i don't know why this is blowing my mind this morning

The Lego Movie - Sentence Starters
  • "Cover your butt."
  • "Oh, now there's a prophecy."
  • "All this is true, because it rhymes."
  • "That was a great, inspiring legend...that you made up."
  • "Good morning, apartment!"
  • "Ah here it is, the instructions to fit in, have everyone like you, and always be happy!"
  • "Wear clothes. Whoops, almost forgot that one!"
  • "Honey, where are my pants?"
  • "What was I just thinking? Ah, I don't care."
  • "Take everything weird and blow it up!"
  • "Who wants to eat some delicious chicken wings and get craaazyyyy?!"
  • "...I think I heard a whoosh."
  • "I feel like maybe I should touch that."
  • "So you've never heard of the prophecy?"
  • "I watch a lot of cop shows on TV, isn't there also supposed to be a good cop?!"
  • "That guy's not a criminal mastermind."
  • "We all have something that makes us something, and ____ is...nothing."
  • "Am I gonna die?!"
  • "Yes, we've told him he'll live so he doesn't try to escape, but...we're lying to him."
  • "Come with me if you wanna not die."
  • "What are you, a DJ?"
  • "Darn darn darn, darny, darn!"
  • "Oh my g-o-s-h!"
  • "I'm not sure exactly why you'd bring that up."
  • "I never have any ideas."
  • "Blah blah blah, proper name, place name, backstory stuff."
  • "I think I got it. But just in case... Tell me the whole thing again, I wasn't listening."
  • "How scary can someone's office be?"
  • "This meeting could run a little bit...deadly."
  • "It makes me just want to pick up whoever's standing closest to me and just throw them through this window!"
  • "All I'm asking for is total perfection!"
  • "Howdy guys! Come sit on me!"
  • "I don't think he's ever had an original thought in his life."
  • "Introducing, the double decker couch! So everyone can watch TV together and be buddies!"
  • "That idea is just the worst."
  • "Your mind is so prodigiously empty that there is nothing in it to clear away in the first place."
  • "I'm dark and brooding too! ...Guys, look! A rainbow!"
  • "Any idea is a good idea! Except the not happy ones."
  • "I know what you're thinking: he is the least qualified person in the world to lead us! And you are right!"
  • "You are so disappointing on so many levels."
  • "This is not how Batman dies!"
  • "Somebody get me some markers! Some construction paper! And some glitter glue!"
  • "I'm here to see...your butt."
  • "You're telling me that you have a machine to control the universe and you can't listen to tunes in surround sound?"
  • "I want speakers that you can hug with your arms and your legs."
  • "I didn't draw that, is that me exploding?!"
  • "Must be weird. One minute, you're the most special person in the universe. The next, you're nobody!"
  • "Unfortunately, I'm going to have to leave you here to die."
  • "So I guess running around and screaming is normal."
  • "You don't know me, but I'm on TV, so you can trust me."
  • "What in the world is that? It's adorable."
  • "Do not eat me!"
  • "Why is the dragon on top of the luxury condo development?"
  • "You don't have to be the bad guy."
  • "He's the hero you deserve."
  • "Everything is awesome!"

freezing-and-crimson  asked:

This is kinda rude and pathetic to ask. But your writing always cheers me up and I've been so deep in depression that it's not even funny. But could you write a small drabble about Kakashi x Orochimaru taking care of and raising Mitsuki and Log??? If you don't want to then that's fine ^^ don't feel like you have to write something.


It’s a little startling, just how often Kakashi sees his father’s smile echoed so clearly in Mitsuki’s cheerful grins.

Seeing it always gives the same reaction; his breath catches in his throat, his eyes widen, his heart stutters. It’s not pain, the way it might have been before Pein’s invasion. It’s not the aching, crushing grief he carried for so many years. This is closer to joy, light and effervescent and full, and Kakashi smiles back, even though Mitsuki is thoroughly occupied with Boruto right now.

“You know, one could say that it’s your smile as well,” Orochimaru say, amused, as he comes to lean against the balcony railing. Kakashi almost wants to accuse him of reading his mind, but—well. He mentioned it once, helpless in the face of that small connection that shouldn’t be, and Orochimaru’s memory is hardly lacking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he denies, mostly just to be contrary.

Orochimaru’s expression shades towards polite disbelief, but he doesn’t call Kakashi on it. “You have good DNA,” he says instead, gaze flickering back to their son.

Kakashi rolls his eyes, just a little, because coming from the Sannin that’s absolutely a compliment, but it would probably send anyone else screaming for the hills. Sometimes Kakashi wonders why he doesn’t do the same, except for the fact that he’s always been a little light on self-preservation.

Besides, two pieces of his DNA are currently wandering around the Hokage Mansion. Kakashi might not cop to much, but that’s…pretty incredible.

“Rogu?” he asks, because he knows from experience that it’s never a good idea to let his older son stay out of sight too long.

Orochimaru’s amusement says that he sees right through Kakashi’s casual question, and also remembers that time with Gai, the melons, and the exploding tags just as clearly as Kakashi does, if likely for different reasons.

(Kakashi is scarred, all right? There was definite mental trauma happening that day, even if Tsunade laughed him out of her office when he told her that.)

“Occupying himself,” Orochimaru says breezily, as if that’s any sort of comfort at all. He turns precisely, already stepping back towards their bedroom, and adds, “I’m going to R&D if you—”

“I don’t think so.” Maybe Genma is right about mild insanity and suicidal bravery being the prerequisite for becoming a jounin—not that he has any room to talk, the jerk—but Kakashi grabs him around the waist, dodges the knife-hand blow that would have crushed the windpipe of anyone slower, and steers him back towards the freshly-made bed. “You’re not leaving me here alone with four children.”

The amusement on Orochimaru’s face is well-hidden behind a veil of black hair and his half-hearted struggles. “Kakashi, Sarada and Boruto are perfectly polite children—”

“One is Sasuke and Naruto’s child, and the other is Sakura’s,” Kakashi says firmly. “And Mitsuki is terrifying.”

Conspicuously, Orochimaru doesn’t argue this point. “I just made the bed,” he complains instead, and when Kakashi pauses to eye him disbelievingly, there’s a quicksilver flash of a smirk before a foot is sweeping his legs out from under him.

Kakashi is the Hokage and has been a shinobi for over thirty years now; he’s not about to be taken down by a trick like that, so when he falls he grabs Orochimaru and drags him down onto the mattress with him. There’s a brief but fierce struggle to pin each other—Kakashi mostly wins due to extra body mass and feels no shame in admitting it—and when it ends, Orochimaru is watching Kakashi with narrowed eyes and the shadow of a smirk on his lips.

They’re very pretty lips, Kakashi thinks, gaze flickering to them, and can see the exact moment Orochimaru catches it. His eyes darken, features sliding towards smugly amused, and—

Well. Kakashi had never though he’d end up here, that morning when Konoha’s most famous semi-pardoned missing-nin marched into his office with two small children in tow and an aggravated Suigetsu mislabeled my DNA samples so these are yours, Hatake in explanation. Hadn’t even vaguely considered it, but…he’s come to the conclusion that he doesn’t really mind.

Mitsuki’s laugh, loud and bright from outside the window, sounds just like his father’s as well.

Carefully, he tugs his mask off, leaning down to kiss Orochimaru slowly and thoroughly. There’s a satisfied hum as clever fingers curl around the back of his neck, and it’s lazy and languid and full of banked heat.

There’s a sudden groan from the hallway outside their bedroom, followed by an annoyed, “Don’t you know how doors work? I don’t want to see that,” and then hurried steps as Rogu retreats with speed.

Kakashi can’t help but think of that morning, when Sasuke came to drop of Boruto and caught them kissing in the kitchen. Usually Kakashi has to work a lot harder to inflict that level of trauma on his cute former students, so he’s calling this a good day.

Still. Rogu moving with any sort of alacrity outside of an actual fight, even in the face of parental PDA, is usually a bad sign. Kakashi looks down at Orochimaru, who arches a brow right back, and has to sit back with a resigned sigh.

Somewhere in the distance, something explodes. Equal odds as to whether it’s Rogu’s fault or the Terrible Threesome’s.

“I feel like we should ignore that,” Kakashi says lightly.

Orochimaru’s smirk is knowing. “Is the Rokudaime Hokage really afraid of the mischief of children?” he asks, as if that’s a fair question at all.

“My children,” Kakashi reminds him, ducking down for one more quick kiss. “Your children.”

With a hum, Orochimaru concedes the point. “In my defense, I thought I was using the Nidaime’s DNA.”

Like that would have been better. Kakashi lets one raised brow speak for him.

Chuckling, Orochimaru slides out from underneath him, as unexpected but lithe as a snake, and rises to his feet. “I’m required at R&D,” he informs Kakashi, flashing him a sly smile. “Have fun with the children, my dear.”

Kakashi groans and feels entirely justified flopping face-first into the pillows.

Long fingers stroke through his hair, but Orochimaru darts away when Kakashi tries to grab him again. Footsteps—deliberate, Kakashi knows, since the smug bastard can’t be bothered to make noise when walking at any other time—retreat out the door, and Kakashi sighs, smelling smoke.

This is definitely payback for what he inflicted on his father in childhood, he thinks wryly, levering himself up. There’s no doubt at all.

He grabs the spray bottle sitting on the bedside table, straightens his clothes, and heads out to hunt down his children.

I Don't Wanna Live Forever

“I’m literally getting on my car, Charlie. I’m coming.” Adam rolled his eyes as he opened the car’s door and got inside. He hung up the phone, throwing it in the passenger’s seat with a sigh. Why did Charlie have to make him leave the house and put his track on hold for a meeting?

He drove through the streets, glad there wasn’t much traffic. The faster he got there, the faster he could leave.

He stopped at a red light, getting his phone so he could check on something while he waited for it to turn green. Once it did, he went ahead and in the moment right in the middle of the road, a car hit him full speed. He felt everything spinning around him, his mind no longer cooperating with him, he felt frozen. Hitting his head, he blacked out, waking into unconsciousness. Everything was black.

Taylor was just flipping channels when his name came on. She rolled her eyes, figuring it was probably nothing and there the images started rolling in. His car was wrecked. A wave of panic rushed to her hearing that he was rushed to the hospital. Was he okay? Of course not, he’s in the hospital but it could just be to get a check up, nothing major. But with his car looking like it was, the car she had been in many times, there was no way he was okay.

She had to remind herself that she wasn’t close to him anymore, that she couldn’t just jump in the car and walk into the hospital to know if he was okay so she decided to wait. But it the worry that had settled into her brain was taking over and she couldn’t even think about anything else. He had to be okay. She hated to admit that she cared about him but she did. You can’t love someone so deeply and not care about them even after they hurt you.

It was now two in the morning and she was wide awake, sitting up in bed, phone in her hand, desperately trying to know if there was more information about the accident. It wasn’t doing any good, she had a flight early in the morning, back to Nashville.

She got out of bed, taking a few deep breaths because her mind was going into an endless spiral and she needed it to stop. She needed it to stop because the possibility of him being hurt badly or worse…that was terrifying. Utterly terrifying.

It was four in the morning when she decided to call Adam’s phone and it rang about four times before the call was taken. But it wasn’t Adam on the phone. It was Charlie making her even more worried.


“Tay!” Charlie breathed out. “You know about it?”

“The accident? Yeah it’s all over the news. How is he? Is he okay? Is he hurt.” She fired her questions, albeit afraid of the answers.

“It’s bad, Tay. I’m trying to get hold of his parents and friends but I don’t know, I…I can’t…it’s all my fault. I made him come to the meeting. It’s my fault.” Charlie rambled, emotion thick in his voice.

“Charlie, you’re not making any sense! Calm down and tell me what happened!” Taylor raised her voice slightly.

“He’s unconscious. They say he hit his head. He was on his way over to a meeting I made him come to and some crazy ass dude just went pass a red light and hit his car pretty bad. They say he broke his leg but his head is the worst.” Charlie told her and she shut her eyes taking a deep breath.

“It’s not your fault, do you hear me? It’s the other guy’s, okay? Charlie, I need you to calm down so you can call Pam and David. Or maybe call Sophie.” She said to him, trying to stay calm. From the way Charlie sounded, she knew it really was as he said, bad.



“I know you guys broke up and all that but can you call Adam’s parents?”

“Charlie,” she sighed. “I’m not sure I can do that. Either way, I’m leaving tomorrow, well today. I was just worried about him.” She but her lip, running a hand through her hair. If she was being honest, she just had to make a call and cancel the flight. She had nothing having to do with work for a few days and the thought of having to call Adam’s parents, especially his mother who had been so lovely and kind to her after her and Adam had broken up made her the least bit uncomfortable because she knew they’d fly over and she would cancel the flight and she’d go to hospital and she’d be with them and more importantly, with him.

“Okay.” Charlie frowned. “I’ll promise I’ll call you if there’s any news.”

“Thank you, Charlie.”

Despite her efforts to stop herself, she cancelled the flight and stayed in LA. In case anything happened, she’d be close and although she didn’t really want to face it, she was concerned.

Charlie had stayed in the hospital the whole night, waiting for Adam to wake up and the doctors had told him it wouldn’t take long. They had also told him that there was a possibility of memory loss which worried him a bit but at least he was out of danger.

Sitting on the chair next to Adam’s bed, Charlie noticed him move his finger making him jump off his seat.

“Adam?” He called out carefully. Then pushed the button to call the nurse.

After a few basic questions, like his name, age, date of birth they left him alone with Charlie.

“My head feels like it’s about to blow.” Adam mumbled, trying to sit up.

“You me scared there, mate.” Charlie chuckled softly and watched as Adam shut his eyes sighing. Then after a second, his eyes shot open and he looked around the room.

“Charlie, was Taylor with me? Where is she? Is she alright?” Charlie’s eyes widened at his question.

“She wasn’t with you. Why would Taylor be here?” He questioned, confused.

“Because she’s my girlfriend, Charlie and I almost died, she’d be worried.” Adam explained and Charlie stood frozen for a second, not really knowing what to say.

“Right, yeah. I’m just gonna go have a word with the doctor okay.” He nodded his head, walking towards the door.

Memory loss. He had no recollection of the last six months. So no break up, no fighting, no online outburst. All gone from his memory. So in his mind, Taylor was his girlfriend and they were happily in love which would be hard to break it down to him so Charlie didn’t know better than to call Taylor.

“Hi, any news? Is he alright?”

“Good news is he’s awake.” Charlie told her.

“Thank god, that’s great.” Taylor breathed out a sigh of relief then quickly realized there was something else. “Okay, what’s the bad news?” She gulped.

“I…” Charlie cleared his throat. He was afraid of what her reaction would be. “He doesn’t remember anything that happened in the last six months.”

“The last six months? You mean…” she gasped. “He doesn’t remember…”

“Your break up, yeah he doesn’t.” The silence on the other side of the line worried Charlie. Obviously this would be a complicated situation. After all Taylor and Adam had gone through, how the mistakes they had made had become almost irreparable, this would be hard. “Taylor, say something, please.” Charlie murmured.

“You need to tell him.” She snapped. “You need to tell him what happened. I don’t care.”

“It’s gonna break him.” Charlie warned.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s the truth. It’s reality.” She sighed.

