i don't remember being so emotional the first time i read it

anonymous asked:

How can a man that loves a woman make bruises on her? How can a man that loves her even do such a thing? I don't wanna be hit by no man I want cuddles and kisses and love. What is wrong with women that want to be hurt or beaten? Why do they want him to hit them?? I'm trying to understand why... if he is willing to hit or beat her is he abusive? What's abuse if it's not? Should a woman be okay with this? I'm a little having trouble understanding... I was beaten as a child and never want that.

I am really glad you asked this question, and I would encourage you to examine and process my answer with an open mind.

The thing to understand about BDSM in the first place is that its an adult kink. One in which most (ALL SHOULD) engage in with complete consent and respect for each other. It doesnt always happen that way, but the base and core of the old code dictates that it should. Its much more than leather and whips and chains… its much more than some 50 shades of garbage or terribly made porno would have you believe.

Some of the key elements that go along with what we call “Impact play”, that is what you describe above in loose terms, are things I would invite you to investigate more after you have finished reading this.

Consensual Non Consent

An element in which the parameters of the relationship and the scene (or playtime) is discussed ahead of time between the individuals. Basically what it means in simple terms is that the couple agrees to what will and wont happen and ACT as if the submissive in the relationship has no say in anything, no will, gives up their power, etc. to the Dominant. This should always come with the safe word option, that is.. the word that will bring an end to the activity and cause it to immediately come back to “vanilla” (the plain common worlds way) and then aftercare and such can be administered. This usually only exists during scene play, casual encounters of playtime, and in Master/slave relationships. 

And yes it can be done the wrong way.. just as anything else in our lives and relationships can be. It can cause harm, it can cause mental and emotional damage, it can be abused… but so can anything in vanilla relationships

TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE

No two BDSM relationships are the same.Each has their own ways, rules, etc… but we all share common elements. You may also sometimes see the relationship referred to as D/s (Dominant/submissive) and with that, there are several… flavors we could call them.. of those relationships. The most extreme of which are Master/slave in which the “slave” gives up all and total rights. 

But guess what… she does this willingly and of her own consent and control. These kinds of relationships usually come with preconceived contracts at the start, and clauses within those contracts that also include safe words for extreme situations. When the submissive or slave decides to give up complete power to her Dominant she is expressing that she also has total and complete trust in this person to care for her every need, fill her every desire and give her what she needs to feel whole

What she needs to feel whole is hers and hers alone. That could be anything from a daily spanking, to being tied to the porch and left for 8 hours a day. Thats her kink. her will. her desire… and she places those things in his hands with the trust that he can then reciprocate what it takes to please her.

Kinks can stem from various things

The world of psychology, anthropology and human studies is going to tell you a lot of things in regards to why people act the way they do and like what they like.

Just because a woman enjoys being spanked, doesnt mean she likes being slapped in the face. Just because she likes being slapped in the face doesnt mean she sees it as abuse.

A good portion of littles in the DD/lg and CG/l portion of the kink are the way they are because of things that happened in the past. More often things that happened just after the last time they felt safe and innocent. This is why you will see them talk about having a little age.. or more technically, a regression age.

regression therapy has been used since as long as anyone can remember in therapy and psychology in order to get the root of certain issues in people and then expose them to be able to begin the therapeutic process. Its nothing new, and the kink side of things uses it as many things… for kink, for coping, for safety and security… like I said, no two relationships in this lifestyle are the same. No two submissives, Dominants, slaves, littles, pets, etc are the same either… even if we all share commonalities. 

Part of the kink is whats called IMPACT PLAY

IMPACT PLAY

Impact play in its most simple form is the use of physicality during scene play (playtime, sex, intimate time, etc)

This involves everything from spanking, to paddling, to flogging, slapping, objectification, and more. Basically anything that involves physical interaction in a way that isnt vanilla sex. 

But again, realize this… its something that is talked about, agreed to, worked out and planned in advance. If it isnt, that’s rape. Not to be confused with rape play, which again, is just like impact play in that its agreed upon and worked out ahead of time with safety, limits and a safeword. 

These are playtimes that involve the consent of both (or more) parties involved. And it is in no way shape or form about abuse.

The submissive asks the Dominant to do these things. And he does them because he loves her. He wants to fill her needs, he wants to see her be pleasured. And just because she derives that pleasure from taking a swat with a paddle or having hot wax poured on her… doesnt make her or the action wrong.

You might like to race cars, or eat spaghetti, or build dollhouses or whatever and if someone else doesnt get their pleasure from those things, they still dont have the right to tell you what to enjoy or how to enjoy it.

Just in the same way, no one has the right to tell her that enjoying the paddle or the saint andrews cross is wrong. Because its what she wants. Its what she consented to. Its how she copes, gets pleasure, gets the release she needs from stress of life and so on and so forth.

Taking the paddle is no different than being a quarterback in the NFL

One of the reasons a boxer becomes a boxer is because he enjoys the risk of being punched and hurt. But he also enjoys the rush and the feeling it gives him when said actions occur.

To put things in better perspective: Force = mass x acceleration

A good paddle is made of solid wood. Usually a quarter inch to half inch thick, with at least a 4 inch wide blade, and a 2 foot long paddle face. In the hands of an average built Dom, a paddle will hit the bottom of a submissive with roughly 800 lbs of force, traveling anywhere from 30 to 40 mph before strike at its most powerful swing. The bottom (depending on its size) takes a certain amount of the force and works as a shock absorb-er, rifling the waves of impact down her legs and up her spine and across her body . … and leaves considerable bruising, and gives her a full body experience she cannot get otherwise.

An NFL quarterback who is moving at a rate of about 10 mph away from his aggressor will take a tackle from a 250lb man with an impact of 1000 lbs of force at comparably 6G’s of speed. 

Why do I compare the two?

Because both are consensual. Both are risk. Both have reward. Both are known about before hand, and both are beneficial to the parties involved. Is it wrong for the quarterback to willingly step into an arena where he knows the risk of being tackled and injured by a man much larger than him exists? and without a safe word to tell him to stop.

Then why is it wrong for a consenting woman who is actually in control of her situation to do the same?

HEALTH BENEFITS

Note: This section will contain facts from scientific studies, college courses, medical journals, doctoral papers, and sports medicine. These are things that I learned from college courses and the papers and studies that went into them.


The health benefits of activities that involve placing stress on the body (like high impact excersize and extreme sports) are enormous. In the same way, a good spanking can deliver a parallel  experience to doing the Insanity workout.

Among the fact that the endorphin rush, dopamine enhancement, and feeling of accomplishment just for starters can bring, theres also the growth of cognitive functions in raising the brains awareness of the self.. which improves your executive functions or rather the higher level thinking skills you use.

the neurological growth that occurs through the changing and growth of the chemicals in the brain,  which helps to increase your focus. during high impact situations you become micro aware of your own body and what its going through, which helps to increase self awareness and get in tuned with yourself.

Improving your focus makes you concentrate, which also improves your memory. the stress of the situation makes you think faster, which improves your reasoning and reaction.

Taking a good spanking can actually improve your willpower. Scientific studies show that a persons willpower (their ability to make decisions that are better for them than others and avoid those that are harmful) is actually linked to executive function of the brain… which is improved through the growth of cognitive function… which can come from high impact play.

High impact play is also scientifically shown to reduce stress, anxiety, give you emotional resilience.. it fights (and actually can prevent) depression, increases pain tolerance, reduces fatigue, makes your brain grow (encouraging the growth of new cells), improves mood and happiness, improves sleep, boosts productivity, reduces addictive behaviors, and overall improves, enhances and grows just about every positive aspect of your life. 

AND IF ALL THAT DOESNT MAKE YOU THINK…

Then let me hand it over to some older submissives and littles that I asked about the subject. Because really, when you need an answer on something… get the facts from the source. So i surveyed 7 older submissives with great experience and here is what they told me:


Submissive female 1: “For me its cathartic, it gives me the ability to release whatever stress or shitty thing thats going on in my life. Its being able to place myself into the hands of someone who knows and loves me, and allow them to take everything that I can give, and give me everything that they can too. Its not about the pain, its about the growth of each person I think. It makes me feel strong. It makes me know I’m strong even when I feel like I’m not. D/s gives me security. It makes me feel at home. It helps me to know that I’ll be okay because I have someone who will help me be ok.

the impact part, thats where it becomes more than just a physical thing. Its a mental thing too. its a spiritual thing. It connects me with someone deeply… and it gets me off.”

Submissive female 2: “ In the above scenario, if a man is hitting a woman and it is not part of a negotiated,  consensual scene it is abuse. This woman clearly is not interested in engaging in impact play, and therefore her partner should respect that.  In regards to her attitude, other people do things within their relationships that don’t make sense to others and would not work for them. For instance, I have a girl-friend who goes to the hospital for medical procedures alone. Even major surgeries. She doesn’t want her husband there. I can’t imagine going to have an organ removed from my body or a bone set with out my s-o there to support me. However, this is their preference and it works for them. I can’t tell them its wrong and I shouldn’t judge it because it isn’t my relationship, no one is being harmed, and both partners are happy.

In the case of sexual relation ships and consensual kink the same principle applies.they are both consenting, both happy with the situation, and no one is harmed or had their consent violated as a part of the experience, it is up to the individuals involved to determine if its right or wrong.

Submissive female 3: In my case its a turn that comes with an extreme amount of trust in the person doing the hitting. I need it for control in my life but to others it might be something different. It isnt abuse if both parties are in agreement of each others limits and the key word should look for is CONSENT for BOTH  parties involved.

Why would you put bruises or marks on me? Think about it.

Personally I would feel owned if you marked me in that way… Sure you could just slap a ring on it and call it a day but marking is more intimate and means more to people receiving and giving the marks”

Submissive female 4: “If both adults consent than its not abuse. Like so many others, I have been abused physically, sexually, and psychologically… to this end I cannot abide verbal degradation or closed fists swinging in anger.

That said, on the days I am feeling numb, chaotic mentally, the lashes of physical pain give me something to focus on. When attempting meditation one uses mental exercises or recites a phrase. there are times in my life when that is effective. For days its not, physical pain gives me something which to start my focus so that my mind can follow suit once I hit that sub space.”  

Submissive female 5: “Love doesnt have to physically hurt. However, the some people enjoy the contrasting sensations of pain and pleasure as they are opposites and heighten the senses. It would have to be in the confines of safe, sane and consensual with open communication and explicit direction as to what is and is not acceptable in their dynamic.

