i don't know why this turned out really shit :(

Someone: Wow, you’re vegan? I never would have guessed haha

Me: Yeah I know turns out I’m just really not into blatant animal abuse haha who would’ve guessed

A typical day for Troll Jasper and Lapis under the sea...
  • Jasper: Morning. You gonna let me go today.
  • Lapis: NO.
  • Jasper: *rubs hands together* Okay, another day of pissing you off then. I can do that.
  • Lapis: *sigh*
  • TWO HOURS LATER
  • Jasper: I spy... With my little eye... Somethiiiiiing covered with water.
  • Lapis: Gee, I dunno, we're in the ocean so is the answer EVERYTHING?
  • Jasper: Yes. Okay, harder one... I spyyyy with my little eye...
  • Lapis: How do you even KNOW this game, IT ORIGINATED ON THIS PLANET!
  • Jasper: Doesn't matter. I spy with my little eye... Aaaaaaa traitor.
  • Lapis: *sigh* Me?
  • Jasper: Yep. Okay, harder. I spyyyyyyy... Someone who cares about you.
  • Lapis: ... You?
  • Jasper: Pffft, what are YOU smoking?... Okay, give up? No one. The answer is no one.
  • Lapis: ...
  • Jasper: See? It's funny because you're gonna be down here the rest of your life and nobody really gives a shit...
  • Lapis: *sigh*
  • TWO HOURS LATER
  • Jasper: So see, the thing about the third game is that you THINK she's a defector the whole time...
  • Lapis: I don't care.
  • Jasper: But it turns out she was a good guy the whole time. But you STILL have to kill her, and that's why you eventually become a bad guy.
  • Lapis: Still don't care.
  • Jasper: And then in Peacewalker...
  • Lapis: I have NEVER cared less about a topic then I do right now, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT VIDEO GAMES ON EARTH!
  • Jasper: Know a Gem in intel who owes me a favor, pushes along some... Less than necessary data packets sometimes... Okay, so then there's AC!D and that's a whole other mess of bullshit right there--
  • Lapis: UGH!
  • TWO HOURS LATER
  • Jasper: Okay so would you wiiiiiith.... The permafusion?
  • Lapis: Not playing this game.
  • Jasper: Yeah, I wouldn't either. Okay how abooooooouuuuut... Yellow Diamond?
  • Lapis: Not playing.
  • Jasper: Oh, I would. I would in a second. What abouuuuuuttt.... Peridot?
  • Lapis: This is the dumbest-- oh... Well, maybe.
  • Jasper: Haha, your taste sucks.
9

ODIN-as-ONE EYE in Valhalla Rising (2009) as given form by Mads Mikkelsen

Just in case people didn’t believe me that the Terrible One is in this film, right down to the semiotics, I took a few bloody screenshots.

I have added some facetious but mostly true  (to the personality/vibe I personally get from the Old Man) captions which I shall reproduce here.

1. Yes. By all means fetter me. I can wait.

2. Right. That’s that built. Tricky to do. Give it a moment to check what I’ve set up turns out OK.

3. I have one eye and I can still see more than you.

4. You’re dead. You just don’t know it yet. Shit just Became Fundamentally Real aka I made my move half an hour ago, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

5. Why yes, my good eye does blaze like the sun. So does the other one, and that’s down a well. Don’t worry about it - it’s all fine.

6. You really have no idea who I am and what I’m capable of, do you? akathe I know something you don’t know and I’m not going to say a word smile/smirk/look.

7. Built the worlds. Now going to return to the Ancestral Sea of Soul because I died and it didn’t bother me and I learnt what I needed to.

8.  I am indeed your Soul-stirrer, dweller in the Ancestral Dreaming Sea.aka You can’t get rid of me because I’m in your blood and bone and breath. Death is only the beginning.

9.  I am also part of the Mountain which reaches beyond the sky. Sky or Sea, I am at home in both. I am at home nowhere, and everywhere you look.

Note: I only just realised there were nine screenshots. I took about 13. The nine is not deliberate but make of that what you will!