“I think it’s better if you’re the one to tell him.” Charlie said.

“What why?” She questioned.

“Because you were there. You know what happened, I don’t. Adam doesn’t really open up about that time. He didn’t say much when I asked about it.”

“This is great. Just great. I haven’t seen him in months, Charlie. Months. Do you know how hard this is for me?” She sighed. She could feel herself overthinking it. It would be the first time she saw him ever since they broke up and she’d see the man she loved, not the one she had left but the one she fell for.

“Taylor, please, I can’t do it. I don’t know how. You have a way with words, you can make it easier on him. I just…please.” Charlie begged her.

“I’ll do it.” She decided. “But I’m not sugar coating it, okay? I’m telling him the whole story. I know it’s going to hurt him but I can’t do it any other way.”

She entered the hospital, the nervous feeling becoming bigger by the second as she knew she was a second closer to be face to face with Adam. She walked up to the reception.

“I’m looking for Adam Wiles?” She spoke gently with a smile.

“Name.” The lady behind the desk asked, busy with whatever she was doing on the computer.

“Taylor Swift.” She told her quietly not wanting to attract attention. The lady looked up from her computer, her eyes going wide.

“Oh hi! It’s you, wow!” The woman chuckled.

“Yes,” she looked at the woman’s tag, reading it. “Jessica. His room?”

“His friend warned us you’d be coming. He’s in room 105.” She smiled.

“Thank you.” She nodded.

As she entered the elevator with people with nervous looks on their faces, much like hers. She started thinking about the reasons these people were here. Births, sickness, visiting people. She wondered the reason for their nervousness, wondered if it was anything like hers. Then her mind travelled to Adam. She had been preparing her speech all the way to the hospital. She’d tell him why things went wrong what she felt on her end and what he had told her on a very long conversation after all the mess, what he had felt. She’d tell him about how they both screwed up, what lead to them breaking up in the first place and why she left.

She saw Charlie standing by the door on his phone. She called out his name and he looked up, smiling. Giving him a hug, she opted for asking how he was instead of going straight for the Adam topic.

“I’m good.” Charlie answered. “You?”

“I’m okay, I think. I’m not sure how I feel right now.” She sighed and Charlie bit his lip.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. “I know it’s hard for you. It’s just that none of us really understand what went down and you can tell him everything.”

“I know.” She nodded. “Should I go in?” Taylor questioned, staring straight at Adam’s room in front of her as she took a deep breath.

“You ready?”

“Might as well get it over with.” Taylor shrugged.

She opened the door slowly, admittedly scared of what she would be faced with. He was there, sitting up in bed, looking a little beat up but not too much. His lips spread into a huge grin that took over his face.

“Babe!” He called out and felt her heart drop. God, she hadn’t heard that in ages.

“Hi, Adam.” She murmured, looking a little awkwardly standing by the door. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m better now. Where’ve you been? You must be worried sick. If me having a cold gets you worried I can’t imagine what you felt.” He chuckled and she felt like she was in a wicked dream. She felt as if she was in the past and she desperately wanted to tell him the truth because she couldn’t handle this Adam. The old Adam.

“It’s okay.” She cleared her throat. “Um, I…when are you free to leave?”

“A couple of days and I’ll be home.” He smiled softly. “What’s up with you? You’re off.” He noted and shifted setting down her purse on the chair next to his bed. “Not even a hug?”

She felt trapped, a little breathless as she heard his voice almost like a distant thought. “We need to talk.” She choked out.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking at her as her eyes travelled anywhere but him. “Babe, come on!”

“Don’t call me babe!” She snapped and he looked taken back by her reaction. “I’m sorry, that’s not how I wanted to go with this.” She took a deep breath, shaking her head, trying to clear the mess inside her head.

“What the hell is happening?”

There was a pause, silence taking over because she needed to gather her thoughts and he was waiting for an answer.

“You lost your memory.” She began. “You have no memories of what happened in the last six months. You’re missing a lot, Adam!” Her eyes widened a bit as she talked.

“Are you joking?”

“No.” she breathed out, finally looking back at him.

“How different can things be?” Adam furrowed his brows and Taylor felt her heart sting in her chest. He had a lot coming his way.

“We broke up.” She mumbled after a few seconds, playing with her hands. She didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to see the look she had hoped to see when she left him. Not that she liked seeing him hurt but it would’ve meant that if he was hurt then he cared.

He didn’t say anything, trying to take in the new information that had fallen into his hands. So they weren’t together? She wasn’t his girlfriend anymore? He felt his heart break as it sunk.

“Was I the one who broke up with you?” He asked a bit hesitantly. She shook her head, the silence making her want to run off. “Okay” He whispered. “Oh my god…” she saw tears welling up in his eyes and her heart broke just like his was breaking.

He felt as if his world was crashing down. The floor breaking beneath him and he was free falling into a never ending hole. His heart breaking in a million pieces. She had broke up with him. He didn’t have her.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s hard but I had a few reasons to leave you.” She gulped down the lump in her throat, playing with her fingers.

“What did I do?” He asked her quietly, sniffling.

“Well…” she took a deep breath. “You pushed me away, started spending more time in the studio and ignoring every attempt I made to spend time with you, at least that’s what I felt, like you just stopped caring but you just took it for granted that I’d never leave.” She shook her head, the memories becoming all too vivid in her mind, memories she had tried to ignore. “It felt like you didn’t want me anymore. You stopped trying, stopped coming to big events with me, you got jealous every time a guy talked to me for more than a minute, we had a few big fights and you accused me of cheating on you at the MET Gala. I hated it, hated the way you talked down on me like I was just something to pick up and play around and then drop it whenever you felt like.” She laughed bitterly and he could see the pain evident on her face as she relived those moments in her mind. How in the world was he capable of hurting the woman he loved most was beyond him. “I just wanted you to love me so I tried, I even declared my love for you on national television and still, it was all the same. I tried too much, I tried to fix what was broken beyond repair and you didn’t even notice me when I felt like I was yelling at you to love me again, you just stared blankly as I packed my suitcases and left.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t try to get you back?” He asked her, wondering what made him turn out like that.

“No.” she shook her head. “You Just ranted on social media about how terrible I was.”

He almost choked. “I did what.”

“Well I did throw it that I was seeing someone after you at your face but goddamn it, you won the golden medal for how petty a person can be.”

“You- you were seeing someone? You broke up with me for someone else?”

“No!” She told him immediately. “He was just there. He was a rebound.” She assured him, not even knowing why she felt the need to do that. “And you were pissed about it and also the fact that I confirmed that I wrote ‘This is What you came for’ so yeah…”

“Wow…I really am missing a lot.” He whispered burying his face in his hands.

“I know this is hard, trust me, it is for me too but you needed to know and I couldn’t pretend.” She mumbled, watching him uncomfortably, wanting to leave as soon as possible and at the same time, she wanted to comfort him, tell him it was okay.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just…I don’t know how I could’ve done something like that, it’s a bit unreal.” He breathed out. It felt as though someone was crushing his heart, stomping on it repeatedly in hopes to cause more pain. “Are you okay now? Is it better?”

“It’s okay, you can never ask for too much. It’s not the best but I guess it gets better.” She shrugged and he nodded.

“Anything else that happened I should know about?” He asked, smiling softly trying his best not to break down.

“About us? We’ve covered all the basics I think.” She pondered for a moment. “Well, I’m not sure how to explain what you felt but I could…try?”

“That would be nice, yes.” He nodded.

“What you told me was that you didn’t feel like anything was wrong until the MET gala after we had this huge blown out fight, you said you were too caught up on everything you were working on and you just couldn’t make time for me or you forgot or something. Then you started to feel like you were losing which was the truth so you took me out to the Bahamas again to fix it and everything so we decided to split there or I guess I did, you just went along. Then a month later I started seeing someone for fun because I needed a distraction, he was nice but you were hurt by it. You said it felt like I was telling you I did cheat on you since the guy was the reason for our fight and who I hung out with a bit at the MET. Then I guess we just started throwing things at each other’s faces out of spite. You said shit about me online, I walked around the world with him.” She found herself laughing a little bit at the situation. “It was ridiculous, really.”

“It sounds ridiculous and nothing like us.” He runs a hand through his hair, trying to make sense of everything.

“That’s what happened to us.” She frowned.

As if remembering something, his eyes widen. “Do we talk to each other again? After all that?” He questioned and she smiles at this, nodding.

“We do make up, sort of. We have a civil conversation about our feeling and we agree to be friends. All is well.” She chuckled.

“Just friends?” He mumbled quietly, hoping she hadn’t heard him.

“Yeah, it’s not like we could just go back so um…yeah.” If she was being completely honest with herself, she knew deep down that her feelings for Adam were buried within her, still there and they had never gone away but actually bringing herself to be vulnerable again was terrifying and besides, Adam had shown no signs whatsoever of wanted to get back together when they talked. “Listen, I have to leave now. I have a meeting in a couple of hours.”

“Oh. Yeah that’s fine!” He nodded, forcing a smile. She stood up and for second, pondered hugging him goodbye but decided against it so she just waved, smiling at him.

“I hope you get better, Adam. Maybe I’ll visit or something, sometime.”

“That would be nice, yeah. So I guess, I’ll see you.”

“Take care! Bye!”

And with that he was left alone with his thoughts. He had lost her. He had broken her heart and he knew one thing for sure, he was going to get her back. No matter what.

Please tell me what you think!!!!

Flip Phones Are Making a Comeback 🤙
  • iPhone User: How can you even stand it?
  • Android User: Stand what?
  • iPhone User: Your phone's crappy camera. Every picture looks like it was printed from a gameboy.
  • Android User: At least mine isn't an overpriced piece of junk that bends if you put in your pocket.
  • iPhone User: Excuse me? I think all of that extra price goes to making sure our phone DON'T EXPLODE!
  • Android User: It's only the Note 7 that explodes. You don't know anything.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, Moto.
  • *both phone users glance at it momentarily until it stops ringing*
  • Android User: Uhh, anyway. At least our phones aren't made in sweatshops.
  • iPhone User: You didn't need to take this conversation in that direction, but your phone is probably made in a sweatshop too.
  • Android User: Our sweatshops are 100% more humane than Apple's gulags.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, Moto.
  • iPhone User: Is that piece of junk yours?
  • Android User: No, who uses a flip phone in 20XX. I thought it was yours.
  • iPhone User: *picks up flip phone* It's so old, but it seems familiar.
  • Android User: Are you going to answer it?
  • iPhone User: No. You answer it.
  • Android User: Hell no! You picked it up. Why don't you answer it?
  • iPhone User: I don't know. Something doesn't seem right about it. I'm going home.
  • Android User: Don't forget to take your flip phone with you.
  • iPhone User: You keep it, as an android user, you're used to cheap pieces of junk.
  • Android User: Low blow!
  • *at night*
  • Android User: *tossing and turning in bed*
  • Flip Phone: *ringing grows progressively louder* HELLO, MOTO!
  • Android User: *picks up flip phone* Piece of garbage. Why do you keep ringing. I should just answer it.
  • Android User: *gets nervous* Why don't I want to answer it? Jesus, I just need to get rid of this thing.
  • Android User: *tosses flip phone out of the window* That's better.
  • Android User: *attempts to go back to sleep but ringing starts again* Fucking no! Is this some sort of nightmare!?
  • Android User: *notices their own phone ringing on their drawer* Oh. *answers it*
  • Android User: Whom am I speaking to?
  • iPhone User: Hey, it's me.
  • Android User: It's late, what do you want?
  • iPhone User: You know how it's just the two of us that hang out.
  • Android User: Yeah, what about it?
  • iPhone User: Didn't it used to be three of us that hung out?
  • Android User: No, it's been just the two of us since we were kids.
  • iPhone User: We had a third friend that we hung out with everyday. I know this sounds crazy, but somehow both of us forgot about her.
  • Android User: I have no clue what you're talking about.
  • iPhone User: That's the point! Like, she did everything with us, but I can't remember anything specifically about her. It's like someone took an eraser to my mind, but for some reason I have all these faint memories about her coming back to me and I'm freaking out.
  • Android User: Man, I think you just need some sleep. You sound crazy right now.
  • iPhone User: I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I got to sleep when I wake up I won't remember you. I think something bad is going to happen to you.
  • Android User: I'm fine. My dad owns a gun. If someone tries to break into our house or something, they'll get their heads blown off. I guess we might have to deal with vengeful ghosts, but those usually take a few years to develop. Get some sleep, please.
  • iPhone User: Okay, goodnight... I love you.
  • Android User: Uhh, the feeling's mutual... I guess. *hangs up*
  • Android User: Overemotional, I swear. *attempts to sleep*
  • *loud knock at the door*
  • Android User: Goddammit! Dad'll get it.
  • *banging persists and only gets louder*
  • Android User: Okay, I guess I have to answer it again. *grabs one of their dad's guns and answer the door*
  • Android User: *aims gun into the dark night* Who's out there!? Who was knocking on my door!? ...No one. Fucking neighbor kids, I swear.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, moto!
  • Android User: Of fucking course. *screams into the night* I guess some PARANORMAL FORCE just magically put the flip phone on my porch. How about I just BLAST IT TO PIECES!
  • The Night: *stays silent*
  • Android User: *sighs* This has to be a stupid fucking prank. I bet that iPhone using "friend" of mine is doing this to set me up.
  • Android User: *notices the caller ID on the flip phone* Rebecca? Why is that name so familiar?
  • Android User: *answers phone* Hello?
  • Rebecca: Look below your porch. Look below your porch. Look below your porch. Look below your porch.
  • Android User: Fuck off. *hangs up* If someone really is below my porch, you can crawl out! I'll be sure to blast your brains out! I'm not afraid!
  • Android User: I'm a fucking idiot for this. *peers below the porch* There's nothing. This really is all some prank. *stands up*
  • *the front door is closed*
  • Android User: *checks the door* It's locked! Fuck! Okay, this is actually getting weird, but I'm armed. If anyone tries to mess with me I'll fucking shoot them.
  • Android User: *checks self* Where the fuck did I put that phone?
  • Flip Phone: *rings from the back of the house* ...hello, moto.
  • Android User: *sweats nervously* Okay, stay calm. Remember, you're armed. This is all a prank and they'll feel like fucking idiots when they realize they nearly got themselves shot over this. *walks to the back of the house*
  • *the next morning*
  • iPhone User: *frantically scrolling through phone*
  • Grandmother: What's wrong, honey?
  • iPhone User: I don't know. I'm looking for someone in my phone contacts, but they're not there!
  • Grandmother: Who?
  • iPhone User: I don't know! Ugh!
  • Grandmother: Calm down, honey. I'm sure you'll find them.
  • iPhone User: Grandma, did I used to hang out with anyone? Like, I regularly had friends over, right?
  • Grandmother: Well, I'm going to be honest with you. You've always been a bit of an introvert. But as long as you keep up with your schoolwork, it's no bother to me.
  • iPhone User: No, I had two friends, didn't I? Don't you remember them? You knew both of them by name. They were my childhood friends.
  • Grandmother: I'm not sure. You liked being by yourself as a child. H-Have you been using drugs?
  • iPhone User: No, grandma! It's just... I don't know. I'm lonely and stressed out and I don't know why.
  • Grandmother: It must be your schoolwork, honey. You're such a hard worker and you hardly ever give yourself a break. Remember, you have to take out some time for yourself to relax too. Studying is important, but so is your mental health
  • iPhone User: You're right. Finals are coming up. I guess I've been letting it all go to my head.
  • Flip Phone: *rings* Hello, Moto.
  • Grandmother: *takes phone out of pocket* Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? *hangs up* Strange.
  • iPhone User: Where did you get that phone?
  • Grandmother: I've had it for a while now. Is there something wrong with it?
  • iPhone User: No... not anything that I remember.

anonymous asked:

Since I`m a kid,I wake up in the middle of the night every day. I told my parents but they said it`s nothing. What`s wrong with me?

