i don't know what's going on really

so i’ve been wondering

a lot of people commented under my videos on youtube like that q&a and morning rant ones saying that they found those videos quite relaxing and calming - and it made me really happy? because i myself mostly watch youtube when i need a distraction from my own mind or from what’s going on in life and i watch vloggers or asmr artists for the same reasons.
which got me thinking - should i try doing in character asmr? like a muggle studies lesson with msp or getting ready for a slytherin party with theo or what’s in teddy’s bag? i don’t have the tech for it right now but i was wondering what you guys thought - yes, no, maybe, not really?

4

He gave me 19 caps and then ascended to heaven. 

As seen in the posts about space Australia, and one mentioning AILENS coming during a zombie epidemic (fuckin beautiful I need that to be a story) I had this idea. Group of teenagers. Zombie apocalypse + Aliens. That one post on how weird it is that when we get scared we SING.

Idea: Teenagers singing MCR’s “mama” in the middle of fending off a horde of zombies. Aliens in the sky just happen to listen in.
____
It had been weeks sense flight crew 158-a landed on the rocky planet, and days since they realized the main intelligent species had been overrun by a viral infection. 3 Terran days ago, they found the group. 10 fledgeling humans, ages seeming to range from before to after development, camping within one of the previous schooling establishments. This one, like a surprising amount of others, had been built with extreme procedure to cause people to be unable to enter or exit. Quite odd, indeed.

What was stranger, is how the humans held their ground during an attack. An estimate of over 60 of the infected, all making their way towards the camp. Instead of fleeing like any Zerca would, they stayed put loading their guns and making their way to high points. On top of the gates, through second-story windows, trees decorating the front and back of the building. And then they waited, and the strangest thing happened. A loud drumming sound came from within the school, coupled with other instruments, and it was resonating with one of the bottom floor rooms. And then their voices started, seemingly ritualistic, anger in the words as bullets started to fire.

“Mama, we all go to hell. Mama we all go to hell-”

2

infodumping about the ocean

Am I the only one that doesn’t care at all that Mon El said that he loved Kara before Sanvers have said it? Like the relationship between Kara and Mon El is messy and lacks development, so I’m not surprised that he said that he loved her so quickly. In all honesty he may not even truly love her, she’s just the first person he’s truly been attached to and not a hook up, which he was doing on Daxam. 

BUT Sanvers has been developed and I’m just waiting for that special moment that they actually say it. Not some type of “I’m saying this cause I don’t want to lose you bullshit,” but they say it cause it’s true. Cause they truly can’t live without one another and love each other, ride or die. When they do say it, it will be impactful and not easily forgotten like Mon El’s confession.

  • Keith: What are Hunk and Pidge arguing about this time?
  • Shiro: They have a bet going about what Lance's like in bed. Pidge thinks he's secretly really kinky but Hunk thinks he's too romantic.
  • Keith: Yeah, he's actually both.
  • Shiro: .....
  • Keith: .....
  • Keith: I mean... How would I know? I don't know what Lance's like in bed.
  • Keith: But I would assume he's both.
  • Lauren: What are Dinah and Mani arguing about this time?
  • Ally: They have a bet going about what Camila's like in bed. Dinah thinks she's secretly really kinky but Mani thinks she's too romantic.
  • Lauren: Yeah, she's actually both.
  • Ally:
  • Lauren:
  • Lauren: I mean... How would I know? I don't know what Camila's like in bed.
  • Lauren: But I would assume she's both.

Fairy Love. She was so beautiful and kind, fairies lived in her heart, because there were so many fairies that she loved, thus in a fairy she become. 

What I love about FT are the characters, and since we are near the end… I’m really going to miss them! So much! I hope these two end up together, I love them so much~

Humans are weird little aliens

I really like the “Humans are space orcs; Earth is space Australia” idea, let’s try this out. 

Crewmates: A Guide To Housing the Main Species by Dr. Troa’Gaa was the name of the book Captain Kii’o grabbed out of the main deck’s bookshelf. He wanted to make sure to properly house the new Human that recently became member of the ship. Captain Kii’o sat beside his co-captain, Maefaa.

“Are you sure having a human aboard is a good idea, Maefaa?” Said the captain.”

“Are you kidding?” Maefaa said. “I’ve heard humans are one of the greatest advantages a captain would want!”

Kii’o didn’t really believe that, but hey. If Maefaa said so, he was inclined to believe it just a tad bit more.

“Alright.” Kii’o said, opening the book and going to the Human section.

“If you are new to housing humans,” Kii’o began reading the book out loud, “be sure to read this guide thoroughly. Humans are unpredictable, so forget everything about the other main species.”

“One of the human’s most surprising abilities”, Kii’o continued, “are their stubbornness. Of course, a race that originated in a Class-B8 Death Planet could only be as stubborn as they come.”

“Class-B8? That’s a little ridiculous. Class-B8s have volcanoes and tornadoes and just about every other weather that wants to kill you.” Maefaa interrupted.

“If a human appears to be superficially hurt, it is not something to worry about. Humans can heal cuts and even broken bones in a matter of weeks. Please, spare your medkits, as they usually are not needed, assuming no crew battle above rank 2 took place.

