i don't like putting myself out there like this often but

[TRANS] non-no Magazine 2018 Jan Issue - 100 Answers w/ BTS

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JUNGKOOK

Q1. Your dream job when you were a child?
A badminton player when I was in elementary school. After that my parents bought me a computer so I got into gaming and wanted to do a job about gaming.

Q2. How did the members celebrate your birthday in 2017?
We were all practicing singing and dancing and the lights suddenly went off, then the door was opened and Jimin-san and V-san came in holding a cake.

Q3. When do you feel like you have become an adult!
I turned 20 in Japanese age in September! But actually I’m still a kid at heart, so truthfully I don’t really feel like I have become an adult.

Q4. In which moment do you feel like you’re still a kid?
For example, when I watch and think about a video or an interview. When I read people’s comments, I feel like even with the same question, they think from a much bigger point of view than me. That’s when I feel like maybe I’m still lacking in depth.

Q5. A work that touched you recently?
“Love, Rosie”. It made me touched because it’s a sweet but sad love story.

Q6. The kind of song you’re planning to compose?
Song of styles like future base and chillstep which I enjoy and listen to a lot.

Q7. Favorite dessert?
The Japanese snack kinako mochi. I like that it melts in my mouth because it’s just so fluffy! Also I ate cheesecake before the photoshoot for <non-no>. That one was delicious too♡

Q8. How do you take care of your beautiful voice?
I don’t pay particular attention to it… Like I just sing with my original voice I’ve had since I was born…

Q9. Any habit?
Covering my nose when I yawn. Not mouth but nose somehow. (laughs) And I pull the baby hair on my face unconsciously. I know about these things because fans told me.

Keep reading

"copycat” still really bothers me

i’m sure i’m not the first person to notice this but i’m rewatching the show and the episode “copycat” just gets me so annoyed and irritated because of how adrien was written in that episode. this is probably the episode where we have the most blatant, explicit evidence of one of adrien’s flaws (i.e. his jealousy) and he is at no point forced to be held accountable for his actions. 

adrien quite literally causes an akuma because of his jealousy. but he is not forced to apologize to theo for lying about his relationship with ladybug, he’s not forced to apologize to ladybug for lying about said relationship without her consent, and adrien himself is not allowed time in the episode to acknowledge his jealousy, find fault in it, and learn from his mistake. 

adrien as a character already has this annoying habit of being presented as the “perfect boy” who very rarely makes mistakes and is idolized for it. not just by marinette. by pretty much everyone. “jackady” had this really strange scene where gabriel and ladybug were staring at adrien’s modeling shots and gushing about how “flawless” and “perfect” he is. and most of adrien’s arguably negative qualities (e.g. his occassional inability to take things seriously in battle, his naivete, his occasional impulsiveness as chat noir, etc.) are often presented in ways that either make us sympathize with his behavior or find it endearing. 

“copycat” is probably one of the only (if not the only) episodes where adrien is very clearly doing something wrong. he’s angry that theo likes ladybug so much so he lies about his relationship with ladybug and tells theo they’re a thing so that he can back off and chat noir can have ladybug all to himself. 

the problem is that the show doesn’t call out adrien for this jealousy. about the only time it does is when plagg makes a dig at him right when adrien realizes who the akuma is. 

and despite this, adrien merely rolls his eyes at plagg and scoffs at the comment as if it’s a joke. that was the perfect opportunity for adrien to take just a few seconds to say “you’re right. i should’ve never lied and let myself get jealous. that was wrong of me.”

about the best we can get is when chat noir acknowledges that he was the one who caused the akuma so he’s the one who has to go and get himself out of it. but at no point does he tell ladybug why this happened (especially because it involves her) and at no point does he vocalize the mistake he made, i.e. the fact that he let his jealousy take over. 

then this is where the episode really starts to bother me

he calls out ladybug for not showing up to the statue unveiling. they actually make chat noir take time in the middle of his screw up to basically tell ladybug “well maybe you’d know what’s going on if you showed up this morning.” ladybug had done nothing wrong in regards to this akuma. we’re dealing with her phone stealing and her bad time management on the side, but this has nothing to do with the akuma. if anyone’s mistakes should be being highlighted here, it’s adrien’s. 

but the episode continues to just let adrien get away with the fact that he lied. ladybug praises chat noir for his honesty and for the fact that he’s never lied to ladybug about anything (hello, irony) and normally this would be a pretty good moment for chat noir to at least look guilty. but instead he merely thanks her for the compliment and continues fighting anyway. 

and then it gets even worse because the one who apologizes at the end of the episode is ladybug!! she apologizes to theo for not showing up to the unveiling! which, fine ok, but where was adrien’s apology? where was his opportunity to explain to ladybug that he messed up for lying about their relationship, causing this akuma, and putting ladybug in danger?

it’s replaced with chat noir’s angst about his crush not being returned. 

we feel bad for him at the end of this episode because his “crush was crushed.” let alone that he let his jealousy get the better of him and lied to a stranger about ladybug and his relationship behind her back. we end the episode feeling sympathy for chat noir because ladybug doesn’t feel the same way for him. mr. perfect finally has an episode where he screws up and the show does not allow him to take sufficient responsibility for it and own up to his mistake. 

and it further annoys me that this happened because anytime marinette messes up, she almost always apologizes. when she didn’t listen to chloe and caused her to be akumatized? she apologized to her for not listening to her. when she yelled at lila and caused her to be akumatized because of her own jealousy? she apologized to lila for being so mean to her. marinette is continuously asked to own up to her mistakes and apologize for them (as she should) meanwhile the one time adrien screws up, he gets let off for it. 

idk man, it just gets me upset that adrien got it so easy in this episode. he should’ve apologized to theo. he should’ve told ladybug the truth. he should’ve owned up to the fact that his jealousy was totally unwarranted. 

Emotional abuse in platonic relationships (long)

My tumblr is usually my escapism fun zone, but it’s time for a quick serious talk.

I’ve been in a few emotionally abusive platonic relationships and was always frustrated that nearly every help article I read online was written primarily for cis women in a hetero, romantic relationship. Most guides talked about physical violence, sex, and a whole slew of other circumstances I did not experience.

Unfortunately, emotional abusive is not limited just to romantic relationships. Platonic relationships, especially long-term or otherwise intense ones (for example, those that spawn in fandom and minority spaces), can be just as difficult to recognize, confront, and escape.

I thought it might be helpful to outline patterns of abuse I have experienced in a platonic relationship with someone of the same gender. These abuse tactics are forms of control and most are intended to isolate and break down the victim. While it’s easy to write off behaviors individually, together, they form destructive and very deliberate patterns.

More below the cut. I’ve sat on this article for about 3 years to help distance myself from these bad friendships and make sure it wasn’t just me lashing out in the moment. Some of this content may be triggering for emotional and sexual abuse and transphobia.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

SOPHIE!! i don't have Twitter so i have no idea what everyone is talking about Tyren and camren and L's tweets so pLEASE update me, i want to know e v e r y t h i n g !!! pls and thanks❤️

Okay, so it started when Ty posted this pic :

In a way confirming his relationship with Lauren.

The fandom got insane over it. Basically people are calling Lauren an hypocrite for dating a guy like Ty, who is known to have questionable opinions on women and the LGBTQ community, when she’s a proud feminist and bisexual.

Now there are three types of “haters” in there : 

1. The basic idiots, who don’t know anything about Lauren and who are just there to hate for pleasure - the real “fake fans”

2. The basic idiots who pretend to be “real fans” - often mistaken to be only Camren shippers when really most of them don’t even really ship Camren, they just want to piss Lauren off

3. The real fans, who are actually not hating on Lauren but are just worried about her and her decisions lately - but are still respectful about it - there are Camren shippers in there, respectful ones.

Anyways, earlier today Lauren lashed out in a few tweets about all the hate she was getting for maybe dating Ty

Until then it was okay, Lauren’s usual “I pretend that I don’t give a fuck but really I do” tweet - but then shit hit the fan when she replied to this tweet :

Once again, Lauren put every haters in the Camren shipper basket. Basically going back to the “sick pleasure” tweet she did a few months ago and once again not having any respect for the fans that are genuinely worried about her or other Camren shippers, like myself for example, who never bothered her.

Once again she made fun of a ship that helps and matters to a lot of people. 

Once again, she’s not thinking about the consequences of her words.

And to further illustrate my point, she also liked this tweet : 

There you go again, we’re the pervert CS who always hate on Lauren and imagine her having sex with Camila while we’re doing ourselves 🙄🙄🙄

Anyways, all of this hurt a lot of people - because Camren has a very deep meaning for many of us. So now people are pissed and sad because the artist we love, who is part of the community, who is supposed to represent us, is belittling us and making us feel guilty for just wanting to find comfort and representation in a ship.

anonymous asked:

Hello... wonder if there is any chance that you made another part of "did you steal this" story... pretty please?? That's so amazing... thank you so much for writing it... ^^ ^^ (you are amazing, you know that, don't you?)