Bangtan Camping
  • Rapmon: ok Yoongi where do we go now
  • Yoongi: uh left idk
  • Rapmon: what do you mean "idk" are we lost
  • Yoongi: you're the one with the map
  • Rapmon: what ma- YOONGI THESE ARE MY MIXTAPE LYRICS IVE BEEN READING IT FOR THE PAST FIFTEEN MINUTES
  • Yoongi: damn well your raps are so bad they made us lost this is your fault Namjoon
  • Jin: hey you hip hop worshipping idiots you better get me out of here I need a place with at least a toilet
  • V: it's ok Jin you can poo in the river like the elegant deers do
  • Jin: do I look like fucking Bambi to you
  • V:
  • Jin: don't answer that
  • JHope: idk about you guys I like nature the nature the forest wind feels great against my mane
  • Rapmon: whatever lets just set up camp here or whatever we'll figure this out tomorrow
  • Suga: I'll get the fire going the rest of you hoes can do everything else
  • Jimin: YEAH CAMPFIRES C-A-M-P F-I-R-E SONG
  • Suga: nae domein dopeman.com maikeuro yeoreot honnaetji eonhaengeun jokswae gateo nae joemyeongeun hyeoro pokhaeng sinangsimi gadeukhan deoge neon taesaengbuteo geomna motae
  • JHope: Yoongi what the fuck are you doing
  • Suga: I'm rapping duh it'll infire the branches to burn and make a fire
  • Jin: oh my god you all are a bunch of idiots give me the lighter Jimin
  • Suga: you know what fine take the easy way out whatever
  • V: OOOHHH campfire let's tell ghost stories
  • JHope: on a full moon I turn into a horse
  • V: wow that's actually terrifying please don't share a tent with me tonight
  • Jungkook: that's baby shit lemme tell you old farts a real scary story
  • Jungkook: once there was a really good lookin boy that was good at everything but he was stalked by a weird short body builder the end
  • Jimin: Kookie why
  • Rapmon: hey guys I caught some fish for y'all to eat I'll cook it for you
  • Rapmon: *starts forest fire
How Coda's last minutes went (kinda)
  • Rick: ♫ Making my way to enemy's territory, walking fast, faces pass and we're ooc ♫
  • Dawn: What's up, asshole?
  • Rick: What's up, bitch?
  • Dawn: I asked you first!
  • Rick: I asked you second!
  • Daryl: We're here to save you, Beth!!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤
  • Beth: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Whatevs! I suddenly don't give a shit about any of you.
  • Carol: *in a wheelchair* I'm so weak... I just woke up from a coma and .... JUST KIDDING MOTHERFUCKERS *stands up from chair and does triple backflip* Guess who had internal bleeding but is fine as a fiddle today! RAMBO CAROL BITCHES!!! *rejoins the group*
  • Beth: Oh well... Here I come too... I'm excited ... Not really... don't know why *also joins group* *Daryl pats her in the back* EEW! DON'T TOUCH ME!
  • Daryl: 💔💔💔
  • Rick: Later, tater! *everyone turns around and heads out*
  • Dawn: Wait bitches lmao I haven't been annoying enough yet. I want Noah!
  • Rick: *snaps finger* No she didn't!!!!
  • Beth: ♫ Mmmm whatcha say ♫
  • Noah: It's ok. I'm the only sane person in this exchange. I'm outtie! *joins Dawn*
  • Beth: *runs to Noah and embraces him* I barely know you but apparently you're the only person I care about right now!!!
  • Dawn: Lmao I knew you'd come back!
  • Beth: Hell, noooooooo!
  • Dawn: Hell yeeeeeeeah!
  • Beth: Shut your piehole or I'mma stab you non-fatally in the shoulder.
  • Dawn: Bring it on biaaaatch!
  • Beth: YOLO!!!!!! *stabs Dawn in the shoulder*
  • Dawn: *accidentally points gun to Beth's stomach and shoots because her finger has a mind of its own but her bullet is possessed by Satan so it changes trajectory and hits Beth's head*
  • Noah: OMFG!!!
  • Sasha: :-O well that escalated quickly...
  • Tyreese: WTF? hOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN?
  • Rick: :'(
  • Daryl: ಥ_ಥ *kills dawn*
  • Some guy we don't care about: Let's stop this nonsense! Dawn was the main antagonist this season and she's already dead!
  • Rick: *still crying* but... but... but...how come they get to kill people and I don't????? I LIKE TO KILL PEOPLE! STAB STAB DIE DIE!
  • *everyone cries a lot, specially Daryl while Gimple laughs in the background (they forgot to edit it)* The end
jesus in the desert
  • jesus: oh my dad i'm so hungry why am i out in the desert
  • satan: *pops out of nowhere* hey hey hey if you're really the son of god turn these stones into bread bc that's pretty fuckin cool
  • jesus: what fuck no i feed off the word of god
  • satan: alright how about if you worship me then all of this land could be yours
  • jesus: no dude fuck off i only worship my dad
  • satan: i'll trade you a giratina
  • jesus: oh shit you have one??? ehhhhh i don't know,,,
  • god: *a thunderstorm forms and god is zapped next to jesus* okay son but did satan catch an arceus
  • jesus: h oLY SHIT I WANT AN ARCEUS
  • satan: goD DAMN IT I WANT ONE TOO CAN I BE AN ANGEL AGAIN