i don't really like this but it was so difficult i'm posting it anymore

Eternal gratitude to Reeder for “Julia” (I heard it for the first time a long time before it was in the podcast, and I’ve only grown to love it more the more I listen to it), but I like to think that the song exists in canon. This isn’t something I’ve put a lot of thought into - I was just listening to the song and I thought it would be nice if it existed for these characters, too. There are a few ways this might be true.

Maybe eventually, as Magnus spends more time with his family, he tells them more about Julia. How much she would have loved all of them - how much all of them would have loved her. All of the little things she did that made him laugh, or made him fall for her again every day. She’s never there, but somehow she’s always there because Magnus is always talking about her. He tells all of their stories so many times that his whole family knows them by heart. And one day, for Candlenights or maybe even just because, Barry tells Magnus he has something for him and sits down at the piano. It’s not long before Magnus is crying, but he doesn’t notice because his attention is elsewhere. That’s her. That’s Julia, there in that song. He must have done a good job introducing her to his family, because they know her so well.

Learning to play can be difficult, but the piano is an accommodating instrument for beginners. All of the keys are laid out in front of you right from the start, all cards on the table, straightforward. In a way, that matches Magnus. It’s a stumbling start, and Barry demonstrates impressive patience as Magnus tries to master the new skill. Magnus is very good about practicing, though, and while he might not ever perform on a stage, he’s always been good with his hands. It’s nice to have something new to do with them while his thoughts are elsewhere. As time passes and his skill grows, he thinks about how much Julia would have liked to listen to him play, and the idea sticks in his head. When he’s ready, he asks Barry and Lup to listen to the song, and they note it down as he plays. It’s common to hear the music of that song streaming through the window and whispered in the streets of Raven’s Roost, in some small way filling an absence that’s been there for a long time. When Magnus isn’t there to play anymore, Lup or Barry sometimes still do; the title of the song, which only had one name before, is changed to two. 

Julia could play. Julia could play and fill the whole room with music and laughter and joy. Before - and especially after - the revolution, she would visit the tavern and play loud, excited music while everyone there sang along or danced. Everything, everyone, was more alive when Julia played. When it was just the two of them, during quiet afternoons at the shop when the work was done, Julia played a different kind of music - soft and sweet, another part of her that Magnus had the honor of seeing more than anyone else. Somehow even with the town gone, the sheet music in the little oak chest survives, and he takes it with him when he leaves. Years later, that same sheet music held delicately in his hands, he explains to Lup who wrote it. Magnus doesn’t even have to ask; Lup squeezes his hand, sits down with him at the piano, and goes over the basics. Until Magnus can play the song for himself, she plays it for him; he sits in a rocker that smells like lavender and if he closes his eyes, he can pretend that it’s years ago and another lifetime and Julia is just across the room.

(Whatever the truth is, one day there is a piano and a set of sheet music in a little house on a little island. The house is filled with music even when no one plays.)

anonymous asked:

so i really wanna start writing this nessian long fic but i'm so afraid bc there's so many talented writers in this fandom like you and i just don't know if anyone will like it or even read it idek any advice for people like me who are hesitant to start writing fic for this fandom (or any fandom really)??

Okay okay okay (I suck at advice but I will try okay okay trying:) 

So first things first if you have a thing inside your head that you want to write write it. Get it out of your head. It is doing you no good in there (well okay it kinda is because story ideas are fun to sit and imagine and that’s nice) but it’s even better putting it down on paper!!! Set the idea freeee. Seriously. If you have that itch to write give in to it. It’s a rare enough thing that it should be cherished and indulged in when it deigns to appear. In short: JUST WRITE THE THING!!!! 

The second part of that is posting the thing. Which you do not have to do. You can just write things for you, you know? In fact I think that’s the better way (and it’s Hard, dude, I know it is, because sometimes you’re just like….could ppl pls shower me with love it makes me want to keep writing (one nice comment will power my scribbling for days I know how it goes)) but these ideas are yours and you should own them and enjoy them just for you. Just because it feels good to have written this thing and put your ideas out there whether other people respond to them or not. 

Posting fic is scary af I still don’t like it (I scuttle off to bed…pretty much as soon as I’ve posted whatever it is I’m posting I GET IT DUDE) but it’s also a lot of fun? Most of the awesome people I’ve met through fandom I’ve met through fic too; it gets people talking and that’s good. This fandom is actually pretty responsive towards fic in that…I think a solid 70-80% of them actually read it/go looking for it/interact with it in some way and that’s really cool? So if this is your starting point it’s good!!! 

Also okay, I’m blatantly ripping this off from some post or other I have seen floating around this website but it’s like. Fic authors and fic readers see their fic in very different ways. Fic authors look at their fic and then they look at someone else’s fic and they do this: :( because that person’s writing is so much better than mine, their fics are so much better, I will never be as good as them I should just not even try. Fic readers look at other people’s fic and they go: :O Fic readers look at your fic and they go: :O Fic readers look at fics and are like omg a giant juicy chocolate cake and a glorious cheesecake. Different cake is still cake and all cake is good (the original post explained this so much better than me I’m just like…pointing that out in case it needed to be said) 

The point is that no fic reader in the universe reads one fic and really likes it then goes and reads another fic and likes it a little bit better and then right, well, that last one was obviously garbage. I’m not bothering with them anymore what’s the point. I have found it. This is the one. This is the ultimate fic. We have found The One And Only fic author in this fandom we are ever going to read we don’t need any others, we don’t want any other fic ever because we have this one and it is perfect and what is the point of any of the other ones? Fic readers are like omg someone has written a fic of my otp! Omg someone else has written a fic of my otp! omg they’re both amazing I’m going to read them both 16 times and drown in them. 

Fandom isn’t a competition, producing fanworks isn’t a competition either (listen I am aware this shit is difficult to actually take in okay I’M AWARE BELIEVE ME)  But I think if you love something enough that you have all these ideas for it and you want to write them you should write them. and then if you want to post them and share them with people you should do that too? 

I mean…Maybe you will post it and…maybe no-one will read it or like but….I mean atm you just don’t know? At the moment no-one can read it or like it or love it because it hasn’t been written yet?? So I can’t tell you that people will love it but I can tell you that no-one will while it’s stuck inside your head, you know? 

