i don't like the second one as much but it's okay

I stopped writing about you all the time and stopped thinking of us as much.

So why is it that when I do, it hurts so bad? It feels like every single mistake I’ve made crashes down on me at once until I can’t breathe anymore.

It feels like goodbye.

But babe I miss you so much. I’m not ready to say goodbye yet…

—  I guess this is it.

Jack & David ~ Kings
↳ 8 caps per episode - “The New King: Part I”

so, I’ve got a couple issues with how fandom and CS fandom in particular is responding to tonight’s episode, and so I’d like to get something off my chest

the obsession with infantilizing hook and pretty much ignoring the 99% of his life before he met emma is really getting on my nerves. one of the things I really disliked about s4 was how they essentially made him into a toothless puppy who was infatuated with a woman. which is okay, in a sense, because that’s what was needed then. but fandom has forgotten that before he was killian jones again, he was captain hook. we got a teaser two weeks ago, a reminder of the villain he used to be, and that excited me.

because like it or not, he wasn’t ooc or horribly one-dimensional tonight. he was everything he’s always been when consumed by darkness(rash, thoughtless, selfish, hurtful, evil)

think about the three hundred or so years he spent as a villain, embracing his darkness, with only small little glimmers of light. all we’ve seen is the glimmers, and yet we think he wasn’t so bad.

but yes, he was so bad.

he had a very long time with darkness as his only companion, selfishness corrupting what had started out honest enough(with love) until all he had was his revenge. it’s only been since emma stepped into his life that he’s begun to see the light and step away from that darkness, searching for a happier ending. so counter three hundred years of hate with maybe fifteen or sixteen years total of love(liam, milah, and emma), and you start to see why it’s so damned easy for him to slip back into who he was.

remember emma herself, who was ready to leave her family, despite how much they loved her, and run back to new york with henry, because that’s what she was good at, because that was what she knew and once she’d had a taste of the easy life, she wanted it for the rest of her life. and she’d only been alone for twenty-eight years.

it’s easy to love someone when the going is easy, and it’s easy to stay when you love someone. see aforementioned puppy killian from s4. he loved emma because there really wasn’t a huge drastic issue standing between them. there wasn’t the ultimate betrayal. it’s easy to be selfish and hate, it’s so fucking hard to love someone who committed the ultimate betrayal against you. and if this was any other situation, would we still be saying he has no right to be this way?

and now there is and we’re surprised by his reactions?

we shouldn’t be. hook has always felt things so intensely; he loves or he hates and I doubt he’s ever had to try to live with both. yet he quite obviously still does love emma, you can see it in how he threatens rumple and when he struggles with the darkness at first. he loves her. but he also hates her. and how can he reconcile the woman he loves with the darkness he hates(that makes him hate), with the betrayal she caused. so he doesn’t. he hates her with every fiber of his being, and he tells her so. he crushes her heart before she has a chance to crush his(again).

everything has been leading up to this darkness. like adam said; the darkness is like giving a drunk a drink, and emma didn’t just pass him a sip, she force-fed him the bottle and threw away his liver. hook cannot deal with it on his own, and she showed her hand, showed he couldn’t trust her when not only did she turn him into the dark one, but she made her first words to him a lie about excalibur. how was he supposed to trust her to help him after that? by the time she realized what she’d done it was too late because he’d already let it in.

we know the darkness consumes someone, and hook was and always has been ripe for the consuming. he’s smart, but he’s reckless, and the darkness preyed on that, because it knew he would do whatever he had to to make sure he would never get hurt again. it feels like reaching to say this is all his grand plan, that there’s a good honest reason behind it all. who knows, I might be wrong, and I eagerly await whatever will happen. but I think hook is dark. I think the darkness is playing him, not the other way around, because this does make sense.

but, of course, there is a glimmer. his own words will come back to haunt him soon, because I firmly believe that he was right, and we’re all about to see it; anything can be forgiven when someone loves you. even when that anything is as dark as what hook has done.

especially when that someone is the motherfucking savior

2 hours, 37 minutes, 21 seconds

That is the length of the first season of Carmilla, the Christmas special included.

