i don't know who i want to be more

why i rp naminé.

tagged by: @ibisangelus
tagging: @mysticxdance ( since you prefer being on penelo atm, kairi ), @drexm-eater, @gangleadiing, @lockedfighter, @avcm, and anyone else who wants to!! uvu

i got too emotional, you guys B’)

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anonymous asked:

Hi. So you think a unhealthy relationship is Bdsm, shades of grey or even Yume, right? But I n e e d someone who's in control, who is protecting me, who has more power… just like Yume. I don't want these "only flower" thing. It can be nice but I need more. Kaname would be perfect for me or Christian Grey, haha. But it's not something I would call "unhealthy". Can you explain me why do you think so? At the end of the day there is not just one "flower" way to love "healthy".

Ready, anon, say it with me:

There is a difference between ‘taking charge’, and ‘taking control’.

What does that mean?

Well, lets use BDSM since you brought it up.

Believe it or not, in BDSM the person who has the most power in the relationship is the submissive. If you practice BDSM properly you would know that the submissive has the power to stop what is happening at any time. In BDSM, the dominant has to ensure that they stay within the boundaries of their submissive. The submissive sets the rules, the dominant has to comply.

In that way the relationship is balanced. The dominant can 'take charge’, but the submissive is still in control of what happens to them. At no stage can a dominant cross those boundaries without consent. Thus the relationship is healthy as it brings a sense of equality to the relationship, regardless of the way the dominant 'takes charge’.

Drawing from personal experience, I have a friend who just got out of an abusive marriage. It’s been a year since we got her out of safety and she is still an absolute wreck. She has good days, but so many bad days. She’s been through such a traumatising experience that even a year later the cruel voice in her head still demeans her. He made her do terrible things through physical and emotional intimidation and manipulation. He took away her power. He forced her to do things and participate in things that to this day give her nightmares. That is unhealthy. When a partner controls you to the point that you have no sense of self worth, no love for yourself or any type of independence than that is unhealthy. When your partner takes in no consideration for you and your needs that is unhealthy.

That is why I have such an issue with books like Fifty shades, Yume and Twilight. They romanticise behaviours that are actually really concerning and thus making domestic violence more prominent in today’s society where it has become a real issue. I worry about young woman who go into relationships blinded and come out so scarred.

Also, I honestly have no idea what you mean by 'flower’. I’ve never used that term and I don’t really know what you mean by it.

Essentially having a strong relationship grounded in a foundation of trust allows you to have a partner 'take charge’ at times, but it also ensures that you are still taken into consideration, that your needs and wants matter and aren’t just tossed aside or overshadowed by their needs.

Either way, it sounds like you are confusing BDSM with unhealthy relationships, and I’m here to tell you, neither Kaname nor Christian actually cared about their partners. If they were trying to partake in BDSM they fail. They are not charming. They are controlling sociopaths. Their relationships are unhealthy. But whatever.

youtube

NEW VIDEO: “No Glory in the Process - don’t mind me, I just wanted to have a little honest, unedited chat. I’m gonna be checking out some blogs who reblog this - thanks for spreading the love! <3

URGENT!!!!!

For those of you who live in Texas, whatever you do, DO NOT GO TO HOUSTON PRIDE. There have been threats of another shooting and I want all of you to stay safe. I don’t give a shit how much you wanted to go, just don’t go. Your safety matters way way way way more than whether you have fun or not.
I want you guys to spread this. PLEASE reblog it so that everyone knows not to go!!

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River Song Appreciation Week Day 1: A song for Song

It’s a really silly thing I’ve made for danisnotonfire - yup, another #headerfordan.
This time I’ve something to say: Dan, we are proud of you. We, phangirls, are proud of you.
2015 will be a great years, I know it. We believe in you- and no matter what, we want you to be happy. Look where you are, boy. Look at you. I might cry. From a boy who thought his future was uncertain to the internet cult leader with a bright future - actually, brighter than his clothes! *haha- no Lil you are not funny shut up*
Dan, no matter what, please, be happy, because happy Dan is the best Dan we know and the Dan we want.
“Do whatever you have to do to be happy”. Smile, boy, because you have a fantastic life with your bestfriend, in front of you.

We love you.

3

i will take this opportunity to not so subtly suggest that “will it beard” could be interesting.

ouat season 5 so far

from someone who hasn’t watched any of season 5

Keep reading

2

I’m posting those two separately and transparent, so that anyone could use them as… idk pic on their blogs or icons or something? Feel free to use them (but pls if you will, remember to credit me)

original post here

Joint Custody battle articles 29/30 June 2016

10 PM EST

Hermione headcanon

I’m sure thatwe’ve all seen at least one post about Hermione being black, or fanart of her as a PoC, and there are many possible ways you reacted to this.

But imagine

Black Hermiojne who makes sure to know as much as she can, so she won’t be part of either stereotype about black people or Muggles

Black Hermione who follows rules to a T because back in the Muggle world racist teachers/classmates would blame her for any misbehavior

Black Hermione who starts SPEW because the treatment of house elves riminds her of how her ancestors were treated, and how her people are still treated so badly

Black Hermione just makes so much more sense to me

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I can’t be the only one who saw the S9 trailer and thought this.