i don't know what to do because all i want to do is make people happy

''surprising'' facts about the signs
  • aries: reaaaaalllly fucking sensitive. that's maybe why they can get angry pretty fast, because they just take shit too personal sometimes, and they can't deal with it. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, they're actually fucking adorable and smol little beans who just crave love.
  • taurus: very care-free and they do not care about a single shitt. they're very hard-working though and they try to get shit done, but they are also very lazy, which isn't really surprising.. they are also very quick to anger, just like aries.
  • gemini: gemini isn't THAT two-faced like people think. they're just moody. they can get easily annoyed and that's why their mood can change pretty fast.
  • cancer: they're pretty obsessed with themselves and they can be really fucking cocky. they secretly like to make others suffer and make them feel shitty. they do it very slowly and careful though, so people won't notice it.
  • leo: really insecure, but never shows their insecure side bc they still want to shine in the spotlight, without people noticing their flaws, if they even have them because most leo's are flawless af.
  • virgo: they tend to worry a lot, still they don't really care about shit. i know that it sounds weird, but it's true! well, at least for the virgo's i know in real life. they tend to worry a lot about their work and school stuff, but they don't really do anything for it, but they also don't really care. however, they always seem to make everything perfect.
  • libra: they are reallllyyyyyy insecure in their relationships. they're usually a pro at relationships, but they are really insecure about it and they often don't know how to deal with them, or what to do with them.
  • scorpio: they are perfectionists. i don't really know if it's surprising, but they are perfectionists. i mean, they are very ambitious and that isn't a surprising fact, but just like virgo, they want everything to be perfect.
  • sagittarius: they are soft little beaaans. don't hurt them please. they seem really tough and strong, but they're realy sensitive. NEVER SHOWS IT THOUGH. you will never know when they're sad or anything, they always want to stay positive and happy, so they do.
  • capricorn: they seem to be emotionless and insensitive, but that's just because they want to be like that. they don't want all these feelings and emotions. but everyone has them, so they do too, but they try to hide it with sarcasm and sometimes even with anger.
  • aquarius: they have LOTS and LOTS of emotions floating in their head and heart and they just don't know what to do with it, so they just let their emotions destroy them, without saying a word. i don't know if it is a surprising fact, but i think it is.
  • pisces: isn't that innocent than most people think they are. they have a weapon which is called, baby face. they have this innocent little face that makes you think that they're all niceee and sweeeet buT NO. they're really good at backstabbing.

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice, odd question but: Do you believe asexuals belong in the LGBT community? I have a friend who identifies this way, but as a trans girl, I'm struggling to understand how she has to go through the same things as an LGBT person by being asexual. And struggle aside, I don't even see how asexuality is THAT different from heterosexuality, just with more... hesitation!? Maybe this sounds rude, but I know you've written about asexual people etc, and I wondered what you thought. No shade intended

Hi there. I’m glad you reached out to me about this because you must have really upset your friend by saying stuff like this to them.

It’s easy to see why not only cishet people, but also LGBT+ people, think that asexuality is fake. The world is awash with sex and sexual attraction. It’s everywhere. And everyone is supposed to want it and feel it. It’s so extremely normalised that the idea that someone could be literally UNABLE to feel sexual attraction is, to many people, absolutely bizarre and a joke.

Even if you acknowledge that asexuality is real, it’s also easy to see why you would be so quick to reject and get angry at asexual people who call themselves LGBT+. Because asexual people are not like you, are they. Unless they are trans, asexuals don’t have gender troubles, and unless they experience same-gender romantic attraction, asexuals don’t experience same-gender attraction! Lesbian, bi, gay etc people can all be joined together in their experience of same gender attraction, and all trans folks, binary and non binary, can be joined together in their experience of feeing a disconnect from their assigned birth gender.

The result? No one wants asexuals near them. People can’t relate. No one else feels the way asexuals do and people don’t think they should be part of the group. They’re not the same as you.

But oh god, they are not allowed in the cishet club either.

The first thing you need to try and unlearn is that asexuality is in any way similar to heterosexuality. It’s not. It’s so, so fucking not. It’s painful how different it feels to be asexual compared to being heterosexual. Telling an ace person that asexuality isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’ is about as accurate as saying being gay isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’. Being asexual means you do not experience sexual attraction, ever. EVER. And while that might seem easy to you, it’s an extremely painful and terrifying thing to learn about yourself, in a world where everyone is expected to have an array of sexual experiences, fall in love, get married, and anyone who doesn’t do that is strange and a freak.

Learning you are asexual can be terrifying. When you realise you’ve never had a crush, when all your friends have had ten each, you are terrified. When you pass the age where people have started dating and having sex and you still feel nothing - NOTHING - you are terrified. When you think about ever falling in love and the idea disgusts you, or you think about falling in love and you crave it, god you CRAVE it, but you know you can’t ever feel that, you are terrified. When you realise you will never be able to enjoy a normal romantic/sexual relationship, the ones full of passion like you see in the movies, and people will reject you because you can’t fancy them in that way, and there’s a higher chance for you than anyone else that you will simply die alone, without love, without children - you are terrified.

You think being ace is the same as heterosexuality? You think it’s an easy thing to learn about yourself? Explain the terror, then. I’m all ears.

The fact you see asexuality as 'hesitation’ is really horrifying to me. Asexuals aren’t attracted to the opposite gender but 'hesitant’ to act on it. Asexuals DO NOT feel attraction. To anyone. It’s not a choice. It’s not a way of life. It’s not the same as celibacy out of choice, or being a 'prude’, or waiting till marriage. It is ingrained in you, just like being gay is, just like being trans is. It is a part of you that no matter how hard you try to will it away, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise, you cannot help it. You DO NOT feel attracted to ANYONE.

And in saying all this, I fully acknowledge that asexuals do not experience the extent of oppression that other LGBT+ folks do. There are no laws regarding asexuality. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and other LGBT+ folks no doubt experience a higher level and intensity of systematic oppression to asexuals, more frequently go through hard experiences due to their orientation or gender. But since when did being LGBT+ become a competition for 'who’s the most oppressed’? Is that what LGBT+ is? You’re only allowed in the club if you’re 'oppressed enough’? If you’re 'gay enough’? If you’re 'trans enough’?

If you need persuading that asexuals do experience their own form of oppression, though, consider the number of asexuals who are coerced into sex in order to 'fix’ them. Consider the emotional pain that I have already discussed, of feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong and gross about you because you feel attracted to no one. Consider the number of asexuals who are hounded or emotionally abused by their families for failing to find partners. Consider the number of asexuals who force themselves to have sexual experiences, because it is the norm, because they don’t even know what asexuality is, because THEY think that they are just 'hesitant’, despite finding sex disgusting and feeling no desire to do it. Do you really think asexuals are just running around, free and happy and content in who they are? They aren’t. I’m not.

So go ahead. Cast aside asexuals if you want. Call them attention-seeking, call them special snowflakes. Ignore the pain they feel. Make them go through it alone, in pain, terrified of what they are. Why on earth would the LGBT+ community be a place to support people like that!?

Messages like the one you have just sent me gives me further reason to never talk about that part of myself. To just sit and cry about it at home day after day because I do not like myself. Because I feel that nobody will accept me or understand who I am. I could list the number of things people have said to me to discredit and laugh at this part of myself, but it’s people like you who make me embarrassed to talk about it, too scared to own a label and talk about it freely and openly.

I thought, going into this, that the LGBT+ community was one of total respect, understanding, and empathy. I learnt pretty quickly that it is not.

I send love to your asexual friend. I really, really do.

Disclaimer: I am very aware of the nuances of asexuality, of the differences between romantic/aesthetic/sexual attraction, but sadly it seems that many people can’t even grasp the basic concept of asexuality, so I don’t quite think they’re ready for that yet.

