i don't say this to sound rude

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice, odd question but: Do you believe asexuals belong in the LGBT community? I have a friend who identifies this way, but as a trans girl, I'm struggling to understand how she has to go through the same things as an LGBT person by being asexual. And struggle aside, I don't even see how asexuality is THAT different from heterosexuality, just with more... hesitation!? Maybe this sounds rude, but I know you've written about asexual people etc, and I wondered what you thought. No shade intended

Hi there. I’m glad you reached out to me about this because you must have really upset your friend by saying stuff like this to them.

It’s easy to see why not only cishet people, but also LGBT+ people, think that asexuality is fake. The world is awash with sex and sexual attraction. It’s everywhere. And everyone is supposed to want it and feel it. It’s so extremely normalised that the idea that someone could be literally UNABLE to feel sexual attraction is, to many people, absolutely bizarre and a joke.

Even if you acknowledge that asexuality is real, it’s also easy to see why you would be so quick to reject and get angry at asexual people who call themselves LGBT+. Because asexual people are not like you, are they. Unless they are trans, asexuals don’t have gender troubles, and unless they experience same-gender romantic attraction, asexuals don’t experience same-gender attraction! Lesbian, bi, gay etc people can all be joined together in their experience of same gender attraction, and all trans folks, binary and non binary, can be joined together in their experience of feeing a disconnect from their assigned birth gender.

The result? No one wants asexuals near them. People can’t relate. No one else feels the way asexuals do and people don’t think they should be part of the group. They’re not the same as you.

But oh god, they are not allowed in the cishet club either.

The first thing you need to try and unlearn is that asexuality is in any way similar to heterosexuality. It’s not. It’s so, so fucking not. It’s painful how different it feels to be asexual compared to being heterosexual. Telling an ace person that asexuality isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’ is about as accurate as saying being gay isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’. Being asexual means you do not experience sexual attraction, ever. EVER. And while that might seem easy to you, it’s an extremely painful and terrifying thing to learn about yourself, in a world where everyone is expected to have an array of sexual experiences, fall in love, get married, and anyone who doesn’t do that is strange and a freak.

Learning you are asexual can be terrifying. When you realise you’ve never had a crush, when all your friends have had ten each, you are terrified. When you pass the age where people have started dating and having sex and you still feel nothing - NOTHING - you are terrified. When you think about ever falling in love and the idea disgusts you, or you think about falling in love and you crave it, god you CRAVE it, but you know you can’t ever feel that, you are terrified. When you realise you will never be able to enjoy a normal romantic/sexual relationship, the ones full of passion like you see in the movies, and people will reject you because you can’t fancy them in that way, and there’s a higher chance for you than anyone else that you will simply die alone, without love, without children - you are terrified.

You think being ace is the same as heterosexuality? You think it’s an easy thing to learn about yourself? Explain the terror, then. I’m all ears.

The fact you see asexuality as 'hesitation’ is really horrifying to me. Asexuals aren’t attracted to the opposite gender but 'hesitant’ to act on it. Asexuals DO NOT feel attraction. To anyone. It’s not a choice. It’s not a way of life. It’s not the same as celibacy out of choice, or being a 'prude’, or waiting till marriage. It is ingrained in you, just like being gay is, just like being trans is. It is a part of you that no matter how hard you try to will it away, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise, you cannot help it. You DO NOT feel attracted to ANYONE.

And in saying all this, I fully acknowledge that asexuals do not experience the extent of oppression that other LGBT+ folks do. There are no laws regarding asexuality. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and other LGBT+ folks no doubt experience a higher level and intensity of systematic oppression to asexuals, more frequently go through hard experiences due to their orientation or gender. But since when did being LGBT+ become a competition for 'who’s the most oppressed’? Is that what LGBT+ is? You’re only allowed in the club if you’re 'oppressed enough’? If you’re 'gay enough’? If you’re 'trans enough’?

If you need persuading that asexuals do experience their own form of oppression, though, consider the number of asexuals who are coerced into sex in order to 'fix’ them. Consider the emotional pain that I have already discussed, of feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong and gross about you because you feel attracted to no one. Consider the number of asexuals who are hounded or emotionally abused by their families for failing to find partners. Consider the number of asexuals who force themselves to have sexual experiences, because it is the norm, because they don’t even know what asexuality is, because THEY think that they are just 'hesitant’, despite finding sex disgusting and feeling no desire to do it. Do you really think asexuals are just running around, free and happy and content in who they are? They aren’t. I’m not.

So go ahead. Cast aside asexuals if you want. Call them attention-seeking, call them special snowflakes. Ignore the pain they feel. Make them go through it alone, in pain, terrified of what they are. Why on earth would the LGBT+ community be a place to support people like that!?

