i don't know why but i laugh every time

AU where TLKs are glitchy - that is, once you’ve used one to free your love from a curse, every time you kiss produces the same effect of magical rainbow light circles spreading through town

in other words, AU where the entire town of Storybrooke is woken up with Snowing’s good morning kisses, people doing their hair are annoyed by the rush of magic messing it up five minutes later, breakfast is regularly interrupted with flashy lights, people celebrate the workday as a break except then David comes to eat lunch with Snow and at least three more TLKs are probably gonna happen, the afternoon is just a period of slowly building dread because the evening is just a goddamn light show when Snowing feels frisky and they so damnably often do, folks are trying to get their kids to bed early on date nights because they know no way are they falling asleep with all this magical true love strobe light nonsense ongoing. at least the magical villains have all collectively thrown up their hands and gone away because there’s no point trying to curse anyone with these idiots smooching all the time, but to be perfectly honest some of the civilians almost miss those old days when they weren’t so intimately acquainted with their rulers’ sex lives.

and then Captain Swan TLK one day. it is very dramatic and romantic and they disappear together to no doubt spend an evening making sweet love and no one begrudges them exactly but they do sigh and kind of exchange little ‘brace yourself’ jokes and send the kids to bed early again

it’s not a strobe light, at least. it’s worse: a fog. people are horrified, they can’t see what the hell they’re doing and everything reeks of magic, the annoying kind of magic that makes everyone feel happy and loving and good about themselves right up until they remember they feel this way because their sheriff is happily boning a pirate, still. she hasn’t stopped. in fact are their mouths glued together or something because it has been at least eight hours now and this is worrying, okay. do they need to send someone to check if they are safe (no, just. please no). maybe it’s just because she’s the Savior so it’s all magnified or something, but jesus christ, businesses have to shut down for the day, it’s utterly ridiculously awful and the only joy the townsfolk get out of it is the look on Snowing’s faces.

sweet payback, they think, and resign themselves to suffering through this every couple of days.

  • You know those photo shoots Rami does where he has to look super serous or be in weird positions or balance a cowboy hat over his junk? I cannot imagine him taking them seriously.
  • Photographer: “Ok, Rami-”
  • Rami: “It’s R-ah-mi.”
  • Photographer: “Yeah. Um... So what we need you to do is lean in this doorway and look really serious.”
  • Rami: “With this douche-bag hat on?"
  • Photographer: "Your fans will eat it right up."
  • Rami: "Yeah but why?"
  • Photographer: “Just do-”
  • Rami: “Can I just jump in some more water or something?”
  • Photographer: “No.... Just cross your feet and take the photo."
  • Rami: *under his breath in a mock voice.* "Oh look at me I've been in three movies and I'm such a lady killer."