i don't remember being so emotional the first time i read it

Some Place Away

WS!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Roughly based on Ariana Grande’s Dangerous Woman

Word Count: +3k | Rating: R

Warnings: Angst, SMUT. UNPROTECTED SEX (wrap your wang, before you bang!)

A/N: alright, this was hard to write, and my head hurts but i was determined to write my first song fic and this is for KUMI!!! (@mellifluous-melodramas​) my wifey! OMG I’M NERVOUS HOE

(also, i’ve added ‘///’ where the smut starts and ends)

y’all, enjoy and do drop a comment in my ask box or anywhere

Masterlist here

(*gifs are not mine)


Somewhere in London, January 28, 1992; 12.47am.

You lean on the lamp post, far from them on the empty street, your gaze never leaving his form as you watch your soldier talking to another woman, who was rather getting a little too handsy with him. Her delicate fingers brushing up over his prosthetic arm, treating it like a delicate, poor little flower.

It disgusts you to no end and your violent mind thinks of all the scenarios where you’d do anything to keep her away from him. Keep everything, everyone away from him. But you know he’s only doing his job, the one that HYDRA forced him to do.

But there are so many other ways of gathering information. You could have taken matters in your own hand, but since the Soldier was granted the liberty for this mission, he thought it could be done without any sort of destruction, which you would never hesitate to cause.

It has been half an hour since they’re talking and as much as you wanted to ignore the sting in your heart, your brain overtakes your feelings and reminds you once again that you’re nothing but the protector; you’re here just to keep an eye on the asset. Any other sort of attachment would cost you both your lives.

Keep reading

★ lvtvr’s long-winded writing advice ★

Heyo. I’m Charlie and I write. You may know me for my Keith/Lance fanfics. I don’t know if it helps my credibility, but I have articles in print that I’ve been paid to produce, I’ve translated and proofread four novels, and I’ve been writing off and on for nearly eighteen years. I’m not perfect, I’m not a master, but I do know what I’m doing. So if you write too, and you want to get better, here are some of the things I’ve learned.

Less is more.

You know the quote “Blood orange? Shut up, it’s fucking red.” Remember this while you’re writing. If you’ve ever seen one of those “100 synonyms for ‘said’ to use while writing :)” lists, here’s what to do with it: burn it. No one utters or opines or verbalizes shit. They fucking say it.

Basically: use vocabulary that you know. Turn to big fancy words if you are certain that they’re the best way to express the nuance you’re going for, but avoid them if you’re only using them to make your prose more “interesting.” Don’t worry about sounding a little repetitive. Sounding pretentious or like someone who hangs out too much on Thesaurus.com is a lot worse.

Remember your whole body.

Ever read writing that punches you in the gut and makes you feel things? Ever aspired to create something like that yourself? Well, the key to doing it is to remember the body. Stay aware of the fact that we exist in the world as messy 3D beings made of blood and meat and emotion. 

It’s natural for most people to start with visual impressions and describe what things look like, but your writing won’t start to come alive until you also begin describing what they feel like, smell like, taste like. The five senses are a cheesy but effective checklist. Throw in sounds, smells, and body sensations alongside the visual aspect.

This goes for emotion, too. If your character is sad, think back to what you felt like when you were sad. Heavy gut? Rain clouds in your head? Tears pricking at the backs of your eyes, but never quite falling? All that is a lot more interesting than simply saying “they were sad.”

For the love of God, never type “Hello.” He said.

This falls under the general umbrella of using correct grammar (which you should!), but I feel the need to point this particular faux pas out because a) it’s soooo common for people to do this, and b) I can’t stand it. This is the type of persistent mistake that actively interferes with the flow of the writing for me as a reader. I don’t care if some big-name fic author does it or if you’ve seen a million others do it – you’ll never find it in a professionally proofread and edited book. Because, at the end of the day, it’s wrong.

Compare these two examples:

“This sucks.” She sighed.
“This sucks,” she sighed.

In the first example, she says the words first, and sighs afterward. In the second, she’s sighing the words. Simple difference. If the action is directly related to how the dialogue is being conveyed, it should come attached to the dialogue. If the action and dialogue are separate, separate them. Throwing in a bunch of loose, orphaned “He said” clauses is choppy and incorrect and pisses me off to an irrational degree. Please, please avoid this. I’m begging you on my hands and knees.

Focus your characterization.

Keeping characters in character is one of the biggest challenges of writing. I find that an easy way to stay on track is to summarize the character’s way of reacting to the world in one or two simple sentences, and when you’re not sure what they would say or do, try to keep it in line with that basic conception. 

For example, I’ve characterized Keith from Voltron as someone who “feels things very strongly and honestly, but has trouble putting his emotions into words.” My Hunk is “prone to gossip, but has a heart of gold and the strongest sense of justice you ever saw.” I keep this minimalist notion of a character at the front of my mind when I write them, and it usually helps them stay themselves.

Try to keep it general, though. “Passionate about food,” “flirts a lot,” or “in love with Mothman” aren’t basic personalities, they’re character traits. They don’t tell us anything about how someone will act in a given situation, and make for poor, flat characterization.

Write what you want to read.

No, really. I know that the urge to pander is strong, as is the desire to give the people what they want. But you’re people, too. Give yourself what you want. Is this hard? You bet. But it’s worth it when someone tells you “God, reading this is so refreshing. I’m so glad it wasn’t exactly like everything else.”

Voltron-specific stuff incoming here, but I feel like it’s important. Listen. Don’t write a fic where Keith and Lance have one (1) drawn-out argument before falling in hapless, sappy love, where Keith and Shiro are brothers and Hunk and Pidge are the Hilarious Meme Sidekicks, just because you feel like you have to. If you’re really passionate about that scenario, then by all means write it, but don’t do it because you’re afraid that’s all people are going to want to read. It’s not true. More likely than not, they’re sick of reading the same fic for the millionth time, and they’d love to see your take on things.

Remember: Fanon isn’t the law. Not even canon is the law. Follow your kokoro. Go weird places. You do you. I will be cheering you on.


Kudos to you if you read this entire mess. I hope it could be of some help. Now go write! I believe in you, friendo.

Antis, really now?
  • It's funny how Antis never bring up anything important to the table.
  • >Killing Stalking is written by a straight woman.
  • -How do you know she's straight? You complain about representation mattering, but you're doing the exact same thing to the people you simultaneously hate. You're assuming that Koogi is a straight woman. She's never publicized her sexuality and if she did:
  • What does it matter to her work? It's a god damn sexuality, not her personality or skills that actually mean something.
  • >Killing Stalking is fetishizes rape.
  • -Bum was raped by his Uncle in chapter 26, it was confirmed. He suffers from traumatic anxiety from it to a point where he's suicidal and has cut himself. Yeah, that's fucking fetishizing right there ain't it boys?
  • >Koogi is a woman who (...) !
  • -Funny that majority of you identify as feminists yet, a woman is making something serious and popular and contributing to society. Isn't that empowering, at least that's what I thought your little agenda says. Aren't you being a little bit opposite of what you're preaching? Or am I being mysogynistic by stating a fact?
  • >Killing Stalking is ableist.
  • -Ableist? If anything, it's bringing a serious topic into perspective. Bum canonly had BPD, he had no medical attention or Psychological help. Not to mention that he's a rape and abuse victim. As well as Sangwoo Oh, a child abuse victim. Both grew up in unhealthy and unstable environments. Bum ran away from his uncle for a night just to escape before the traumatic events. It's mirroring a reality that many people live through, being too poor to afford medical attention, how rape is taken lightly by society, and how childhood events can affect adulthood. Killing Stalking isn't ableist, it's the exact fucking opposite.
  • >Killing Stalking isn't good representation!
  • -Killing Stalking wasn't written to represent shit. You know that people can write to write and can write to mirror reality that makes the reader/viewer think. Which rarely any one of you seem to do.
  • >Killing Stalking art style sucks!
  • -Let's learn how to properly critique ladies and gents!
  • First off, Koogi is developing a different style than previous in issues 1-3. I believe her anatomy could use some work, if she's looking for a more realistic approach she should try mimicking the styles of realism and study different forms of male anatomy. As well as different perspectives and angles, from further analysis her experience seems to be more sexual appeal with younger characters and more disgusting with older, excluding the idea of Bum. I believe if she equalized this idea of appeal throughout her characters and personalities of different characters it'd create a unique range.
  • As for setting, her backgrounds are lack luster and need more detailing such as in the wood works and in wall panels. She needs to study accurate textures and it will make her work look much less rushed in the long run.
  • The overuse of red is something that hurts the eye rather than any other colour. Different colors portray emotion like blue for sad and yellow for happy. If she uses a different colour overlay for certain strips her work would have much better aesthetic qualities.
  • >All Killing Stalking fans are white straight girls who aren't disabled.
  • -Huh, funny. I'm a Bisexual female and disabled, does that mean I don't exist? Rude, antis.
  • Jokes aside,
  • People are welcome to enjoy Killing Stalking no matter what race, gender, sexuality, religion, or background they're from.
  • A fan is a fan, no matter what.
  • >Killing Stalking cosplayers are ugly.
  • -Do you have the bravery to post your mug on the internet or the effort to share your cosplay? Didn't think so, pussy.
  • >Fiction effects reality!
  • -It mirrors reality, there's a difference.
  • >Let's harass Koogi and her fans.
  • -Didn't Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr. , and many others preach that violence is never the answer to solving an issue? I don't remember violence ever solving anything. It's a damn comic, no one is forcing you to read it!
  • You guys are bigger fans than the Killing Stalking fans since you seemingly obsess over it more. You're gonna fire back with the same points over and over again.
  • And how I know that I just called your asses out is because majority of you are going to go:
  • -: )))))
  • -fuck u ableist bitch
  • -it IS homophobic fuck you
  • -uhm??? It is,,
  • -*insert hormonal 15 year old anger here*
  • That's how I know you don't have an argument because all of you are carbon copies of each other. It's funny that you waste your time hating a comic instead of finding another interest.
  • Because face it:
  • You're just as pathetic as the blogs you made hating on the media.
Accidental Kissing