Here you go, sweet Nonny. <3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3: 


“So you’re going to wear the vest,” Plagg drawled, watching Adrien button it up. “Just like that, ‘Hi, Marinette, I’m Chat Noir’, huh?”

Adrien paused, looking at his reflection in the mirror. “Are you saying I shouldn’t?”

“Do what you want, Kid.”

He frowned. “This seems a little unlike you. You usually don’t want anyone to know my secret.”

“What can I say? I think Bakery Girl is cute and you can trust her. Also those cheese danishes she gives you are amazing.”

“I think I can trust her too.” He turned to slump against the counter. “Ladybug might get mad at me though. I still don’t know if I’m making the right decision, but it’ll be such a relief to have someone know and Marinette is so awesome–”

“And cute and sweet and blah, blah, blah,” Plagg finished. “You don’t have to convince me, Kid. I’m on your side.”

He nodded. “Okay, here goes nothing.”

“I think you meant to say everything.”

Adrien blanched.

_________________________

He sought her out immediately, having put Nathalie and Gorilla on lookout duty. Her cheeks went pink as she held out a gift, not fully looking up at him yet. 

“You look beautiful, Mari,” Adrien said softly. “I knew you’d make an amazing dress, but this is beyond even what I could’ve imagined.”

He could see the moment the pieces fell into place in Marinette’s expression. She knew now. There was no going back. She looked at his face with wide eyes and then slowly down to the matching vest, inhaling sharply.

“Please don’t freak out,” he whispered, stepping closer. “I shouldn’t have done this so dramatically. I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

“I’m not freaking out,” she squeaked, eyes still too wide.

“Are you sure? Because you really look like you’re freaking out.”

She swallowed and glanced around at the mingling guests. “Chat?” she asked, almost inaudibly.

Adrien nodded, a nervous lopsided grin taking over his face. “Is that…is that okay?” When she didn’t answer, he looked around, spotting his father on the other side of the room. “Do you want to go somewhere we can talk for a minute?”

“Please.”

Adrien quickly led her out of the ballroom, dodging anyone who might be tempted to stop them, and down a quiet hallway. They settled on a bench, Adrien taking one of her hands in his. “Okay, so this wasn’t the best plan, I see that now. I probably should’ve just told you the other night, but…” he trailed off, frowning.

“I can’t decide if I’m flattered or upset,” she said, almost to herself.

“Please don’t be upset. I…I really like you, Marinette, and no one else knows this side of me and we have so much fun when I’m Chat and…and…and I guess I just thought it would be nice if you were my person who knows, but maybe that was selfish. You didn’t ask for this. I shouldn’t–”

Adrien’s words were cut off when Marinette pressed her lips to his cheek. “Sometimes you talk too much, Chaton.” His heart stuttered for a moment as she stood, offering him a hand. “I think I’d like a dance if you don’t mind, Kitty,” she said shyly. 

The wheels were turning slowly, gears cranking inside his brain. The puzzle pieces were all there but they weren’t quite fitting together somehow. “Chaton,” he echoed.

“I never really thought about it, but I guess I do have quite a few nicknames for you, don’t I? Chaton, Kitty, mon minou. It’s surprising I didn’t out myself sooner with how often we talk.” She titled her head to look at him. “Do I need to say it?”

He nodded, lips thinning. She pulled on his hand so he was standing with her. She opened her mouth and then snapped it shut, taking a deep breath. “This seemed easier in my head a second ago. Okay, I can do this.” She nodded to herself and then looked back at Adrien. “I’m Ladybug.”

“You’re Ladybug,” he parroted. 

“Is that okay? I know I should’ve probably told you when you started visiting as Chat so often, but then it had gone on so long that–”

Adrien kissed her then, one hand fumbling at her waist while they other slid to her cheek. It was a relatively short kiss, chaste and sweet and slightly awkward, but they both were out of breath when they parted. 

“Oh,” Marinette said, touching her lips.

“All I want to do right now is transform and run across Paris with you,” he said breathlessly. 

“You have a party full of people here to celebrate your birthday.”

“I don’t care.”

“Silly Kitty.”

He got a more secure hold on her waist. “I can’t believe you’ve been in front of me this whole time, my Lady.”

“Technically behind you,” she flushed as he pulled her closer. “Wow, um, this is changing really quickly, huh?”

Adrien paled, dropping his arms and stepping back. “Sorry. I…I think I got caught up and–”

“I don’t mind!” Marinette interjected quickly. “I mean, you can…we can…the kissing was….” Her shoulders slumped. “Why is banter so much easier in our masks?”

He ducked his head and glanced at her through his lashes. “So this is really okay?”

“This is perfect,” she smiled.

He beamed at her, offering his arm. “Then I think there was talk of a dance, Bugaboo.”


Prompt List

Buy Me a Coffee? <3

anonymous asked:

okay, i have a problem: i'm aromantic and i don't know how the fuck romantic love works, so idk how to write a romance without falling into the "romance is more important and better than friendship" bullshit. how is romantic love different from friendship? why do people fall in love? how does it feel? why do some people work well as friends and not as lovers? wtf i don't understand anything

Thanks so much for your question, darling!  Romantic love differs for everyone, so a few of the mods have come together to give you our opinions :)


What Defines Romantic Love?

Mod Joanna says:

Hi, love!  I appreciate this question, because it’s something I’ve been working out myself for a long time.  I’m demisexual, so I really don’t experience physical/romantic attraction to anyone until I’ve built a friendship with them.  That’s always made it difficult for me to separate romantic love from a strong friendship, because for me, they’re nearly one and the same.

But since romance is a big part of my writing (and has been for several years), I’ve learned much more about romantic love and how to separate it (fictionally and in reality) from platonic love.  In my experience, romantic love…

  • Functions, at its base, like a strong friendship.  The process of meeting a person, learning about them, becoming attached to them, desiring to spend time with them – these phases exist in all relationships. Falling in love seems to happen faster, though, because it’s accelerated by physical attraction.
  • Includes physical attraction.  Friends can be attracted to each other, but romantic, prolonged attraction grows and develops over time.  Affection tends to “blind” or warp one’s vision, so that even mundane traits or actions can become attractive.  Heres an LGF post on growing attraction!
  • Accelerates physical intimacy.  Romantic partners, after a certain amount of time together, have decreased physical boundaries between each other.  The safer two people feel around each other physically, the more affectionate and comfortable they become.  Often, couples start to think of each other as physical extensions of themselves (which is why some couples feel comfortable sharing drinks/gum/clothes etc.). This can be stronger for – but is not exclusive to – sexually active couples.
  • Fosters a deep, absolute affection for a person’s strengths, flaws, quirks, and humor.  It gives a desire to be closer to that person – to know them completely.  Romantic love is a long-term investment in someone’s hopes and dreams, and in helping them to achieve those dreams.  It’s a hope to see someone grow in good ways, to protect them from bad things, and to make them happy.
  • Inspires growth and self-love.  Feeling someone else’s affection and investment both spurs healthier life choices and alters one’s image of themselves.  People in healthy relationships are more likely to take better care of themselves, to be more ambitious and confident, and to be more content in hard times.

Ultimately, though, the biggest difference for me is the falling-in-love phase.  It’s much more rapid, and much less controllable than the beginning phase of a platonic friendship.  In contrast, the later phases of romance – facing differences and staying in love – are more trying than in extended friendship.  Being that intensely close to another person is a challenge as much as it is a pleasure.  Don’t forget that.


Mod Gen says:

Hey! When I saw this question I immediately had a few ideas, as I’m asexual
and demiromantic and relationships for me are primarily non-physical and
more about romance and friendship. For me, romance isn’t so different from
friendship – I’m in a relationship that also blurs the lines of being a QPR
(queer-platonic relationship). Our relationship started as a friendship and
slowly developed into more romantic feelings. In my opinion and experience,
relationships/romance that have a basis in friendship are usually more
successful/healthy. Usually, romantic partners are also friends, some more
so than others. For this reason, I would say friendship is equally, if not
more, important than romance in a lot of cases (in my humble opinion).
Showing that two characters who are in a romantic relationship are also
friends is very important. They should have some sort of chemistry, or
banter, they should support each other, etc. etc.

Okay, I’m about to get real sappy: for me, falling in love with someone is
beautiful. I can barely begin to put into words how much I care for my s/o,
how much I miss her when I’m not around, how I can almost feel a physical
ache when she’s not there, how much I want her to be happy. I know her like
I know myself (probably better, actually), and I just feel so calm when I’m
around her. She puts me at ease, and simply being with her can make me feel
so much better and improve my mood. We don’t even have to talk or interact.
My heart doesn’t flutter when I see her; it calms.


Mod Daenerys says:

Hey there! First off, I want to say that a strong, healthy romantic relationship should also be a great friendship. In my opinion, the best romantic relationships are built off of friendships - not to mention, in fiction it is very easy to fall into the controversial love-at-first sight trope, which it seems like you are trying to avoid. It is also my opinion that we tend to place more value on romantic relationships than we do on friendships, which are equally important, if not more important for some people.