There are multiple ways to both give and receive love (as seen in the 5 love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman) and no one way is correct for every person and people can have multiple love languages. However, love should not be fear based out of physical attacks”

Submissive female 6: “i think its about the difference. Just like how theres a difference between spanking a child and abuse. It should never be done out of anger but rather to give a reminder to not break the rules.

When its done for the pleasure of the one being hit, it should still never be done out of anger. The sub has some control with the use of limits and safe words that would not exist in an abusive situation.

there are a lot of reasons why pain can be pleasurable. it is a reminder of your endurance, it provides a special warm and tingly sensation that is unique, and a spanking can send a vibration down through the body that touches on other sensitive areas. 

i also like the sore feeling after a workout because it makes me feel strong and tough. plus the after care is so calming and affirming.”

Submissive female 7: “For me the purple bruises are beautiful reminders of my time with my Sir. I enjoy the spanks and hits to my ass and tits. i crave them from time to time. They are releases for me. Not punishments.

To me its not abuse because we have that trust and communication. The hits actually put me in a place where I dont think, but feel. it lets you just feel”


Notice the trends? consent… strength… thinking… feeling… trust… 

Hopefully this has shed some insight on the topic and given you a better perspective on the lifestyle and the way impact play is treated and regarded. 

★ lvtvr’s long-winded writing advice ★

Heyo. I’m Charlie and I write. You may know me for my Keith/Lance fanfics. I don’t know if it helps my credibility, but I have articles in print that I’ve been paid to produce, I’ve translated and proofread four novels, and I’ve been writing off and on for nearly eighteen years. I’m not perfect, I’m not a master, but I do know what I’m doing. So if you write too, and you want to get better, here are some of the things I’ve learned.

Less is more.

You know the quote “Blood orange? Shut up, it’s fucking red.” Remember this while you’re writing. If you’ve ever seen one of those “100 synonyms for ‘said’ to use while writing :)” lists, here’s what to do with it: burn it. No one utters or opines or verbalizes shit. They fucking say it.

Basically: use vocabulary that you know. Turn to big fancy words if you are certain that they’re the best way to express the nuance you’re going for, but avoid them if you’re only using them to make your prose more “interesting.” Don’t worry about sounding a little repetitive. Sounding pretentious or like someone who hangs out too much on Thesaurus.com is a lot worse.

Remember your whole body.

Ever read writing that punches you in the gut and makes you feel things? Ever aspired to create something like that yourself? Well, the key to doing it is to remember the body. Stay aware of the fact that we exist in the world as messy 3D beings made of blood and meat and emotion. 

It’s natural for most people to start with visual impressions and describe what things look like, but your writing won’t start to come alive until you also begin describing what they feel like, smell like, taste like. The five senses are a cheesy but effective checklist. Throw in sounds, smells, and body sensations alongside the visual aspect.

This goes for emotion, too. If your character is sad, think back to what you felt like when you were sad. Heavy gut? Rain clouds in your head? Tears pricking at the backs of your eyes, but never quite falling? All that is a lot more interesting than simply saying “they were sad.”

For the love of God, never type “Hello.” He said.

This falls under the general umbrella of using correct grammar (which you should!), but I feel the need to point this particular faux pas out because a) it’s soooo common for people to do this, and b) I can’t stand it. This is the type of persistent mistake that actively interferes with the flow of the writing for me as a reader. I don’t care if some big-name fic author does it or if you’ve seen a million others do it – you’ll never find it in a professionally proofread and edited book. Because, at the end of the day, it’s wrong.

Compare these two examples:

“This sucks.” She sighed.
“This sucks,” she sighed.

In the first example, she says the words first, and sighs afterward. In the second, she’s sighing the words. Simple difference. If the action is directly related to how the dialogue is being conveyed, it should come attached to the dialogue. If the action and dialogue are separate, separate them. Throwing in a bunch of loose, orphaned “He said” clauses is choppy and incorrect and pisses me off to an irrational degree. Please, please avoid this. I’m begging you on my hands and knees.

Focus your characterization.

Keeping characters in character is one of the biggest challenges of writing. I find that an easy way to stay on track is to summarize the character’s way of reacting to the world in one or two simple sentences, and when you’re not sure what they would say or do, try to keep it in line with that basic conception. 

For example, I’ve characterized Keith from Voltron as someone who “feels things very strongly and honestly, but has trouble putting his emotions into words.” My Hunk is “prone to gossip, but has a heart of gold and the strongest sense of justice you ever saw.” I keep this minimalist notion of a character at the front of my mind when I write them, and it usually helps them stay themselves.

Try to keep it general, though. “Passionate about food,” “flirts a lot,” or “in love with Mothman” aren’t basic personalities, they’re character traits. They don’t tell us anything about how someone will act in a given situation, and make for poor, flat characterization.

Write what you want to read.

No, really. I know that the urge to pander is strong, as is the desire to give the people what they want. But you’re people, too. Give yourself what you want. Is this hard? You bet. But it’s worth it when someone tells you “God, reading this is so refreshing. I’m so glad it wasn’t exactly like everything else.”

Voltron-specific stuff incoming here, but I feel like it’s important. Listen. Don’t write a fic where Keith and Lance have one (1) drawn-out argument before falling in hapless, sappy love, where Keith and Shiro are brothers and Hunk and Pidge are the Hilarious Meme Sidekicks, just because you feel like you have to. If you’re really passionate about that scenario, then by all means write it, but don’t do it because you’re afraid that’s all people are going to want to read. It’s not true. More likely than not, they’re sick of reading the same fic for the millionth time, and they’d love to see your take on things.

Remember: Fanon isn’t the law. Not even canon is the law. Follow your kokoro. Go weird places. You do you. I will be cheering you on.


Kudos to you if you read this entire mess. I hope it could be of some help. Now go write! I believe in you, friendo.

anonymous asked:

What do you think of Joaquim Dos Santos describing Shiro as Keith's "big bro"? (from the same interview where he and Lauren Montgomery explicitly stated k/l wouldn't be canon, around the 3:40 mark) Personally I have a sort of conflicted reading of that, because they don't rule it out (tho they weren't asked either), but it comes across as a pretty nonromantic reading of their relationship, which makes me wonder what they're planning on doing with it in canon.

Honestly? I don’t think it means sheith isn’t gonna happen. Relationships are organic, ever changing and evolving. Just because you used to see a close friend as being like a brother doesn’t mean that feeling can’t grow into something more. When Joaquim say that, the context is “I mean, he’s experienced loss in his life, in his childhood. And Shiro is, I think more so than the other characters is his pillar, is like his big bro. So he felt that loss.” So it’s more so about what Shiro has been to him in the past rather than how he feels looking forward? So again, things can always change.

And what’s interesting is, sheith somehow gets a lot of hate because it’s “disgusting” to interpret sheith as romantic just because of Keith’s “You’re like a brother to me.” But this way of thinking is incredibly transparent:

  • For one thing, Shiro first says “We’re your family.We as in, all the paladins. And we get Keith’s brother line in response to it. Clearly, Keith thinks of all of Team Voltron as found family. Given also Hunk’s “we’re brothers” line about all the paladins and how Allura tells Keith she came to think of the paladins as her “new family”–well, on the basis interpreting sheith is “disgusting” then so is kl/ance, ka/llura, sha/llura, han/ce, pla/nce, ect. It’s no reason to rule out sheith and latching onto one line and taking it out of context while refusing to acknowledge all the other paladins’ familiar relationship–again, it’s very transparent
  • It’s also important to remember that when Keith says the brother line it’s in response to Shiro saying they’re all family. But rather that just agreeing, Keith focuses on his relationship with Shiro. Whatever he feels for Shiro, it’s obvious it goes well beyond his bond with the other paladins (who we know he already views in a familial context
  • This deeper connection is also decidedly very much not platonic in it’s sense of intensity. There’s a desire and desperation to it that just goes well beyond the bounds of a mutual friendship and feels more like unrequited love. It’s the gravity in the charged atmosphere of things like Keith’s mourning, their reunions, the bedroom scene, ect.
  • Keith’s desire for Shiro is again something you wouldn’t expect from just a bro. Shiro is the manifestation of his greatest hopes and dreams, the person he “desperately wants to see.” And when Shiro walks away, he tells Keith he’ll be all alone without him. It’s been said that “Keith latches onto Shiro at times because Shiro’s sort of the only thing that can really calm him down and keep him in check,” and “[Keith’s] always scared he’s gonna say or do something wrong and he’s gonna lose Shiro.” You don’t see Pidge “obsess” over Matt or imply that without him she’s all alone, that he’s someone she “latches onto” because he’s the only thing that can center her. You don’t live in fear that your brother’s not going to return your feelings and suddenly get up and leave you. That’s something very characteristic of a one-sided romantic interest. 
  • The romantic aspect of their relationship is further underscored by all the parallels between sheith and zaggar. Those are very much intentional. It’s literally confirmed when Joaquim mentioned that “Keith has this emotional side to him” and Lauren added that “It’s kind of exasperated by the fact that Shiro’s gone. He’s having a hard time dealing with it, he doesn’t really know how to feel. And yeah I think he just goes back to that inner part of himself where it’s just—he can’t control his emotions. And that comes from the galra side.” We see this some singular devotion and intensely passionate feelings in Zarkon’s love for Honerva. She’s even able to calm him the same way Shiro does for Keith (”Honerva has really softened you up old friend.”)
  • And you know, given that Keith’s literal worst fear is feelings, I’m pretty sure it’s understandable why he’d try not to let his love for Shiro show. Something like that would complicate things and risk their friendship–remember how Josh said he’s always scared that one wrong move would cost him Shiro? Yeah, it’s understandable if he’d keep that to himself. Also, as someone bi, it’s pretty damn common that you’d have feelings for a close friend of the same gender, but then panic and say they’re like a brother or sister instead of confessing. Because you don’t want to risk losing them. I’ve done it before, and so have plenty of other people. It’s normal and I can totally see Keith in a similar position 
  • Lastly, the “you’re like a brother to me” is common in the progression of friends to lovers trope. We see it all the time in straight couples, so I don’t understand why it’s suddenly taboo if you try to apply it to two guys. I promise you you’ve seen this play out in media before. Like:

Consider also–this scene from The Ember Island Players: (given that, you know, both Avatar and Voltron were made by studio mir)

Aang: Did you really mean what you said in there?…when you said I was just like a brother to you and you didn’t have feelings for me?

Katara: I didn’t say that. An actor said that.”

Aang: But it’s true, isn’t it?

