i don't really feel like posting it

Well now I feel bad about making that post, I’m sorry guys. It’s just when people don’t read my BYF or ignore it I get annoyed as well as paranoid from seeing the URLs

  • Isak: Making my way downtown walking fast
  • Emma: Oh hey, Isak!
  • Isak: Fucking sprinting
why b.a.p deserves love, support & respect

*note: english is not my first language so i’m probably going to make a lot of mistakes + this is going to be a mess sorry*

(first of all i’m really sorry if this is going to bring back bad and depressing memories to my fellow BABYz)

I’m mainly doing this for those who do not stan b.a.p and don’t know what happened with TS in 2014. I feel like everyone needs to know it at least.

I want to do this to spread awareness and i want people to realize and never forget what b.a.p has gone through because of TS. I really want more people to support them in the future because they are extremely talented and deserve so much better and i hope that by understanding all that they’ve been through, everyone can gain a better appreciation for them.

anyways let’s get started!

Daehyun’s vocal teacher exposing TS:

(he literally talked about all the awful things TS did to the members and we should never forget this)

- His tweets:

‘’I didn’t say a word to not cause damage to the team, but now I have to speak up. B.A.P received an official break for the first time this year. Before that, all they did was get 1 or 2 days about 2 times when they were let out of the agency by the head of department and manager. What is really a shame about that official break itself is that when it was all about to fall apart with a clash with the parents this year, the agency stopped taking proper care of B.A.P to the point that one can only think that the agency was trying to get them to slip up so that it would be advantageous to them if a lawsuit were to occur and waiting for them to get involved in a mishap that would be a violation of the kids’ contract by canceling their schedules and quickly grabbing [schedules] again… The same people who kept a close eye on them even when they were going to the convenience store in front of the agency headquarters sure have gotten nicer [sarcasm].

Even if they contact [others] through KakaoTalk or FaceTime on their iPads, just in case they might get caught during an inspection [of their devices], they would always delete their entries. They are kids who’ve memorized their friends, teachers, and parents’ numbers.

The agency didn’t allow them to meet up with their parents at first, but later when they were in a meeting with the CEO, the CEO cursed out and yelled. But isn’t it only natural that the parents, who trusted the CEO and put their kids under his care, would be worried if the CEO is acting like that to their kids who they can’t see often?

For 3 years, the agency took away their cellphones to sever ties with the outside world. Even when they came to their hometowns for a fan meeting, they weren’t allowed to see their parents for more than 10 minutes even when it was obvious that they didn’t have any other schedules. But still, they wouldn’t allow them to see their parents who came from far away. And without not even one official break, they lived under the manager’s control.

The agency pressured Daehyun, who went to a hospital to receive treatment due to physical and mental exhaustion, to carry out his schedule.

Here is an exemple of when daehyun was forced to perform even though he was supposed to be in a hospital:

this was one of their last performances before filling a lawsuit againt TS (i dare you to watch it without feeling concerned and worried about them)  

Himchan was so sick that he couldn’t even attend and perform, all of them were exhausted, daehyun looked like he was going to faint, you can see the anger and frustration in yongguk’s eyes, they did their best to cover it up so that we wouldn’t notice… but everything seemed off… this is just an evidence and a proof of ts’ mistreatments.

[Daehyun] told me and his parents that the manager would coerce him, saying that if he runs away to his parents, they’ll file a damage suit. I read that the parents covered the hospital fees in an article. Not only did the parents cover the hospital fees, but since they don’t have an income, all of the expenses involving their personal things from their trainee period up until now were covered by the parents’ [credit] cards. Even when the parents said let’s talk to the agency multiple times, the members said to trust [the agency] and that they only need to work hard in doing music and stopped their parents, never complaining once and consistently carrying out their activities.“

"I actually wish that this spreads so that many people may know. I am determined to fight for and alongside Daehyun,” “I can’t get in contact with the members currently, but I showed this to their parents first and posted it after receiving their permission”

AM 4:44 : (you can check it here)

Yongguk released this song on april 2015, he made this song to show how he was feelingduring that time.  The lyrics are so powerful, deep, emotional…

please support b.a.p… you really won’t regret it.


The power in my hand was gained for her sake.