But, I don’t know, I suppose, if you can drag anything out of this quagmire of wiffle it’s that…If you care about something enough that you want to write it you should do that. At least try. Stick your pen on a piece of paper and see what happens. Maybe it goes nowhere and you can’t get through it. Maybe you write 10k in a night and fall in love. But just sort of hovering here in limbo all that’s going to happen is eventually that idea will fade away and maybe one day you’ll be sad that you didn’t just…try to see what might come of it? 

TL;DR: Write the thing. You have enough of a passion to want to write, don’t ignore that. Post the thing if you feel able to once you’ve written the thing. What’s the worst thing that can happen if you try?? 

anonymous asked:

Hi! Love your blog, super new to this shit. Is there a tag I can look up on your blog that explains this fake insiders trashing Zayn thing? I'm a Zayn fan (wish the other boys well but don't necessarily care about them or 1D) and new to Tumblr, and just finding out exactly how problematic some people claiming to be woke on this website are. Alternative facts exist here, like everywhere else and it's really saddening. Like isn't fandom of any sort supposed to bring you joy?

Hey nonnie. Thanks for the blog love. I didn’t dedicate a specific tag to that. It’s all in my fandom fuckery tag I think, which unfortunately, is over 2500 posts strong (damn fandom get it together).

In a nutshell, as far as I’m aware, it started on twitter and spread to tumblr. There was a fake insider that really was an insider, but was spreading alternative facts on purpose. Confused yet? Yeah, it was a mess. Basically a tiny “mistake” made by this person led to it being found out that they worked for Modest. They tweeted a relative from their fake account and of course, fans went digging and found their true identity. Their resume was still online.

Anyway, this person was using Harry and Louis as bait to draw Larries in. They’d tweet little things that turned out to be true, which gave them cred. But it was always little things. Like when Louis momentarily fucked off to Fiji while on tour…

…they posted pix of where Louis was before the pix of Louis in Fiji hit the fandom. So after reeling people in, the rumor mongering started. It wasn’t all about Zayn. They acknowledged Louis and Harry were in a relationship–they also added a heaping helping of drama. Lots of angst and lover’s spats. I assume they were trying to get people to become disillusioned with Larry. They also implied that Liam and Zayn were in an on/off non-monogamous relationship. Yep, some of those Larries who denied/ignored Ziam were told by their insider that they were hooking up. To be fair, a couple of Larries caught in this web did say on blog they thought their was “something” going on with Liam and Zayn. And that was probably because of the insider. But just a couple…

So once Fall 2014 rolled around, after over a year of grooming, the big Zayn rumors hit. In hindsight, this was staging for the coming Zayn leaving mega stunt. And because it was Larries that had been targeted from jump, it was Larries that ran with it. Remember, they had been piecemealed little inconsequential bits of truth to establish credibility. But still, given how terribly dysfunctional this fake insider portrayed Harry and Louis, they should have been suspicious. When I was told about all this, I was immediately suspicious. And I was shown screencaps of conversations that were hella confusing. But in the end, it wasn’t difficult to call bullshit. They should’ve called bullshit. Because the ultimate target of this con wasn’t even Zayn. It was Larries and their credibility. They’d guessed right about a lot of things, so that credibility needed to be impeached. And 1DHQ was successful in keeping Larries marginalized and looking “crazy”.

Because the Larries involved have still not come clean about this (some aren’t around anymore), the damage done by these fake rumors still impacts the fandom. Many people hate on Zayn based on all the on blog shade these Larries were throwing based on planted, fake rumors. Off blog, they were also aggressively pushing their inside information. So a lot of other fans do not have all the facts and don’t know they’re collateral damage in a long con. smh But fights broke out, mutuals broke up, partial receipts were released into the wild. Messy messy stuff.

P.S. Don’t ask me for details. I’m not getting back into ancient history. This is the one and only FYI.

Demi Lovato on dating and disappointment

BBC Music 

Five, four, three, two, one!

Pop star Demi Lovato is doing her best impression of Nasa’s mission control as she records an insert for a forthcoming TV show.

Standing in an alcove of BBC Broadcasting House, as staff mill around with laptops and coffee cups, she’s really giving it some welly - which is impressive considering she has literally no idea what she is counting down from, or to.

“Yeah, I don’t know what that was for,” laughs Lovato as she sidles into a seat to chat about her new album, Tell Me You Love Me.

It’s the 25-year-old’s sixth record since she began her career as a child actress on the TV show Barney and Friends. Since then, she’s starred in Camp Rock alongside the Jonas Brothers, appeared as a judge on The X Factor USA, and become a fierce advocate for anti-bullying and mental health campaigns.

Keep reading

A general approach to fandom

This is long, but please bear with me. I’m having some ups and downs lately when it comes to being in a fandom, so I sat down and thought about the reasons for it. This is the result. It’s a general approach to fandom and of course just my humble opinion.

Fandom is an incredible place. Being a fan of something and sharing your love for it with like-minded people can make you feel at home and give you warm fuzzies. It can be your happy place and give you comfort in difficult times.

But it can also hurt you and make you sad.

Why is that so? It’s because we invest into it - time and effort. Emotions. Thoughts. Creativity and ideas. A part of our own unique personality. When we are passionate about something, we give a lot for it. Some do that to a more extreme extent than others. There’s a point at which some people lose control over it and it becomes unhealthy. But apart from that there are simply many different levels of fan-life. And that’s normal and that’s how it should be. The difficulty is to respect these different levels and personalities that come together and to accept and tolerate them when being together in a fandom. It often works fine though because everyone has one thing in common - the love for the source material (whatever fandom it is).

But this only works until something happens that shakes up the ‘natural order’ a fandom had at that point, and that is almost universally new content (and as a result, the fandom growing as more people join it).

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm so sorry I don't know how to start prompts but like Oikawa isn't playing volleyball anymore for whatever reason and his eating habits aren't great so the pounds start piling on and he has a weigh in at the doctors and he gets scolded and becomes real insecure, so Iwa-chan comes to the rescue with sweets.