And don’t forget:

So yeah. Just because a relationship might start out one way doesn’t mean it can’t grow or evolve over time. I wouldn’t worry about it honestly 

Accidental Kissing

Hi there! I’ve really wanted to start incorporating writing into my blog and this is my first real attempt. I wrote this on my own, and it’s just some phan fluff, but I’d love to write more if you guys want to send prompts or anything like that <3

Summary: Phil has a crush on Dan and during a gaming video Phil might accidentally kiss him.

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone or anything in this writing other than the writing itself

Please don't repost this anywhere or claim it as your own <3

~~~~

Keep reading

veganism by proxy and dangers of assumption

this is unrelated to anything else on my blog and mostly likely no one will ever read it and that’s okay I think I just need to get it out of my head and into the living world

Three of my best friends, two of whom I live with, are vegan. Their friends are vegan and their friend’s friends are vegan, and they work at vegan restaurants and we cook vegan, I bake them vegan treats and we generally have a fantastic time. I’m not vegan, but I’ve always eaten vegan food and tried out alternatives whenever I can. I’ve never been the type to make fun of vegan stereotypes, because I think it requires a lot of dedication, passion, and effort to be vegan. I’m not a huge meat eater and I try to be aware of what I’m eating and where it came from and the process it took to get to my mouth, while still indulging in the foods I love and the tastes that make live worth living. dramatic? absolutely but I really fucking love food y'all

None of my friends have ever tried to convert me or (that I know of) judge me or my eating habits, but every so often I meat someone (heh) who isn’t satisfied with my usual answer of “I’m not vegan, but I cook and eat vegan often” and feel the need to go “well why don’t you just go vegan then?”

Does asking someone about their personal choices becomes less personal when it’s something you care a lot about? I don’t think so, but that might not be a shared opinion.

The girl who asked this (this time, because there’s definitely been others) didn’t just drop it once I said “Ah, just personal reasons. I think it’s an incredible movement though and I’m glad it’s gaining popularity.” because that would’ve been too polite. She pressed on.

“But if you think it’s so incredible why wouldn’t you just do it? You say you love animals, but you’re contributing to their murder. You’re just a hypocrite.”
So I said what I initially didn’t want to, because I knew it would just make a semi-pleasant conversation into an awkward silence all because this girl doesn’t know how to respect other people’s choices without disparaging them.

“Well I had a severe eating disorder for seven years, so I stay away from restricting or cutting foods out of my diet. It puts me into a dangerous mindset, so I try to be conscious of that and take care of myself before anything.”

Even after saying this I felt I was still being judged. She had the decency to look a little embarrassed for prying, but I don’t necessarily believe she left thinking “maybe I should stop assuming I know the intricacies of strangers’ lives”. Which is what it all comes down to. Assumptions.

I love animals. Animals have been what showed me true love, what taught me understanding and helped me find happiness and purpose ever since I was young. My cat died years ago and I still break out in tears (regularly). What’s more is I have been vegan, and every time I do it I think I’ll be able to handle it, and every time I’ve ended up underweight, restricting, anemic, in the hospital, or with a severely disordered way of thinking. It happens eventually with any change in diet I try. I don’t like having to explain to someone why I think it’s important to put myself, my mental health, and my physical wellbeing first. We all have deeply personal decisions about our lives that we have to make. It’s up to us as individuals to decide how our (very short) experience on this world will be.

I try not to share my stances and opinions on tumblr and just stay for the fun things I love like anime, humor, video games, art. I feel as if I have a lot of grey area stances that aren’t emotion driven (and therefore come off as cold or unfeeling) and people online generally don’t like hearing morally ambiguous viewpoints, because there’s always going to be someone who disagrees, right? I hope this isn’t taken as an anti-vegan post, because it isn’t. Veganism is an amazing movement and lifestyle that’s saving lives, water, resources and more. This is an anti-judgement post, though. It’s anti-assumption. Assumption is a toxic part of our culture. It’s assuming you know how someone else thinks. It’s assuming you understand what they’ve been through to bring themselves to a certain stance or choice or belief.


If even one person read this, thanks man. If even one person remembers this and thinks of it while practicing patience with an opposing viewpoint (no matter how passionate you are on the subject) I’ll be stupid happy.

anonymous asked:

hi ! i read through all your fic recs and i was hoping you might have some more ? i don't read smut myself, so i really like the ones you rec ^^

omg hi, sweetpea!! but yes, i do have some new recs in my likes that i haven’t been able to add to my recs page! also, thank you for giving me another reason to procrastinate from midterm studying, much love ♡

♣︎ blazing arrows by @daddychiminie

[ jimin x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst, future smut | supernatural au ]

part one. part two. part three. to be continued.

it’s a cupid au, and i really enjoy it so far. jimin is cupid and made a mistake by hitting you with an arrow, so he comes down to fix it, and i just really enjoy the playful bantering between the reader and jimin, and it’s so cute. the grocery scene is really adorable in part two, and i laughed way too hard at the magazine incident and the cart scene, oh god, i just really want a boyfriend to do that with me after reading that. AND I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU POSTED PART THREE SO BE RIGHT BACK, GOING TO READ THAT NOW.

edit: okay i have finished reading part three, and i’m on the floor from all the feels. i have never felt anything for jimin before, but gosh darn it, this is desperately making me want a hug from him. 

♣︎ the thing about love by @zephyoongist

[ taehyung x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst | college au ]

oneshot.

I’M STILL SO SALTY OVER THIS, PABLO. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. but anyway, it’s still so very beautifully written and i cry, why do you do this to me and my poor, nonexistent heart?? taehyung is such a angelic and godly human being, he doesn’t deserve this.

♣︎ why people fall in love by @zephyoongist

[ jungkook x reader | fluff | friends with benefits / fake dating au ]

oneshot.

because anything and everything fae writes is magical and wonderful even though she does annoy me about jungcocky all the time. i remember reading this a long time ago, and i said she wasn’t going to love him back, and then you yelled at me. good times.

♣︎ love in colors by @lushguk

[ taehyung x reader | angst, fluff | soulmate / reincarnation au ]

oneshot.

gosh, i love mel so much, and her writing is so so breath taking. this is one of my absolute favorites because art and taehyung? my two passions lmao. i remember throwing my bunny plushie in frustration and then apologizing to it after i read the airport scene.

♣︎ the first and last of us by @lushguk

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut, angst | childhood bestfriends au ]

oneshot.

let me just lay here and die from the overwhelming amount of emotions i felt after reading this. mel has completely wrecked me with this, and her writing gives such a nostalgic and melancholic feeling that left me wanting to cry a waterfall. i’m pretty sure i screamed about this scenario to her too much.

♣︎ the pistol star by @kairoseok

[ jungkook x reader feat. hoseok | angst, fluff | supernatural au ]

oneshot.

this is a combination of astrology and beautiful beings, and i’m so in awe over this. just the way it was written and how every detail was crafted so intricately had me reading and rereading this scenario over and over again. her writing is really quite phenomenal and unique.

♣︎ 2 assholes play cards against humanity by @cosykims

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | youtuber au ]

oneshot.

because i love cards against humanity and because this is hilarious and cute and i love it. and also because her photoshopping skills for yoongi’s channel is incredible. and i rec her hogwarts!bts bulletpoint scenarios too!! i think i recced them before, but i gotta do it again because they’re amazing and i’m still in love with them.

♣︎ caffeine, crimson cheeks, and cashiers by @cinnaminsvga

[ taehyung x reader | fluff | college au ]

oneshot.

because i love fluff and happy endings, and tae is the cutest, and i can relate to this scenario on so many levels right now. “to noodle or not to noodle, that is the question” is too real. i’m questioning myself that at this very moment. where can i shop to get a cute cashier!tae to ring me up with a date??

 ♣︎ i want to kiss you (i know it’s 2 am) by @1rapmon

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | slice of life au ]

oneshot.

i honestly lost track of how many times i read this scenario because it’s so amazing and shows the dynamics of their relationship so wonderfully. gosh, the dialogue is so great, and i found myself smiling the entire time whilst reading this. del my soft and radiant goddess, ily to the moon and back.

♣︎ the countdown by @dreamscript

[ taehyung x reader feat. yoongi | fluff | slice of life au ]

oneshot.

taehyung is overdramatic, you’re amused, and yoongi is just so done with everything. oh, and throw in a dying confession. this scenario holds such a special place in my heart, and ily, rys, the other half of #rat and all hail rysism. rys writes my favoritest scenarios that have the best mix between fluff and comedy.

♣︎ in watercolor by @annyeongs

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut | photographer au ]

oneshot.

i love love loooove mia, the prettiest babe in the universe!! i also love love loooove her writing and how everything she types is so poetic and lovely and makes me feel happy. in this scenario, the reader is called art by yoongi, and yoongi is actual art, but mia is the true masterpiece here.

Just a High School Crush

Pairing: Dean x Reader, past Dean x Lisa, Sam x Jess, Anna x …everyone

Tags: AU: High School, fluff, underage drinking, bad and awkward flirting, dean’s a sweetie, smut, friends to lovers, kinda.

Words: 6900

A/N: HERE’S A LONG FIC WITH SMUT BC I’VE BEEN AWAY FOR SO LONG, IM SO SORRY, I’VE JUST BEEN SO BUSY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, HERE IS MY PEACE OFFERING.

Originally posted by mostly-jensen

Forever Tagging: @kay-marie19,  @classicteenagenothing, @that1awkwardfangirl,  @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel,  @writingbeautifulmen,@immostlyconfused  @sii88,@feministcastiel,@iamflanneltrash,@wrapbuckyinablanket,@restricted-illusion,  @imtotallyaunicorn ,  @chickenmcsade,@xtina2191,  @doctorcziken,@envydean, @itsoliviajohn,  @that1seniorchick,@sis-tafics, @ilovetardisblue,  @iwantthedean,@wibly-wobly-winchester,  @mrswhozeewhatsis,@drarina1737,@milkymilky-cocopuff, @ellen-reincarnated1967,  @a-sea-of-fandoms,@voidobsession,  @that1seniorchick,@purgatoan, @rikkielovesmusic88 ,@maddieburcham1,@shippingismythang ,@a-broken-hunter,@fangirlofeverythingme,@senselesssamii , @darquethoughts , @kris–ann–,@capislife123 ,@katekitoka,@starswirlblitz,@hillface89, @chipmunkrightsactivist,@mogaruke, @emoryhemsworth, @s4m-w1nch3st3r5287, @deanbean-and-samsquatch ,@pretttypadalecki , @frankiea1998, @exploratiionist,@xxmizzlexx,@kittenofdoomage, @-music4ever- , @wayward-ella, @sandlee44, @dracoswaifu , @pie-not-cake-you-assbutt ,@barbedwireandbubblegum 

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adlethstillio  asked:

A week ago I thought I had my anxiety under control.... ButT today I feel like I don't deserve to be called "adult" and this morning felt like I couldn't handle any more. THEN I learned that my psychiatrist bill is $700, not the $40 copay I was expecting. I know there are ups and downs, but fuck. This down hurts. A lot. I'm back to some obsessive tendencies I haven't done in months. Any tips for the down days?

I am so sorry. That sucks.