Hi there! I’ve really wanted to start incorporating writing into my blog and this is my first real attempt. I wrote this on my own, and it’s just some phan fluff, but I’d love to write more if you guys want to send prompts or anything like that <3

Summary: Phil has a crush on Dan and during a gaming video Phil might accidentally kiss him.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone or anything in this writing other than the writing itself

Please don't repost this anywhere or claim it as your own <3

~~~~

Keep reading

veganism by proxy and dangers of assumption

this is unrelated to anything else on my blog and mostly likely no one will ever read it and that’s okay I think I just need to get it out of my head and into the living world

Three of my best friends, two of whom I live with, are vegan. Their friends are vegan and their friend’s friends are vegan, and they work at vegan restaurants and we cook vegan, I bake them vegan treats and we generally have a fantastic time. I’m not vegan, but I’ve always eaten vegan food and tried out alternatives whenever I can. I’ve never been the type to make fun of vegan stereotypes, because I think it requires a lot of dedication, passion, and effort to be vegan. I’m not a huge meat eater and I try to be aware of what I’m eating and where it came from and the process it took to get to my mouth, while still indulging in the foods I love and the tastes that make live worth living. dramatic? absolutely but I really fucking love food y'all

None of my friends have ever tried to convert me or (that I know of) judge me or my eating habits, but every so often I meat someone (heh) who isn’t satisfied with my usual answer of “I’m not vegan, but I cook and eat vegan often” and feel the need to go “well why don’t you just go vegan then?”

Does asking someone about their personal choices becomes less personal when it’s something you care a lot about? I don’t think so, but that might not be a shared opinion.

The girl who asked this (this time, because there’s definitely been others) didn’t just drop it once I said “Ah, just personal reasons. I think it’s an incredible movement though and I’m glad it’s gaining popularity.” because that would’ve been too polite. She pressed on.

“But if you think it’s so incredible why wouldn’t you just do it? You say you love animals, but you’re contributing to their murder. You’re just a hypocrite.”
So I said what I initially didn’t want to, because I knew it would just make a semi-pleasant conversation into an awkward silence all because this girl doesn’t know how to respect other people’s choices without disparaging them.

“Well I had a severe eating disorder for seven years, so I stay away from restricting or cutting foods out of my diet. It puts me into a dangerous mindset, so I try to be conscious of that and take care of myself before anything.”

Even after saying this I felt I was still being judged. She had the decency to look a little embarrassed for prying, but I don’t necessarily believe she left thinking “maybe I should stop assuming I know the intricacies of strangers’ lives”. Which is what it all comes down to. Assumptions.

I love animals. Animals have been what showed me true love, what taught me understanding and helped me find happiness and purpose ever since I was young. My cat died years ago and I still break out in tears (regularly). What’s more is I have been vegan, and every time I do it I think I’ll be able to handle it, and every time I’ve ended up underweight, restricting, anemic, in the hospital, or with a severely disordered way of thinking. It happens eventually with any change in diet I try. I don’t like having to explain to someone why I think it’s important to put myself, my mental health, and my physical wellbeing first. We all have deeply personal decisions about our lives that we have to make. It’s up to us as individuals to decide how our (very short) experience on this world will be.

I try not to share my stances and opinions on tumblr and just stay for the fun things I love like anime, humor, video games, art. I feel as if I have a lot of grey area stances that aren’t emotion driven (and therefore come off as cold or unfeeling) and people online generally don’t like hearing morally ambiguous viewpoints, because there’s always going to be someone who disagrees, right? I hope this isn’t taken as an anti-vegan post, because it isn’t. Veganism is an amazing movement and lifestyle that’s saving lives, water, resources and more. This is an anti-judgement post, though. It’s anti-assumption. Assumption is a toxic part of our culture. It’s assuming you know how someone else thinks. It’s assuming you understand what they’ve been through to bring themselves to a certain stance or choice or belief.


If even one person read this, thanks man. If even one person remembers this and thinks of it while practicing patience with an opposing viewpoint (no matter how passionate you are on the subject) I’ll be stupid happy.

Three years ago I was dealing with a bout of depression. It was not unusual, I’ve had depression and anxiety for almost as long as I can remember. But this bout followed my thirtieth birthday. I was not upset about turning thirty. I did not think my life was over or that my youth was behind me. Rather, I was in the middle of an amazing year full of the freedom that came with stepping away from religious oppression, finding my own faith and defining what that meant to me, and coming off of a year of painful fertility drugs and the decision not to continue treatment. I’d honestly never felt better.

And yet … depression.

I got that apathetic kind of depression where nothing seems fun or exciting or even remotely attention grabbing enough to pull me out of bed. I was just … stuck. I was missing something. 

As I do when I’m in a depression, I binged watched things. On a random Saturday, I stumbled upon Deathly Hallows Part One playing on ABC Family, likely during one of their marathons. 

“God I forgot how much I fucking love these movies.”

I’d seen almost every one in theatre. He-Man had read the books religiously (and even worked at a book store during the release of the first few). I knew the general plot because he is utterly incapable of NOT sharing things with me when he’s reading. So when the movies came out, of course we went. He fumed and fumed in his seat over missing characters and twisted plotlines, and I laughed and laughed until some random kid behind me loudly whispered to his friend “That’s the one that dies at the end” when Cedric Diggory first appeared on screen. (Seriously. WTF, you little brat?)

Rather than read the books, I’d spent time playing on Pottermore and the wiki pages learning ingredients to potions and the etymology behind the spells. I loved the world that JKR created, but I suck when it comes to reading fiction. My attention span (especially in my twenties) was garbage. 

So in the last week of June 2014, I borrowed my mother-in-law’s DVDs of the movies and binged them all. I laughed, I cried, I FELT something for the first time in weeks. Emotions. Feeling. Life. Magic. 

“I want to read the books now. I need to read the books.”

So I read them. I read several chapters every night out loud while my husband played video games. I laughed when he cried. He laughed when I cried. I did voices, and we argued over exactly how pompous Lockhart should sound. I gasped during parts that were not in the movies. “Why is Molly being such a bitch to Sirius?” “Wait, who are all these other elves?” “Dumbledore’s a shit. I’m glad he’s dead!” “OMG Tonks. OMG Fred. OMG Remus. OMG I hate this so much.”

And I loved it.

I loved it so much. 

I felt like an addict waiting for my husband to get home each night so I could keep reading. I begged him, “Just two more chapters. I’m almost done with this book!” even as I LITERALLY lost my voice in the middle of Deathly Hallows. 

Then, like magic, I remembered that the story didn’t have to end. I’d been RPing written stories with friends for two decades, and I’d stumbled into fanfiction from time to time. So I knew what sites to go to.

I read epilogue continuations first. I wanted to know what happened after. Then I thought, “I wonder what if …?” And I fell head first into the deep end of Dramione, Marauders, and a crap ton of Marriage Law and Time-Turner fics.

“I have an idea. I want to be apart of this. I think I have a story in me.”

And three years later, I have a life. A hobby. A PASSION. I’ve made amazing friends, rebuilt a really fucked up self esteem and sense of pride, learned a lot about grammar and story structure, and helped to add building blocks to a fandom that saved me. 

I can’t believe it’s been three years.

Thank you all, for some of the best three years of my life.

♥♥♥ Shaya ♥♥♥

adlethstillio  asked:

A week ago I thought I had my anxiety under control.... ButT today I feel like I don't deserve to be called "adult" and this morning felt like I couldn't handle any more. THEN I learned that my psychiatrist bill is $700, not the $40 copay I was expecting. I know there are ups and downs, but fuck. This down hurts. A lot. I'm back to some obsessive tendencies I haven't done in months. Any tips for the down days?

I am so sorry. That sucks.

When I have down days, I do the best I can (being gentle with myself, and forgiving, because what is my best varies from day to day) to remember that this isn’t the first time I’ve had a down day, and to give myself credit for making it through.

“Ah, but that was different, this time is THE WORST,” your brain will say. And then we have to remember that our brain says that every single time, because depression lies.

I try to remember (and so I try to help others remember) that you don’t deserve this crap. This isn’t happening because of something you did or didn’t do; it’s just the way our brains are wired.

I focus on doing cognitive behavioral therapy, which is basically identifying a negative emotion (sadness, despair, etc.) and focusing on something awesome that made me happy, to replace it. For example, I may read a news story about one of my friends getting a gig I desperately wanted, and instead of being super happy for them, I’ll feel sad for me. When that happens, I have to deliberately think about and remember the specific emotional experience I had when I did something cool that I felt good about. I do my best to relive it, sort of turning up the mental volume on it, until I can’t hear (feel) the bad stuff.

That’s oversimplifying it, and maybe I’m not explaining it well, but it’s one tool that works for me.

I notice that, in your ask, you didn’t say anything about giving up or stopping therapy, and I wanted you to know that I’m proud of you for refusing to be a victim, and for sticking with your treatment and therapy to take good care of yourself.

Check in with me and let me know how you’re doing in a few days, okay? I promise you that it will get better. You are stronger than you think.

anonymous asked:

hi ! i read through all your fic recs and i was hoping you might have some more ? i don't read smut myself, so i really like the ones you rec ^^

omg hi, sweetpea!! but yes, i do have some new recs in my likes that i haven’t been able to add to my recs page! also, thank you for giving me another reason to procrastinate from midterm studying, much love ♡