*I’m not thrilled with this, but I’ve been staring at it too long so I’m just posting it. Big reminder that healthcare professionals aren’t always correct. My grandmother was told by a doctor she was obese for being ten pounds over her BMI. She told the guy to eat a dick because he couldn’t tell her what the extra weight was effecting because her physical came back nearly perfect. My grandmother is savage and could still kick my ass so it’s pretty safe to say she’s in good health despite her “obesity”.* 

The biggest problem with eating away your troubles is that it tends to result in more unsettling issues later on.

Or it might just be Oikawa being unsettled by the fact the doctor he’d just visited had implied he was becoming obese.

It’s not the usual physician he sees—she was a lot more soft spoken than that guy had been—and he can still hear the echoes of disappointment in that man’s words, even after confirming that everything else during his physical had been top-notch.

Because Oikawa Tooru was considered healthy but getting fat, two things that weren’t supposed to coincide apparently.

And that fact alone makes him queasy the entire train ride home, even more so when he passes his favorite little bakery shop and has to turn down the sweet shop owner’s offer to come in and try a batch of a new recipe she’d just created. He fakes being late and telling her he’ll come down another day, but even then he’s not sure if that’s a promise he can keep.

The former setter tugs down shirt restlessly, that uneasy feeling not going away even after he enters his and his boyfriend’s shared apartment. He makes a b-line for the bathroom, even though he knows he really shouldn’t, hiking up his shirt when he gets fully in the mirror.

Oikawa has no reason to be looking at himself; he knows what’s already waiting for him to see. But he still can’t help cupping his soft belly, feeling the very noticeable squeeze he can give to it, and watching it jiggle as he lets it fall back down. He makes a noise and pulls his shirt down hard, making a swift turn out of the small bathroom with the decision that he probably shouldn’t be looking or else he’s going to throw himself into another mood.

His immediate direction is towards the kitchen before he can even think about it, simply out of habit of what he always did when he was feeling down: going into the cabinet, grabing something—usually milkbread—to snack on, and making himself feel a little better with his favorite sugary treat because nobody, except maybe grouchy Iwa-chan, could not smile while eating milkbread.

When he actually gets the little packet in hand though is when he remembers the doctor’s lecture from before and it has him gazing down at the little bread with dismay. Oikawa sets it back in the cabinet and forces himself to go and sit on the couch, least he stuff his face while remaining in the kitchen. He props his bum knee up as he sits, mostly as a preventive than from it actually hurting.

Just when he’s considering rolling over to nap just so he can skip lunch without having a rumbly tummy, his boyfriend of course has to walk in with probably the best smelling takeout they’ve had in ages.

Iwaizumi catches sight of him on the couch and gives him a soft smile, toeing off his shoes and heading over to drop the bag with food on the table which has Tooru’s mouth watering instantly.

He doesn’t reach out for it likes he wants to, just looks up at his boyfriend with confused—hopefully not betrayed—looking eyes. Hajime just gives him an easy smile and tells him softly, “I didn’t know if it would be a good knee or bad knee reports, so I figured I’d come prepared with your favorite.”

Oikawa makes a noise. Damn. Hajime was way too thoughtful.

It makes him looks at the meal even more now, especially knowing it was a good-willed gift from his boyfriend, making it that much more difficult to refuse and say he’s not hungry. His hesitance must not be obvious to Hajime as he easily sets the container of food in Tooru’s hands, passing him a pair of throwaway chop sticks, and sitting down at the table to eagerly eat his own dish.

The food under his nose smells divine and he can’t help put pop back the tabs and look over it with hungry eyes.

The minute he grips onto a bundle of noodles, that overly professional voice of the doctor he minds him, “…you could become obese.”

He drops the bite he was going to take and stares at it miserably.

“Everything okay, babe?” Hajime’s looking at him while still managing to push his own thing of noodles into his mouth.

Oikawa makes a soft noise and shrugs. “I guess I’m just not that hungry…”

“Did you eat already?”

He freezes immediately, knowing Hajime would be able to tell through a fib. “Um, no…but my stomach’s feeling a little uneasy.”

And where was the lie?

There’s a moment of silence between them and Tooru’s almost sure he’s gotten away with it, which is why he startles when Hajime sets down his chopstick with a ‘tick’, setting his to-go box down next to it.

“Somethings wrong.” He declares after a belated moment and he turns to give Tooru and inquisitive stare.

He’s giving Tooru the ball here, giving him the chance to decided where to aim it before he goes after it. That’s always what his boyfriend does, gives him the court, lets him have the first move.

Hajime’s giving him the chance to say it before he goes for the slow, patient process of trying to open him up and the score is like three hundred plus vs zero, all in Hajime’s favor…

So the former setter gives, because Hajime is going to fish it out of him anyways, and finally divulges to him using soft words  of what the doctor’s prognosis had been.

What he’s not expecting is how visibly pissed his boyfriend gets over.  

“That motherfucker—” Hajime hisses out with a bite, fist slamming on the table with a loud bang, “I should go give that dickbag a piece of my mind…!”

Those sharp eyes flicker to his and Hajime’s standing before he can even prepare himself, making a small noise when the shorter man dragged him up, making him stand so Hajime could cup his face and drag his head down so their eyes could meet.

“Don’t you dare start listening to a word of what that man told you. Not. A. Word. He said that you were healthy and that’s the only thing to care about, his opinions about your shape have no relevance. He’s probably a person who thinks you have to have the waist the size of a twig to be beautiful.”

Tooru makes a noise and opens his mouth to respond, but Hajime doesn’t seem to be done just yet, “What was it you said you weighed now? Eighty-two kilograms right? That’s ten kilograms, Tooru. In one year. That’s not much okay, I don’t think my health book even considers that overweight technically. But who gives a shit if it does Tooru! You’re healthy and that’s what matters!”

He pushes their foreheads together and wraps his arms around the taller man’s waist, resting his hands just at the small of his back. “Doctor’s aren’t always right, babe. They have warped visions of beauty just like all of us do. Your primary doctor hasn’t said a word about your weight, so don’t let some new asshole try to tell you his opinion just because he has a degree. Hell, you don’t even have to see that guy again, wasn’t he just a fill-in for your other doctor while she was away?”

