i don't know what the hell you're wearing but it's fine by me

the moving goalposts.
  • trans woman: I'm a woman.
  • transmisogynist: No you're not, women dress femininely whereas men aren't pressured to wear makeup or maintain a feminine appearance.
  • trans woman: Well, I dress femininely, and I am pressured to wear makeup and maintain a feminine appearance as my failure to do so is punished with harassment and violence. So, do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, you're not a woman, women experience misogynistic oppression, like catcalling and gendered wage gap.
  • trans woman: I experience both of those things, people see me as a woman and mistreat me accordingly. So, do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, you're not a woman, woman is a biological class. You're a biological male.
  • trans woman: I'm on HRT, and my hormone levels are within the average range of cisgender women. I've undergone physical changes due to HRT that have made my physical body more similar to the average cis woman. So, do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, women have vaginas.
  • trans woman: I've undergone vaginoplasty. I have a functioning vagina, labia majora, labia minora, and clitoris. This is very personal, but, i can, in fact, orgasm. Do you consider me a woman now?
  • transmisogynist: No, women have XX chromosomes. That's the REAL factor that determines our social role.
  • trans woman: So, are you seriously claiming that everyone goes around treating other people based on their chromosomes, a quality that can only be factually known by a medical test?
  • transmisogynist: Yes!
  • trans woman: But I've never gotten chromosomally tested. I don't ACTUALLY know what my chromosomes are. Have you ever gotten chromosomally tested?
  • transmisogynist: No, but–
  • trans woman: Then your argument is completely flawed. You know with certainty that you present as a woman, are seen as a woman, and are mistreated as a woman, but you believe that those things are totally disconnected? That, instead, your chromosomes are what people are really seeing when they look at you? That's completely preposterous.
  • transmisogynist: Well, what I really mean is, your birth assignment is what really counts, because that's when male socialization is initiated, which determines your entire mindset and outlook on the world, as well as how you treat other people.
  • trans woman: It is true that socialization influences how we view the world. But let me ask you a question, you are female-socialized, right?
  • transmisogynist: Damn right.
  • trans woman: And female socialization includes subservience to men, right?
  • transmisogynist: Yes, very much so. My parents were extremely traditionalist and imposed very strict gender roles on me as a child.
  • trans woman: But right now you're not subservient to men at all, right?
  • transmisogynist: Hell no. I'm a radical feminist, I'm a lesbian, I do not share the class interests of men and I work towards women's liberation from men as a class and, ultimately, the end of the restrictive system of gender.
  • trans woman: So, logically, this would be an example of how your gendered socialization DIDN'T control your outcome as a person. Sure, you had to actively resist that socialization, but you've moved past that.
  • transmisogynist: Yes, that's true, but the same can't be said about you, you're clearly male-socialized.
  • trans woman: Hell no. I'm a radical feminist, I'm a lesbian, I do not share the class interests of men and I work towards women's liberation from men as a class and, ultimately, the end of the restrictive system of gender.
  • transmisogynist: No, that's wrong! You can't be a lesbian, you're a male!
  • trans woman: Don't say that to my wife, she's gonna be pretty mad if you tell her she's not really a lesbian. She's been a lesbian for years, I seriously don't see how my gender is any different than the gender of her last girlfriend.
  • transmisogynist: You can't be a feminist, either! You're a male, there's no way you can understand the struggles of being a woman!
  • trans woman: Didn't you post one of my essays on gender on your facebook wall?
  • transmisogynist: Er, well, yes, but, that's before I knew that you were trans! See, this is more of your deceptive duplicitous behavior, concrete proof that you cannot overcome your male socialization or produce ideas that deserve consideration as contributions to feminism.
  • trans woman: But didn't you praise that shitty liberal Male Feminist guy's anti-transgender article?
  • transmisogynist: Yeah, but, at least he isn't calling himself a feminist, just a feminist Ally. So he's being honest and knowing his boundaries while helping feminism.
  • trans woman: And didn't you praise that conservative politician's proposed ban on transgender people being able to use the restroom? Why the hell would you ever side with a conservative? You realize that he's the same guy who has previously worked to defund women's healthcare services and repeal gay marriage? Supporting him in any capacity gives him political capital that he'll be able to leverage for future reactionary policies, because he is literally an anti-feminist politician.
  • transmisogynist: But he's one of the few politicians who's willing to stand up for a ban on transgender people in restrooms.
  • trans woman: Yeah, because he's an out-and-out bigot against LGBT people and women. He's literally creating legal contexts for male violence against transgender women, something that you've PREVIOUSLY stated you're opposed to, but now apparently you're for it.
  • transmisogynist: What male violence? It's just a legal protection for vulnerable women and girls in the sanctified space of the public bathroom.
  • trans woman: The male violence of police officers, prison guards, and prison inmates. That's the male violence that you're totally fine with exposing trans women to. If you really gave a shit about reduction of harm, you would support my right to use whatever PUBLIC RESTROOM I wanted, and support gender-neutral restrooms. After all, butch cis women have been harassed and gender-policed in restrooms in states where that law was in effect, and had security guards called on them. Isn't that a fucking travesty? I support butch women's right to use women's restrooms, and if you support trans bathroom bans, you DON'T. Cis and trans women share certain class interests, and often times if you work against trans women's' class interests, you're ultimately going to harm cis women's class interests as well. We suffer a wage gap too, which is why so many of us are FEMINISTS.
Guardians of the Galaxy Roleplay Sentence Starters
  • "You'll die! Why are you doing this? Why?"
  • "Well that's just as fascinating as the first 89 times you told me that."
  • "Well I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin, real fast, bud."
  • " I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is good to once again be among friends."
  • "This dumb tree is also my friend."
  • "I have lived most of my life surrounded my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends."
  • "Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway... "
  • "Well now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle."
  • "We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!"
  • "That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life."
  • "Finger on throat means death!"
  • "They got my dick message."
  • "His people are completely literal. Metaphors go over his head."
  • "That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg. "
  • "God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless."
  • "Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade."
  • "That's for if things get really hardcore. Or if you wanna blow up moons."
  • "You just wanna suck the joy out of everything."
  • "Who put the sticks up their butts?"
  • "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
  • "Fine, but I can't promise when all of this is over I'm not going to kill every last one of you jerks."
  • "See, this is exactly why none of you have any friends!"
  • "Oh she has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this would look like a Jackson Pollock painting."
  • "You got issues."
  • "He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does!"
  • " I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over and turned into some little monster!"
  • "When I look around, you know what I see? Losers."
  • "You're an imbecile."
  • "I can't believe I got taken down by a raccoon."
  • "Raccoon? What's a raccoon?"
  • "Ain't no thing like me, except me!"
  • "We're just like Kevin Bacon."
  • "I live for the simple things... like how much this is going to hurt!"
  • "Dance-off, bro. Me and you."
  • "I like your knife, I'm keeping it."
  • "Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things."
  • "He said that he may be an... a-hole. But he's not, and I quote, 100% a dick".
  • "Well, I don't know if I believe anyone is 100% a dick."
  • "Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots in your freakin' face!"
  • "Creepy little beast!"
  • "I don't learn. One of my issues."
  • "Look at this thing. It thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to ask for help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle!"
  • "Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede! That song belongs to me!"
  • "Hold on a second, you're being serious right now?"
  • "I can't believe I'm taking orders from a hamster."
  • "You're a good looking girl. You should try to be more nice to people."
If Jamie and Claire could text: The Search Edition (for @ofbrochtuarach)
  • << Incoming call from unknown caller
  • Claire: > > Ignore < <
  • << Incoming call from unknown caller
  • Claire: > > Ignore < <
  • << Incoming call from unknown caller
  • Claire: > > Ignore < <
  • << Incoming call from unknown caller
  • << Incoming call from unknown caller
  • << Incoming call from unknown caller
  • Claire: Jesus FUCKING Christ, stop calling me whoever you are
  • unknown number: Claire, it's me!!
  • Claire: ....it's who?
  • unknown number: Jamie
  • unknown number: your husband
  • Claire: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Claire: wait
  • Claire: wait NO NO NO STOP
  • Claire: how do I know it's you???
  • unknown number: Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, it is I, James Alexander Malcol
  • Claire: send a selfie RIGHT THIS MINUTE e before I explode
  • unknown number: phone doesna have a camera
  • unknown number: tis an awful shit of a burner
  • unknown number: best i could do wi limited funds
  • unknown number: but GOD, Claire are ye alright, mo chridhe??? I've missed ye so m
  • Claire: WAIT
  • Claire: hold your bloody horses, anon
  • Claire: i'm not telling you a GD thing until I have proof that you actually are jamie
  • Claire: you could be literally anyone
  • Claire: could be Dougal mackenzie trying to ensnare me into marriage
  • unknown number: WTF? ew?
  • unknown number: nevermind that
  • unknown number: mnd it's ME
  • Claire: tell me something only you could know
  • unknown number: Oh, and aye, I 'm doing just fine by the way. What's that? Oh, aye, I'm verra happy to be alive, thank ye verra much for asking.
  • Claire: SHUT IT
  • Claire: What is that pet name I call you in bed?
  • unknown number: ... claire
  • Claire: WHAT?
  • unknown number: dinna make me write it out
  • Claire: WHAT
  • Claire: DO
  • Claire: I
  • Claire: CALL
  • Claire: YOU?
  • unknown number:
  • unknown number:
  • unknown number:
  • unknown number: gingernutmuffin
  • Claire: LWEIBGOWIEBGLWKEBFG:EUTH:WEIURG:BUO@P(&@YP(&BF#@$
  • Claire: OH MY GOD!!!!!
  • Claire: JAMIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Claire: YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Jamie: and not in the slightest bit humiliated (-_-)
  • Claire: OH DARLING I'VE BEEN **FRANTIC***
  • Jamie: :D <3<3<3<3<3<3
  • Claire: ARE YOU ALRIGHT????
  • Claire: ...and JHRC, do you really not have access to real emojis????
  • Jamie: aye, it's torture. It's a... razr?
  • Jamie: ANYWAY
  • Claire: WHERE ARE YOU???
  • Jamie: been hiding out staying low to the ground
  • Jamie: not far from Grant lands at the moment
  • Claire: I'm with Murtagh, we'll come to you at once
  • Jamie: nay, I'll come to where ye are, tis safer
  • Jamie: besides, there's a theatrical performance I needs must attend
  • Claire: a what??
  • Claire: what are you tal
  • Claire: oh...
  • Jamie: I hear 'THE SINGING SASSENACH' is a bonnie wee thing
  • Claire: bloody hell
  • Jamie: and wears breeks that put her arse to verra fine advantage
  • Claire: well
  • Claire: can't just say that they're wrong
  • Jamie: believe me when I say that it was the greatest test of all to remain hidden under the brush and not smash the traveler to a pulp
  • Claire: I can ONLY imagine, my raging dearest
  • Jamie: 'like two plump apples in a bonnie sack'
  • Claire: not the most elegant epithet, but i'll take it
  • Claire: I'll bet you ruptured a few blood vessels at that
  • Claire: Jamie i'm SO HAPPY you're alright
  • Jamie: me too, MND
  • Claire: Murtagh says meet us on the outskirts of beauly harbor and we'll work on securing passage out of the country
  • Jamie: tell him his warmth and loving words to his godson mean a great deal in this trying time
  • Claire: he says shut your gob and get moving
  • Jamie: sounds about right
  • Claire: good lord this is such good fortune
  • Claire: can you imagine if we'd just kept riding about LOOKING for you??
  • Jamie: god, no, that would have been terrible
  • Jamie: Let's go get a place in amsterdam and not come out of bed for a minimum of 15 weeks
  • Jamie: maybe even 17
  • Jamie: 27.6
  • Jamie: I'm flexible on the exact duration
  • Jamie: but
  • Jamie: --->SEX<----
  • Jamie: lots and lots forever
  • Jamie: and immediately
  • Jamie: all the ways
  • Jamie: sorryi'msohungryandtired
  • Claire: sounds like a GRAND plan
  • Claire: just remember we have to get across the sea first
  • Jamie: .....fckkk
  • Claire: what?
  • Claire: you don't like boats?
  • Jamie: just...
  • Jamie: do me a great favor and keep thinking about all the things ye love about me
  • Jamie: and dinna come into the cabin
  • Claire: it can't be THAT bad surely
  • Jamie: GIRL
  • Claire: did you just call me 'girl'???
  • Jamie: YE DINNA
  • Jamie: EVEN
  • Jamie: KEN
things don’t always turn out that way

