i don't know why i feel this about you

Since readmores don’t work on this blog, I apologize for the uh. Ramble down below, but it’s something i need to just. talk about.


you know, it might just be because it’s super late at night and i just wrote a huge ass philosophy paper that’s causing me to think but.


Do i really matter here ?


Not in this grand metaphysical sense and shit but… here in the roleplaying community.

I try to make friends. I try to be funny and relate-able but…. I don’t know. I want to interact with people, but even people i consider friends (i hope we’re friends anyways) just.

I don’t know. I always feel like they’re getting annoyed of me or that they always hated me, and that’s why the conversations stop, and that’s why it seems that our muses just. Never get that chance to interact.


I want to be active, I really do, but when I try to be active … well, i get sent zilch. Nada. Nothing. And it’s discouraging, you know ? Muse is hard to come by, and the things i am interested in … 


it seems like no one else really is interested in me – save for the few times that people are that i actually don’t feel up to interactions.



Is there anything I could do to really fix this ? Or am I just overthinking it. Because this is something i’ve been feeling since … July maybe ?


What do you guys think? And uh. Please like if you read i guess.

Missing someone I shouldn’t even be thinking about.
—  March 17, 2017

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice, odd question but: Do you believe asexuals belong in the LGBT community? I have a friend who identifies this way, but as a trans girl, I'm struggling to understand how she has to go through the same things as an LGBT person by being asexual. And struggle aside, I don't even see how asexuality is THAT different from heterosexuality, just with more... hesitation!? Maybe this sounds rude, but I know you've written about asexual people etc, and I wondered what you thought. No shade intended

Hi there. I’m glad you reached out to me about this because you must have really upset your friend by saying stuff like this to them.

It’s easy to see why not only cishet people, but also LGBT+ people, think that asexuality is fake. The world is awash with sex and sexual attraction. It’s everywhere. And everyone is supposed to want it and feel it. It’s so extremely normalised that the idea that someone could be literally UNABLE to feel sexual attraction is, to many people, absolutely bizarre and a joke.

Even if you acknowledge that asexuality is real, it’s also easy to see why you would be so quick to reject and get angry at asexual people who call themselves LGBT+. Because asexual people are not like you, are they. Unless they are trans, asexuals don’t have gender troubles, and unless they experience same-gender romantic attraction, asexuals don’t experience same-gender attraction! Lesbian, bi, gay etc people can all be joined together in their experience of same gender attraction, and all trans folks, binary and non binary, can be joined together in their experience of feeing a disconnect from their assigned birth gender.

The result? No one wants asexuals near them. People can’t relate. No one else feels the way asexuals do and people don’t think they should be part of the group. They’re not the same as you.

But oh god, they are not allowed in the cishet club either.

The first thing you need to try and unlearn is that asexuality is in any way similar to heterosexuality. It’s not. It’s so, so fucking not. It’s painful how different it feels to be asexual compared to being heterosexual. Telling an ace person that asexuality isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’ is about as accurate as saying being gay isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’. Being asexual means you do not experience sexual attraction, ever. EVER. And while that might seem easy to you, it’s an extremely painful and terrifying thing to learn about yourself, in a world where everyone is expected to have an array of sexual experiences, fall in love, get married, and anyone who doesn’t do that is strange and a freak.

Learning you are asexual can be terrifying. When you realise you’ve never had a crush, when all your friends have had ten each, you are terrified. When you pass the age where people have started dating and having sex and you still feel nothing - NOTHING - you are terrified. When you think about ever falling in love and the idea disgusts you, or you think about falling in love and you crave it, god you CRAVE it, but you know you can’t ever feel that, you are terrified. When you realise you will never be able to enjoy a normal romantic/sexual relationship, the ones full of passion like you see in the movies, and people will reject you because you can’t fancy them in that way, and there’s a higher chance for you than anyone else that you will simply die alone, without love, without children - you are terrified.

You think being ace is the same as heterosexuality? You think it’s an easy thing to learn about yourself? Explain the terror, then. I’m all ears.

The fact you see asexuality as 'hesitation’ is really horrifying to me. Asexuals aren’t attracted to the opposite gender but 'hesitant’ to act on it. Asexuals DO NOT feel attraction. To anyone. It’s not a choice. It’s not a way of life. It’s not the same as celibacy out of choice, or being a 'prude’, or waiting till marriage. It is ingrained in you, just like being gay is, just like being trans is. It is a part of you that no matter how hard you try to will it away, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise, you cannot help it. You DO NOT feel attracted to ANYONE.