Moon thru the signs 🌙
  • Aries: emotionally comfortable in the thick of firey adventure, extremely uncomfortable with stagnation in life, things always need to be exciting, they are on the go go go towards new life, will shake things up even if that means they have to ruffle some feathers, they can't sit still with the concept of boring.. Feeling bored is something they have no patience for. The sense of Self is a strong component to their emotional balance.. "What do I need right now? Will this feel right for me? Is this what I want to do?" Aries is all about personal will. They need to feel like they are expressing that will in ways that ignite their passion. Being forced into exerting energy towards something they don't care about is a deep root of distress. Emotionally quick tempered, their emotions are always evolving and morphing into something new..their emotions hit them like fireballs that encompass their entire being.. In the heat of their emotions that moment is the biggest and most intense moment ever ever ever !!! ...for a few minutes.. Then they're onto something new. When your Aries Moon is flying around on fire in the heat of their emotions, sit with them and LISTEN to the experience they are having. A deep therapy for the Moon here is to be able to express their emotions to you within their personal "I" experience. They matter a lot to themselves. Hold space for this.
  • Taurus: slowww and calmmm, Apple pie and lemon balm... I've seen this placement be wonderful and disastrous.. These people are comfortable in their home, in sensual pleasures, earthly delights. In a lower context they are way too attached to the material world, they will acquire so much random stuff that they don't know what to do with themselves but they feel like they need all the stuff.. If they ever got to a moment where they needed something completely random and they didn't HAVE that random thing.. Well that would be distressing for them. While their dependence on the material world can hold them back at times, it is absolutely admirable just how deeply in touch with it they are. They take the home very seriously, they are ones who will just stay home and be grounded instead of going out and running around in life.. Like a happy bear in its cave.. Within that cave there they are listening to awesome beautiful music, making great food, working with herbs, stacking wood, loving their good company.. Why would they ever want to leave that ?? Because there's a whole world out there moon in Taurus.. A whole world:)their emotions hit them on a bodily earthly level where they process and move through the emotional realm with the help of the natural world.. A moon in Taurus needs to be connected with nature more than any other moon.. They are the grounded ass f**kers.. They are emotionally comfortable BEING grounded.. So on the flip side when they can't find grounding or comfort in their material home they are in a state of perpetual chaos..
  • Gemini: emotionally comfortable anywhere and everywhere!! As long as they're having fun and being stimulated by interesting things it's all good! Moon in gemini's really can and will talk to any sort of person. They are comfortable in any situation they are in. Moon in gemini's often have to learn how to find a home within themselves, they could be all dirty playing music on the side of the street with a nice hobo, or they could be in a rich million dollar apartment around a ton of people they don't know.. Where ever they are, they are super curious and interested in everything happening.. Happy to be there..Needing that stimulation from all things interesting.. They are very socially adaptable folk.. They know how to dissect conversation and meet people where they are at.. Which often entails them wearing a mask and not being their truest self.. Being who someone wants you to be in a situation.. It can be distressing at times once they realize how much energy they put into connecting with ones on a shallow level, it takes a lot out of them, they have to bring it back and realize.. Yes this is all fun and good but they ones who will feed my soul are the ones who KNOW my soul.. As for emotions.. It's mutable so the experience of emotions is very impacted from the rest of the chart but this conscious moon energy really rationalized and intelecualitzes emotions.. Sometimes they box their emotions up for a rainy day.. They need to learn how to let themselves feel emotions, they have emotions but they are literally capable of making themselves not feel them.. A way a moon in Gemini would relax and calm down would be through researching, chatting, and thinking about thing.. Here the moon lives within the mind. (My placement)
  • Cancer: to put it simply, uncontrollable emotional state. This is a beautiful thing.. Moon in cancers have an emotional inner world that renders a fine work of art.. So many colors. What they experience in the waters of human emotion is special and unique because the moons archetype is fully at home here.. The moon is felt deeply in this person.. There's so much beauty.. But the conflict here is that the cancer moon doesn't have control of their emotional state, so it can be really difficult to do things because their FEELINGS are first priority.. They are likely to feel more comfortable within the comfort of soft lights, warm tea, nice fireplace, and loving company. However this is fully dependent on the rest of their chart. Water signs are fluid. Maybe they are more emotionally comfortable partying and having adventure because of a Mars in Aries and a sun in Saggitarius.. no matter what influences their emotional world goes so deep. They care. They want to nurture. They FEEEEEEEL. The moon is integral for these people, its important for them to connect with the moon through ritual or meditation.. This will help balance their emotions.. Even if they don't understand it on a conscious level, creating a personal relationship with the moon will subconsciously help them with emotional balance. A moon in Cancer wants to make you feel safe. They want to take care of you and your emotions. They will give so much... Sometimes too much.
  • Leo: these ones feel comfortable in the spotlight, whether that is within an intimate relationship, their family, their social sphere, or literally on a stage.. their comfort state lies within broadcasting their life for all to see. They have a need to share everything.. they want to share themselves, share their experience, their relationships, even the clothing on their back. This moon energy is so warm and generous. In return, these ones need a lot of admiration, attention, and affection in their relationships, they need to feel validated through being so expressive or insecurity will arise. Moreso than other Leo placements, the Moon here truly needs that attention from others, their emotional state depends on it. They draw life energy through being among different influxes of energy and shining their bright creative light within it. As for emotions, they are dramatic, hopeless romantic sonnets of internal poetry for the ones they love, dramatic boisterous crying when a sharp chord is struck, or totally uncontrollable angry fire rage when provoked. A series of extremes. They must channel their emotions into creative expression, they must have people who can give them the attentiveness they need in their bouts of emotion. Pushing them away will hurt them. They want to be close to you, themselves, their life.. they don't want to feel separate and distant. You'll find your moon in Leo being the life of the party, the friend in the group who brings all of the creative fun, their light is strong.. Its their emotional state. This placement has its challenges but I find it so beautiful.
  • Virgo: A strong need for everything to be in order, for life to be in order in all of its finer details. Whether the moon in Virgo reaches that or not reveals their level of emotional balance. They are going through life on the outside looking in. Anylizing, discerning, critiquing, this will either be deeply channeled inward, outward, or both. If you meet a Virgo Moon who does have their life in order, looks put together, has a clean organized place to live, is actively working and integrating into the structure of the world.. They are probably emotionally balanced.. And their emotions express themselves as a steady stream of relaxation due to a success of implementing order in chaos. So on the flip side.. If you meet a Virgo Moon who, to put it simply, does not have their shit together.. They are likely extremely ungrounded with their emotions scattered everywhere and nowhere living in the mercury depth of their overactive mind. They process their emotions by THINKING, they need to understand everything about what it is they are feeling and why before they can ever reach a state of peace in that feeling. Overthinking, irrational worrying, vicious self criticism are shadow elements to this placement. This is a very challenging place for the Moon. The moon is the fluid intuitive waters of emotion and Virgo is the Mercury virginal energy of mental structure and organization fine tuning life to be perfect. They don't exactly mesh well together in their natural archetypes. However, if an individual has a well aspected Virgo moon or learns how to make good use of this placement.. its an extremely competent energy. Their life will be ordered and structured to the 9's.. No worry will ever need to surface about anything because they have their shit together in the most perfect way. And in that state they experience ultimate relaxation.
  • Libra: to feel emotionally comfortable these people need a balance. They need to feel like there is a balance in their workplace, relationships, home life, and within themselves. They need to feel like there is an equal contribution on the part of everyone involved in every aspect of life, that everyone is contributing equally to establishing a balance. If it's imbalanced there is distress.. A distress that either causes emotional turmoil or a distress that motivates them to mediate the energy of the imbalanced situation. They have a very calm and .. Well.. Balanced approach to their emotions. It hits them in an intellectual way where they really observe everything they are feeling and transmute it into a steady stream of balance. They could repress emotions because of this. If emotions are going upppp and doowwwwnn they are gonna try and pull it to the center and push it forward. A continuous evolution of feeling. This steady stream causes them to have challenge with experiencing intensity of emotion.. To experience the full spectrum of emotion.. They don't want their emotions to hold them back or bring them out of alignment in any way. Hence, the repression.. And repressing anything leads it to bubble up and explode... That's where the intensity comes in.. When the bottled up and down emotions are forced up to the surface they HAVE to face it and deal with it or else they feel unable to move forward. Another component to this placement is that they Deffinetly feel emotionally comfortable and fulfilled with Venusian things.. They are gonna really value art, atheistic beauty, the beauty of ones soul, physical features, and emotions.. Because it fills THEIR emotion to experience such pleasure. The pleasureful side of life integrates with them on a deep level. They are likely to be pretty romantic in relationships, they completely romanticize and paint their love emotions like a beautiful painting of exquisite design.. Whether the reality of the love experience lives up to that is either their emotional challenge or their emotional exaltation.
  • Scorpio: INTENSE EMOTIONAL WORLD. Uncontrollable deep waters of emotion like moon in cancer.. Accept in a life or death kind of way. Emotions go to the core of ones soul. "I LOVE you." "I HATE you" "You have BETRAYED me" "I NEED you" Nothing is shallow or superficial in their emotional world..they are literally incapable of that. These people will love you to death, litterally. There is a likely hood for possessiveness with this placement. A likelyhood for nothing to be taken lightly. I remember I was babysitting a moon in Scorpio girl one time and she dropped a bunch of cards or something and they were scattering everywhere inbetween the couch cushions. I watched this girl get so distressed, heavy breathing, intense look on her face, super not at ease as she was trying to collect everything that just fell apart. My Virgo self completely cleaned up and organized the cards for her. She was passionately thankful that turmoil was taken care of for her. These people are very perceptive.. They have a really acute sense of awareness in their surroundings.. The psychic eyes.. They pick up on the subtleties around them.. They are empathetic to the energies in their life. There is a strong possibility for metaphysical psychic ability with this placement of they are exalting their energy. A moon in Scorpio on the light side will have a deep power and capacity to have such an amazing passionate colorful emotional world. A less evolved moon here will be experiencing such intense emotions they can't help but burn bridges with people. Their emotional needs and requirements are strong. With this placement they are also likely to keep their emotions very secretive from the world. They don't think anyone needs to know what they are feeling. This can cause deception and being super guarded in themselves. On the flip side, there is a powerful opportunity for transformational beauty when they do open up their inner world to someone. I'd say overall moon in Scorpio is awesome but it's extremely challenging. Like the moon in any water signs- emotions come FIRST.
  • Sagittarius: ahh the endless explorers of life. These individuals need a sense of expansion in their life to feel emotionally fulfilled. They need hope, inspiration, purpose, a promise of adventure.. Of growth.. Of a new horizon. They are comfortable in the action of expansion, whether that is going to a new place, learning something, or integrating into new relationships. It's hard to emotionally pin them down. They are on the move in their fluid state. In a relationship they need some who can hold space and swim with their currents because of they are in a flux state of perpetual evolution in regards to their emotional world. Like moon in Gemini or Aries.. They are so forward directed with going towards some new energy with their emotions.. They can be flakey. With these folk there can be room for emotional shallowness. Not always, but Saggitarus is the one who wants to have fun! They are the lighthearted archers prancing through all of the parties and people and foreign lands. It is a potential challenge for them to get caught up in some dense, heavy, stagnant emotional turmoil. They don't want to experience turmoil, they want to be having a good time! However, this is a fire sign.. The heat of their emotions DOES hit them. It's not like moon in libra where intense emotions come in and immediately get brought to a neutral line of balance. No, the intensity of emotion IS there. It's a matter of them taking the time to let them go deep into uncomfortable emotions. They would rather not be concerned with uncomfortable emotional depth at all if they didn't have to. But they have to deal with it or they will totally explode into a fire ball of saggitarius aggression. Give your little moon in Saggi some space in the heat of emotional turmoil and know that with a gentle touch and soft heart they will come to a place of opening up their emotional world with you.
  • Capricorn: Emotions here are very guarded. This is a hard placement for the waters of the moon. One may even fear their emotions with this placement, they may be mechanical and cold in this sense. Their emotions will not be tolerated if it's holding them back in anyway. Their emotional comfort lies in knowing they are competently moving forward into success with their life. The feeling of having their shit together is key for emotional balance. A moon in Cap won't want to be held back due to their emotional world. This is powerfully beneficial because they can really get shit done without having to deal with any of that cancer moon emotional stuff. However unless there is water in other places in their chart.. It leaves them in a place of emotional lack. They just aren't capable of feeling to the extent that others do because they don't let themselves. And that can be a conflict in itself because maybe it would give them a deeper feeling of competence if they COULD feel how others do. They really need to feel safe and secure and sturdy before they open up their inner world to someone. You have to win their trust to get to break that shell. This placement has a lot of good potential but also an immense possibility for challenge. With any moon, especially this one, that is all correspondent to the other aspects in a chart.
  • Aquarius: Emotionally comfortable in the realms of individualism.. they like their own kind of music, their own style, their own unique "fit" into the world.. They are emotionally satisfied in their inner world of "ME". Not "me" in the bright beaming self-centered way of Leo, no, its in the sense of "I am standing here feeling so different than all of you people" Whether they find solace or distress in that.. its a deep archetype that they feel. These people are living on the outside looking in- they are extremely extremely observant. They often they feel separate and detached out in the world, observing, putting all of the pieces together like mechanical machinery. They are very interested in life, in you, in your thoughts, in why things the way they are. They are taking it all in. With their emotions they need a lot of space to process it. They can really distance themselves from their emotions and the people who are making them feel emotions. Emotions are a lot for them to intellectually grasp, they want to grasp and come to an understanding of every facet of it, and they need time on their own to do this. Theres also room with this placement for close mindedness towards other ways of doing things. There is a likely hood for these people to feel they are doing and handling things they absolute best way possible, better than anyone else, they know how to handle their emotions, their life, their inner world. Its possible for arrogance and ignorance to be found here. Maybe they do really know how to handle their inner world better than how you think they can..... But also maybe... They really could use a word of advice. Theres a rigidness to this moon placement. These people find self-justified satisfaction in doing things exactly the way they think they should do it, it eases their emotional realm. There is room for complacency in arrogance here as their is room for extremely positive inner innovation and evolution of self.
  • Pisces: Your inner world is the ocean. Where does it begin? Where does it end? You don't know, actually, no one knows. Your emotions are the definition of fluid. Interchangeable and uncontrollable. You are melting into your emotions. When you fall in love, you FALL in LOVE. When you feel sorrow, you FEEL sorrrrrrowww. Emotions are so real for you. You feel your emotions in your blood. Your emotional world is operating in the dreamstate. You are comfortable in ethereal experiences, the surreal beauty of nature, the most amazing poem recited at a word slam, looking deep into the eyes of your lover. Life just holds a more surreal note for you. When you feel emotionally comfortable, every single particle of who you are integrates into a peace and calm of giving everything to the moment of emotional comfort. When you feel emotionally uncomfortable, red sirens are going off in your being, everything is viciously not okay. You might have issues with boundaries, you let people in so deep into your emotional realm and you share so much. Yet, when you draw a boundary, you aggressively instate it into being. You want what you want, you may disregard what is good for you, or you may draw every boundary in the book to make sure whats happening is good for you. No matter what situation you're in- good or bad, you're in it for the feeling, for the essence, the energy. Moon in Pisces will bring you into a different world.
  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.