Sara sent him to run errands because she was worried he’d freak out – Jeff was sure of it. And, okay, yeah. Maybe he’d gone a little bit crazy on the ice. And maybe he’d screamed at a doctor earlier. But that was no reason to –

Well, okay. It was a great reason. And Jeff did feel better having checked on both Kit and Kevin. Sara’d asked him to get some shoes, too, because apparently Kent had visitors, one of which he’d thrown up on.

It irritated Jeff that Kent had visitors before he’d gotten to see him.

Keep reading

The signs when arguing and how to deal with it
  • ☯ Please use your sun/mars signs ☯
  • Aries: They will go off and won't stop no matter how much of their judgement is altered. Most of the time they get too flustered up with emotion about the subject or they feel hurt, so they stop thinking and just pour out what's in the top of their head.
  • How to deal with it - Don't argue back. Just be patient, ask them to take a breath and know that they aren't meaning to hurt you in any way. Let them cool off on their own
  • Taurus: Stubborn as hell and won't back down until proven right - at least that's the stereotype.
  • How to deal with it - Honestly just let them talk for once. The only reasons Tauruses argue is because no one is letting them get their point across. Let them speak for once, sit tight and listen and then speak. At least the both of you will be heard.
  • Gemini: Literally everything you say will be considered wrong. They probably won't try to look at your side from the argument and they get kinda defensive about their views.
  • How to deal with it - Geminis can be a bit stubborn so it's hard to handle it at first, but most of the time it's best just to let them keep talking. If you argue back with them that'll just fuel the fire
  • Cancer: They get vicious. Don't be fooled about that stereotype where they're all sweet as hell, when you get into an argument with them things can get ugly.
  • How to deal with it - Know that when they say something to hurt you, that means you probably hurt them in some way. Try to find middle ground and the reason why you two are fighting in the first place.
  • Leo: No matter what they're always gonna think they're right. Sometimes they can get caught up with their own feelings and reasonings and refuse to look at anyone elses until they are heard first.
  • How to deal with it - I know this may seem hard at first but try to hear them out before you talk about your side. Let them know you understand, and after they've calmed down feel free to talk about how you feel. Leos are extremely caring and understanding up until they are upset in any way, so let them cool down first.
  • Virgo: They're fucking scary. If you get into an argument with a virgo, they can say some nasty things that cut right into you core. The worst part is that they always know what to say.
  • How to deal with it - It'll probably hurt you a lot or make you angry when you fight with them, but honestly I wouldn't. When you get upset, that makes them even more fired up and it creates chaos. It's okay to argue back but it's best to just leave them alone and talk to them later before they say something they may regret.
  • Libra: If anything, they'll get feisty. They aren't the type to full blown attack you but they can get overwhelmed and snap at you.
  • How to deal with it - Leave them alone. Libras need their space, and if you pick that time to argue with them about something they'll literally just shut you down before you finish talking. Leave. Them. Alone. Talk to them about it later.
  • Scorpio: Terrifying. They make a full 180 from their normally happy and humourous personality and just turn extremely mean. Most of the time they don't mean to say nasty things and they don't want to hurt you, but they get so caught up with their feelings they can't help it.
  • How to deal with it - This ones a hard one and probably one of the only bad things about scorpios. It's important to stay calm, because if you freak out they'll only get more upset because they see that they're hurting you and they get angry at themselves. Leave them alone, or if you can handle it try to ease them out of it and comfort them. Sounds weird to do in a middle of an argument, but trust me they're more mad at themselves than they are at you.
  • Sagittarius: They don't get mad easily but they cool down extremely fast. Don't let that fool you though, if you argue with a sagittarius it's like trying to defuse a bomb and having it blow up in your face.
  • How to deal with it - literally just let them wear themselves out and make them laugh. They're fairly simple to make up with and are willing to compromise with you if you just get them to chill.
  • Capricorn: Why are you even arguing with them? It's hard to get them to listen to you because they can be stubborn as hell and always want to have their own way.
  • How to deal with it - This is probably the hardest one. If you give them a good enough reason they will listen to you but you have to treat it a bit like a debate, but do not get heated. If you stay calm when speaking to them then you'll have a better chance.
  • Aquarius: They have a whole bunch of facts and shit to prove you wrong and like the other air signs; they'll always think they're right.
  • How to deal with it - A lot of them have a hard time listening to people when they have something to say, so let them go first and ask them if you can speak. This sounds like a weird play during an argument but it'll prevent heated and bias views. Aquariuses won't make sense if they're fired up and that'll only just make them sad or upset
  • Pisces: Literally arguments will go on for days passively or they will blow up. It's never in between, it's one or the other. Pisces usually hide their feelings and gradually bring it up passive aggressively starting small arguments that die down quickly and return again, or they get so overwhelmed with emotion they slay the shit out of you.
  • How to deal with it - You're not gonna win by getting upset. It's about being honest and letting them truly come out with how they feel also. It's kinda hard to do that especially when they keep going "No really, i'm fine" when they actually aren't. Sometimes you just need to confront them to settle it once and for all. Even if they blow up it's better than them throwing shade at you for something that happened months ago
MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS.
  • ❝ Uh, do whatever you want, I'm super dead! ❞
  • ❝ You have a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important. ❞
  • ❝ Ring ring, hello? Oh, hold on, it's for you - it's second place. ❞
  • ❝ You know that I ain't bragging. ❞
  • ❝ I'm reading this from Wikipedia, so it has to be true. ❞
  • ❝ Let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot. ❞
  • ❝ I bet I've got til lunch at least before everyone sees I'm a spaz! ❞
  • ❝ I'm not very hungry - just gimme a double Polar Burger with everything and a cherry soda with chocolate ice cream. ❞
  • ❝ Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo! ❞
  • ❝ Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits. ❞
  • ❝ Is that unfair? -- Oh wait, I don't care. ❞
  • ❝ The truth is that you're such a dork, you kinda make it cool. ❞
  • ❝ We got more balls than the team we cheer for! ❞
  • ❝ Miss Goody Two Shoes makes me wanna barf. ❞
  • ❝ Even mocking cheerleaders cannot hide the emptiness in my soul. ❞
  • ❝ They're dogs! No! Lower than that, they're fleas on dogs! ❞
  • ❝ I'm a trust fund baby, you can trust me. ❞
  • ❝ The dinosaurs choked on the dust, they died because God said they must. ❞
  • ❝ Happy kitties, sleepy puppies, tiny duckies, sparkly ponies... ❞
  • ❝ My teen angst bullshit has a body count. ❞
  • ❝ Give my love to the leprechauns. ❞
  • ❝ I thought you were a spoiled, rich, uptight little white bitch now I think you're just white. ❞
  • ❝ I am tired of living alone with my cat! ❞
  • ❝ You drink a lot of Red Bull, don't you? ❞
  • ❝ If I get blood on the carpet my mother will kill me. ❞
  • ❝ Some say that I'm a pompous creep - somehow I don't lose that much sleep. ❞
  • ❝ Such a blunder. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder. ❞
  • ❝ Shakin' at the high school hop. ❞
  • ❝ I've got lots of experience with not fitting in. Do you need some pointers? ❞
  • ❝ Ugh. You've got a left hand, use it. ❞
  • ❝ Showing up here took some guts, time to rip 'em out. ❞
  • ❝ Keep that pelvis far from me! ❞
  • ❝ Thanks, but I don't need voices in my head today. ❞
  • ❝ You don't wanna hear all the horny details. ❞
  • ❝ I gotta go get my asthma spray... ❞
  • ❝ Your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. ❞
  • ❝ Does your mommy know you eat all this crap? ❞
  • ❝ Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply. ❞
  • ❝ Language, honey child, please. ❞
  • ❝ Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. ❞
  • ❝ I don't rat my hair! ❞
  • ❝ My dog speaks more eloquently than thee. ❞
  • ❝ Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in. ❞
  • ❝ You're my last meal on death row. ❞
  • ❝ I've got a big butt, well so what? It's good as any other! ❞
  • ❝ I led a protest march against insensitive cartoons! ❞
  • ❝ Some people are SO touchy. ❞
  • ❝ Mama gave birth to the hand-jive. ❞
  • ❝ It's hot in here and kinda smells like someone wet the bed... ❞
  • ❝ Oh... I wanted to answer the puppy question? ❞
  • ❝ You're absolutely right - should have shot him in the mouth, that would've shut him up. ❞
  • ❝ I haven't slept since 1992. ❞
  • ❝ Malum in se is an action evil in itself. Assault, murder, white shoes after labor day. ❞
  • ❝ You need a cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of all these years of diagreements. ❞
  • ❝ Donate my car to crippled kids, or to those ghetto moms on crack. ❞
  • ❝ I'm, like, gonna cry - I got tears comin' outta my nose! ❞
  • ❝ Keep your filthy paws off of my silky drawers. ❞
  • ❝ Color me stoked. ❞
  • ❝ Yo, who the f is this? ❞
  • ❝ You've got the best friggin shoes! ❞
  • ❝ Keep it positive as you slap her to the floor! ❞
  • ❝ Come on! Let's go krunkin' in the parking lot! ❞
  • ❝ I've come of age to be a raging castrating bitch! ❞
  • ❝ I'll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities. ❞
  • ❝ Really stick it to the phallocentric war machine! ❞
  • ❝ Must we all descend into madness? ❞
  • ❝ It's a work of genius. I couldn't undo it if I tried.... and I tried. ❞
  • ❝ Dear God... it's scented. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. ❞
  • ❝ So go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock. ❞
  • ❝ I want a devil in skin tight leather. ❞
  • ❝ You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick? ❞
  • ❝ You know, for a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. ❞
  • ❝ You ain't never caught a rabbit. ❞
  • ❝ Honestly, it's kind of draining... ❞
  • ❝ I just did what you wished you could but you don't have the balls. ❞
  • ❝ I'm dazzling! Magnificent! I am the one percent! ❞
  • ❝ Now what I'm going to say may seem indelicate... ❞
  • ❝ I'm gonna French kiss with tongue like I dreamed I'd do - and not just with my pillow! ❞
  • ❝ It's like hearing a ticking sound coming from unmarked packages! ❞
  • ❝ Someone's had their morning coffee... ❞
  • ❝ We're what killed the dinosaurs! ❞
  • ❝ I don't know what you heard, but whatever it is, they started it. ❞
  • ❝ Fine, okay, I'm gay! ❞
  • ❝ You can set my bones and I know CPR. ❞
  • ❝ Immigrants - we get the job done. ❞
  • ❝ Man. What rich, romantic planet are you from? ❞
  • ❝ Whaaaaaaat. ❞
  • ❝ What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. ❞
  • ❝ Awesome... wow. ❞
  • ❝ I'm bigger than John Lennon! ❞
  • ❝ I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. ❞
  • ❝ If you're going for mediocre, you've done great! ❞
  • ❝ Alright, we can't break out of here, but we sure can break a sweat! ❞
  • ❝ Gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky. ❞
  • ❝ It's got groove! It's got meaning! ❞
  • ❝ When I fight I make the other side panicky! ❞
  • ❝ That is a metro hetero jerk! ❞
  • ❝ Love is like forever this is no time to economize! ❞
  • ❝ Their thinkin' is stinkin' and a little outdated. ❞
  • ❝ I'm probably too cool for you, so friend request denied. ❞
  • ❝ You're on Jiffy Pop detail. ❞
  • ❝ I don't have to always be right - when I'm with you, I just am. ❞
  • ❝ I'm raisin' hell and I'm a felon in a four foot frame. ❞
  • ❝ Guys who wear that get beat up on my street. ❞
  • ❝ It's like making love to you all night, NO WAIT! It feels so much better! ❞
  • ❝ No sleep for you, better chug that Mountain Dew. ❞
  • ❝ All I got was a running nose and Asiatic flu. ❞
  • ❝ You ain't no friend of mine. ❞
  • ❝ We have fought on like, seventy-five different fronts. ❞
  • ❝ I'm not freaking out, I'm really okay, I'm totally chill. ❞
  • ❝ If your Irish boy tires of you, you're allowed to shoot him in the knees. ❞
  • ❝ You ever see somebody ruin their own life? ❞
  • ❝ The more you jump around and scream, the sexier you seem. ❞
  • ❝ Peachy keen, jellybean. ❞
  • ❝ Both your hair and shoes are flat. ❞
  • ❝ Lookin' hot, Cream of Mushroom! ❞
Mean Girls Starters
  • ❝If you're from Africa, why are you white?❞
  • ❝Oh my God, [name], you can't just ask people why they're white.❞
  • ❝Boo, you whore!❞
  • ❝Nice wig, [name]. What's it made of?❞
  • ❝Your Mom's chest hair!❞
  • ❝On Wednesdays we wear pink!❞
  • ❝Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining [name]'s life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.❞
  • ❝Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.❞
  • ❝You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!❞
  • ❝See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, [name], for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with [name], [name]? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.❞
  • ❝And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!❞
  • ❝That is so fetch!❞
  • ❝Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!❞
  • ❝God! I am so sorry [name]. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!❞
  • ❝[Name], I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.❞
