i don't mean to rip out your hearts

Rejected Draft of a Conversation Between Henry and the Evil Queen
  • EQ: You're upset about your grandparents.
  • Henry: They don't deserve this.
  • EQ: Really? When was the last time you saw them help somebody they weren't directly related to? Even that one dwarf is still a tree. At least I think.
  • Henry: But my mom is upset-
  • EQ: Right, Emma. The mother who not only ditched her maternal responsibilities to suck face with a pirate-
  • Henry: I want her to be happy.
  • EQ: Don't interrupt me. She also decided to have said pirate move in with you when it's been canonically, what? Four months since your father died? I'm not even talking about how she had you come to Hell to get her boyfriend back from the dead just after you had escaped going to Hell in the first place.
  • Henry: My real mom, Regina-
  • EQ: You mean the woman trying to help the woman who murdered your father? That one? These are your heroes? I will not endorse you having such terrible role models.
  • Henry: You rip people's hearts out to control them.
  • EQ: But I don't lie about it.
Alex Hirsch's guide to having a really great and popular show.

Step one- Air your pilot and establish the main characters. Add a pinch of mystery, along with a motive for the characters to dig deeper.

Step two- have a consistent release schedule.

Step three- Show how close your main characters are.

Step four- Begin adding secrets to the background.

Step five- Reveal all of said secrets slowly. By slowly I mean almost never.

Step six- obliterate the release schedule, kick back and watch the fans devour any content.

Step seven- Add an expectedly unexpected twist.

Step eight- drive a wedge in the relationships between the main characters.

Step nine- go on hiatus and watch the fans suffer from lack of content and broken hearts.

Step ten- continue to rip out people’s hearts with your show. Remember, there will never be a need to buy salt. You’ll have JARS of tears!

Step eleven (optional)- Kill all but one, and watch the profit roll in.

quirky-chowder  asked:

What are Gravity Falls and Stephen Universe about? I've only seen Over the Garden Wall and fans of OtGW seem to like GF and SU as well...I've only seen brief ads for them and I don't know if they are worth my time ;p

Gravity Falls is about twins Dipper and Mabel being sent to live with they’re great uncle Stan (which I just read for the first time means being the brother to someone’s grandfather. Is Stanley Dipper and Mabel’s grandfather?) they stay in a place called Gravity Falls. Soon Dipper finds a journal which tells of strange mysteries in the town. Dipper along with his sister try to figure out what the mystery of Gravity Falls is.

It’s also very funny and it will rip your heart out.

Steven Universe is about a group of alien gems called the crystal gems who came to earth 5000 years ago. Now present day they protect  earth with the help of a little boy called Steven (who is half human half gem) Steven hasn’t really figured out how his gem works so he spends a lot of time trying to master it when he’s not on missions with the crystal gems.