37 episodes, and it totals up to the length of a long film.

As a web series, instead of a television show actual, Carmilla has several other characteristics in common with movies, almost making it a hybrid of sorts. There’s one main writer, with a story editor, instead of a writer’s room doling out scripts like a creative writing Santa. Every last inch of dialogue was finished before filming; every last bit of filming has been finished, and no amount of fan feedback changes what will be aired.

Jordan and Ellen, as well as the entire crew, have done a fantastic job of trying to make each episode its own thing. Seriously, hats off. But there’s only so much you can pack into a four-minute episode. The transmedia is a huge help, but even with the assist, the show cannot stand on the strength of an entire episode. The series as a whole is a holistic experience.

Carmilla is much, much more like a movie.

Speaking of movies, you know that one person you go see the latest blockbuster ( or maybe it’s thriller season), and at every single dramatic turn, they gasp and turn to you. “I can’t BELIEVE that character did that! Why do you think they did that?!?!?!” Maybe you blink for a few seconds, murmur that the character is an asshole, and grab a handful of popcorn as you turn back to the screen. Two minutes later, “Ugh, I hate them! Don’t you hate them?! Why is this happening?!?!?!” You’d really like to stare at them for a few minutes, because honestly, but really you just turn back to the screen because that’s what you’re trying to find out.

Now back to Carmilla. The show does air in episodic form, so clearly there are designated breaks and discussion is encouraged. Even critique, so long as it’s not nasty.

However.

Getting up in arms that characters are being abusive, that they’re out of character, that the plot is boring, that you’re only watching because of fanservice, is the equivalent of being that person. That person who doesn’t understand that you’re watching a film to find out the creative choices. To find out what happens. 

Don’t be that person.

2

Favorite SPN Episodes: [2/?] 1x06 “Skin”

“It’s funny. I kind of understand him. He’s all alone- close to no one. All he wants is for someone to love him. He’s like me.”

  • Me: *takes a deep breath*
  • Me: I lov-
  • anyone who has spent five seconds on my blog: yes, you love Osomatsu, we know, you love Osomatsu so much, he's the light of your life, you love him so much, you just love Osomatsu, we KNOW , you love Osomatsu you freaking love Osomatsu ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE OSOMATSU. WE GET IT.

anonymous asked:

do you have any tips/ideas for improving my chances of getting into a tumblr collective (ie. nosebleedclub)? this is my second time applying to one but there's a lot of submissions & i really don't know how to make mine stand out from everyone else's.. i haven't had a tumblr blog for that long so idk what poems/etc. might seem more original/unique/interesting.

ummmm okay, so i think ur gonna read my response & p much go ‘i regret coming 2 u with this, this wasn’t helpful At All’ but 

i think the point of a collective is not … so much to have your writing fit the collective, but have the collective fit you? do u know what i mean? if u try to alter your writing for the purpose of trying to join up with a group i think you’ll find that you’re producing really inauthentic work, like you’ll be more concerned w/ whether it matches a certain vibe, style, or theme then focusing on shaping up ur own writing or developing a clearer voice of ur own. 

like honestly my advice would be just to bone tf up on ur own work. ask yourself if you like what you’re writing, if you’re excited by your own work. if the answer is yes & you’re still not getting accepted into the collectives maybe they’re not for u idk. if the answer is no then diversify ur reading. go from ee cummings to mary oliver to joy harjo to danez smith to like, emily o’niell or Whoever. if u want to write more interesting work then u absolutely have to be reading a bunch of different writers & go from there.