  • ❝And none for [name], bye!❞
  • ❝Get in loser, we're going shopping.❞
  • ❝Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.❞
  • ❝I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...❞
  • ❝She doesn't even go here!❞
  • ❝Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?❞
  • ❝I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.❞
  • ❝I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.❞
  • ❝Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.❞
  • ❝One time she met John Stamos on a plane... And he told her she was pretty.❞
  • ❝One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.❞
  • ❝Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?❞
  • ❝Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.❞
  • ❝Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!❞
  • ❝[Name] had cracked.❞
  • ❝Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!❞
  • ❝Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin, 'cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!❞
  • ❝There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!❞
  • ❝I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.❞
  • ❝I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.❞
  • ❝Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?❞
  • ❝I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD [name] you're so stupid!❞
  • ❝It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.❞
  • ❝That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.❞
  • ❝She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.❞
  • ❝That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.❞
  • ❝She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.❞
  • ❝And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.❞
  • ❝Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!❞
  • ❝At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.❞
  • ❝Is butter a carb?❞
  • ❝You can't sit with us!❞
  • ❝Fine! You can walk home, bitches.❞
  • ❝And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.❞
  • ❝My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.❞
  • ❝I love her. She's like a Martian!❞
  • ❝Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?❞
  • ❝She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?❞
  • ❝I like invented her, you know what I mean?❞
  • ❝I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.❞
  • ❝Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.❞
  • ❝Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.❞
  • ❝Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.❞
  • ❝Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!❞
  • ❝I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.❞
  • ❝Your face smells like peppermint!❞
  • ❝Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.❞
  • ❝You're a regulation hottie.❞
  • ❝We do not have a clique problem at this school.❞
  • ❝But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".❞
  • ❝I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!❞
  • ❝Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.❞
  • ❝I don't hate you cuz yo' fat... yo' fat cuz I hate you!❞
  • ❝You smell like a baby prostitute.❞
  • ❝Is your muffin buttered?❞
  • ❝Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?❞
  • ❝Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.❞
  • ❝Finally, Girl World was at peace.❞
  • ❝Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.❞
  • ❝Damn, Africa, what happened?❞
  • ❝I saw [name] wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.❞
  • ❝Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?❞
  • ❝Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.❞
  • ❝Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.❞
  • ❝Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.❞
  • ❝Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?❞
  • ❝I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.❞
  • ❝I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.❞
  • ❝Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.❞
  • ❝Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?❞
  • ❝What are marijuana tablets?❞
  • ❝You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.❞
  • ❝Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.❞
  • ❝Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.❞
  • ❝Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!❞
  • ❝I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.❞
  • ❝Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is!❞
  • ❝And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.❞
  • ❝She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.❞
  • ❝I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.❞
  • ❝Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!❞
  • ❝I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.❞
  • ❝You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.❞
  • ❝There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.❞
  • ❝Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.❞
  • ❝The limit does not exist!❞
  • ❝I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending.❞
  • ❝It's called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.❞
  • ❝She's fabulous, but she's evil.❞
  • ❝So, are you gonna send any candy canes?❞
  • ❝No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.❞
  • ❝'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.❞
  • ❝Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.❞
  • ❝Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!❞
  • ❝Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute... Actual vomit.❞
  • ❝Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.❞
  • ❝I'm a cool mom! Right Regina?❞
  • ❝Good news, they didn't get run over... Bad news, they're still flat.❞
  • ❝Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?❞
  • ❝Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.❞
  • ❝I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn't even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that.❞
"Final Fantasy VII" Starter Sentences
  • "Don't fight here! You'll ruin the flowers!"
  • "You look like a bear wearing a marshmallow."
  • "I've been here since the beginning and I still don't know what the hell's goin' on."
  • "It's all right. You're here... Everyone's all together. Together... we can do anything. We've worked this hard already."
  • "Humans only look at appearances, anyway. Any way you look at it, I'd say I make a fine human being."
  • "Both 'Gya ha ha' and 'Kya ha ha' are up to something. Wanna eavesdrop?"
  • "Something bothers me. I think it's your way of life. You don't get paid. You don't get praised. Yet, you still risk your lives and continue on your journey. Seeing that makes me... it just makes me think about my life."
  • "Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!"
  • "It's really something, having a smoke at a place like this."
  • "I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it."
  • "Oh, GAWD! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!!"
  • "Out of my way. I'm going to see my mother."
  • "...It's just that we're off-duty!! Go away. I don't want to talk to you."
  • "I'm going, going, going, gone! And I'm leavin' the thinkin' to you!"
  • "Shit! Shit! Shit! What the hell's with this place!"
  • "Huh? What the hell're you sayin'? You're still young, and you give up that easily?"
  • "Cold? Hmmm... I guess that's just the way I am, sorry."
  • "I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over."
Natza Drabble - Essence of Erza (Part 1)
  • Gray: *chokes on his own bile as he regroups with Natsu and Erza* F-F-Flamebrain...? Wh-What happened?
  • Natsu: Hey, Ice Prick~! Great news! We found that artifact thing~
  • Gray: ...
  • Natsu: The bad news... well... Erza sort of broke it.
  • Erza #01: *wearing a blood-red version of the Heart Kreuz Armor, glares at Natsu acidly* WE broke it?! YOU wouldn't hand the damn thing over, idiot! You're damn lucky *I* dropped it!!! *promptly smashes the Pyro's head into the tree they're sitting under*
  • Natsu: o.O Lucky... right... *shakes head to stop making the world spin* You act all pissy, Rage-chan, but you know you can't stay mad at me~
  • Erza #01: *cheeks flare up the tiniest amount* Sh-Shut up... b-baka...
  • Gray: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! There are FIVE friggin' Erza's!!!!!
  • Natsu: *deadpan expression* Yeah, that's pretty much what the thing did when it broke into five parts, Slush Bucket. These are like the five core parts of Erza~. This is Rage-chan~ *clubbed over the head with a sledge hammer*
  • Rage: *glares right into Gray's very soul* WHAT?! Pummeling this idiot is very therapeutic! Do you have a problem...?
  • Gray: NO, MA'AM!
  • Natsu: *rubs his head as he stands back up, dusts off his pants*
  • Erza #02: *wearing a lavender version of the Heart Kreuz Armor, bends down to help Natsu up, looking very concerned* Are you alright...?
  • Natsu: *grin* I'm fine, um... which one were you again? ^^;
  • Erza #02: *looks away with a fierce blush* ...... I'm... Passion. I suppose.
  • Natsu: Passion-chan is one of the friendliest ones~. She likes to stick close to me, and keeps getting red in the face, even though she's not sick.
  • Gray: **I'm guessing that means she's got Erza's "romance" and "lust", too...**
  • Erza #03: Hiii, Gray! *a very bubbly Erza with bright pink Heart Kreuz Armor waves from up in the tree they're sitting under*
  • Natsu: And that's Happy-chan~
  • Happy: She's not me, Aye!
  • Joy: If it makes it easier, just call me Joy~. ^___^
  • Gray: O...kay...
  • Natsu: Then you got Brave-chan over here~ *gestures to an Erza wearing Heart Kreuz Armor with a camouflage pattern on it, who's doing a rapid series of high kicks, not really caring that her skirt is riding up*
  • Brave: Did you encounter any trouble?! We should take down any and all threats with extreme prejudice...!
  • Gray: ^^; She's... spunky...
  • Natsu: And last... you got... um... which one were you again?
  • Erza #05: *lazily sitting under the adjacent side of the tree, wearing orange Heart Kreuz Armor* *siiigh* I guess I might be sloth... or whatever... Natshu, can we head back home already? There's no strawberry cake here. >__>
  • Gray: ... *points at the orange-clad Erza* Sloth. *points to the camouflage-clad Erza* Brave. *points to the bubbly pink one* Joy. *points to the red-clad one and shudders* R-Rage... *points to the purple-clad one that's draped over Natsu* And... Passion. Okaaay... I think I can keep it straight... *pause* We are so fucked.
  • Rage: *pounds Gray flat with a massive blunt weapon* QUIT YOUR WHINING AND HELP US GET BACK TO NORMAL!
  • Natsu: *in lieu of his rival* Yeah... we're probably going to have to talk to Gramps about it... I don't think it's as simple as putting the crystal-thing back together. Already tried that. :P
  • Rage: ... *stomps Natsu flat, too* And WHOSE fault was THAT?!
  • Passion: Can't you be nicer to Natsu?! T_T
  • Brave: He's fine~! He can take an ass-kicking!
  • Joy: I like how warm and fuzzy he makes me feel! ^___^
  • Sloth: Eh... he's not so bad... I guess... Natshu, can you carry me home?
  • Gray: *staring deadpan up at the sky* How the hell... is there not a "Timid" core part of Erza...? I could deal with that one.
  • Natsu: I think between you, me, and Jellal, Timid pretty much became extinct. Just sayin'. :P
  • Gray: >__<
  • Rage: ... *pounds them each thrice more for good measure*
Signs as Mac DeMarco's lyrics
  • Aries:
  • honey, the stars keep on calling my name
  • but don't worry, I've told you again and again
  • when I'm down, you're always the first one to know
  • skipping town, I'll take you wherever I go
  • Taurus:
  • Try to keep myself clean for no one I've seen
  • Wearing all kind of shit that really don't fit
  • Five hundred and ones fit for this son
  • A pair of Levis jeans, you know what I mean
  • Gemini:
  • Blue boy, worried about the world's eyes
  • Worried every time the sun shines
  • Worried about his haircut
  • Calm down, sweetheart, grow up
  • Cancer:
  • Will she love me again tomorrow
  • I don't know, don't think so
  • And that's fine, fine by me
  • As long as, long as I know she's happy, happy
  • Leo:
  • Later in the evening, dipping in the tub
  • Washing, wearing Wranglers, I think that I'm in love
  • Straight leg or a bootcut, legging, darling, please
  • Stay with me forever, don't take off those jeans
  • Virgo:
  • No use looking out
  • It’s within that brings that
  • Lonely feeling
  • Understand that when you leave here
  • You’ll be clear
  • Of all the better men
  • Libra:
  • Then come on give this lover boy a try
  • I’ll put the sparkle right back in your eyes
  • What could you lose?
  • Scorpio:
  • That's all right with me
  • It's really no fuss
  • As long as you're next to me
  • Just the two of us
  • Sagittarius:
  • Watching my life, passing right in front of my eyes
  • Hell of a story, oh is it boring?
  • Can’t claim to care, never been reluctant to share
  • Passing out pieces of me, don’t you know nothing comes free?
  • Capricorn:
  • Oh mama, actin’ like my life’s already over
  • Oh dear, act your age and try another year
  • Always feeling tired, smiling when required
  • Write another year off and kindly resign
  • Aquarius:
  • up out of bed at 3 and i feel like im dying
  • but if she's there next to me, then theres no use in crying
  • cause she's really all i need, its true my heart is flying
  • life can be such a breeze, as long as its just her and me
  • Pisces:
  • Sit down beside me
  • Let me confide in you
  • You know when I'm blue
  • You know when I'm lonely
  • And honey I'm lonely
Hangover = Trouble
  • Morning after Snotlout's big birthday party.
  • Astrid opens heavy eyes to find herself lying on the floor. Red, silver, blue, and black balloons floating around or against the ceiling. Empty red cups and cake leftovers filled every visible table or corner. Confetti strings scattered all around the floors and furniture.
  • Astrid's thoughts: The hell happened last night?
  • Hiccup: Mmmnnn...
  • Astrid's head turns to find Hiccup lying next to her. Shirtless.
  • Astrid: Hiccup?