And in saying all this, I fully acknowledge that asexuals do not experience the extent of oppression that other LGBT+ folks do. There are no laws regarding asexuality. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and other LGBT+ folks no doubt experience a higher level and intensity of systematic oppression to asexuals, more frequently go through hard experiences due to their orientation or gender. But since when did being LGBT+ become a competition for 'who’s the most oppressed’? Is that what LGBT+ is? You’re only allowed in the club if you’re 'oppressed enough’? If you’re 'gay enough’? If you’re 'trans enough’?

If you need persuading that asexuals do experience their own form of oppression, though, consider the number of asexuals who are coerced into sex in order to 'fix’ them. Consider the emotional pain that I have already discussed, of feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong and gross about you because you feel attracted to no one. Consider the number of asexuals who are hounded or emotionally abused by their families for failing to find partners. Consider the number of asexuals who force themselves to have sexual experiences, because it is the norm, because they don’t even know what asexuality is, because THEY think that they are just 'hesitant’, despite finding sex disgusting and feeling no desire to do it. Do you really think asexuals are just running around, free and happy and content in who they are? They aren’t. I’m not.

So go ahead. Cast aside asexuals if you want. Call them attention-seeking, call them special snowflakes. Ignore the pain they feel. Make them go through it alone, in pain, terrified of what they are. Why on earth would the LGBT+ community be a place to support people like that!?

Messages like the one you have just sent me gives me further reason to never talk about that part of myself. To just sit and cry about it at home day after day because I do not like myself. Because I feel that nobody will accept me or understand who I am. I could list the number of things people have said to me to discredit and laugh at this part of myself, but it’s people like you who make me embarrassed to talk about it, too scared to own a label and talk about it freely and openly.

I thought, going into this, that the LGBT+ community was one of total respect, understanding, and empathy. I learnt pretty quickly that it is not.

I send love to your asexual friend. I really, really do.

Disclaimer: I am very aware of the nuances of asexuality, of the differences between romantic/aesthetic/sexual attraction, but sadly it seems that many people can’t even grasp the basic concept of asexuality, so I don’t quite think they’re ready for that yet.

Hospital Starters
  • [ Requested by Anon about a week ago. Warnings for blood, suicidal thoughts, and medical stuff. Thanks! : ]
  • "Hey, you're awake!"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "You hit your head. There was so much blood that I got scared."
  • "Don't try to get up. You're safe here."
  • "I hate this place..."
  • "How could you do this to yourself?"
  • "The world didn't give me a choice, and now, I'm suffering even more!"
  • "You really came..."
  • "I told you I would be here when you woke up."
  • "How many tests did they do on you?"
  • "If I wasn't drugged up, I could tell you the names of every test they do in this place."
  • "When are they going to let you leave?"
  • "They said that I'll be here for a few days. Maybe a week."
  • "What happened to you? You have so many things sticking out of you."
  • "That's what happens when you're dying."
  • "It's probably time to change those bandages..."
  • "You aren't in pain, are you?"
  • "You were in an accident. You almost didn't make it."
  • "That would explain why I feel terrible."
  • "I thought you were dead..."
  • "I'm not dead, am I?"
  • "I didn't know it was this bad..."
  • "I may not live much longer..."
  • "I'm dying..."
  • "You can't die! There has to be something they can do!"
  • "I'm too far gone for any surgery to fix me."
  • "I want you to know that I'll miss you most."
  • "Don't say that! I don't like it when you talk like this..."
  • "I just want it to happen so I don't have to think about it all the time."
  • "I wanted to say goodbye to you one more time."
  • "If you don't get some sleep, I'm going to hit this button and tell a nurse you're bothering me."
  • "Don't abuse that call button!"
  • "You know that button only works every five seconds, right?"
  • "Maybe if I push it hard enough, more will come out."
  • "I get to come home today."
  • "Did you fill out the release forms yet?"
  • "They hooked me up with a bunch of prescriptions. I'm gonna be high as a kite."

being asexual is seen as “too straight” by the LGBT+ community and “too gay” for straight people. the truth is, we are neither. if straight people are “as straight as a line” and gay people are “straight like a circle”, then we’re as straight as the void. sexual attraction? i don’t even know her. you are seriously in the wrong place if you’re looking for an instant sexual connection. don’t try to “””fix””” us we’re good. keep moving please.