Imagine: making Tom relax on his birthday

To say Tom was a bit on edge would have been an understatement. With the recent GQ article talking about his previous girlfriend, and more rumors about how long the two of you would last or when you’d break up, he desperately needed a ‘lazy day’. So, you took it into your own hands, and made sure Thomas had nothing planned on his birthday until the night, when he could celebrate with family and friends.

The two of you had been long time friends, and after Thomas recovered from Taylor, you surprised each other by realizing you had buried shared emotions. You avoided the media as a couple, but the important people in your lives knew, and thanks to them, Tom Hiddleston got to have a relaxing birthday.

Said actor was currently in bed, boxers only, well past his normal waking time. His eyes eased open to the soft golden glow coming through the windows, and when he saw your heavenly smile at his side, he knew being 36 was going to be enjoyable.

“Good morning, love… What time is it?” He asked groggily, as he shifted to wrap his arms around your loosely clothed torso. You had taken to wearing Marvel pajamas as a joke with him, and currently, you just had undergarments and his Thor shirt, which was certainly oversized for you.

“9:26pm.” You responded, after glancing at the clock. You heard Tom take in a sharp breath as his eyes widened, but you wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, interrupting his worried thoughts. “Thomas, today is your birthday. You have earned a break, so don’t worry… That’s my job.” You joked lightly, running your fingers through his soft hair, letting your nails massage his scalp. He hummed contentedly at the feeling, letting his eyes close.

“Wh-What about-” he began, but soon felt your soft lips against his, prompting him to react in kind. His hands drifted to your waist and hair, but before he could lose himself in your embrace, you pulled back and smiled sweetly.

“Tom, it’s fine. Everything will be okay.” You reassured, before shifting so you straddled his waist and looked down at him, planting your hands to the sides of his head. “You deserve the world, but today, rest should do the trick. I’ll make some tea, pop in a movie or find a nice record, and we can while the day away doing whatever you want… except working.” You explained, your voice low and silky. Tom stared up at you with wonder in his eyes, as he let out a string of soft chuckles and reached his hands up to brush back your curtain of hair.

“What did I do to deserve you?” He asked, his voice wistful and loving. You chuckled lightly and leaned down, pressing your soft mouth to his in slow kisses. After a few seconds, you parted, but remained a breath away.

“You didn’t have to do anything… Now, any ideas for the day, birthday boy?” You asked with a growing grin. Thomas knew you were determined to give him a relaxing day, so he happily accepted that gift. However, he did have some plans of his own for you.

“Oh, darling… this is going to be the busiest day off we’ve ever had.”

anonymous asked:

Hello! I seen a few past post where you seem interested in the shipping of Super Girl and Lex Luther's Sister. Forgetting her name at the moment lol. However; I don't get why people ship them. They don't ooze sexual chemistry towards each other in the slightest when I watch the show. Clexa makes sense since they loved each other, but shipping two people who are straight seems odd to me. Especially when they don't even seem that into each other. What is your opinion?

Hello, I’m going to address this in parts. And I’m going emphasize the fact that this is how I feel and I don’t necessarily represent other supercorp shippers or anyone that ships a pairing that is non-canon or unpopular (though from what I’ve gathered, it’s not that unpopular of a ship?), these are just my feelings.

Okay, here we go. I hope you like reading essays.

1) “I [have] seen a few past post where you seem interested in the shipping of Supergirl and Lex Luther’s sister.” 

My friend, if you’ve only seen a few posts, you must be new here. In that case, welcome to this mess of a blog. 

2) “They don’t ooze sexual chemistry towards each other in the slightest when I watch the show.”

There’s a few words in this sentence that are prickly to me. The words “ooze sexual chemistry” implies that two characters, to be worth shipping, must look like they want to jump each other’s bones in every scene and must make it obvious to us, the viewers. You’re prefacing your argument with a suggestion that all ships must be inherently sexually based to be classified as a ship worth investing in. This tosses out the window any consideration for, say, romantic chemistry. The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive, but interactions that suggest the latter can stem from an emotional connection which I, personally, see a lot of between Kara and Lena. 

Take, for instance, their first meeting: “I’m just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside her family. You understand that?” and we get a great reaction on behalf of Melissa Benoist where Supergirl is almost surprised that she would find herself agreeing with a Luthor and very much does, in fact, feel what Lena is feeling. 

