Kíli can’t tell elf genders apart, he just finds everyone really pretty.
(I headcanon that dwarves express their gender with braids, as it’s simple but effective and can be changed as the individual sees fit. As elves don’t have a similar system, younger Dwarves find it difficult to address elves with proper pronouns, because “what do you mean we have to guess based on their features? Assume based on stereotypical traits, how impolite!”)
(this is probably gonna be a long oneshot and once there’s more it’ll be on ao3 but for now, let me know what you think?)
There are things that Kent can handle, and then there are things that Kent cannot, under any circumstances, in any universe, even begin to handle.
As it turns out, watching Jack Zimmermann, Alexei Mashkov, Randall Robinson, and Sebastian St. Martin attempt to build a deck is one of the things that he can’t handle, because holy fucking shit.
It’s about a million degrees out, and they’re all shirtless and covered in sweat and, yeah, it’s the off season, but they’re still professional fucking hockey players, for fucks sake, and Kent realizes then and there that accepting the invitation to spend the week at Jack and Bitty’s new cottage was definitely a mistake because, really.
Except for Mashkov, everybody brought their families, and they’re all friends, and they’re all teammates, and Kent is 99% sure that his invite was a pity one prompted by the Aces losing the Stanley Cup in game seven against the Stars, and he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t belong there at all, and he can’t help but think it’s because he doesn’t.
Listen, mermaids are not usually my thing. I am pretty indifferent towards them in general, but I see a lot of you in my dash posting about mermaids, so I saw this novel and even though I have just started it and I can’t tell you if it’s going to be good or not, I feel it is my civic duty to tell you it exists. Ready?
Ice Massacre, by Tiana Warner.
A book about a little island at war with a growing colony of mermaids living in the waters around them. So they send warriors to fight them, but historically men don’t do very good against that mermaid lure magic thing they do, so they decide to send a ship full of highly trained girl warriors, and the protagonist is the one Useless Lesbian™
of the ship (who, by the way, also happens to be a lady of color, like most people in the island).
Like I said, mermaids are not my thing and I have only read a few chapters, but so far it is fast-paced and action-y, with a touch of fantasy. The kind of entertaining book you read fast and easy.
Sounds good? Happy to hear it. The paperback is fifteen dollars, but it’s literally less than a fucking dollar for Kindle right now and until July the 31st, because a sequel is coming out in two days and they are having a special offer.
Edit: I finished the novel and it was great fun, I basically demolished it in two days. Mostly lots of action (and it gets way more graphic than I expected it to) with a touch of reimagined folklore-ish fantasy. It’s the kind of lovely book you can just keep reading if you want to, and devour it in one go. If you are into fantasy YA, badass lady protagonists and mermaids, give it a go, I know many people around here will enjoy this a lot!