Tooru murmurs out a soft, “yes” and Hajime moves his hands to his hips, pulling his head back and looking at Tooru firmly. “No more of this, okay? Especially if you’re trying to skip meals. If you want to lose weight that’s fine, I’d be happy to help, but we’re not going to do it by starving you. You aren’t going to torture yourself with hunger. I get that you’re feeling a little self-conscious right now and I want to help with that. If you want to start diet plan, I’ll even make you up one tomorrow. You can decide what you want to do, but for now just come sit down and eat your favorite noodles with me. Let’s celebrate that you are in great health and that your knee is getting better again.”

Oikawa lets himself be put on the couch again, Hajime eagerly joining him after fetching his own carton of noodles and chopsticks, scooting close to him so that their thighs touched and Tooru could lean into him.

“…thank you Hajime.” Comes the soft response after several moments of quiet slurping and Hajime isn’t dumb enough to think it’s the food his boyfriend is thanking him for.

“I love you, Tooru.” He tells him firmly, smiling at Tooru’s retuning ‘I love you too.’

“We’ll go to Kita-san’s bakery after this, she told me to bring you after you got done with your ‘important business’.” Tooru nudges him for his teasing and Hajime laughs, smiling even more when his boyfriend simply makes a happy sound at the prospect of getting sweets.  

anonymous asked:

Hey! I don't really know whether I should write in English or in my native language. I guess I prefer my native language more because my vocabulary grammar in English isn't that great and I know I don't write as well in English as in my native language. But my native language doesn't have so much readers and that makes me feel less motivated to write anything because no one won't really read my stories and it feels like I'm not doing anything worthwhile.

I only speak one language, so I can’t really offer you the best opinion out there. This would be a very personal choice. The more you write in English, the better you’ll inevitably become through practice alone but that will, of course, take time. I think what’s important to know is that writing in English won’t suddenly make people necessarily read your stories anymore than writing in your native language. It’s very difficult for any work to be noticed simply because the surplus that’s out there because so many people are putting out content. And that’s okay. The feedback and the notes and comments you receive don’t reflect the value of your work or skill. I think that’s a very important thing for a writer to learn. I write for myself, and don’t base my skills on interaction. Hell, I keep most of my work private so I keep myself from fishing for response. It’s my personal philosophy that an artist should first and foremost create for themselves, otherwise they’re susceptible to devaluing their skill. I know far too many artists who stew in negative emotions or quit based on follower count and post interaction. And that’s crazy to me. There comes a point where you have to say screw it and not take too much stake in what other people think of your work. Plus, I find it makes the victories even sweeter.

(I know this doesn’t directly point you any way, but I hope what I’ve put here can help you decide one way or another!)

anonymous asked:

I uh, hope this isn't an annoying question or a bad time;; I was wondering, do you have any advice for someone who hates their art? Like. Has become such a harsh self critic that they've started feeling physical shame at even thinking of posting or making art for friends as a gift? It's gotten so bad that I don't even want to draw anymore. I hope I'm not being a bother, I'm sorry if I am

no bro im really proud you opened up, im not bothered at all. i can try to offer some advice, but you might not like it bc its. really hard.

your problem you say is that you hate your art and are embarrassed showing it to others. i can suggest that you continue to keep your art to yourself to spare yourself the grief this is causing you, however whether or not you do or dont, it is important that you take this time to practice issues you think you have, bc id never want you to stop drawing. if you think your proportions are off, spend some time really learning and applying. there are lots of guides online as well as books you can purchase to study the human form, or any other topics you might be having trouble with.

but when i say practice, i really do mean practice. if you want to build your skill to a level where you are comfortable, you need to learn the foundations of drawing. composition, value, anatomy, line weight, etc are all important, however its a lot to jump into.

take a close look at your art. shove away the self hatred for one moment and take a breath. look at your art like you would if it was someone else. what is the first thing that you would say is wrong with your art? and dont say “because its sucks” address the issue. you want help, you came for advice to get out of this mindset. you have to be willing to look at your art objectively and without bias, and not blame yourself for failing or screwing up. youre learning, its ok. no one is perfect at art, we all have our bad days, we all hate aspects of our art. its just what artist do.

it is not the end of the world because you find mistakes in your art. heck, i regret and hate a lot of my art bc im a nitpicky person and i find mistakes all the time, sometimes to the point i wont even look at art i was proud of ten minutes ago because im so ashamed and upset by it, but its critical you dont let that stop you from continuing your art. drawing can be a really fun hobby, if you let it be a fun outlet of creative energy and not turn it into a contest. give yourself a break, its okay to suck. we all have to start somewhere.

i cant give you a cure all, learning how to draw is a very difficult and time consuming activity. it can take years and lots of mental energy and it sucks when you arent in a place you think you should be. but please, let yourself make mistakes. evaluate your art with a level head, and apply those mistakes into your next piece. every failure is a learning opportunity.

if you ever need a nonjudgmental eye and some help with particular things concerning your drawings and how to apply techniques or help identifying issues or where to look for guides, id love to look at your art and help you, if you were comfortable with it that is. i hope you get to the point you can be confident in your art and proudly show your friends the things you made for them and yourself with your own hands, brain, and heart.

I know there’s a ton of pressure on women to be cheerful and whatnot, but I am so done with the glorification of negativity and cold bitterness. I’ve been cold, I’ve been bitter, and I’ve been negative. I’ve been ✨  misunderstood ✨ , and I’ve given in to the glorification as a means of self-preservation. And I’ve been all of those things on a regular basis, for years. But what I’ve realized since getting out of such behavior patterns and attitudes is that clinging to those things for strength was nothing more than a glorification of unhealthiness. I wasn’t overcoming stereotypes – I was deeply depressed (and often blind to the fact). Yes, we live in a difficult and deeply unjust and miserable world. Yes, there are tons of reasons to be angry. We NEED to be angry at the state of the world and we need to act and push others to act. But being /constantly/ angry is tiring and being constantly negative is immature. Yes everyone functions differently, and I /understand/, but I am so done. Being around dark things drags me down, and I am done. Be angry, act, but try to make things better. Strength is trying to rise above the negativity of the world. Strength is fighting to be better by being kind. Overcoming sexist stereotypes is sometimes not being afraid to be warm and soft and “feminine” if that’s what you want to be. I’m done with the rest of it. I’ve been dark and cynical and frigid and ✨  strong ✨  but all it did was give power to the things that were actually dragging me down and feeding the shiny darkness. I’ve given a decade of my life to it, and I’m done. 

anonymous asked:

in your last post you said you had a theory about why Giorno keeps that picture and why Giorno loves Dio, or at least the idea of Dio that he has. i'd be very interested to hear what that theory was!