When I have down days, I do the best I can (being gentle with myself, and forgiving, because what is my best varies from day to day) to remember that this isn’t the first time I’ve had a down day, and to give myself credit for making it through.

“Ah, but that was different, this time is THE WORST,” your brain will say. And then we have to remember that our brain says that every single time, because depression lies.

I try to remember (and so I try to help others remember) that you don’t deserve this crap. This isn’t happening because of something you did or didn’t do; it’s just the way our brains are wired.

I focus on doing cognitive behavioral therapy, which is basically identifying a negative emotion (sadness, despair, etc.) and focusing on something awesome that made me happy, to replace it. For example, I may read a news story about one of my friends getting a gig I desperately wanted, and instead of being super happy for them, I’ll feel sad for me. When that happens, I have to deliberately think about and remember the specific emotional experience I had when I did something cool that I felt good about. I do my best to relive it, sort of turning up the mental volume on it, until I can’t hear (feel) the bad stuff.

That’s oversimplifying it, and maybe I’m not explaining it well, but it’s one tool that works for me.

I notice that, in your ask, you didn’t say anything about giving up or stopping therapy, and I wanted you to know that I’m proud of you for refusing to be a victim, and for sticking with your treatment and therapy to take good care of yourself.

Check in with me and let me know how you’re doing in a few days, okay? I promise you that it will get better. You are stronger than you think.

Today’s 8th January, the day Detective Conan first aired in Japan and I wanna talk about my favourite character: Ran Mouri.

I have a love-hate relationship with the anime staff and the movie staff when it comes to Ran.

I remember watching DC and the movies a few years ago after coming back from a hiatus and I didn’t like Ran. She was kidnapped multiple times, made to play the victim, didn’t add anything to the movies except for calling for Shinichi and made to play the damsel in distress. Even if she did have a good sequence, it was ruined in the later part of the story, which led to me not liking her, even though she used to be one of my favourite characters.

But when I was done watching the anime and the movies, I switched to the manga. I re-read the whole thing and I fell in love with her again. And so I came to realize that the episodes I didn’t like the way Ran acted were mostly Anime Original episodes. They didn’t exist in the manga, which is the canon universe. The same was true with the movies. Her being made to play the ‘typical female lead’ who cries for the male lead, makes dumb decisions etc didn’t exist in the canon universe.

In canon, she’s a badass, sensitive woman who does well with her life even though her childhood friend/love interest has been gone for 6 months with little contact. She takes care of her family. She protects her friends. She breaks down but still gets up. She empathizes. She worries. She hesitates. She lives with a set of strict morals. She doesn’t play the damsel in distress. She doesn’t back away from a challenge or cry for Shinichi at the littlest things. She tries to work it out on her own but when she does reach her limits or she knows that there are certain things that Shinichi would be better at, she’s humble enough to let him take the lead.

I love the canon-Ran. Her character’s stayed consistent throughout this manga and at no point, I’ve felt like that she did something  that was out of character for her. Even when she saw the fortune which said that she needed to change so that Shinichi would come to like her and she tried to, I didn’t feel like it was something to hate her over, which many people did, saying, ‘how weak is she for wanting to change for a man’ but I empathized with her because once in a while people find someone they admire or like and they do try to change themselves so that the other person could like them back. It was such a human, vulnerable emotion and I remember it distinctly. 

The recent non-canon Anime Original and movies Ran, is the one on which I’m not sold. Mostly because she’s relegated to playing the victim, when she can take care of herself very well. She’s added to the recent movies just for the sake of being there because she’s a main cast member and her role is reduced to just using her karate or calling for Shinichi/Conan. Movie 21 was a slight reprieve though. While I like how strong she is and love to see her when she’s kicking ass, I don’t like how one-dimensional her role is restricted to. She’s left out of the loop and isn’t allowed to help when she obviously can.

So, anime staff, give my girl a chance to be who she actually is. A badass, sensitive and sweet woman who’s smart and intuitive enough that she solved a case for her friend, remembered that Wada Shinichi was a false name and realized that it wasn’t actually Azusa who was with Amuro at the ASACA concert rehearsal. She’s brave enough to confront the said ‘Azusa’, boldly slide a curtain to shield the man who had the intention to kill the culprit and himself because it was the right thing to do.

Let her be herself.

anonymous asked:

Hello! Sorry if you've been asked this already but could you recommend me any fics where they are sorted in different houses? I've been reading some of those and I've loved them so... please? Ps. Sorry for my grammar, English is not my first language and I still struggle a little :D

@awesomesauceuniverse said: Could you recommend some fics where Draco is in Ravenclaw?

Hello! I’ve never sought out this trope, so unfortunately I don’t know very many different-House fics, but here are the few that stand out in my memory! Also, I’m not going to include any Slytherin!Harry fics on this list, because I’ve already made a separate rec list for that:

SLYTHERIN HARRY :)

Drarry in Different Houses

Chaos Theory by @tessacrowley (103K)- Chaos: when the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future. One gene varies, one neuron fires, one butterfly flaps its wings, and Draco Malfoy’s life is completely different. Draco has always found a certain comfort in chaos. Perhaps he shouldn’t. Featuring Genius!Draco.
This fic is INTENSE. I read it a really long time ago, but I STILL remember how emotional it made me! Make sure you read the trigger warnings in the notes, but if you want MAJOR FEELS, then you will absolutely love this one! Harry and Draco become friends right from the start and they’re so CUTE, and I just accidentally reread the first 10 or so chapters, that’s how good the writing is! Truly a classic :) [RAVENCLAW DRACO]

Golden Age by @lol-zeitgeistic (52.5K)- The Celtic druids once made a decision that kept magic in abundance in Britannia, but they couldn’t account for the technological advances Muggles would make centuries later. Now magic is dying on the isles, and this is not a dark lord that Harry can fight. OR: Harry Potter doesn’t save the world this time, but he does get a lot of hugs.
YO, GUYS, this fic is SO VERY GOOD. I was hooked right from the start! For some reason everyone I’ve recced this fic to has been reluctant at first about Hufflepuff!Drarry, but then everyone ends up loving it (I told you so!) because it is GREAT and SO CREATIVE and read itttttt!!! [HUFFLEPUFF HARRY AND DRACO]

Earthbound Spook by cest_what (57.5K)- Two months after Draco Malfoy was reported dead, Harry and Ron found him tangled in Strangler Ivy on the grounds of Hogwarts.
This fic is such fun to read! I adore horcrux hunting fics with all my being, and alternate dimension Draco makes this one extremely memorable! I see it being recced all the time, with very good reason :) [GRYFFINDOR DRACO]

anonymous asked:

Hey ^^. I've seen the spoiler, and i'm really confused now. According to the spoiler someone arrives, soma opens the door and gets shot. Soma even speaks such line as "If you don't hurry up, I'll have the desserts all by myself", "You don't look well, is something wrong?", I mean he must be talking to ciel, at least he thinks so. But the carriage looks different, besides, i don't think Ciel wants to kill Soma. So Is it the twin? By the way, I can't see the twin's purpose in killing Soma

Hey Anon :) A translation got out by now so I hope you read the new chapter before reading my response. To answer your question, basically I agree with @akumadeenglish‘s post:

  • Seeing Soma’s reaction, it’s someone he has met before
  • but at the same time I really doubt it’s our!Ciel because Soma’s reaction was more lukewarm compared to how he generally reacts to Ciel (even if the last time we saw Ciel & Seb, Seb said they were going back to the house). 

Of course there are other possibilities at this point, but since it feels like the more we get into this arc the less things we speculated on make sense, personally I’m trying to avoid crack theorizing too much and so I’ll bet on the twin (probably Lord Sirius) for now. :)

As for what’s the purpose of the twin (if that’s him) for trying to kill Soma, well, that’s just my opinion but…

If we say that somehow Ciel sacrificed his twin 4 years ago (even if I don’t know exactly how that happened), which is why Seb appeared in the first place, if the twin survived/became a BD and was told/remembered about what happened, maybe he decided to take revenge on Ciel because of what happened 4 years ago and of Ciel taking his identity?

A revenge that would include:

  • shooting Soma, because he is Ciel’s “friend” even if Ciel doesn’t agree on that
  • but also taking Lizzie away from him (through emotional manipulation because she is probably very pained and confused)
  • all that in order to hurt our!Ciel.

I mean, some readers will never agree on that, but I think Soma’s words in the new chapter about Ciel are spot on:

Ciel already lost his parents (and twin) 4 years ago + Ann a year ago now, so take away the few people Ciel actually still cares about (Lizzie mostly, but maybe Soma to some extent as well, since they’ve known each other for a year now) and it would be easy to hurt him, no matter how much he pretends not to care at all. 

That’s how I see it for now anyway so I hope it’s understandable and I’m sorry if it’s not, since there are still a lot of things I can’t be sure about (namely UT’s role in all this, I’m just not sure of anything anymore).

Thanks for passing by and have a nice Kuro positivity day tomorrow, Anon :3 


Hey Anon! And I guess it’s different for everyone, depending on what you’re skeptical/didn’t like about the 2CT?
When I see how the more we get into this arc the less we can be sure of anything, I think it’s sure that Yana actually planned it long ago so that it would supposedly make sense, so I’m giving her a chance to convince me until this arc is over. :)

Personally, even if I don’t like the hidden twin trope (simply because it’s not my fav option when it comes to fiction), I’ll be more or less okay with the 2CT as long as:

  1. the main plot, current arc and future arcs still make sense storytelling-wise 

  2. the twin creates drama because he’s supposed to be a villain and not a poor little angel who just was a victim all along (seeing as he possibly just shot Soma/Agni tho, I’m not so worried about that point xD)

  3. the characters (namely Lizzie and UT) still make sense with everything that we learnt about them so far, UT being the one I’m the most worried about recently (since I’m not sure anymore of where he fits in the current arc).

That’s what I’m asking of Kuroshitsuji in general anyway, so it’s not just because the 2CT is becoming canon, even if I might become a bit more intransigent about character developments in the future (because the cast is the main reason I like Kuroshitsuji as much as I do). 

Sorry if that doesn’t help but thanks for passing by and happy Kuro positivity day to you for tomorrow, Anon :3

anonymous asked:

help i need help!!! i'm on season 2 ep 5 rn, and i really want to like lance but i can't :(( i just find him annoying and obnoxious and i don't know how to like him. please help?

Don’t worry, but I am so sorry this is probably going to be long…

Lance has many qualities that I endear, he’s funny, intelligent, selfless, and quite frankly he is the heart of the team. “The blue lion is… it seems to be the lion that I most associate with like, holding the team together. There’s something about teamwork with the blue lion. Like […] about providing what’s needed at the time, and being flexible, which I think is kind of a little bit of the water element of the blue lion. It ties into being a leg, too, you know. Legs are all about support.” [x]

