Hamilton? Y-yeah he's a great friend, uh, my best friend , I don't love him, nop enever nope *trips* *hundreds of love letters spill from his pockets* fuck those aren’t mine I swear I’m just holding them for a friend I- *slips on a pile of letters* FUcK nO they’re not miNe I don’t even know who Ham was sending them to! *drawings of Ham fall out as he falls to his knees, desperately trying to pick them up* hang on a sec jUst YOU WAIT I cAn ExPLaiN
i really don't understand why anyone ships unhealthy relationships i- *trips* *thousands of batjokes pictures and fics spill from pockets* fuck those aren’t mine i swEAR i’m just holding them for a friend i- *slips on a pile of papers* fuCK no they’re not mine i hate this kinda thing i just- *more pictures fall out as i fall to my knees, desperately trying to pick them up* hang on a sec just LISTEN
OK but now that we know jake stans sean (no i don’t exaggerate you can’t tell me that) i just love to think of all the times they’ve interacted
like all those times when sean plays the hero jake is so annoyed but also stanning so hard because sean is so cool and collected and he just witnessed captain fucking america in action
and imagine jake being so conflicted he punched SEAN GAYLE and also being so honored he was PUNCHED BACK by SEAN GAYLE like.. it was the best moment of his whole life
and on that boat when you choose the option for both of them to put sunscreen on mc he’s just like “fuck this guy!!! fuck sean GAYLE that son of a fucking bitch how can i compete with those rock hard abs… imma fucking show him.. look princess/boy scout i’m a better masseur!!”
me at midnight, crying while eating cheese: why is Kimax so unappreciated in this fandom, there’s so little content for them compared to other ships with similar or less levels of interaction in canon
me not paying attention during class: they have so much ship tease together, we’re talking Julerose levels here, they genuinely care about each other and are always with each other and there are hints that it’s not just friendship in multiple episodes and especially in the animatics which suggests it was going to be shippier and was toned down in the actual show
me accidentally pouring redbull into my cereal instead of milk: why, when it comes to Kim ships, do people take the silly cracky ones more seriously than the person who actually interacts with Kim the most and clearly actually cares about him, why does Max get such little appreciation in general
me absent-mindedly eating a tissue: why do we not talk about Max’s lovestruck expression after giving Kim the brooch on Valentine’s Day, or the fact that they went to the zoo together, or that Kim (despite being a jerk to other characters on multiple occasions) supports Max to the point of confidently showing off about him and even showing off to him, since there was no one else around to hear him bragging about being able to outrun a panther so who else was he trying to impress
me looking at the emtpy AO3/tumblr tags: why is there so much less content for what is essentially the guy-equivalent of Julerose, and why do Julerose and Kimax in general only get treated as side-ships and there’s barely any content that focuses more on them while straight rarepairs that have far less (or even none) canon evidence have much more content
Tumblr Idiot :
Why don't you abandon your canon OTP and join my crackship, I have all these reasons...
I don't even waste time on my own non-canon crackships until they become canon. What makes you think you can "talk me into" choosing the miserable crackshipper life for something I don't even like?
Tumblr Idiot :
It'll magically fix racism, sexism, homophobia, hunger, climate change and establish world peace... We can stalk the canon shippers together, read OOC fanfics and instigate ship wars daily, I swear it's fun. Join it, join our cult, we are cool I swear...
Have you ever heard of 'Ship and let ship' or Tumblr tagging etiquette