Hi there lovely anon :)

I can understand where you’re coming from. As a child, I would have major issues sleeping (I still do). I’ve got some tips for you on sleep in general and some different ways you can help yourself fall and stay asleep plus some links :)

How to improve sleep:

  1. Listen to calming music- Having music in the background is helpful because it allows your mind to flow into the music while you drift off to sleep.
  2. Sleep medication- Talk to your doctor about prescribing you a natural sleep medication if you are having severe instability to sleep.
  3. Calming scents- Having calming scents in your room such as lavender or vanilla are helpful because those scents ease the mind and are very nice to smell.
  4. Comfortable temperature- If your room is too hot or cold, it can be hard to sleep and find that just right stop. I suggest having a fan in the summer time that can blow cool breeze at you, and in the winter have a heater or have a plan to wear more blankets.
  5. Limit distractions- When you’re trying to fall asleep, having things around you that can be distracting, its best to move those things out of the room or turn them off. You could put your cell phone on the counter instead of your nightstand so you are not woken up each time you get a text.
  6. Comfort items- Having stuffed animals or blankets can help improve your sleep because when you have those items, you feel comfortable and in a safe place which is a must for a good nights sleep.

Helpful Links:

Sleep issues;

Dealing with insomnia/sleep deprivation

I have some general advice on how you can cope with having nightmares and some more links for you:

  • Create a playlist of music that relaxes you.  Keep your music player on your night stand so that it is available when you wake up.
  • Keep a journal by your bed.  When you wake up, write down everything you remember about the nightmare.  This will help to focus you on a task and distract you, plus you may start to notice trends.  Writing things down can be highly therapeutic.
  • As with most sleep disorders, try to keep a regular sleep-wake cycle. Get up at the same time every day, go to sleep at the same time every night.  Having a routine before bed is important as well, as it prepares your brain for sleep.  
  • Reserve your bed for sleep only: no watching TV, texting, or using your laptop.Regular exercise reduces stress and releases endorphins, and can reduce your night terrors.

Helpful Links:

Why do we need to sleep well?

How to do it?

How about an actual good morning?

Once you’ve looked over those links (I know there are tons, but I like to go above and beyond)

Anyways, below are some general tips on how you can fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer:

  • Get the number of hours of sleep each night you need to function optimally. Although it varies, most individuals need between seven and eight hours of sleep every night.  When sleep-deprived, you are less efficient and focused during the day, and may be leaving yourself open for health risks as well. Research has shown sleep deprivation can affect appetite, weight gain, diabetes risk, the strength of your immune system and even your chance of developing depression. If you have been trying to get by on less sleep, try backing up bedtime by 15 minutes each week, until you are getting the amount of sleep that leaves you feeling refreshed in the morning.
  • Create a calming atmosphere in your bedroom. If your room is cluttered with work, books that have not been read, papers to attend to, and dirty laundry, it will be a constant reminder of all you need to do.  Take 15 minutes each day and begin clearing the clutter and making your room one you will look forward to relaxing in at the end of each day.
  • Make your bed in the morning. A straightened bed is so much more appealing to go to at night then one that is a jumble of sheets and blankets.
  • Reserve your bed for sleep and sex only. This will allow your mind to associate your bed with rest and relaxation only. Watch TV, use your computer, talk on the phone, and eat somewhere else.
  • Create a calming nighttime ritual.Turn off your computer, shut the TV, and do not answer your phone for an hour before you want to go to sleep. Choose activities you find calming.  Take a warm bath, read a magazine or novel, have some decaffeinated tea or cookies and milk.  
  • Keep your bedroom cool at night. For most individuals, 65 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit will allow the dip in core body temperature you need to induce sleep.
  • Avoid caffeine in the later afternoon and evening. Caffeinated coffee, tea, soft drinks, chocolate and sugar-laden snacks can all keep you too wired to fall asleep at bedtime.
  • Avoid late night workouts.  Exercise is a great sleep aid, but a vigorous workout too late in the day may keep you up at night. However, a leisurely walk after dinner could be just the thing to calm your body and mind.
  • Avoid alcohol and spicy foods in the late evenings. Although a nightcap may help you fall asleep, you will probably experience fragmented sleep, and find yourself wide-awake within a few hours. Steer clear of spicy foods or anything you know causes you heartburn or gastric distress.
  • If an evening party or celebration finds you consuming wine or cocktails, drink plenty of water throughout the evening, and keep a water bottle by your bedside. This way, if you do wake up dehydrated, you will not need to get out of bed.
  • Spend a few minutes creating your “to do list” and preparing for the next day.  This will allow your mind to know everything is ready and your morning will be calmer as well.
  • Keep a pad and pen by your bedside. If you wake in the middle of the night, and your mind is racing with thoughts of things you neglected to do, or need to get done, writing them down will release your mind from worrying about forgetting in the morning, allowing you to drift back to sleep.
  • If you have not fallen asleep after 20 minutes, get out of bed and find a relaxing spot to read. Do not use your technology or watch TV, do anything that requires brain work, or look at a clock.  Any of these will stimulate you and increase your anxiety.  As soon as you feel sleepy, return to bed.
  • Eliminate or reduce afternoon naps to a maximum of 30 minutes, regardless of how little you slept the night before. Napping too late in the day or for too long can set you up for another sleepless night and a vicious cycle.
  • Go to bed and get up at the same time every day no matter how much sleep you had the night before. The closer you can keep to a routine, the more your body will recognize and respond appropriately to your bedtime and wake up hours.  Don’t attempt to make up for lost sleep during the week by sleeping in all weekend.


Hope this helps! Keep me updated? I’d love to hear back from you and see if my advice has helped :) Take care and don’t forget to smile :) xx

The One in Which He’s Alive // l.h.

(mobile) masterlist

word count: 2.7k+

summary: it’s in the pouring rain and at two in the morning that suddenly, luke hemmings stands on your doorstep—soaked—to tell you how much he doesn’t miss you.

His hair, his clothes—literally his everything is soaked to the core, as he turns around under the pouring rain and climbs the steps towards your parents’ patio, where he is at least a little more protected from the wetness of the storm. Before you even get one word out, he begins to talk. And he talks. And talks. About how much he doesn’t miss you. How great he is. How much he loves life right now. “I ain’t missing you,” he shouts over the downpour and thunder. “I’ve spent the last months actually living! I feel like I have an actual life again,” he says, throwing his hands out, like he couldn’t keep the excitement in him. He looks at you and grins. The corners of his mouth raise quicker than the lightning that’s bound to come again any second now, and it splits his face in two so violently, you fear it’s going to rip.

“Okay…” you tell him quietly with a raised eyebrow, because you don’t know what else to say to a guy professing his non-existent feelings to you, when just a couple of months prior, you’d been in this exact situation, though then it was him, spending every second trying to convince you how much he loves you.

“Seriously,” Luke says. “I’m so perfect. I don’t miss you at all. Everything’s fine.”


“I don’t want you and I don’t need you anymore.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you shift your weight onto your other foot and lean against the doorframe. “Luke, why are you here? And why are you telling me this at two in the morning?”

He grins again. “Because I thought about you. Because I’m always thinking about you.” His grin falls for a nanosecond. “But I’m over you. I promise I am. I mean, I’m so alive, baby. You should feel what I feel.” He lifts his hands again, but this time he grips the doorframe with them—which you’re leaning against. His face comes near you, and for a second you think he’s about to kiss you, causing you to back away. You aren’t sure, if the small flinch you see is real or not, but he doesn’t give you a chance to analyse, as he begins to talk again. “Literally every feeling I feel is suddenly enhanced by a hundred. They’re so intense, it still knocks the breath out of me, even after months.”

You don’t answer but rather take in his wet appearance. Sure, there is a cocky grin sitting on his face and there isn’t any alcohol-stench coming from his breath, but still, you feel like he isn’t himself right now. “What’s going on, Luke?” you ask, trying to gently coerce an answer out of him.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says immediately, the grin coming back to life.

“You can’t just come here and tell me how fine you are and how much you don’t need me and expect me to believe you are fine. No normal person does this.” Sighing, you uncross your arms, doing something you wouldn’t have thought you’d do, ever again. “Look, if you want, you can come in. I can get you a towel or something and we can talk properly.”

Tonight is just full of surprises, because suddenly, he begins to shake his head no and whines like an actual four-year-old—with an actual voice that’s higher than normal. “No, I don’t want to come in,” he says—or rather moans. “I just wanted to say those things I’ve said and now I’m leaving.”

Rushing to grab hold of his arm before he steps off your patio, you shake your head at him again, though he cannot see that as he has his back turned towards you. “Hold on for a sec, Luke,” you say. “Please.”

Facing you again, he looks at you with an expectant expression. A moment of silence later, he raises an impatient eyebrow.

“It’s just—Just because we aren’t together anymore, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” And that is the truth. Luke has been such a large part of your life, it is physically impossible to stop caring about him from one sudden moment to another.

This time his eyebrow doesn’t raise in impatience, but rather hurt, it seems. “Yeah…um—thanks, I guess. But I really have to get going.”

You tug at his arm again, getting impatient yourself. “Oh, for God’s sake, just come inside for a minute. You’ll get sick wandering around, dripping as you are.”

It takes you another full minute of pulling at his arm to get him moving, though at last, he steps foot inside the house where it all ended.


Do you feel it? My love for you? I don’t, really. Because loving you has become a part of me and my soul—like I was put here on the sole purpose of loving you. I was so used to this feeling that having it ripped away from me felt like ice cold and hot water thrown in my face at the same time. It felt like someone was trying to rip me to shreds from the inside—particularly from my heart.


“Here is a towel, and here a change of clothes.” You hand him the pieces of fabrics. “They’re my dad’s, but you two are similar sizes of giant, so I think it’ll fit.” Like you hoped, this raises a genuine smile to his lips, as he takes the clothes and the towel from you, nodding in appreciation.

“I’ll return them to you…someday,” he says, smiling sheepishly. Luke has a reputation of keeping borrowed things, but it doesn’t really matter anyways.

“Don’t worry about it, honestly. Now go change, I don’t want you staining our furniture,” you tell him, before turning around and walking towards the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna fix us some hot chocolate, of course. I sure hope you didn’t have seafood before this.” You grin at him.


“You’re gonna make us hot chocolate? Now?” You ask, laughing.

“Why not?” Luke asks, pulling the mugs out of the cupboard.

Jumping onto the counter, you cross your legs and roll your eyes at him as he places the mugs next to your thighs. “Uh, because we just had sea food! You’re gonna throw up.”

Me? If I have to go through this, then so do you!” he exclaims, laughing, nudging your knee with his hips.

“Excuse me?” You push him away, giggling. “I’m not an idiot! I know the outcome of this equation—I will not drink the hot chocolate!”

Luke ignores you, prepping the two drinks. Then he places one mug beside your thigh. His eyes hold a glint as he smirks. “Oh you will.”

“Not in a million years, Hemmings,” you say, laughing and jumping off the counter. “Why would I?”

Leaving his own mug beside yours, he comes at you slowly—the playful and somewhat also devilish glint still in his eyes. “Because if you do…I’m gonna promise you amazing sex tonight. Sex so amazing, you will never be the same. I’m telling you, babe.”

A snort bursts from your throat as you bend over and cannot contain the laughter in you. “You’re gonna bribe me with sex?” you ask, giving his chest a slap. But you don’t pull your hand away. Instead, you let it wander towards the crook of his neck up to the sides of his face and then you pull him down to you, so you can whisper something in his ear. “Babe. If I wanted, I could just tie you up and give myself the most ah-may-zing sex. I’m an independent ass bitch.”

All of the sudden, his arms are wound tightly around your waists, and your feet aren’t on the ground anymore. Your legs wrap around his hips automatically, as do your arms around his neck. Kisses are being trailed down your throat, as Luke walks you two out of the kitchen. “What about our hot chocolate, huh?” you ask, grinning.

“What hot chocolate?” He smiles at you sweetly, and then captures your mouth with his.


Awkward air engulfs you two, as you’re sitting side by side on the small couch, each one blowing at the hot chocolate, trying to quicken its cooling process—or maybe you were just avoiding the person sitting beside you, but who knows?

“Are you alright?” you begin, as you cannot take this god-damn silence any longer. “Tell me what’s going on.”

He lowers the mug slightly, smiling at you. “Like I said, I’m perfectly fine. Everything’s good.” He raises the hot chocolate to his lips and takes a rushed sip. “Fuck,” Luke curses, “that’s hot.”

Cocking your head to the side, you watch him lower the mug and stand up. “I’m just gonna…get myself a glass of water,” he says, pointing to your kitchen and wandering off without waiting for your reply.

Something is definitely wrong with him, you decide. The way he’s acting confuses you. Who the hell visits his ex-girlfriend just to tell her how fine he is? He’s somehow giddy and restless and exhausted at the same time, like he’s on edge. Like he cannot contain whatever’s going on inside him. The shadows underneath his eyes and the scruff on his jaw tells you he hasn’t slept well in a long time, but then again, he never slept long nor well. Luke’s always been a restless person—always working on something in his head or with his guitar. Sometimes he’d wake up in the middle of the night and have to write or else he’d forget the lyrics that sprung onto him in his dream. You loved being woken by a sleepy Luke and his guitar, though. You loved lying in the dark, listening to his raspy voice singing quiet words you knew were meant for you.

Somehow, you know that nowadays he doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night to write love songs about you anymore.


You once said, to be hurt means to be alive. For we cannot feel the hurt, if we aren’t alive and living and putting ourselves out there to be hurt. Well, I’ve spent the last months living. I was hurt. Or rather I am hurt. Everything hurts. Therefore I am, in fact, probably the most alive motherfucker on this planet right now, because it HURTS. What, you might ask? Not having you, is the answer. I love you. With every ounce of my being, with every beat of my heart and every breath I take, I entirely, fully and unconditionally love you.


“Please stay the night? It’s four in the morning and the storm doesn’t look like it’s about to pass anytime soon. You can take the guest room,” you say, wringing your hands in front of you. “It’s really no problem, and I’d feel a whole lot better, knowing you aren’t walking home right now.”

There’s another storm, and it’s in his eyes. He’s looking at the wall to your right, debating. You aren’t sure why it is such a hard decision for him to make, but you pray for him to stay. You will never forgive yourself, if he walks away now.

The seconds tick away, and finally, he nods once. “Okay,” he says, throwing you a shy smile. It surprises you, how after everything you two have already been through, he still has his shy moments. But this is just how Luke is, and you love this silent part about him.