♣︎ blazing arrows by @daddychiminie

[ jimin x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst, future smut | supernatural au ]

part one. part two. part three. to be continued.

it’s a cupid au, and i really enjoy it so far. jimin is cupid and made a mistake by hitting you with an arrow, so he comes down to fix it, and i just really enjoy the playful bantering between the reader and jimin, and it’s so cute. the grocery scene is really adorable in part two, and i laughed way too hard at the magazine incident and the cart scene, oh god, i just really want a boyfriend to do that with me after reading that. AND I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU POSTED PART THREE SO BE RIGHT BACK, GOING TO READ THAT NOW.

edit: okay i have finished reading part three, and i’m on the floor from all the feels. i have never felt anything for jimin before, but gosh darn it, this is desperately making me want a hug from him. 

♣︎ the thing about love by @zephyoongist

[ taehyung x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst | college au ]

oneshot.

I’M STILL SO SALTY OVER THIS, PABLO. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. but anyway, it’s still so very beautifully written and i cry, why do you do this to me and my poor, nonexistent heart?? taehyung is such a angelic and godly human being, he doesn’t deserve this.

♣︎ why people fall in love by @zephyoongist

[ jungkook x reader | fluff | friends with benefits / fake dating au ]

oneshot.

because anything and everything fae writes is magical and wonderful even though she does annoy me about jungcocky all the time. i remember reading this a long time ago, and i said she wasn’t going to love him back, and then you yelled at me. good times.

♣︎ love in colors by @lushguk

[ taehyung x reader | angst, fluff | soulmate / reincarnation au ]

oneshot.

gosh, i love mel so much, and her writing is so so breath taking. this is one of my absolute favorites because art and taehyung? my two passions lmao. i remember throwing my bunny plushie in frustration and then apologizing to it after i read the airport scene.

♣︎ the first and last of us by @lushguk

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut, angst | childhood bestfriends au ]

oneshot.

let me just lay here and die from the overwhelming amount of emotions i felt after reading this. mel has completely wrecked me with this, and her writing gives such a nostalgic and melancholic feeling that left me wanting to cry a waterfall. i’m pretty sure i screamed about this scenario to her too much.

♣︎ the pistol star by @kairoseok

[ jungkook x reader feat. hoseok | angst, fluff | supernatural au ]

oneshot.

this is a combination of astrology and beautiful beings, and i’m so in awe over this. just the way it was written and how every detail was crafted so intricately had me reading and rereading this scenario over and over again. her writing is really quite phenomenal and unique.

♣︎ 2 assholes play cards against humanity by @cosykims

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | youtuber au ]

oneshot.

because i love cards against humanity and because this is hilarious and cute and i love it. and also because her photoshopping skills for yoongi’s channel is incredible. and i rec her hogwarts!bts bulletpoint scenarios too!! i think i recced them before, but i gotta do it again because they’re amazing and i’m still in love with them.

♣︎ caffeine, crimson cheeks, and cashiers by @cinnaminsvga

[ taehyung x reader | fluff | college au ]

oneshot.

because i love fluff and happy endings, and tae is the cutest, and i can relate to this scenario on so many levels right now. “to noodle or not to noodle, that is the question” is too real. i’m questioning myself that at this very moment. where can i shop to get a cute cashier!tae to ring me up with a date??

 ♣︎ i want to kiss you (i know it’s 2 am) by @1rapmon

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | slice of life au ]

oneshot.

i honestly lost track of how many times i read this scenario because it’s so amazing and shows the dynamics of their relationship so wonderfully. gosh, the dialogue is so great, and i found myself smiling the entire time whilst reading this. del my soft and radiant goddess, ily to the moon and back.

♣︎ the countdown by @dreamscript

[ taehyung x reader feat. yoongi | fluff | slice of life au ]

oneshot.

taehyung is overdramatic, you’re amused, and yoongi is just so done with everything. oh, and throw in a dying confession. this scenario holds such a special place in my heart, and ily, rys, the other half of #rat and all hail rysism. rys writes my favoritest scenarios that have the best mix between fluff and comedy.

♣︎ in watercolor by @annyeongs

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut | photographer au ]

oneshot.

i love love loooove mia, the prettiest babe in the universe!! i also love love loooove her writing and how everything she types is so poetic and lovely and makes me feel happy. in this scenario, the reader is called art by yoongi, and yoongi is actual art, but mia is the true masterpiece here.

anonymous asked:

Hey ^^. I've seen the spoiler, and i'm really confused now. According to the spoiler someone arrives, soma opens the door and gets shot. Soma even speaks such line as "If you don't hurry up, I'll have the desserts all by myself", "You don't look well, is something wrong?", I mean he must be talking to ciel, at least he thinks so. But the carriage looks different, besides, i don't think Ciel wants to kill Soma. So Is it the twin? By the way, I can't see the twin's purpose in killing Soma

Hey Anon :) A translation got out by now so I hope you read the new chapter before reading my response. To answer your question, basically I agree with @akumadeenglish‘s post:

  • Seeing Soma’s reaction, it’s someone he has met before
  • but at the same time I really doubt it’s our!Ciel because Soma’s reaction was more lukewarm compared to how he generally reacts to Ciel (even if the last time we saw Ciel & Seb, Seb said they were going back to the house). 

Of course there are other possibilities at this point, but since it feels like the more we get into this arc the less things we speculated on make sense, personally I’m trying to avoid crack theorizing too much and so I’ll bet on the twin (probably Lord Sirius) for now. :)

As for what’s the purpose of the twin (if that’s him) for trying to kill Soma, well, that’s just my opinion but…

If we say that somehow Ciel sacrificed his twin 4 years ago (even if I don’t know exactly how that happened), which is why Seb appeared in the first place, if the twin survived/became a BD and was told/remembered about what happened, maybe he decided to take revenge on Ciel because of what happened 4 years ago and of Ciel taking his identity?

A revenge that would include:

  • shooting Soma, because he is Ciel’s “friend” even if Ciel doesn’t agree on that
  • but also taking Lizzie away from him (through emotional manipulation because she is probably very pained and confused)
  • all that in order to hurt our!Ciel.

I mean, some readers will never agree on that, but I think Soma’s words in the new chapter about Ciel are spot on:

Ciel already lost his parents (and twin) 4 years ago + Ann a year ago now, so take away the few people Ciel actually still cares about (Lizzie mostly, but maybe Soma to some extent as well, since they’ve known each other for a year now) and it would be easy to hurt him, no matter how much he pretends not to care at all. 

That’s how I see it for now anyway so I hope it’s understandable and I’m sorry if it’s not, since there are still a lot of things I can’t be sure about (namely UT’s role in all this, I’m just not sure of anything anymore).

Thanks for passing by and have a nice Kuro positivity day tomorrow, Anon :3 


Hey Anon! And I guess it’s different for everyone, depending on what you’re skeptical/didn’t like about the 2CT?
When I see how the more we get into this arc the less we can be sure of anything, I think it’s sure that Yana actually planned it long ago so that it would supposedly make sense, so I’m giving her a chance to convince me until this arc is over. :)

Personally, even if I don’t like the hidden twin trope (simply because it’s not my fav option when it comes to fiction), I’ll be more or less okay with the 2CT as long as:

  1. the main plot, current arc and future arcs still make sense storytelling-wise 

  2. the twin creates drama because he’s supposed to be a villain and not a poor little angel who just was a victim all along (seeing as he possibly just shot Soma/Agni tho, I’m not so worried about that point xD)

  3. the characters (namely Lizzie and UT) still make sense with everything that we learnt about them so far, UT being the one I’m the most worried about recently (since I’m not sure anymore of where he fits in the current arc).

That’s what I’m asking of Kuroshitsuji in general anyway, so it’s not just because the 2CT is becoming canon, even if I might become a bit more intransigent about character developments in the future (because the cast is the main reason I like Kuroshitsuji as much as I do). 

Sorry if that doesn’t help but thanks for passing by and happy Kuro positivity day to you for tomorrow, Anon :3

anonymous asked:

help i need help!!! i'm on season 2 ep 5 rn, and i really want to like lance but i can't :(( i just find him annoying and obnoxious and i don't know how to like him. please help?

Don’t worry, but I am so sorry this is probably going to be long…

Lance has many qualities that I endear, he’s funny, intelligent, selfless, and quite frankly he is the heart of the team. “The blue lion is… it seems to be the lion that I most associate with like, holding the team together. There’s something about teamwork with the blue lion. Like […] about providing what’s needed at the time, and being flexible, which I think is kind of a little bit of the water element of the blue lion. It ties into being a leg, too, you know. Legs are all about support.” [x]

Lance is honestly one of my favorite characters ever…

Lance is incredibly selfless even in the littlest of ways. In S1EP4 He is able to figure out quite fast that Rover was not the actual Rover thus throwing himself and shielding Coran causing himself to be badly injured then later during the fight despite almost nearly dying, when his teammates are in trouble he emerges from his coma and is able to make an amazing shot at the enemy before passing back out. Another time this happens is in S1EP9, Lance out right believes the castle in haunted and is scared yet when a voice that sounds like Coran cries out for help, Lance immediately straightens up, forgetting all fear to rescue Coran and runs to the source of the voice. Another display of this is when He doesn’t want to worry the rest of his teammates (He excuses himself from the party so he doesn’t sour the mood because he was feeling homesick in S1EP4) which I think is why he rather be known as the person who can lighten the mood/class clown of the team, making it easier for him to bottle up his emotions and not cause unnecessary trouble to everyone.