If you want to keep humans healthy and thriving, be sure to get at least one ‘pet’, as humans call them. If no ‘pet’ is provided, the human may attempt to bond and/or pet just about any living creature not marked as toxic. ‘Pets’ can be found in any ‘pet shop’, as the human civilisation calls them. If no pets can be found in the human’s pod, the human will most likely try to bond with inanimate objects, and try to pet dangerous animals.”

“Yeah, humans try to pet everything. One time, a human tried to pet the Konoios in sector 4, haha.” Maefaa said.

“What happened then?”

“The Konoio didn’t attack. That’s it. They just… stared at each other.”

“Are you sure humans aren’t psychic? Konioios are really aggressive, most of the time.”

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it at first too.”

“Did the Konoio run away?”

“No, it ended up becoming the human’s pet. Now everyone’s afraid of going into the human’s pod, haha.”


(Did you like it? Let me know, and I’ll keep writing!)

okay, it took me a while to write everything down, but here are my thoughts and reactions to the last 19 days chapter!! (an alternative title for this could be ‘how to make people regret asking about your thoughts’)

anyway, it’s been pretty hard for me to put some order to my thoughts, because im just!!!!!!! so in love with this chapter!!!!!!!! it’s been a whole day and im still such a mess, there are noises coming out of my mouth but they’re not human, and i can’t find the right words to express how i feel because this update wAS TOO MUCH FOR MY POOR HEART

i think this might be my favorite tianshan chapter, tho it’s a very close tie with chapter 185, and im afraid i’ve been kinda all over the place, but hopefully it makes sense!! (putting this under a cut because it’s really long and there are some pictures)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Sam doesn't eat unless he has to while Dean's a demon. When he gets Dean back, the first thing his big brother notices is how skinny and weak he is. Dean goes into ultra protective mode and is so gentle and loving to Sam. He makes him food and when they have sex, Dean is gentle and he makes Sam feel so safe and secure again. Dean goes on and on about how his Sammy needs to be good and healthy, and how well he's doing as he keeps gaining weight. Dean supports him through all of jt.

he’s not purposely starving himself, you know? it’s just… he’s worried about other things, about more important matters, about his brother. trying to find dean, trying to find a cure, trying to figure out a way to make sure that he can actually get his brother back, it all seems more important than eating. now he isn’t stupid. he knows that he can’t continue living without eating something it’s just when he does eat, it’s just enough to take the edge off his hunger that isn’t really there.

he just knows that he’s this far from finding a cure and if he pushes through this then dean will be alright and he’ll be back to his old self and sam can stop worrying about that. he just has to push a little harder for just a little longer.

demon!dean makes a comment about it, how sam looks as skinny as he did when he was a gangly teen and they were doing things that no brother should do in the backseat of the impala. demon!dean would smile as he said “don’t you remember how i would just split you open on my cock, sammy? how you would beg for it. how much of a slut you were for it. begging me to stuff you full and tear you in half. i’m sure that if you released me now, i could still split you open, still make you beg for it. hell, i probably wouldn’t even fit. your body is too tiny now to take me all the way.”

it wasn’t like the other jabs that demon!dean sent his way, saying that dean had cared his ass for all his life, always looking after him and how he never wanted that. and it wasn’t like the jab that he sent towards sam saying that dean never really wanted sam in that way, he just couldn’t stand making the kid sad. but regardless it hurt to hear because sam was certain that dean was right. he probably wouldn’t be able to fit dean inside of him anymore. it’s been too long and he’s lost so much weight and yet sam would still probably beg for it. he would beg and cry until dean broke him in half and still want more.

but then sam cured dean, purified that demon blood or whatever and then sam had his brother back and he felt weak and small. his body sagged on his bed (dean didn’t want to be around him anymore. he ran off to his room the moment that sam released him and he took the hint. dean didn’t want to have anything else with him.) and he felt like he would just sink through. he was hungry, more than hungry. he was starving and yet he couldn’t bring himself to walk into the kitchen and get something to eat. it seemed like it was too much effort.

curing dean, it was supposed to fix everything. everything was supposed to go back to how it was before he was a demon and everything was supposed to be alright.

there’s a tentative knock at his door and he’s expecting cas, telling him that dean has finally gotten to sleep and that he should eat something or something like that but he’s surprised when the door pushes open and it’s dean standing there, holding a tray of food in his hand, standing in the door like he’s not welcome which was weird to see because dean was always welcomed in his room.

yet there dean was, standing in the doorway like he was a stranger, waiting for sam’s permission to come in.

you don’t have to ask, dean.” sam finally said when it was clear that dean wasn’t going to walk in on his own. “you’re always welcomed in my room. always.” he’s not sure why he’s trying to make that point but he is. he wants dean to know that anything of sam’s is something of his.

oh… uhh… okay.” dean said, pushing the door open wider and he’s almost blushing, like he was embarrassed to think that he wasn’t welcomed or maybe he was embarrassed to think that sam still wanted him. after everything he did. everything he said. “i… uhh… i made you some food. you just… you look…

dean trailed off. how were you supposed to nicely say that you’ve lost so much weight that you look unhealthy.