Reaching your hand out, you wait for him to give you his mug, though, instead, he stands up as well. “I got it,” he says. “It’s the least I can do.”


Even to death, one might say.


She hands you the letter with her eyes lowered so you won’t see the tears in her eyes, but you do anyways. You’ve never seen her cry before. She’s someone you cannot even imagine how she’d look crying, because she is one of the happiest people you know, but now you do. You see the redness of the tender skin around and on her eyelids, the tremble of her lips and the crease between her eyebrows as she tries to hold the dam back. She looks smaller somehow. Like she doesn’t have enough energy to straighten her back. Like she is already focusing everything in her to keep herself from falling apart.

You don’t blame her. Rather you blame yourself.

Your hand comes up to wipe away a tear you haven’t noticed before. Between taking in her broken appearance and staring at the letter in her hand, you haven’t paid attention to your own body and emotions. Now that you reach for the letter, you notice the penetrating pain in your chest which keeps your lungs from working properly.

“Breathe, sweetheart,” Liz whispers softly. She presses the letter into your stomach, but instead of removing her hand after you clutch it with both of yours, she encloses it around your trembling ones and squeezes. One hand comes up to brush the hair from your face. It’s wet and sticky around your skin. “It wasn’t your fault,” she says firmly, her eyes a hard and genuine blue. Her palm stays against your cheek. You can feel her thumb soothingly wipe the continuous stream of tears away, as her own flows down her face.

And then she leans in and hugs you. Her arms come around your shoulders tightly, and she squeezes seemingly every emotion into you. And somehow she slowly squeezes yours out of you. And she rubs your back with one hand, shushing. She holds you, as both of you try to fix your hearts with this one hug.


Dear love,

You once said, to be hurt means to be alive. For we cannot feel the hurt, if we aren’t alive and living and putting ourselves out there to be hurt. Well, I’ve spent the last months living. I was hurt. Or rather I am hurt. Everything hurts. Therefore I am, in fact, probably the most alive motherfucker on this planet right now, because it HURTS. What, you might ask? Not having you, is the answer. I love you. With every ounce of my being, with every beat of my heart and every breath I take, I entirely, fully and unconditionally love you. Even to death, one might say.

Do you feel it? My love for you? I don’t, really. Because loving you has become a part of me and my soul—like I was put here on the sole purpose of loving you. I was so used to this feeling that having it ripped away from me felt like ice cold and hot water thrown in my face at the same time. It felt like someone was trying to rip me to shreds from the inside—particularly from my heart.

I was hurting before my heart was crushed—before you begin to think this was your fault. It wasn’t. This whole thing (us breaking up) started because of what I was going through. None of this is your fault. I never want you to feel that. I never wanted you to feel any of the hurt I felt, in fact, and I might burn in hell, if you are. I’m sorry, my love. I’m a selfish son of a bitch, and I couldn’t leave without seeing you for one last time. I cannot apologise enough.

Please forgive me.

Yours truly,
an angel (as of recently)

PS: That was me, trying to lighten the mood.

PPS: I love you.

PPPS: So so much.


“Call me, if you need anything, okay?” you tell him, helping him adjust the sweater of your father you’ve given him around his broad shoulders.

“Will do, love.” Your heart clenches at the nickname, but you solely smile. It feels good to hear it.

He looks at you with a look that causes your insides to churn and your legs to wobble. Then he leans down and presses a soft kiss to the space between your temple and forehead—something he does when he wants to kiss both at the same time, he once said. Turning on his heels, he quickly jumps down the steps of your front porch, leaving you to watch him walk away under the clear blue sky after a storm. It reminds you of the colour of his eyes.

a/n holy shit. i was—and still am—seriously debating whether or not i should put this online. the idea came to me after listening to missin’ you by the summer set for some unknown reason, as that song is not a sad song at all. i’m scared to put this out there, since it doesn’t have a happy ending. but then again, not all stories do. and i’m sure you know, this is purely fictional and i simply borrowed luke as a solely fictional character for a just as fictional story. 

as always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

much love. my inbox is open. always.


Here’s a little idea that I came up with a few days ago while thinking about the “my life as a romantic comedy” meme…

Dr. Catherine Halsey, renowned UNSC scientist, is in danger.
She is retired and living a peaceful life on a modest Sangheili neighborhood on 26th century California, but they have found her and they want her dead. The Covenant, humanity’s greatest alien enemy, has sworn to vaporize the good Doctor in revenge for her supposed crimes (which helped the humans to win the war) and for her own safety, the UNSC deployed a SPARTAN team to deal with the problem. For weeks, Blue Team has been in disguise expecting any kind of alien (or human) attack on Dr. Halsey, which also unfortunately means to cope with the old lady and her two eccentric daughters, Miranda and Cortana. However, Cortana might be the whole reason behind the threat and it’s up to John, one of the finest SPARTANS, to keep her safe… sometimes even from himself.
Join Humanity’s bravest and best as they settle in the empty house across the street and try to pass on for brothers and sisters recently moved into the neighborhood.


John-117 as THE TALL, BROODING, HANDSOME MALE PROTAGONIST. Facing a potential forced retirement due to an old injury, John is given his last chance to keep working for the UNSC. He was made to live in the line of fire and the perspective of retirement is as awful as it can get, but he sure wasn’t expecting this amount of bullshit. He’s a tenacious man of few words with little patience for stupidity and annoying neighbors. Especially children. And Dr. Halsey’s younger daughter, Cortana, because she constantly pisses him off with her witty comments.

Cortana as THE CUTE BUT WEIRD SMART GIRL SLASH FEMALE PROTAGONIST Dr. Halsey’s youngest, kind-of-hippie-but-actually-smart-and-hot-beyond-your-wildest-dreams daughter. She is the real target behind the Covenant’s threat and ultimately becomes John’s little shield and sword, since her wits more than once save everyone’s lifes. Literally she can’t stand him but deep down she has a really big soft spot for the big guy and only wants to understand him. She loves children and animals and making things blow up, also, she might or might not have discovered a very important secret that could destroy the Covenant forever.

Fred-104 as THE TEAM LEADER. UNSC Lieutenant Junior Grade Fred-104 was originally commissioned with the mission. He thinks he calls the shots but he doesn’t, he’s really the team’s mom, always looking after everyone else. He helps old ladies to cross the street and he’s even a decent cook. Seriously, he’s such a good guy that it’s annoying.

Kelly-087 as THE CUTE INNOCENT RABBIT being most likely the fastest SPARTAN alive, Kelly is quite spirited and the team’s absolute badass along with John; and like Fred, she cares about her teammates but more than once she misunderstands their feelings and ends up breaking uncomfortable havoc. She likes to make jokes that nobody understands.

Linda-058 as SNIPER GIRL she’s a quiet loner, most of the time she stands at the background, just staring. Always with a sniper rifle in hand, she barely leaves the house or her spot at the attic, from where she watches out for the street and Dr. Halsey’s house. Her only vocabulary consists in deadpans. She always takes the night shifts.

Charley K-90456 as JOHN’S SURVEILLANCE GADGET. UNSC enhanced war dog Charley is the perfect partner for long-term surveillance missions slash perfect decoy. If a German Shepherd of the size of an adult lion can be considered a decoy. John uses her as an excuse to patrol up and down the streets early at morning and late at night.

Dr. Catherine Halsey as THE TARGET quite-not-so-okay-in-the-head scientist slash miracle worker. A long time widow with some issues about personal space, personal morals and people by themselves. Sometimes she spaces out in the middle of a conversation and she strongly believes that she can solve all the problems in the world; which is why she keeps working in her secret basement’s lab against UNSC permission. She thinks John is a good boy and always invites him and his “siblings” for dinner, but she actually wants Fred to cook because she can’t even make a fried egg.

Miranda Keyes as THE POLITICALLY CORRECT DAUGHTER Dr. Halsey’s older daughter; she married Sergeant Avery Johnson of the Marine Corps and currently is on maternity leave because of her second child, having a vacation at her mother’s house while her husband is on duty. She is always in her right mind and full of older sister’s wisdom, but like her mother, sometimes she spaces out in the middle of conversations.


Jameson Locke and fire-team Osiris as THE TOP DOGS WHO LOOK DOWN ON OUR BELOVED BLUE BABIES. They act like a bunch of a***les but deep down they admire Blue Team and aspire to become as trustworthy and badass as them. Vale has a thing for Usze but she’s too shy to make a move.

Thomas Lasky as THE BOSS. He looks like a cinnamon roll, but he can kill you. And fire your ass. He protects John because they went to the Academy together.

Sarah Palmer as THE HARSH ASS SPARTAN COMMANDER. Like J. Jonah Jameson, she can’t decide if she likes Blue Team or if she wants to get rid of them forever, but since they always get the job done with the average amount of domestic damage, she ends up filing requests for more medals. She yells a lot and probably has a thing going on with Lasky but we can never confirm.

Thel Vadam as THE ALIEN NEIGHBOUR. A retired Covenant Shipmaster who traded secrets with the UNSC in exchange for a quiet, simple life with his wife. He’s the president of the Home Owners Association, doesn’t like SPARTANS stomping on his lawn and pretty much keeps to himself. Unless the SPARTAN’s dog decides to make a crater where his roses used to be or the newspaper doesn’t arrive in time every morning.

Rtas ‘Vaduum and Usze Taham as THE SECRET AGENTS acting as two Sangheili college students, Rtas and Usze are the backup team that most of the time fixes everyone else’s fuck ups. And boy, they fuck up a lot.

Jul 'Mdama as THE TRAITOR YOU NEVER EXPECTED Another neighbor. Enough said.

Kurt-051 as THE NOT SO DEAD FRIEND THAT THINKS HE’S TUXEDO MASK. He’s always in full armor so we really don’t know it’s Kurt until the end of the story, but he mysteriously appears and disappears in the middle of impossible combat situations, saving everyone’s asses from time to time.


Fire-team Majestic as THE BACKUP. Recurring characters with no personality whatsoever, they’re here just in case.

*Charley is my OC, get your hands off my dog.



I just really wanted to write some Angst but fluff at the end.

Warnings- Light swearing, bullying, someone being a dick

“You worthless piece of crap!” 

“You’re so stupid”

“You’re nothing”

“Really you thought we were friends, how pathetic”

“You should just leave. No one wants you here” 

You wince every time you remembered the horrible things people would say to you. The moon was shining through the dorm windows. You were lying face up on your bed. It was times like these that you would think. It was a horrible idea really, it kept you up and it brought your grades down from lack of sleep. This only made the bullying worse. You never told anyone you got bullied, not even your best friend Newt. He had better things to do than worry about you, or at least, that’s what you would tell yourself. 

Every day you would get tormented relentlessly. They would insult you, push you, they wouldn’t leave you alone. It was everybody. Everyone hated you. You felt tears returning, you bit your sleeve hoping you could stop the tears, your breathing got faster and your heart started racing. You got out of bed and sat on the windowsill to try to calm yourself. 

You had a view of a small little field, the moonlight shined on the grass. The wind was blowing slightly and it created a peaceful sensation in your mind. You calmed down and your breathing returned to normal. You were about to go back to bed when someone roughly threw you off the chair. You landed on the ground face first, you could feel your cheek bruising. You looked up and spotted on of your main Hufflepuff bullies, Briar. 

“Keep down your whining. Some of us are trying to sleep.” they spat at you. 

“S-sorry” you stuttered out, making your way back to your bed. 

Briar tripped you and you slammed face first into your bed post. Everyone started laughing at you, tears welled up in your eyes. You grabbed a blanket and dashed out of the common room.

”What are you gonna do go cry to your boyfriend?” Briar mocked as you sprinted out the door. 

You sat in front of the burnt-out fireplace. You wrapped your blanket around you and sat in the middle of the common room on the floor. Your cheek and eye were in pain. The only source of light was from the windows above. You couldn’t hold in your emotions, you burst out into a quiet sob. Your vision became blurry and you rested your head on your knees. You curled up into a sad ball on the floor. 

Unknowing to you, Newts bowtruckle, Pickett, who lived in a plant in the common room saw how upset you were. The little Bowtruckle hopped out of his plant and quickly made his way to Newts bed. Well, as quick as a bowtruckle could be. The Bowtruckled tapped on Newts face repeatedly until Newt woke up. 

“What do you want” Newt groaned out. He looked to his side to see Pickett chirping at him. 

“What is it Pick?” he asks sitting up. 

Pickett jumps off his bed and scurries towards the door and Newt reluctantly follows. As he nears the common room he hears crying. When he finally reached the common room all he saw was a person rolled up into a ball. The person didn’t notice him yet, they looked up at the windows. Newt’s eyes widened as he saw who it was. The moonlight shined on your face, giving Newt a perfect view of your bruises and tears. 

“Y/n?” he whispers out. 

Your head looks in the direction of the voice. You start crying harder once you see who it is. You never wanted Newt to know what you go through. 

“No no please don’t cry.” he says as he rushes to your side. he hugs you tightly, letting you cry on his shoulder. 

Once your tears let up Newt carefully examined you injuries. 

“Who did this to you” Newt demanded, a hint of sadness laced in his voice. 

“I fell.” you lied. 

Newt gives you a look, “I’m your best friend Y/n I know when your lying. Now please, tell me who did this” Newt pleaded. 

You looked away from newt and up at the moon again. 

“Briar” you mumbled out. 

Newt’s eyes flared with anger, “Why on earth would he do this to you” he questioned. 

“I don’t know” you stated. 

“Are you sure you don’t know?” Newt pressured. 

“NO! I don't know! I don’t know why everyone seems to hate me so much. I get bullied constantly Newt. By everyone! Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Gryffindor, and Ravenclaw. I don’t know why!” You cried out, not caring if you woke someone up. 

Newt looked at you, anger and sadness flickered back and forth in his eyes. 

“How long?” He asked. 

“Almost 3 years” you whispered. 

Newt stood up and walked away from you. At first, you thought he was angry with you but when you heard him start to pace and sniff, you knew he was mad at himself. “How could I let this happen?” he murmured mostly to himself. 

“I-It’s not your fault.” you say trying to comfort him. 

“You’re my best friend, I should have known. I should have stopped it” he replied. 

Newt was absolutely furious with himself, he loved you with all his heart and seeing you so broken made his heart ache. 

“I didn’t want to worry you” You say. 

“Worry me? You’re getting injured and insulted on a daily basis and you’re worried about me” Newt asked. 

You looked at him and cracked half a smile, “I guess yeah” you croaked out. 

Newt walked back over to you and sat next to you. 

“I love you but you can be so stupid sometimes” Newt joked as he hugged you tightly. 

“Yeah yeah I know” you reply. Newt cautiously strokes your cheek, where the bruise was forming. 

“i have some cream, that will help your bruises” Newt murmurs. 

You put your hand on his wrist and smiled at him. he leaned down and kissed your cheek. Newt quickly ran up to his dorm and grabbed a few things. He came back with the cream, a blanket, and a pillow. 

“What’s the blanket for?” you ask. 

“I don’t want you down here alone” Newt replies simply. 

“Newt I don’t want-” You start, Newt cuts you off with another kiss before applying the cream on your cheek. 

“I’m staying with you, no argument” Newt states. 