Lance is actually humble. Lance wants to be seen as a hero, but in reality that’s not who he thinks he actually is. He may want the parades, glory, and to be seen as the best but when it comes down to it, does he think he actually is worthy of it? Not really and that shows in S2EP2 when he is captured by the mermaids and they call him their savior. You can see it in his face, the worry and question because woah why me? You think I’m your savior? I’m just Lance. Then when the mermaids say “We believe you can stop her”, his face shifts into an uneasy expression probably because he doesn’t believe he could actually stop her. “He’s kind of cool, but he’s kind of a goof,” continued Montgomery. “I like Lance because he feels the most human. He’s got those insecurities, but he tries so hard to cover them up. That’s what’s kind of fun about him. He wants to be the cool guy. He wants it so bad, but not exactly…” [x]
In S2EP10, He thinks so highly of all his teammates, complimenting each of them and bragging about them to a complete stranger, but when he gets to himself he pauses and thinks perhaps he’s not as great as how he sees the rest of his fellow paladins. But my gosh, Lance is much more than meets the eye. 

Lance is so smart. Lance in canon is good at reading people and the situation, he has an awareness of others and is able to make pretty good calls. We see a lot of it in the very first episode and more of it whenever Shiro is absent. Without most of us fully realizing, Lance is able to step up his leadership game and is able to give out orders to the rest of the team, and make calm, collected decisions. Lance is able to put one and two together and come up with plans quickly. In S1EP7, He stops Keith from being reckless and hurting the Balmera, coming up with a great alternative plan that is successful, not once, but twice during that episode. “But also, he does evolve. There’s aspects to his character that will start coming more into the forefront as the series goes on. You’ll see him take steps to real leadership material.” [x] And this is only the beginning of the show, we have to remember we only have two seasons released out of the planned six. We still have so much more to look forward to in regards of Lance’s growth.

I love Lance’s dynamic because yes he is a goof ball and he probably doesn’t pick the best times to crack a joke, but he’s exceedingly a talented marksman, and not only the heart of Team Voltron, but the heart of the show itself. I love Lance, not because he’s perfect but because he isn’t. Which is why I think many people project onto him. He’s so human. He is flawed but is constantly growing, adapting, and learning from his mistakes.

kayla-ships-klaine-and-destiel  asked:

for the meta thing, have you done the dark one fight yet? y'know when emma finds killian after she turns him into the dark one and he just feels so betrayed? i love that scene!

The dark one fight is definitely one of my top favourite moments… because I am an angst whore.

Just a quick reminder - these are simply my thoughts and perceptions of the scenes, i’m in no way saying i’m right and i’m definitely not saying it’s exactly what happened. It’s purely my own interpretation and i’ve no doubt that most would probably disagree with my views. But please try to remember that these are only being made for fun and not to be taken seriously in any way.

Also this is probably the longest one i’ve done. You’ve been warned!!

And with that said, we shall begin!

He may be newly darkened, angry and hurting right now… but Killian Jones is still at the forefront. 

He still won’t see any harm come to Emma, even if he is upset with her right now.

He certainly won’t kill her to get his revenge.

Emma’s completely oblivious to just how upset he is. She’s just thankful it worked and he’s still alive.

But he soon clues her in. 

This is the first time we see Killian truly angry at Emma and expressing his feelings. And I think it’s great tbh.

This was one thing he asked of her, begged of her, and she refused him.

Emma’s trying to calm him, I don’t think she truly realises just yet what she’s done to him - she seems very relieved that her plan worked, and because it did, she’s more determined and sure than ever that they’re going to be fine.

They’ll get rid of the darkness together. 

This bit I find really interesting. 

He’s just asked her about excalibur, and Emma’s told him a lie. Rumple is of course meddling, but look at killian’s face there.

It’s quite similar to the face he has when he realises she’s after something from him on his ship.

He’s reading her.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i really liked your meta about sansa/littlefinger but i found out you ship sansan :/ don't you think that what he's doing to her is at least a little bit abusive? sexually and emotionally? their relationship is SO disturbing and creepy, he's a grown ass man clearly sexually & romantically attracted to an 11/12 year old girl, WHY would you ship it???? i don't understand.

First, thank you for liking my meta.  Here’s the thing… I wrote that meta based on textual analysis and in response to how the book community discusses Sansa’s complicated and conflicting feelings toward LF.  Many people mistakenly believe this is Sansa becoming his protege.  I did not write it with the intention of telling some shippers why they are “wrong.”     

As far as shipping goes, I’m a very ship and let ship person.  This is even when, and especially when, it’s a ship I find weird or distasteful.  I stay in my little sandbox and I don’t pay attention to (let alone try to police) what other people want to ship.  I’m too old to be barking up that tree.  I’d rather spend time writing metas or my own fanfic.  Now if I actually am going to argue with anyone on the internet, it’s going to be about the actual ASOIAF text with evidence to back up my position.  Even then I’m highly unlikely to seek out such a debate but on a rare occasion some land on my doorstep.  So…

As to your questions, let me start with the age issue first.  Let me be clear in real life such a relationship would be criminal and immoral, as it should be.  But this is a fictional world where there are vastly different ideas of what is age appropriate.  Remember, the proper way to raise your seven-year-old boy is to take him to a beheading and make him watch everything without flinching (and that’s from our beloved Ned).  I have yet to meet anyone who cried child abuse over this or stopped reading at that point.  So I don’t put too much emphasis on chronological age in questions of morality in the series.  

What I do look at is Sansa’s level of maturity and understanding of relationships and sex.  I do care about her agency.  I don’t ship Sansan (or ship her with anyone) in the early books because she’s still mentally a child and an abused prisoner of war.  I want her to come to her own decisions about what she wants at her own pace, on her own terms.  The good news is GRRM does too.  He rightly separated them at the night of the Blackwater to evolve independently, but parallel to one another.  Alayne II in AFFC is my favorite chapter of this transition to womanhood and maturity, contemplations on sex and love from a young woman’s perspective. 

 I would highly recommend this non-shipper essay on Sansa’s Sexual Maturation by sweetsunray that deals with the unkiss and Sansa figuring out what she wants. (pssst!  It’s Sandor).  A large part of her struggle is coming to accept the fact that what she does want is not the ideal as she always believed it would be.  The books are full of people just wanting who they want and it has nothing to do with the ideal standards.      

Do I think Sandor is abusive to Sansa? Like Joffrey and Littlefinger are abusive toward her?  No.  Definitely not.  I think he was at times impatient and frustrated with her superficiality, naivete, and immaturity.  He’s too uncompromising and overly harsh at times with the truth as he sees it.  Yet, Sansa is not afraid to challenge him when he’s being awful.  She is totally afraid of saying the wrong thing in front of Joffrey or Littlefinger.  

The only reason Sandor cares at all about her is that she cared first.  She responded to his secret, his vulnerability with compassion.  For once in his life, someone took his side after the system rewarded his brother and failed him.  It’s not at this point anything romantic or sexual for either of them.  He responds to her compassion by being protective and supportive through her abuse.  She reawakens in him a desire to be better.  He’s a jaded idealist, not a nihilist.  He does seek out her attention because he does crave a connection with someone, even if he can’t people around her.   He doesn’t want the intimacy to end because of his loud and clumsy mishandling.  He’s also frustrated with himself that he even wants a connection in the first place because he hates/fears the vulnerability that comes with it.  He’s a ball of conflicting emotions about her that he has no experience in how to sort out.  It’s very important that Sandor is written as someone who is as inexperienced in relationships as Sansa.  It levels the playing field between them.    

It’s not until Sansa has obviously started developing into a woman that he even notices her in that way (because the whole castle has).  He’s very drunk and he blurts out the inappropriate comment about her body.  It’s a very bungled attempt at flirting coming from someone who is also very emotionally stunted.  BUT… after talking with her he realizes that mentally she is still very innocent.  He knows it’s wrong, so he backtracks out of there as fast as he can, falling into an awkward silence.  That is the very worst of anything sexual that actually happens between them and he backs off.  Even the night of the Blackwater he is very drunk and his behavior is scary and wildly inappropriate, but it never crossed the line into permanent damage.  He never actually did anything sexual to her. He also could have forced her to go with him, but he did not.  She made her choice, it hurt, but in the end, he respected her decision to not go with him.  Do I think maybe he wanted to kiss her?  Yeah, probably.  But he didn’t.  He is not Gregor.  He is not a rapist.  He cares about her autonomy.  He cares about her consent even if he kind lost his mind (from trauma) for a minute there which he really, really regretted.  

This all says problematic to me, not creepy.  There are issues to overcome.  Good!  Bring it on!  That makes a story.  Littlefinger is creepy.  He totally does not care about her consent, boundaries, or discomfort to say the very least.  Men of all different ages have groped her, forced kisses on her, stripped her, beat her, and have attempted to rape her.   

If you don’t ship Sansan that’s totally fine by me.  If it doesn’t speak to you, that’s cool.  Ship and let ship.  I will say Sansa x whoever shippers are probably going to be very disappointed come TWOW.  All the mountains of text evidence point to future Sansan.  I got a huuuuuge meta coming out soon that deals with all that complete with tons of evidence to back up my analysis. Bottom line, I ship future Sansan because GRRM ships it and Sansa ships it.  Whatever makes that baby girl happy I want her to have.  The good news is when the author reunites them it will be when they are both really ready and have dealt with the respective issues that made an earlier relationship a terrible idea.                             