  • Hiccup frowns and moans in discomfort as he slams a hand on his face and runs it back through his hair. Finally opens eyes, pushes himself up by the elbows and looks around.
  • Hiccup: Looks like a tornado took over.
  • Astrid: Why are you shirtless?
  • Hiccup: Why are you wearing my shirt?
  • Astrid: What?!
  • Astrid sits up and realizes she was wearing Hiccup's shirt. Peeking under it, she only saw her bra and jeans.
  • Astrid: Where is my blouse?!
  • Hiccup: Don't ask me, I can barely remember how we got here.
  • Ruffnut(groans from under the dining table): Would you two keep it down?
  • Tuffnut(growls from the kitchen floor): Ugh, I feel like someone stuck something up my ass. Can't feel my limbs.
  • Snotlout(giggles from the couch): Best. Party. Ever. Seriously we need to repeat this. Especially that game we played with the bottle, what was it? Spin the bottle? Yeah, that one.
  • Hiccup(gulps down whatever is in his stomach that wants to come back out): This is bad...
  • Fishlegs(coming down from the stairs. Sober): Very. You all need a cold shower and lots of broth to clear up your thoughts.
  • Hiccup(points at him): You look like you remember every detail. Speak up.
  • Astrid: Please tell me Hiccup and I didn't.......you know.
  • Fishlegs: Didn't what?
  • Hiccup: Didn't do.....
  • Fishlegs: Didn't do...?
  • Astrid: Arg, for Thor's sake tell us we didn't have sex at the party!!!
  • Everyone: ............
  • Fishlegs: You didn't.
  • Astrid and Hiccup sigh in relief at the same time.
  • Astrid: Then why am I wearing his shirt?
  • Fishlegs: You were upset because of something I'm not so quite sure of and drank excessively.
  • Hiccup: Ah, now I think I remember... You stained your blouse with vomit so I gave you mine.
  • Fishlegs: Exactly. Oh, and Astrid? Your dad's been calling you nonstop.
  • Astrid(troubled): Ugh, daddy's going to kill me...I'm out of here.
  • Hiccup: Wait, take me with you.
  • Astrid: First we have to get you a jacket or something. You're not going anywhere like that, Hiccup.
  • Hiccup: Where are you going to get a jacket from?
  • Astrid: Snotlout's closet.
  • Hiccup: Astrid, I'm fine. Really.
  • Astrid: Hiccup, it's cold outside.
  • Hiccup: But we're just ten minutes from my house.
  • Astrid: Not a chance.
  • After searching through Snotlout's closet for a nice jacket, Astrid went back down to meet Hiccup at the front porch and offered to slide the jacket up his arms.
  • Hiccup: Thank you, milady.
pick up lines sentence starter
  • Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.
  • Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
  • Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!
  • I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  • If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a Fine-apple!
  • Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  • Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  • Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.
  • If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
  • I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
  • I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?
  • I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  • Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
  • There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.
  • Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
  • If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
  • Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes.
  • I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
  • Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.
  • I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
  • I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that.
  • My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
  • Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
  • Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
  • I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.
  • Do you live in a corn field, cause I'm stalking you.
  • Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.
  • Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
  • You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
  • Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.
  • I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by YOU.
  • I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
  • Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  • I'm not staring at your boobs. I'm staring at your heart.
  • You're the only girl I love now... but in ten years, I'll love another girl. She'll call you 'Mommy.'
  • Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
  • I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.
  • Your body is 65% water and I'm thirsty.
  • Hey, don't frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.
  • My doctor says I'm lacking Vitamin U.
  • Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you're lacking some Vitamin Me.
  • Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I'll be your man.
  • Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  • Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.
  • For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
  • You look so familiar… didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
  • Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
  • Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!
  • You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  • You shouldn't wear makeup. It's messing with perfection!
  • If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
  • Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
  • I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen
  • If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.
  • If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you.
  • Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.
  • Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
  • Did you read Dr. Seuss as a kid? Because green eggs and... damn!
  • Is your dad a drug dealer? Cause you're so Dope!
  • Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me!
  • There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
  • Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
  • Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
  • Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
  • Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
  • I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
  • There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
  • Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
  • Do you work at Dick's? Cause you're sporting the goods.
  • You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.
  • Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
  • You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot that you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
  • Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!
  • If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
  • Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.
  • Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle.
  • If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  • Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.
  • I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
  • Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.
  • You're kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.
  • Put down that cupake... you're sweet enough already.
  • You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
  • My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
  • Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
  • Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
  • I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.
  • I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
  • When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.
  • I like Legos, you like Legos, why don't we build a relationship?
  • Baby I might not be Sriracha sauce but, I sure will spice up your life.
  • Are you Jewish? Cause you ISRAELI HOT.
  • You may be asked to leave soon, you're making all the other women look bad.
  • Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?
  • Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
  • Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?
  • If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
  • Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!
  • Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.
  • Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  • No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.
  • Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!
  • I'm no organ donor but I'd be happy to give you my heart.
  • If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I'd have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.
  • Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I'm asking for is one from you.
  • Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless.
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
  • Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
  • If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
  • If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
  • Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn't hear you say "happily".
  • You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
  • Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
  • Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn't ask you how you looked!
  • Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
  • How was heaven when you left it?
  • Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
  • You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
  • Hey... somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
  • I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
  • There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  • You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!
  • Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.
  • Is your name "swiffer"? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.
  • Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.
  • Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  • Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
  • If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
  • You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
  • Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
  • Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
  • Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  • So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
  • You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
  • The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
  • Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
  • (As she is leaving) Hey aren't you forgetting something? (What?) Me!
  • Somebody better call God, cuz heaven's missing an angel!
  • Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.
  • I'm Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?
  • Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
  • If I were a transplant surgeon, I'd give you my heart.
  • Are you Willy Wonka's daughter, 'cuz you look sweet and delicious.
  • If you were a transformer, you'd be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.
  • Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that's right, we've only met in my dreams.
  • Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?
  • I'm sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.
  • I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  • I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
  • I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together.
  • If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  • If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.
  • My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
  • Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on Earth!
  • What time do you have to be back in heaven?
  • Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
  • Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
  • You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
  • Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  • [Point at her butt] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
  • Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  • Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
  • I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.
  • Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!
  • Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.
  • What's on the menu? Me-n-U
  • You're like pizza. Even when you are bad, you're good
  • I'd say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.
  • I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.
  • My friend thinks you're kinda cute, but I don't... I think you're absolutely gorgeous!
  • Let's commit the perfect crime: I'll steal your heart, and you'll steal mine.
  • You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.
  • If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard
  • Are you a hipster, because you make my hips stir.
  • Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect
  • Does your father sell diamonds? Because you are FLAWLESS!
  • You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
  • I wish I was cross eyed, so I could see you twice.
  • Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you're a-Dora-ble!
  • I don't know if you're beautiful, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.
  • You don't need keys to drive me crazy.
  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you.
  • People call me John, but you can call me tonight.
  • You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart
  • I need a dollar, but I only have 90 cents... do you want to be my dime?
  • [Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
  • Are you a magician??? Because Abraca-DAYUM!
  • Be unique and different, say yes.
  • Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
  • You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.
  • My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?