Katara: It’s not magic. It’s waterbending, and it’s-
Sokka: Yeah, yeah, an ancient art unique to our culture, blah blah blah. Look, I’m just saying that if I had weird powers, I’d keep my weirdness to myself. 

So I wanted to talk a little about Katara, because I think we often focus on her grief for her mother, and forget her relationship to her culture, and her experience of the Southern Water Tribe genocide (unlike the Air Nomads genocide, which was for the greater part over after four big terrifyingly effective simultaneous strikes, this one took place over a long length of time - more than 40 years? 50? - and it wasn’t total, but it definitely was one. genocide = the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group, fwiw)

(Kanna’s village - before and after)

All of the Southern water benders were exterminated or taken away to rot in prison (where they all died eventually except for Hama). Katara was born the only bender left in the whole South Pole. Then when she was eight years old, she survived a raid that was meant to kill her, but took her mother instead (she probably was too young to realize that, to her it must have been a question mark up until she met Yon Rha - gratuitous cruelty? Why her mother in particular? They took nothing else!).

So Katara from a young age had a double burden to bear: that of her mother, and the legacy of her bending (and she was shown as painfully aware of her situation and what it meant on both front). But here’s the thing: Katara could be a mother, she was naturally good at it, and her grandmother could teach her what she didn’t already knew. Her family and tribe demanded that of her, they needed her to be that for them (especially after her father and the rest of the men basically abandoned them). However, there was no one left to teach her how to waterbend - she had almost no hope of ever becoming a master without formal training, her brother thought it was silly and weird and let her know, her grandmother thought it was a waste of time. But she kept practicing, because she knew how important it was, to her and to her tribe, that she kept trying (as the only one left who could).

(…an ancient art unique to our culture, blah blah blah…)

(Of course she would obsess over that waterbending scroll)

When she gets to the North Pole, she meets Pakku, and with him the opportunity of finally becoming a true master. But because she is a girl, he judges her unworthy. He judges her, the only remaining southern waterbender, unworthy of carrying on their culture. The Fire Nation didn’t care about the gender of their prisoners, men and women - they all fought side by side for their freedom in the South, and they were all taken away to the last one, and killed to the last one. In the South, the women had the choice to learn how to fight, or be defenseless. And privileged master Pakku couldn’t possible realize the extend of what he was denying her in that moment.

Katara had to prove herself, she had to earn her right to these teachings. And if she had been less good or less stubborn or not Kanna’s granddaughter - well the North would have refused their sister-tribe the power to use their common cultural heritage to fight back against the nation that destroyed them.

(It’s sexist and terrible.)

Meh, thankfully, she was that good, stubborn, and Kanna’s granddaughter, and she did get to become a master.

Good.

But, of course, her story doesn’t end here, and wrt her culture, the next chapter is a much more traumatizing experience. In the Fire Nation, she meets another master. This time it’s an old woman from the South like her (“You’re a waterbender! I’ve never met another waterbender from our tribe!”), and she is, ah, more than willing to help her.

Look how happy Katara looks at the idea to learn from her in particular:

Katara: I can’t tell you what it means to meet you. It’s an honor! You’re a hero.
Hama: I never thought I’d meet another southern waterbender. I‘d like to teach you what I know so that you can carry on the southern tradition when I’m gone.
Katara: Yes! Yes, of course! To learn about my heritage… it would mean everything to me.

But when Hama starts her lesson, the techniques she teaches have been obviously developed with one goal in mind: survival in enemy territory. They can’t possibly have been invented in the South Pole, where water is abundant everywhere. They are deadly and cruel, and the damage they do to the environment leaves Katara sad and uncomfortable, but Hama waves that off as unimportant. It doesn’t matter, she doesn’t have the time to worry about flowers or beauty or nature. To her that peace and beauty is probably just an illusion anyway, a lie: years after her escape she is still living the war, and war is ugly and rotten and messy (her world is ugly and rotten and messy - this is her comfort zone).

The last technique she teaches Katara is bloodbending. She forces Katara to learn something she finds disgusting, repulsive (just like Hama was forced to learn?) by torturing her (Hama was tortured), by overpowering her, invading her, making her lose control over her own body, bending her blood (Hama herself is clinging to the last remain of control she managed to get back after rotting in prison for years), and finally by threatening to have the two people she cares most about in the world kill each other right under her eyes (Hama lost everyone too, she had to say goodbye).

(Katara: But, to reach inside someone and control them? I don’t know if I want that kind of power.
Hama: The choice is not yours. The power exists…and it’s your duty to use the gifts you’ve been given to win this war. Katara, they tried to wipe us out, our entire culture… your mother!
Katara: I know.
Hama: Then you should understand what I’m talking about. We’re the last Waterbenders of the Southern Tribe. We have to fight these people whenever we can. Wherever they are, with any means necessary!
Katara: It’s you. You’re the one who’s making people disappear during the full moons.
Hama: They threw me in prison to rot, along with my brothers and sisters. They deserve the same. You must carry on my work.)

And this, this, is the only truly southern waterbending Katara is ever going to learn. This is her tribe’s bending heritage, what’s left of it: blood, grief, suffering, hatred, loss of control over both your body and mind (because it’s terrible, but I think that’s what’s implied by the show: bloodbending makes you lose your mind. Hama’s only mean of regaining physical freedom ended up trapping her in another nightmare). Hama gifts her with a power she despises (but will use anyway in her darkest hour when she loses control) and a philosophy of violence and revenge.

Katara chose peace and forgiveness. As an adult, she will have bloodbending outlawed, she will become the greatest healer in the world, and she’ll teach her daughter, the next avatar, probably many others. These choices matter, and we should talk about them with that background in mind. Katara redefined her heritage - or rather she created a new one for herself: she refused the condition that was forced upon her (bloodbender) and ensured nobody could legally do to someone else what Hama did to her (and it’s implied this law is valid anywhere in the world). She transmitted Pakku’s warrior teachings, the ones she fought for, to the next generations (and did a great job of it!), but she also taught them how to heal, refusing to separate the arts as in Northern Water Tribe tradition - and healing was something she discovered by herself, that she felt was always a part of her. At that, she became the universally acknowledged best. Her legacy, despite everything that happened to her, will never be one of violence.

tl;dr: Katara is one of the strongest fictional characters ever created bye

To All Writers...

You’re all LIT AS FUCK

I mean seriously you guys pour your heart and soul into this shit. You put in YOUR time and YOUR effort to make these beautiful creations and you don’t NEARLY get the credit you deserve. What must take you days or weeks people will devour in seconds and demand more IMMEDIATELY. Or people treat you like crap because it’s not how THEY wanted it. Honestly you guys are AMAZING. If you’re work takes you 3 hours to write: YOU’RE LIT AS FUCK. If it takes you 3 days: YOU’RE LIT AS FUCK. 3 weeks?: LIT AS FUCK. 300 words long?: LIT AS FUCK. 3,00 words?: LIT AS FUCK. Just started writing?: LIT AS FUCK. Been writing for years?: LIT AS FUCK. Don’t let others discourage you. Fuck ‘em. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. For the love of god you guys don’t nearly get as much love as you deserve. People on here forget that you’re doing this FOR FREE, forget YOU DON’T HAVE TO WRITE FOR US, and forget YOU’RE HUMAN BEINGS WITH LIVES THAT DON’T REVOLVE AROUND WHAT THEY WANT. FUCK THOSE HATERS. Just please remember that there are readers out there that understand this and respect you. that love what you do for us and appreciate every last thing you do

For the people I follow: YOU’RE ESPECIALLY LIT AS FUCK AND I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS:

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story time: presidential edition
  • so you know how everyone has a story
  • you know
  • like the story
  • like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
  • and you know exactly what they mean
  • the story
  • well 
  • i have a story
  • and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
  • barack obama
  • pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
  • and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life

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Hey Voltron Fandom, what the fuck?

I’m going to get straight to the point, you guys are self-destructive and are going to kill the fandom over your petty arguments and stupid self-entitlement. There hasn’t been a day since the beginning of the fandom that everything has just been peaceful for once (and I’ve been here since it’s birth) You all should be ashamed of yourselves, fighting online and hurting real people over fiction (this is not specifically towards ships btw) And I’m putting my foot down at all of this bullshit and trying to stop it