anonymous asked:

jess! any chance you have any drarry fics you could rec that are on the happier/fluffier side? I haven't read many so anything you can think of I would appreciate! thanks in advance :)

DO I EVER, ANON!!!! :’’) I haven’t read much fic in general lately so most of these I’ve talked about before I’m sure, but they’re all SO GOOD they deserve to be recced repeatedly!!!

[CRACKING KNUCKLES]

  • All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (and corresponding *incredible* podfic-  if the idea of isolated professor draco malfoy slowly learning to integrate himself into hogwarts, make friends, and ~fall in luv~ warms the cockles of your heart, READ!! THIS!!! FIC!!!
    • featuring a) harry spelling draco’s eyebrows bright gryffindor red b) draco’s pet beetle stanley tacking his way through life c) one of the most heartwarming and Soft™ slow burns of all time
  • Stop and Stare by Saras_Girl - “This is not a story full of drama or conflict or clothes being ripped off in a frenzy. It is about peace and about that creeping sort of love that sneaks up on you while you think you are busy doing other things.”
    • ^ aka everything I ever want ever
    • draco runs an animal sanctuary. harry agrees to build him a shed. includes at least fifty instances of the two of them being unbearably adorable and TAKING CARE OF ANIMALS TOGETHER
    • also features Mama and Resident Cat Lady Narcissa Malfoy pointedly asking harry if he’s “seeing anyone” over tea, sending my emotionally constipated slytherin son into a coughing fit
    • YOU DON’T WANNA MISS IT
  • Wish Upon a Star (As Dreamers Do) by ICMezzo - “There’s plant magic and celestial magic and dark magic and normal magic…Then there are wishes, and dreams, and love, and those are even more magical still.”
    • draco is a wishmaker (i’M EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT) and harry is a hogwarts consultant who has a wish to make
    • BONDING AND TEASING OVER MAKING WISH POTIONS TOGETHER IS A THING THAT OCCURS
  • Seeing Draco Malfoy by khalulu - harry loses his glasses and they end up in draco’s hands…THINGS ESCALATE.
    • in which harry buys draco flowers and then upon being asked “you brought me flowers?” immediately splutters “nO!??!?1″
    • ALSO featuring: harry complimenting draco by telling him he has a “face like a white - pointiness”
    • you just can’t make this stuff up
  • Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill - THE CLASSIC!!!! includes a healthy dose of angst but mostly will delight your socks off. eighth year shenanigans!!! the whole hogwarts crew being wonderful!!! guaranteed to make you cry over chocolate cupcakes for the rest of your life!!! A MUST READ
  • Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi - another with a healthy dose of ~serious emotions~ but it’s also an absolute delight and I’D BE REMISS TO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE EVERYONE READ IT IMMEDIATELY. it’s one of the best!!!!
    • “Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.”
    • featuring some of the Greatest Characterization Ever, lots of teasing and bickering, and lots of draco malfoy being perpetually pissy about just how beautiful The Chosen One is
    • “Thin winter sunlight gleamed off his high cheekbones, yet another in a long line of irritations.”
    • “Sorry, what?” Potter asked, all flawless brown skin and sharp jawline, the arsehole.
    • R E A D  I T

okay, I’ll leave you with those six for now. apologies if you didn’t want me to ramble for ages about how great all of these are but…your first mistake would be assuming I have self-control :o)

HOPE THESE SUIT YOU, LOVELY ANON!!! :’’) they’re all utterly fantastic and I cannot imagine you not loving any single one of them. please enjoy and do let me know if you read any!!!! :3 <33333333

anonymous asked:

Any guidelines/rules or tips you could give me for making an OC with DID? I don't want to be stereotypical or offensive, and I want to be as accurate as possible!

I (and we) totally appreciate that! Doing thorough research, especially by reading the many accounts of people who publicly share their stories, will be of great help. Some YouTubers (Autumn Asphodel, Multiplicity and Me) and some blogs (like The We in Me) could be great places to start. You’re also welcome to check out the #DIDchat tag on twitter to read experiences of real people living with DID. It’s a weekly chat, but the hashtag can be viewed at any time! 

Also, if you want a good feeling of what it’s like to live with DID, I’d recommend watching the show Sense8. It’s not actually about DID, but it’s basically exactly what living with DID is like lol. 

But, let’s see, if I were to help you write this disorder into “a” character, here’s what I’d suggest:

  1. Understand why DID forms: Simply (and subjectively) put, DID forms when a child under the age of nine experiences repeated trauma that they cannot handle. They detach from it (dissociation) and when this dissociation isn’t enough, their brain literally creates a family–more than one person–to handle the trauma. Think of your character not as an individual, but a family or team that was built to handle circumstances an individual couldn’t handle alone. DID is an adaptive and creative disorder.

  2. When writing a character with DID, you’re not just writing one character. People with DID aren’t a person with alters–many of us consider ourselves and our alters to all be equal. One may appear most often, but that doesn’t mean we’re more of a person. 

  3. Create complex backstories, worldviews, and motivations for each alter. Alters are full identities, meaning each one sees and experiences the world in a unique way. Essentially, create each alter into a whole individual person (with their innate “role” having to do with the trauma their whole system faced). Just like how a character’s experiences inform their personality, an alter’s experiences do the same. Keep in mind that alters can have different physical abilities and experiences too (i.e. different strengths, one having a mobility condition, one being blind, etc).

  4. Understand when each other will take over. Since they are multiple people, but all share one body, it’s common to fight for time out in the world. For self-expression, to be ourselves, and so on. Think about which characters are comfortable not revealing themselves, and if some feel the need to. Think about when they will take turns being up front (both accidentally and intentionally). 

  5. Don’t focus solely on alters. Because people with DID are trauma survivors, we basically all have PTSD (most often Complex PTSD). Look into those symptoms and figure out what each individual alter will have as their most prominent symptoms, which ones distress them the most, and which can they handle well. Also, describe the complexities of dissociation, amnesia, and other symptoms with DID. 

  6. Understand the alter’s role, but don’t stereotype them. (And gosh, please no murderous alters! Or if you have a violent one, have them be sympathetic and violent because they needed to in order to survive, since that’s the real story behind violent alters.) I’ll give an example of a stereotype versus reality below. 

  7. Don’t make DID too obvious to the people who know the character (presuming they’re not “out”). Although sometimes it’s obvious that a person has more than one identity, it’s often a very subtle disorder. It more often appears as mood swings (like alters who tend to feel different moods more often–though remember that each alter can feel every emotion, they don’t represent single emotions unless they are fragments, but that’s more rare and probably too hard to get into in writing). As well as appearing as memory loss. 

  8. Capture the issues people with DID face. Acceptance, stereotypes, stigma, being presumed to be dangerous, not being believed by mental health professionals, not having physical disorders taken seriously, and so on. 

  9. Pay attention to the internal relationship dynamics. Communication is key for those of us with DID, we have to get to know each other, understand each other, and support each other if we want to live harmoniously. A good exercise might be to imagine (after writing all the alters’ basic character traits) them all stuck in a room together. How would they treat each other? What relationships would they have? 

  10. Don’t forget the embarrassment of suddenly having someone comment on a private thought of yours. Alters, since we all share the same head, will sometimes chime in at really awkward moments. Even though we’re not all present at the same time, we are sometimes present at inopportune times. 

And here are some personal examples corresponding to these above points that might help get your creative juices flowing! (All what I’m willing to share, so some might be vague, and heads up for abuse mentions.)

  1. For three of us, here’s how we all sort of formed. I think I, Arien, was around first. I’m generally compassionate, trusting, and try to heal others (even those that hurt me). When I was abused too painfully, more than I could handle, Bael came into being. He’s more sexual (basically adapted to get off on being abused) and he’s masochistic. When we were then asked to do morally questionable things by our abuser, Sion stepped in. He was colder and more detached, and didn’t have the same issues with morality as the rest of us. See how some of us formed to step into a situation the others couldn’t handle, or didn’t have the skills to? (Sense8 btw, gives a really good subjective portrayal of what this feels like.)

  2. Don’t really have anything to add to this point. Though, you might want to write one alter that’s hesitant to realize they are a we. I was initially scared I’d lose my sense of self when I was admitting I wasn’t alone in this body.

  3. Some examples of our differences: Bael is very good at drawing anatomy and understanding lines and angles when drawing. I’m a softer, more curvy, artist. I’m better at coloring. Sion likes overcast, rain, and wintery weather, whereas I get depressed and moody in the winter. Bael doesn’t like Indian food (besides chicken curry) but I LOVE Indian food. I have a mild mobility disability, Bael is very rarely disabled at all (he’s pretty strong, except for when our body as a whole gets sick). Ava is afraid of water, the rest of us love it.

  4. An example of intentionally taking over: Bael wants to talk during therapy, so on our walk there, he turns on his playlist and the music helps him come forward and feel grounded. 

    An example of accidentally taking over: During past abuse, I’d be abused and it would be intensely painful, then I’d just black out (not pass out, but no longer remember anything). Bael was taking over during that time. Sometimes we accidentally switch without amnesia. Like in therapy I was once talking about Bael and then Bael was like “wait…I think I’m here now” to our therapist. 