I’m asexual, and biromantic, so relationships in my case are more focused on those friendship sort of aspects, whether romantic or platonic. As for falling in love, I think it comes down to having someone that you want to be deeply, deeply close to. You find yourself wanting to place their happiness above your own, you start thinking in terms of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’…that sort of thing. A romantic relationship seems to me to be about holding each other up, pushing each other to achieve your goals, while also giving them the space and freedom to be themselves. Falling in love with someone is to have them teach you something about yourself, about the world. There’s a certain closeness there that I think is different from friendships, and this can come through in very subtle ways.

In terms of why some people work better as friends than lovers, I think it comes down to that level of closeness. Romantic partners tend to make more collective decisions, they work towards goals together, they may eventually want to build a life together. Yet, we all have friends that we love very dearly, but we know that if we tried to take on a task like that together we would be at each other’s throats - either because we have different goals, we think differently, or we tackle problems differently, to the point that we piss each other off. There has to be a willingness to work through problems together, things that don’t always apply even in our closest friendships.


I hope some of this helps you to make the distinction between romantic and platonic love, and to really explore romantic love in your fiction :)  If you have any more questions, be sure to let us know!

- The Mods


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

anonymous asked:

Yesterday me and my mom were talking about if everyone viewed God as their "father." I mentioned to her that some refer to God as "She" or "They" , but she thinks that most people do that to be politically correct, and that because the Bible refers to God as the Father, it would be an offense to God to call God anything else. I personally love the idea of referring to God as "Them", but I don't think my mom would agree. Do you have any rebuttals/ways to introduce her to it?

Hi there! A lot of people respond similarly to how your mother did when they first are introduced to the notion that God might be called more than “Father,” more than “He.” Hopefully with time she’ll get it a little better. 

Here’s a passage from God’s Tapestry: Reading the Bible in a World of Religious Diversity about a not-dissimilar conversation between the author, W. Eugene March, and their mother (for the entire passage, see this google-books link):

‘ Some years ago I received an unexpected phone call from my mother. She was clearly agitated and thought I would share her concern, a theological concern. She was agitated about the language that had been used in fashioning a prayer to God in a study book that she and other women in her congregation were using.

…The issue was a prayer on which feminine metaphors were employed to describe God’s love for Israel. Wombs, labor pains, and nursing at nurturing breasts were used in a prayer to God. When Mom and her Bible study friends read this prayer, the explosion was not pleasant. And not surprisingly, an unofficial ‘denominational’ publication circulating widely in her congregation fanned the fire of my mother’s zeal to denounce perceived heresy.

It took me several minutes to get her calmed down enough for us to talk reasonably. When I did, I asked her to read the offending prayer to me. As she did, I recognized the clear influence of Isaiah. I said, “Hey, Mom, that language is straight out of the Bible.”
She said, “It is not!”
I said, “Yes it is!”
“Is not!”
“Is too.”

Finally, I asked her to get her Bible and we had a long-distance Bible study of some selected verses from the book of Isaiah:

For a long time I have held my peace,
I [God] have kept still and restrained myself;
now I will cry out like a woman in labor;
I will gasp and pant. (Isaiah 42:14)

Can a woman forget her nursing child,
or show no compassion for the child of her womb?
Even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you. (Isaiah 49:15)

Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her,
all you who love her;
rejoice with her in joy,
all you who mourn over her –
that you may nurse and be satisfied
from her consoling breast;
that you may drink deeply with delight
from her glorious bosom.
For thus says the [Holy One]:
I will extend prosperity to her like a river,
and the wealth of the nations like an overflowing stream;
and you shall nurse and be carried on her arm
and dandled on her knees.
As a mother comforts her child
so I will comfort you;
you shall be comforted in Jerusalem. (Isaiah 66:10-13)

After she had read those verses, there was a long pause, and then she said, “When did they put that in there?” “It’s been there all along,” I replied. “Well,” my dear mother continued in a somewhat subdued tone, “why didn’t anyone ever tell me?”

“Why didn’t anyone ever tell me?” That is one of the questions that prompted this book. There are so many misconceptions about what the Bible does and doesn’t say, so much ignorance among otherwise well-educated, capable people. In my experience, the people in the pews are often well ahead of the clergy when it comes to the matters that really count in the way we order our daily lives and structure the communities in which we live. Their attitudes are usually based on what they recognize from their own experience of life. But they need knowledge about the support the Bible can offer and encouragement and permission from their leaders. They often think that what they believe must be heretical or offbeat, since no one assures them otherwise. ’

[end passage]

God exists beyond human language; They will surely not be offended to be called by a variety of terms. God has been called mother and midwife and Woman Wisdom for millennia, in Hebrew scripture before Jesus was born as well as in the earliest of Christian communities.

So when it comes to the fear of causing offense over different words for God, whom are we scared about offending? God? or other humans?

Here’s a post that talks about why we might call God other things beyond “Our Father” (we can keep calling them our Father as well!)

Here’s another post with similar stuff, including links to Bible passages. Because the Bible certainly does call God father, but also mother, and midwife, and rock, and light, and so much more. Lots of gendered language, lots of abstract and non-anthropomorphic language. The more variety we use, the closer we may get to just how big God is.

Here’s a post arguing that God is a woman, God is nonbinary, God is trans. (This one might be a little bit beyond what your mother’s ready to embrace right now, so I’d save this one for her for much later or just enjoy it for yourself.)

And our whole God beyond Gender tag contains even more stuff! Good luck helping your mom explores this. God is so much vaster than our human minds can fathom, but starting to explore many ways of thinking of Them helps. 

anonymous asked:

i was just wondering if you ever feel drained or just don't have inspiration or motivation for art, and if so what do you do? I don't know whether to try to sort of force out little pieces or take breaks or what to do at all when it's all just taken out of me. it really bums me out ): you're like my idol so I thought I'd ask or see if you had any thoughts on getting a spark back on. hopefully this question made sense. thanks regardless and have a good day !

Ah man, good question! I think burn-out or artist’s block is something every artist inevitably struggles with. There are a lot of days when I feel totally devoid of inspiration and would rather lie face-down on the floor than work on art haha. I don’t have any foolproof way to drag myself out of it—in some instances, it just takes time—but there are a few things that I’ve found helpful.

It’s necessary to take breaks here and there; you can’t always force your brain to come up with a great idea through sheer will, unfortunately. But try to take constructive breaks that put your mind into a creative place; read a book, look at artwork that inspires you, watch a film and analyze the use of color/composition, etc. And be patient with yourself. If big, bright, fully-realized ideas aren’t coming to you, don’t stress yourself out over it! Try little things—they don’t have to be full pieces, they don’t have to be something you ever plan on showing anybody. Practice drawing a dog’s paw. See if you can design a character based off an object around the house. Little exercises like these help to build your confidence and range as an artist, and I’ll often find my practice ideas snowballing into much bigger, better concepts that turn into full pieces. Put some friendly pressure on yourself to try drawing a little something every day, but don’t feel like you have to make anything polished until you’re ready.

I’m still learning how to do this, myself, and I often don’t follow my own advice here, but I hope this is helpful somehow! I’m wishing you the best of luck ♥

falling for you (reddie)

summary: the winter formal is coming around, and everyone is scrambling to find dates. eddie is hoping that maybe the signs richie’s been giving him means that richie will ask him, but is disappointed when he learns that richie has accepted another date.

pairing: reddie

word count: 2.9k

warnings: none

a/n: this is my first reddie writing and one shot (it’s fuckin’ long im sorry, i probs should’ve broke it up in parts), so i hope it’s not too horrible. i haven’t read the book yet, only seen the movie/tv series, so i don’t know all of the nuances yet! i’ll do my best <3 feedback and comments/likes are appreciated and welcomed! oh also. the losers are around 16/17, taking place in modern times. some things might be different but i hope you welcome it

OH. song of the one shot is fallingforyou by the 1975. i listened to it while writing so maybe i’ll get you in the right mood

“gaaaay!” the losers looked over towards the end of their cafeteria table, not one of them surprised to see the person behind the call was none other than richie tozier.

despite richie being the only one to not have the same lunch period as them, he still managed to get out of history to come and bother the gang.

“beep. beep. richie.” stan pronounced each word with a hard pause, a slight glare finding his features as he gripped his boyfriend, bill’s, hand tighter.

“i’m just joking around. don’t get your damn panties in a twist, staniel..” the trashmouth grinned, taking a seat in the spot that he normally sat in - right next to eddie. “besides, everyone knows i ship stenbrough so hard.” a lanky arm was tossed around eddie’s shoulders, one which he shrugged off just as quickly in protest of his behavior.

everyone was used to richie’s antics, and ignored them for the most part. though, that hardly ever stopped tozier from continuing them. “mike, have you found a date to the winter formal yet?” beverly questioned across the table, leaning into ben’s side as his eyes glossed over homework reading instead of focusing on the lunch in front of him.

ahh. winter formal. in a small town like derry, maine, a school dance was something highly anticipated. buzz generally began weeks before.