  • Ravenclaw: I feel trapped.
  • Hufflepuff: We're in the middle of an open field.
  • Ravenclaw: No, I feel trapped in this moment in my life. Where am I going? What am I doing? And how am I going to get to where I want to be?
  • Hufflepuff: We're going to charms class, we're going to be doing charms work, and usually hard work and dedication. Try to think in the now.
  • Ravenclaw: Well, in the now I'm contemplating an assault on you.
  • Hufflepuff: At least you're thinking about here and now!
8

why the hero killer pisses me off, and why you irrite me… yeah, that’s it. when all’s said and done, that’s where i ended up. what was i worrying so much about? these guys are able to smile thoughtlessly because all might is smiling thoughtlessly. it’s because that trash is smiling thoughtlessly as is there was no one he couldn’t save.

  • ***in Episode 45 of the Pokemon playthrough***
  • Danny: I won't talk, like, numbers or anything like this, but like just to show everyone what a fucking awesome guy you are. Uh, before i joined the show, and I was unemployed, I had just moved to LA. Ninja Sex Party was...in the red, shall we say? And like, needed cash to stay afloat. And we were gonna do a Kickstarter! And I told you about it; and you were like, "Dude, I'll just give you that." And, like...I almost cried. 'Cuz it was so fucking awesome of you.
  • Arin: Wasn't that in line at...?
  • Danny: It was on line for the X2!
  • Arin: *laughing* At Magic Mountain!
  • Danny: At Six Flags Magic Mountain!
  • Arin: We were getting all pumped and then we got real!
  • Danny: Yeah, and then I got very emotional; and THEN I flew on a roller coaster at 80 miles an hour backwards through fire!
  • Arin: And saw God.
  • Danny: Hooooly shit, that was a terrifying roller coaster. And I'm just grateful that I got a job right after that, like a week later. And then I got this job - the greatest job of all time - and then I didn't need that anymore. So I never actually needed...'cuz I hate borrowing money from friends.
  • Arin: Well whatever, it wouldn't be borrowing it, you'd just have it.
  • Danny: Well that'd be even worse, because...I couldn't accept that amount of money without feeling like I owed you...a great debt.
  • Arin: Yeah but here's the thing, you're my friend.
  • Danny: I know.
  • Arin: And that's just a thing that friends do.
  • Danny: You're a very rare and special guy, Arin. I don't think that's a thing that a lot of friends would do.
  • Arin: Well, then...fuck them.
  • Danny: Right?!
  • Arin: What do they know about friendship?

@arabian-batboy said: Can you write something where Bruce comes across Jason in an alley after his resurrection but before Talia took him in & since he couldn’t talk at that time (& because he’s supposed to be dead) Bruce thinks it’s just a hallucination and just leaves him?


It had been a long time since Bruce was afraid of ghosts, mostly because they never left him alone. If this one seemed more real than usual, hey, it had been a rough day.

Always was, this time of year. 

April 27th. Bruce liked to think he was getting better— maybe some year he wouldn’t find himself lurking in Crime Alley on today, the anniversary of Jason’s death— but he wasn’t there yet.

It made sense. How was he supposed to forget Jason? That was what it would take, Bruce knew, to leave the guilt behind. Every time Jason crossed his mind, it all came crashing back: the grief and shame and pain in his chest. 

Flashbacks, sometimes. Hallucinations.

He wasn’t particularly surprised to see his dead son lying on the cobblestones. It was bound to happen today. 

Bruce took a deep breath. It was time for another hell ride through his own subconsciousness. What would it be this time?

Older, he thought— this Jason looked older, the age he would be if he had lived. That was normal; Bruce spent a lot of time imagining Jason alive and growing up. This Jason looked like he had been on the street for a long time, and Bruce could explain that too; they’d met on this spot when Jason was young and homeless. Of course he was remembering that day. 

Bruce blinked away the image of Jason, small and defiant, sprinting towards the mouth of the alley with his tire iron. Who hit the Batman with a tire iron? Jason did. Jason was…

Well, Jason was dead. Jason had been extraordinary— brave, bright, explosive, kind— but he was gone, and the illusion on the pavement was just that: an illusion. A memory. Bruce’s mind playing tricks.

The punishment he deserved. He could feel it beginning like it always did, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his fingertips, his chest, rooting him to the stone underneath him until he couldn’t run— not that he should run. He hadn’t saved Jason. The least he could do was feel it.

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2

*tries to be cute but ends up looking like this*

sometimes i think I’ll never be happy until i own a well-tailored victorian era suit

Ravenclaw: Sometimes I wish I had

a machine that would let me feel

what Sly feels.

Ravenclaw: Then maybe I’d

understand her better.