After he finishes applying the cream he sets up a makeshift bed and lays next to you. You lay down next to him and snuggle next to him. Newt forms a protective barrier hug around you while you fall asleep. You both sleep soundly and peacefully. 

“What the hell?!” You and Newt jolt awake. It’s morning and in front of you stands Briar. 

“You know Newt, you don’t need to be nice to this loser.” they said looking at you with a glare. You shrink back behind Newt. 

Newt’s anger rises, “Don’t talk to them like that” Newt spits. 

“Woah there Scamander, I’m just trying to save whats left of your dignity” Briar replies. 

“My dignity is just fine thank you very much. Now I suggest you leave y/n alone before something bad happens” Newt states. 

Briar laughs, “Like what, your stupid creature would poke me to death”. 

“No like this little guy right here” newt says pulling out a new creature. 

I was in a little cocoon that hung off his finger. 

“Your joking right?” Briar scoffed. 

They turned and laughed to their friends. Newt flicked his wrist and the tiny cocoon turned into a large green and blue beast. The beast went for Briar and bared its teeth. Briar and their friends ran away screaming. Newt made a sound and the creature came back to him, returning to it’s cocoon form. Newt looked back at you with a devilish grin on his face. 

“What is that?” you ask. 

“Swooping Evil” Newt says grinning. 

“Well, I love it!” you squealed. 

“I wasn’t planning on showing him off just yet but I couldn’t resist” Newt explained. 

“They shouldn’t bother you anytime soon, and if they do. Well, they know what to expect” Newt continues. You hug him tightly. 

“Thank you Newt. I love you so much” you mumbled into his chest. 

“I love you too, love” Newt replies hugging you back. 

“I better but him away before we get in trouble.” Newt says gesturing to the Swooping Evil. You intertwine your hand with Newts. 

“Then we better get going.”

It’s midnight, I should be asleep but instead I’m watching a playthrough if a horror game.

anonymous asked:

I have a request if you may, if you do write that blurb about Harry using his fingers to sooth his baby could it be about one of the other little munchkins besides Persephone? I feel like there's already so much written about her. I wanna see Alfie or the twins! I hope you don't read this as me being rude, because that's not my intention at all!

I completely understand where you’re coming from, my lovely. And quite personally, it gets a bit boring when I write about Persephone all the time so it’s always fun to mix things up and write about the other Styles children. x


“Hey, little man. Hey, wha’s all these tears for, hm?” Harry cooed, his bare feet stepping onto the plush white carpet of the nursery. His white t-shirt and a pair of loose boxers adorned his figure as his fists rubbed at the sleep lingering in his eyes, a yawn leaving his mouth as he wandered closer to the cot set in the far corner of the nursery. “I should be sayin’ good mornin’, you cheeky bugger. I shouldn’t be up at this time o’the mornin,” Harry chuckled, sleep lacing his voice.

Other than being found in the nursery with Alfie’s small frame tucked into the crook of his arm, Harry would usually be found sprawled out on top of the mattress in the master bedroom, beneath the plush white duvet with your head resting against his chest and his arms wrapped around your entirety. One of your palms pressed to his chest, just below his nipple, whilst your other was splayed across your stomach. Both yours and his legs entwining together sub-consciously with each twist and roll occurring through the night, feet knocking against one another with an occasional shiver running up his spine each time your cold feet came into contact with his warm ones; which you found oddly bizarre due to his legs being too long for the duvet and having the area below his ankles exposed to the cool atmosphere of the bedroom. His toes curling with each stretch he felt coursing through his body, soft grunts and yawns leaving his mouth as he tried to get as comfortable beside you, his head pressing into the pillow. His hair knotted at his scalp yet hanging loosely, splayed out in all directions on the cotton pillow-case.

Yet, for the past few days, Harry hadn’t be found in that position beside you, but rather being found taking the night duties to let you sleep, gathering the rest you needed after a couple of days of looking after a bumbling and energetic 5 year old as well as a baby that needed your attention - something Harry missed due to meetings and popping into the studios to hand in song notes to those he was writing for. An array of hopes running through his mind when he heard his little boy release one cry, hoping that it was just Alfie’s baby teeth poking through his gums that was disrupting him and causing him discomfort through the night, rather than his want for food to suppress the appetite in his little belly; food that would come from you, unless a bottle had been pumped the previous night. 

To his luck of not wanting to wake you for a feeding required what Harry lacked in the chest area, an area that the tiny hands of his little boy was scouring Harry’s chest for. With each cuddle to Harry’s t-shirt covered chest, it was evident that Alfie’s gums were swollen and red, and his hands were in tight fists that rubbed against his jaw. 

And it was when Harry knew it was his the high point of his first tooth poking through the gum.

“Are you gettin’ teeth through, little man? You’re goin’ t’have a set of white gnashers like daddy soon, hm?” He laughed deeply, his hands scooping beneath his 4 month old son, and lifting him to his chest. “Little man, I need you to stop cryin’ otherwise mummy and P are goin’ t’ wake up,” he cooed softly, cradling the small baby boy to his chest. Soft whimpers and mewls leaving Alfie’s lips as his head tucked beneath Harry’s chin. “Hey, little man. C’mon, now.”

His barefooted steps carried him across the carpet, his hands holding Alfie as supportive as he could make it to keep his little boy against his chest. His little legs bent with his tiny toes curling and pressing into the flesh of Harry’s t-shirt covered belly, Harry’s hand cupping his bum with his other supporting his neck, holding his head against his collar bone to try and lessen the sounds leaving Alfie’s mouth. With each quiet and dainty step he took, he found himself getting closer to the rocking chair set up beneath the nursery window. The almost transparent curtains catching the wind, the street-lamps on the street below filtering through into the darkened room and causing silhouettes with each movement he made.

Bending down as carefully as he could, he set himself in the rocking chair, his heels pushing against the floorboards to give him some motion. Letting the chair rock on it’s own as Harry cooed and let out soft ‘ssh’s into his ears, almost inaudible over the cries and the whines emitting from Alfie.

“Oh, little man. I’m sorry this is so painful. I wish I could take this from you, bud. I’m sorry,” Harry whispered, the tips of his curls tickling at Alfie’s head. “Oh, Alfie. C’mon, buddy, m’not sure what to do. We don’t have a teethin’ ring in the freezer for you,” Harry sighed, the palm supporting the small baby patting sub-consciously in hopes that it quietened the cries leaving his throat. “Y’definitely have daddy’s lungs, hm? Y’goin’ to be a singer when your older, yeah?”

Growing up from the age was sure he knew what he wanted to pursue in the future, Harry always knew what he’d wanted to be. He was never swayed into his decision and he was never forced into using his voice in another matter other than talking.

With extra support coming from not only his mother and his father, but the two step-dads he had gotten to know through his childhood. A singer was something he was dead-set upon choosing as a career, and it was a natural response when asked what he wanted to do after school. Harry, with him being the topic of young stories told by Anne on multiple occasions t family get-togethers, would be found in the living room using make-shift microphones with his dad’s vinyl records playing softly around the room. His voice filtering around, off-key yet in tune at the majority of the song. And it was in those moments where he felt unseen and not the centre of attention, not only his mother but everyone who had heard him sing knew he was going to go far, and he was determined to make them proud.

“But, I’ll let you know now,” Harry whispered, “me and mummy will always be supportive of you career choices, Alfs. F’you want to be a performer on stage, we’ll be there to support you the entire way and f’you want to go into the army then me and mummy will always be there behind you. We won’t force you into what we want you to do, okay?” Harry cooed, his lips brushing over the smooth forehead of the baby snuggling yet crying against his chest. Alfie’s wet cheeks and his plump lips pressed against the showing collar-bones protruding from the neck line of the shirt adorning his chest.

As the minutes passed and the cries increased, almost louder than they were at the time Harry had entered the nursery, he found that the position he was keeping his son in was no help in calming him down. Shuffling the 4 month old onto his forearms, Harry shifted his baby-grow covered body onto the stops of his thighs, the hems of his loose boxers crumpled beneath Alfie’s bum.

“’ere we go, little man. S’that more comfortable?” Harry cooed, his bare feet pressed to the floor with a little bounce emitting from his limbs as he tickled her fingers across the plump belly beneath the soft blue material of the baby-grow you had dressed Alfie in once Harry had bathed him; with the help of Persephone along side him, passing him the baby shower gel and the talcum powder when Harry was in need of it. “I can see you a little tooth. Yes, I can, you little bugger,” Harry grinned sleepily, blowing a strand of hair from his face as it dropped within his eyesight. 

A strand that had become a nuisance since it became longer and had missed a couple of haircut appointments that had been scheduled and rescheduled and end up being missed due to the stresses of the second pregnancy you were experiencing. Each craving you had experienced, Harry would attend to them. Each ache and pain you felt, Harry would try to soothe and comfort you as best as he could. Each pregnancy class you had scheduled, he would join you even though you had gone through one pregnancy and had ended up with a little girl that had grown up perfectly. With him missing his haircut appointments to make sure he was hygienic and up to scratch with looking his age, he had gone back to his hair growing to a unruly length with dead ends and dried roots becoming visible through the day with a tug as well as a hand running through to keep from his face.

A strand that had been something Alfie had enjoyed tugging on when it came into his reach. His fingers curling around the chocolate locks and tugging until he watched Harry writhe in pain and try his hardest to pry the tiny hands off. It wasn’t unfamiliar to ears to hear a groan and a soft scold from Harry, followed by giggles and laughter, until you ended up realising the hold on his hair was not loosening anytime soon. And you were sure that one morning, you were going to see the fistful of Harry’s hair in the tight fist of your small son, the cheeky smile that replicated his fathers emitting from his lips.

“Alfie, little man, m’not sure what to do for you. I know this is painful and I wish I could take the pain away,” he sighed, his chest aching as he listened to his son crying, feeling helpless as he tried to soothe him in anyway possible, in anyway that came across his mind. “Y’not like y’sister, you bugger. Y’know, she used to fall asleep in my arms every time I picked her up and rocked her around the room. You’re a handle, m’telling you. But, I wouldn’t change it f’the world,” he whispered, running the side of his curled forefinger down his sons cheek, the cries becoming less and less and decreasing in volume.

And that was when it dawned upon a sleepy mind what would soothe his little boy.

“Well, now I know what I need t’do, little man,” Harry chuckled, the warm feeling of Alfie’s gums unfamiliar and unusual against the pads of his fingers. “S’not what I had planned for this time o’the morning, y’know? By now, I’d be snuggled with mummy in bed, ready to wake up at 6 to feed you,” he stated, tapping the button nose of his little boy. “But, it’s almost 4 in the mornin’ and I’m bondin’ with you as you chew on my fingers for comfort,” he chuckled lowly, his chest rumbling as he prayed the loud sound emitting from his lips didn’t filter down the hallway through the cracked-open door of the nursery.

With his back to the door, he was unaware of his eldest baby appearing between the crack and pushing the door open softly. Her silhouette dark behind him, with her face illuminating from the light of the street-lamp peeking through the curtains, her figure shuffling weight as she changed ankles. 

It wasn’t unusual for her to wake up when Alfie woke. She was unaccustomed to the life of having a newborn in the house, and being 5, she wasn’t able to comprehend the consequences of what a new-born baby could bring to the home, behind closed doors from the streets outside. Persephone herself, at Alfie’s age, was the same when it came to teeth poking through and when it came to ear aches and chesty coughs. She reacted the way any new-born baby would, and Harry and yourself would try everything you could to soothe her and make sure she was comfortable, just like she watched you do for Alfie.


“Hey, poppet. You shouldn’t be up,” Harry cooed, a smile on his lips, turning his head over his shoulder to see his sleepy and fatigued looking 5 year old standing and taking in the sight in front of her. The hems of her white and cotton pyjama trousers covering her feet and the short sleeves of her t-shirt rolled up and crumpled beneath her arms. “Wha’s the matter?”

“Alfie woke me, daddy. He cries really loudly,” she sighs, shuffling further into the room and standing beside the rocking chair that Harry had occupied himself in. Her head dropping to his shoulder, his head tilting to rest against the top of hers, as they stayed content and silent with their eyes looking at the bewildered looking baby. Alfie’s green eyes wide with his eyesight dancing around the room, taking in his surroundings. “Why is he up?”

“Alfie’s got some painful gums, poppet. His baby teeth are coming through, just like you did when you were this small,” Harry explained, lifting his head and looking to her with a soft smile. 

Her hair, the same colour as yours with a soft and smooth look to it, was beginning to fall from the bun he had put her hair into before she fell asleep, her complaints of the strands tickling her neck and getting in her mouth wearing him down as well as the pout she sported. Her dainty hands gripping at his and playing with his fingers as he stayed perched on the tiny pink chair he’d moved from her tea-party table beneath her bedroom window, to the side of her bed. With a chuckle and a nod, he pulled a hairband from his wrist and gathered her hair into a ponytail, wrapping the band around it in a secure hold.

“Did you have to rub my gums like you do to Alfie?” She questioned, her voice in a soft whisper. “Did I cry like Alfie does?”

“You cried a lot louder than Alfie did, poppet. But, we didn’t mind. You were our first little baby and me and mummy experienced it together, so, by the time you were just 2 months old, we were accustomed to when you’d wake and cry for us,” Harry chuckled, looking down at his little boy squirming on his thighs. “As for rubbing your gums, I did that a lot for you too, poppet. There were many times that mummy caught me and you sitting on the sofa downstairs, very early in the morning,” he smiled, the feeling of Persephone’s arm snaking around his neck making his tummy fill with love. “I did this a lot for you, poppet. And, I’m always here for you in the future when you need me. Much like I was there for you when you were this tiny,” Harry stated, looking to Alfie.

“I was this tiny?”

“Y’know somethin’, poppet? You were so tiny. Much tinier than Alfie was when he was born,” he whispered, pressing his lips to the top of her head. “You could fit in the palm of my hand. You were that small,” Harry smiled.

Almost 6 years ago, his world changed for the good. Once his tiny little girl was placed into his arms and with the word daddy leaving the nurses lips as well as your own, he felt his heart clench and his eyes begin to water. Compared to his features and the size ratio to his height, she looked almost minuscule and tiny, and she looked delicate and fragile and Harry knew that if he dropped her at any point or knocked her foot or little fist then it would shatter into pieces. 

A size that made her seem like she could fit in the palm of his hand perfectly.

“Daddy, your hands are really gigantic,” Persephone giggled, covering her lips with her little hand as she looked at him, a dramatic yet playful gasp leaving his mouth as his eyebrows furrowed.

“They’re not gigantic, Miss Styles,” Harry grumbled, wrapping his free arm around his waist and hugging her as close and as comfortably as he could with the arm of the rocking chair set between them. “Although, the bigger they are, the better the tickles,” Harry chuckled against her ear. 

“No, daddy. Not right now. Alfie’s sleepin’,” she pointed out, her voice quiet with a finger held to her lips. “Alfie’s sleepin’, daddy. His teeth don’ hurt anymore,” she smiled, watching as Harry pulled his index finger from between Alfie’s lips. A soft whine following a string of saliva emitting from between his lips, before he fell back into a sleep, ready to be set back down in his cot to sleep through the rest of the morning.