“i’m stuck between rosie and taylor. you guys think they’d be down for a threeway date?”

as it was now, bill and stan, and ben and bev were supppsed to be attending the dance as couples, respectively. the only three without dates was richie, eddie, and mike.

the dance was only a week out, and eddie found himself shifting uncomfortably at the talk of the dance. he wasn’t sure that he would attend, but a huge part of him was hoping that he would be forced to go if a certain someone asked him to be their date.

“sure they would! who wouldn’t want some mclovin from you, mike? be careful, though. having two love interests can get preeeetty messy. eds and his mom would know.”

a frown crossed eddie’s face as he shoved richie’s shoulder gently. “beep beep richie! and don’t call me that! y’know i hate it when you call me that.” the frown on eddie’s face didn’t quite match the now hammering of his heart after registering that richie had identified him as a love interest. maybe eddie was reading too much into his joking. maybe richie’s increased flirting and touches was just him trying to be more annoying than usual.

“are you and eddie p-planning on g-g-going to the dance?” bill questioned, shooting a knowing look in both richie and eddie’s direction, causing eddie’s cheeks to lightly flush a pink while averting his gaze down onto his untouched food.

richie turned his attention on eddie, a small smile finding his lips as he stared at the pretty, small, teenage boy. it had taken him a few days to decide whether he wanted to go big with his formal date invitation to eddie or not.

it would have been his first time asking eddie out.

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anonymous asked:

Can I have a scenario where Todorokis having a huge metal breakdown over the pressure of his father and his s/o is trying to calm him down? Bonus points if the s/o had a rough childhood too.

The thing about insecurity is that you can’t control it, and as many times as Todoroki has tried to manipulate the feelings inside of him, they never seem to go away. He wishes they would be as easy to handle as his quirk, but the mind was more powerful than the body, and even if he was strong, the self doubt in his mind had manifested.

He couldn’t let anyone find him like this. Just twenty feet away in the living room, twenty people sat. Twenty people who thought he was strong; seen him be strong. If anyone, even his own girlfriend, were to find him huddled up behind his bed with a face soaked with tears, he didn’t know how he would handle it. He was normally composed with these things, silently rage about them inside while keeping a straight face.Although today, today was just too much. Someone mentioned his father in class, he didn’t remember, maybe Mineta or Kaminari, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. The only people who realized that he was about to blow were All Might, Midoriya and __. They were keeping their distance, and although he was glad those who knew about his struggle were giving him his space, all he really wanted right now was a hug. The room was cold and the involuntary frost creeping up his right leg made him colder. He was a sobbing, heaving, shivering mess on the floor, and he couldn’t stand it.

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anonymous asked:

Omfg new cool FFXV writing blog yaaay <3 How about the boyband crushing hard on a female friend but they don't want to ruin the friendship. Or appear to be that guy who is in it for the booty. So they accidentally fess up in a normal conversation and she's stunned. Does she reject them or agree to take it slow? Up to you love <3

Okay so this request got me so excited that I think I’m going to do both outcomes?? like what I’m putting here is her accepting their feelings, but I totally plan to break these boys’ hearts in a separate post. I can’t help it. I gotta do both

Thanks for the wonderful request, anon! Enjoy some nervous chocobros!

(looooong post, guys. strap in)

Noctis:

He didn’t mean to tell you.

He was content with his feelings remaining a secret. He was happy with simply being in your presence, even if you were oblivious to the way his heart raced any time that you were near. If it meant that he could stay with you for a little while longer, he would be just friends for as long as possible.

Then he went and screwed it up, throwing a wrench in his plans with a few simple words.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

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anonymous asked:

Speaking of late video discussion, am I the only one who feels like the fans are partly to blame for his depression? I don't mean to be an asshole, but between the chat in all the past YouNow streams & ALL THE PHANFICS. MY GOD, the fics...

Alright, let’s talk about this. I came pretty close to deleting it before I realized that this was probably a really good time for a nice discussion.

I’m not all that interested in trying to over analyze Dan. Often, I write him as depressed in my fics because I am depressed, and I associate myself with Dan a lot. He’s always, in my opinion, shown faucets of depressive thoughts, and even if he didn’t have depression itself, I always saw Dan as very self-deprecating as more than just a joke and facade he put on. It’s been clear from the start of Dan’s youtube career that he has had some kind of personal issues, and it can be argued, from Dan saying he had depression for a long time that he didn’t believe he needed help dealing with, that Dan probably had depression when and before he started Youtube. It’s not entirely a joke when people write Dan as being depressed before meeting Phil, as Dan himself has been seen to say that Phil saved him. 

Now. Considering the facts, all one really has to do is look at Dan’s past behavior (and far be me from being a behavior analyist) it’s clear he’s always been really insecure and needy for attention. As someone who has been personally struggling with depression since I was 10 years old, I can tell you right here and now that my first outward sign of my depression was a constant need for attention and validation, and a severely low self esteem. Dan displayed similar signs in his early youtube career, when fans began screenshotting his life. 

From this alone, it’s clear that Dan had depression from underlying issues long before youtube. Every person has depression for a different reason, so for all we know, Dan’s depression was unreleated to much other than the bullying he dealt with as a child, and his own brain now providing the right chemicals for him to deal with his emotions in a healthy way etc etc… I’m not an expert on depression in anyway, I’m just trying to articulate that the depression came before youtube, and largely was a result of things before youtube, if not his own brain beating him up the way many who suffer with depression feel their brain beats them up. 

Regarding your comment. I wouldn’t say the fans of youtube are partly to blame for Dan’s depression. No, his depression came long before his youtube fame. Would I say that the fans and their actions/attitude may have been a stressor? Sure. The constant need to keep up a schedule of videos would plague anyone with depression, as working up the energy to stick to any schedule can often be the most ridiculous and difficult thing in the world. The comments that Dan didn’t upload often enough, sure they excited the parts of his brain calling him a failure that likely came with his depression (because don’t forget, depression likes to throw negative thoughts at you any chance it gets), but in no way would I say it’s the phandom’s fault that Dan had depression. 

If we were to take a wild leap at what might have been a huge issue for Dan, I would guess that his depression might have stemmed from homophobia and bullying that he faced in school. We saw in his high school video that a bully mercilessly picked on him and then turned around and wanted to have a sexual relationship with him. It seems plausible that Dan would be dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia, which, you bet, would be a massive trigger for his depression. 

Due to this, can you imagine how he felt when suddenly people were raving at him in 2011 and 2012 that he was gay and had a boyfriend in his best friend, who was only doing his best to keep Dan held together when he refused to get help from a therapist for his depression? Yeah, I’d say it would make sense he flipped out on the fans, but again, this does not mean that the fans are partially to blame for Dan’s depression

I honestly find it deplorable that anyone would dare to suggest that Dan’s depression boils down to his internet fame. As someone who also has depression, if a classmate so much as moves seats from me after one discussion in class, I hate myself because surely that classmate moved because they hate me, and suddenly, my depression makes me agitated and I’m mean to that person for no reason because I’m convinced they hate me.

Does that mean that person is partially at fault for my depression? No, it just means they happen to be human and doing normal things, but my brain reacted badly. 

Dan is a internet celebrity. He likely always knew he was one, and wanted it, when he started youtube, at least on some level. He knew what he was getting into, and perhaps he didn’t know how to handle his stressors and depression triggers, but that still doesn’t negate that he was surely aware that his fans were only human, and only behaving as humans will on the internet. That all said, I don’t think the fans in anyway are a reason that Dan was depressed.

Also can I just add, Dan reads phanfiction for fun? He once stated, in an old post on facebook I believe, that he had currently read every phanfiction posted in 2009. Do you really think anything can faze that boy? I mean really.

So earlier today I got rather pissed off when some rude anon who has probably never made a GIF in their lives decided to attack my friend (and one of the best GIFmakers I know) for no reason telling them not to talk about GIFmaking like it’s a big deal since it’s just taking clips from existing video. I was hoping to forget about this, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how many non-GIFmakers really do think that’s all GIFmaking is (including myself before I started making GIFs to some extent). Luckily, most people aren’t that rude about it and know not to insult content creators over a topic they actually don’t know much about…but I still feel the need to discuss some of the often lengthy effort that goes into making medium to high quality GIFs.

As a disclaimer, I’m NOT trying to be elitist and I honestly don’t consider myself one of the top tier GIFmakers. I also don’t think that GIFmakers HAVE to put in a lot of effort to alter GIFs from the original video frames if they don’t want to. It’s just a hobby where we try to capture/highlight cool moments using a severely limited and dying file format lol…so it’s really up to the individual how much they wanna put into it. However, the truth of the matter is that many GIF and graphics makers that contribute greatly to numerous fandoms DO put in a significant amount of effort to make their GIFs look different from and better than the original video.