  • They say dating is a numbers game... so can I get your number?
  • My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
  • (Ask a person for the time) 9: 15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.
  • Pinch me. [Why?] You're so fine I must be dreaming.
  • if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say "I love you" with my last breath!
  • Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!
  • I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
  • You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb.
  • You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  • Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'.
  • When God made you, he was showing off.
  • Are you a Snickers bar? Cause you satisfy me.
  • Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.
  • Is your last name Campbell? Cause you're "mmmm... good!"
  • You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
  • Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.
  • Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
  • You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
  • Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
  • Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
  • I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
  • Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle
  • I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.
  • Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
  • If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
  • Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  • (Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
  • How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice... Hi, I'm (insert name here).
  • Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
  • Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
  • When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
  • Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?...Why?] Because I need your name and number.
  • Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?', 'What's your sign?', or 'Hello, I'm doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.'?
  • (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?
  • This time next year let’s be laughing together.
  • Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.
  • Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. I'm the 1 you need.
  • Most guys need 3 meals a day to keep going... I just need eye contact from you.
  • Hey baby, I must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
  • Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!
  • I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.
  • Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend.
  • Is your father Little Caesar? Cause you look Hot 'n Ready.
  • I could use some spare change and you're a dime.
  • I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it.
  • Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
  • Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.
  • Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
  • Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
  • Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
  • I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  • I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  • I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
  • I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
  • Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  • If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  • I sneezed because God blessed me with you.
  • Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  • Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
  • So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
  • I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!
  • Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.
  • Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
  • Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
  • What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
  • What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
  • Wow! Are those real?
  • I blame you for global warming... your hotness is too much for the planet to handle!
  • You are the reason men fall in love.
  • Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  • If you were ground coffee, you'd be Espresso cause you're so fine.
  • You better call Life Alert, 'cause I've fallen for you and I can't get up.
  • You're single. I'm single. Coincidence? I think not.
  • You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  • You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.
  • You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
  • You should be someone's wife.
  • Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  • Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
  • I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  • Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
  • You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  • If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
  • Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?
  • Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
  • There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
  • Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
  • Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
  • If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
  • Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?
  • You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
  • You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
  • Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
  • You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
  • Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
  • Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
  • Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  • Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
  • Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
  • Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
  • Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  • You're hotter than Papa Bear's porridge.
  • I hope there's a fire truck nearby, cause you're smokin'!
  • If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
  • How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
  • I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
  • (Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
  • You are a 9 - you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
  • Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
  • You're so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.
  • I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
  • Hey baby, you've got something on your butt - my eyes!
  • This isn't a beer belly, It's a fuel tank for a love machine.
  • I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
  • Here's the key to my house, my car... and my heart.
  • if we shared a garden, I'd put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)
  • Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
  • If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
  • Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
  • See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.
  • Stare at girl . ("What're you staring at?")
  • You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.
  • You're hotter than donut grease.
  • Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
  • Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  • If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous.
  • Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
  • If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
  • I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell.
  • I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.
  • If you were a steak you would be well done.
  • It's dark in here. Wait! It's because all of the light is shining on you.
  • Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
  • Do you have any raisins? [No] How about a date?
  • Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.
  • Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] 'Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!
  • Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.
  • On The Phone
  • She/He says: "Hold on"
  • You Say: "Sorry, I can't hold on... I've already fallen for you."
  • Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it!
  • Are you a microwave oven? Cause you melt my heart.
  • Did you get your license suspended for driving so many guys crazy?
  • Are you a girl scout, cause you tie my heart in knots.
  • You're so hot, I could bake cookies on you.
  • You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
  • Let's play Winnie the Pooh and get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  • When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  • If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
  • Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
PVRIS lyrics sentence starters
  • "Take a good look at what I've become."
  • "There's a hole in my chest and I don't think it's leaving room for anyone."
  • "I'm trying my best."
  • "I'm doing everything to bring this body back to life."
  • "No matter how hard I try, I don't think I will make it through the night."
  • "I've been changing, falling, fading."
  • "There's demons at the door patiently waiting."
  • "Please watch over me, and be the light to carry me."
  • "I can feel it, being torn from my, my hands; my innocence."
  • "This change is all so permanent."
  • "Can't you see a change in me?"
  • "This world is a masterpiece."
  • "Shout out to the artist who took his heart and his soul and lost them both in the process."
  • "Please be the saint to save me."
  • "You were spoiled rotten and turned stale." "My tongue's acquired tolerance for tastes I couldn't stand.""You've been stuck in a rut and a wasteland."
  • "So just trust me, you'll be just fine."
  • "I need your trust just for tonight."
  • "Reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel."
  • "This is not just all in your head."
  • "Mind over matter makes these things feel so real."
  • "I can see the doubt in your eyes."
  • "You say there's no such thing as better things in life."
  • "I must confess this is all too new for me."
  • "Keep an open mind, it brings open hearts and open eyes."
  • "I'm hoping you weren't heaven sent, 'cause only hell knows where you've been."
  • "Your built composure's wearing thin."
  • "All your walls are caving in."
  • "I just wanna lift you up."
  • "I'll take all this love I found and I hope that it's enough."
  • "Don't you shut this down, no, don't you give this up."
  • "If we don't bend then this might break."
  • "Dream of me to keep you safe."
  • "Before you came around, I was lost and out of place."
  • "You're the only love I found and I'm hoping that you'll stay."
  • "Please stay."
  • "This isn't violence, this is just a war in my head."
  • "I give it time but it never seems to end."
  • "Don't you try to run right now, 'cause baby I could burn you down."
  • "The second that you walk into a room, I can't help myself from the things that you do."
  • "You're killing me right now."
  • "I think it's time you burn me down."
  • "I love the things we do when it's just me and you."
  • "You're just a ghost of blissful feelings."
  • "I'm losing you to the games in my mind."
  • "I know it's chemicals that make me cling to you."
  • "I need a miracle to get away from you."
  • "I think you're a saint and I think you're an angel."
  • "You give me something to think about that's not the shit in my head."
  • "You're a miracle."
  • "You're a glimpse of bliss, a little taste of heaven."
  • "You give me something to talk about."
  • "I need a miracle to bring me back to you."
  • "I know you're gone now, but I still wait for you."
  • "You walk around like you own the place."
  • "Guess it was all my fault."
  • "I think I let you in."
  • "Never thought that I would feel like this."
  • "Such a mess when I'm in your presence."
  • "It's my soul, it isn't yours anymore."
  • "Darling, you can't stay."
  • "Haven't you heard? I'm not yours anymore."
  • "I think it's time to get out."
  • "You've got it all, but you've got it all wrong."
  • "You're a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "You make it seem that you feel whole so they don't know you're a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "Think you're holy when you're not."
  • "I hate to break it to you baby, but you're simply lost."
  • "Simply calling out sins don't bring you closer to God."
  • "You're just a ghost at most, a set of empty bones."
  • "Searching for anything and everything to make you feel whole."
  • "You're all alone, you poor unfortunate soul."
  • "You just know I'm a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "There's no way that there's weight in the words that you preach."
  • "You contradict your speech."
  • "You're shallow and empty and filled with regret."
  • "Don't think I didn't notice."
  • "You've got it all."
  • "You've got it all wrong."
  • "It's hard to be what you need."
  • "All you ever do is turn me down."
  • "Can you hear me? I'm screaming for you."
  • "Day by day, I'm slowly replaced in your picture frames."
  • "Sick of the lack of signal, sick of the lack of touch."
  • "It's not enough, it's not enough."
  • "Don't blame your death on the shit in your head that you claimed ate you like a virus for days on end."
  • "I watched you decay, watched you waste away."
  • "Who'd you think you'd fool, baby, digging your own grave?"
  • "So go ahead, you just drop dead."
  • "You're trying to fool the whole world."
  • "You can't cheat death when you're digging your own grave."
  • "You're out of line."
  • "Your bridges are burning."
  • "You started a fire and you're burning up."
  • "What you give is what you get and in your case that's nothing but guilt and regret."
  • "I swear I couldn't wait to get you off my chest."
  • "It's hard to find life in something that's already died."