Messages like the one you have just sent me gives me further reason to never talk about that part of myself. To just sit and cry about it at home day after day because I do not like myself. Because I feel that nobody will accept me or understand who I am. I could list the number of things people have said to me to discredit and laugh at this part of myself, but it’s people like you who make me embarrassed to talk about it, too scared to own a label and talk about it freely and openly.

I thought, going into this, that the LGBT+ community was one of total respect, understanding, and empathy. I learnt pretty quickly that it is not.

I send love to your asexual friend. I really, really do.

Disclaimer: I am very aware of the nuances of asexuality, of the differences between romantic/aesthetic/sexual attraction, but sadly it seems that many people can’t even grasp the basic concept of asexuality, so I don’t quite think they’re ready for that yet.

  • Me, sees a cute baby: aw I love babies, they're so cute!
  • Person next to me: yeah, you think that until they start crying
  • Me: thanks negative nancy, but did I ask for your input?? ?

anonymous asked:

how do you mean lotor is a better option for the universe than the paladins? he may be different from zarkon but he basically has the same goal. i don't intend to sound rude. i'm merely curious

to be completely blunt: the paladins have no idea what they’re doing. 

their goal to achieve peace by freeing the universe from the hands of the galra is admirable. their methods, however, are not. as things are now, they’re doing more harm than good. 

now, keep in mind i’m not saying lotor is the good guy here - from an objective standpoint, none of them are. 

we’re being told the story from the paladin’s point of view, which makes us perceive them as “good”, while anyone and anything that gets in their way is “bad”. but protagonist isn’t the same as hero, and antagonists aren’t always the villains - an important distinction to make, in this case. (some examples i can name off the top of my head are megamind, death note & peter pan) 

side note: if this story were being told from lotor’s perspective, it’d be about an exiled prince struggling to reform the empire his father created because he’s sick of his old man’s ways, and voltron would be the “villain” that popped out of nowhere to ruin his plans. badly worded, but you get the point.

the beginning of season 3 was the perfect example of that. the paladins liberated planet puig, got them to join their alliance, and once that was done they had no idea how to further go about their mission. 

i’m incredibly glad the writers made lotor himself point this out - because unless the paladins change their method, it’s always going to be like this. 

they free a planet. the galra strike. and boom - it’s part of the empire again

but lotor has an army at his hand, while the paladins have what? a 10.000 year old castle ship and a robot? 5 mini robots if you will? backed up by the “thinly spread defences” of the blade of marmora? 

this genius may not have a weapon as powerful as voltron yet, but he’s got an army. the amount of time voltron takes to defend one planet, he takes back 50 of them simultaneously. while the paladins may be strong in battle, they’re weak in war. 

lotor aims to integrate the newly conquered planets into the system of the empire while letting them continue to rule themselves (although his methods aren’t nearly as diplomatic as i’d like to believe). meanwhile team voltron practically go “you’re free now, baby. free. do what you want, we’re aware you have no experience managing things on your own whatsoever but you’ll do fine!”

not even taking into consideration that some of these planets have been enslaved by zarkon and haggar for 10.000 years. do they even know how to rule themselves anymore? voltron hands them ‘freedom’ with no outline of how to attain a manageable policy. that path leads down to poverty. famine. civil war. you name it. 

from their individual perspectives they’re all pursuing a “good” goal. but if we’re talking about what’s best for the stability of the universe, lotor’s leadership is way more functional than voltron’s current alliance.

Pillow Talk

Summary: While at Vidcon, Phil can’t seem to fall asleep, even after the whole ‘missed flight’ ordeal. His mind begins to drift, and his thoughts start to be filled with pride for his most favorite person.

Genre: don’t let the title fool you, it’s all FLUFF

Warnings: umm none that i can think of

Word Count: 1486

a/n: apparently my brain always comes up with stories about people who can’t sleep. also pLEASE DON’T JUDE ME i couldn’t think of a good title so i named it after zayn’s song and yeah i wrote thing while waiting in lines and legoland and universal studios and finished while at dinner so yeah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


It’s been a long two days. Phil still couldn’t believe they had made it to Vidcon. He thought, for sure, that they’d miss it. He still couldn’t believe they they had gotten so lucky with that flight that had two seats left, perfect for him and Dan.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Not to be rude but did you replace the Monday update with a thing on project glory? While it sounds really awesome and I'm looking forward to it a lot I'm kinda disappointed about not seeing a page

Didn’t you know?

We’re on our union-regulated break this week, just as we do the last week of every month! Our GLORY message wasn’t a replacement for the page, it was posted despite there being NO content scheduled for this week.

To combat comic burn out, we’ve been taking a one week break per month since June. 