EXAMPLES OF MY GIFS BEFORE / AFTER FILTERS & COLORING

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anonymous asked:

honestly I think you make pwyll out to be a better dude than he is like... the text indicates that he doesn't sleep with annwfn's wife out of respect for him and not due to any respect for her or consent or whatever, like it's more "oh hey I can't dishonour this awesome dude" which is why when this is revealed he's like "wow pwyll must be super loyal to me" instead of "wow pwyll is an excellent respecter of women". if that makes sense? like I'm not objecting I just don't think he deserves it

(cont’d) shit in my last ask I got arawn’s name wrong ughhhhhhh I always get them muddled / back to front. ANYWAY basically I think your interpretation gives pwyll too much credit and he doesn’t entirely merit it  

Hello!! You make two very good points here. The first point is that ‘Arawn’ and ‘Annwfn’ are ridiculously easy to mix up - I had to do a Ctrl+F and fix all the times I did that myself in the retelling, so you’re not alone on that front. The second point is that yes, in the Mabinogion text, Pwyll’s reasoning for ‘sleeping chastely next to’ Arawn’s wife instead of using his disguise to get some matrimonial action (remember, Pwyll himself isn’t married, so it would be his first opportunity as a ‘married man’) isn’t out of a sense of respect for her consent, or any desire not to trick her into sleeping with him - it’s literally entirely because he wants to respect Arawn, who has treated him fairly and properly. You’re right!

However, I think I would probably have to disagree with you that I ‘made Pwyll out to be a better dude than he is’, and this is because I didn’t actually change Pwyll’s character at all, even though I did amend his reasoning. One very important part of Pwyll’s character in the Mabinogion, and something I tried to allude to multiple times (hence the running joke about his love of formal greetings), is his insistence on morality and etiquette. Pwyll’s character throughout the Mabinogion is honestly completely obsessed with etiquette and justice. It’ll come up in the next part of the retelling (spoiler alert!) but Pwyll is very often obsessively polite, often to his own detriment, but also to his credit.

Two good examples of this come from the Rhiannon episode of his narrative; in one instance, Pwyll is so keen to please a guest at his wedding to Rhiannon, in line with the Celtic / Medieval moral code of respecting guests as a host (it could represent the moral code of when the Mabinogion was set or written, or both) that he ends up accidentally promising his fiancee to another man. This is a pretty good example of how Pwyll’s insistence on doing the Right Thing, such as it was codified in the morality of his time, is integral to his character, even when it’s not necessarily the most convenient thing for him to do.

This does have its upsides; when Rhiannon is later accused of infanticide, Pwyll again falls back on the fact that, as prince of Dyfed, he is expected to have a legitimate heir, and he knows that Rhiannon is both noble and fertile (and also the love of his life), and so he doesn’t have her executed - a good thing, as it turns out, because Rhiannon was falsely accused. Again, Pwyll would be totally within his legal rights here, as the wronged husband and the prince, to have her put to death, but he doesn’t, because his own moral code won’t allow it. He chooses a punishment instead which will make Rhiannon repeatedly admit her crimes and suffer until she has atoned for them; he doesn’t let her off the hook, but he doesn’t kill her, either. Instead, a little like Arawn, he gives her a chance to redeem herself.

A lot of Pwyll’s actions, to us, might seem strange and amoral, i.e. not concerned with morality, but rather just the idiosyncracies of an obsessive man. This is because Pwyll isn’t adhering to a moral code that we now recognise. The episode at the wedding is probably the best example of this. Nowadays, if it’s our wedding, it’s generally expected that our wedding guests will want to make us happy on our big day; we want our guests to have a good time, but ultimately the day is about us, and we’re not going to go out of our way to make sure that, I don’t know, the brother of the bride’s best friend’s uncle has everything he wants. In Medieval Wales - and possibly also Celtic Wales - this wasn’t the case. Your responsibilities as a host extended far beyond what they do today, and as the host of an event - even your own wedding - you were morally responsible for welcoming your guests, keeping them comfortable, and respecting what they wanted. In turn, your guests would respect your authority in your space and behave according to proper moral codes, even if they hated your guts and you’d killed their cousin in a duel; the guest/host relationship was one where hostilities were supposed to be forgotten.

A very famous example of just how important this guest/host relationship was is the behaviour of the De Braose family in 1175. William de Braose, the Lord of Abergavenny (truly an illustrious title), had something of a grudge against several other Welsh princes and leaders. Subsequently, he invited them all over to his castle at Abergavenny, telling them that he wanted to gloss things over and start afresh, without any malice between them, at the end of the year, which, in Welsh tradition, was a recognised practice. The guests all dutifully turned up without their weapons, as was part of the unspoken guest/host contract, and De Braose promptly had them massacred. His reputation never recovered from this, not just because of the brutal nature of his act, but also because of how he had abused cultural codes of morality.

So, that tangent aside, it’s pretty clear that Pwyll’s morality is one of the key tenets of his character. All things considered, he’s a pretty good dude; he’s just good in a way that we don’t instantly recognise as good. When I was doing that retelling of his narrative, I decided that, for the reasons I’ve outlined above, it was important to get across his strict adherence to moral codes, and that the best way to do this would be to make his moral code recognisably, well, moral. Subsequently, I turned his refusal to sleep with Arawn’s wife into an issue of respect for her consent, as issues of consent are now deeply (and rightfully) embedded into our cultural idea of what is moral. I did something similar with Arawn’s wife, who, in the original text, accepts ‘Arawn’s’ wishes purely because she is his wife and doesn’t have the right to demand anything else; in my version, I made her respect Arawn’s decision out of a wish to maintain mutual consent. I also named her, albeit a bit jokily, because our modern idea of morality tends to say that ‘Arawn’s wife’ isn’t really a suitable name for a character who has such a big role to play in the narrative, just because she’s a woman.

This has been a very long-winded way of saying that I don’t think I did make Pwyll into a better dude than he actually is, or give him too much credit; I think I just transferred his credit into a form that we would now recognise, because one of the key reasons I like doing these retellings is to make them accessible to a modern audience, and I think that sometimes means bringing some of the character motivations up to date so that they’re more in keeping with what a modern reader would understand. Myth is constantly being reworked and changed to keep it relevant, and changing Pwyll’s reasoning for cockblocking himself is just my small contribution to that long held tradition.

Sources:

Boisvert, Raymond (2006) Personalism, Pluralism, and Guest-Host Ambiguity, The Pluralist, 1(1) 31-39

Chandler, Kirtsie (2002) Patriarchy and Power in Medieval Welsh Literature, Proceedings of the Harvard Celtic Colloquium, 22, 80-95

Holden, Brock (2001) King John, the Braoses, and the Celtic Fringe, 1207-1216, Albion: A Quarterly Journal Concerned with British Studies, 33(1) 1-23

Mandel, Jerome (1975) Proper Behavior in Chrétien’s Charrette: The Host-Guest Relationship, The French Review, 48(4) 683-689

Stacey, Robin (2002) Divorce, Medieval Welsh Style, Speculum, 77(4) 1107-1127

anonymous asked:

hello why do u think lena luthor has bpd (i don't disagree)

bpd is most often (not sure if it can be caused by genetic influences though i remember reading something about it?) caused by environmental influences in childhood such as neglect, abuse, loss, bullying - all of those can lead to someone developing bpd. for lena, from what we know about her past and from her relationship with her adopted mother and brother, she experienced neglect (both emotional and… physical? because she was adopted, regardless of the reason as a 4yo she was raised for a while in the foster system, even if she doesn’t remember much of it now, because she was too young, it could still leave long lasting effects). everything we know about her family life is that she never felt Good Enough to be a luthor, never felt loved by lillian, only ever felt cared about by lex who later turned his back on her (loss, possible emotional abuse by lillian)

so what we know about her past in canon (i’m not even talking headcanons just taking from what was on the show) is already enough to cause her to develop bpd. now what else makes me headcanon her with bpd?

one of the symptoms of bpd is impulsive and self destructive behaviour and despite not having much screentime so far we’ve seen lena putting her own life in danger multiple times

another symptom? fear of abandonment and intense and highly changeable moods, that’s what i saw watching the “be your own hero” scene from medusa. first she’s smiling and so happy to see kara and then she lashes out at her thinking kara will betray/abandon her, it can also be seen as splitting and black and white thinking (which are also symptoms of bpd)

it’s very likely that she has unstable sense of self (another bpd symptom) especially considering her complicated relationship with her adopted family and being a luthor

lastly, people with bpd often idealise others (that’s basically a direct result of black and white thinking) and from the way lena was talking about lex it seems to me that she was idealising him for a good portion of her life. people with bpd also usually have a “favourite person” which i think lex used to be and now it’s kara. favourite person is someone who is usually being idealised and/or imprinted on. it’s someone the emotions of a person with bpd most rely on, who they care about the most.

willow-free  asked:

I don't really have any prompts, but if you look up the Jamilton tag on @midnigtartist's blog, you might get a few ideas! Aimee is complete Jamilton trash, loves the heck outta them

I did just that! The prompt/feeling I got from that is “Jefferson actually likes kids and takes care of Philip for a day when Hamilton loses track of him, causing Hamilton’s entire view of Jefferson as a person to shift”

@midnigtartist Happy birthday! I was already writing this before I learned it was your birthday, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! You’re art is great! Also, I sent you an ask about this but severely underestimated the size of your inbox. If/when you see the anon that sounds suspiciously like this post, feel free to ignore it! 