Standing up shortly after, he made his way to the cot with Persephone hot on his heels. Her arms wrapping around his thigh as he hunched over and carefully set his little boy down on the soft padding-like mattress, curling his fingers around the blue knitted blanket made by his mother over the nine months you had carried him, tucking him up cosily and securely to make sure he stayed warm and covered through the night. The stuffed animals and the personalised pillows set up at the end of the cot, with one set beside him as a go-to-comfort. 

“Now, let’s go and tuck you back in bed, poppet. You’ve got a busy day with Uncle Louis and Freddie tomorrow,” Harry grunted, lifting his 5 year old up and setting her on his hip as comfortably as he could for his back. “Y’know, daddy won’t be able t’do this much longer. Y’gettin’ too big for me t’pick you up now,” he sighed, her arms wrapping his neck with her fingers clasping together at the top of his shoulder blades. 

“Daddy, m’not too big. M’only 5,” she sighed, dropping her head to his shoulder and closing her eyes. “Uncle Louis can still pick me up,” she whispered.

“But, Uncle Louis doesn’t have a bad back, does he?”

“He does always complain about having an aching back though, daddy. When he took me and Freddie back to his home from the park the other day, he said he had a sore back and that he was going to have a bath when I left,” she explained, her feet coming into contact with her duvet as Harry hunched over and set her down on her bed. “But, he doesn’t have to go to the oscaropath like you, daddy.”

‘Y’mean the osteopath, poppet?” Harry chuckled, reaching for the shorter side of the duvet to bring over and cover her body. “Get some sleep, poppet. You’ve got a busy day at the zoo and you can’t fall asleep when you go see the animals,” he chuckled, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I love you, Persephone.”

“Stay wi’ me, daddy?” 

“Poppet, I can’t. You need to sleep on your own,” Harry reasoned, running his palm over the top of her head. “And if Alfie starts crying again, I’m going to need to rush out and I don’t want to wake you up trying to get out of bed,” he added, giving her a sleepy smile. “We can always nap tomorrow when you come home, okay?”

“Bu’ daddy, please?” She pouted, her green eyes wide and her face illuminated and lit up by the night-light plugged in beside the beside, a Frozen themed night-light emitting purples and blues onto the ceiling. “Jus’ want to cuddle wi’ you. You always spend time with Alfie and cuddle with Alfie,” she groaned, jutting her bottom lip out in hopes it tugged at the heartstrings of her father; something that she knew would wear him down.

“Alright, alright. But, just f’tonight, okay?”

With a sigh and a soft smile on his lips, he hitched a leg up onto her bed, bringing his other up onto the mattress and falling slowly beside her, nudging and nestling himself between the beige wall her bed was pressed against and her body that fell lax once his body was beside her. Her pink duvet was brought up to his chest, which settled below Persephone’s chin, with her stuffed bunny he had brought for her the day she was born pushed between the two of them. The room fell silent, with the soft sounds of her breathing being clear to Harry’s ears as he closed his eyes.

“I love you, daddy.”

“I love you too, poppet,” Harry smiled softly, her small body curling up into his side with her legs latching in a grip around his thigh. Her head resting on his chest with Harry’s resting against the top of hers, one arm tucked around her with his palm set flat on her back. His index finger drawing patterns on her back in a soothing motion that had her flat-out and sleeping after moments of being beside her, with his other arm slung across his duvet-covered belly, limply with his bones lose and lax. His feet were poking out from the end of her duvet, hanging uncomfortably over the edge of the mattress, but without a care in the world crossing his mind because his little girl was curled beside him in a position that stayed throughout the night without a change in movements.

A position you had found them in the following morning.

A position that you hadn’t the heart to interrupt.

A position that made your heart melt.

Request: Too Stubborn For Your Own Good

Request: Could you do something where Deanxreader are married and expecting their first child. Reader insists on being involved with the job, but goes into labor early. Hours away from help, Dean has to help deliver the baby. Thanks!!

Word Count: 1,418

I hope you like it, thank you! Have a lovely day!<3

“Wait, you’re leaving? Again?” You ask, pulling yourself to your feet. It’s not so easy these days, but the prospect of Dean disappearing off to some god-forsaken back country road to kill monsters is enough motivation to propel you out of your seat.

“Y/N, sit-“

“Don’t tell me to sit down. You’re leaving again. Why?” You’re done with the bullshit, and you can’t be bothered to listen to his excuses.

“There’s a job. I’ll be gone two days, three at the most, and then I’m done.” He promises, laying his hands on your shoulders. You frown at him, shaking your head.

“You said that last time.”

“I promise, Y/N. This hunt and then no more until the baby’s here, okay?” He reaches down, laying his hand over your (frankly ridiculous) bump. You’re just over eight months along.

“Why do you have to go?” You ask pitifully – you don’t mean to guilt him, but it’s insane how you can go from demanding to miserable so quickly, “I hate being on my own.”

“You’re not on your own.” He frowns, gently moving his hand over your bump in the hopes of feeling a kick, “Cas can check in with you every couple hours. You’ll be fine, I’ll be home before you know it.”

“Cas? As much as I love him, I want you. There’s a reason I married you, not him.” You say, pulling away from him, “It’s okay, you go. But I’m coming too.”


“I’m coming.” You say, folding your arms atop your bump, “I’m sure as hell not hunting but I’ll research and hang out with you guys and get food and whatever. I’m not staying here on my own, Dean. Not anymore. Not so close to the baby coming.”

“You’ve still got, like, a month to go.” Dean frowns, and you shrug.

“There are some days I can hardly stand up. I’m coming with you, or you don’t go at all.” You lay it out for him simply, and after a moment, he nods.

“Fine. But we do it by my rules. I tell you to stay in the motel, you stay in the damn motel, okay?” He demands, totally serious. You nod.



“Everything okay back there?” Dean asks for what must be the thousandth time. You tear your gaze away from the window, where you’re been revelling at the familiarity of the open road, to nod at him in the rear-view mirror.

“I’m golden.” You shoot a grin at him and Sam in the front – you’ve missed this more than you’d care to admit. You haven’t been out with the guys since you his the six month mark – not hunting, which you stopped as soon as you found out you were pregnant – and two months is a long time to be cooped up, especially for someone like you who’s used to adventure and new sights every day.

“You’d better be. Tell me if you’re gonna throw up, ‘cause you’re sure as hell not doing it in my car.” He instructs, but you can see the smile on his face from here.

“Will do.”

You tuck your legs up on the seat beside you and crank the window down a little, letting the air rush against your face and blow your hair back.

Oh, baby. I can’t wait for you to see the world like this. You think, laying a hand over your swollen stomach and smiling to yourself.


“Hey, Y/N, I brought-“ Dean cuts himself off, seeing that you’re not at the desk where he left you – your books are still there, and your notes are there – hell, even your cold, half-finished coffee is still there, “Y/N?”

“Bathroom!” Your reply comes, too quiet. When Dean makes it over there, you’re leant over the bathroom sink, breathing shakily.

“What the hell? Y/N, are you-?” He reaches out, but you jerk back.

“Don’t! I’m okay.” You insist, and when you look up at him, your face is bloodless and your hands are noticeably trembling, “It’s okay. It’ll pass.”

“What’s going on?”

“I- I don’t know.” You admit, taking a shallow breath, “I think it’s just those false contraction things. I’m fine.” You insist.

“You’re in pain.” Dean states sceptically, and you shake your head.

“I was. I’m okay now.” You say, straightening yourself up and taking a deep breath, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you should sit down for a while.” Dean suggests, and you nod slowly.

“Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea.” You agree, and you let him help as you hobble back over to the bed. He talks to you about how Sam will be back in a couple of hours and he’s going to bring food, but he said he’d come back to be with you. However, you make is halfway across the room and your knees buckle as a shredding, tearing pain shrieks through your stomach. You cry out, and Dean only just catches you before you hit the floor.

“Y/N?!” He starts looking you over, thinking you’re ill – and then it hits him, “Oh my god, you’re in labour.”

“What? No, I’m – I’m fine!” You grimace, shaking your head. He scoops you up, bridal style, and lays you on the bed.

“Y/N, this isn’t normal. I’m gonna call 911, you sit tight.”


“Sit. Tight.” He says firmly and you do as he says, but only because you don’t think you physically could get up right now. You curl in around yourself, trying to block out the pain – you’ve felt pain before, obviously, but nothing like this. It’s internal and fingering out with white-hot tendrils, seeming to reach the ends of your fingers and toes.

“Dean…” You groan – he’s on the phone, somewhere across the room. As the pain slowly dies off, you hear him getting irate with the guy on the other end.

“What do you mean, it’ll be two hours? What kind of bullshit is that?!” He snaps, looking over at you helplessly, “She’s in pain! I don’t think we have that long!”

He pauses, before flinging his hands up in anger, “You’re sorry?! You’ll be damn sorry when I-“

“Dean, stop.” You snap at him, sitting up, “Quit shooting at the damn messenger and get your ass over here.”

He glares at the phone before hanging up, and crossing over to you.

“Y/N… okay. So… dammit!” He curses, raking a hand through his hair, “I’ve never- okay.” Rallying himself around, he straightens his back and places a hand on your shoulder, “How long has this been going on?”

“Since this morning.” You admit, “They’re about five or ten minutes apart, and they suddenly just got a lot stronger.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t think it was important. I thought I had time.” You shake your head, running a hand through your hair, “What do we do?”

“Well, since it’s Sunday, the GP isn’t open and the hospital is two hours out, but I don’t think we have that sort of time.” He says, sitting gingerly beside you, “I’m gonna call Sam. He can bring some blankets.”

“Wait, you’re seriously-“

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”


“Hey, hey, Y/N,” Dean shakes your shoulder gently, bringing you up from where you’d slumped against the pillows, “Look!”

“Is… is she okay?” You ask, still trying to catch your breath. He nods.

“I think so. She’s crying and moving and she’s pretty strong.” He smiles proudly, helping to place the baby in your arms. He wraps the blanket around you, and another over your shoulders, “Well done, babe.” He kisses your damp forehead and you smile, leaning into him.

“I don’t think I’d be faring so well without you here.” You reply, and he sits down, looking between you and your baby girl with a sense of wonder. Sam went to get some basic baby supplies about a half hour ago, and you’re expecting him to burst in the door any moment now, so you savour the moment with just the three of you. Her eyes are closed and she seems to have settled for the moment, but you don’t mind – it only seems to add to the perfection and tranquillity of the situation.

“Thank you.” You whisper, taking a deep breath, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He grins, revelling in the perfection of his little family. His arms wrap around you and he just holds you there for a little while, until Sam returns and the ambulance finally arrives, blaring sirens and all.


Come on, love, draw your swords


A/N: Just a little post episode thing to tell my writer’s block it’s not the boss of me. And also cause it’s been three days since the episode and I can’t stop thinking of these two muppets.

Inside you’ll find visions and snuggles and swords.



It stings through her arms.

Every clash of the blade is heavy, erring on the side of too heavy, and her muscles shiver under the brunt. But it doesn’t stop. It can’t. If it does…

Emma simply has to up the ante.

One clang is followed by another, then a prang, a headlong slice as swift as she can make it; each blow pursued by yet another – from her, from the hooded figure. Every clattering shwing a burden on her strength.

(Both her physical and her emotional.

She’s seen this too many times, this exact sequence of events – she’s afraid of where she knows it leads.)

It doesn’t help that she can see her family racing towards her out of the corner of her eye, four darkly shadowed people through a bluey mist. But she has to duck, grit her teeth together and carry on, to let the sharp clatter of the fight ring in her ears.

The sharp clattering of her impending end, the Saviour’s end.

In Korea they say ‘fighting’ instead of ‘good luck’, or so she’d been led to believe by the girl from Seoul who slept in the bunk below hers when she was fourteen. Emma had always liked the message in that motivation. It gave someone the strength to believe in themselves, to power through on their own merits and know that no magical entity was going to do it for them. Both successes and failures were of your own making.

There are no magic pills in this world.

Strangely enough, she wishes it was the opposite way around this time.

Keep reading

from-severalrooms-away  asked:

We're not happy. We fell in love and everything was amazing, but now that initial magic is fading, and we're just "in love." Everyone's always told me that was harder, and I don't know how to do it. We both want forever and we want to be happy, but we fight over everything. All small, unimportant things. He's developed chronic pain over this past year and that makes everything worse. We're tired of running and we're lost, but we don't want to give up. Is there hope for us? What can we do?

i have some friends that went through something similar (their boyfriends suffered from depression/anxiety/mental shit). unfortunately, their relationships didn’t have a happy ending… so i won’t be sharing their stories with you (since you guys really want to make it work). instead, i’ll share some techniques/strategies that i believe will help you. are you ready for them? yes. ok, onward… t1# anytime you guys fight/argue, i want one (or both) of you to say “chocolate bananas! frozen chicken butts!” the first thing that will happen is the both of you will start laughing. this is important b/c it will interrupt the pattern immediately & stop the record from playing. you see, most couples that fight a lot eventually make it a habit; they actually get addicted to the adrenaline rush they get from fighting/arguing. i’ve seen this a million times - especially at bars. so you need to defuse the situation before it blows up. and the best way to do that is to have some random funny words stashed in your batman utility belt. remember, it must be funny - that way you both get a dopamine release when you stop & that reinforces that behavior (makes change easier). the next thing you want to do is ask each other this question: “why are we fighting/arguing?” you cannot respond with “i don’t know.” you must figure out what sparked it & address it immediately. ask each other this “what can we do to prevent/resolve this?” i would always have a pen handy to take notes. again, the dopamine release is very important b/c who wants to fix something when they’re angry? you got it? good! t2# fuck forever! do you remember when your english teacher would give you 3 weeks to write a paper? and do you remember how you waited until the last minute to actually write the paper? well the same thing happens with couples who adopt the “forever” mindset. there’s no sense of urgency to change and they kinda get lazy after a while and shit gets stale, fast. there’s no life, no fire, no passion. fuck you forever! instead, i want you to replace it with this: “today is our last day together.” i will tell you this… if your partner knew it was gonna be your last day together then he would do everything in his power to make it the most beautiful day ever. so when you wake up, you guys look at each other in bed & say “babe, today’s our last day. let’s go conquer the world together. you and i.” i guarantee you that no couple would fight on their last day together. and if they did… that shit was never meant to be. period. so take it one day at a time. make each day the best day ever. i promise you that after stringing together a bunch of awesome/amazing/supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (lol) days… then that shit gets easier and it becomes a habit and every day becomes an adventure for the both of you. i believe with every cell in my body that every relationship (and i mean every) should be fun. it doesn’t matter how old you are. i have a good friend in her 60’s who treats everyday like it’s her last & she’s having a blast. we saw a cover band (boomers) the other day & i got her drunk off cock sucker shots (baileys/butterscotch schnapps) & we danced our asses off to 70’s/80’s music. that’s how life should be. are you still with me? great - next! t3# you both need to get healthy. seriously. get fucking healthy. i believe diet is the most important thing for mental health (second being magic mushr00ms - but we can’t go there, not yet). he has chronic pain, that tells me one thing - that whatever he’s putting in his body or is being exposed to is causing inflammation in his body. now before i continue… you need to understand i’m not a doctor so my advice shouldn’t substituted for medical advice? if you agree, then continue reading… the first thing he needs to do is order a food allergy test kit or he can go to his doctor & have them draw his blood & send it in to get tested. i used to be a raw vegan many years ago. i did it for 3+ years to detox all the junk i used to eat as a kid. when i first started i used to eat a ton of raw almonds. but i’d get brain fog & headaches after eating them. i thought something was wrong with me so i went to my doctor & he ran some blood tests on me. we found out that i was highly allergic to milk, almonds, cheese, wheat & other tree nuts. that blood test saved my life. b/c after i stopped the almonds… my mind/body/soul were happy. i would research the lectin avoidance diet. that could definitely help him b/c lectins are plant toxins (highly concentrated in wheat/soy/brown rice/beans) that cause leaky gut. and a leaky gut is the #1 reason why many suffer from depression, anxiety, anger and chronic pain/fatigue. again, get the blood tests and start cutting out foods rich in lectins and definitely cut out sugar. you both should walk for 20 minutes in the morning. gets some fresh air & enjoy each others company without distractions. i believe long walks will help to strengthen your bond. get healthy. get healthy. get healthy. and if after all this……… you guys are still butting heads. then i’d seek counseling or just cut your losses and move on. you’re probably young. if that’s the case then your primary focus should be on your career and having fun. you’re not gonna be young forever so you should enjoy those years of your life. also, there’s gonna be a lot of competition in the future (and less jobs). you wanna make sure you have the skill sets to land & keep a job. there’s nothing worse then being in a miserable relationship and being broke at the same time. hope that helps. ~rob p.s. look into mold & smart meters. those things could be fucking him up big time. if that’s the case, then he should move.