  5. For context, I remember about 10% or less of my life. And I miss casual things too. Like my apartment is cleaned or messier and I don’t remember doing it. I’m half way to a destination and then realize that I’m halfway there (like not remembering how I got to the half way point). Recently, a friend texted to confirm we were meeting in an hour, and I had no recollection of us ever setting up a time to meet at all (despite it being in texts when I looked back and such). PTSD and other symptoms are things you can look up, I think they’d be easier to write. Also, sometimes we jump when we look in the mirror. Like we don’t recognize ourself (depending on who’s fronting) and it startles us. 

  6. Okay! Stereotype versus reality. Sion (tentatively) said I can use him. He’s what’s sometimes called a “persecutor alter,” alters who tend to take after their abuser and sometimes will hurt the system or others. If you were to write a persecutor as a typically abusive, one-dimensional person, it would be stereotyping them. But, if I were to write someone, based on Sion, I’d describe how much he struggled to accept himself because of the immoral things he was forced to do and chose to do to save himself and us. How he felt that was all he was good at. I’d describe how he thought Bael needed to be hurt when he was stressed, because that’s what Bael described wanting. I’d talk about Sion’s complex desire to protect us, yet also being afraid he’d hurt us. There’s a lot more, but that’s all he’s comfortable with me sharing. 

  7. In my own experience, I had one friend who had met a few of us alters and she kept a journal about it. But she thought maybe it was something spiritual. More commonly, I would just have confused friends (before my dx, when I didn’t have an explanation) be angry that I didn’t remember promising or telling something, accuse me of manipulating them. Whereas I literally just wasn’t the identity that had promised something or given a different opinion earlier. A friend also described me changing opinions mid-dialogue. Like “ah, I’ll totally commit to this lease, I feel great about it!” and then “there’s no way I’m going to commit. It’s a bad choice for all these reasons.” It wasn’t me doubting myself (it was multiple selves), but that’s how it looked like to others. 

  8. There is SO much stigma around DID (one reason I’m happy to type all this out! To help dismantle that). Look into movies that bug those of us living with it, slurs and microaggressions (”yeah, it was like she had multiple personalities, she was so emotional!!”). How we’re treated as monsters rather than survivors. The fear we face whenever we see a new doctor or go to the hospital and have to decide if we want to say we have DID or not. How we’re left out of conversations about mental illness, abuse, and childhood trauma.

  9. This point’s more on your character development! But, I can say, us alters argue, support each other, comment on each other’s actions, I narrate what we’re doing sometimes (lol). Also, sometimes we’ll get tired of the others being in pain. It takes a lot of energy to always, in the back of your mind, know someone is hurting. (Like our Little will sometimes cry for a day or two and we can all hear it.)

  10. Oh gosh, point ten happens so much! Like I’ll be fantasizing about something then someone will comment on the thought and I’ll be like “auhhlsiudhfliushd” *blushes* xD. It’s even worse if one us fantasizes about another alter LOL. This can also happen with other private thoughts (not so funny ones) like suicide ideation, shame, watching one alter act on an addiction, etc. Also, us alters do feel some of each other’s emotions (like we’re affected by it), although it doesn’t feel like our emotions. 

I really hope this helps you and many others write and understand DID! More questions are totally fine, and this post is okay to reblog

(Also hey if you want to pitch into my service dog fundraiser that would be awesome?? :D)

anonymous asked:

heyo i don't know if you've done this yet so sorry if you already have, but could you do a top 5 bungou stray dogs characters?? you don't have to, but id really like to see your favorite characters!! thanks b!

rip making this list was way harder than I thought.

1. Chuuya Nakahara. Who would have thought, right? It’s not a mystery that Chuuya is my favorite character in bsd, he stole my heart the very second I saw him. I love everything about him: his unique character design, his chili pepper personality, his strength, his confidence but also his dark, sometimes twisted side. But, most of all, I love him for his heart. Despite being raised in the darkness, he’s still so kind and caring, in his own way. I just want to take him away from the mess he’s in and spoil him with expensive wine and designer clothes. I wish I could give him the whole world, but he deserves so much more than that.

Originally posted by perpendicular-hearts

2. Edogawa Ranpo. My adorable lazy son was the very fist character I fell in love with. It was a mix of his brilliant mind, his gorgeous eyes, and that incredibly relatable attitude. He’s my ultimate bias, he could come into my house and rob all my snacks and I’ll probably thank him. 10000/10 highly recommend. 

Originally posted by kishou

3. Atsushi Nakajima. I’m so glad he’s the protagonist of this story. He suffered so much, he’s emotionally scarred and psychologically damaged, but still he managed to keep his heart of gold safe and beating. My heart broke into so many pieces when I read the extent of the abuses he suffered in the orphanage. Honestly, what the actual fuck. He’s not perfect, and that’s alright, because he’s growing and becoming stronger each day. He just doesn’t give up on people, no matter which side they are in, and the world truly needs people like him. He’s officially my son™. (also his reaction faces give me life)

Originally posted by dopppo

4. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. Speaking of sons, here’s the other one. I’m honestly so proud of him, he’s hands down the character that went through the biggest development in the series. He started as a heartless mass murderer and now he goes around saving people and caring about their past and their emotions. Also, he’s incredibly self-aware and he knows he has issues to resolve, strings he needs to cut, and I’m sure he will. I’m rooting for you Aku <3

Originally posted by pauly6212

5. Fyodor Dostoevsky. He’s gorgeous and terrifying. He’s a terrible person but at the same time a perfect villain. He’s that kind of villain you hope the creators would find a way to keeping in the story…forever. Even if he’s the bad guy, I enjoy immensely the way he outsmarts and tricks people (especially Dazai), and I find myself looking forward to seeing his genius in action and to know more about his past. Just….give me all the Fyodor, I need him.

Originally posted by nikforovs

- bonus: Ah, Dazai. I have such a complicated relationship with him. There are days in which I legit hate him, I can’t stand him and his constant smug expression. There are days in which I think about what he has done (and keeps doing) to Aku and to Chuuya and my first instinct is to slap him with a burning pan. But then I remember the face he made when Oda died, I remember how much hell he himself has been through. I remember he has a heart, I remember he’s capable of love, of emotions, of truly caring. I remember that, as incredible as it sounds, he’s probably the most selfless character in the series. There are days in which I truly love him, and I hate it. And I hate him. And then I love him…again. 

Originally posted by hyakuraii

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dreamcatchersdaughter  asked:

Winteriron soulmate wing fic AU where your soulmate has inverted wings to you and your first words to each-other are written on the inside of your wings? Like if Tony has primary gold and trim red, Bucky's would be primarily red with gold? (they don't have to be those colors that's just my example)

I’m not sure how this is going to turn out because, to be perfectly honest, I really struggle with soulmate AUs. It’s not an idea that resonates easily with me, but I kind of wanted to try as a personal challenge to myself. I’m also twisting some of this a bit in terms of what indicates a match. This is gonna have a lot of gratuitous talk about my thoughts on destiny and I am so sorry and you should just not read it.


Tony never did have the patience for philosophy. Well, not philosophy for philosophy’s sake anyway. As it applied to science? As it applied to morality? Important shit. People needed to think about the implications of what they did not only as it related to the present, but also as it related to those who would follow, those whose lives would be dictated by present-day choices. He liked that kind of thinking. It was where his brain functioned best.

But all the, all the fluff? Waste of time. He remembered the first time he told Steve he’d never put much stock in amorphous concepts like “soul” and “destiny” and the shock on Steve’s face.

“But, but you’ve…what about the patterning?”

“Genetics.”

“You stock it all up to strands of DNA?”

Keep reading

admiralboo  asked:

I figured I'd message you back here! For a request, what about Izaya being told 'I love you' for the first time? I don't think anyone's ever said it to him, so I wonder what his reaction would be.

I was really excited once I read this prompt and it was so fun to write~! The poor, evil child needs some love tbh~


Love…

He loved humans. He loved humanity. He was infatuated with the push and pull of emotions that humans caused in their inevitable and inescapable turmoil. He never thought he would be a victim of such things.

Izaya was the curator; coordinator of all havoc and misfortune in this city. No matter how many times he walked into other people’s lives and directly polluted their state of being, he never actually set foot in their fragile reality. He had never played a part, had only directed. And this person, with bright eyes and subtle smiles, forced him into the quaint human reality he had avoided for so long.

“Forced” may be too gentle a word for what actually happened. They tied a noose of red ribbon and slung it around his neck as they whispered phrases that were so alien to him. He thought he had transcended not only the petty human reality he toyed with but his own idea of real life. All the while, he was being dragged through the mud and grime by this miraculous creature he has involved himself with.

“Who are you playing with today, Izaya?” they said quietly, resting their arms around his neck and reading the messages presented in the colorful chatroom before the two of them.

Izaya leaned his head back until it was just barely grazing the jut of their chin. He spoke just as quietly, “Why, none other than the infamous leader of the Dollars~.”

They nodded silently, toying with a piece of black hair and smiling at the contented sigh that they got in return. “You’ve corrupted him quite a lot, haven’t you, Iza?” they asked, unphased by his hobby. They’d never really cared about the bad things Izaya did, only focused on living their lives and the triumph of receiving special affection from the chaotic neutral, pseudo-god of this world. 