As for the next two weeks, we’re traveling abroad! I’m taking a long international flight from the USA to see Eruto, then we’re jet-setting all over Europe! It’s hard to keep a comic schedule when we won’t have access to our tools, so during this period the blog will be put on a “limited” schedule for the first time. While we are out, Ellipsis will keep things up-to-date with asks, fanart, and the like.

There will be one special bonus comic scheduled for Chara’s birthday on 9/9. (That’s right, Chara’s birthday is right around the corner!) Regular updates start back up on September 18 (literally the day after we both get back home).

If you can’t go that long without more Caretaker goodness, during the trip we will be continuing to update Patreon with sketches, and Chara will still be managing the official Twitter.

anonymous asked:

Uhm i don't wanna seem rude but i hope your okay ,(god idk how that's supposed to sound rude I'm sorry) i just saw that your uhm videos are unlisted i just hope that you are all right is what I'm trying to say sorry it must be annoying Getting asks like this I'm sorry uh but that's what i was trying to say uhm sorry if i botherd you sorry

its ok dude ur not bothering me!! tyvm for the concern i appreciate u ♡

anonymous asked:

Hey I saw the lil dog Noodles was called a service dog? But belongs to a therapist as a therapy dog? I'm disabled and have a service dog and just wanna say they are not the same thing as therapy dogs. I don't wanna sound rude at all I love the blog but that rubbed me the wrong way.

You’re right, we should have classified him as an emotional support therapy dog, not a service dog. Thanks for letting us know, sorry about that!
- Mod Pepper

That was my mistake! So sorry about that, thank you so much for letting us know and I am sorry if it caused you distress. - Mod B

anonymous asked:

I'm attending my first con tomorrow and am cosplaying for the first time (my dad is also with me, and I'm not sure what's the right way to ask someone else about their cosplay without it sounding rude? Especially when you don't know what it is but want to compliment them.) Any major dos and donts for first time con peeps?

Hmm. Quick rundown since I’m about to go to bed

If a cosplayer is sitting down, usually they don’t want to be photographed.
Never ask someone who is eating if you can take a photo.
Always ask before taking a picture

Don’t assume their character and say “are you [insert character here]??” Just say “I like your cosplay, may I ask what it’s from?”

If you want to take a photo of someone just go up and ask! Usually like “hey! Is it ok if I get a photo of you?”
If you want to ask about their cosplay it’s like the picture thing. I’ve had people come up and ask me how I’ve made something a lot! Just like a “hey, I love your cosplay! Can I ask how you made [insert part of cosplay here]”

For the most part cosplayers are very nice and get excited when you want a photo, so don’t be afraid!

Can I just point out how much I love people, especially people with mental/ illnesses/ disorders (I’m sorry if that sounds offensive!!) watching Slenderverse??

I can’t tell you how many people I see relating to characters (I don’t mean Otherkin, bc I’m uneducated there)??? Like, I’ve had paranoia and anxiety for a while. It seems kind of cruel, but knowing other people go through it as well makes it easier to deal with. Even if it’s not a mental illness, just some normal things, it’s so easier to cope!

So when someone relates to a character, please please please stop throwing them down for it!


I saw people reposting my art on instagram
And I know I said earlier that I don’t mind people reposting it as long as credit is given,
I still saw people not crediting me and “credit goes to the owner/artist” is NOT a credit for me. The person on the other side of the screen don’t get any information from that.
EDIT: Also I saw my watermarks being cut out and it’s not cool.
I just wanna say that I’m not allowing to repost my art anywhere anymore.
Have a good day ♥

become-the-story  asked:

hey hey hey ;) Would it be possible to have a werewolf!Jungkook thingy ? A scenario where he finds his mate or smth idk it's up to you, I'm just a sucker for au's c: tyty ♥

AS PROMISED -  Here’s something to make your first day of school a little better (hopefully!) 💝 It’s prooobably not what you were expecting tbh 😅 I’M SORRY IT GOT OUT OF HAND WHILE COMING UP WITH IDEAS!
As always- if you don’t like it I’ll redo it!

IF the story cuts off for you - try this link! 
(For some reason this post seems to not work for some people and I can’t figure out why?!?!)

Varúlfur - part 1

Werewolf Jungkook x Reader
Words: ~3,500
Keywords: … Blood, Gore, Fear? I’M SORRY I SWEAR IT GETS BETTER

Originally posted by kpop-reads

He was frantically running. 
His paws were flying over the soft ground as if he was weightless as he followed the faint aroma he picked up earlier. The same smell that made him break all chains and escape his safe haven, a little house in the woods he had bought specifically for these nights. 

