gave him something to hold onto, something to fight.
Then suddenly the door to your cell got opened with a loud noise making your head snap and turn back to it quickly, you stared at the men coming in in pure horror and fear, once again you tried to escape them, to yank yourself away from them as they dragged you with them at their arms.
But again they were too strong and you couldn’t do anything. Nothing affected them and then they pushed you into a room and you couldn’t believe your eyes.
Your vision got blurry again and you were zoning out as you stared at what you saw infront of you.
There sat bucky with fear written all over his face, in the chair both of you were most afraid of.
His blue eyes were filled with tears as he tried to keep himself from crying.
Your hand flew over your mouth as hot tears slipped down your cheeks “no” you whispered softly, filled with disbelief and regret.
Bucky just sat there and he glanced over at you and you felt him fight the urge to let loose and he held onto your eyes, the glow in them was gone but he still held onto them because in this moment his life depended on it and you whispered to him “don’t give up” as the chair leaned back and Bucky’s breathing fastened and his fearful eyes closed.
“Please don’t give up.”
Then you felt a harsh stinging pain at the back of your head, knowing someone hit you.
You blacked out ,the last thing you felt was something being injected into your arm before you passed out completely.