This is pretty lengthy so everything is under the cut

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Humans Are Weird

It is well established among all sentient species that Humans are Weird. Exceptional Humans, however, make the regular humans seem almost tame in comparison.
Yatrov was to show the newest crew member- another Human- “the ropes”, as Human Jenny phrased it.
Upon arriving, however, the newest Human barely spared xir even a glance, which was odd, seeing how Humans prize interaction above all else. Shrugging it off, xe delicately held out a clawed hand to engage in the Human positive-meeting greeting, a “hand-shake” it was aptly named. “I am known as Yatrov, in Human Common tongue. I am sorry to say that I was unable to read your file report, and am thus left without your name. What is it you wish to be called?” Yatrov was genuinely sorry; the ship was in dire need of repairs, and this Human was coming to help.
Instead of taking the proffered hand, the human’s brown eyes stared into xi’s own violet. “I am Giovanni. And you are approximately 7 minutes late. I do not fault you for your tardiness, your job is a busy one, so your apologies are void. I do not need to see the entirety of this ship, I only require the engine room. Take me there and I will begin repairs immediately. Social niceties and other such meaningless things can be done at a later date, if done they must be at all.”
Yatrov felt somewhat slighted; xe’s species did not greet with touch, but it was seen as an insult- a social misdemeanor- to deny the shaking of hands. Attributing it to the Human having been under circumstances that made him “cranky” and to the fact that the Human was excited to work- humans forgot norms when excited, xe had found- Yatrov continued to try to create a pack-bond with this Human, “I have heard many great things about you.”
“Truly?” The Human considered this for a moment, head tilting, “I am merely faster than most, mentally. A marathoner or racer is not spoken of in as high-esteem as those with quick mental facilities are, are they?” The Human was speaking out loud, xe found this practice odd and ignored it. “What exactly have you heard?” The Human tapped their legs with their fingers, adopting a rhythm unknown to xir, and hummed. 
Arrogance or curiosity? “Admittedly, not much has been told. I know that you have several thesis papers, have repaired and improved upon numerous ships, and that you were good enough that our captain was surprised that you even bothered to consider joining our crew.”
“Huh.” And that was that. Giovanni did not speak after that, made no effort to communicate. Giovanni did not try to obtain physical contact. Giovanni remained aloof with even Human crewmates long after he had joined. He also remained fidgety, seemingly unable to keep still, unless it was to engage in a staring contest with the resident cat- to keep the Humans from adopting a weird, deadly creature- or to continue his single-minded work with machinery.
Three weeks after he had joined, the ship was attacked. Vernians boarded the ship, using their many appendages to apprehend multiple members of The Highlight- the ship- at once. No one knew where Giovanni was, and no one would have been surprised if he had left to save his own hide.
Which was precisely why everyone, who were all bound and trying to negotiate with what was essentially pirates, was surprised when Giovanni came around the corner, a knocked out Vernian held under gun point.
Guns pointed at him, Vernians shifted to attack him. “What you need to know: firstly, I have hacked into your language processors. All Vernae will sound like gibberish.” He paused, then grinned ferally. “Try”, he dared.
“Kir-ah?!” They did, and did not seem pleased with the results.
“Back! Restore!” the voices of Vernians screeched, their language translators on the fritz. 
“Secondly,” he paused, “I will shoot your friend if you do not release my own.” When an uproar of shouting started again, he blandly stated, “Blank point will be quite messy, won’t it?” He hummed, as though in thought, though his eyes trailed after every movement the Vernians made.
A smaller one, likely emotionally closer to the Vernian Giovanni was holding captive,  pounced.
ZZZZZT-PA! The Vernian howled, two of its 11 “arms” gone. “My threat is not idle.”
The room quieted, members of the Highlighter slowly being released.
“Thirdly.” His lips pursed, his nose tilted, sneer deadly, “Run, and pray that I never see you again!” He shot a wall, and they scattered, leaving the crew of The Highlighter mostly unscathed.
It was hours later, after the chaos was settled and the ship fixed up again, that Yatrov approached Giovanni.
“Why did you save us?”
Giovanni scrunched his thick eyebrows together, “Why ever would I not?”
“You make no attempt to communicate with us.” Yatrov insisted, trying to discover the reason Giovanni would do something without some sort of gain.
“Oh, that.” He dismissively waved his hand, his face again lax and bored. “I do not see the point in wasting words. I enjoy the presence of the crew, and- while I see no point in engaging in it- their idle chatter is amusing to listen to.” He raised an eyebrow, “Why do you ask?”
“The crew operated under the belief that you disliked us.” Yatrov felt a small bit of shame; clearly, Yatrov had been wrong to assume that all Humans were so similar.
“I-” He looked hurt, eyes filling with water- tears, they were called, and Yatrov knew that this was not a good sign. His lips twitched, his words near whispered, “Did you not consider me a friend? I thought we were.” He had begun nervously threading his fingers, humming lightly.
“I thought you disliked me.” Yatrov’s admission only increased xir’s guilt, and the slight tremors of the Humans smaller body.
“I made you and the others a new computer.” Giovanni’s eyes searched Yatrov’s one, and again found no solace. A computer did not equate to friendship. “I *made* you and the others a new computer.” The emphasis hit Yatrov. Why would one handmake something if the person receiving it did not matter to them.
“I am sorry.” Yatrov paused, xe had seen it in a Human film once, maybe…? “Can we start over?” A small nod eased Yatrov’s mind and reaffirmed xir’s decision. “I am the one known as Yatrov, and I enjoy reading: fiction, typically.” Xe did not hold out his hand, but stared Giovanni right in the eye.
The smirk on Giovanni’s face told xir that the actions- or lack there of- was not missed. “I am known as Giovanni.” He held out his hand, looking smug and slightly proud of remembering this, as their hands clasped, he said, “I enjoy sandwhiches, science, and conversations on how realistic or achievable a work of fiction can be. It will be a pleasure to work with you.”

Humans were odd, but exceptional Humans lived by a very different set of rules. Intelligence changed their perceptions. Yatrov knew, from personal experience, that they were still Human, still fantastic and horrifying, at their core. Yatrov put down the book xe was reading, looking up to watch Giovanni’s animated expressions as he ranted about machinery. Yes, truly, Humans are Weird.


(Please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes, my hand has been cramping up lately and it is hard to write at the moment. And I should not be writing sci-fi, because it is NOT my forte, but I had a plot-bunny and felt the need to attempt it. This is basically a shortened version of what I wanted to write, skipping over much of what I actually wanted to put down. Feel free to take the general idea and write something better XD )

anonymous asked:

don't know if you watch pd101 but if you do could you pleaaaase write a kang daniel college!au? he has effectively ruined my life 🙃🙃🙃🙃

i do!! ill write a mini one for him ^^

  • major: public health + paramedic certificate because he wants to work as a part of an ER response team
  • sports: dance team, football team
  • is essentially the school sweetheart and everyone knows him as the guy who’d give you the shirt off his back if you asked
  • quite literally,,,,jisung played a joke once and asked daniel if he could borrow his shirt because his next period class was SUPER cold and daniel,,,,,,,,,,literally took off his shirt
  • rumor has it some chick fainted from the sight of his bare shoulders but no one knows if this was confirmed or not (seongwoo claims it totally is true)
  • but like he really does his best to try and help others out,,,especially freshman or younger students in the course who seem to be struggling with adjusting to like college life
  • he’s like the reliable big brother who is smiley and soft and will teach you silly dance moves on the quad
  • but is also super serious about helping people and isn’t scared of anything, from jumping into a fire to save someone in need of medical assistance to carrying people who’ve broken legs,,,,,,,
  • also let’s take a moment to imagine daniel in the paramedic like get up like the uniform,,,,thank u 
  • everyone thinks its super adorable that daniel’s first rescue story was saving his cat who got stuck in a tree
  • like how TYPICAL and CORNY but also,,,,,,he’s an angel who walks the earth amiright
  • seongwoo is always like “my bestfriend is going to be the next iron man~ captian,,,,where did you study again my dude??? canada?? captain CANADA” 
  • and daniel is like embarrassed but also,,,,,he loves his friends and is happy they support him but seriously captain canada thats worse than when jisung got the football team to refer to him as quarterback cat-lover
  • you’re actually one of the TAs for one of the tests in the paramedic course and there’s a requirement of paramedics being able to carry at least 125 pounds by themselves and you’re supposed to be checking off who can pick up the human dummy and who cant
  • and so you’re going down the list and ur like “next,,,,kang daniel?”
  • and you don’t look up when he steps over you just motion with your hand toward the dummy and you’re like “pick him up and walk three laps around the room”
  • and when you look up you almost drop your clipboard because ,,,, this handsome boy smiles and is like sure!! and uve never seen someone so happy to drag around a plastic human before
  • but there he is,,,,hosting the dummy up like it weighs n o t h i n g
  • and he turns to u and is like “can i try carrying two?” and ur like ,,,,uh,,,,,s,,,sure???
  • and once again he baffles you,,,picking up the other dummy and going on his merry way
  • and in what seems like the shortest period of time than everyone else you tested he does his three circles and stops in front of you
  • carefully setting the dummy’s down and wiping at his forehead,,,,that pretty grin on his face
  • and he’s like “all good??”
  • and ur like,,,,y,,,yes,,,,um,,,,,,,,yes you’re good
  • with a bow he says thanks and leaves the room and you’re like what,,,,,,who,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and you look down at his name again and you’re like “kang daniel,,,,,,,are you superhuman/!??!?!”
  • for the next week you can’t get him off your mind,,,and you’re sure it’s because he’s not only strong and cute but because you’ve been a TA for the program for this whole semester and no one has ever just looked that happy to do the tests
  • and one afternoon you’re eating lunch with a friend in the campus cafe when you spot daniel,,,,at a table with his health books stacked up near his tray (which is also stacked with food)
  • ad at some point ur friend is like heY,,, hEY stop staring you’re going to DROOL
  • and ur like !!!!!! WOOPS but they also nudge and are like “kang daniel huh? he’s cuuuuute~ go talk to him!!!” and ur like HA,,,I ,,,,,,,,wasn’tlookingathimiwaslookingathis,,,,,sandwich
  • and ur friend rolls their eyes but when u look back daniel???? is staring back at you
  • and when you make eye contact he perks up and waves and ur like ?????????? looking around and then pointing at urself and he nods and waves u over
  • and u get up and ur friend lets out a whistle as you go to sit beside him and ur like ,,,,hey,,,, and he smiles again and the way his cheeks go up and his teeth show is SO DAMN CUTE
  • and he’s like “not to sound full of myself but i noticed you were looking at me for a while, whats up?”
  • and you,,,,,,almost dIE of embarrassment on the spot because oh frick he saw you
  • but you’re also like o,,,oh i ,,,i was just,,,,,um,,,,,,ur the guy who carried two dummies at the test a week ago??? and i was like oH is that you or not you you kno-
  • but daniel just chuckles and closes his book 
  • and he’s like “yep that was me,,,,,but i dont think thats why you were looking.”
  • and you feel ur mouth go dry and you’re like i,,,, um– but daniel just points to your friend with his pen and is like “do you think they’ll be ok with me stealing you away for a little date to the movie tonight?”
  • and ur like!!!!!!!!! ,,,, o,,,oh and u look at ur friend who just shooting hearts and thumbs up at u
  • and daniel is like lol they remind me of jisung but ur also like ,,,, i,,,i think ,,, they’ll be ok with that
  • and daniel winks,,,handing you the pen and rolling up his sleeve
  • and he’s like “here, write your number down and ill call u to set up a time”
  • and u cant believe it as you’re scribbling down ur number,,,,,but it’s true he calls u around 7 and u guys go see a movie and it’s adorable and daniel is a gentleman through and through paying for everything,,,,,telling you he likes the way you look all serious during the dramatic scenes,,,,holding your hand when he takes you back to your dorm
  • even a light kiss on your forehead,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it’s a dream come true
  • dating college!daniel: he is really good in all his classes but he tends to be LATE so he’s always rushing in the morning but he never fails to send you a ‘good morning, i love you’ text, doesnt really like coffee so u get into the habit of buying him smoothies and he thinks its cute how u remember this about him also those smoothies are really good for his vegetable intake u are so thoughtful, you and daniel adopt the newest paramedic trainee woojin, daniel is suchhhhh a tease he always sneaks up behind you when ur studying to wrap u up in his arms and kiss on your neck, jisung always makes faces when u guys pda but tbh he loVES seeing daniel so happy with you, seongwoo is like “im his original soulmate” but he’s just joking hehe, daniel sends u pics of cats he sees on the street, you guys get matching rings like a month into it because kang daniel goes HARD for love, favorite dates range from laser tag to night fireworks on the beach, thinks its cute when you wear his flannels to class or during finals because u guys are both studying and u cant see him so often but they remind you of him, daniel takes you with him to get his first tattoo and u hold his hand the whole time, he’s kinda bad at realizing he isnt invincible so sometimes ull find scrapes on him and have to bandage him up, did anyone say morning after laughter under the sheets: yeah i did for KANG DANIEL who loves skinship and YOU 
You're my best friend

I just got my hair cut and I’m feeling overly emotional, and I don’t know how these two things relate, but here have some sterek.