That’s not nothing. Their individual associations with their family names is a huge part of both of their lives and this is likely the first time that they’ve ever met someone that can actually understand the way it feels to be trapped in that. Adding in the fact that both of their families have committed atrocities for what they believed to be the greater good, just further develops that understanding and connection. 

All of this isn’t to say that I don’t also see sexual chemistry between the two of them, because I definitely do, I’m just saying that that’s not the only thing I look for in a ship.

Originally posted by diver5ion

Those look like some pretty big heart eyes to me, anon.

3) “Clexa makes sense since they loved each other…”

Did they love each other from the very first interaction? On sight? Does this imply, anon, that you only ship pairings that very clearly communicate their love? Did you only ship Clexa at their very last scene where Clarke admitted she loved Lexa (thank you, Eliza Taylor)? Or are there some more subtle cues that you look for that allows you to form an opinion and say “aha, these two definitely like each other!”? 

A lot of people take the stance, (some of the writers too, if memory serves), that Clarke started falling in love with Lexa when she woke up on the forest floor to find Lexa watching over her. What was there, prior to that, that built up to this? There was communicating a mutual understanding (Clarke lost Finn, Lexa lost Costia). One protecting the other (Lexa stopping one of her warriors from killing Clarke, Clarke saving Lexa from the Pauna). But they also had a lot of reason to not even like each other (Lexa was threatening to kill all of Clarke’s people for gods sake). But still, we look at that forest scene and go “ooh, yep, there are some feelings going on there.” 

Kara and Lena have mutual understanding. They also protect one another. And more to that they actually like each other from the very start. 

My point: Clexa didn’t start their very first scene together by running into each other’s arm dramatically and saying “I love you”, so I’m failing to see the basis of your evidence on this one.

4) “but shipping two people who are straight seems odd to me.”

Oh dear, where to start with this one. 

I think I’m going to start with the word “straight” (and I’m going to try to be careful and preface this with by saying that I’m not trying to step on toes here or start any discourse. This is a sensitive topic for some people, but I’m going to try to do my best). 

First, did I miss the scene where Lena states her sexuality? I haven’t seen her with anyone. Or are we assuming she’s straight purely from the comics? If that’s the case then I will point you towards looking at Wonder Woman, a character created in the 1940s that only recently was revealed to be bisexual . What I’m saying is, I wouldn’t necessarily rely purely on past historical record for proof of character traits. 

Second: Kara’s sexuality. I’m not saying she’s not straight, you could be correct. But I’m going to tell you why she could also not be. I’m making the assumption that this scene is the main basis of your argument:

Originally posted by what-fresh-incompetence

And what I’m gong to say about it is this: Realizing and understanding your sexuality is not an immediate revelation for everyone. There are a lot of people who say exactly what Kara is saying right there for a large part of their lives, only later to discover that maybe they’re not as straight as they thought. 

There is no “no taksies backsies” rule when it comes to revealing your sexuality. Someone can say they’re straight one day and gay the next and they can keep changing their label as they figure themselves out. Life isn’t so static. Things change. People change. So me believing that maybe Kara, as a character in this show, could be figuring that out about herself isn’t odd, at least not to me.

5) What is your opinion?

In the end, you’ve hit the nail on the head with the word “opinion”. I ship supercorp because I go where I see chemistry, and in my opinion, those two have the most romantic and sexual chemistry on the show. 

Originally posted by sweetcoffeelips

I can’t force you or anyone else see it.  But here’s the kicker: I don’t have to. 

Oh, please tell me the people who are making a big deal out of Yuuri’s mistakes in Rostelecom’s Free Skate are people who have never watched figure skating.

While it’s true you can’t deny the emotional stability that Viktor brings to Yuuri, there are a million other reasons why skaters can mess up a program, especially a free program, and it happens all the time. It doesn’t mean Yuuri depends excessively on Viktor.

It’s just… what usually happens. That’s how real life figure skating works, to be honest.

Yuuri has failed elements before even when he had Viktor by his side. People forget that Yuuri’s program is very complex, more than his programs in previous years. He’s still adjusting. There are several factors that can affect him. He is the kind of skater who worries a lot and suffers anxiety and that adds to possible exhaustion. He’s not overly dependent on Viktor, but coaches exist for a reason, and of course Yuuri is going to miss him, but that doesn’t mean Yuuri FAILED because Viktor wasn’t there.