Well, Giorno is an abused child. Neglected by his mother and beaten and later on feared by his step-father, that much we know. Even the man who saved Giorno from all that wasn’t physically in his life. The Gangster was more of a backstage figure, taking care of Giorno from a distance. For most of his life, Giorno was a lonely child. A sad child.

It’s really not that difficult to pretend that the person you don’t know anything about would fill the void in your life. All Giorno knows about Dio is what he looks like - so when he was scared and alone at night, it would have been easy for him to think “if my father was here, he would hold my hand” “he wouldn’t leave me alone” “he wouldn’t beat me” He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t, he would, he would…

I don’t think it’s a stretch to imagine that as a child, Giorno sort of… merged together the figure of the gangster and this fantasy version he had of Dio. Dio is not physically there with him either, but he’d probably be like that kind gangster too, right? He’d look after Giorno too, except it would be better because he would be with him. Dio would love Giorno.

When you grow up going through what Giorno went through, with only a picture to remember someone by, it’s easy to think up a supportive personality that fills all the holes in your life. It’s a coping mechanism.

And you know? Even in the events that Giorno and Jotaro met, and Jotaro actually popped his bubble and told him what sort of person Dio really was, I don’t think Giorno would completely accept that. Of course, he wouldn’t agree with Dio’s methods, he condemns his savagery, but he would still find admirable things in him. Things like his drive, his ambition, his quiet, terrifying confidence and his love of books. Dio’s charisma is a powerful thing even in death. And if he was so horrible, then why didn’t he kill his mother? Why didn’t he kill Giorno? Did he have plans for him? Was he going to pick him up in the future? Was Giorno different? Maybe he was. Maybe Dio would have chosen him.

And it’s very easy to speak in the name of those who aren’t here anymore.

anonymous asked:

Hey Vesper! I have a question. I've noticed that within the nonbinary and larger trans and queer and so forth communities, some nonbinary genders seem to get more recognition than others. Some- especially maverique as I've noticed- are hardly known of by many other nonbinary and/or trans people, while others such are gaining recognition in trans, nb, and other circles much more quickly in comparison. Why do you think some nb genders are becoming more well known than other nb genders?

hi anon,

this is a really tough question. not just because of how subjective it is (i mean, what even counts as ‘recognition’, let alone what counts as ‘more’ or ‘more quickly’), but also because there are an infinite number of factors involved in why any non-binary gender gets any amount of recognition at all.

imho, some non-binary genders are more commonly recognized at least in part because of the comparatively long history of people identifying or describing themselves as such. correct me if i’m wrong, but i think the most notable example of this is genderqueer, but even agender and genderfluid (or rather, the concept of gender fluidity) have arguably stood the test of time longer than most other non-binary identities in English.* honestly, i feel like it’s unfair to compare general recognition of a gender like maverique to genderqueer, for example, for that reason.

but perhaps that’s not even what you’re referring to.

if you’re comparing the recognition of equally (comparatively) newly coined words / identities, i still hesitate to compare their recognition at all because honestly, all recognition of non-binary genders in general is abysmal imho… also i’d hate for it to seem like i’m pitching one gender against another when all of us are struggling so much for recognition.

having said that….

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pinetreevillain  asked:

If by prompts you mean wing!au prompts....... Jack finally gets around to telling everyone about his wings and is super nervous but everyone is like "yah okay bro" and Lena or someone thinks they're really pretty and Jack gets all flustered or confused. Bonus points if someone suggests they all go flying together and when they get around to doing it Jack is still on the ground and after Gabe prods him enough he eventually goes "I don't know how"

By prompt, I mean anything XD. I like trying my hands at everything, but here goes:

Honestly, with all the shit that has happened in his life, one would think Jack Morrison can’t get surprised anymore.

His comrades have proven otherwise. They took those words and shoved them right back into his mouth.

When Jack agreed to Gabriel’s suggestion, he was nervous as hell. Jack told himself that he should be way too old to care about this shit, especially when it comes to the people who he can trust staring at the barrels of their guns. But old habits can be difficult to shake. Old fears, even harder. For a black bird like him, to achieve anything he has should have been a fucking miracle already. To find a mate that loves him to the very tip of his feather..even more so.

It is natural for Jack to be afraid of what his friends would think. That they might just turn their backs on him after all…

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anonymous asked:

How do you create oc's? I mean... well, that. I don't know how to draw and I been trying but I just can't, but I love to write and I think that I'm good at that but just "stories", you know? Everithing except making a character. Characters are EVIL :'( It's difficult to me create people and I don't get well what is an oc so... I think it's similar to an oc? I'm very sorry, my English sucks and I'm don't speaking well and I don't know if you are understanding me. Sorry. Please help?

it’s fine, don’t worry about it:)

oc stands for original character, which means someone you create by yourself. aaand, well, I don’t think it necessarily HAS to be a human? 

I’m not sure I’m going to be any help here, because my situation is kind of the opposite, like I’m fine with designs and drawing characters, but when it comes to creating a full-developed story I get completely lost. I’m able to figure out some seperate pieces for the story, but never to connect them.

I always come up with designs first, and then the facts and things about someone I just drew kind of just come to my mind.

Also I know there are quite a few of those ‘character-making’ help-outs here on tumblr, I’m sorry I won’t be able to find enough right now, I don’t have too many links, but here are a few:

character-inspiration blog, post-apocalyptic character generator. I’ve seen more around, but I won’t be able to find this stuff anymore><

But the first blog is really helpful, just check it out properly if you need help:)

anonymous asked:

I think seeing as John violently denies being gay, we can assume he's not or doesn't want to come out. Now he says he loves mary and sherlock the most in the world; so, hes in love with mary, and loves sherlock. One is romantic (mary) the other is brotherly/platonic (sherlock)

Good one. This ask refers to this post I made yesterday. I will edit it later with the replies to questions (though this is the only one I got so far). 