Joel (Vinesauce) Sentence Meme
  • : --|) Send one and see how my muse reacts!
  • "It's a little old, ____."
  • "He has like, spikes too, right?"
  • "God, I can't stand it, even ironically."
  • "The trick is to just spam it."
  • "Oh god, my poor computer..."
  • "How about... Expand Dong?"
  • "I'll show you all the bestality porn to corrupt you."
  • "This is like the olden days of ____, where you just _____."
  • "Now we got that we gotta add some WACKY EFFECTS."
  • "Safe installer? Probably the safest installer in the world."
  • "Still up after all these years, what the hell..."
  • "And my friend with no talent, he would always ____."
  • "Kup teraz!"
  • "More like my credit card information."
  • "Love the sound of that."
  • "It's like it's a nuke about to blow off and we're sitting here at the safe distance."
  • --> [ CORPSE IN THE FRIDGE ] <--
  • "With my wah."
  • "I don't care what anyone else thinks, I think you're hot."
  • "Oh goddamn, you're ugly."
  • "You've got some issues, and I'm not sticking around to deal with them."
  • "Don't insult him, he's a god of shapeshifting."
  • "No, not in the toilet."
  • "HELP."
  • "Sick moves."
  • "Aw, what the hell...."
  • "Morning ritual - take a shit in the bush."
  • "I made him into a vegetable, man!"
  • "Goddamnit, ____, not again! You smug piece of poop."
  • "I am crying so bad."
  • "A moment like this needs music like this."
  • --> [ POKEDRAW ] <--
  • "Alright. I know the ____ really good."
  • "You know this is gonna be a fuckin' disaster."
  • "Lil' wink."
  • "How do I make him blue fast?!"
  • "Swiggity swooty, I am comin' for the booty."
  • "They are born with pants. These pants are flesh."
  • "Fucking great. Fuckin' ace."
  • "Lookit him. Give him some rose tinted fifties cheeks."
  • "Oh great. More horses."
  • "BEES. ....I hate bees."
  • "Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog. Dog?"
  • "This got grim so quick."
  • "How's he sitting?"
  • "Juicy."
  • "He looks like Dracula now."
  • "I'm gonna blow your mind."
  • "Somebody glued a Wheetabix to the cat."
  • "He looks like a cinnamon bun!!"
  • "This guy's goin' to work!"
  • "I can do this!"
  • "I tried. That's a bootleg ____ if I ever saw one."
  • "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."
  • "He's got MIND BULLETS."
  • "This is not Zubat. It's AAAAAAAAGAAGHAGGHAHGA."
  • "This is totally the worst ever."
  • "Now we're stuck with... THIS!"
  • "Why did I put a dead skeleton on my face?!"
  • "Ugh, more birds."
  • "Everytime you hug them, it's a face full of spikes. Edgelord."
  • --> [ WINDOWS 7 DESTRUCTION ] <--
  • "What is technology?!"
  • "It's magic, ___, it's magic."
  • "It looks like a plate of oatmeal."
  • "This child has no idea what she's doing."
  • "I will change this for the better!"
  • "This doesn't look fishy at all."
  • "Oh my god guys. This comment section is from fake people."
  • "To make idiots think it's safe!"
  • "I DIDN'T DO THAT!!!"
  • "That's the most honest name for something. ____ Blaster. You will have nothing left."
  • "When I was 11 years old, I had a desktop stripper."
  • "The worst part, I couldn't get it off my ____, so I had to ask my dad to help me."
  • "Please, give me Jesus!"
  • "Oh, my sweet Jesus... There's Jesus."
  • "Nothing says this's more welcome than a creepy smiley repeatedly jamming a welcome sign into his crotch."
  • "Don't stop, keep injecting me those smilies."
  • "I dunno what he's doing, but that cannot be a good way to live your life."
  • "It pains me to do this, and it will be the only one ever."
  • "This is a worse idea than the time I drank a martini with my eye, I legit did that once."
  • "I thought that everything was fine. But no. No no no no no."
  • "Animated Christmas Tree For Desktop?! Yes!"
  • "Look at it! It's the worst thing ever!"
  • "I blame you! You did this, you did this!"
  • "Two hundred dollars?! For a MIDI?!"
  • "It sounds like farting in a bathtub. BLEUB."
  • "This is the worst image."
  • "Pretty leggums."
  • "What if you have a bad dream in hypersleep and you can't wake up?"
  • "What is that?! That's the face of a strangle murderer!"
  • "Hey, we can do this. Hey, we can do this."
  • "GO FOR THE GOLD! .....FUCK."
  • "Guys, it's a spooky ghost in the vents! Go away!"
  • "Save me, Pochahontas! Save me!"
  • "Alien, please pry me off this thing."
  • "What're you waiting for! DO IT NOW!"
  • "Come on, I dare you!"
  • "'Advanced AI is unparalleled', my ass."
  • "Space poosy."
  • "He chucked a fuckin' traffic cone at me!"
  • "I see London, I see France, I see a dumbshit alienpants."
  • "Ok, drink up."
  • "Fuck you, karma."
  • "This guy's badly programmed. Like a bootleg OS."
  • "It's jazz, but in space!"
  • "So uh, what exactly is this?"
  • "I'm afraid there's gonna be boobs."
  • "What the shit is this!?!"
  • "Why is one of those Russian castles being pulled apart; what the fuck?"
  • "Hide in shame."
  • "Oh, dios mio."
  • "Nah, screw it."
  • "What in mother Mary's name is this?"
  • "Why am I doing like this twerk-a-thon?"
  • "Am I a furry?"
  • "Shameful. Shame on you."
  • "Pronounce this."
  • "You know what seals the deal for me? When shit's got that rainbow tint to it..."
  • "Ohhhh... That's SONIC."
  • "Wait a minute, that music...."
  • "Woooooow."
  • "Let's see how they did this."
  • "That's just being so illiterate it's beyond anything else."
  • "Good face there, _____."
  • "It's Windows 2000...."
  • "What we have here is an enigma."
  • "Play it, maestro."
  • --> [ LINK THE MURDERER ] <--
  • "Is that a tinted mustache?!"
  • "What are you fuckin' wearing?"
  • "Yeah. Yeah! Yeah!!"
  • "This music is not helping at all."
  • "Let's see how big you can go."
  • "You know those advertisements on the internet that're like, 'try this new cure; I did and I got RIIIIIIIIIPPED'."
  • "Chest break?! Crack neck? Holy shit."
  • "Knock him out with a punch."
  • "Why are you having a conversation? He just went down cold."
  • "OH SHIT, 'E DIED."
  • "Go home. GO HOME."
  • "That's all I need, baby."
  • "Replace your sadness with piss."
  • "Can I body slam a BABY?!"
  • "Let's order a pizza."
  • "Nothing tastes as good as... Toilet joint pizza ghost party."
  • "Ghost... You want some pizza?"
  • "Oh no, what exactly is this?"
  • "I killed death. I killed a concept."
  • "Great. I've killed so many people that they blend into society now."
  • "That's just the weak leaving your body."
  • "I'm too busy to care. Fire? Whatever."
  • "The brain, brain, brain, brain, bRAIN."
  • "I'll be having children's tears on the rocks."
  • --> [ BEST OF DOS ] <--
  • "NAILED IT!"
  • "What's the worst that could happen?"
  • "I believe my patient is balls high."
  • "It's not brain surgery, but it is surgery."
  • "Strange, I've never seen a doctor operate with his bare hands before."
  • "How fucking dare you, alright?"
  • "I am back... for MORE."
  • "To understand surgery, you must also understand flesh."
  • "It's like crayons, but with more gore."
  • "I was a surgeon, but now I CAN FLY."
  • "The MIDI zone."
  • "Light the pipeweed."
  • "Put pipeweed in Frodo."
  • "YeeeAAAAH. YEAH. YEAH."
  • "I killed him 'cause he was hogging the bong!"

paddooo  asked:

Hi, about your promts, would you please write Nico getting pregnant with Will maybe. If you want it can be nico with someone else, i really don't mind. btw you are amazing at what you do, so don't ever stop no matter what any body tells you!

Note: basically Annabeth figures out Nico’s pregnant. I might write a part two in the future. Might.

Warning: Mpreg

Nico wasn’t used to throwing up. He didn’t get nauseous easily, and he only ever threw up when sick when he had a bad stomach infection, which Will usually had under control within twelve hours. But this throwing up had been constant, over and over again, every morning, for the last three weeks or so. He didn’t tell Will because he didn’t want to be locked up in the infirmary. He usually stopped within an hour or so, so he lived with it, thinking it was no big deal and whatever problem he was having would surely go away on its own. But then it started getting worse, he started throwing up when he smelled things that he had enjoyed before, he started throwing up at the sight of anything slightly gruesome. And let him tell you it’s embarrassing when someone’s bone pops out of their leg when they break it and you’re the only one blowing chunks all over the Capture the Flag grounds.

He was quickly becoming more and more concerned about his medical state, but he still didn’t want to go to Will. He wanted to stay outside so desperately, he hated being holed up in one of those beds surrounded by other sick and or injured people who were groaning in pain or bloody or throwing up. Nico wasn’t insulting the infirmary, no, the Apollo kids kept the place spotless and sterile. Still though, Nico didn’t want to go. Not as long as it got any worse. He would go either when Will caught him puking or he started throwing up blood. 

So instead of going to Will he went to the last person he would have gone to a  year ago. He didn’t really have a choice though, Reyna was three thousand miles away and any other camper would have reported right back to Will, or worse, Jason.

“Uh, hi.” Nico said to the tall blood specimen that had answered the door. “Is uh…Annabeth here?”

At the sound of her name Annabeth quickly appeared behind the blond guys shoulder, a pencil tucked behind her ear, hair wrapped up in a bun, laptop in hand.

“Hey Nico,” Annabeth said, patting her brother on the shoulder. He nodded and went back inside the cabin, taking the laptop which Annabeth handed over to him. “What can I do for you?”

Nico hesitated, momentarily rethinking his decision before shaking his head. “Hey, um, can I talk to you….out here?”

Annabeth nodded and slipped on some pale blue flip flops before following him out on the porch and closing the door behind her. They sat on the front steps and watched Travis and Conner get chased back and forth by Katie Gardner and her sister Miranda for a few moments. Annabeth stayed quiet, Nico knowing she was waiting for him to be ready for whatever it was he wanted to talk about.

“I didn’t want to ask Will,” Nico muttered softly, Annabeth turned to him, eyes patient. “But I’m kinda getting concerned so I was wondering if you could check me over or something.”

Annabeth considered this for a moment. “Alright,” she nodded. “But if it’s serious-“

“I know.” Nico said, and they both nodded.

A few moments later Annabeth had cleared out her cabin and Nico was sitting on her bed, the few medical related things the Athena cabin had spread out on her bed. Some books were simply diagrams of the body while others were list of sicknesses or conditions with their sicknesses, and then others had ways of treating them or explaining them more.

“Describe the vomiting,” Annabeth was telling him, going through one of the books. “The time, the pain level, the causes,”

Nico answered the questions with choppy, stuttering words. Questions about health always made him unsure, even if it was his own. While he talked Annabeth threw down the book of diagrams and picked up one of the ones about the diseases, conditions and the list of symptoms.  “Um in the morning mostly, but sometimes at other times, like when a smell or something I see makes me feel sick.”

“What sets it off during the day?”

“Certain smells. Weird things, things I used to like smelling, like espresso, tomatoes, fish, stuff like that. Or when I see something bloody, remember when-“

Annabeth nodded, they had all seen him throw up when Wally Turners bone had popped out when he broke out of the skin when it was broken last week.

“I don’t feel any bed really.” Nico added.

Annabeth was still flipping around in the book, frowning deeply. “Anything else weird?”

Nico frowned and considered that for a moment. “I’ve been a little fatigued, and having a lot more headaches than usual, and my back aches a lot these days. But that’s really it; I thought it was all because I was throwing up so much.”

Annabeth had stopped at a page and was reading it over and over again, eyes wide and unbelieving. She sprung up to her feet suddenly, muttering stuff like ‘doesn’t make sense’ under her breath. She went over to another bookcase and started going through what looked to be ancient Greek legends and history, she paused when she found something, letting out a long, queasy breath.

“Maybe the Romans know more…” she mumbled. She closed the book but didn’t put it back, she grabbed a pitcher of water and a mirror and set up at a table, a drachma was pulled out of her pocket. Within seconds Annabeth was making an Iris message, but Nico didn’t understand why.

“Annabeth-“ he began.

“Shh!” she nearly cooed, her voice oddly soft, almost like a mother lulling her newborn down. Nico fell silent, unused to this side of Annabeth.

“Oh Iris Goddess of the Rainbow, show me Reyna, praetor of New Rome.”

“Annabeth,” Reyna said, Nico couldn’t see her from his angle but he could hear her. Her voice set a blanket of comfort over him immediately. “How are you?”

“I need you to come to Camp Half-Blood as soon as you can. Don’t tell Hazel or Frank, just come and bring as many books on Ancient Rome history and legends as you can.”

“Annabeth,” Reyna said. “You know I would do just about anything for you but I can’t just leave-“

“It’s about Nico.” Annabeth interrupted.

Reyna did not as much as pause. “I’ll be there immediately.”

The line cut off and Nico looked at Annabeth.

“She would do just about anything for me,” Annabeth told him, smiling. “But she would do absolutely everything for you.”

Nico smiled slightly as well, because he would do the same.


Reyna arrived not two hours later, jumping off of a chariot pulled by Pegasus himself with a bundle of books and scrolls in her arms, she ran through camp to the Athena cabin, were she knocked with her foot. The door opened and Reyna rushed through, dropping the bundle and looking around. She found Nico asleep on Annabeth’s bed and went to him.