Plus, the fact that he ended up fourth is because the field is ridiculously deep. There are way too many good skaters in Yuri on Ice. Yuuri didn’t skate a terrible program. His mistakes (save the popped jump) are mistakes that you can commonly see in pretty much every skater.


Looks like staying up too late to draw bakushimanari comics that make sense only to me is becoming an ill advised habit


Once, when his uncles asked him what gift he wanted for his nameday, he begged them for a dragon. “It wouldn’t need to be a big one. It could be little, like I am.” His uncle Gerion thought that was the funniest thing he had ever heard, but his uncle Tygett said, “The last dragon died a century ago, lad.” That had seemed so monstrously unfair that the boy had cried himself to sleep that night.

okay fuck off disney channel

“Chris doesn’t have that reputation because guys don’t go around calling other guys sluts” - Noora Sætre.

I just need ten minutes (harvey/mike) - for anon

Mike takes a deep breath. He can do this. He can totally do this. He stands straighter, schools his features into a look of determination, and crosses the floor to Harvey’s office.

He knocks on the open door and walks in without being invited. “Harvey.”

“Not now, Mike,” Harvey replies, gaze still focused on his laptop.

“I just need ten minutes.”

“And I’d love to give them to you, but Jessica is riding my ass over this case and my witness just recanted and I don’t-”

“I’ve been offered a job.”

That gets Harvey’s attention. His fingers still and he looks up at Mike, shock etched into every corner of his face. “What?” Harvey says, his voice tremulous.

“You heard me.”

“Yeah, I did, I just….” Harvey trails off, doesn’t finish the thought, just keeps staring at him. “Are you … are you going to take it?”

Mike hasn’t even answered yet and already Harvey looks hurt, like he’s resigning himself to the inevitable, which is Mike leaving him. “I don’t know,” Mike admits. He lets out a shuddering breath and collapses on the sofa, head in his hands. It doesn’t take long for him to feel the sofa dipping beside him.

He knows what he has to do. After all these years it’s time to tell Harvey the truth and see what happens. He just needs to find the courage to actually do it.

It takes a few moments, but he finally raises his head and looks at Harvey. “Okay, cards on the table?” Harvey nods slowly. “I should take it. It’s for a good company, and it’s not as a lawyer, so I can stop putting everyone - especially you - in danger by virtue of simply being here. It’s well paid and closer to home and seems like a really great place to work.”

“Sounds perfect,” Harvey says, not a little bitterly. “Why haven’t you taken it already?”

“Because of you.”

It isn’t often Mike gets to genuinely surprise Harvey. He knows he impresses Harvey with his memory and his ideas when it comes to casework. But this is something different, and Mike can’t help but revel in it.

“I haven’t accepted it yet because of you. Because I owe you everything, and I can’t bear the thought of leaving you. I can’t imagine us not working together anymore. Even the idea of not seeing you every day makes me feel sick, and I don’t want to live a life without you in it.”

Mike can’t tear his gaze away from Harvey’s, but that’s okay, because Harvey doesn’t seem inclined to look away either. Mike suddenly realises how close they are - he can feel the line of Harvey’s body against him, their knees pressing together - and he just wants more, to press his mouth to Harvey’s skin and breathe in his scent and be completely wrapped up in him.

Finally Harvey breaks their heavy gaze. Mike’s heart is pounding in his chest. He knows he crossed an unspoken line and there are a million ways Harvey could react. And he honestly doesn’t know which way Harvey will go.

After what feels like years Harvey turns back to him. “Take the job.”

“What?” Mike replies, his voice a near perfect echo of Harvey’s a few minutes ago.

“Take the job, Mike. And then, at the end of your first day, let me take you out to dinner.”

Mike swallows thickly. “Really?”