Now to the answer: 

Yes, John denies being gay vehemently. That in itself can have several reasons. 

  • he is not attracted to men at all, including Sherlock. 
    There is a ton of subtext that refutes this. John may say this, yet his body language betrays him on so many occasions. It is easiest to observe during the drunken knee-grope scene where his entire body language is inviting (both he and Sherlock are leaning in toward the other, John sits with his legs spread, that goofy, flirty grin on his features etc.) 
    This is a very big subject in itself that could be filled with pages worth of examples, but let’s keep it at that.
  • He isn’t gay, but he might be bi (-curious/flexible). 
    John never says “I’m straight”, he always just denies being gay which easily leaves that option. Whether he has actually acted on his bisexual tendencies before remains a question. However, seeing how his and Sholto’s relationship was portrayed (and how Mary but more specifically Sherlock read it, i.e. with jealousy) there very well might be something there. Further evidence is the “my husband is three people” line that many people have read as referring to Mary, Sherlock and Sholto. Admittedly, this doesn’t need to be the case but it’s a possible reading. 
  • John is so vehement in his denial because his attraction to Sherlock confuses him. 
    In ASiB he has the same conversation with Irene. Again, he says he’s not gay, to which Irene responds “But I am. Look at us both [being in love with Sherlock].” He doesn’t deny it there. He doesn’t tell her she’s interpreting things wrong, doesn’t correct her again. In fact, there is a moment of realisation in which he accepts her explanation. He’s not gay. He’s never felt attracted to men before. He loves women. And yet… Look at him and how he’s completely smitten, how everything in his life revolves around Sherlock. It shouldn’t make sense, but it simply is the way it is. 
    Yet, upon realising this, Jon decides not to act on it. Two possible reasons for this: a) he thinks Sherlock wouldn’t be interested. The first time ever he’s seen Sherlock display a sort of interest in someone is with Irene. So John assumes that, IF Sherlock were to pursue anything romantic or sexual with anyone, it would be Irene. b) He can’t come to terms with it yet. There are too many uncertain factors: Is Sherlock even into that sort of thing? Would he be into that sort of thing? Would it destroy the friendship? And what about women and him loving them, having sex with them? He’s nearly forty and suddenly his world gets turned upside down. All just because of that one man who is brilliant and enthralling but also a bit dangerous and unreliable. And not interested anyway. And John’s just confused and mixing up friendship with more and should better get a grip on himself and forget the whole thing.
    ‘Yeah, no, I’m not gay. Thank you very much. Now stop assuming it all the time because it confuses the hell out of me, and I don’t want to be confused because there’s no point.’

Now on to the second part of your question (the first half).

Most of us probably squeed like crazy when John actually. told. Sherlock. he. LOVES. him. We never really expected something like this to happen, not explicitly, but it did. And it seemed like it wasn’t such a difficult thing for John to say at the time. Because it’s all just platonic, you say. 

Wrong. I say. If we take the latter of the above readings of John’s attitude towards his own sexuality, then he now doesn’t have a reason to doubt himself anymore. He’s with a woman, he’s about to marry that woman. Everything is great and as it should be, and suddenly something that would never ever have happened under any other circumstances does: John feels safe enough to tell Sherlock how he feels because now 'nobody will talk’ and nobody will assume anything. Because he’s with a woman! 

He hugs Sherlock, teary-eyed, in front of a couple of dozen people, because his wife is sitting right next to them. That’s proof enough that this is no homo. Everything is safe and fine. 

Think about it. Would John have told Sherlock the same thing if he hadn’t been engaged at the time? Big no, imho. But if it’s all just platonic, then why does he need that 'safety’ of a heterosexual relationship to shield him from any other allegations? 

Also note how John’s denial gets stronger and stronger from every time he utters the words “I’m not gay.” At first, at Angelo’s, he’s rather amused by it and states it calmly. Later, he sounds a bit more annoyed that it keeps coming up, and in season 3 he basically yells at Mrs Hudson “HOW MANY TIMES… […] I’M NOT GAY!”

Would a man who is perfectly confident with his sexuality (and most certainly not a homophobe) be this violent in his denial, as you have put it? Would he, rather than just roll his eyes and chuckle and respond calmly, get so angry? The only reason I can think of that makes any sense is that his vehemence springs from a deep, (subconscious or not) frustration and regret that, no, they never were a couple while, yes, damnit, he would have liked that. But it NEVER happened. So STFU. 

Whether John is in love with Mary is another complex question. Simply put: yes, he is. But being in love with one person doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be in love with another one as well. On different levels. 

The interesting bit here is that Mrs Hudson, who has served as a foreshadowing “prophet” several times, tells John about her and her late husband’s relationship as something purely physical. They couldn’t keep their hands of each other. But later, she found out what a bad person he was, a criminal whose death she didn’t mourn.

Now, we don’t see any evidence on John and Mary being very physical (another complex topic in itself; there are two people who are a very affectionate and adorable couple in real life, yet there was hardly any chemistry between them, no affectionate, romantic moments; a much more buddy-like atmosphere between them than anything else while, between John and Sherlock, we see lingering, yearning gazes and sizzling chemistry all the time). However, we later find out that Mary, too, is a criminal and not who John thought her to be. 

As soon as John learns this, he immediately switches sides again, literally stands/the sits on Sherlock’s as they confront her like a client. Had Sherlock not gone out of his way to convince John he should accept this fact about Mary and stay with her, I’m convinced John wouldn’t have taken her back. (What Sherlock’s motivation here was: altruism or a long game remains to be seen; there are indicators for both options). 

We also know that John never pursued any steady relationships with any woman after the conversation with Irene (and after Jeanette). As if a part of him had accepted Irene’s explanation then, and that was that. The only time he started something new was when, to his knowledge, Sherlock was dead. And it took him one and a half years until he finally had been over Sherlock’s death enough to open up to someone new. 

What is interesting here is how the moustache can be interpreted. We all know that it is a common phenomenon that, once your life changes drastically or you want to start a new chapter, you often go and change your looks. John tried the moustache as something new about the time he got together with Mary (we know from her that it was six months of bristly kisses, but in Many Happy Returns he didn’t have the moustache yet, which can’t have been much longer before Sherlock’s return because Anderson points out Sherlock is getting closer and coming back). 