They have been together for a while now. They just got their first apartment together, and saying that both of them were high on love (for each other) and hope (for a new happy life) would be quite the understatement.

There had been a time when either of them had thought that they could never have the other, that after Derek left they would never find each other again, and they had never even thought possible that one day they could have a place, a home together. And yet, here they were.

They just finished mounting their new bed, and Stiles falls on the bare mattress with a satisfied “oof” Derek following shortly after him.

And it’s then that somehow it hits Stiles. It hits him so hard and so suddenly that he’s so overwhelmed with it that his eyes burn and he wants to yell it at the top of his lungs, but at the same time the emotion is so strong that clogs up his throat, and he can barely manage to speak.

So, he just makes a small noise (all he can muster right now) and rolls over to Derek’s side, throwing one arm over Derek’s body and burying his face into Derek’s neck.

Derek huffs out a surprised laugh, but promptly starts rubbing his back soothingly.

“Derek,” Stiles mumbles, when he finds his voice again.

Derek hums questioningly and Stiles hugs him close, a little bit tighter, before he gets out of his hiding spot and looks up at his boyfriend.

“You’re my best friend.” He says, all intense, earnest and sincere eyes.

Because it’s true. Yes, Scott is the friend he knew longer, they had their high and lows and highs again, and he’s like a brother, but that’s just it, Scott is his brother.

Derek is his best friend.

Derek is the person that he thinks about first when he’s thought of a stupid joke and wants to share it with someone. Derek is the one he looks for when he wants to tell someone about what his favourite character is going through, even if it’s a show or a book that Derek hasn’t watched yet. Derek is the name on his lips when he wants to tell or show someone how he managed to do something, even if it’s just as ordinary and banal as Stiles managing to doodle a real-looking wolf shadow, he knows that even if his first reaction would be to roll his eyes, he’d do so smiling in that warm way that always tell Stiles so many things. Like how loved he is, and how Derek is proud of him, even for the little things. And Derek is the one that he glances up to look at before he even knows why.

And that’s why he hates fighting with him so much, because he’s fighting with his boyfriend and best friend. And really, there’s no one in his life that can match with everything that Derek means to him. Derek is his special person, everyone has their special person, don’t they?

And Derek is Stiles’ person.

And yes, Derek is his boyfriend, and they had already said their ‘I love you’s to each other a long time ago, but Derek is also, and maybe most importantly, Stiles’ best friend too, and Stiles really needs him to know that.

“You’re my best friend,” he repeats, because he needs him to understand.

And of course, because Derek is his everything plus his best friend, smiles small and understanding, before he leans down to kiss him on the corner of his mouth, feather-light and all softness, and whispers “you’re my best friend, too.”

And Stiles knows that Derek understands, because he can see in his eyes that Stiles is his person too.

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anonymous asked:

Can someone help me understand the Ace Spectrum, please? I'm trying to make sense of... things and I'm so confused I don't know what to do.

Of course!

So, the place where I think most of us get confused on our ace identity journey is with separating out types of attraction, and also separating out attraction from sex drive. So let’s talk about those two things:

There are many kinds of attraction, but we’re going to talk about these: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, and sensual. The idea of the split attraction model is that you don’t have to be attracted to someone in more than one of the ways above at the same time to still experience real and powerful attraction of a specific kind. For most allosexual (non-ace spectrum) folks, they tend to experience all four modes of attraction at the same time, and in particular sexual, aesthetic, and sensual attraction are so deeply tied together that they may not realize they’re actually three separate things. In ace folks, those modes of attraction are often not experienced at the same time, and one of them (sexual attraction) may not ever be experienced at all.

Romantic attraction is, well, someone you’re romantically attracted to. You want to spend your time with them, you think about them when they’re gone, they inspire poetry in you, etc etc.

Sexual attraction is basically when you see a person and think, Wow, I’d hit that. This is the kind of attraction people on the ace spectrum either don’t experience at all or don’t experience as often/broadly as allosexual folks, so we’ll come back to this one in a bit.

Aesthetic attraction is when something hits you just right in the beauty department and you want to look at it for a while. In my own personal experience with both myself and my ace friends, this type of attraction is often (but by all means not always or in everyone) hyper-powered in aces. I’m ace, and lemme tell you, there are people I could stare at forever. But I have never once in my entire life looked at one of those people and thought Wow I’d climb them like a tree. Just never happened, probably never will, because I don’t actually experience sexual attraction.

This particular kind of attraction often trips up people who are struggling to understand asexuality, to which I’d suggest this amazing example I’ve seen floating round the interwebs: You ever go out hiking, and you come to the top of a mountain and you see this breathtaking view of other mountains and valleys stretched out for miles before you, and it’s so incredibly beautiful that you just sit right down and stare at it for a while, and maybe you decide to take an early lunch so you can enjoy the view some more because it’s that lovely. But do you at any point want to bang the mountains? No, you do not. (I mean, if you do, we’re not judging, but let’s assume for most folks the answer is no :-p) And that is the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction.

Sensual attraction is when you see a person and want to touch or hug or cuddle them in a non-sexual way. Some aces don’t experience this at all. Others experience it quite a lot. Still others experience it somewhere in the middle. For some aces it’s tied exclusively to romantic attraction. For others it’s tied to affection in general (familial, platonic, romantic, etc.). For others, it’s tied to aesthetic attraction. There are all kinds of reasons you might experience sensual attraction, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t have to be tied to sexual attraction in any way.

So, that’s the split attraction model. To make a personal example, I experience aesthetic attraction roughly every 0.4 seconds, romantic and sensual attraction very rarely (and not always together), and sexual attraction literally never (I’m all the way on the far end of the ace spectrum). And my aesthetic attractions don’t necessarily line up with my romantic or sensual attractions, and vice versa. But aces are many and varied and beautiful, and everyone’s going to experience these attractions differently.

The other thing I wanted to talk about is how sexual attraction =/= sex drive. Folks struggling to identify on the ace spectrum often think they’re not “allowed” to be ace because they masturbate, or they watch porn, or they’re experiencing sexual attraction to their current partner. But here’s the thing: all of those experiences are 100% valid and do not make you any less ace.

First, remember that asexuality, like all sexualities, is a spectrum. So you may be all the way on one end of the spectrum like me (never experiences sexual attraction under any circumstance), or you may be demisexual (only experiences sexual attraction with someone to whom you’ve formed a deep emotional relationship) gray ace (only experiences sexual attraction rarely, for reasons that may or may not involve emotional connection). Both of those orientations are valid asexual identities that involve sexual attraction, and experiencing sexual attraction in those ways does not invalidate your identity on the ace spectrum.

Second, it’s important to remember that sex drive doesn’t actually have to be tied in any way to sexual attraction. Think about the human body like a machine. Just because you’re ace doesn’t mean the pipes don’t still work, you know? You can still experience arousal, you can still enjoy orgasm, you can still enjoy porn, you can even still enjoy sex with other people. None of those things means you experience sexual attraction to the person(s) you’re watching or with. Many aces have extremely active sex drives. Many aces have robust solo sex lives. Many aces read or watch porn to get off (check out autochorissexual; it’s an identity many aces feel at home with, including me). And there are endless valid reasons why an ace person might have sex with someone (you want the emotional intimacy, you’re horny, it makes your partner happy and you don’t mind it at all, you’re wildly in love and want to express it physically, you’re sensually attracted and want the physical closeness, you want to get/get someone pregnant, it just plain feels good, etc. etc. etc.), not one of which need involve sexual attraction to the person you’re sleeping with. Of course, if you’re gray ace or demisexual, you may very well experience a deep sexual attraction to the person you’re with. The point is, aces can and do have sex drives, masturbate, watch porn, and have sex with other people. Although I feel it’s also important to point out here that it’s perfectly okay not to do any of these things; some aces are sex repulsed and/or touch-averse and that is 100% valid too.

Okay so this answer is getting crazy long now, and I feel like I’ve covered the general bases, so I’m going to wrap up. But if you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! Half the staff here is ace and we’re always happy to talk about it, either in broad strokes or via our own personal experiences.

So earlier today I got rather pissed off when some rude anon who has probably never made a GIF in their lives decided to attack my friend (and one of the best GIFmakers I know) for no reason telling them not to talk about GIFmaking like it’s a big deal since it’s just taking clips from existing video. I was hoping to forget about this, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how many non-GIFmakers really do think that’s all GIFmaking is (including myself before I started making GIFs to some extent). Luckily, most people aren’t that rude about it and know not to insult content creators over a topic they actually don’t know much about…but I still feel the need to discuss some of the often lengthy effort that goes into making medium to high quality GIFs.

As a disclaimer, I’m NOT trying to be elitist and I honestly don’t consider myself one of the top tier GIFmakers. I also don’t think that GIFmakers HAVE to put in a lot of effort to alter GIFs from the original video frames if they don’t want to. It’s just a hobby where we try to capture/highlight cool moments using a severely limited and dying file format lol…so it’s really up to the individual how much they wanna put into it. However, the truth of the matter is that many GIF and graphics makers that contribute greatly to numerous fandoms DO put in a significant amount of effort to make their GIFs look different from and better than the original video.

EXAMPLES OF MY GIFS BEFORE / AFTER FILTERS & COLORING

Keep reading

How My Heart Reads Divide...

Decided to put all of my Ed Sheeran Divide feels/vibes/reviews in one post:

1)  Eraser is a song that left me openmouthed and a little emotionally confused. The lyrical sharpness was like glass and I felt like I kind of understood why Ed took a year off. It is white noise on edge anger simmering below the surface of a whiskey glass or behind a thin curtain of some other deadly vice that helps to numb the price of fame. It’s saying I’m fine but really rocking backwards and forwards within yourself on the floor in a mess of self doubt and regret and just…It’s raw honesty and pride and pretty lies that are more palatable than the harsh truths he delivers within the guise of a steely F64 stream of consciousness ‘what the hell am I doing’It’s heads in hands and excess and the reality of dreams that were born from records and roadtrips and wondering how on earth you ended up here. It’s a little jaded but it’s also a red flag, the moments in life when your brain is steadily inching towards danger but is perhaps able to prevent itself from falling at the last second. It’s realising that perfection is not attainable and that everyone has scars but it’s also about learning to dance with the skeletons in your closet and beating a path for yourself no matter what.