Harvey nods, reaching over and placing a hand over Mike’s. Mike doesn’t hesitate to move his hand so their fingers are tangled together, a touch much more intimate, and Harvey smiles in response. “Even if we don’t work together anymore, I’m not living a life without you in it either.”

hi. omg sorry for not being as active this week😥 i’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately so i feel rly exhausted all the time n my text brain has been💤 but i’ve been trying to fix it this weekend so i should be good again !!!! ah okay this post was meant for something else so here i go !!!!!!!! okok omg i feel like i have more followers than i deserve n get more love than i deserve n i always wish i could do something for u guys 2 show how truly truly truly grateful i am that u even read my lil bngtn texts !!!!! it rly means so much to me n i feel like i don’t give back 2 u guys enough so !!!!!! since yoongi n his friends released an album 2day i want to gift one to one of my followers !!!! any version ur heart desires !!! i will wrap it up n send it to u !!!!!! 💿🏃🏻‍♀️💨❗️ a gift from me 2 u !!! ah it’s not a ~give away idt bc i rly don’t want to gain followers or anything else from this !!!!!! i rly just want it to be from: winnie to: frog army friend !!! and we can do it anyway u want !! (like u can put it on ur amazon wishlist n i’ll make the wish come true. or i can send it to u myself n probably add some extra goodies in it) !!!!! so pls ❣️LIKE❣️this post if u are interested friends !!!! and pls pls pls pls ❗️DON’T REBLOG❗️ this bc i want it 2 be just for u guys !!! ofc ofc i will pick randomly !!!! i promise i will keep it super fair ❤️🌹 love u guys forever !

cosmic-files-87  asked:

2/11/15 MSR for the angsty list....I know....I am an ass.... (but really!!!!! Please write that!!!!)

2 - I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you.

11 - You can’t keep hurting me and then demand I apologize instead.

15 - You betrayed me.

Author’s Notes: Okay, this one hurts. Like a kick to the groin kind of hurt. I almost feel bad. It is high angst & will probably piss some of you off. If you proceed – you were warned. Post IWTB.

Two Weeks, Too Cold

It’s been two full weeks since she’s seen him.

She can’t remember the last time she went more than a day without hearing his voice – What’s up, Doc? – watching him as he watched her, or felt his broad chest against her back as he spooned her to sleep.

I won’t be coming home, she had said. Don’t do this, he had begged.

Scully keeps telling herself that she made a mistake by letting him kiss her as she stood in their front yard with tears rolling down her face, by entertaining the notion that they could ever hide from the darkness. It was cruel, she thinks, because even then she knew that she wouldn’t be coming back home.

Which isn’t exactly true, because she did come home, briefly, to gather a bag or two of her belongings. Her chest aches at the memory – of the desperate tears and of his voice breaking on each  I’m sorry and please don’t leave me.

That was two weeks ago. Two weeks that have been filled with work, because if she can’t help the man she loves then at least she can help a child breathe. Two weeks filled with too much coffee, because her fingers feel ice cold without his own interlaced with them. Too little sleep, because her skin trembles and aches without his hands there to gentle away the nightmares.

Two weeks, she has decided, is long enough.

I just want to see him, she tells herself as she guides her car onto the long gravel drive that leads to their shared home. The house is modest, but cozy. Most of all, it’s theirs. The few tangible things they’ve shared in the past have been wrenched away from them – but not their home. No blood to scrub out of the carpet, no taped X in the window to summon life-threatening information. It’s just home, and it’s theirs.

She steps out of her car into the crisp air of early morning to pull open the gate, and she smiles to herself. The ritual of it is comforting. Countless mornings and evenings have began and ended with opening this gate, letting herself back into the beautiful, private world she shares with Mulder.

Pulling into her spot in front of the house, she sees a strange car. She frowns curiously. Did he go out and buy a car after I left? She wouldn’t put it past him, except that it would require his actually leaving the house (and nothing short of a psychic priest has convinced him to do so thus far).

On her walk to the front door, her heart begins to hammer against her ribs at the thought of seeing him again.  It’s only been two weeks, she chides herself. Still, she expects that he may be angry. When he’s hurt, he tends to deflect – in his case, that means petulant withdrawal and an abundance of sarcasm.

She draws in a deep breath and unlocks the door. He may still be asleep, she realizes as she steps into quiet darkness. It’s just after five o’clock in the morning. Just because she hasn’t been able to rest doesn’t mean he can’t.

But oh, she’s finally home. She closes her eyes, relishing the smell of Mulder’s aftershave mingled with the scent of the roses he had delivered to her office just a week before those goddamned agents showed up at the hospital. She remembers bringing them home, carefully tucking them into a vase of water. They’re beautiful, she had told him. Not as beautiful as you, he had replied, his hand tucked against the small of her back.

“Who are you?”