The moustache also ages him, makes him look more 'boring’, so it can be seen as a symbol for an ordinary, boring, age-appropriate life. As soon as Sherlock comes back, though, he gets rid of it. For Sherlock (as I’ve pointed out before, he interestingly uses the same wording as Molly when she gets rid of her lipstick to impress Sherlock) And he becomes the John Watson from before, again. 

Anyway… woah, this got a lot longer than expected and I feel I haven’t even covered half of it. 

TL;DR: Reading John’s vehement denial of being gay as nothing but what it textually is is unlikely for many reasons, most of all that he wouldn’t have anything to be angry about if there was nothing to it, since John isn’t a homophobe and such assumptions shouldn’t bother him. He tells Sherlock he loves him because it’s safe, and he only fell in love with Mary because Sherlock was dead. 

anonymous asked:

(1) Sorry to go all dumb and personal on you (actually I'm not that sorry), but I recently found your blog and I don't feel like other non-scientists will understand. I am studying biochemistry with plans to go to grad school for ocean science to do research in biogeochemistry. Lately I've been facing this crushing sense of incompetency. It is likely a result of personal and medical problems, but going to school and learning crazy stuff like microbiology and genetics and metabolism used to be

pleasurable for me. These days it is a complete drag to get out of bed, and the awe and wondrousness of the material I’m learning is shrouded in hard work and frustration. I don’t want to lean on the excuse “but this is HARD, you shouldn’t feel incompetent just because you’re struggling with something that is expected to be difficult”. I’m an adult, I can handle the truth: I’m just not that bright. The really important thing is finding my enthusiasm again. I used to have this vision of being a travelling scientist, going all around the world, scuba diving, and studying nutrient cycling and toxicity and promoting ocean conservation. Now when I picture myself in the future, I just see a sad, old woman struggling to find happiness, working a deadbeat job and doing stuff that I don’t feel any excitement for.

I know how you feel. I struggle to find motivation to work every single day. Some of the things I have to study are genuinely beyond my ability - today is a great example: I had a statistics lecture, followed by a seminar on global change. The stats lecture consisted of an hour and a half of a mathematician teaching maths the way you would teach it to a group of mathematicians, and not the way it should be taught to biologists, concentrating on proofs instead of just teaching us what we need to know. The seminar was on eutrophication - a lot of technical experiments on the affects of different chemicals on the biotic composition of lakes. I struggle with both of these subjects, and I’ll be honest: I was so un-motivated for the latter that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do in preparation for that class, and statistics makes me feel stupid, and I hate being made to feel stupid. All round a pretty bad day, that was only compensated for by my finding a Zootoca vivipara on a tree just outside my university buildings :)

This whole ‘I’m not that bright’ thing is bollocks. Just because you struggle with these subjects does not make you dim. You might be a whiz at other subjects, or when courses are taught in different ways. It is all circumstantial. Don’t expect to be the best in your class - 99% of all students are not the best in their classes by the very nature of that accolade. You are allowed to struggle with things. Sticking with them when they are hard for you deserves respect - it is a lot braver to stick with something you find difficult than to float along.

All I can say is that you have to find that thing that gets you out of bed. If you are trying to do things that are so technical and complex that you cannot wrap your head around them then you have two options in my eyes: either you need to get private tutelage/find a way to teach it to yourself so you can keep up, or you need to change subjects.

It is not a pleasant experience to be stuck in a field that you find difficult to the point where it is unrewarding. If you don’t feel a spark for what you are doing anymore, then get. out. It’s as simple as that. Nobody wants an unmotivated employee, and you deserve happiness in your employment.

Remember that just because one dream is dead, doesn’t mean you can’t find a new one. Maybe the first one wasn’t realistic. Maybe it was. What matters is that you have something to strive for, because that creates a drive. A thing to work toward; something to get you out of bed. Just don’t expect to find it immediately, and don’t expect it to be smooth sailing the whole way. It won’t be.

But also remember to give yourself time. Time to adjust. Time to find your passion and enthusiasm. I have had a series of rather bad experiences in the last five years that have taken a toll in every part of my life, and every time it results in a complete loss of enthusiasm for anything but death by cake. But in time, it all gets better. I find myself again. I find what makes me get out of bed in the morning. The thing I live for. Give yourself a chance. Try out new things to see if you can find a new passion.

Don’t give up and don’t lose hope. You will find a way. Seek the spark, and when you find it, use it to build a fire.

anonymous asked:

Hi I read that post you wrote about being positive about Rumbelle. I'm having a very hard time right now. I worry about whats going to happen to them. I worry that when Belle finds out about Rumple being the DO again. What then? Will they ever truly be happy? I am both very excited and scared of the second half of the season because I don't know whats going to happen. I really need some positivity. Can you help me? Thanks.

Oh, friend. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I’ll do what I can to put you at ease.

Rumple taking back the Darkness was a confusing move, to be sure. He’s the Dark One–again–and that’s something a lot of us thought would never happen. That decision made a lot of people angry. All that self-discovery wasted? All those heroic triumphs flushed away? All that faith Belle and Henry and others were putting in him misplaced? No, not in my opinion. With or without the Darkness, Rumple has always been worthy of love. He doesn’t need power to be cared for and accepted. He just needs to be himself. That’s a reality he is still struggling with, but not as much as he used to.