It’s also very funny and it will rip your heart out

The Fandoms: Episode 10 or 13, (we'll just make this 13) Also SPOILERS FOR "WALKING DEAD"!
  • <p> <b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "Okay guys, mid-season finale time is approaching, how are things going?"<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "Well we still got this whole darkness thing going on..."<p/><b>Once Upon A Time fandom:</b> "Pick a number..."<p/><b>Sherlock fandom:</b> "Mid season? How about a season!"<p/><b>Sleepy Hollow fandom:</b> Writers trying to put Abbie and Crane with other people so that they're not together yeah guys we're really gonna fall for that..."<p/><b></b> *random screaming from downstairs*<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "What in the Hell was that?"<p/><b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "Come on Sherlockians wasn't Moriarty in Spectre? Doesn't that tide you over for a bit?"<p/><b>Sherlock fandom:</b> "That wasn't us! And for the record, Spectre was all about the 00Q, although what happened to C was eerily similar to what happened at the end of Reic-"<p/><b></b> *downstairs noise gets louder*<p/><b>Once Upon a Time fandom:</b> "Maybe it's the Star Wars fandom again?"<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "Again? Geez by the time the movie's released its gonna be the apocalypse..."<p/><b>Marvel fandom:</b> "Speaking of Apocalyp-"<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "NOT YOUR CUE, Marvel fandom!"<p/><b>Doctor Who:</b> "OKAY let's figure out the deal with the noise"<p/><b></b> *fandoms go downstairs, sees "The Walking Dead" fandom in a bizarre state*<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "Holy crap what happened here?"<p/><b>Sherlock fandom:</b> "Were we...were we this bad?"<p/><b>Once Upon a Time fandom:</b> "Maybe they need a little bit of magic???"<p/><b>Harry Potter fandom:</b> "Ditto on that."<p/><b>Walking Dead fandom:</b> "Ughhh....ughhAHHHHHH! *Throws object at wall* AHHHHHH!!!"<p/><b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "Don't worry I can translate this, I am after all The Doctor..."<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "I thought you guys were a fand-"<p/><b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "Ahh yes...they're going through cliffhanger anguish...wait...its a character life or death cliffhanger anguish...two episodes have gone by...still no answers..."<p/><b>Walking Dead fandom:</b> "GLENNNNN!"<p/><b>Sleepy Hollow fandom:</b> "Glen, as in Maggie's Glen? That's horrible!"<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "Maggie...why does she sound familiar..."<p/><b>Walking Dead fandom:</b> "All the writers had to so was tell us whether or not he's dead! That's it! THAT'S IT! Maggie's...i mean she has no one left...NO ONE, except for Glenn and the baby....THE BABY...THE 2ND CHILD BORN POST APOCALYPSE WHO NEEDS HIS/HER FATHER TO BE THERE IT'S JUST...WHY WOULD THE WRITERS DO THAT!!"<p/><b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "Writers like to do that, they like to mess with us, break our hearts...especially if you have two of them..."<p/><b>Once Upon a Time:</b> "Sometimes they literally make you rip someone's heart out...and I don't mean figuratively like WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO RIP A PERSON'S HEART OUT OF THEIR CHEST..."<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "Hey, maybe he's not dead, I mean Sammy and I have been through some crazy mess and we're still here..."<p/><b>Sleepy Hollow fandom:</b> "Didn't y'all die a couple of times?"<p/><b>Supernatural fandom:</b> "Yes but we still...found a way back...sort of...it's...very complicated"<p/><b>Orphan Black fandom:</b> "We have to wait until April to find out whether or not our character is still alive..."<p/><b>Game of Thrones fandom:</b> "Don't even get us started on that subject..."<p/><b>Sherlock fandom:</b> "At least you guys know when your shows are coming back..."<p/><b>Firefly fandom:</b> "At least your show is coming back..."<p/><b>Marvel fandom:</b> "Oh my God Firefly fandom I'm sure they'll revive your show at some point I mean if they can bring "X-Files" and "Heroes" back then they'll bring you guys ba-"<p/><b>Firefly fandom:</b> "YOU STOLE WHAT WAS GOOD FROM US! YOU STOLE WHEDON!"<p/><b>Marvel fandom:</b> "Dude the cancellation bear ended your show, not us!"<p/><b>Sherlock fandom:</b> "Oh my Mycroft if season 4 doesn't come soon this is gonna be us..."<p/><b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "OK guys that's enough...Walking Dead fandom, what we're trying to say is, we've all faced that character's fate cliffhanger situation, and it can be tough...but we're here for support, whether you want it or not...<p/><b>Walking Dead fandom:</b> "Thanks guys...it's just, Glen man..."<p/><b>Doctor Who fandom:</b> "I know...as it is we got a character on our own that we're braced to lose, and believe us, none of us are ready...but when it comes to fandoms, we stick together, at least that's what we're supposed to do..."<p/><b>Supernatural Fandom:</b> "So...now what?"<p/><b></b> *Fandoms huddle together and listen to "Hello" by Adele"<p/></p>