  • "I can't sleep, that's when you're torn away from me."
  • "It's hard to say 'good morning' when it's followed with 'goodbye'."
  • "Just wanted to say 'good night.'"
  • "I'm not ready to say 'good night.'"
  • "Yeah, I need to feel you again."
  • "Here comes the hardest part."
  • "In what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don’t even know how it happens."
  • "Well I hope you’re having sweet dreams, and you call me when you wake up."
  • "Darling, don't be so shy."
  • "I'll see you at midnight."
  • "You make my world spin."
  • "I'll wait to see you again."
  • "I know you're dead inside."
  • "I don't feel so lonely."
  • "Darling, don't be so shy, I'll see you at midnight."
  • "In the morning, I hope I see you by my side."
  • "I know you're dead inside, but you make me feel alive."
  • "I'm the one with the ghosts in my bed."
  • "I swear that I'll be fine in the daylight."
  • "It's my head not my heart that's strayed."
  • "I'm sorry I keep pushing you away."
  • "I don't wanna fight."
  • "Why can't you stay?"
  • "I'm up against these things I can't see."
  • "Make me believe."
  • "You struck a match and left me to burn."
  • "I wanna feel something that's not the touch of your breath on my neck."
  • "I wanna feel something that's not the weight of your world in my head."
  • "I shouldn't give in, but I let you win."
  • "I won't let you in."
  • "I know it's warmer where you are and it's safer by your side."
  • "I can't be what you want."
  • "You and I can keep our love alive."
  • "It's cold when we're apart."
  • "I hate to feel this die."
  • "You can't give me what I want."
  • "I can't keep you in these arms so I keep you in my mind."
  • "Can we meet in the middle?"
  • "I've been wondering why you keep feeding me these lines."
  • "You made a fool of me."
  • "You charm me, it's not easy."
  • "You would not believe how the tides have turned."
  • "If I'm gonna play your games, I know there's a price to pay."
  • "I've got the tendency to constantly pay for my mistakes."
  • "I can't pick sides."
  • "You would not believe all the things I've seen."
  • "If I'm gonna lose this game, what's the use in trying to play?"
  • "I shouldn't expect any less but I can't always have my way."
  • "Your doubts of me are constant reminders of why I should stop hoping."
  • "Keep your eyes on me."
  • "I won't let them pull you under."
  • "You'll find what you're looking for."
"Final Fantasy VIII" Sentence Starters
  • "...Whatever."
  • "(Character name)? You have to voice your feelings or else I won't understand."
  • "YOOOO!!! The HELL you doin'!!!?"
  • "She/He might wake up with a kiss from the prince/princess."
  • "That is sooo vague!"
  • "I say things that get a rise out of some people. Just don't let it bother you and we'll get along fine."
  • "One of these days I'm gonna tell ya 'bout my ROMANTIC dream!"
  • "Oh well, nothing's cheaper than something free."
  • "We're not here for the booze, are we? We've got a war to fight."
  • "So we'll get smashed, and then we'll CHAAARGE!"
  • "...Poor, poor boy..."
  • "You will be proceeding to a real battlefield. Obviously, the battles are for real. Life and death, victory and defeat, honor and disgrace... Each of these go hand in hand. There's only one way or the other. How 'bout it? Are you still up for it?"
  • "I can't wait until I meet a guy that I can scream at and exchange blows with!"
  • "So what if we're undeveloped. We're not looking to thrive. All we want is to be able to stand on our own feet; to be independent and live according to what we believe."
  • "Just stay close to me."
  • "Did I say something terrible? Women... I don't understand them."
  • "I'm not your mom."
  • "You're-going-to-like-me! You're-going-to-like-me! Did it work?"
  • "You're still a teenager. Why don't you act like one for a change?"
  • "Why don't you try to show a little more passion...? You know, like me!"
  • "...Bastard."
  • "Alright! Let's hit that PAAH-TAY!"
  • "Well, we could skin this little guy and wear him as a disguise..."
  • "Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!"
  • "You should feel honored that a very, very cute girl sat on your bed, you know!"
  • "Cards? I only play with girls."
  • "Someone might not be there. Someone you love may disappear before your very eyes. It's tough when you live your life thinking that way. But that's why I fight..."
  • "Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way. It's a Squad B rule."
  • "This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me!"
Heavenly Commentary: Prisoner of Azkaban
  • Lily: You're back. How's Padfoot?
  • James: ...He escaped.
  • Lily: I'm sorry, what?!
  • James: He escaped. Turned and slipped through the bars. Swam right off the island. Watched him do it.
  • Lily: Why?
  • James: Because he's innocent?
  • Lily: He's always been innocent. Why now?
  • James: How am I to know?
  • Lily: I thought you guys knew everything about each other?
  • James: We used to. But these days the conversation is a little one sided.
  • ***
  • James: Happy birthday son.
  • Lily: Happy birthday Harry. We love you so much. And we're so proud of you...
  • James: Shh it's ok...
  • ***
  • James: Oh crap. Marge is coming. I hate this woman.
  • Lily: We all do. But at least he'll go to Hogsmeade.
  • James: One way or another.
  • ***
  • Lily: ...What did this bitch just say about me?
  • ***
  • Lily: Bad blood?!? I'll fucking kill this bitch.
  • James: Evans calm d-
  • Lily: No one talks about my boy like that!
  • ***
  • Lily: Ha! Serves you right, you pathetic creature!
  • James: True but him walking around Surrey with his stuff isn't the best of outcomes.
  • Lily: He'll be fine. He's survived worse.
  • James: I forgot you get like this.
  • ***
  • James: Was that...Padfoot?
  • Lily: I think it was. Why did he come to Harry?
  • ***
  • James: Three hours on the run and he walks right into the minister. He's not a good criminal is he?
  • Lily: That's a good thing. Why does Fudge seem fidgety? And why not press charges?
  • ***
  • Lily: He fell asleep with his glasses on. So adorable. My baby.
  • James: He'll be ok for a few days. I'm going to see if I can find Sirius. Maybe find out where he's going.
  • Lily: Ok be safe. Don't die.
  • ***
  • Lily: He looks so happy. Under the sun, surrounded by people.
  • ***
  • Lily: Any luck?
  • James: None. What's he been up to?
  • Lily: Enjoying freedom. Spent the last few days ogling a new broom. Best in the- James come back here!
  • ***
  • James: So they think Sirius wants to kill Harry? Are they stupid?
  • Lily: Given that they don't know a rather key piece of information, it's actually the logical conclusion.
  • James: No, they knew how close we were. They should have known he'd never betray us. And what's with "he's at hogwarts"?
  • Lily: That caught my attention too. It's possible he is actually after Harry. But to tell him the truth.
  • James: But like you said. Why now?
  • ***
  • James: Moony? He's teaching?
  • Lily: He looks so old...what happened to him?
  • James: He thinks one of his best friends killed the other three.
  • Lily: He's been so alone all these years.
  • ***
  • Lily: Why is the train stopping? And why is it getting colder?
  • James: How?
  • Lily: Frost on the glass. Oh my. Dementors. Why are they-
  • James: HARRY!
  • ***
  • James: Scream? Who screamed?
  • Lily: No one.
  • ***
  • Lily: I imagine Sirius is the Grim she is referring to.
  • James: I think so. You know, she looks like a crazy old lady but she's pretty talented.
  • Lily: She saw a big black dog and thought 'death omen'.
  • James: Yes, but she still saw the dog.
  • ***
  • Lily: How stupid do you have to be to insult a hippogriff?
  • James: About that stupid.
  • ***
  • James: If Harry is told that Sirius got us killed then he'll go after him.
  • Lily: I know. But Padfoot isn't the bad guy. So Harry isn't in any danger.
  • ***
  • James: Look at that greasy haired bastard. Look at his eyes. He's terrified of what Moony will tell Harry.
  • ***
  • Lily: Padfoot did that? Why?
  • James: This makes no sense. He came to Hogwarts to get into Gryffindor tower? What the hell?
  • Lily: How did he get in the castle?
  • James: He's a marauder Evans.
  • ***
  • James: Recognise and kill werewolves; you...aargh!
  • Lily: When did he become so awful?
  • James: He was always like this Lily. Just never to you. Natural born death eater.
  • ***
  • Lily: I'm fairly certain that was Sirius in the stands.
  • James: Probably. It's a good ga- Dementors!
  • Lily: HARRY!
  • ***
  • James: The broom...
  • Lily: You're more worried about the broom than the boy!
  • James: He's fine. But the broom...
  • ***
  • Lily: Please no...
  • James: It's you screaming. He hears you.
  • Lily: He hears me die...no James I can't take it! It's not right! IT'S NOT FAIR!!
  • James: Sshh...
  • ***
  • James: That's my map! Those little ginger geniuses! They've given Harry the map!
  • ***
  • Lily: He's listening to everything. Look at his face. It's killing him.
  • James: He may never know the truth. Only Sirius and Peter know what truly happened.
  • ***
  • James: He's so...angry. He hates Sirius so much.
  • ***
  • Lily: Isn't that the new broom? James?
  • James: ...That's...the sexiest thing I've ever seen...
  • Lily: You're forgetting that night when I wore that little red thing.
  • James: ...No I'm not.
  • ***
  • James: Strip it down?!? What the fuck?!?
  • Lily: Calm do-
  • James: HOW WOULD PADFOOT BUY A BROOM?!?
  • Lily: Why don't you ask him. Then ask him if he'll wear that red thing for you because I won't.
  • James: That's so- wait what?
  • ***
  • James: He...he heard me?
  • Lily: Oh god, he's crying.
  • James: We all are. I used to hate that our son didn't know what we sound like. Now I can't think of anything else I want more.
  • ***
  • Lily: Are you serious? Harrys patronus is YOU?!?
  • James: Our boy has style. Don't be jealous.
  • ***
  • Lily: Why the hell is Padfoot attacking Ron?
  • James: He didn't actually attack Ron.
  • Lily: You know, you're right. Let's throw him a parade! Why is your friend being so STUPID?!?
  • James: Why is it that whenever he does something stupid he becomes "my friend"?
  • ***
  • James: I should've let Snape die. We'd all be much happier. And alive.
  • ***
  • James: HE CAUGHT THE SNITCH!! THAT'S MY BOY!!
  • Lily: WOOOOOO!!! GO HARRY!!!
  • James: GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINGDOR!
  • J&L: GRYFFINDOR! GRYFFINDOR!
  • ***
  • Lily: What did she say?
  • James: That Voldemort is coming back...but that's not possible.
  • Lily: He never actually died did he? Albus himself said he's in Albania.
  • James: ...did you ever find out who made the prophecy about Harry?
  • Lily: No...
  • ***
  • James: Padfoot what in Gods name are you doing?!?
  • Lily: Ouch, he just broke Rons leg.
  • ***
  • James: Sirius mate, you look awful.
  • ***
  • James: He's choking Harry!
  • Lily: What the fuck Sirius!
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh Harry. Please don't...
  • ***
  • James: Moony! Thank god!
  • Lily: Where is who?
  • ***
  • Lily: What the hell is happening?
  • James: The rat? Why the hell...no...
  • Lily: James?
  • James: It's Peter...
  • ***
  • Lily: How is that possible?
  • James: I don't know but it's him...
  • Lily: How did you not recognise him!
  • James: Oh I'm sorry! Forgive me for not assuming every rat I see is the man who betrayed us.
  • ***
  • Lily: What the hell Severus?!
  • James: Your boyfriend is actually insane. He's actually lost his shit.
  • ***
  • James: Hello Peter.
  • ***
  • James: Don't kill him!
  • Lily: Harry is way ahead of you.
  • James: He really is remarkable.
  • ***
  • Lily: Harry live with Sirius?
  • James: That's amazing! They'll be so happy!
  • Lily: He'll never get any homework done!
  • James: True but balance that with the lack of starvation.
  • Lily: Oh shut up.
  • ***
  • Lily: Moony! Padfoot!!
  • James: PETER GET BACK HERE!!
  • Lily: Padfoot won't be able to find him. It's over.
  • James: No! It can't be- that's Sirius. Harry wait!
  • Lily: So many Dementors...they're going to kiss him.
  • James: That's a patronus. That's me. That's Harry!
  • ***
  • James: They gave her a time turner? For classes?
  • Lily: Of course they did. Who wouldn't give a thirteen year old girl the ability to travel through time? Why did we come along for the ride?
  • James: I guess because Harry did.
  • ***
  • Lily: Dumbledore sent our son back in time to save a hippogriff and a man.
  • James: Our son AND Hermione. Which makes it much less impossible. Caution is in order.
  • Lily: Caution will have been in order.
  • James: What?
  • ***
  • James: So they saved one beast. Let's see if they can save the other.
  • Lily: Dumbledore planned this all along. You realise that right?
  • James: I do.
  • Lily: He takes too many risks with our boy.
  • ***
  • Lily: He thinks it was you? Why?
  • James: Because I look like my son. Harry conjured that Patronus.
  • Lily: ...I hate time travel.
  • ***
  • James: He's going to try to see his father save his past self without realising that it was in fact his former present self that saved his then future self.
  • Lily: It's like you want me to hit you.
  • ***
  • Lily: They did it. They actually did it.
  • ***
  • James: Your damn right I would've been disappointed Moony.
  • Lily: Yes yes and unfortunately he's TOO much like you. And now Remus is leaving again. I hope he'll land on his feet.
  • James: Cats land on their feet. He's a dog.
  • Lily: You're awful.
  • James: And he's incorrigible.
  • ***
  • Lily: He carries you within him. That's something.
  • James: That's...that's everything.
  • ***
  • Lily: Padfoot you're brilliant!
  • James: Hogsmeade and a firebolt. Clearly he's trying to be the favourite.
  • Lily: The favourite? He's the only one there.
  • ***
  • James: I was thinking...
  • Lily: About the prediction and Pettigrew? Me too.
  • James: He's coming back. And when he does he's going to go after Harry.
  • Lily: I know.
  • James: What can we do?
  • Lily: Nothing.