Lance is honestly one of my favorite characters ever…

Lance is incredibly selfless even in the littlest of ways. In S1EP4 He is able to figure out quite fast that Rover was not the actual Rover thus throwing himself and shielding Coran causing himself to be badly injured then later during the fight despite almost nearly dying, when his teammates are in trouble he emerges from his coma and is able to make an amazing shot at the enemy before passing back out. Another time this happens is in S1EP9, Lance out right believes the castle in haunted and is scared yet when a voice that sounds like Coran cries out for help, Lance immediately straightens up, forgetting all fear to rescue Coran and runs to the source of the voice. Another display of this is when He doesn’t want to worry the rest of his teammates (He excuses himself from the party so he doesn’t sour the mood because he was feeling homesick in S1EP4) which I think is why he rather be known as the person who can lighten the mood/class clown of the team, making it easier for him to bottle up his emotions and not cause unnecessary trouble to everyone.

Lance is actually humble. Lance wants to be seen as a hero, but in reality that’s not who he thinks he actually is. He may want the parades, glory, and to be seen as the best but when it comes down to it, does he think he actually is worthy of it? Not really and that shows in S2EP2 when he is captured by the mermaids and they call him their savior. You can see it in his face, the worry and question because woah why me? You think I’m your savior? I’m just Lance. Then when the mermaids say “We believe you can stop her”, his face shifts into an uneasy expression probably because he doesn’t believe he could actually stop her. “He’s kind of cool, but he’s kind of a goof,” continued Montgomery. “I like Lance because he feels the most human. He’s got those insecurities, but he tries so hard to cover them up. That’s what’s kind of fun about him. He wants to be the cool guy. He wants it so bad, but not exactly…” [x]
In S2EP10, He thinks so highly of all his teammates, complimenting each of them and bragging about them to a complete stranger, but when he gets to himself he pauses and thinks perhaps he’s not as great as how he sees the rest of his fellow paladins. But my gosh, Lance is much more than meets the eye. 

Lance is so smart. Lance in canon is good at reading people and the situation, he has an awareness of others and is able to make pretty good calls. We see a lot of it in the very first episode and more of it whenever Shiro is absent. Without most of us fully realizing, Lance is able to step up his leadership game and is able to give out orders to the rest of the team, and make calm, collected decisions. Lance is able to put one and two together and come up with plans quickly. In S1EP7, He stops Keith from being reckless and hurting the Balmera, coming up with a great alternative plan that is successful, not once, but twice during that episode. “But also, he does evolve. There’s aspects to his character that will start coming more into the forefront as the series goes on. You’ll see him take steps to real leadership material.” [x] And this is only the beginning of the show, we have to remember we only have two seasons released out of the planned six. We still have so much more to look forward to in regards of Lance’s growth.

I love Lance’s dynamic because yes he is a goof ball and he probably doesn’t pick the best times to crack a joke, but he’s exceedingly a talented marksman, and not only the heart of Team Voltron, but the heart of the show itself. I love Lance, not because he’s perfect but because he isn’t. Which is why I think many people project onto him. He’s so human. He is flawed but is constantly growing, adapting, and learning from his mistakes.

Three years ago I was dealing with a bout of depression. It was not unusual, I’ve had depression and anxiety for almost as long as I can remember. But this bout followed my thirtieth birthday. I was not upset about turning thirty. I did not think my life was over or that my youth was behind me. Rather, I was in the middle of an amazing year full of the freedom that came with stepping away from religious oppression, finding my own faith and defining what that meant to me, and coming off of a year of painful fertility drugs and the decision not to continue treatment. I’d honestly never felt better.

And yet … depression.

I got that apathetic kind of depression where nothing seems fun or exciting or even remotely attention grabbing enough to pull me out of bed. I was just … stuck. I was missing something. 

As I do when I’m in a depression, I binged watched things. On a random Saturday, I stumbled upon Deathly Hallows Part One playing on ABC Family, likely during one of their marathons. 

“God I forgot how much I fucking love these movies.”

I’d seen almost every one in theatre. He-Man had read the books religiously (and even worked at a book store during the release of the first few). I knew the general plot because he is utterly incapable of NOT sharing things with me when he’s reading. So when the movies came out, of course we went. He fumed and fumed in his seat over missing characters and twisted plotlines, and I laughed and laughed until some random kid behind me loudly whispered to his friend “That’s the one that dies at the end” when Cedric Diggory first appeared on screen. (Seriously. WTF, you little brat?)

Rather than read the books, I’d spent time playing on Pottermore and the wiki pages learning ingredients to potions and the etymology behind the spells. I loved the world that JKR created, but I suck when it comes to reading fiction. My attention span (especially in my twenties) was garbage. 

So in the last week of June 2014, I borrowed my mother-in-law’s DVDs of the movies and binged them all. I laughed, I cried, I FELT something for the first time in weeks. Emotions. Feeling. Life. Magic. 

“I want to read the books now. I need to read the books.”

So I read them. I read several chapters every night out loud while my husband played video games. I laughed when he cried. He laughed when I cried. I did voices, and we argued over exactly how pompous Lockhart should sound. I gasped during parts that were not in the movies. “Why is Molly being such a bitch to Sirius?” “Wait, who are all these other elves?” “Dumbledore’s a shit. I’m glad he’s dead!” “OMG Tonks. OMG Fred. OMG Remus. OMG I hate this so much.”

And I loved it.

I loved it so much. 

I felt like an addict waiting for my husband to get home each night so I could keep reading. I begged him, “Just two more chapters. I’m almost done with this book!” even as I LITERALLY lost my voice in the middle of Deathly Hallows. 

Then, like magic, I remembered that the story didn’t have to end. I’d been RPing written stories with friends for two decades, and I’d stumbled into fanfiction from time to time. So I knew what sites to go to.

I read epilogue continuations first. I wanted to know what happened after. Then I thought, “I wonder what if …?” And I fell head first into the deep end of Dramione, Marauders, and a crap ton of Marriage Law and Time-Turner fics.

“I have an idea. I want to be apart of this. I think I have a story in me.”

And three years later, I have a life. A hobby. A PASSION. I’ve made amazing friends, rebuilt a really fucked up self esteem and sense of pride, learned a lot about grammar and story structure, and helped to add building blocks to a fandom that saved me. 

I can’t believe it’s been three years.

Thank you all, for some of the best three years of my life.

♥♥♥ Shaya ♥♥♥

anonymous asked:

jess! any chance you have any drarry fics you could rec that are on the happier/fluffier side? I haven't read many so anything you can think of I would appreciate! thanks in advance :)

DO I EVER, ANON!!!! :’’) I haven’t read much fic in general lately so most of these I’ve talked about before I’m sure, but they’re all SO GOOD they deserve to be recced repeatedly!!!

[CRACKING KNUCKLES]

  • All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (and corresponding *incredible* podfic-  if the idea of isolated professor draco malfoy slowly learning to integrate himself into hogwarts, make friends, and ~fall in luv~ warms the cockles of your heart, READ!! THIS!!! FIC!!!
    • featuring a) harry spelling draco’s eyebrows bright gryffindor red b) draco’s pet beetle stanley tacking his way through life c) one of the most heartwarming and Soft™ slow burns of all time
  • Stop and Stare by Saras_Girl - “This is not a story full of drama or conflict or clothes being ripped off in a frenzy. It is about peace and about that creeping sort of love that sneaks up on you while you think you are busy doing other things.”
    • ^ aka everything I ever want ever
    • draco runs an animal sanctuary. harry agrees to build him a shed. includes at least fifty instances of the two of them being unbearably adorable and TAKING CARE OF ANIMALS TOGETHER
    • also features Mama and Resident Cat Lady Narcissa Malfoy pointedly asking harry if he’s “seeing anyone” over tea, sending my emotionally constipated slytherin son into a coughing fit
    • YOU DON’T WANNA MISS IT
  • Wish Upon a Star (As Dreamers Do) by ICMezzo - “There’s plant magic and celestial magic and dark magic and normal magic…Then there are wishes, and dreams, and love, and those are even more magical still.”
    • draco is a wishmaker (i’M EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT) and harry is a hogwarts consultant who has a wish to make
    • BONDING AND TEASING OVER MAKING WISH POTIONS TOGETHER IS A THING THAT OCCURS
  • Seeing Draco Malfoy by khalulu - harry loses his glasses and they end up in draco’s hands…THINGS ESCALATE.
    • in which harry buys draco flowers and then upon being asked “you brought me flowers?” immediately splutters “nO!??!?1″
    • ALSO featuring: harry complimenting draco by telling him he has a “face like a white - pointiness”
    • you just can’t make this stuff up
  • Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill - THE CLASSIC!!!! includes a healthy dose of angst but mostly will delight your socks off. eighth year shenanigans!!! the whole hogwarts crew being wonderful!!! guaranteed to make you cry over chocolate cupcakes for the rest of your life!!! A MUST READ
  • Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi - another with a healthy dose of ~serious emotions~ but it’s also an absolute delight and I’D BE REMISS TO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE EVERYONE READ IT IMMEDIATELY. it’s one of the best!!!!
    • “Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.”
    • featuring some of the Greatest Characterization Ever, lots of teasing and bickering, and lots of draco malfoy being perpetually pissy about just how beautiful The Chosen One is
    • “Thin winter sunlight gleamed off his high cheekbones, yet another in a long line of irritations.”
    • “Sorry, what?” Potter asked, all flawless brown skin and sharp jawline, the arsehole.
    • R E A D  I T

okay, I’ll leave you with those six for now. apologies if you didn’t want me to ramble for ages about how great all of these are but…your first mistake would be assuming I have self-control :o)

HOPE THESE SUIT YOU, LOVELY ANON!!! :’’) they’re all utterly fantastic and I cannot imagine you not loving any single one of them. please enjoy and do let me know if you read any!!!! :3 <33333333

anonymous asked:

i really liked your meta about sansa/littlefinger but i found out you ship sansan :/ don't you think that what he's doing to her is at least a little bit abusive? sexually and emotionally? their relationship is SO disturbing and creepy, he's a grown ass man clearly sexually & romantically attracted to an 11/12 year old girl, WHY would you ship it???? i don't understand.

First, thank you for liking my meta.  Here’s the thing… I wrote that meta based on textual analysis and in response to how the book community discusses Sansa’s complicated and conflicting feelings toward LF.  Many people mistakenly believe this is Sansa becoming his protege.  I did not write it with the intention of telling some shippers why they are “wrong.”     

As far as shipping goes, I’m a very ship and let ship person.  This is even when, and especially when, it’s a ship I find weird or distasteful.  I stay in my little sandbox and I don’t pay attention to (let alone try to police) what other people want to ship.  I’m too old to be barking up that tree.  I’d rather spend time writing metas or my own fanfic.  Now if I actually am going to argue with anyone on the internet, it’s going to be about the actual ASOIAF text with evidence to back up my position.  Even then I’m highly unlikely to seek out such a debate but on a rare occasion some land on my doorstep.  So…