Annabeth grabbed her by the elbow gently. “Don’t wake him,” she said. “I don’t want him to be stressed until we know whats really happening.”

“Whats wrong with him?” Reyna frowned.

“Something I’ve only heard myths and fairy tales of, but I suspect those myths are as real as the gods themselves.”

“Tales of what?” Reyna asked gathering up the books and bringing them to the table were Annabeth had a few of her own splayed out.

“Male Pregnancy.” Annabeth said, sounding quite serious.

Reyna eyebrows lifted. “Male pregnancies?

Annabeth nodded. “I had seen it mentioned once or twice in the past briefly in a text, but I didn’t actually believe it, because there was no proof, just stories and rumors. But Nico…Nico might just be that proof.”

“But how did he ever…” Reyna frowned and look over at Nico.

Annabeth was picking through the Roman texts. It was true Reyna herself had heard it once or twice before, but yet again she hadn’t gone through all the books she had brought to Annabeth, so there was a possibility of their being more information. Reyna hoped there was.

“Well,” Annabeth said. “At least there’s a story similar in your legends.” Reyna looked at her impatiently and Annabeth continued. “I don’t think Nico was the one that caused the pregnancy.”

Reyna’s eyebrows scrunched up. “Explain yourself Annabeth, I’m anxious, there’s no need for dramatic effect, I swear Percy is rubbing off on you.”

Annabeth laughed a little. “Sorry, anyways. There’s a story about a god-“

“Let me guess.” Reyna said. “Apollo?”

Annabeth smirked. “Right. So Apollo loved this demigod-the parent of that demigod changes in every text, Hecate, Hades, Thanatos, Hypnos, point is he was a child of one of the Underworld gods. This was supposedly a time when gods cared a lot more for their children. He had only come above ground a handful of times, but every time he did Apollo loved him even more. He asked his parent if he could have their son, but they said no because they felt the dark and light did not belong together. So, Apollo decided that he would make them belong together. He courted the demigod in secret and he fell for Apollo as well. His parent found out-“

“Get to the getting pregnant part, Annabeth.” Reyna said, shaking her head affectionately.

Annabeth smiled apologetically. “Anyway, to make them belong together forever Apollo made the demigod able to carry his child. He planned to make the boy his eternal lover on Olympus and the child his heir.”

“And what happened?” Reyna asked.

“One of Apollo’s enemies, perhaps a jealous former lover, another god, a monster, who knows, found the boy and killed him before Apollo could save him. He was still pregnant with the child and it died with him. It’s said that he felt so much pain he made Aphrodite swear that he would never truly fall in love ever again.”

“And what does that have to do with Nico?” Reyna wondered.

“I’m not sure.” Annabeth admitted. “There’s a lot of pieces missing for the reasoning. That’s the longest story of male pregnancy I could find, there’s a few smaller ones about Zeus and some other gods making male lovers carry their children just because they were fond of them, but they were normal mortals, the stories weren’t all that important. I’m sure Nico’s pregnancy has something to do with Apollo’s story. Just think about it, Will and Nico are just like Apollo and his lover. Light and Darkness, two things some people think don’t belong as one, making something together.”

“But why Nico?” Reyna wanted to know, the same thing Annabeth was still wondering. “Surely a son of Apollo and a son of one of the Underworld gods have been together since then.”

“Maybe,” Annabeth allowed. “Maybe not. Who knows?”

“Apollo probably does.”

Both of the girls jumped and looked towards the doorway where Will Solace stood, leaning against the doorway like he had been there for quite a while. He probably had, the girls had been so deep in their conversation they hadn’t been paying attention to anything out of it.


“I was looking for Nico, Malcolm said he was in here.” Will closed the door behind him and walked across the room, sitting with Reyna and Annabeth at the table. “I’ve heard that story before, he was a son of Thanatos for sure, his name was Philon it means ‘to love.’”

“Will…aren’t…aren’t you freaking out?” Annabeth asked him.

Will shrugged. “Why freak out over things that can’t be changed?”

“Well you could always get a-“

Reyna interrupted. “Nico wouldn’t want that.”

“And neither would I.” Will added. “The child is a blessing.”

“Or a curse.” Annabeth added.

Will ignored that, and looked over at Nico who was curled in a ball on Annabeth’s bed, wrapped up in her white and light blue sheets and blankets, hair falling like a ravens wings across his ivory face.

“How can we really know?” Will wondered.

A idea struck Annabeth, quite an obvious one, but at least it had come to her.

“I’ll be back in half an hour; I have to go get Percy!”

As promised Annabeth returned a half hour later with a small, fully packed Walgreens bag. She emptied out the contents on one of the desks, three pregnancy tests, one Monster energy drink, a bag of chocolates, and a bag of pretzels.

“What are those for?” Reyna asked.

Annabeth cracked open the Monster drink and took one long drink. “This is for me, because I’m on a roll. These,” she picked up the pretzels and threw them in Will’s chest. “Are for him, and these are for you” she tossed the chocolate to Reyna, then held up the three pregnancy tests. “And these are for Nico.”

“The kids about to find out he’s knocked up and he doesn’t get a snack?”

Annabeth shrugged.  “I don’t think he’ll be in the mood to eat.” She walked over to Nico, who was still cuddled thoroughly in her blankets. She smiled softly and reached down, gently touching his shoulder. Nico jerked away, his large brown eyes fluttering open.

“Annabeth?” he muttered. “Was I asleep?”

“Yeah,” she answered. “Did you dream of anything interesting?”

“Can’t remember.” Nico muttered, his eyelids dropping slightly.

“Nico,” Annabeth said, and Nico jerked awake again.


“Stay up, baby.” Will said, Nico’s eyes widened at the sound of his boyfriends voice. “We have to talk.” 

anonymous asked:

I can't sleep at night. It scares me sometimes.

Hi darling, thank you for coming to me for advice- I’ll do my best to help you out today!

As someone who has always have sleep problems. I feel like I’m a really good person to give you some advice on sleeping and things that help me when I can’t sleep at night!

How to improve sleep:

  • Listen to calming music- Having music in the background is helpful because it allows your mind to flow into the music while you drift off to sleep.
  • Sleep medication- Talk to your doctor about prescribing you a natural sleep medication if you are having severe instability to sleep.
  • Calming scents- Having calming scents in your room such as lavender or vanilla are helpful because those scents ease the mind and are very nice to smell.
  • Comfortable temperature- If your room is too hot or cold, it can be hard to sleep and find that just right stop. I suggest having a fan in the summer time that can blow cool breeze at you, and in the winter have a heater or have a plan to wear more blankets.
  • Limit distractions- When you’re trying to fall asleep, having things around you that can be distracting, its best to move those things out of the room or turn them off. You could put your cell phone on the counter instead of your nightstand so you are not woken up each time you get a text.
  • Comfort items- Having stuffed animals or blankets can help improve your sleep because when you have those items, you feel comfortable and in a safe place which is a must for a good nights sleep.

Sleep issues:

Dealing with insomnia/sleep deprivation

Why do we need to sleep well?

How to do it?

How about an actual good morning?

More resources-

Hope this helps darling, xx

pensiveprufrock  asked:

So I just moved into college exactly a week ago, and since then I've been incredibly depressed. Or just sad. I don't really know. I cry nearly every day. I really miss my sister and the rest of my family (I'm 500 miles away). I don't know why i'm telling you this. It's just that as soon as I feel a little better, I feel bad again the next morning. I keep in contact with my family, but it's not the same. I love school, but i don't know if i can take 2 months of this before I see them.

Dear erickajeann,

Here is a story of one of my four dogs. This dog, Peanut, is the oldest of my dogs, older than any of my children, and I have had her long enough that we are essentially the same person. You see that we even look alike:

She’s a reasonable dog and understands the rules of being human. I would trust her to hold your baby or your purse. However, the first time I went on an extended book tour, Peanut went 80% off the rails. She seemed fine, but then Lover went out to the store and when he came back he discovered that she had fetched my extra travel bag from the bedroom to the living room, removed a box of unused tampons, unwrapped each of them, and shredded the cotton inside them, rendering the entire living room floor a battleground of feminine products. 

Lover was sorry that he had a friend with him.

Peanut was not sorry.

The point of this story is that as long as you’re not shredding tampons in your dorm room, you’re ahead of the game.

My first piece of advice is to think about what’s actually stressing you out. Because I suspect it’s not actually about being away from home. I’m assuming you’ve spent a day or two or more away from your family before college — at a friend’s, at extended family, camp, etc. And I’m guessing on those trips, you could last an overnight without being attacked by messy tears and sadness. Which means it’s not actually about being away from your family — it’s that college is a stressful, lurching, socially wild affair, and the first week is nothing but culture shock. It will bring you no comfort to promise you that by the time you’re a junior, you’ll be bored, but I’ll say it anyway. 

Which brings me to my second piece of advice: instead of focusing on your homesickness as the problem, focus on the real problem of making your college life more your own. Get a routine going, make sure you’re eating right, make sure you’re actually sleeping, join some clubs, start a band, get some stuff to make your dorm room the coolest damn place that ever was. Make your college life the most you place you can manage.

And thirdly, remember: we are almost never crying about what we think we’re crying about. Be scientific. Fix what you can. Sleep when your body begs you. And go check out the mythology section in your college library — it’s gonna blow your mind. Or maybe that was just me. 

Only shred your tampons as a last resort. It doesn’t really fix anything.



Here, have a Ryan character study/backstory as a thank you for 100 followers (HOLY SHIT) ((seriously thank you i love each and every one of you, now have some pain))

Pairing: Ray/Ryan
Words: 1200
Rating: T/M murder and T-language
Also: smol baby ryan i’m so sorry this is so sad

He’s laying on top of Ryan when he asks, absentmindedly, like he doesn’t really care, but Ryan knows he does.

“Ray, why do you want to know?” Ryan asks instead of answering. 

Ray sighs and lifts his head up from Ryan’s chest, “You know more about me than I know about me dude, can’t I be curious about you?”

Ryan squints at Ray, “No.”

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‘I miss you’
'I miss you to babe’ you replied
'Y/n what’s wrong?’
'What do you mean? I’m fine’
'Baby I know you better than that. I can tell by your voice something is up’
'Oh, it’s just school stress i guess’ you say trying to convince your boyfriend Nash that you are perfectly fine. You hate lying to him but he is living his dream and you know that he would be on the first plane home if he thought you were back to your old ways.
'Babe it’s late, I gotta sleep. I’ll speak to you tomorrow. I love you Nash’
’ sweet dreams y/n. I love you so much. You are my world beautiful, I can’t wait to see you again, sleep tight’
’ bye baby’
'Bye boo’

You hang up your phone and fall backwards onto your bed. After laying there for several moments you get you, change into your pyjamas and get tucked into bed.

Night is the time your mind wanders, you think to much. You think about nash, your family, your friends, your life. All these things made you happy, but you are still so sad. After what seemed like hours of thinking you feel asleep.

You woke up early the next morning, and headed to school. You were happy at school, you weren’t popular, but you weren’t a loner either. You fitted in nicely.

School went in quickly so you soon found yourself walking home flicking through your twitter, listening to music. Your mentions are constantly blowing since everyone found out about you and Nash’s 2 year relationship around 8 months ago. You try to stay clear of your mentions and pretend that what people think of doesn’t bother you although deep down you know it really did.

You clicked onto your mentions and all you seen was negativity.

@y/t/n should really go die

@y/t/n only got nash because he feels sorry for her

@y/t/n is only using nash! She is just an ugly slag

I heard that @y/t/n used to self harm, is that true or is it just an other excuse for attention?

You couldn’t hold your tears in. You knew you shouldn’t have read them but you could help yourself. You ran home to your empty house and went straight to your bed. You opened the drawer to you left and dug through it, pulling out a small box. From there you opened that and revealed your blade. Your best friend for many years. People close to you knew you had gone through this but they thought you had stopped. Although you had for a year and a half, things got difficult when your relationship got out but since nash moved away things have got very bad.

You rinsed your bloody wrists under the running water when you heard the door bell ring. You dried your wrists and ran to the door. You never had time to grab a long sleeved jumper but you thought it wouldn’t matter because you assumed it was the window cleaner who would only want money.

You opened the door and lunged forward, stretching your arms out. You were so happy, all the previous pain had gone.
'Baby what are you doing here?’ You said walking into the living room.
'I came to visit, these are for you’ he hands you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, Lily’s. You go to take them when you see Nash’s face fall. It the clocked to you what has happened. You watched nash as a tear ran down Nash’s cheeks.

'I thought you had stopped’
'I did’
'Then why are they fresh’ nash ran his thumb over the cuts on your wrist which he is now hold in his hands.
'I cracked. I’m a failure. I let everyone down. You worked so hard to support me and all I do is relapse. I hate myself. I don’t deserve you. I-’
You were cut off by Nash’s lips
'Dont ever say that again! You hear me? You are not a failure, look how well you are doing in school, you have 3 colleges fighting for you. And you didn’t let anyone down, relapse is natural. We will work together ok? We will get through this. I am here right next to you and every step of the way. If anyone doesn’t deserve anyone. It’s me that doesn’t deserve you. You are so wonderful, beautiful, amazing, thoughtful and strong while I am over in LA being such a horrible-’

You decided this was your que to cut nash off. You leaned in and kissed him.

'Nash, you are amazing, don’t doubt yourself.’
'Aslong as don’t you doubt yourself either’


This is really bad but I was in the mood to write an imagine.

If anyone want one (I will try to write it better) message me your name, boy and plot/ outcome.

anonymous asked:

I'm constantly tired even though i do get loads of sleep. I tried sleeping for 5 hours, 6 hours, 8 hours, i always go to bed at the same hour, wake up at the same hour, but still im really fcking tired. What do?

Hi :)

I understand where you’re coming from, I’ve had sleep issues most of my life. I have some links and information for you that I hope can help you:

How to improve sleep:

  1. Listen to calming music- Having music in the background is helpful because it allows your mind to flow into the music while you drift off to sleep.
  2. Sleep medication- Talk to your doctor about prescribing you a natural sleep medication if you are having severe instability to sleep.
  3. Calming scents- Having calming scents in your room such as lavender or vanilla are helpful because those scents ease the mind and are very nice to smell.
  4. Comfortable temperature- If your room is too hot or cold, it can be hard to sleep and find that just right stop. I suggest having a fan in the summer time that can blow cool breeze at you, and in the winter have a heater or have a plan to wear more blankets.
  5. Limit distractions- When you’re trying to fall asleep, having things around you that can be distracting, its best to move those things out of the room or turn them off. You could put your cell phone on the counter instead of your nightstand so you are not woken up each time you get a text.
  6. Comfort items- Having stuffed animals or blankets can help improve your sleep because when you have those items, you feel comfortable and in a safe place which is a must for a good nights sleep.

Dealing with insomnia/sleep deprivation

Why do we need to sleep well?

How to do it?

How about an actual good morning?

Keep me updated? I’d love to hear back from you and see how you’re doing and if my advice was helpful for you. Take care and don’t forget to smile :) x

based off of jet lag (ft. natasha bedingfield) by simple plan

pic credit

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