-scoffs-  asked:

So idk if you're taking andriel headcanons but here we go anyway. So I really like defensive Neil. We all know that people generally don't take to Andrew, and I just love the idea of someone (maybe a random footballer, or someone from a different team) badmouthing Andrew when he wasn't around, but Neil (and dan and Matt) are and Neil gets super pissed. And Neil doesn't really want Andrew to be told (cos Andrew can take care of himself, of course) but Nicky tells him (cos of course he knows)

i’m sorry this took five years, but this is one of my favorite types of headcanons

  • so andrew wouldnt like knowing neil got into fights over him, nevermind for him. neil gets himself into too much trouble, and andrew doesnt want to contribute to that. he also doesnt need anyone fighting his battles.
  • neil knows this, but that doesnt mean he has the self control to stop himself when some asshole makes a comment about andrew 
  • neil can deal with comments about himself for the most part, but when someone insults his family, theyre dead.
  • it was completely out of the blue too because neil was just walking to the tower with matt and dan
  • he was wearing andrew’s exy jacket that day by mistake, but he wasnt complaining
  • some guy he recognized from the football team passing them was complaining though
  • he bumps into neils shoulder, and neil doesnt even need to turn around to know the guy is facing him
  • he can feel matt step a little closer to him, almost asking him to leave it, but neil is nothing if not an instigator, and it was technically the football player who started it
  • “you a fag, josten?”
  • he wasnt sure how this guy knew his name bc neil sure as hell didnt know his, but neils silence did nothing but give him more time to keep talking
  • “i always thought andrew, a little thing like that probably begs to be fucked.”
  • neil was fine with this guy insulting him, but bringing andrew into this was not acceptable
  • especially considering what he said
  • neil could feel the gazes of matt and dan on him, but he wasnt about to let this happen, and he knew they werent about to hold him back
  • the guy wasn’t much taller than him, so it wasnt hard for neil to punch him in the nose. he knew if he hit him again, it would be broken, and he didnt want to deal with the consequences, so neil settled for kicking in the guys legs and bringing him to his knees
  • neil held a hand around his throat and leans toward him, ignoring the blood from the guy’s nose, dripping over his wrist
  • “if you ever talk to or about andrew or me again, i promise you you’ll regret it. i know too many ways to draw out your death for hours and make it look like an accident, and i wont hesitate to do so if i hear your voice again. take your pick.”
  • neil let go of the guys neck, and turned around to keep walking toward the tower. he wasnt sure when matt and dan caught up to him, but he knew that the news of his encounter had traveled fast within the dorms. 
  • once they had gotten back, it was barely ten minutes before they started hushing their conversations when neil walked into the room
  • he wasnt going to talk about it
  • neil wasnt proud of it bc yes, he defended andrew, and hed do it again in a heartbeat, but that wasnt neil josten
  • that was nathaniel wesninski
  • later that night, andrew asks if its true
  • neil knows hes not talking about the fight, but rather neil knowing how to kill that guy and not hesitating to do it for andrew
  • neil doesnt answer verbally
  • thats all the answer andrew needs
as promised: the fetishism callout post!

let me just begin by saying there's nothing wrong with finding any of the cast members attractive. this is an EXTREMELY attractive cast. everyone is so FINE I bet even the folks backstage who we don't see are gorgeous. Its okay to be sexually attracted to them too! We've all made posts professing our love to the cast, which is perfectly fine!! Right now you're looking at Leslie Odom Jr's fiancé! we good!!

but ya see there's a big difference between "anthony ramos is my sweet freckled child <333" and "I want anthony to shove his #thicc cock inside of me and ten other cast members at the same time but also freckles uwu"

You see the difference right?? Right??????

I don't have anything against writing smut about the characters (who, yes, are technically real people but they've been dead for literal centuries ok. Let it go) but it just gets weird REEAAAAL fast when u say the same thing about musical!John Laurens and the real live human being Anthony Ramos. It gets even weirder when u talk about the cast members in this way in relations to each other??? Shipping real people in a serious, unironic way is just a lil :/// to me (I say "serious, unironic way" bc I do write rpf with my friend but its a Huge Joke™ and nonsexual and come on I don't actually ship sandra bullock and steve harvey together ok). I mean Anthony is quite frankly dating Jasmine Cephas Jones.....it's a legitimate fact. There are pictures. It's on Wikipedia. They're in LOVE and its PRECIOUS and they're gonna get MARRIED eventually so why tf r yall writing about him bottoming for Lin????????

And Lin!!! He has a beautiful WIFE AND SON. You can speculate about his sexuality, NOT PUBLICLY BC HE SEES THINGS, but that's fine if u honestly must??? (although he tweeted that he was straight once during his "grease live" livetweeting so......like......). U can talk about how cute he and jonathan groff are! But y'all don't stop there do u? Bc one second ur talkin about them being cute and then a sentence later it's all "and then he SUCKED his BIG FAT DICK clean off!!!!!! He was dickless!!!! While wearing their costumes!!!!!!!!!! He choked on the full decapitated dick!!!!!"

That shit ain't cute.

So, now that u finally realize that (hopefully), we can get to the real nitty mcfreaking gritty. this part is primarily for white fans but it technically applies to anyone who is not specifically latinx and/or black jsyk:

So even before the whole "baby girl" thing started, I saw quite a few of y'all calling Anthony and Lin "papi" which like.....why should I even have to tell you why this is wrong. If you're not latinx, DON'T USE THE WORD "PAPI", especially since most of y'all are using it in a sexual context. You went ahead and took an innocent word, and turned it into a way to sexualize your faves who just so happen to be latinx. It just ain't right, and its also?? weird??? Let me put it this way, I'm black but not jewish so thatd be like me calling daveed "bubbe". Or something. Either way see how that'd be gross and offensive? You're taking a part of them, a huge part of them, their culture, and turning it into something exotic and sexual. That, my friends, is fetishism.

Another good example of this is the whole "baby girl/boy" n "papa" thing. Y'all rly went ahead and took an cute nickname and rolled RIGHT with it lmao. @alexandralexander explained it beautifully in this post, but basically "papa" (and "mama") is a cute lil way of older folks to regard ppl who are younger than them. It's a caribbean thing, aka something yall just won't get. Idk what the whiter equivalent would be, idk like ur grandad calling u "big guy" or something??? Who knows. Just kno that its NOT SEXUAL IN ANYWAY LIKE WTF WHY DID Y'ALL MAKE THAT A DADDY KINK THING. WHY CAN NOTHING BE SACRED WITH YOU GUYS. Best believe when my grandparents call my brother "papa" they mean it in an endearing way. And that's how Lin meant it? I don't see how it could have been construed any other way??

As for the baby girl/boy thing, in all the times I've been called/heard someone else call someone baby girl, it was NOT sexual. It can be used that way, but it was n o t in this context. Again, its a cultural thing i guess. And with "baby boy", yall do remember that anthony plays lin's son in this show right. okay, just checking.

But forreal. what is wrong wit u guys. I told myself I wasn't gonna kinkshame nobody but its Time, it rly and truly is Time.