As to your questions, let me start with the age issue first.  Let me be clear in real life such a relationship would be criminal and immoral, as it should be.  But this is a fictional world where there are vastly different ideas of what is age appropriate.  Remember, the proper way to raise your seven-year-old boy is to take him to a beheading and make him watch everything without flinching (and that’s from our beloved Ned).  I have yet to meet anyone who cried child abuse over this or stopped reading at that point.  So I don’t put too much emphasis on chronological age in questions of morality in the series.  

What I do look at is Sansa’s level of maturity and understanding of relationships and sex.  I do care about her agency.  I don’t ship Sansan (or ship her with anyone) in the early books because she’s still mentally a child and an abused prisoner of war.  I want her to come to her own decisions about what she wants at her own pace, on her own terms.  The good news is GRRM does too.  He rightly separated them at the night of the Blackwater to evolve independently, but parallel to one another.  Alayne II in AFFC is my favorite chapter of this transition to womanhood and maturity, contemplations on sex and love from a young woman’s perspective. 

 I would highly recommend this non-shipper essay on Sansa’s Sexual Maturation by sweetsunray that deals with the unkiss and Sansa figuring out what she wants. (pssst!  It’s Sandor).  A large part of her struggle is coming to accept the fact that what she does want is not the ideal as she always believed it would be.  The books are full of people just wanting who they want and it has nothing to do with the ideal standards.      

Do I think Sandor is abusive to Sansa? Like Joffrey and Littlefinger are abusive toward her?  No.  Definitely not.  I think he was at times impatient and frustrated with her superficiality, naivete, and immaturity.  He’s too uncompromising and overly harsh at times with the truth as he sees it.  Yet, Sansa is not afraid to challenge him when he’s being awful.  She is totally afraid of saying the wrong thing in front of Joffrey or Littlefinger.  

The only reason Sandor cares at all about her is that she cared first.  She responded to his secret, his vulnerability with compassion.  For once in his life, someone took his side after the system rewarded his brother and failed him.  It’s not at this point anything romantic or sexual for either of them.  He responds to her compassion by being protective and supportive through her abuse.  She reawakens in him a desire to be better.  He’s a jaded idealist, not a nihilist.  He does seek out her attention because he does crave a connection with someone, even if he can’t people around her.   He doesn’t want the intimacy to end because of his loud and clumsy mishandling.  He’s also frustrated with himself that he even wants a connection in the first place because he hates/fears the vulnerability that comes with it.  He’s a ball of conflicting emotions about her that he has no experience in how to sort out.  It’s very important that Sandor is written as someone who is as inexperienced in relationships as Sansa.  It levels the playing field between them.    

It’s not until Sansa has obviously started developing into a woman that he even notices her in that way (because the whole castle has).  He’s very drunk and he blurts out the inappropriate comment about her body.  It’s a very bungled attempt at flirting coming from someone who is also very emotionally stunted.  BUT… after talking with her he realizes that mentally she is still very innocent.  He knows it’s wrong, so he backtracks out of there as fast as he can, falling into an awkward silence.  That is the very worst of anything sexual that actually happens between them and he backs off.  Even the night of the Blackwater he is very drunk and his behavior is scary and wildly inappropriate, but it never crossed the line into permanent damage.  He never actually did anything sexual to her. He also could have forced her to go with him, but he did not.  She made her choice, it hurt, but in the end, he respected her decision to not go with him.  Do I think maybe he wanted to kiss her?  Yeah, probably.  But he didn’t.  He is not Gregor.  He is not a rapist.  He cares about her autonomy.  He cares about her consent even if he kind lost his mind (from trauma) for a minute there which he really, really regretted.  

This all says problematic to me, not creepy.  There are issues to overcome.  Good!  Bring it on!  That makes a story.  Littlefinger is creepy.  He totally does not care about her consent, boundaries, or discomfort to say the very least.  Men of all different ages have groped her, forced kisses on her, stripped her, beat her, and have attempted to rape her.   

If you don’t ship Sansan that’s totally fine by me.  If it doesn’t speak to you, that’s cool.  Ship and let ship.  I will say Sansa x whoever shippers are probably going to be very disappointed come TWOW.  All the mountains of text evidence point to future Sansan.  I got a huuuuuge meta coming out soon that deals with all that complete with tons of evidence to back up my analysis. Bottom line, I ship future Sansan because GRRM ships it and Sansa ships it.  Whatever makes that baby girl happy I want her to have.  The good news is when the author reunites them it will be when they are both really ready and have dealt with the respective issues that made an earlier relationship a terrible idea.                             

kayla-ships-klaine-and-destiel  asked:

for the meta thing, have you done the dark one fight yet? y'know when emma finds killian after she turns him into the dark one and he just feels so betrayed? i love that scene!

The dark one fight is definitely one of my top favourite moments… because I am an angst whore.

Just a quick reminder - these are simply my thoughts and perceptions of the scenes, i’m in no way saying i’m right and i’m definitely not saying it’s exactly what happened. It’s purely my own interpretation and i’ve no doubt that most would probably disagree with my views. But please try to remember that these are only being made for fun and not to be taken seriously in any way.

Also this is probably the longest one i’ve done. You’ve been warned!!

And with that said, we shall begin!

He may be newly darkened, angry and hurting right now… but Killian Jones is still at the forefront. 

He still won’t see any harm come to Emma, even if he is upset with her right now.

He certainly won’t kill her to get his revenge.

Emma’s completely oblivious to just how upset he is. She’s just thankful it worked and he’s still alive.

But he soon clues her in. 

This is the first time we see Killian truly angry at Emma and expressing his feelings. And I think it’s great tbh.

This was one thing he asked of her, begged of her, and she refused him.

Emma’s trying to calm him, I don’t think she truly realises just yet what she’s done to him - she seems very relieved that her plan worked, and because it did, she’s more determined and sure than ever that they’re going to be fine.

They’ll get rid of the darkness together. 

This bit I find really interesting. 

He’s just asked her about excalibur, and Emma’s told him a lie. Rumple is of course meddling, but look at killian’s face there.

It’s quite similar to the face he has when he realises she’s after something from him on his ship.

He’s reading her.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Any guidelines/rules or tips you could give me for making an OC with DID? I don't want to be stereotypical or offensive, and I want to be as accurate as possible!

I (and we) totally appreciate that! Doing thorough research, especially by reading the many accounts of people who publicly share their stories, will be of great help. Some YouTubers (Autumn Asphodel, Multiplicity and Me) and some blogs (like The We in Me) could be great places to start. You’re also welcome to check out the #DIDchat tag on twitter to read experiences of real people living with DID. It’s a weekly chat, but the hashtag can be viewed at any time! 

Also, if you want a good feeling of what it’s like to live with DID, I’d recommend watching the show Sense8. It’s not actually about DID, but it’s basically exactly what living with DID is like lol. 

But, let’s see, if I were to help you write this disorder into “a” character, here’s what I’d suggest:

  1. Understand why DID forms: Simply (and subjectively) put, DID forms when a child under the age of nine experiences repeated trauma that they cannot handle. They detach from it (dissociation) and when this dissociation isn’t enough, their brain literally creates a family–more than one person–to handle the trauma. Think of your character not as an individual, but a family or team that was built to handle circumstances an individual couldn’t handle alone. DID is an adaptive and creative disorder.

  2. When writing a character with DID, you’re not just writing one character. People with DID aren’t a person with alters–many of us consider ourselves and our alters to all be equal. One may appear most often, but that doesn’t mean we’re more of a person. 

  3. Create complex backstories, worldviews, and motivations for each alter. Alters are full identities, meaning each one sees and experiences the world in a unique way. Essentially, create each alter into a whole individual person (with their innate “role” having to do with the trauma their whole system faced). Just like how a character’s experiences inform their personality, an alter’s experiences do the same. Keep in mind that alters can have different physical abilities and experiences too (i.e. different strengths, one having a mobility condition, one being blind, etc).

  4. Understand when each other will take over. Since they are multiple people, but all share one body, it’s common to fight for time out in the world. For self-expression, to be ourselves, and so on. Think about which characters are comfortable not revealing themselves, and if some feel the need to. Think about when they will take turns being up front (both accidentally and intentionally). 

  5. Don’t focus solely on alters. Because people with DID are trauma survivors, we basically all have PTSD (most often Complex PTSD). Look into those symptoms and figure out what each individual alter will have as their most prominent symptoms, which ones distress them the most, and which can they handle well. Also, describe the complexities of dissociation, amnesia, and other symptoms with DID. 

  6. Understand the alter’s role, but don’t stereotype them. (And gosh, please no murderous alters! Or if you have a violent one, have them be sympathetic and violent because they needed to in order to survive, since that’s the real story behind violent alters.) I’ll give an example of a stereotype versus reality below. 

  7. Don’t make DID too obvious to the people who know the character (presuming they’re not “out”). Although sometimes it’s obvious that a person has more than one identity, it’s often a very subtle disorder. It more often appears as mood swings (like alters who tend to feel different moods more often–though remember that each alter can feel every emotion, they don’t represent single emotions unless they are fragments, but that’s more rare and probably too hard to get into in writing). As well as appearing as memory loss. 

  8. Capture the issues people with DID face. Acceptance, stereotypes, stigma, being presumed to be dangerous, not being believed by mental health professionals, not having physical disorders taken seriously, and so on. 

  9. Pay attention to the internal relationship dynamics. Communication is key for those of us with DID, we have to get to know each other, understand each other, and support each other if we want to live harmoniously. A good exercise might be to imagine (after writing all the alters’ basic character traits) them all stuck in a room together. How would they treat each other? What relationships would they have? 

  10. Don’t forget the embarrassment of suddenly having someone comment on a private thought of yours. Alters, since we all share the same head, will sometimes chime in at really awkward moments. Even though we’re not all present at the same time, we are sometimes present at inopportune times. 

And here are some personal examples corresponding to these above points that might help get your creative juices flowing! (All what I’m willing to share, so some might be vague, and heads up for abuse mentions.)