i mean, i’m probably…. not the person to ask bc joining up w/ a collective has never been my priority as a writer like it was just something i fell into. which isn’t to say i’m not happy it happened or unbelievably awed & grateful, bc i am. without nbc i wouldn’t be where i am today as a writer but i also think its important to point out that it’s because i was suddenly exposed to all of these writers who were so much better than me & who were my contemporaries & so i learned from them. 

i can go ahead & tell you what i might look for in terms of acceptance into a collective which would be something like: 

1. interesting writing (is the person’s writing generic? would it be easy for me to substitute them for another writer & find myself noticing any real difference? does their writing impact me in some way or make me ask questions about my own work? ultimately, do i want to continue to listen to what they have to say?) 
2. polished writing (i want to be able to tell just by reading that this is something they do frequently, that they are practiced, i don’t mean it has to be clean & neat, but that they care enough about their own work to be diligent in its creation) 
3. community involvement (are they gonna want to participate in the collective? are they gonna wanna talk shop w/ ppl? be friendly & amiable to other group members? why have someone in a collective if they’re only gonna be there to get their work reblogged?) 

besides the last one, its pretty subjective, u know? so like, trying to find a way to fit urself into the expectations of a bunch of ppl could actually hurt you rather then better you as a writer. idk, i wouldn’t be too concerned about it. the focus should be on ur work first & foremost. like if you’re new on tumblr ur best choice might not even be to find urself a collective yet & join. i think i was writing on tumblr for a year before i joined up with nbc. 

so like, my advice would be just to focus on your work. make sure its authentic because the best work always is. ppl can tell when you’re forcing it, & don’t try to cater your writing to a specific audience because its gonna be obvious in the work itself that its not rly the things you’re interested in saying. at the end of the day, & u can take this as my advice for ur original question or as the end to this v long winded ramble i’ve got going on, for any kind of good writing just be authentic, be authentic, be authentic.

Why Strange Magic is Actually Brilliant: A Conversation Turned into a Revelation

AKA My Sweater Deserves an Award

There are moths in this world. Let that be known. And I realize that moths exist. But sometimes I forget what they do and how much it annoys me. 

Like, for example, eat a whole in the cuff of one of my favorite sweaters.

So there I am, holding up this sweater, scowling at the dime sized hole while my sister watches on, her head tilted.

“What’s wrong?”

I scoffed, throwing the thing down. “It was a moth,” I groused. “They ate through my sweater.”

“Isn’t that-”

The second time its happened? Yeah.” I sighed. There was no fixing anything now, and honestly, getting upset over a sweater seemed too trivial. “Just make sure you close the door when you come in, or we’ll get more of them in here and I can’t lose another sweater. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” she shrugged, picking the thing up between pinched fingers. “You know, I could probably sew this up for you. It’s just a hole.”

“Of course you could sew it up,” I replied, rummaging round the room for another. “The thing is, if you sew it up then it’ll just pucker. You really can’t fix what moths eat into. You’d just make a scar.”

“No one will notice.”

I’ll notice.”

“Whatever.”

“Not whatever!” I snapped back, giving her a pointed look. “Once something is broken you can’t fix it like that. Besides, all moths are gonna do is eat another one and then those will just have holes that we have to fix. And like I said, you can try and sew it up but it will never be the- OH HOLY SHIT.”

“What! What happened!?”

Strange Magic is fucking brilliant that’s what happened.

“What’s Strange-”

“NO TIME! MUST BLOG!”

Because Roland ate away. That’s what moths do. They create holes that need to be sewn by others. And as much as that person can’t see it’s there, you’ll always feel the scar.

Marianne will always carry what Roland wrought. But she embraces the puckered edges and the slatted lines and the mismatched thread. She notices. And she loves to notice it.

I just think I figured out Roland’s character through a fucking sweater.

I have risen to Insane Boss Level and there is no going back.

I swear right now. Fight me. I’m only five foot and have the strength of a rainbow floating on a pastel cloud made out of tiny happy goldfish BUT I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN TO PROVE THIS.