As much as he’d like it to be the case, Thomas did not at first recognize the kid loitering around the office. He did however, recognize that the kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, if that- and was therefore too young to be standing around anywhere, never mind outside the ‘Washington and Associates’ law firm.

It wasn’t quite time to pack up, but Thomas figured this was more important. Plus, no one else was dealing with it, or even noticing. He saved his work, and stood up.

“Leaving early?” James poked his head up, at Thomas’ movement.

“There’s a kid hanging around outside, it’s distracting,” Thomas explained. James peeked out the window, furrowed his brows, and nodded.

“Don’t take too long,” James reminded, turning back to his work. Thomas rolled his eyes and nodded, even though he knew James’ attention was already back to his work.

The kid jumped when Thomas opened the door, immediately turning around and looking down as if he just happened to be standing there. It wasn’t very convincing.

“Hi,” Thomas pitched his voice, warmer and completely devoid of his usual sarcastic drawl. “You’ve been standing out here for a while, is there anything I can help you with?” Up close, the kid was even smaller. The parents had better be nearby, or Thomas would be having words.

“Uhh,” The kid’s head bobbed up, then straight down, his mass of curls hiding his face. Thomas felt his heart thaw, just a bit- the kid was just shy. Which was fair, given Thomas was a tall, mysterious stranger. Even adults tended to be intimidated. Thomas leaned down, dropping to the kid’s level.

“That’s okay,” Thomas tried to put the kid at ease. “Could you tell me where your parents are, so we can find them?”

“Umm,” The kid started again, but this time he brushed his hair behind an ear and glanced up to Thomas’ chin. “Mom’s at her home, I’m s'posed to be with Dad this week, and he’s s'posed to be here. I think.” He nervously glanced up at the building. “There’s only one Washington law place, right?”

Ah, a divorced kid. “Yes, as far as I’m aware, this is the only Washington law place,” Thomas didn’t want to correct the kid and possibly confuse him. Still, he couldn’t stop an amused smile at the term ‘law place’. “Can you tell me your Dad’s name?”

The kid froze, paling instantly. “U-uh, it’s my Dad, um…” He started shaking. Crap.

Thomas thought quickly. “It’s okay, it’s okay!” He smiled wide, waving his hand in what he hoped was more comforting than dismissive, though he used it in the latter sense far more often. “Could you tell me your name, instead?”

“Oh!”, the kid grinned. “My name’s Philip Hamilton! I’m 8 years old!” Thomas nearly flinched. There was only one Hamilton who worked at Washington’s, and there was no way this was a coincidence. He should have guessed- Hamilton’s divorce was well known in lawyer circles, and now that he was looking for it, the kid’s face bore some resemblance. Standing in front of Thomas was his biggest work rival’s son.

There wasn’t anything for it, though. Thomas was hardly going to just leave the kid out here. “Nice to meet you, Philip. I work with your Dad. My name’s Thomas Jefferson.”

Philip’s eyes lit up in recognition. Thomas had just enough time to worry about what exactly the kid was recognizing. “Jefferson? Dad mentions you all the time! He says you’re really distracting!”

Distracting, huh? Not 'evil’, not 'idiotic’; nor any of the other insults Hamilton would shout to his face? Not even 'bad man’, if he wanted to soften it to his kid? Thomas itched to ply Philip for answers, for what Hamilton really thought; but it was the middle of winter and now was not the time.

“How about we wait inside for your Dad, and you tell me what you’re doing out here?” Thomas spoke cautiously, not sure how Philip would react to being asked to go somewhere with a relative stranger.

Strangely though, Philip’s shyness went straight out the window after his introduction. “Oh! That’s because Dad promised me this time, for real promised, that he’d get off work on time and take me to see a movie! I wanted to make sure he really would, so I looked up 'Washington law’ on google and bussed here all by myself!” Thomas led the way to the building as Philip chattered, small hand immediately latching onto Thomas’ fingers.

“That’s very cool!” Thomas enthused, opening the door and immediately shooting a glare at every person who stared. “Now, your Dad’s out now, the boss sent him to the courthouse to drop something off, but we can wait for him, alright?”

Philip beamed. “Alright! This place looks even cooler than I thought!” He was so enthusiastic, that Thomas couldn’t help but smile back. Hamilton would still be getting an earful, being so unreliable that his 8 year old child felt the need to escape his babysitter and bus through the middle of town to check up on him. Hell, did he even have a babysitter?

Thomas’ work was left, forgotten on his desk. James would clean up for him, this was more important. “What do you say to meeting your Dad’s boss?” He needed to at least explain the situation, after all.

“Mr. Washington? Yeah! Dad says he’s too nosy, and Mom says he’s basically like my second grandpa, even though I’ve never met him before.”

Thomas couldn’t stop the chuckle if he tried. “Did he? You’ll have to tell me more, later.” He joked, but Philip nodded anyways. This was far better than finishing his work.

Alex was determined to keep his promise, for real this time. He was not staying late, and if possible, he would even be home early. Washington owed it to him, for all that free overtime.

Unfortunately, all the owing in the world meant nothing when Washington ordered him to take some important documents to the courthouse, a good half hour away, when the day was nearly over. Alex could never say no to a direct request like that, even if Washington probably would have relented if he explained his circumstances.

No, he could do this and still be out on time, if he drove straight to Philip’s school, instead of back to the firm, first. Alex did so, driving as fast as he reasonably could.

Only, when he did that, Philip had already left, instead of waiting for him. In fact, he had left for the washroom in the last hour of class, and never returned, according to the teacher. Alex barely spared the time to chew them out for not keeping a better headcount, and then he was running off to his car and to home.

Philip wasn’t at home either. Alex started panicking in earnest. He could be anywhere, but why would he? Philip was so excited about going to see the movie, he wouldn’t have just run off today of all days, would he? But he alternative- if Philip hadn’t purposefully run off himself- was far worse. Alex started by doing circles of the neighbourhood, then the local parks.

Alex was focused; so focused that his phone remained in his pocket, battery dead before he’d even realized Philip was missing.

It must have been hours later, the sun starting to set, when Alex finally gave up. He had panicked somewhere early down the line, and never quite stopped. His limbs were shaking. Alex had lost his son.

He didn’t want to even think about the phone call he would have to make to Eliza. But first, he’d check the house again, just in case. Alex wasn’t holding out much hope at this point.

Alex was just stressed enough to miss the strange car behind his in the driveway. He was not, however, too stressed to notice two people sitting in his living room.

“Hamilton, about time!” Jefferson waved his arms enthusiastically, though something sharp glinted in his eyes. Alex’s brain stuttered for a moment at the sight of his coworker/rival relaxing in his home, but then Philip was bounding into his arms.

“Dad! Where the heck where you? Mr. Jefferson’s called you like, a million times!”

“Wha- Philip, where have you been? You weren’t at school, the teachers told me you disappeared, you weren’t at home, I’ve been worried sick, looking for you!” Harsh, panicked words spilled from Alex’s mouth, even as he seized his son in a fierce hug. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Philip hugged back tight, voice suddenly subdued and guilty. “I just wanted to find you at work, so you’d actually go on time.”

Alex loosened his hug so that he could face Philip directly. “Wait, you what-?” Alex cut himself off, remembering the other person in the room. “Jefferson, why the fu-heck are you here?” Philip’s head poked up at Alex’s accusatory tone, brows furrowing in confusion.

“Nice save,” Jefferson smirked, always as irritating as possible. “Also, is that really the way you want to be speaking to the guy who’s been watching your kid all evening? When I could have been doing anything else with my time?”

There was no reason for Jefferson to be lying. In fact, that answer made the most sense, given that Jefferson had literally been in his home, watching Philip, when Alex got in there. Still though, this was Jefferson. Instinctive denial surged in his chest. “Excuse me-”

“I’m sorry!” Philip shouted again, lip trembling. He wasn’t looking at Alex though, instead facing Jefferson. “I didn’t mean to waste your day!”

Alex’s blood ran cold. That was exactly the opening one could never make to Jefferson- he could never hold back his infuriating sarcastic comments. He was going open his mouth and spout some negative bullshit that would make Philip cry, because Jefferson was an asshole who didn’t have any kids and probably hated them.

Jefferson did open his mouth, but his eyes were suddenly wide, with surprise and maybe guilt- something Alex had never seen him wear. He scrambled off the couch. “No no, I didn’t mean that, Philip! You’ve been great fun!” Jefferson assured, stepping over to crouch in front of Philip.

Philip looked up at him cautiously. Alex held his breath, completely taken aback. “Really?”, Philip whispered, and Alex could hear the tiny smile working its way into his voice.

“Of course!” Jefferson reached a hand over to ruffle his hair. “I got to read all your poems, and you got to hear all about the silly things your Dad does at work! It’s just that your Dad’s back now, so I should probable get going.” He gave Philip a wide grin, full of warmth and life.