He laughed. Not an eccentric, worrisome cackle, but something more gentle. It was a sound that sweetened the air around them in subtle increments. Each breath preparing the world for the next bit of harmony he brought into their life, doing the opposite for the rest of the world. His laughter slowly faded into familiar phrases, “Corrupted is such a strong word. I’m simply showing my love for my dear humans. You’re still my favorite, of course.”

They nuzzled the back of Izaya’s ear before leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. His fingers, which were typing vigorously, stuttered, resulting in a misspelled word. Quickly, he fixed his error and mumbled, slightly out of focus from his previous task, “What was that for, my dear Y/N-chan?”

“I’m simply showing how I love you, my dear Iza-kun~.” they said, a small giggle escaping past his ear.

He turned swiftly, pulling them into his lap. A slender hand held their chin steady, eyes locked. Izaya’s pupils darted across their countenance, his own face expressionless but his eyes searching violently for any sign of a lie. He seemed desperate to find the joke lying behind their words to save his carefully built world from crumbling to pieces and consequently came up short.

No-one had ever told him such a thing. As far as he could remember, his own parents hadn’t said anything remotely close to those three valuable words even as he left to live on his own at the young age that he did. “Now, don’t tease me, Y/N-chan. That’s very rude of you,” he spoke with forced amusement.

Drowning in your own head never looked so subtle, and unfortunately, Izaya certainly was drowning. They had seen him do things that broke people into pieces, they’ve watched him stab people and carry himself with an unwavering sense of calmness. He has destroyed and rebuilt the very foundations of people’s minds and he has never felt an ounce of regret; Izaya has never hesitated. This very moment pushed him beyond hesitation and into an unfamiliar fear because of this creature, surpassing human qualities, is more than qualified to carry his relentlessly devoted trust. He is so afraid of being destroyed by this monster he has sworn to protect, afraid of what his trust would bring him.

“I could never be rude to you and you know that,” they said, placing their hand over his own and pulling its grasp away from their chin. They placed his palm flat over their heart and smiled faintly, the same adoring grin they gave him every day was revealing something he’d never noticed. It was a genuine kindness only shown to him and it shook him to the core as he looked back on the months he’s spent with this remarkable being. That smile was what woke him every morning and what put him to sleep at night, and the racing heartbeat under his palm reassured him that this monster was here to protect, not to kill.

It was then that Izaya finally lets out his more recognizable laugh, bordering a cackle and almost visibly distressed. “Aren’t you the one who just accused me of corrupting children?” he said, blatantly avoiding the subject that had thrown him through a disastrous onslaught of thoughts.

“I am. Now, are you going to continue to look petrified or are you going to kiss me and tell me you love me too?” They leaned forward, nose clumsily bumping his in childlike eagerness.

Izaya kissed them, short and sweet. He prided himself on the way they leaned in further, chasing his lips, before mumbling quietly, “You’re my favorite human.” He kissed them again, a little longer this time as he hummed against their mouth.

They pulled away and sighed in an amused contentedness before saying, laughter in their voice, “That works too, Izaya.”


- Pasya

Jack

“Danny, you have to eat.”

Jack looked up from his dinner, over at Danny’s plate. He was pushing it around, drawing lines in the cheese that had dribbled down from the macaroni. They were halfway through dinner and there was still the same amount of pasta there as there had been when Jack had loaded it up.

“I don’t like macaroni…” He mumbled, still not taking a bite.

Who didn’t like macaroni? “I thought you said you loved it?” Jack was worried; Danny was so thin… And he was pretty sure he’d been losing weight since…

“Not white cheddar.” Danny answered, as if it was something everyone should know. How was Jack supposed to remember this stuff?

He pushed out his chair and stood up. “I’ll make you something else. What’re you in the mood for?”

“Not hungry.” Danny pushed his plate into the middle of the table and leaned back.

Jack sat back down. 

I'll make you something.” Jazz stood up and walked into the kitchen, leaving an empty silence in her wake.

Jack couldn’t do this on his own.

———————————————–

Jack stared down at the half-finished invention in his hands. He couldn’t do this. He was a big picture person, good with theory, with ideas, with general concepts. Maddie was the details, the practicals, the heavy lifting. Jack did the basics, the plan, the concept, how it would work and why… Maddie was the one who did all the calculations, all the calibrations, the one who fixed all the little errors Jack was moving too fast to catch. Maddie made it work.

Jack couldn’t do this without her.

Together, they were a team, a package, a family… They worked together wonderfully, filling out each other’s weaknesses and playing on each other’s strengths. Together they could have something finished in a day at best, a week at most, and it was fun. They would toss ideas out at each other, build on each other, make the most of each other. But apart…

He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t get the stupid thing to work. He was frustrated and angry, a state he always worked worst in, and he couldn’t seem to concentrate. The grief counselor said that it was normal, that he was understandably depressed, that it would get easier with time, but… He hadn’t realized how much he’d learned to depend on Maddie to finish their inventions. He was going to have to relearn everything they’d worked so hard to build… He was going to have to reinvent their system, tear it apart and start over… And he was going to have to do it alone…

Jazz was good at this stuff but she was always so busy. And he didn’t want to add to the stress of her senior year the stress of paying bills. And Danny…

Danny hated the lab. Jack was not the most observant person and he knew that… But he was trying. And he knew that every time his son was dragged down here he’d get more distant, draw away from Jack a little more and there was nothing Jack could do about it. Whatever shit, whatever grief Danny was going through… Jack didn’t know how to deal with it. No one in his family had ever stopped eating before, had ever snuck out at night, come home with bruises… He knew Maddie had been worried about him before she died but it had definitely gotten worse since then and Jack didn’t know what to do. 

He knew that he and Maddie weren’t the best parents, knew they sometimes put their work a little too high on their priorities, knew they hadn’t… spent the time they needed to with their kids before it was too late… And now he couldn't work, couldn't connect with his kids, couldn’t do anything. They weren’t great parents together, how could Jack try to be alone…

He couldn’t do this.

————————————————————–

“… You go by Phantom, right?” Jack looked down at the ground, unable to meet the ghost’s eyes.

“Yeah… Chief of police said you were looking for me?" 

Jack nodded, trying to figure out what to say… It had seemed so simple but now that he was here… The silence stretched out before the ghost boy tried to fill it, "I’m… sorry about your wife.”

Jack nodded again, still not ready to actually look at it… If Maddie could see him now… He cleared his throat and finally looked up. “You were there, right?” It was a stupid question. 

He watched as the ghost nodded, eyes shining with unexpected sincerity. “I’m… sorry I couldn’t…” His voice shook a bit before he collected himself, this time being the one to avoid eye contact. “Save her…” He sounded like he really meant it.

Jack only nodded again. He knew the boy meant it; he’d watched the tapes, seen how Phantom had reacted… “That’s not what I’m here about… You were… human, right?" Phantom looked startled and… slightly afraid? Jack had never seen him like that, but he supposed it was probably a sensative topic… "Before you died, I mean… That’s… that’s what ghosts are, right?" 

The ghost shifted awkwardly, like he was shuffling his feet even though he was several inches off the ground. This was clearly not a question he wanted to answer. "Most ghosts are… yeah. I mean, not all of them but–”

“Could you find her?” Jack was ashamed to hear the desperation in his own voice.

Phantom looked away. He had expected to be met with pity but instead the ghost boy’s voice was empty and… dead. “Not everyone becomes a ghost… you know that… right?”

“Yes, I know, but there’s a chance–”

“A slim chance.”

“But it’s still a chance." 

Phantom still wouldn’t look at him and instead of being comforting his words came out flat and devoid of emotion, like he was reading from a textbook. "Most ghosts don’t remember their past. Even if she’s out there, there’s no guarantee she’ll be the same. She won’t be human. It might hurt more to see her like that.”

“I’m not asking just for me." Phantom’s eyes finally met his, wide and full of surprise. "I can’t– I can't do this on my own.” And the next thing he knew he was spilling his guts to the last person he’d have considered being seen with just a few months ago. “My kids– Danny won’t talk to me. I know his mom’s death hit him hard, I know there’s stuff he’s going through that I can’t begin to help out with, I know that I’m a shitty father and I should be there for him but I can’t. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to help him, don’t know how to help Jazz… I need to help them but I– I can’t do this on my own. Maddie was always so much better than me… And I can’t finish our inventions… I can’t do this without her… so… please… just… try…” Jack had already finished by the time he realized he was begging. 

“I’ll… I’ll ask around.” Phantom turned to go.

“That’s all I’m asking.”

————————————————————

Jack put his forehead down on the table. He’d just gotten another call from school informing him that Danny had left to use the bathroom in second period and not come back until fourth… for the second time that week. They’d also apparently called the first time, spoken with Jazz, but this was the first Jack had heard about it… She said she’d told him when he asked her, so he must be losing his mind. There was just so much…

“Dad?” He looked up in time to see Danny enter the kitchen and rubbed his hands over his eyes to make himself look less tired; he had to be stronger than this. 

“Hey Danny.” He looked down at the pile of bills in front of him. He should say something about the phone call, talk to him, try to figure out what was wrong… But he just didn’t know what to say…

And then Danny wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck from behind. It was the first time he’d initiated contact in… at least half a year… Ever since he’d started avoided them… “You’re a good dad, you know that, right? I know you’re worried about me and Jazz, but we’ll be fine. I’m okay. Really. So don’t worry about about me. We’ll get through this together.”

marriage proposal: wonho
  • ok tbh i see wonho absolutely losing his mind over this
  • he’d be a nervous wreck