but sam sat up straighter on his bed, leaning against the head board and his heart hurts in his chest because it looks like dean actually tried to make him something that he would like. the salad looked fresh. the chicken still looked hot. the apple that dean had sliced open looked good and it was nothing like what dean normally ate and yet he still tried. he was trying to make it up to sam.

sam barely ate three of the apples slices and picked at the salad before he pushed the tray away, claiming that he was full and dean didn’t doubt it for a second but he still urged sam to eat just another apple slice.

sam looked at the apple and then looked up at dean, his jaw locked in that childlike defiance and dean ran a hand through his hair.

listen, sammy, i know that i’m in no position to ask you to do anything. in fact, i’m the last person that should ask you to do anything but you’ve gotta eat a little more, man. please. just a couple bites of chicken. we’ve gotta… you’ve gotta get healthy. you’re skin and bones and it’s all because…because of me. even though dean didn’t say that, sam knew what he meant to say. and he wanted to deny it. it wasn’t because of dean, sam had every opportunity to eat, he just didn’t.

instead it ate a full slice of chicken and a couple more pieces of apple and he looked up at dean, his stomach stuffed and he didn’t miss the fond little smile that was on dean’s face. except dean was sitting at the edge of the bed, so far away and sam wanted him so much closer. needed him closer.

good job, sammy.” dean praised, picking up the tray and backing out of the room. “you did such a good job.” he paused at the door, looking as if he wanted to say more before he walked out. “i’ll see you in the morning.”

for breakfast dean makes oatmeal and the hot meal feels good going down his stomach and it tastes so good that he can’t help but eat it all. it was so much food and a few minutes later, it comes back up and sam knew he shouldn’t have eaten it all. his stomach couldn’t handle that much food after not eating for so long. he needed to take it slower but dean was there, rubbing light fingers up and down his back, saying that it was okay. they’ll try something else and he pressed a cool washcloth to the back of his face and when sam gained the color back to his skin, dean backed away from sam, ceasing all contact and sam missed that the most.

dean helped sam gain weight back. every meal that sam had was a home cooked meal and it was something different and dean would ask how sam liked it and sam would reply truthfully. there was one night that sam stumbled upon dean fast asleep with his head resting in some book in the library. and upon further inspection, sam saw that it was a cookbook with post-it notes sticking out all over the place. sam gently pulled the book from out underneath dean’s head and on it post-it note was dean’s handwriting, writing down notes, whether or not sam liked whatever was on that page and sam’s heart swelled at the sight.

it took a while. that’s a lie actually. it took forever for dean to actually touch sam like they used to. dean had folded back into himself, refused himself to touch sam longer than he absolutely had to and whenever sam would try to initiate any kind of contact, dean would cut it off, make up some excuse why he had to leave and do something else.

however, slowly sam started touching dean longer and dean allowed himself to stay there while sam touched. a couple of fingers to the back of the hand. elbows and knees pressed together while they’re sitting next to each other at the table. it’s small but it feels like some much to sam.

there’s one night where dean doesn’t seem as shielded as he normally is and they’re in sam’s room watching some movie and sam managed to crawl up under dean’s arm and dean wrapped it around sam’s shoulder for the whole movie. now in the morning, dean seemed even more distant that he had before and anytime there was even the smallest point of contact, dean flinched like he was burned.

sam had long gained back the weight that he had lost when they first had sex. dean was in his room, leaning up against the headboard, staring off into nothing when sam let himself in and crawled onto dean’s bed and all but begged dean to touch him. that he needed it and it was low because sam knew that dean would do anything that sam asked but it wasn’t a lie. he missed dean. he missed him tremendously and having dean just within reach and yet having dean seem like he was miles away hurt more than any kind of pain could feel.

it started out with sam touching dean. slowly undressing him, kissing him, whispering praise and forgiveness for everything that dean ever said to him in his skin and soon dean was trembling underneath sam’s touch and it was everything that sam wanted.

he was fully content with riding dean, taking whatever he was willing to get but sam sunk his teeth into the flesh the spot where dean’s heart was, sucked a deep, purple spot there and it seemed to flip some kind of switch inside of dean.

dean flipped them and then it was sam’s turn to be worshipped with fingers and lips and the entire time dean couldn’t stop himself for apologizing, saying that he wanted sam, that he needed him, that he didn’t mean any of what he said when he was a demon. it was all a ploy to try to get sam to let him go and sam ran a hand through dean’s hair and told him that it’s okay. that he knows.

as much as dean hates to admit it and he probably won’t ever admit it, he buried his head in the crook of sam’s shoulder as he pushed inside of him and cried.

sam felt like crying too because it was all too much. the way that dean was treating him, like he was this fragile thing that dean didn’t even deserve touching, treating him with so much care, being so gentle that sam wasn’t sure that this was still his dean because dean hadn’t been this gentle with him since the first time they did this. or when dean sold his soul for him to bring him back from the dead.

so it’s kind of a give and take, ya know. dean nurses sam back to health. holds his hair back when sam throws back up his meal because he just can’t keep it down and sam shows dean that he is worthy of forgiveness.