Alex wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Jefferson with a smile like that. It did something to his stomach that he’d rather not analyze.

“No! You gotta stay for supper! We can’t do the movie anymore anyways, right Dad!” Philip bounced back, both emotionally and literally, on the balls of his feet.

Alex opened his mouth, searching for an excuse that wouldn’t upset Philip. Then, he glanced over to Jefferson. He was fidgeting, glancing away awkwardly. With a start, Alex realized he must have actually had fun. Somehow, Jefferson was actually really good with kids, if Philip’s excitement meant anything; and now he was standing there, in Alex’s house, looking more awkward and vulnerable than Alex had ever seen him.

“Yeah… yeah, he can stay. If he wants to.” Alex didn’t even want to guess what his face looked like right now. He wasn’t even sure what his feelings looked like right now. It was all a mess of exposed wires, his entire worldview turned on its head.

Jefferson flinched in surprise for a moment, eyes snapping to Alex. Then, he gauged Alex’s pure, undiluted confusion, and a smile slowly took his face, one that more closely resembled the teasing smirks Alex was used to. Now though, it seemed just a little less aggressive than Alex remembered.

“I suppose I can stay and tell your Dad all about how you skipped your last class, looked up his workplace online, and then bussed there all by yourself without telling anybody.” Jefferson shrugged, nonchalant.

“What! Mr. Jefferson, no!” Philip whined, even as he smiled broadly. “I’m gonna get grounded!”

Jefferson laughed. “Well, whose fault is that? You’re a little troublemaker!”

Philip spouted denials in between giggles. Alex felt his paradigm shift further off axis. “I guess I’ll get started,” Alex said, quiet and distant. He stood up and edged his way to the kitchen. Jefferson and Philip continued to chat in his hallway.

Somewhere between numb and completely unsure of himself, Alex turned the oven on and got out a frozen pizza. He took as much time as he could retrieving the round pan and opening the pizza box. Replaying in his mind was the smile Jefferson had made at Philip. His stomach flipped again.

“Hey,” Jefferson’s voice was calm and subdued, but made Alex jump a foot anyways. “I put the TV on for Philip.” He was right behind Alex, nearly crowding him into the counter. “I assume you want to know what’s been going on? No one’s been on the same page today.”

Alex swallowed. It wasn’t the first time Jefferson had crowded him, Alex had realized over time that it was more a matter of not knowing about personal space, rather than an active bid at intimidation. It was also overwhelming, especially now. “Uh,” Alex started, horrified at the squeak his voice made. “I guess not.”

Jefferson smirked- how could he not?- but relented, backing up a step. “It really wasn’t all that crazy. The kid showed up in the last hour of work, and no one else would do it, so I watched him. Tried to call your phone, I’m assuming it’s dead.” Alex dug into his pocket, pulling out a very dead phone. He paled. “No, it’s fine, it’s done.” Jefferson waved his hand dismissively. “I didn’t- I mean, it wasn’t awful.”

Alex paused at Jefferson’s stutter. His ears were pink. Adorable, Alex thought, then shook it from his mind. “Thank you,” he said instead.

“Uhhh,” Jefferson’s ears turned pinker. “No offense, but that sounds so weird coming from you.” Suddenly, he started laughing. “And I just said 'no offense’, which is even weirder!”

Alex snorted. Giggles stumbled their way between his lips, turning into chuckles, then full blown laughter. “Oh my God,” Alex wheezed, “This is so weird!”

Jefferson was howling right beside him. “I know, right?!”

Their laughs petered off, save for a quiet snicker from the distance. Both their heads whipped around- Philip peeked from the doorway. “Dad hasn’t laughed like that in ages,” He said knowingly. “You guys should hang out more. Hey, can Mr. Jefferson come with us to the movie, next time?”

Alex flushed, his mind stumbling to a stop, not sure if it was from the sheer audacity of the question, or how the idea of going out with Jefferson sounded too much like a date. His only saving grace was that it was probably the last thing Jefferson wanted, anyways. It didn’t matter that the sight of him being so nice to Philip did things to Alex’s heart.

“That sounds nice. If your Dad agrees.” Jefferson gave Philip an indulgent smile, then turned to Alex, question standing.  A quiet blush graced his cheekbones as well. He looked so much more attractive- cute, Alex’s brain supplied- when it was open like this. Usually, Jefferson’s appearance was the only attractive thing about him. Alex realized suddenly that he was gone- had been gone the moment Jefferson had revealed a side of himself that wasn’t pure opposition to everything Alex stood for.

“Alright,” Alex agreed. He needed to see where this was going. He was going to figure Jefferson out, or die trying.

anonymous asked:

Hi. i was wondering if you could give me some tips on commenting on writers fics? I've seen lots of posts saying that writers really like feedback and i want to leave good comments for them. but im kind of shy a lot and don't know how to review well.

Hello, anon! Thank you for asking me. However, I must admit that I myself am not good at reviewing fics, but I hopefully can give some advice on what I find authors typically look for.

  • Freak out. Authors genuinely don’t care if your comment is, “HJHGFBFFGF OH MY GOD DJGHJGGFJGHFXFG HOLY CRABCAKES FHFJHJGHHJS THAT WAS AMAZING FHHGFHGFXHGF.” So long as you are encouraging them and letting them know you enjoyed their fic, they will 100% be very happy. 
  • Let them know how their work made you feel. Did it make you smile? You laugh? Cry? Did it leave you feeling unsettled? Was it scary? Authors love to hear about the emotional impact it had on you. 
  • Quote a line or two that you loved. “I loved X, because X. It made me feel X.” or something along those lines. Even just quoting a line and then keysmashing lets an author know that it stood out to you and you especially enjoyed that part. 
  • Tell them you look forward to seeing more from them! If they’ve wrote something for a fandom you enjoy and you say something like this, they are more likely to provide more work for the fandom. 
  • Now, for a little more controversial: offer tips for improvements. Now, take this into account: not all fan authors want critique. If they don’t, just don’t provide it. A lot of fan authors just write for fun and aren’t really looking for serious critique. However, if an author would like critique and/or ways to improve, providing it proves very beneficial to them. Just make sure you know first. 

Rule of thumb: Just always be gracious and kind, giving advice, praise, and even critique with care and understanding. Do not flame. Do not be rude. Do not demand updates. Often times, being nice to an author and supporting them makes them motivated to put out more of their pieces for you to enjoy. If you really think about it, your comments = happy author. Happy author = more than likely more fan content for you to consume and enjoy. 

Anyway, I hope this was helpful. These are things I usually keep in mind when commenting on author’s fics. Thanks again for the question, anon! 

<3

What They Don't Tell You About Plants

So I don’t know about recently, but  I know a couple years ago when I started an aquatic garden in a fish tank, there was basically minimal help for growing them. Sure, some sites all gave the same advice, good beginner plants, and how to set up CO2 rigs, or it would be full of way too MUCH information, down to each individual plant, which isn’t helpful when you don’t know what you’re getting yet. But there are a lot of things that no resource ever told me, and instead I had to learn myself and from my very experienced uncle. So I thought I would give a little quick guide to things that you may not hear as often as you need to when thinking of aquarium plants.

1)      Some Aquatic plants aren’t aquatic. Bamboo, for instance, isn’t actually meant to be in full water all the time. It can survive for a while, sure, but a betta can “survive” in a bowl, too. A lot of other plants are sold as “aquatic” like mondo grass, when in fact they are drowning in the tank. If you’re shopping for plants, especially in a chain store, be sure to either know what you’re looking for, or take a smart phone with you and google the scientific name. The first Wikipedia page will usually say in the first paragraph if the plant is fully aquatic or not. A lot of beginners feel like failures because their plants died or sometimes “melted” and they don’t know what they did wrong, but in reality it’s because they tried growing a plant that wasn’t meant to be in a tank.

2)      Pruning is an art; and there are a lot of different ways to do it. Just because one person prunes their plants in-tank with cool tools doesn’t mean that’s the only way to do it. Plants will survive a little pull out and trim before putting them back in the tank ( I recommend this for tanks 10 and smaller, theres not much point making a mess in such a small tank when you can pull them out, trim them and return them). The most basic thing to remember when trimming is to do it how you like it—it’s your tank and as long as it doesn’t kill the plant, you have artistic license.

3)      Plants don’t have a really good sense of direction. If you see a plant with roots growing upward and in a huge tangle (sword plants, I’m looking at you) then there is no harm in trimming those off. If there is an excess of something, they can afford to lose a few to stay neat.

4)      You don’t have to trim all the damn time. Some holier-than-thou planter articles make it sound like pruning is this huge, all consuming thing. It can be, if you want it to. I do, because I enjoy it, and I like my plants more than my fish in all honesty. But you don’t have to. Trim when you need it, not on some air-tight schedule that can’t be defied. If you have a huge tank, trimming days will take a while. But if you trim right, you won’t have to do it once a week. Once a month is probably average, but more or less is fine.