Hufflepuff:

Hufflepuff: No you don’t.

Ravenclaw: What do you mean? Why

not?

Hufflepuff: You don’t know her

like I do. You don’t know how much

she feels every day.

Hufflepuff: It’s a lot. You don’t

want to feel it.

Hufflepuff:

Hufflepuff: It would make even

*you* cry.

anonymous asked:

Whats your opinion on the headcanon that bakugou is hard of hearing because of how loud his explosions are? If you dont mind my asking

I think I answered this q on this blog already? Maybe? But anyway, I don’t exactly mind it, but I can’t say I share the headcanon myself - for one, because I’m of the opinion that their bodies are built to withstand a safe use of their quirks (a bit like you can’t break a leg by simply walking, you know), so in general I’m not a fan of headcanons that include damages caused by simply doing what their bodies were born to do? 

But also because generally, even under the assumption that his body isn’t made to hold up with his explosions, isn’t it awfully convenient how only his ears take damage in these scenarios? What about his eyes? How come he can still see with no problems even with the continuous exposure to the explosions’ light? How about his hair? How come he can stand so close to fire without it ever being damaged by it? His palms have thicker skin and we know that thanks to his UA file, but what about the rest of his body? How come he can stand smack in the middle of an Howitzer Impact without getting even slightly burnt? When you say “only his ears aren’t made to withstand his explosions” what you’re telling me is that his whole body is tailord to deal with his quirk but his ears, and that just feels unrealistic to me - by which I mean, when this is the scenario we’re talking about, you can’t give the fault of the damage to Bakugou’s quirk. It’s a problem his body has, not a natural consequence of having that sort of quirk. And imho with those premises you sort of end up with a different kind of story, you’re supposed to write it differently - that’s what I think, at least

Anon said: Maybe the reason Baku raises his voice so often is because he can’t hear very well, which isn’t due to his explosions, rather, he was born with bad hearing to protect him from taking damage by them.. and then his other senses are sharper to even it out, and his body can even subconsciously notice air vibrations, resulting in really fast reflexes.

Ah, this is also another reason why I’m not a huge fan of the headcanon - don’t get me wrong! If you like it then go on, I’m not trying to stop anyone from enjoying ideas and possibilities!! But personally I like Bakugou not having any reason to be loud-mouthed and rude, that’s just his personality and how the environment he grew up in made him, and lately I’ve seen the hc used to justify his behaviour more than I like? Bakugou being an asshole is just who he is, and I love it! I love that his life made him like that and I love that he’s working hard to fix that flaw, giving him an external reason, something he has no control over, to justify his personality changes the core of his character too much, and that’s not something I’d ever want to do tbh

And it’s also cool to think that he was somewhat genetically engineered to be better in a fight to compensate for a lack of earing (though again, why only his ears and not his eyes or his sense of tact too), but that goes to cut on all the hard work he put in becoming as good as he is, right? If that’s what you like than who am I to stop you! But Bakugou’s hardworking nature is one of the things I love about him, I don’t really feel like taking away from him all the effort and work he put through the years in becoming as good as he is now

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6
Facts about the Why Don't We Boys!