Scully starts at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, opening her eyes to see a woman standing at the threshold where kitchen becomes living room.

A woman.

Tall. Brunette. Holding a glass of water. Wearing only a t-shirt and a confused expression.

“This is my house,” Scully says, the words scraping past a throat that has gone as dry as desert sand. “Who are you?”

The woman stares back, tugging at the hem of her t-shirt uncomfortably.

No, not her t-shirt. Mulder’s t-shirt. Scully’s favorite shirt that Mulder owns, because it’s soft and worn and somehow still smells like the cologne he wore the first time she slept in his arms, even after all these years.

I’m going to be sick, this is not happening, oh Mulder what is going on…

The woman finally speaks, clearing her throat. “He – he said he lived alone.”

I’ve wandered into the wrong house, Scully thinks numbly. That’s the only explanation that makes sense.

But no. That’s Mulder’s shirt, and that’s the drinking glass my mother gave to me when we moved here. That’s the couch where Mulder and I made love less than a month ago.


This can’t be the wrong house, because that’s Mulder. He’s standing in front of her, and he’s not wearing my favorite shirt, he’s not wearing a shirt at all, and he looks terrified, and oh God I’m going to be sick…

“Mulder?” Her voice sounds tiny. Her hands are still freezing, but now her palms are sweating as her stomach churns. Please explain this, Mulder, she begs silently. Please please please please.

“Who is she?” When the other woman speaks again, Scully wants to scream at her. She has no right to ask that. Scully is the one who should be demanding an explanation. She’s the one who deserves an answer. Not this stranger, with her morning-after hair and her long smooth legs brushing the hem of Mulder’s shirt.

I’m going to be sick.

“Mulder?” This time, her voice is louder, sharper, less please tell me this isn’t what it looks like and more how fucking could you.

He doesn’t acknowledge the other woman’s inquiry, instead stepping toward Scully with his hand outstretched. “Scully,” he begins, and her name on his lips tells her all she needs to know. She’s heard him speak her names countless times – calling to her for help, playfully teasing her, comforting her in times of distress, moaning in ecstasy as she coaxes him to climax, even shouting in anger during a particularly intense argument.

Never – never – has he said her name with this desperate, helpless tone threaded through it.

The woman has disappeared, and Scully can hear her in the bedroom – our bedroom  – gathering her things, probably eager to get away from this house – our house – and whatever is about to happen between them.

Mulder moves forward, and she sees panic etched into the lines of his face.

She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head as the full realization of what’s happening settles over her. “No,” she chokes, swallowing against a throatful of stomach acid. “No, no, no.”

“I’m sorry, Scully, please let me explain.”

Her eyes fly open, and she wraps her arms around herself. “Explain?” Her voice catches on a sob. “What is there to explain?” She stares at his face, his beautiful face, and it’s more than she can take, his eyes full of regret. She backs away, grappling for the doorknob.

“Scully, don’t leave. Please.”

Two weeks, Mulder!” Her stomach aches, her head pounds, and I need to get out of here, this is not happening. “I was gone two fucking weeks!”

She is hot and cold at the same time, her clammy palms sliding against the doorknob as her fingers shake uncontrollably. She feels the heat of his body behind her, and oh God, she wants to lean into him, just to warm her hands, but nonononono, she has to leave, she cannot stay another minute in this house.

When he places a hand against her shoulder, her entire body recoils. “Get the hell away from me,” she gasps, her breaths coming in shorter spurts now, her lungs burning.

The doorknob finally relents, and she shoves against the door, stumbling outside where it’s still so cold, it’s not home, and she can’t breathe, and fuck you Mulder how dare you how fucking dare you.

He follows her across the yard. “Scully, please.”

She doesn’t break stride or respond. She’s almost to her car when she feels his hand catch the arm of her coat. She jerks free, but his grasp is lighter than she expected, and the heel of her boot slides against a leftover patch of ice. 

Under any other circumstance, she would have caught herself. The reflexes instilled in her all those years ago in FBI field training never failed her before, but she can’t even catch her breath so how is supposed to support her full weight?

Maybe she doesn’t even want to.

Her knee meets the ground with a sharp crunch, and she hisses in pain.

Immediately, Mulder is at her side. “Oh God,” he says, and reaches for her again. She slaps his hand away, and finally the tears she’s been fighting break through, streaming hot against her chilled face.