  1. For three of us, here’s how we all sort of formed. I think I, Arien, was around first. I’m generally compassionate, trusting, and try to heal others (even those that hurt me). When I was abused too painfully, more than I could handle, Bael came into being. He’s more sexual (basically adapted to get off on being abused) and he’s masochistic. When we were then asked to do morally questionable things by our abuser, Sion stepped in. He was colder and more detached, and didn’t have the same issues with morality as the rest of us. See how some of us formed to step into a situation the others couldn’t handle, or didn’t have the skills to? (Sense8 btw, gives a really good subjective portrayal of what this feels like.)

  2. Don’t really have anything to add to this point. Though, you might want to write one alter that’s hesitant to realize they are a we. I was initially scared I’d lose my sense of self when I was admitting I wasn’t alone in this body.

  3. Some examples of our differences: Bael is very good at drawing anatomy and understanding lines and angles when drawing. I’m a softer, more curvy, artist. I’m better at coloring. Sion likes overcast, rain, and wintery weather, whereas I get depressed and moody in the winter. Bael doesn’t like Indian food (besides chicken curry) but I LOVE Indian food. I have a mild mobility disability, Bael is very rarely disabled at all (he’s pretty strong, except for when our body as a whole gets sick). Ava is afraid of water, the rest of us love it.

  4. An example of intentionally taking over: Bael wants to talk during therapy, so on our walk there, he turns on his playlist and the music helps him come forward and feel grounded. 

    An example of accidentally taking over: During past abuse, I’d be abused and it would be intensely painful, then I’d just black out (not pass out, but no longer remember anything). Bael was taking over during that time. Sometimes we accidentally switch without amnesia. Like in therapy I was once talking about Bael and then Bael was like “wait…I think I’m here now” to our therapist. 

  5. For context, I remember about 10% or less of my life. And I miss casual things too. Like my apartment is cleaned or messier and I don’t remember doing it. I’m half way to a destination and then realize that I’m halfway there (like not remembering how I got to the half way point). Recently, a friend texted to confirm we were meeting in an hour, and I had no recollection of us ever setting up a time to meet at all (despite it being in texts when I looked back and such). PTSD and other symptoms are things you can look up, I think they’d be easier to write. Also, sometimes we jump when we look in the mirror. Like we don’t recognize ourself (depending on who’s fronting) and it startles us. 

  6. Okay! Stereotype versus reality. Sion (tentatively) said I can use him. He’s what’s sometimes called a “persecutor alter,” alters who tend to take after their abuser and sometimes will hurt the system or others. If you were to write a persecutor as a typically abusive, one-dimensional person, it would be stereotyping them. But, if I were to write someone, based on Sion, I’d describe how much he struggled to accept himself because of the immoral things he was forced to do and chose to do to save himself and us. How he felt that was all he was good at. I’d describe how he thought Bael needed to be hurt when he was stressed, because that’s what Bael described wanting. I’d talk about Sion’s complex desire to protect us, yet also being afraid he’d hurt us. There’s a lot more, but that’s all he’s comfortable with me sharing. 

  7. In my own experience, I had one friend who had met a few of us alters and she kept a journal about it. But she thought maybe it was something spiritual. More commonly, I would just have confused friends (before my dx, when I didn’t have an explanation) be angry that I didn’t remember promising or telling something, accuse me of manipulating them. Whereas I literally just wasn’t the identity that had promised something or given a different opinion earlier. A friend also described me changing opinions mid-dialogue. Like “ah, I’ll totally commit to this lease, I feel great about it!” and then “there’s no way I’m going to commit. It’s a bad choice for all these reasons.” It wasn’t me doubting myself (it was multiple selves), but that’s how it looked like to others. 

  8. There is SO much stigma around DID (one reason I’m happy to type all this out! To help dismantle that). Look into movies that bug those of us living with it, slurs and microaggressions (”yeah, it was like she had multiple personalities, she was so emotional!!”). How we’re treated as monsters rather than survivors. The fear we face whenever we see a new doctor or go to the hospital and have to decide if we want to say we have DID or not. How we’re left out of conversations about mental illness, abuse, and childhood trauma.

  9. This point’s more on your character development! But, I can say, us alters argue, support each other, comment on each other’s actions, I narrate what we’re doing sometimes (lol). Also, sometimes we’ll get tired of the others being in pain. It takes a lot of energy to always, in the back of your mind, know someone is hurting. (Like our Little will sometimes cry for a day or two and we can all hear it.)

  10. Oh gosh, point ten happens so much! Like I’ll be fantasizing about something then someone will comment on the thought and I’ll be like “auhhlsiudhfliushd” *blushes* xD. It’s even worse if one us fantasizes about another alter LOL. This can also happen with other private thoughts (not so funny ones) like suicide ideation, shame, watching one alter act on an addiction, etc. Also, us alters do feel some of each other’s emotions (like we’re affected by it), although it doesn’t feel like our emotions. 

I really hope this helps you and many others write and understand DID! More questions are totally fine, and this post is okay to reblog

(Also hey if you want to pitch into my service dog fundraiser that would be awesome?? :D)

anonymous asked:

Your writings are beautiful i can just read them all day ❤ (which i did btw). If you don't mind, can i request a soulmate au where you and your soulmates share each other's pain. So Ryuji and s/o are soulmates and s/o was just having a good time when suddenly her thigh hurts so bad and it ended up being Ryuji getting his leg busted by Kamoshida? But if you're not comfortable with this its fine though c: Please continue writing! ❤❤❤

Part One  |


It’s sudden.

The searing agony comes centralised to your femur, a sharp flame that expands outward into the muscles of your thigh with a burning that makes you keel over and gasp in pain.

“What’s going on?” Your boyfriend, Akira Kurusu, keeps you steady, worries over you as your chopped gasps turn into sobs and your hands constrict tightly around your thigh, as though you can force the pain way.

It hurts.

The worst of it stretches over a span of half an hour. In the ambulance on your way to the hospital, the paramedics ask you questions.

“Where does it hurt?” Is the first, and you can’t force the strings in your throat loose enough to answer; your head is full of pain, pain, pain. The best you can do is point messily at your thigh, and it makes Akira’s face scrunch up in worry.

“What were you doing when it started?”

There’s something inside Akira that prompts him to speak up in your place. He thinks it’s the way the muscles of your stomach clench whenever you try to give yourself a voice, because every time you convulse his heart leaps to his throat.

His hands are shaking.

“We were walking across a field, and she fell to the floor and started holding onto her leg.” He’s pushing up the rims of his glasses with one hand and holding yours in the other hand. You squeeze it every time the pain ebbs back, and he squeezes back.

“Are you her soulmate?” Is the third question, and Akira shakes his head, looks a little defensive, and holds your hand tighter.

“No,” he says, “she’s never had a mark.”


“You don’t have a soulmate?” you ask, about two months into your friendship. Honestly, you’re surprised. Akira’s never been unpopular, and he’s got a bit of a track record for rejecting his fair share of marked girls. The friend who introduces him to you insists he’s always been a flirt – but it’s hard to believe when you’ve never seen him flirt with anyone (well, apart from yourself). He’s never been one to shy away from paying attention when your friends stalk their own matches on Facebook, he doesn’t have any major personality deficiencies, and he’s certainly not unattractive (not by a long-shot). Besides, you’ve always been vocal about being blank; it’s never really mattered much to you.

Apparently, he doesn’t share your sentiments, because he looks kind of broken-hearted when he shakes his head.

“No, I’ve never had one.” At that, he looks over your arms with an insecurity that makes you anxious.

“That’s such a shame,” you say. “Any girl would be lucky to have you.” Instead of bouncing the compliment back at you (like he’s been confident in doing for the past few months), he hesitates. There’s something in the way he avoids your eyes, and it’s too calculated to be shyness, but it’s too insecure to be deliberate, either.

“How about you?” He asks.

(Suddenly, it makes sense.)


“If it’s a broken femur, she might not make a full recovery,” you hear one paramedic mumble, as he pushes you into the x-ray room on a hospital bed.  ‘Broken femur? What did you do to break a femur?’ The femur is the strongest bone in the body, it doesn’t just break.

You try to speak, but it doesn’t quite even make it past the tension in your diaphragm, so they feed you with painkillers and tell you to relax.

“Take it easy,” Akira says. His fingers shake when they brush against yours. The pain eases (but only by a little.)

He stays with you when the scan is finished, rubs your hair away from your sweaty forehead and wipes you with a tissue he finds in a drawer. They’ve given you sedatives, and although you’d like to fight them off to be there for the scan results, you find you’ve ran out of strength. Eventually, you drift off, consciousness fading to a numb black, and the last thing you remember is the nurse walking in with a smile on her face that drops as soon as she sees Akira.

“Are you her boyfriend?” She asks, while you’re asleep.

He nods, still fiddling with his glasses.

“Well, the good news is, there’s nothing wrong with her.”


He looks conflicted when you wake up. Always been a romantic at heart, really, which is why you’re not surprised to see he’s been watching over you.

His clean, blank hands feel sweaty in yours. He’s got blank wrists, blank arms, and cheeks, and shoulders and legs and thighs and ears. The both of have never seen the smooth calligraphy that outlines the name of another on your bodies, but it’s not a bad thing; it’s what brings you together, after all, just the two of you against the world.

As soon as he sees your eyes open, he takes one hand out of yours and uses it to run through your hair, trailing it across your cheeks, and stopping just short of your lips.

“You’re awake,” he says. It’s equally worried and relieved, like his voice has been crumpled and put under a press.

“God, what happened?” You ask. Waking up after morphine feels like walking in a cloud, as expected. Even the muscles in your arms feel dreary and numb, like you’ve spend the day sleeping on them.

“Nothing.” He looks straight at you, tone laced with an odd conviction that’s almost completely devoid of any emotion. “You’ll be fine. Everything’s alright.”

You’re not sure why the way he says it makes it sound like it’s not alright.

“Akira?” You prompt, letting your finger trail up the underside of his arm.

He swallows a lump in his throat.


Two years ago, the two of you sit on a balcony that juts out from his parent’s room, underneath the cover of a dark sky.

“I can’t believe we’re not soulmates,” he says. “The universe must have forgotten to give us our names.” Blank hands intertwine, and even though he looks regretful as he looks over at his own skin, you think he’s happy.

You think you are, too.

With your ear pressed against his chest, you can feel his pulse quicken as he steals glances at you, pulls you further into his chest and kisses the top of your head. The chaste qualities of the kisses slowly give way to something a little more intense: to longer, more drawn-out intervals of the feeling of his lips on your skin (to your temples, jawline, and neck) or to his hands feeling more, and more, and more of you.

“Let me leave marks,” he mumbles, as he nips at your collar.

‘I want myself on you,’ he doesn’t say. ‘I want evidence.