here are a few facts about the boys:
~Jack Robert Avery~
•He is 18 years old
•He was born on July 1st, 1999 (Cancer)
•He is the second oldest of 4
•He has three sisters (Isla Stanford, Ava Stanford, Sydnie Avery)
•He was born in Burbank, California but quickly moved to Susquehanna, Pennsylvania before he reached the age 1.
•He grew a fan base on his amazing piano and guitar skills.
•oh and his cute face
•He went on tour, IMPACT, along with Zach Herron and Corbyn Besson.
•Jack is known as the renaissance man in the band.
•He skateboards and plays basketball.
•His parents are divorced; he lives with his mom
•His dad remarried a Portuguese woman but then later divorced her. (dont ask why I know this)
•His older sister Syd, has her own clothing line and it’s freaking cute (sweetgirlco.com)
•His hair was originally straight but he permed it.
• He has an ex-girlfriend named Paige
~Zachary Dean Herron~
•He is 16
•He was born on May 27, 2001 (Gemini)
•He is the youngest member of WDW
•He was born and raised in Dallas, Texas.
•A video of him singing “Stitches” went viral, having over 10 million views.
• He gained a lot of followers on his Instagram and YouTube channel by posting his own covers.
•He is the oldest of his other siblings (Ryan and Reese)
•He’s an older, cuter, hit-puberty version of Jacob Sartorius.
•He released two singles in 2016, Timelapse and Why.
•He went on tour, IMPACT, accompanied with Corbyn Besson and Jack Avery.
•He’s got these red cheeks that are frickin adorable
•His mom is asian and his dad is white. (?)
•His dad supposedly makes the best breakfast burritos
•He also loves those egg things w/ the mustard in it.
~Daniel James Seavey~
•He is 18 years old
•He was born on April 2nd, 1999 (Aries)
•He has three other siblings (Anna, Tyler, Chris)
•He is from Vancouver, Washington
•He appeared on the show, American Idol, season 14 and made it to top 9
•He was the youngest contestant on that season
•He impressed Jennifer Lopez right away with his young age and talent.
•After losing the show, he turned to YouTube to post covers and collabs w/ Lovey James.
•His father and him would play music on the streets of Portland.
•Whenever he smiles, the earth quakes and the girls’ knees wobble.
•He freaking loves watermelon
•Apparently he has pure hatred for stuffing
•He’s crafty and artistic.
•He plays too many instruments, I can’t even count that high
~Corbyn Matthew Besson~
•He is 18 years old
•He was born on November 25, 1998 (Sagittarius)
•He is from Texas but later on moved to Virginia
•He has 2 other siblings (Ashley and Jordan)
•He’s currently dating Christina Marie (YouTube/YouNow star) @beautychickee
•His fave ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip (my fave!)
•He’s the king at roasting people
•He’s aesthetic af
•Christina and him are goals
•He went on the IMPACT tour with Jack Avery and Zach Herron
•He dropped a single on iTunes called “The Only One”
•He has a YouTube channel where he posts a lot of his song covers
•He gained over 100,000 followers on YouNow
~Jonah Marais Roth Frantzvich~
•He’s 19 years old
•He was born on June 16, 1998 (Gemini)
•He is the oldest member of WDW
•He is from Stillwater, Minnesota
•He has two other siblings (Esther Grace & Zebulon)
•He was on the DigiTour 2014
•He gained a mass following on YouNow
•He owns a cute farm
•His hometown is so old fashion and flipping gorgeous
•He’s known as the foodie of the band.
•He put out an EP “When The Daylights Gone”
•He used to play baseball
•He loves to post about potatoes
•He got signed to “26” by Chad Grier (Nash & Hayes’s father)
•He gets underrated in the band but honestly he deserves all the love in the world :)
•In his farm, he has a chicken named Daisy
•There’s a tattoo on his upper arm of (i think) a duck.
♡♡♡
I hope this helped! I made this post for anyone who’s new to the fandom or for the people who just wants to know them better. These are just a few facts I have gathered about the boys. If anyone wants to add a little facts to this feel free!

like/reblog if you learned something new xx

youtube

So here is the man that could make Destiel posible.

Did he just said: 

  1. Because the fans are so loyal we been able to move to the next thing.
  2. Some things don’t feel right as inherent DNA of the show.

Examples:

  • The show is not really a show about you know Sam and Dean falling in love with a girl. And you know she is in the back seat of the car. You know, is not a romantic comedy.

Originally posted by mogifire

help!!
@weathergirl83 @naruhearts @tinkdw @amwritingmeta @santamadredidios

anonymous asked:

do you still ship klance?

Eh I guess I’ll answer this honestly if it’ll get the asks I get to reduce even by a bit

No I don’t like it anymore, and just because I know everyone will ask here’s why (also please for the love of god don’t take this as me saying you’re an ass for liking it, it’s just my personal opinion):

  • Their relationship is constantly shoved down your throat everywhere you look and that too at the expense of other significant relationships in the show. You constantly read stuff about how keith and lance helped each other and comfort each other and this and that but if such a scene exists between ANY other characters and keith/lance it’s completely dismissed and barely acknowledged (or worse, completely shit upon in the name of some delusional moral crusade). And that just personally annoys me to no end. 
  • I’ve literally seen so much of them that even the idea of any potential they might have has become s o boring to me. Like I just. I don’t care anymore. I’m more fascinated by coran and pidge’s friendship at this point than I am with klance. I’m willing to talk in depth about ANY interaction in voltron outside of kl my guy
  • People who’re more passionate about said ship don’t particularly like me, and have said some nasty stuff about me on their blogs so that kinda you know. Put me off. Probably forever lmao

but yeah that’s the gist of it. I’m probably taking this way too seriously but since i get asks about it all the time I figured I might as well let you guys know

how do you silence the voice in your head that tells you you’re a talentless hack and everything you write is garbage asking for a friend