Do you remember why you fell in love with me? You said I was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You said you couldn’t let me get away, you just had to get to know me.
Do you remember the way you felt the first time I looked into your eyes? You said you loved the way my eyes sparkled.
Do you remember what it was like the first time I held your hand? You said you felt a tingly sensation travel through your entire body.
Do you remember the first time I kissed you? You said you never wanted anyone else to kiss you again.
Do you remember the first time I said ‘I love you?’ You said that you loved me from the moment you first saw me.
Do you remember? Because I remember everything. I remember the first time I told you I was mentally ill. You told me it was nothing that we couldn’t get through…
Do you remember the first time you saw me have a panic attack? You held me close and calmed me down.
Do you remember the first time I asked you if you could hear the voices too? You looked at me strange and said you didn’t hear anything.
Do you remember the first time I started detaching from you? You asked me why I was being so cold.
Do you remember the first time I pushed you away when you tried to touch me? You were trying to understand what you did wrong.
Do you remember the first time I made you cry? You asked me how I could be so heartless.
Do you remember the first time you saw me sit and stare at the wall and you couldn’t get me to move? You were beginning to wonder if this was all a mistake…
I know it’s not easy loving a person with mental illness. But, it’s not easy being a person with mental illness. Every time I detach from you, all I want to do is be in your arms. But I can’t. And I can’t really explain why. Every time I hurt you, it hurts me too. Just, please don’t give up on me.
Whenever you feel like you can’t take anymore, please remember why you fell in love with me.
Whenever I’m sitting and staring at the wall, unable to move, please remember the way you I first looked into your eyes.
Whenever I push you away and tell you not to touch me, please remember the way you felt the first time I ever held your hand.
Whenever I’m yelling nonsense and saying things I don’t really mean, please remember the first time I ever kissed you, and how amazing it made you feel.
Whenever you’re trying to get me to talk, and it seems I’m unable to speak, please remember the sound of my voice the first time I ever said ‘I love you.’
Because I still love you. I’ve always loved you. And I will always love you.
— Please remember me, even when it seems like I don’t remember you…