5)      Don’t be afraid to be the Weed Wacker. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that they’re afraid of hurting their plants. I’m probably going to make a huge guide for pruning with pictures this week, but for now, let’s just generalize a few things: a) there are a few different kinds of plants, and each one grows differently, and therefore needs to be trimmed differently. In general, if something is brown, cut it off. It’s not doing the plant any favors, and your leafies will thank you for removing it. If you handle your plants for pruning, run your hands around the plant gently—if something pops loose, chances are it needed to come off. If you are unsure whether or not to pull a leaf off, give it a gentle tug. If it comes loose easily, it needed to be removed. If something is brown at the base, even if the leaf is green, it’s most likely dead, and fine to remove. B) another thing that I get a lot of people worried about is the roots. If it is say, a sword plant, or other plant that is all root, trim those bitches. I mean it, these things take 2 weeks and they look like medusa. They don’t need all of them, and they grow more pretty damn fast. I had a 3 inch plant take over half my 5.5 gal in 2 weeks in the roots, and you don’t notice until you pull it up. They aggressive little boogers and they will survive a trim. C) if you have a smaller tank, prune the BIG leaves. Not all of them, obviously, but when a plant is too big, snip the big boys. That way the smaller ones have time to grow, and you won’t have to prune as often. D) the more you chop, the longer you can go without pruning again. Now, don’t go overboard, leave the poor plant enough to regroup and stay alive, but you can probably trim them down pretty small if you want to.

6)      You don’t need CO2. For most plants, just having a few fish in with them is good enough. You do NOT have to spend hundreds of dollars on a system if you don’t want to. Do not let pet stores talk you into it, either. Unless you have a huge, very advanced tank, or a very large plant-only tank, chances are you don’t need one. But if you ever do decide to do one, be prepared to by the expensive stuff—just like filters and heaters, it’s better to just buy the better quality ones, even if it means a little less in your wallet. Cheap CO2 systems are just not worth the headache and they need a lot of replacing. It’s better to get the good stuff to start with.

7)      Get what YOU WANT. Now, this sounds obvious, but I feel like I need to say it anyway. Just like fish and other pets, a lot of people ask “what should I get for my first plant?” There’s nothing wrong with advice, obviously. A lot of opinions make for a lot of knowledge and help you make educated decisions. But do not let someone else say “These three plants are the only ones you can have as a beginner.” It’s just not true. Just like fish and snakes and other pets, if you don’t actually want the thing, DON’T GET IT JUST BECAUSE IT IS A “BEGGINER”.  You’ll regret it eventually if you do. Get what you want—if it’s a little more advanced, are you willing to put a little more effort into its care because it’s what you really want? If so, just get it. If you don’t like the way a plant looks, don’t get it anyway. Be self-aware about what you can or cannot handle, but in the end, it’s all your choice.

8)      Scientific names make things a lot easier. There are a lot of different names for a lot of different plants. It helps keep them from getting confused.

I hope this helps some of you who are stressing about your leaf-babies J Feel free to message me if you have any other questions or concerns, I’ll do my best to help. Plants are my babies, and I want everyone to be successful with their own.

6

Fat girl can’t do what? Revisited.

For this lovely FatAttack 2015 I’ve decided to revisit this often trolled image along side some more recent shots. It’s funny how so many people think being bigger will limit your abilities to dance or your very ability to be flexible. What isn’t funny is how doing the things I do are often lauded in people who happen to be thin, but declared disgusting and unhealthy when I do them. These are the same people who are so blinded by their fat phobia that they see things like this, but still declare that I’m so fat I can’t walk across a room without getting winded or even wipe my own ass. I can literally lift my leg above my head, but my ass is so far out in orbit I can’t possibly reach it. They read that I had heart issues in the past and declare that it’s atherosclerosis. Too bad that’s not what happened. (It was Dysautonomia, if anyone actually cares. Structurally my heart is perfect and my arteries clear. Imagine that.) They tell me I’m diabetic. Nope, A1C under 5 every time. Blood pressure? 120′s/80′s. If it’s not running low. (thanks again, Dysautonomia). It’s always the same things over and over and over again. They’d love it if I fit into their narrow minded narratives, but I don’t. Yes I’ve lost weight, but since I’m still fat I’m still killing myself and the message I’m attempting to spread is unhealthy. Of course. All this to “encourage health” I’m sure, right?  

What they really mean is ‘Stop being so visible.’

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time for fools like that. They can sit in the dark attempting to make others as miserable as they are, I will still dance. I encourage you to do the same. It doesn’t have to be dance, it be can anything that makes you happy. Shine. Share it with others. Remember that representation matters, and that you have the power to represent. I never in a million years imagined that I might be the one to encourage and inspire others to get out there, love themselves and do the things that make them happy. It’s a point of pride for me, and an immense source of joy as well. Try it. See how good it feels when you not only get out there, but put yourself out there for others to see. There may be haters, but they are so easily drowned out by the love and support of others who want to see you succeed. Your body is just that- you body. Fat is not evil, greedy, ugly, slow, lazy or any other thing it’s become associated with, no matter how many people try to tell you otherwise. Shut them out. Find the joy in loving yourself. Dance in any and every way possible. And don’t forget to fly.

anonymous asked:

this is so stupid why would a fucking monster like cute shit? why would a monster have that avatar? I mean you're not fucking scary at all. I don't even get it like why are you like this?

Please do tell me, with your immense expertise, what exactly a monster would like. Now keep in mind, any answer you give is wrong, because you are human and your testimony that you know the first thing about me or my species is ridiculous. Because you’re afraid of monsters, they should be spooky? So in love with their image that they must skulk around in cloaks and hiss? Because you say so? You feel entitled to backward engineer me?

Let me give you a little perspective, more specifics for your reconstruction of what a monster should enjoy.

In the year 1665, the plague hit London for the worst and final time. It killed about 100,000 people. I personally helped bury about 4,000 of them, by my estimation, in single graves and pits. 4,000 corpses. But what does that look like? Let’s put some imagery to it. The average body is five feet long by about two feet wide. That gives us total square footage of 10. 10 x 4,000 = 40,000 square feet. If we lay each body down, end to end, side by side, we have about one square acre of death, puss, rot, maggots, filth. But perhaps you’re not acquainted with acreage. Perhaps you need a better image. A football field is 1.3 acres. A football field of corpses in less than a few months. And those are just the ones I helped bury, out of necessity, because the bodies were piled in the streets and someone had to do it.

And you may say to yourself, “But you’re a fucking monster. Why would you care? It would be like looking at a pile of dead pigeons.”

Pigeons don’t speak. They don’t slowly and vulnerably unveil their psychology to you. They don’t have aspirations and hopes. They don’t pray in whispers and sobs. They don’t give away their children to fate. They don’t write poetry or make art. They don’t act with generosity toward you at their own personal expense with grave contemplation of what it might mean to themselves. They don’t enlist you in their schemes, the lives of their offspring. They don’t welcome you into their homes. Pigeons don’t look like men. Pigeons aren’t shaped like me. I can also mourn pigeons. I can mourn animals. I can mourn anything, but I’ll be damned if anyone tells me that because I am a monster, I am barred from mourning my friends, my countrymen, my fellow workers, my teachers. 

You don’t have that right.

The very next year, I watched the city I built with my two hands go up in a fire the likes of which you cannot imagine. I saw people trapped in walls of flames, screaming to get free and clawing at each other like desperate rodents. That’s two years. And a few years before that? The Civil War. Roadside executions. heads over every gate house.

In the length of your lifespan, I watched the violent or untimely ends of thousands upon thousands, destruction, calamity, terror and sadness.

So tell me again why I’m not allowed to find rounded edges and simplistic features charming. Tell me why I’m not allowed to wallow in the harmony of rainbows and adore the sound of a child’s voice who cannot yet pronounce words properly. Tell me why I am not allowed to appreciate innocence, purity, or affection that knows no limits or places no boundaries on itself. Tell me why I’m forbidden to admire perfectly structured miniature things, that came to be without any tinkering, and defy one to find flaw? Why am I not permitted to seek joy, or naïveté, or crayons, or transforming dinosaur toys, or fat, legless animal dolls like sausages with eyes? Why am I not allowed to seek out friendship or affection?

Tell me that, my wise, well-informed, cryptozoologist.

You think I don’t know what I am? That I am dangerous? That even as I appreciate these things I’m not also tempting humans to see me as more like themselves? 

Imagine what kind of mind I have, to stand over that football field of corpses, those people, those children and mothers I came to enjoy, to help, to befriend…what kind of mind must I have to stand over them in grief and realize even as I stand there that it makes me hungry. Imagine what it takes for me to seek happiness and yet know that even as I do so, I must never reach it, because that is the moment I fail. Just imagine that. 

And then tell me why I am not allowed to be both gentle and grotesque.

You think you know so much. People come here and expect to see me brood, but when I do, they scoff and say “Well, isn’t that a fine carbon copy of an emo vampire story.” I am given no quarter to feel anything with which you do not agree. And now you come to me and explicitly forbid me from amusing myself in this life?

I don’t often say things like this, but kindly “go fuck yourself”.