2) Castle On The Hill  sounds like its roots were tended by U2. It’s watching the sun rise from rooftops and rolling down hills. It’s playfights between couples where you laugh so hard you cry. It’s nostalgia and records and country lanes and cars and dancing in the rain. It’s holding hands and walking through villages where you know everyone by name.  It’s cups of tea, nicknames and muddy English football matches. It’s board games and Sunday roasts and long kisses, leaning against brick walls. It’s radiant smiles and having a song and banter between friends. It’s falling in love hard and wholly where everything is like a film reel from a 50′s movie. It’s feeling infinite and having mates and loves who are forever. 

3) Dive - I’m getting really big Stevie Wonder vibes. It’s bluesy with the hooked teeth of a guitar straight into your heart. It’s ragged desperate heartbreak and knowing you feel the stirrings of a person entering your inner world but being scared to jump over the cliff with them. It’s looking into their eyes after the beginnings of something that makes your heart race and saying “dammit I need to know you’re not going to break my heart.”

4) Shape Of You is all first dates and burning liquor and laughs in a crowded bar. It’s stumbling home through wet streets and slow dancing in the doorway. It’s hands in hair and running from a restaurant because you couldn’t pay. It’s watching the breaths of a lover in the dawn. It’s counting the freckles that adorn their stomach and back. It’s lingerie and home cooked meals and Netflix marathons and lazy Sundays when you realise you’ve fallen a little too far so all that you can do is keep falling hard.

5) Perfect is first dances and falling hard. It’s buying a ring because you look over one day and you think “If you walked away, my heart wouldn’t survive. I want to love you for every moment that I’m still alive (I’m writing this through a haze of emotion because this sums up every hope and dream I’ve ever had of the person who’ll love me despite all my hard stuff - wheelchair/anxiety/depression) This song is… true love. I’m going to go ahead and say that I think it’s true that that it’s better than Thinking Out Loud…)

6) Galway Girl is Irish af. I like to think of it as a flashback to the beginning of the Perfect ^^^ love story. It’s catchy and makes me want to do a jig. It reminds me of my parents and my aunties and cousins and uncles and sisters. It’s a clan song. It’s a chance meeting and having pieces fall into place from the very first day. 

7) Happier - AARGH. This is every feeling ever when the person you love even if only from afar seems happier with someone that isn’t you and you know you could do a better job but they might never look your way… I’ll be here, waiting always. 

8) New Man is a bit of 90′s R & B vibes. It’s a hip hop infused ode for what happens when the person who was a part of your heart comes running to you when a new relationship starts. It’s watching them change in front of your eyes for other guys (or girls) and it’s realising you don’t know who a person is anymore. It’s waves of history breaking upon a foreign shore. It’s losing maps to people you thought you knew like the back of your hand… It’s realising that they still want you in a way but it’s too late. 

9) Hearts Don’t Break Around Here is “Yes I’m in love and I want to shout from the rooftops.” It’s the little moments of a couple’s relationship. It’s realising that you’ll look to every day of growing old and the love story you get to live. All I can say is Jesus Christ Cherry, he loves you and it makes me so happy ❤️

10) What Do I Know is Ed’s way of saying Shit maybe they were right… that I saved 2017. He is bringing us all together, a crowd of colours and lives and lover types. No matter who you are, there’s a story on this album for you… It’s a carelessly casual man looking in, saying Fuck you, your walls will never keep us out. We’ll be screaming the words to this music, united and proud. 

11)  How Would You Feel is all butterflies and pure intoxicating love. It’s a girl wearing her boyfriend’s shirt and regular good morning texts. The soft secretive kisses in a car and casually intimate caresses. It’s meeting the family for the first time and imagining one of your own. It’s looking at a person off guard, saying “I love you” and feeling like that person’s your home.

12) Supermarket Flowers is about Ed’s maternal grandmother and it’s making me think of Nana who joined the angels three years ago and… 😭 I miss you so much. I hope you’d be proud of us x.

13) Barcelona is  dancing it out with people who share your heart. It’s Spanish carnival Latin vibes. It makes me think of  girls in deep red skirts and men with roses between their teeth. It’s music in your blood and floating away when you dance. It’s the magic moments of a party where you feel like moments could last forever. Who wants to meet me in Barcelona 😜

14) Bibia Be Ye Ye gives me immediate carnival vibes. It’s infused with the melodies of Africa so I can only assume this was his Ghana project. It’s nights of madness and vibrant colours and familiar strangers who dance on tables and offer you liquor. It’s the feeling I get every time I go to a concert or to a new country, the ideas of exploration and self discovery and stories that will make you ache with laughter years later as you look back on the Polaroids. 

15) Nancy Mulligan with its fiddles and it’s heart of true Irish blood makes me feel like I’m sitting at an impromptu gathering of musicians around my granny’s fire back home in Galway. It’s sepia photographs and wild cliffs and grandparents whose eyes shine with the fires of their youth as they tell you this story. It’s emerald hills and words in an ancient tongue. It’s a more modern Romeo & Juliet. It’s knowing that love transcends everything and you can have anything if you just have love.

 16) Save Yourself  has me gasping for air, my heart broken.
This song is all helping others only to have them treat you like you’re less than the dirt on their shoe. It has me thinking of savage wolves who want to tear you down but still expect you to smile. It’s despair and anxiety and depression with the quiet steady voice of strength that somehow by the tiniest of miracles keeps getting back up. It’s knowing you need to save yourself by loving all the broken parts of you but not really being sure how to do it.

OH MY GOD THIS RECORD IS SHEER BRILLIANCE. I hope you love my review (Sorry it’s so long!!!)

Don't worry.

Heyy, I finally had time to write again. I know I have a lot of requests to do but I feel like I have to get my ideas out there right now, I’m sorry. I hope you like this though. Thank you for reading.xxx

She was proud of him.
She really was.
Of course she was, how could she not?
Harry was doing everything he always dreamed of doing and what he did was the most amazing thing ever. He filmed a movie, recorded an entire album and now his face is printed on countless magazines.
She knew he would do good but she could have never prepared for what was happening now. He was jetting between America and London, with a short stop in Paris. He was busy having meetings to figure out his next plans, especially the tour that would take him all over the world. And then there were the interviews…
Those were probably the worst for Y/N right now but not because he had to leave early in the morning to attend them on time, no. It were the questions he’s been asked.
She knew the questions would be different now because he was solo now and doing everything on his own without three boys by his side that caught the attention of the interviewer as well. But she never thought that the main topic of every interview would be his love life.
He talked about his first girlfriend ever, then Taylor Swift, then Kendall Jenner and then he wrote a song about a girl he met one goddamn time and apparently her name was Townes.
She was okay with all that before, she knew he’s been with other women before her but somehow she couldn’t help but be upset.
Harry and her were dating for a year now. A year which she thought was a happy, joyful and fun year in which they learned to love and cherish each other.
But apparently she didn’t matter to him all that much.
He didn’t talk about her even once. Not when the question came up how he’s doing privately. Not when he’s been asked who supported him while working so hard. Not when he’s been asked what the inspiration for his songs was.
And that was probably the worst. He wrote nothing about her, not a single line. There was a song about how empty and heartbroken he felt when Taylor and him broke up, there was a song about how good that stranger felt and there was a song about whoever was his only angel, it wasn’t Y/N for sure.
And even though she knew it was silly to be upset about something like that she couldn’t help it. The words he once said to her when she asked how he wrote songs kept replaying in her head.

“S'different every time. But I always write about people I love or times which been very important to me.

And every time she remembered his words she felt a pang to her heart.
He told her he loved her so many times and she knew he did, she was 100 % sure he did. And she also wasn’t worried about him cheating or whatever, she knew she was the only one for Harry. She was just maybe a tad bit jealous and sad. It was his decision what he wanted to weite about, of course, and he wasn’t obligated to write about her just because she’s his girlfriend but… it would have been nice.


Harry just got home and even though she missed him and just wanted to jump into his arms when she saw him looking all soft in that plain white shirt that was see through from the hundred times it’s been washed, she resisted. She got the last little push she needed earlier when she read comments online and everyone was talking about who and what the lyrics to his songs were about. No one believed it was about her.
“Hello, angel.” he greeted her and kissed first her forehead and then her cheek softly.
She responded with a humorless laugh and turned her face away from him to look at the ground. Angel. Ironic.
“You okay?” Harry asked her and lifted her chin to make her look at him.
“Great. Absolutely perfect.” she smiled so fake at him that anyone from afar could have seen that she was not in a good mood.
“Love, what’s going on? I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me.” he sighed impatiently.
“You can’t fix it anyway, it’s too late now.” she spat.
Harry took a step back from her when the coldness of her voice hit him. His eyes widened with shock and his mouth opened slightly.
“Did I do something?”
“Oh, no.” she waved him off.
“Then wha-”
“And that’s exactly the problem.” she interrupted him.
“What?” he asked confused.
His eyes had a bewildered look to them, flicking over her face and never knowing where to look.
“Did I forget something? It’s not your birthday and it’s also not our anniversary.”
“You forgot me.”
“What? Love, I have no idea what’s going on right now.” he almost cried out.
“Am I important to you?” she asked.
“Of course you are. You’re the most important person on this whole earth to me, baby.”
“Then why don’t you acknowledge me?”
“What? I do acknowledge you.”
“Yeah? When?”
“All the time.”
“No you don’t. When did you acknowledge me during your interview with the Rolling Stone Magazine? Most certainly not when you told them that you remember what your first girlfriend smelled like and how much you loved her. And also not when you told them how the main inspiration behind your album was Kendall Jenner. Oh, and your songs? I don’t think I broke your heart and your just a ghost now and I also don’t think my name is Townes!”
Harry’s eyes widened with shock by every word she spoke.
“Y-You’re jealous?” he asked, his voice shaky and filled with panic.
“I’m not jealous! I’m hurt!”
Harry squeezed his eyes shut when realization hit him. He didn’t realize what he had done before. He wasn’t forgetting her in any of this, he thought about her every second of every day and it was never his intention to hurt her.
“I never meant to hurt you.” he whispered and tried to reach out to grab her hand but she ripped it away from him immediately.
“Well, you did. You made me question everything, Harry. I even wondered if you feel the same way about me that I do about you.”
“Of course I do! You know that I love you. I love you more than you could ever imagine.”
“Doesn’t feel like it right now, if I’m being honest.” The pain that her words caused almost made him cry. He never ever wanted to make her doubt the love he had for her.
The truth was he didn’t know why he did it. He made it his mission from day one to keep her away from the media as much as he could. He wanted her to feel safe and comfortable around him and not worry about the options of others or what’s being said about her. He assumed he did a very good job until now and he never thought it would get to be an issue.
He wanted to keep their relationship private. Obviously, everyone knew they were together but he wanted to keep the rest away from the public eye. What they had was between the two of them and no one else.
“Love, you know how I am when it comes to you. I want to protect you from all the stuff that could happen. Don’t want anyone to talk badly about you.”
“You know what’s probably being said about me right now? That you don’t care about me, that I don’t matter.”
“But you do! I care about you so much, that’s why I try to keep you away from all that shit!”
“I get that you want to protect me but do you know how much it hurts to hear you talking about all your ex-girlfriends and how much they mean to you while you don’t talk about your current girlfriend of one year even once?”
“Love.” he sighed and grabbed her hand with a tight grip so she wouldn’t be able to remove it.
“They don’t mean anything to me anymore. Not since the second I laid my eyes on you. I’ll admit that I wrote songs about them because somehow that gives me the closure I need. And yes I’ve talked about them in interviews because I couldn’t escape, if I hadn’t said anything it would have been worse.”
Her shoulders slumped then, her eyes diverting to the floor. He was right. Of course he was. She knew from the beginning on that it was silly to be upset about all that but she couldn’t help it. She always had trouble when his past relationships were brought up. All the girls he dated were gorgeous and amazing and she couldn’t help but get insecure when she compared herself to them.
“I’m sorry.” she whispered so lowly he almost didn’t catch it.
He squeezed her hand to make her look at him and when she did he cupped her cheek gently.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, alright? I should be the one apologizing, I made you doubt our relationship.”
She shook her head before she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burring her face in his neck. His arms went around her shoulders, clasping her sides with his hands.
“I love you, darling. Never want you to forget that.”
“I never forgot that. Just wondered for a little.”
“Don’t want you to wonder either. My love for you should be a constant in your life.”
She pulled back a little so she could look up at him.
“And it is. I was just being stupid.”
“Feeling hurt is never stupid. I was being a proper dick for not acknowledging you.”
“You weren’t. I know why you didn’t and I appreciate it.”
“Should have told them how perfect my girl is though.”
She smiled up at him and Harry swore he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. He leaned down to press a soft kiss against her forehead, lingering his lips there for a moment.
“You know what?”
“Hmm?” she hummed.
“Should show you how much I love you so you don’t question it ever again.” he grinned cheekily.
She giggled softly and shook her head at how fast he could go from serious to cheeky.
“Horny, hm?”
“No, just want to love on you.”
He stroked a strand of hair that’s fallen into her face behind her ear, cupping her cheek and capturing her lips in a deep kiss.
He lifted one of her legs and made her wrap it around his hips. She wrapped her other leg around his body on her own, Harry supporting her with his hands on the backs of her thighs.
He carried her to their bedroom, stopping every once in a while to press her against a wall and kiss her breath away.
Once they reached their bed, he laid her down gently, hovering over her.