When Akira calls the nurse over and she recounts what she told him, he seems stable on the outset. To an outsider, there’s nothing that would indicate he’s particularly shaken up, or even that he minds too much, really, but the consistency of the blankness on his face raises red flags – like he’s just trying his best not to let emotions get the better of him.

“You’ve got a soulmate,” she says. “Just in a different way.” And what does that even mean? In a different way? A soulmate is a name. You haven’t got a name.

“There’s one way to have a soulmate,” you protest, and pull Akira’s hand into your chest.

He laughs, bitterly.

“Apparently not.”


It’s like the universe’s own form of error correction, is what the nurse says. Names are the first order of linking soulmates together, but if they fail through one way or another (your mother doesn’t get enough iron before birth to leave the mark, a mutation wipes your skin clean, the soulmate isn’t born yet, and so on and so on), there’s other methods of ensuring two soulmates meet. Experiencing pain through another is particularly common in countries where the vast majority are illiterate. Professors have studied this, she says.

“So, there’s nothing wrong?”

She shakes her head, smiling.

“I imagine your soulmate is in a bit of a pickle, but they should be fine. If the pain has passed, they’re probably on morphine in a hospital.”

You don’t know what to say.

It’s a lot to happen all in one day: unspeakable pain shoots through you out of nowhere, get shipped off to a hospital in an ambulance, pass out through morphine, and wake up to the news that your whole life from now on will be changed because you’ve suddenly got a soulmate. There’s not much in terms of emotion bar confusion and emptiness, like you know you should be feeling something but aren’t quite sure what that something is.

The nurse seems to realise you need some time to swallow things down, so she makes some half-hearted excuse and leaves you with Akira, unravelling the curtains around your bed so the two of you are hidden from the other patients.

“What now?” You ask him. He must be taking things hard even if he doesn’t look it, because you know soulmates are important to him. Whenever it comes down to articulating what he feels for you, it always comes down to: ‘say my name again,’ ‘we’re made for each other,’ ‘the universe has made a mistake.’ Multiple times, he’s said that it just feels right, in the same way people say their soulmates just feel right, like the world is coming together and this is all they need to be happy.

It takes a while for him to say anything. He has a bad habit of thinking things through without telling anyone, and you can tell that right now that he’s knee-deep in deliberation.

“What do you want to do?” He asks eventually, voice monotone, face still, all blank.

“I want to stay together. I don’t care about soulmates.” You try to make your voice sound resolute, like there’s no room for argument – even if you’re not entirely sure yourself. Sure, you’ve never cared about soulmates, but are you convinced you’ll be able to say the same thing if you meet them ten years down the line? You want to say yes. Soulmates are overrated, anyway, and they don’t make you prone to not having arguments or storming out of the house and leaving. The only thing they offer is consistency and satisfaction, and well, you’ve got plenty enough of that with Akira.

“I know you don’t.” It doesn’t sound particularly happy or convinced. Quite the opposite, it’s pained, troubled, and it makes you feel like Akira’s about to do something you don’t like.

“I want you to be happy,” he says. Akira’s mother and father were seventeen and eighteen when they married, respectively. One of the most shining examples of soulmates working out perfectly, like they’re supposed to do, with a whirlwind love that just never dies down, no-matter what; every aspect of their personalities meshing like jigsaw pieces. Akira’s spend his entire life pining after that. He wants the electricity when his hands touch someone else’s, the thunder that rolls in his stomach whenever they confess their love, the better side of himself that comes out whenever they’re around, and the raging fire inside of him whenever they’re alone.

You come, and you’re all of that. You’re everything, and he loves you. You’re his soulmate.

“I’m staying with you,” you say.

He looks you in the eye.

“No, you’re not.”


You know he’s doing it for your sake when he tells you he wants to break up. But it still makes you angry. Soulmates are important to Akira, you know that, so you don’t understand why you grill him about them regardless, launching into an angry rant, asking him if he would leave you (a real person, for a concept) if another name suddenly appeared on his wrist overnight.

“Yes,” he says, and oh.

It doesn’t feel good.

When you’re home that night, you don’t do anything else but distract yourself. Your leg still hurts, ebbing pain back and forth along your thigh, so you focus on it. It’s kind of comforting, because it’s the only thing you’ve got now; Akira’s left with no plans of coming back in neither romantic or platonic sense, so you’re more or less all alone with nothing else to go off. 

How the hell does Akira even want you to find a soulmate when you don’t have a name? You can’t google him, you can’t add him on Facebook, and you sincerely doubt he has the liberty of doing either of those things if he hasn’t already. You need a way to release your anger onto something, because you’ve got nothing right now, and it’s all the fault of the fucker that decided to break his femur out of nowhere. You kick your leg against something, hard, and the hot flush of pain that comes with it feels awful, but at least he feels it too.

(Somewhere far away, a blonde boy winces and grabs hold of his shin.)

You log onto your computer, scroll through pages and pages of google results before you stumble across a forum that looks dated, like it was made back when the internet was still just starting out; the most recent post is from the 2nd of January 2013, no replies, and even that is staggered 4 years after the one before it. ‘Finding soulmates through pain’ one thread reads, and although the chance of this guy stumbling on this particular page is almost null, you post anyway, hands jumping around on the keyboard so fast your parents can hear you typing from the other side of the house. You’re not really looking for him. You just want to let him know you’re pissed.

‘Which one of you fuckers broke your femur today,’ it reads, and you’re happy with how appropriately angry it sounds, so you hit send.

You don’t get a reply for another five months, a couple of weeks after Akira gets a criminal record and his parents send him away to Yongen-Jaya to teach him a lesson.

‘Someone did the honours for me,’ it says. ‘Name’s Ryuji Sakamoto. Who are you?’

My first follow forever (wOW)!!!! cya 2017!!

It’s so crazy to think that at the start of this year the only Seventeen I knew was the number… and now, whenever I hear the number seventeen, the first thing I think of is the group of 13 boys that brightened up my 2017.

After my introduction to seventeen came my introduction to this fandom and to some really beautiful people. I’m so grateful to all of you for being so welcoming, and filling my dash with posts that are memetastic, creative, beautiful and filled with the awesomeness of 13 precious boys. Oh! Also, thanks for brightening up my dash with awesome tags as well hehheheh. I hope 2018 treats you all with the happiness and love you deserve 💕💕

So for my mutuals I thought I’d write out my first impressions of each of you or the first post I saw from you (i’m really cheesy okay). Most of them I remember, but for the few I couldn’t, I wrote down the post that is most memorable for me or what I love about you/your blog :))

Also, it isn’t in alphabetical order… eep too lazy

Keep reading

Eyes Closed - J.A.

A/N: This is inspired by Halsey’s song Eyes Closed. If you haven’t heard the song you must be living under a rock. But I really recommend listening to the song. Also, this is my first imagine ever so please bear with me.

8 months. That’s how long it’s been since the break up. You’ve been in more relationships than you can count trying to get your mind off your broken heart. You know it’s not healthy but it’s the easiest way. Flirting has always come natural to you. You know exactly what to say, what to do, you simply know the game.

You’ve always been confident in yourself and people could see that just by glancing your way. It was the thing that Jack noticed first about you, right next to the smile that never seemed to leave your face. Now that smile was long gone.

Jack loved everything about you, from the way you would throw your head back while laughing at his jokes - even when they weren’t funny - to the way you would playfully get mad at him when he distracted you from reading your favourite book. In his eyes you were perfect. And when he fell for you, he fell hard. But you were there to catch him.

Your relationship moved fast. The two of you were inseparable and maybe that’s what made you crash.

It broke you and you knew you could never love anyone the way you loved Jack. You desperately wanted to move on or at least make the pain go away but that was easier said than done. You kept seeing his face and hearing his voice everywhere you went, not only in your mind but on every TV show and radio station. The image of his eyes, his beautiful smile that you loved so much and his soft touch haunted you every minute of the day. You thought going out with different guys would make you forget about your feelings but once you closed your eyes the only thing you could see was Jack.

Now you were sitting at a table in your favourite café with some guy you didn’t even remember the name of talking about god-knows-what while you pretended to listen to him. You looked around, something you always did when you were bored, taking in all the different people and imagining what their stories could be. That’s when you noticed them. At first you thought your mind was playing a trick on you but you’d recognize those voice anywhere. The guys you once called your best friends and the boy you once considered home. You took them all in and when you realized that they were still the same goofballs they had been 8 months ago, a small smile made its way to your lips. You didn’t know you missed them this much until now. All the memories came rushing in and you couldn’t help but think back to the last conversation you have had with Jack.


“We need to talk, (Y/N).” Jack came into the kitchen of the boys’ house. The guys and him had come home for a few days to take a little break. But Jack had been acting different. It had started while he was still on tour. The calls would get less frequent, the replies would take longer and the messages would be shorter every single time. You had been wondering why he was being so distant but as soon as the words left his mouth you knew exactly where this was going.

He took a deep breath, opened his mouth but closed it again. He didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words without hurting you. Even though he was about to break up with you, he still loved you.

Jack could read you well enough to know that you had caught on. “You want to end the relationship.” you said.

It came out so emotionless, all he could do was nod. He fumbled with his hands, not making eye contact, trying to find the right words to say.

“Yeah. It’s just, it hasn’t been the same. I thought we could make it work but I guess I was wrong.”

Tears started to form in your eyes but you tried your hardest to stop yourself from crying. Jack wanted to take your hands in his but you just moved away. You could tell it hurt him but you didn’t care. All you wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible. So you left, leaving pieces of your broken heart behind.

Jack saw how much it hurt you. He wanted to tell you why, he wanted to tell you that he felt like he wasn’t enough, that you’d be better off without him, that you shouldn’t have to wait for him. But he never did. He let you walk away, taking his heart with you.


Looking at him now you couldn’t help but wonder where you went wrong. You would have given everything for him and you thought he would do the same for you. 

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t notice your date talking to you. Only after shouting your name through the whole café did he get your attention. But not only yours.

Jack looked at you and couldn’t believe his eyes. “(Y/N)?”

And with that all the emotions you had bottled up came pouring out. You still loved him.