i don't know why i'm putting this on the internet

this has nothing to do with anything but in case anyone was wondering one of the worst experiences of my life was playing a drinking game with this girl who was Obsessed with taylor swift so made us all go round and name her songs and the first person who couldn’t think of one had to down their drink

and i was like ??? this is unfair who even likes taylor swift not me that’s who

but when my turn came round i said ‘i’d lie’ because it was one i knew that no one had said yet and as it turns out that’s like. an unreleased track from like 2007 or some shit so she was Convinced that i was secretly really Really into taylor swift because how fucking obscure is that

and like. it was on an e/R playlist one time. that was how i knew it. because someone heard this obscure tswift track and was like ‘shit that’s about this fictional dead 19th century french boy’s unrequited love’ and like. how do i possibly explain that to people i barely know. so i had to just laugh awkwardly and deal with the label of secret taylor swift groupie

  • Aries: All right. Rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave.
  • Taurus: It's a Sunday. I don't move on Sundays.
  • Gemini: I'm glad we're having a rehearsal dinner. I rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
  • Cancer: I say more dumb things before 9 a.m. than most people say all day.
  • Leo: Why yes Ross. Pressing my third nipple, it opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia.
  • Virgo: So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay, huh?
  • Libra: I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love.
  • Scorpio: You know, I think I don't care.
  • Sagittarius: Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
  • Capricorn: All right, I took the quiz. And it turns out I do put career before men.
  • Aquarius: I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
  • Pisces: Couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Because I think, actually, mine's growing back.