“In our bed, Mulder,” she says bitterly, leaning back against the tire of her car. “I was gone two weeks, and you fucked someone in my bed.” She tries to suck in a lungful of air, but is met with resistance when the breath halts on a sob. So this is what suffocation feels like.

“I was drunk,” he whispers miserably.

“When are you not?”

He flinches, but continues. “I don’t know what happened. Scully, I don’t even know her.”

“Where did you meet her, Mulder?” She glares through her tears. “All this time, while I’ve been working, have you just been out meeting women to bring back to our home? Our bed?”

“Of course not,” he breathes, staring at her in horror. “Never. You know me better than that.”

“I thought I did,” she whispers brokenly. “I never believed you would do this. Not in a million years, Mulder.”

“Neither did I.“ His voice is pitiful and sincere.

She swallows thickly. “You betrayed me.”

He sinks all the way down beside her. “I know,” he says quietly. “I know, and I’m so sorry.” There is a heavy silence between them for a moment before he adds, “Scully, you left me.”

Scully shifts to face him, and grits her teeth against the pain that the motion sends shooting through her knee. “You’re unbelievable,” she spits venomously. “You screw another woman in my bed, on the sheets you bought for me on my last birthday, and you’re making this my fault?” She fumbles with the top of the tire, trying to pull herself to her feet.

“Scully, stop,” Mulder pleads. “You’re hurt – your leg.”

“You’re damn right I’m hurt,” she snaps. “And it has nothing to do with my leg.”

She gives up on standing for the moment. “You never answered my question,” she tells him, her eyes burning hot into his.

“What question?”

“Where did you meet her? I’ve never known you to socialize, but clearly, there are a few parts of your character I somehow missed in all our years together.”

He stares at his hands for a moment before meeting her gaze. “I went on a walk and ended up at a bar. It’s a couple miles down the road. I had more than I planned, and she – she offered to drive me home.”

Scully folds her arms tightly around her midsection. The tire is wreaking havoc on her back, but she barely notices.

“Classy, Mulder.” She closes her eyes again, but the tears fall anyway.

He sighs. “You left, Scully. You just left, and you wouldn’t return my calls. I didn’t know if you were ever coming back.”

Scully tenses as another wave of nausea washes over her. “I left because you wouldn’t leave the house unless it was to spiral back into your fucking paranoid obsessions!” 

She covers her face with both hands. “You can’t keep doing this,” she sobs. “You can’t keep hurting me, and then demand that I apologize instead.”

“When have I done that?” His voice is laced with disbelief. “When have I ever done that, Scully?”

Fuck you Mulder fuck you fuck you fuck you –

“Fuck you,” she cries, gripping the edge of the tire again and heaving herself to her feet. “I don’t need you.” 

She ignores the throbbing in her knee when she puts weight on it. “I don’t need anyone,” she says, her voice breaking. “I think we both know I’ve survived greater losses.” She wrestles with her purse, digging for her keys. “But it’s fine. I don’t need any of you.”

Mulder touches her shoulder, and she shrugs him away again. “Don’t touch me.” She yanks her car door open. “I told you to get away from me.”

“Scully, I’m sorry,” he says weakly. “You may not need me, but I need you. I always have.”

“You didn’t need me last night,” she tosses back viciously as she forces key into ignition. “I can’t take care of you anymore, Mulder. Figure it out.”

He positions his body so that she is blocked from closing the door. “Scully,” he tries again, his voice echoing with despair. “I’m begging you. Please. You came back for a reason. Please don’t leave again.”

Her chin trembles as she answers him in a voice as brittle as dry ice. “I left for a reason, too.”

She grasps the door handle in her hand despite the remaining tremors. “Move.”

He slowly backs away, and at last she sees tears shining in his eyes. It’s too late, it’s too much this time, I can’t.

The sound of her slamming door causes him to jump. The pressure she places on her gas pedal makes her moan with pain as her knee protests the movement.

When she glances in her rearview mirror, she sees a tear-blurred image of her entire world, standing with his arms hanging helplessly at his sides.

He’s still not wearing a shirt, she realizes.

Go back inside, Mulder. It’s too cold out here.

I would know.


Before you ask, yes, there will almost certainly be a follow-up.

northern downpour // panic! at the disco