One last point I want to make (as if this isn't long enough already) is the language with which u talk about the cast too. This was said rly well in several posts especially this one that uses that tags ppl tend to use, but i’m gonna elaborate on it a little. I just want to know right now why Anthony (or our lighter skinned and SURE AS HELL THE WHITE cast members) is "sweet precious sunflower child cinnamon biscuit roll wheatgrass turkish delight with sprinkles or some other corny shit <333" while daveed is AUTOMATICALLY "raw me zaddy" THE FUCK??? Why we gotta go STRAAIGGHTT to zaddy-basis with daveed??? Why do I see y'all talking about his dick size???? Y'all dont do that from the get-go for the lighter skinned members (which is sad bc daveed is already a certified Lightskint™ so that's rly saying something)?? Why can't black actors (and characters) ever be seen as "sweet turnip bumblebees (???)" instead of either being put on an inhuman pedestal where it's "STEP ON ME BAD BITCH QUEEN" or sexualized with some "CHOKE ME YOU COCKSLUT" ???? Ask yourselves why y'all do that. I'll wait. 
And y'all don't even TALK about oak (as a quick sidenote okieriete is not that hard of a name to pronounce y'all just don't care to try. It sounds exactly like its spelled) but tbh I don't rly want u to bc you'd just sexualize him as well. Plus that means more for me cause I'm engaged to him too :) remember to save the date!!
This was all over the place and idk if I even said what I was trying to say but whatever. I guess what I'm trying to say is (and this is to white fans) you're stanning a thing full of people of color. im assuming that this is probably the first thing that youve been rly into that has included exclusively people of color. Please just be mindful of the way you talk about them. There's a history of you exotifying and sexualizing poc to the point that historically, people have been killed for??? There's a history behind y'all calling latinx folks "papi" and automatically assuming black folks got a big dick ok lmao. At the end of the day, the way you talk about them shows that you don't rly respect them as much as you claim to do??? Idk I wish I had made notes about this bc it sounded waaaaaaayyy better in my head but! Whatever it's still lit. s/o to @aaronsburrr for assistance! 
Sassy Gay Friend Starters (PT.1)
  • ROMEO & JULIET:
  • "What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?"
  • "I love him/her."
  • "You love him/her? You met him/her Sunday."
  • "Slow down, crazy. Slow down."
  • "Love makes you crazy."
  • "Romeo, Romeo? Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
  • "Translation: desperate. Desperate. I am really desperate."
  • "Are there any stalkers on my grounds?"
  • "Save it, Patty Hearst."
  • "I'm not buying any Stockholm Syndrome today, thank you."
  • "I'm a grown woman/man."
  • "I think you're fourteen and you're an idiot."
  • "Look at your life. Look at your choices."
  • "You big slut! Good for you!"
  • "C'mon, you stupid bitch."
  • "She/he's a stupid bitch."
  • OTHELLO:
  • "___ has ordered me to bed."
  • "Yeah, well, he/she's also ordered a pillow at Bed, Bath & Beyond that's good for smothering."
  • "Why would he/she do that?"
  • "I have been faithful to him/her."
  • "I know that, and you know that."
  • "We gotta go."
  • "Some guy/girl ends up with your handkerchief so your husband/wife gets to murder you?"
  • "Does that mean I had sex with him/her? No."
  • "Why are you still in the bed?"
  • "He/she said I was false as hell."
  • EVE:
  • "This is a setup, but you don't realize it because your brain is made out of rib."
  • "No, God would never do that."
  • "This can't be paradise, okay?"
  • "God planned this world in seven days."
  • "So what will happen if I eat the apple?"
  • "He/she's gonna punish you."
  • "But really, he/she made vaginas too small."
  • "Step away from the carbohydrates."
  • "It sounds like a terrible rap name."
  • "Let's get you some clothes."
  • "No, he/she's fine."
  • THE GIVING TREE:
  • "It's not an abusive relationship!"
  • "He/she had a chainsaw!"
  • "He/she loved me!"
  • "First of all: gross."
  • "Did he/she say he/she was busy, and then cut you like a bitch?"
  • "Yeah, and the guy from Silence of the Lambs needed a fat girl's skin to make a flesh suit."
  • "This is turning into a Snuff film!"
  • "Gross, no!"
  • "I'm setting you up with a real nice guy/girl."
  • "Oh... that's a little too much."
  • "No, that sounds nice."
  • "And now she/he's in love... with a recluse."
  • GREAT EXPECTATIONS:
  • "It is time for some greater expectations!"
  • "And can I just say -- enough!"
  • "Take off the dress."
  • "Take a bath."
  • "P.S., it's not vintage if you've been wearing it since it wasn't."
  • "Big deal, it happens."
  • "I will not move on!"
  • "I will have my revenge."
  • "You don't adopt a baby to hurt men/women!"
  • "We need a new plan for you."
  • "And what's with all the clocks?"
  • "Why do you want to remember the worst moment of your life?"
  • "'Ew' is right."
  • "And I've been so cruel."
  • "You have been a total dick."
  • "Flip it, tip it, sip it."
  • "What is this called?"
  • "Because they're paying me."
  • BLACK SWAN:
  • "Is this heaven?"
  • "It's the hospital."
  • "What, what, what were you doing?"
  • "I wanted to kill myself!"
  • "It's ballet! Ballet!"
  • "You have done nothing perfectly!"
  • "Stop chopping people's tongues when you kiss them!"
  • "P.S., your technique is amazing."
  • "Don't pick at your finger!"
  • "Buy some nail clippers!"
  • "I did it with a girl/guy!"
  • "You're missing the point."
  • "I was perfect."
  • "I'm sorry I was a stupid bitch."
  • "You're a crazy bitch."
This is 💯% me when my BF be on some shit 🌝
  • Guy: You look so beautiful tonight.
  • Girl: Do I?
  • Guy: Yes, you look perfect.
  • Girl: Do you mean it?
  • Guy: Absolutely. You're my best friend, and my inspiration. You're a shining light in the dark abyss that is life. You're-
  • Other Girl: *crawls out of the bushes* Hey guys.
  • Guy: Who are you?
  • Other Girl: *shrugs* I just woke up in the bushes. Are you guys here to see the super ultra moon?
  • Girl: Excuse me, but we came here to have a private moment. No offense, but you're kind of ruining it.
  • Other Girl: Oh, sorry! Haha, I'm such a goober. I'll leave you two to your business. Bow-chika-wow-wow. *winks and runs to a tree across from them where she stares at them with a smile on her face*
  • Guy: I think we should go, honey.
  • Girl: I agree.
  • *the guy and the girl wander through the park seemingly unable to find their way out*
  • Guy: Something is seriously wrong. The park was never this big.
  • Girl: I'm sure we're just a bit lost, hon.
  • Guy: How the hell can we be lost? It's just the park. We've been walking in the same direction for so long. We can see buildings across the street right there, but we just don't get any closer to them.
  • Other Girl: *jumps out of nearby bushes* HEY GUYS!
  • Girl: AIIIIIEEEEEEE!
  • Guy: You startled my girlfriend, you idiot.
  • Other Girl: Hehe, sorry! I was just excited to see you two again.
  • Girl: Maybe you can help us. We can't seem to find our way out of the park. Perhaps you'll be able to give us some directions.
  • Other Girl: Oh, you can't leave. Not while that big gay moon is up in the sky. You're stuck here for good.
  • Guy: You're just messing with us.
  • Other Girl: Nope. I've been here for... *counts her fingers* three-hundred years maybe.
  • Girl: If you were stuck here for three-hundred years, then why are you wearing modern clothes?
  • Other Girl: The moon doesn't run on human time, you goober. In the real world, I've probably been gone for like a year tops maybe. But here, time passes much slower and you never age. So it has probably been like three-hundred years.
  • Guy: That's is just a bunch of nonsense. Leave us alone, you freak.
  • Other Girl: Hey, I'm just trying to help out, macho dude. *tosses a sharp rock at the guy* You guys are lucky, though. I heard a rumor that if two lovers enters the moon's gaze, they can escape. One lover just has to kill the other.
  • Girl: *gasps* Are you actually suggesting that we try to kill one another?
  • Other Girl: Hey, I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just telling you what I heard. I could care less about what you goobers get up too. I'm outtie! *runs off*
  • Guy: She's totally full of shit.
  • Girl: You think so?
  • Guy: I know so. Freaks like her are the worst. Come on, honey. We'll be fine.
  • *twenty long moon years later*
  • Girl: *crawls into tiny tree bark fort* I'm home with dinner, hon.
  • Guy: *stops playing with his leaf dolls* Dinner, yes! What'd you get?
  • Girl: Crab apples and pine cones.
  • Guy: But, I hate crab apples and pine cones. We eat them every day.
  • Girl: Well, that's all there is to eat.
  • Guy: What about the berries? I liked the berries.
  • Girl: I couldn't find any berries.
  • Guy: You found some berries just a few days ago.
  • Girl: That was like six years ago!
  • Guy: Sorry, I haven't been keeping track of the time. Every single day here is exactly the same. Couldn't you just go the extra mile and find some berries for me?
  • Girl: Listen, I had to bust my ass just to find these apples and pine cones. Beggars can't be choosers. Be grateful that I found anything.
  • Guy: Beggar? I'm not a beggar, I'm your husband!
  • Girl: Whoa! When did you become my husband?
  • Guy: We've been together for so many years!
  • Girl: And in that time, we've never gotten married. We haven't taken any vows.
  • Guy: Listen, after being together for so long, we're basically married.
  • Girl: Maybe I'd consider us a married couple if you ever pulled your own weight. You don't do anything! I find the food, I repair the fort, I do everything important!
  • Guy: You're being unfair. I've done things. I came up with the idea for the fort.
  • Girl: Yeah, twenty years ago, and guess who actually built the thing? Me! All you do is play with your stupid dolls!
  • Guy: *gasps* They are not stupid! You're horrible!
  • Girl: Oh, I can't stand you! *grabs the sharp rock and bashes the guy over his head*
  • Guy: Stop! You're hurting me!
  • Girl: *bashes the guy until he stops moving*
  • Girl: *drags the guy's dead body out into the moonlight* I killed him! I did it, see! Now let me go, you stupid moon!
  • Moon: *remains large, gay, and silent*
  • Girl: Come on! Do something!
  • Other Girl: *jumps out of the bushes* Yo, long time no see- HOLY SHIT! You killed that guy!
  • Girl: Yes. He was unbearable. I did it so I can escape. Why isn't it working?
  • Other Girl: Huh?
  • Girl: You told us way back when that if you kill your lover, you can escape the park.
  • Other Girl: Oh, that? I was fucking with you. The moon never lets anyone go. You're here forever.
  • Girl: You were lying!? B-But why would even lie about something like that...
  • Other Girl: Hey, sorry. Being stuck in this place for years on end makes you kind of apathetic about everything. But hey, life goes on, hehe, forever! Unless someone bashes your head in with a rock, I guess. See ya, you dumb goober! *runs off*
  • Girl: *shakes the guy's corpse* Hey, please wake up. I don't want to be here all alone. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. Please just wake up... please...
Afro Samurai Inspired RP Starters
  • <p> <b><b></b> </b> "Challenge me, when you're ready to duel a god."<p/><b></b> "I've waited a long time for this."<p/><b></b> "That a motherfuckin' RPG?"<p/><b></b> "When you fight to kill, finish the job."<p/><b></b> "I see you wear one of the headbands of legend that leads to godhood."<p/><b></b> "Don't fight this fucker! He got arrows and grenades and shit. You ain't got no chance dude!"<p/><b></b> "You want another one? On his tab?"<p/><b></b> "My aim is only to move forward."<p/><b></b> "There's something strange still out there."<p/><b></b> "If it's not too much trouble, will you stay and watch the fireworks with me?"<p/><b></b> "You must break the chain. Only then will we stay free of this horrible cycle."<p/><b></b> "Ew! Taste like crack!"<p/><b></b> "If Heaven could be bottled up, it just might taste like my lemonade."<p/><b></b> "C'mon now confess. You wanna hit that booty!"<p/><b></b> "You fucking whore! This is the price you pay for your betrayal."<p/><b></b> "Damn shame ain't it? Just when you start gettin' your groove on, shit always gotta get killed, burned down, whatever."<p/><b></b> "Man, you really are a cold blooded motherfucker."<p/><b></b> "He's a demon machine with special surprise on the inside."<p/><b></b> "Does one question faith?"<p/><b></b> "Observe and I will make you a believer."<p/><b></b> "Hey, he tryna copy you...wait, he is you!"<p/><b></b> "What happens when your reflection moves faster than you?"<p/><b></b> "It's like me watching Afro watchin' Afro fightin' Afro or something!"<p/><b></b> "We shall finally see the wrath of hell's fire turn up on itself."<p/><b></b> "Dammit Brother! This the kind of shit I will not tolerate!"<p/><b></b> "I think he blew his load."<p/><b></b> "Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder."<p/><b></b> "Come to think of it, I can't take a warrior with such stupid hair seriously."<p/><b></b> "Okay, you and I are gonna talk about this later, but first I gotta save your dumb ass."<p/><b></b> "Dang, why you gotta be so morbid?"<p/><b></b> "You chose revenge over our Master! Over us! We're your family!"<p/><b></b> "Damn. There goes the neighborhood."<p/><b></b> "Bleed! Suffer as I have!"<p/><b></b> "I want him hurt! I want him crippled! He'll bleed for all the pain he's caused!"<p/><b></b> "My tears have never stopped falling since that day."<p/><b></b> "Come on man, get that damn look off your face."<p/><b></b> "You became what you are because you stuck to your damn convictions, dawg."<p/><b></b> "Wipe that motherfucker. Even if he is your old pal."<p/><b></b> "You just don't listen to people, do you?"<p/><b></b> "Aw man, it was the bomb hanging out with you."<p/><b></b> "I sweat with anticipation for your kill. Can you smell me?"<p/><b></b> "You've grown into a fine killer, but you're still vulnerable."<p/><b></b> "I saw you kill your childhood sword buddy."<p/><b></b> "Don't you know that absolute power leads to ultimate peace?"<p/><b></b> "It is time for Man to become God where God has failed."<p/><b></b> "I'm finally becoming God."<p/><b></b> "Only you and I can stomach this truth."<p/><b></b> "You will only die again, my friend."<p/><p/></p>