When she was naked he made it his mission to kiss every inch of her body, mumbling ‘I love you’ every so often.
Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t get emotional. Sex was always connected with emotion between Harry and her and it definitely wasn’t the first time her eyes welled up with tears and a few dribbled down the sides of her face and onto the pillow. Just like every time Harry got a bit worried, asking if he did something wrong but she silenced his words with her lips against his.
The moment Harry connected them Y/N was sure she never felt so close to him. She missed exactly this and was worried about exactly this, loosing the closeness between them. Or loosing him to somebody else.
Their bodies moved against each other the way they always had, nothing changed. And Y/N knew he never shared such a moment with any of his exes, he never shared himself like that with anyone but her.
When they both got close Y/N cupped Harry’s cheeks in her hands so she would be able to watch him come undone. And when he did it was exactly what she expected, he thrusted inside of her as deeply as possible and stilled, his mouth opening and his eyes rolling back. Her own orgasm hit her when she felt the first spurt of his release coating her walls, her whole body shuddering underneath him and a strangled moan forcing itself out out of her mouth. She fought against her eyes wanting to close, the need to watch him bigger.
Harry collapsed onto her when he finished completely, careful not to hurt her. She wrapped her arms around his back and made sure he didn’t move, she didn’t want to break the connection yet. She pressed countless kisses against his shoulder and neck, covering every bit of his skin with her lips.
“Mmh, love. As much as I love lying on top of you, I don’t want you to be sore tomorrow.” he said, his voice muffled by her shoulder.
She sighed and let go of him, he was right. It happened before that she got sore because he stayed inside of her too long. When he slipped out she felt his release pour out of her and as always Harry watched amazed. He reached over to the bedside table for a tissue to clean her up, careful not to apply to much pressure onto her sensitive center.
Afterwards he laid down beside her, pulling her body close immediately. She placed her head on his chest, her face nuzzling into his skin to inhale his scent. Harry intertwined his fingers with hers, kissing her knuckles softly before dropping their joined hands onto his chest.
They laid in silence for a few minutes, no awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings settling in their stomachs. But Y/N could feel that his mind was elsewhere.
“Stop thinking so loud.” she snapped him out of his thoughts.
“Sorry, darling.” he chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“M'thinking about you, though.”
“Are you?” she asked quietly and looked up at him.
“Yeah.”
“And what about me?”
“I…” he started but stopped, a frown spreading over his face.
“Hey.” she whispered and reached up to touch his face with the hand that wasn’t holding his.
“It’s just… I tried to write songs about you. I sat in the studio for hours, trying to find some words that somehow could describe the way I feel about you but… Nothing I came up with seemed to do you justice. There are no words for describing how wonderful you are or how much I love you.”
Tears welled up in her eyes at his words, she never thought about it in that way.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to write songs about me, you know. Just because I’m your girlfriend it doesn’t mean you have to write about me.”
“I know that but you’re so much more than just my girlfriend. You’re my best friend, my family but most importantly the love of my life. And of course I want to write about you but I know that no song could ever describe our story.”
Her heart melted at his words, a few tears dribbling down her cheeks and hitting his chest.
“I love you. God, I love you so much.” she whimpered and kissed his lips over and over and over again.
Harry stroked her wild hair from her face and kept her close.
“Can you promise me to never ever question my feelings for you again? Breaks my heart when you do.”
“I’ll try.” she giggled.
Harry gave her a playfully stern look, scolding her gently.
“I promise. Think you’ve done a good job at proofing your feelings as well.” she smirked.
“Oh, have I?”
“Oh, yes. But maybe, just to make sure, you could do it again.”
“Just to make sure, hm?” he teased her.
“Just to make sure.”

(long post, sorry)

In spite of everything I love Harley Quinn but, damn, writers treat her so badly. I swear, the temptation to make her actually stupid must be terrible because it’s so often implied, or explicitly stated, that she slept her way through school. First of all, it does not work like that.  Second, she’s not a therapist or a psychologist, she’s a psychiatrist, she’s a fricking MD and a damn young one too. Managing pre-med and collegiate gymnastics that she relied on to keep her scholarship? Harley is fucked up, but she’s not the dumb blonde she plays. (also stop making her stacked, she’s a gymnast. she is 4’11” of pure muscle and is not top heavy)

If you want a good Harley backstory it’s simple. She’s ADHD but medicated and slightly robotic because of it. I want to take special care not to demonize meds but, rather, people’s disapproval of neurodivergence and a lack of focus on what is best for a patient rather than what is most convenient for others. So, maybe, around ten years old Harley is a hyperactive space cadet who’s brilliant at tests but sloppy at coursework, who would be a gymnastics prodigy if she could actually focus on technique and put in practice time instead of fooling around. Then the meds come and it’s actually really cool because she can do the things she needs to do instead of just wanting to do them, doing something else entirely, and getting in trouble. People are proud of her, she’s proud of herself. But now there are expectations. Family and teachers and coaches overschedule her, find worth only in her success and don’t care about her mental health at all as long as she’s performing and castigate her when she does fail. Fuck if you don’t internalize that. But she doesn’t look unhealthy and she’s doing amazing. She actually has to choose between the Olympic trials and continuing her grad studies. She probably has some issues with self-harm but it either doesn’t look like self-harm or is well covered up. 

When Arkham accepts her, fresh from her residency, it’s not a mistake. The woman is amazing. All they can see is a mountain of achievements rather than the seething ball of nerves, self-loathing, and imposter syndrome boiling just under the surface. That’s when Joker comes in. He’s got the Hannibal Lecter shtick down. Where everyone else sees an intelligent driven young woman he sees a frightened overwhelmed girl who is working her hardest to convince the world she’s anyone other than herself. Sending her into a nervous breakdown would be too easy so he doesn’t even bother. Instead he’s open with her, almost friendly. The other doctors are amazed, Harley is amazed, she’s not done anything particularly revolutionary but, for the first time in forever, it looks like the clown prince of crime is showing progress. He unravels her and it’s a challenge, she flinches back and gets very serious when he comes too close to the real Harley under the professional. Still, soon she’s questioning everything. She doesn’t even really like her co-workers. She hasn’t had a real friend in years. She’s forgotten how to have fun. Did she ever want this to be her life or did she just do it for other people? It starts so slowly that it looks, at first, like she’s getting better at self-care. Maybe something totally silly one weekend, a trampoline park where she can enjoy the way her toned body moves without stressing out over landings, a face painting booth at a street fair, some garishly colored downright tacky decoration that clashes with her sensible apartment. Suddenly she realizes how much she hates knowing the difference between cream and ecru. The beigeness of her life is repulsive. She hates the person she’s pretending to be even more that she hates herself which is really saying something.

After her weekend of freedom she would have called in sick if it wasn’t so suddenly important to see him. The relief she feels at talking to one of Gotham’s most infamous supercriminals is disturbing but it is relief and she’s been swallowing a slow-motion panic attack for hours. She admits, though she shouldn’t, that she took his advice about doing something fun and he teases her, what would straight-laced Doctor Quinzel do for fun? Did she realphabetize her sock drawer or buy a new clipboard? It’s not important to impress him, it’s really not. He’s dangerous, cruel, and he looks so proud when she admits that she bought a lamp shaped like a lawn flamingo. The only mistake, he says, is that she should have stolen it. She hopes the wicked thrill it gives her doesn’t show on her face. It does. She almost even laughs. He likes it when he can make her laugh and she likes it when he likes things.

It’s wrong and unprofessional, the relationship she develops, and she knows it but her whole life she’s been so high strung. Nothing she’s done has been for her, she’s not sure she knows how to really do selfish things anymore, but he knows the selfish things she needs to do. It feels good when she follows his advice even when it’s small things like the rainbow striped socks she wears concealed under her very bland slacks and sensible shoes. She’s so happy, almost giddy, and he loves her happiness, he loves her, he loves the real her that she’s had to beat down and hide for so long, the her that even she isn’t able to love. She is able to love him, though, and since he loves her she’s able to love herself for him, to protect and nurture something so important to him.

When the choice comes between her old self, the tedious endless labor of making the world proud, and Him, the spectacular man that brought color into her life, it’s not even a question. She kills Doctor Harleen Quinzel, she throws away the version of her that let herself burn just for medals and hollow accolades. She embraces Harley Quinn and it’s so much a part of her nature she can’t even see that she’s still living her life for someone else’s approval, except this time that person is a murderous clown. She hasn’t let her hair down, she’s just put it in pigtails instead of a bun.

50 Things To Remember In Life

Dear Friend,

There are 365 days in a year
And you and I both know from many unfortunate personal experiences,
That not all of those days will be good.
For some, the majority of those days will be a breeze
For others, each day will be a trial.
The world is a difficult place.
The world is an interesting place.
I am here to give you a few reminders
To keep up with this trying world we live in.