Rumple’s decision appears to be going against the grain of character development, but it’s not. Rumple is a take-charge kind of man who owns his mistakes and decisions: the Dark One has always been Rumple’s to deal with and defeat. It’s his personal demon to conquer. Since Belle has been the one person to love him through that and in spite of that, it’s become her battle as well. She’s the woman who sees behind the mask of the monster in a way that no one has ever been able to, and that makes their relationship the keystone in each other’s character development. For these reasons and more, I’m actually excited for Rumple to be the Dark One again. When the Apprentice siphoned the Dark One from him, it saved Rumple’s life, but it wasn’t his choice. Merlin said there is one person who can handle the power of the Dark One and use it for good. It’s my belief that Rumple is that person. Emma and Hook and Nimue and countless others have proven that the Darkness is irrevocably destructive to them and those they love. But Rumple–he battled that madness for over 200 years and met and married his True Love while under its influence! That takes a very special man and a very special woman to be possible. To me, it’s no accident that Rumple has been given this second chance to have the power of all the Dark Ones that ever lived inside of him. Powerwise, he’s now pretty much unstoppable. So the question becomes, How will he use that? What has he learned? Does he have enough faith in himself to be honest? Let’s take a look at what the showrunners say:

“He has learned something,” Kitsis said when asked whether Rumple might have learned from previous mistakes and do something as simple as tell Belle the truth about being the Dark One again. “I think that if fans are like, ‘Oh, are they going to do the same thing again?’ – absolutely not. He’s learned a lot.” (x)

Without disrespect to your concerns, I am not worried about Belle finding out that Rumple is the Dark One again. Why? Because that’s who he was when she fell in love with him. She loved him even when he was rotting on the inside and out. She loved him in spite of the rumors. She loved him in spite of what she saw. She loved him in spite of the evil acts he committed. She loved him because she knew, and still knows, who he really is. Belle has never asked Rumple not to be the Dark One. What she does want is honesty and inclusion and belonging; I think she’d be content for him to be the Dark One forever, as long as he will share his heart with her. Yes, that’s difficult for him to do under the weight of such a powerful curse, but it’s something Belle and Rumple can work through together. But Belle has to be accepting, too. From the way she turned the car around and gave up the chance to see the world and escape Storybrooke, I think she’s ready. She said it herself: “I don’t need to see the world to know what I want anymore. What I want is to be with you.”

None of us knows for sure what’s going to happen on OUAT or in life, but let me encourage you with this: Don’t get so focused on the mess that you miss the miracles. We’ve seen miraculous character development for Rumple and Belle in 5A, both as individuals and as a couple. A few examples:

1. Despite his radical actions in 4A/B, Belle has not abandoned Rumple. She made it her mission in 5A to save him. And Rumple got another chance at life.
2. Without relying on magic and power, Rumple and Belle worked together and saved each other from Meribear, then stayed in the shop together and protected each other.
3. Rumple pulled Excaliber from the stone, went on to defeat Dark Hook, and walked away.
4. Say what you will about the scene at the well, but Rumple and Belle both put their hearts on the line and offered honesty, no matter how hard it was.
5. In as unselfish a move as we’ve seen since his sacrifice in 3A, Rumple sent Belle away so she wouldn’t be marked to be sent to the Underworld.
6. Giving up her opportunity to see the world in an echo of Skin Deep, Belle returned to Rumple.
7. Rumbelle re-consummated their relationship–a major milestone considering all they’ve been through.

Originally posted by kikka1302

We have a new arc starting soon, and I’m confident that this character development is going to continue. Yes, problems are heading Rumbelle’s way, but this is a story, and stories don’t exist without conflict. I absolutely believe that this extraordinary couple is going to come through this and be happy–they’re True Love, the most powerful magic in the world. True Love. That’s a miracle right there, Anon.

Let’s not miss the miracles.




Ahhh I don’t even really know what this is. I’ve had it sitting on my computer for about two weeks now. As a kind of ‘hmm for what reasons could Regina be letting her hair grow out’ thing. And I was going to edit it and try and make it better and less rambly (particularly at the end) but I haven’t posted any fic in a while so… here we are. Me posting this.

It occurs to her one day when she’s in the shower. All of a sudden she’s out of shampoo, which seems… strange… because she only needs to buy new shampoo once every three months. Yet seven weeks into this bottle and it’s empty.

She can feel her hair, screaming to be washed, hitting the top of her shoulder blades. There was a time where it barely covered her neck and she made sure she kept it that way.

For a long time her short hair had helped her separate herself from who she was at her lowest… at her absolute worst.

And yet now… here it was, growing, and quite quickly too. She’d started tying it back on some days.

It was only then, in that moment her thoughts drifted back to their year back in the enchanted forest. To a moment she’d all but forgotten about.

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anonymous asked:

Out of curiosity, why don't you rec any fics from other fan fiction websites? Like fanfiction(.)net for instance. All the fic rec accounts I follow only link to AO3. Is it a tumblr thing (I'm new to tumblr) where the two are connected somehow (kinda like how vine and Twitter are connected) or is it a quality thing where AO3 has the best fics of any fan fic sites so no one bothers to check other websites?

Hi there curious anon! Tumblr and AO3 aren’t connected per se, but they are sites that certain fandoms grew up around the same time.

I can’t remember where that study is right now, but someone made a post about fanfiction in general, and depending on what fandom you’re in, there are different mediums that would be the best way to showcase your work because that’s where all the fans were (whether it was LJ, Dreamwidth, ff.net, AO3, other sites, etc.) 

I haven’t read anything on fanfiction.net in a long, long time because the tagging system makes it really difficult to search for fics and discerning quality can be difficult.

Fanfiction.net has been around since 1998, and some fun facts— in 2002 there was a crackdown on NC-17 rated fics, and fics were removed. Adultfanfiction.net was created, and then at the time m/m pairings were often labeled like this: ~*~SLASH, DON’T LIKE, DON’T FLAME!!!111 XD~*~  There’s a nice history post here for anyone who wants to learn about this, as well as a cool history about ff.net here.

At this time, finding fics to read was somewhat of a nightmare. Authors either had their own webpages where they archived their own fics that you might happen upon by chance or if someone linked you to it, and there were Yahoo Groups! and livejournals and locked friendlists and … yeah, finding fics to read was …whew. I was but a wee sprout and I’m still grateful for getting my start on ff.net and writing there, but I don’t plan to post anything there anymore. 

AO3 has been around since 2008, and the easy search functions, tags, clear warnings, and the interface make it my primary place to look for fics to read.

I don’t think that AO3 necessarily has the “best” fics of any site, but it hosts the most fics in the fandoms I’m interested in reading/ reccing fics for. I have included fics hosted on LJ or other sites and also often on an author’s personal tumblr blog, but most of the fics I’ve recced are on AO3, because most of the fics I’ve recced are also Teen Wolf fics, because AO3 happens to be where the fandom is.