Full moon nights. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello, I was scrolling through your blog and I wanted to say that I love your art and your art style! I feel like you should put out content that you don't want to put out. You can never please everyone, but you shouldn't do things that you don't want to do!(: I hope I don't sound rude or pushy! I'm sorry you've been feeling this way lately as well, but I hope you figure everything out. Don't let yourself get lost trying to please others, it isn't worth it(: hope all turns out well!

this is a really really sweet message,, thank you :’)

Misery Never Goes Out Of Style: Chapter 10

Pairing: Eventual G Dragon x Reader.

Rating: Explicit.

Word Count: 3,226

Warnings: Angst and awkwardness.

Author’s Note: None. Just enjoy the weird shit that fell out of my head.

Listening to Save Me by BTS

Here’s the Misery Never Goes Out Of Style Masterlist

Here’s my masterlist.. but it’s mostly Supernatural

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Assalamualaikum brother! I have this one friend, who just confessed to me that she's gay. I definitely did not expect this at all as she's the type to completely cover her aurah and never missed a prayer before. I wanted to help her change by giving her advices but she stated that she didnt even to change because she thinks that boys are disgusting. Now, i completely don't know what to say to her. I wanted to advice but i'm not sure how without sounding rude or offending her..

Walaikum Salam,

I understand its a difficult situation, and sometimes it isn’t something that you can expect a person to change their feelings on.

What we must do is understand that homosexuality is forbidden in islam. Having homosexual feelings aren’t haram, but carrying out the sin is… and although your friend may have these feelings, as long as she does not commit the sins for the sake of pleasing Allah, you never know… she may have a higher rank than us in Jannah. She may choose to live a life of celibacy, and be closer to God, than to commit the sins.

She may be going through a really difficult struggle and you must be careful not to force her away from Islam by thinking that she “isn’t muslim” for having those feelings. Be there for her and support her when she needs it.

May Allah protect us from carrying out any sinful desires.

alright I’ll put aside my misgivings and give it a shot

like or rb this post and I’ll check out your blog

im a big fan of fire emblem and I have assorted other interests so if we have stuff in common and I feel like we might get along we can be nerds about things together and it’ll be great

standard disclaimers if you’re a prick or do/say unsavory things save us both time and don’t bother

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry if this is rude, its not my intent I just really want to respect your pronouns. I know you have they/them pronouns but what should we use in place of he/she? Like "Them is my favorite blog" doesn't really work... I just really want to respect your preferences and I don't know. I'm sorry if it sounds uneducated or awful...

no worries, love! in that instance, you would say “they are my favorite blog”. when using singular they, you still have to use plural verbs, because subject-verb agreement is a thing. when in doubt, you can always just try and rephrase what you’re trying to say in a way that makes sense to you, such as “their blog is my favorite”.

if this still doesn’t make sense, my friend, just message me and we can talk about it some more :D

anonymous asked:

Okay I've been following 19 days and I'm up to date on all the chapters, maybe I read it wrong but I don't remember jian yi going missing at all after getting kidnapped. Like where does it say he went missing during high school. Sorry if this sounds rude, but I'm genuinely confused. Like I see it mentioned all the time on tumblr and you mentioned it recently on a post so I figured I could ask. Thank you!

the first two panels show that jian yi disappears on the second day of high school & that he returns when zhan’s finished high school already (hs takes three years in china so jian yi will be gone for at least three years if not longer) and the third panel proofs that they’re in their third year of middle school right now :)


 i explained it in this ask too so check it out!! and don’t worry i don’t think you’re being rude ☺️

calligraphyi  asked:

HI THERE So I've seen some of your art around and your style is super cute, I love it. So what I wanted to come and ask is that I've been working on a story outline, but still have to get some kind of idea what the characters would look like so I can better describe them (using multiple perspectives from other people). So a) can I send that story in, and b) can you draw some characters?

I mean

I’m not a writer? Or a character designer. I really don’t think I can help much with that?

anonymous asked:

I believe you because you have a good taste in movies but is Wonder Woman actually good or is it only hyped up because Woman super hero and Woman director. I don't mean that in a rude anti feminst way I just can see people hyping it up for that very reason. I don't like the corny forced humour marvel films and I haven't enjoyed anything from the DCEU thus far. But it sounds like this is different yah? It's a difficult decision chosing what movie to see given how overpriced tickets are nowadays.

I can assure you that no one is saying Wonder Woman is great because they want it to be due to its female lead and woman director. People are saying Wonder Woman is great because it is genuinely great. It puts most other superhero movies to shame by truly focusing on character for a change, and that makes it incredibly refreshing. Wonder Woman is worth your money, and Patty Jenkins and her film do not deserve cynicism or suspicion. The movie is stellar and is being praised for the right reasons.