  • acting weird for weeks but once you ask what’s wrong, he looks like he’ll have a breakdown any second so you just let him be, figuring or rather hoping he’ll get back to normal soon
  • he hates keeping things from you. he really does, but
  • he just wants it to be perfect. he tries to plan out how he’ll propose down to the smallest detail, because you can’t say no. honestly what would he even do if you said no???? cry for 38 years that’s what
  • anyway
  • so he plans it all out, even prepares a speech, telling you how much you mean to him and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and all
  • and then he takes you to the sea. he packs blankets and tea and you sit down together on the almost deserted beach, wrapped in blankets and watching the ocean together, just talking until even your quiet chatter dies down and you watch wave after wave crash onto the shore
  • and wonho looks at you, looking so beautiful and he’s still so in love with you and his hand wraps around the ring in his pocket and he’s ready to ask you to-
  • except he’s not.
  • he leaves the ring in his pocket and you leave the beach after a while and wonho hates himself a little bit because he really wanted to ask he you, he really did, but he just couldn’t
  • of course he tries again
  • he tries again and again, plans out scenario after scenario but he chickens out every time
  • get it together wonho
  • the ring is always in his pocket, the words he practiced so many times are always on his tongue, but
  • it’s never the right moment, he thinks. something’s always wrong, the mood, the timing, something, he doesn’t quite know what it is most of the time, it’s just-
  • he wants to find the perfect moment, ok?? it has to be perfect
  • or maybe it’s just that’s he is petrified you might say no because he loves you so much and he doesn’t wanna lose you
  • meanwhile the other members are getting more frustrated every day because wonho just won’t propose but he won’t stop talking about it either and honestly??? they’re running out of suggestions
  • ………………….so
  • it’s a day when you’re off work and wonho is as well but since wonho still hasn’t come up with a new plan and you haven’t seen the others in a while he invites you over to just spend the day with them
  • you’re all in sweatpans and just hanging out at their dorm, eating too much and playing video games
  • hyungwon is lying on the couch and reading, wonho is playing with his phone, shownu and kihyun went to the supermarket to grab more food
  • and you’re playing mario kart with minhyuk and changkyun, sitting too close to the tv and being way too into it for adults, cursing at items that hit you
  • it’s a close call but finally you get first place and
  • “ha!!”, you scream in victory, “take that suckers!”
  • minhyuk and changkyun groan in unison but wonho just chuckles
  • he loves it so much when you’re being dorky and kinda obnoxious. he loves you so much. he just wants to marry you, is that too much to ask for?
  • “just let me marry her..”, he mutters
  • ………….…..  …
  • four sets of eyes practically snap to gape at him, all laughter and chatter gone in an instant, the mario kart tune still playing mockingly in the background, making everything seem a little surreal
  • and you’re just. staring, eyes about to pop out of your head
  • “you……what?”
  • he just stares back for a few second with equally wide eyes, feeling nauseous and dizzy because did he just really just say that aloud?? god no you’re gonna hate him you’re gonna leave you’re gonna-
  • “wonho?”, you ask quietly but demanding
  • he swallows and takes a deep breath. now or never, he thinks
  • “y/n”
  • he walks over to you and sits down on his knees right in front of you, pulling out the little box he’s been carrying around for weeks now
  • “y/n”, he repeats and looks into your eyes and again you’re just staring back, completely in shock and trying to convince yourself you’re not dreaming
  • meanwhile the other boys are just sitting there, gaping, also not believing what’s going on right before their eyes
  • “i kinda had an entire speech written out for this but honestly?”, wonho laughs nervously, “i can’t remember any of it right now…just”
  • he opens the box and holds it up a little, your gaze flickering between wonho and the ring in his hands
  • “i love you, y/n. please marry me?”
  • overwhelmed with emotions, tears start spilling out your eyes and you start to cry
  • “y/n?”, wonho asks, voice uncertain all of a sudden and his frown deepening by the second
  • he looks so ridiculously concerned that you can’t help but chuckle even though you’re crying. you quickly start to nod, wiping your tears
  • “of course. of course i’ll marry you”
  • and wonho’s expression immediately shifts into one of pure delight and the way he looks as much in love with you as you feel you’re in love with him right now, makes the emotions rushing over you only stronger, causing you to smile wider and cry harder
  • he takes the ring out of the box and your hand in his
  • “can i?”, he asks, smiling at you shyly
  • you nod again, not really able to talk, tears still rolling down your cheeks
  • as soon as the ring’s on your finger, you practically throw yourself at your now fiancé, arms wrapping around him, burying your face in his neck
  • his arms tighten around you and he starts laughing and crying, too
  • so there you are
  • on the living room floor, in sweatpants and with unbrushed hair, the mario kart theme still playing in the background. clinging to each other and laughing and crying at the same time
  • your emotions are all over the place but what you know is this:
  • you’re happy. so unbelievably and incredibly happy.
  • you don’t even notice when minhyuk and the other boys finally start breathing again, too, groaning and laughing because “can you believe him oh my god” and “finally he got his shit together”
  • you don’t notice either when a few minutes later the door opens and shownu and kihyun come back, kihyun promptly dropping his bag of snacks
  • “……are you kidding me.”

[ shownu // wonho // kihyun // minhyuk // hyungwon // jooheon // changkyun ]

maychorian  asked:

How about a surge of emotion causing a hug with Pidge and Hunk?

She’d finally done it.  It was done.  The next time they found a mining colony or a slave ship or a prison or any other of the godawful places her father might be, the scanner in her hand would be able to tell her, from the outside, whether he was there or not.  It would give a number of life forms, then break it down by known species, using the information she’d downloaded from the Castle’s mainframe.  Every living thing would show up, numbered and categorized, and if there was a human on the list, she could be almost certain it would be her family.  They would know the number of guards.  They would know the number of prisoners.  They would know everything.  And she would find her dad.

Hunk was excited too, sitting next to her in the away pod they’d borrowed to run this test, but she knew he couldn’t really be feeling what she was.  Not really.

She took a deep breath and turned the scanner toward the castle, initiating its first scan.

Nothing happened.  The scanner whirred, and beeped, and made a thunking noise, and left her with a blank screen.

No.  No.  She’d worked on this for months.  She’d hunched over her laptop, coding until her back was sore.  She’d cannibalized half the technology she owned, and some of the technology around her that she didn’t.  She’d custom-made parts when she had to.  It couldn’t be a failure.  It couldn’t.  She felt like she’d been punched repeatedly in the gut.  A squeak came out of her mouth, but she wasn’t sure a squeak of what.

“Whoa, there, Pidge,” Hunk said, “It’s uh - let me just -”

He took the scanner out of her hand and she didn’t stop him.  Why should she?  It was worthless.  She was worthless and her dad and Matt were still out there and she was never going to be able to find them.

“Hmm,” Hunk said, opening the back of the scanner with a tiny screwdriver he’d pulled out of his belt pouch.  'Hmm’ nothing.  It hadn’t worked.  Pidge tried to keep breathing even against the sudden flood of despair that made it seem easier, for the moment, not to.

“Ah, no, see, there’s the problem,” Hunk said, and she turned toward him, too distraught to really make sense of that.  Why did he sound so chipper?

“You’ve got these wires crossed,” he said, gesturing to something in her peripheral vision. “Easy to do when you’re working without a blueprint.  I told you an electrical diagram would help, instead of just doing it all out of your head.  Don’t you remember what Professor Montgomery said the first day of school?  Engineering is half math and half -”

“Wait - Are you saying you can fix it?”  Pidge asked, turning toward him as her brain finally caught up to what he was rambling about.

Hunk looked up from the scanner, beaming at her.  "Oh, yeah.  I mean, I think so.  I’m like 90% sure.  The signals just aren’t making it.  Your programming’s probably fine.“

After another moment, he slipped the cover back over the scanner’s inner workings and started screwing it shut.  Pidge shouldn’t hope it would work.  Not when it meant she might have to feel disappointed all over again.  But she couldn’t help herself.  Hunk was - well, he wasn’t confident, but he was never confident and maybe-”

“There,” Hunk said, handing the device back.  "It should work now.  I think.“

She bit her lip, staring at it for a moment.  No.  She couldn’t do it.  She shoved it back at him.  "You do it.  I can’t -” she cut herself off, not sure how to explain.

“Oh, yeah, I get that,” Hunk said, “You did a lot of work on it.”  It wasn’t the point, but it didn’t matter.  He’d taken the scanner back and was pointing it at the castle.  This time, it whirred, and beeped, and dinged.

There was silence in the pod for a minute, and then she decided she was ready to know.  Not knowing if it worked was even worse than being afraid it didn’t.  "What’s it say?“ she asked.

"5 life forms,” he read off, “2 Alteans, 2 humans, and 1 question mark.  That’s probably Keith.  We should probably work on that.”

She should feel happy.  Her brain told her she should be happy.  But there was still a ringing emptiness in her chest where the shock had been when she failed.  "It worked?“ she asked.  Before Hunk could answer, it sunk in, like just saying the words made them true.  "It worked!”

Her heart filled up like it might burst, and she flung herself sideways at Hunk, hugging him as tightly as she could in such tight quarters.

“Heck yeah, it worked!” he answered, hugging her back.  "You did it, Pidge!  Now we’ll be able to find your family in no time.“

She didn’t realize she was crying until Hunk started rubbing her back.  "Whoa, wait, whoa.  This is good, Pidge!  It’s a good thing!”

She buried her face farther into his shoulder.  "I know.“

"Oh, good.  You just stay right there then.  As long as it’s happy crying.  I can get behind happy crying.”

She laughed, and almost wanted to slug him in the arm, like she would if it were Lance, but not as much as she wanted to stay here, twisted around awkwardly, for a little bit longer and embrace the knowledge that she’d done it - that they’d done it.  She was going to find her family.