1. Follow your own heart and dreams. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you what you can or can’t do.

2. If you want something enough, you will find a way to make it happen.

3. You will meet people who hate you, and you will meet people who love you, and you will meet people who you think love you. Don’t be fooled. Some people are just passing by in your story called life. They’re there to teach you something, so always be aware.

4. Always remember that bad things and situations you don’t like will end. It may take minutes, hours, days, or years, but never forget that they will end eventually. You can get through anything.

5. You are your own person, not anyone else’s. Don’t let people take control of you and change your beautiful self.

6. The people in your life who make you giggle and smile in the darkest of times are ones you need to keep with you forever. There is always the potential for hard times, and you’ll need someone to cheer you on.

7. You do not have to live up to any standards or expectations. Family and peers and society are constantly telling us that we have to be a certain way, or else we aren’t good enough. Tune out of that thinking and just be yourself. That’s the best thing you can be.

8. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Being out of the box can bring on so many amazing new opportunities you never even thought existed.

9. A lot is going to happen to you during your lifetime, so let yourself feel anything and everything. Always feel as much as you can. It makes you experience things at a higher level and you can say, “Yes I know this feeling. I’ve been here before.”

10. A good cry cleanses the heart and mind and soul.

11. Appreciate the small things. They can teach you to love and be at peace with everything around you.

12. It’s okay to take a break from everyday duties once in a while.

13. Travel whenever possible, it opens the mind. Go on adventures in new places and learn about the world. You will come back a new person.

14. Get up the courage to talk to strangers. That’s how you meet people. Who knows, the next person you meet could end up being your new best friend.

15. Stand in the rain and breathe in the wide open air and absorb everything you can about the earth.

16. Long walks are something that can clear the mind and resolve many issues.

17. It’s okay to lay in bed with a book all day.

18. Look out the window and watch the snow silently fall. It’s one of the most peaceful and relaxing things you can do.

19. Remember that everyone is living their very own life with their own problems, so always be kind and respect others.

20. Keep and open mind and listen to people’s thoughts. You might discover more than you think.

21. You are not defined by your weight or skin color or career or the number of friends you have or your grades in school or your decisions. You are so much more than that.

22. Everyone makes mistakes in life, so don’t judge a person based on their decisions.

23. Keep your own limits and morals. Don’t give them up for anyone.

24. Live a little. Be spontaneous and experience all that you possibly can.

25. Aim to live a life that you will be proud of and content with when you’re 90 years old.

26. Things in life will tear you down, but time heals everything.

27. Rumors don’t help anyone. Don’t start or spread them.

28. Your soulmate is out there in the world searching for you too. Don’t lose hope. You’ll find each other one day.

29. Treat yourself once in a while.

30. Random acts of kindness can make someone’s day and it can make you feel good too.

31. You’re going to have to work if you want to live a truly happy life. Don’t cheat or make someone else do the work for you. That will only make an unfulfilled and empty life for you in the end.

32. Be proud of everything you do.

33. Self love never hurt anyone.

34. Find things to look forward to. It will keep you excited and more hopeful for the bright future.

35. Leave a piece of you in every place you go and with every person you meet.

36. Always listen to people. Everyone just wants to be heard and understood and feel like they matter to someone.

37. Do what is best for you in the long run, even if it hurts at first.

38. Love with all your heart and soul at every opportunity.

39. Never settle for less. You deserve the best and whatever makes you truly happy.

40. Don’t feel bad if someone doesn’t like you. It’s their loss because they won’t get to experience your magnificent presence.

41. Never fear love. Love can make you grow and blossom and teach you so much. Don’t fear it, but proceed with caution. Broken hearts will heal with time, but they are never fun.

42. Dancing silly to your favorite songs will guarantee some giggles and smiles.

43. Always sing in the shower, and when you’re home alone, sing as loud as you can.

44. Put effort into everything you do. It makes it all worthwhile and you feel better about it in the end. You can reflect and say “Look at this. I’m proud.”

45. Exercise makes you feel good and you’ll feel accomplished too. Try it sometime.

46. You are beautiful exactly how you are. Don’t deny yourself of your own loveliness.

47. You may not be perfect, because no one is, but you’re hella radiant, which is near perfection.

48. To grow as a person and expand your mind and soul, learn at least one new thing everyday.

49. Don’t beat yourself up about things you have no control over.

50. Happiness is not a goal or a point on a map. It is a state of being that everyone deserves.

Now my friend, I hope you can carry these things with you in your heart
Because every time you are down
You can always get back up.
Every time you are afraid
The fear won’t last forever.
This world and the people in it may knock you down
But you need to keep getting back up.
You have to.
Live, live, live.
Live your dream life. Make things happen.
It will be hard and it may seem hopeless and pointless sometimes,
But just remember that things really do get better.
The world is a difficult place.
The world is a beautiful place.
But only if you believe it to be.

Don’t lose hope.
I love you.

Sincerely, Me.

—  s.h. (via evanescentbeings )

beatrice-babe  asked:

I'm working on an assignment about how we could modify the way we teach Shakespeare so students understand it. In combing through JSTOR (our lord and savior) I found two articles both discussing how damned difficult it is to teach Shakespeare. Each is titled 'Teaching Shakespeare'. One is from 1942. The other is from 1893. It is 2017, and we still don't know how the fuck to teach this shit so people get it. Academic struggles all day every day and literally nothing has changed

University was a dream come true for me. I had amazing lecturers and the class had a three-pronged approach:

1. Explain the historical context of the play, how it was originally performed and how it was received

2. View different modern adaptations (at least 2-3, sometimes more, and ideally look at some from other cultures and in other languages) and compare and contrast how they interpret the same text

3. Encourage students to interpret the text in their own way. Wanna make A Midsummer Night’s Dream about two lesbians, Lysander and Hermia, running away from a homophobic society? Go for it. Now explain why you chose to do that and how you would stage it.

We would have lectures that were theory-based, interrupted by the professor playing some clips from different adaptations. Later in the week we would meet in a theatre space and work with the text physically, vocally, and have an open and honest discussion about what we were studying. We got through one play every two weeks over a 12 week period and came out with a solid understanding of each one. Extraordinary stuff.

Now, compare this approach, which is interesting, engaging and relevant to the modern era and our own experiences, to how it’s traditionally taught in high school.

You sit.

In a room.

You read the play.

You’re stuck with it for weeks and weeks.

You have no fucking clue what’s being said or why you should care. 

Your teacher then asks you to write an essay on a topic that will have some ludicrously long title that you barely understand.

You go away hating Shakespeare and viewing it as horrible and boring. 

And you completely miss what the text is about and what it can be about.

The thing that was really powerful at uni, and what we should endeavour to bring to teenage students, was looking at other people’s adaptations. Reading Shakespeare as a 15 year old, or indeed at any age, can be a struggle. It feels like you’re reading gobbledegook. How the hell are you supposed to understand Elizabethan slang? How are you supposed to engage with the story if you keep reaching for a dictionary every 2 seconds? But that’s where skilled actors and directors come into it, because these guys do the work for you. For example, The Globe theatre is a massive draw for tourists around the world. They perform plays in the original language in a way that is hugely accessible and entertaining for all people, no matter their background. They use voice, action and gesture to make sure you understand. It’s an old maxim that Shakespeare is meant to be seen and not heard, and it’s true, so let your students watch the professionals act it out. Let them watch two or three! Maybe more! And once they start to grasp the text, aided by historical context, get them up and get them speaking and performing. And if someone’s shy and doesn’t want to perform? That’s totally fine! They’re now the director, and they can come up with ideas that others will put into practice. 

Get people talking. Start arguments. Shakespeare’s plays will say something different to each different person. What is it about this text that you latch onto? Which adaptation did you like best? How do you think it should come to life? And when you assigns essays and assessments, let them write and argue about what they are passionate about. I fucking hate those essay prompts that box you in and allow no room to put forward your own feelings, which make you talk about the theme of forgiveness or whatever when you think fuck you, this play wasn’t about forgiveness at all, it was about (x).

Even with the little stuff, there’s no point just saying “so the definition of iambic pentameter is…” and moving on, you should be up there with your hand on your heart, making them tap along to their own heartbeats, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, ba-DUM, Two HOUSE-holds BOTH a-LIKE in DIG-ni-TY - great! You feel it, don’t you? You feel those 10 beats in your heart, and now what happens when you recite a line that’s slightly irregular? Sometimes you’ll get a weird line that’s 9, 11 or 12 syllables where everything else is 10, sometimes you’ll get the stressed syllable in a different place than it should be, and you can feel that as you’re reciting - it’s as if your heart suddenly started beating faster or skipped a beat, and you have to listen to it and ask - why did Shakespeare want me to stress that? Why did this character suddenly falter and slip out of rhythm? Same with things like assonance, alliteration, repetition, juxtaposition and all those others words that make students’ eyeballs melt out of their heads. Don’t just make them memorise an arbitrary list of definitions, show them what they can do.

For example: repetition in Much Ado About Nothing. Beatrice and Benedick will often choose a word or an idea and then hit it back and forth like a shuttlecock until one of them drops it. But it’s the repetition of the word heart that is most striking, and the image of Beatrice’s heart in particular. Beatrice has a “merry heart,” she has a “wild heart,” Margaret jokes she should lay Carduus Benedictus to “your heart,” Benedick declares he wants to “live in thy heart.” The word crops up close to forty times throughout the play, associated with love, happiness, sexual ardour - nice things, in other words. In the confession scene we see:

BEATRICE: I was about to protest I loved you.

BENEDICK: And do it, with all thy heart.

BEATRICE: I love you with so much of my heart none is left to protest. 

And then, all of a sudden, just a few lines later, Shakespeare pulls the fucking rug out from under us. Remember all that nice heart imagery? Throw it out the window, and listen to what Beatrice has to say about Claudio, the scumbag who disgraced and almost killed her innocent cousin: I would eat his heart in the marketplace.

HOOOLY SHIT DUDE

Do you see that? One word, one image, one idea and suddenly it’s like the the roof has caved in. Claudio said he loved her cousin, and then he nearly killed her. And Beatrice, with her loving, merry heart, the heart that Benedick wishes to live in, says I would eat his heart. If hurting women is what Claudio intends to do with his love and his heart, then by God she will fucking pull it out of his chest and eat it where everyone can see so they know what should happen to men like him. 

Feel it, listen to it, live it. Those definitions will seem abstract and alien when you read them on the page - who cares if a few words start with the same letter? What does it matter if he repeats a couple of words? But you have to get into the text and really hear and see, viscerally, what these techniques are capable of. They should make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. 

Historical context is another issue I won’t go too far into, but suffice to say that it’s something that deserves far more attention than it gets. Apart from anything else, it’s interesting! People got up to crazy stuff in Shakespeare’s time, we should know about the world the Bard lived in.

I apologise for ranting, but yes. Shakespeare is often taught in an inadequate or inappropriate way, and for the sanity of high school students everywhere we should endeavour to teach teachers how Shakespeare should be taught.