i don't know what that is but his face kills me

Nicole Caught in the Crossfire During Earp Sister Arguments:
  • *Waverly and Wynonna are arguing just to see who's better in typical sibling fashion*
  • Wynonna: "Oh yeah? Well, your girlfriend called <i>my</i> ass top-shelf."
  • Waverly: "What!? She did not."
  • Wynonna: *Smirks* "Call her."
  • Waverly: *Pulls out phone and puts Nicole on speaker* "Hey Nicole! Is it true that you said Wynonna's ass was top shelf?"
  • Nicole (with an "oh shit" expression on her face): *Contemplates lying, but realizes she isn't physically able to lie to Waverly* "Uh.. ye- yeah."
  • Wynonna: *Whispers* "Ha! Told you so."
  • Nicole: "BUT THAT WAS WAY BEFORE WE STARTED DATING AND ALSO I TAKE THAT BACK SHE'S DEMOTED TO SECOND SHELF BECAUSE YOU'RE TOP SHELF NOW"
  • Wynonna: *Gasps* *Grabs phone* "WHAT? This is such a beTRAYAL HAUGHT I'M COMING FOR YOU"
  • Nicole: "Oh um...hi..Wynonna. I didn't know you were there. Um...WAVERLY PLEASE TRY TO NOT LET HER KILL ME TEXT ME LATER BYEEEEEE." *hangs up*
  • Waverly: "Well I think I win this round. Now I gotta go run some errands, so please don't kill Nicole while I'm gone."
  • ~~~~~~~An Hour Later~~~~~~
  • Waverly: *Goes to Nicole's house and hears screaming coming from inside*
  • Waverly: "Oh no Wynonna you better not be in there." *Opens door*
  • Wynonna: *Chasing Nicole around, hitting her with a pillow, and yelling* "I THOUGHT WE HAD A BROMANCE YOU TRAITOR. MY ASS WILL ALWAYS BE TOP SHELF"

some fox hcs bc i’m sick and it’s all i’ve been thinking about:

  • when they have movie nights, allison and matt have a competition to see who can catch more popcorn in their mouths. allison always wins so matt just throws popcorn at her without even letting her catch it
  • they all go team grocery shopping after finding out neil has never had at least 50% of the junk food they all grew up on
  • renee takes up crocheting and makes them all fox print patterned socks. they wear them every movie night(even andrew)
  • nicky gets homesick sometimes and when he does he makes a lot of the traditional dishes his mom would and the foxes eat all of it even though they literally saw nicky chopping raw jalapenos earlier
  • allison and dan are real housewives fanatics and they will kill a man to get to the tv. kevin still has the scars on his arm from where allison nearly clawed his arm off for trying to change the tv
  • the foxes do charity dog washing at a nearby pet shelter and neil literally almost gets smothered by the biggest dog there and that’s when the foxes find out neil is the biggest dog magnet
  • nicky makes the mistake of teaching andrew to bake and he never leaves the kitchen. but the tower always smells like vanilla so that’s a bonus
  • neil cannot cook for shit and i’m standing by this until i die. he tried making cup noodles in the dorm microwave and matt came back to a small fire and a calm neil just watching the fire blaze
  • neil twists his ankle falling down some stairs and matt uses this as an excuse to bridal carry him everywhere
  • “do i even weigh anything to you?”  “no, it’s like holding a couple of grapes.”
  • allison and neil take exactly 5 hours every saturday to go shopping, get facials, gossip. allison has video proof of neil sitting on a lounge chair with his whole face covered in a cucumber face mask, sipping lemon water, and getting his nails done. he looks right into her camera and in the most deadpan voice says “ah yes, the bourgeoisie.” the video ends with allison snickering and dropping her phone 
  • whenever anyone is late to practice they have to go on a run with neil and every time they fall behind is a lap they have to do at the next practice. no one is late again after kevin comes back from a run and passes the fuck out
  • the foxes went to disney world once and lost andrew. they don’t speak of it ever again. 
  • matt when asked by some sexist reporter why he listens to what the girls tell him to do: dan’s my girlfriend, renee could kill me, and allison has enough dirt on me to ruin my life until i die. also i respect them more than your crusty ass so that’s there as well. next question?
  • (matt isn’t allowed to do press duty for the next week after that)
  • kevin, five drinks in and nearing tipsy: if renee ever became a villian we’d all be screwed
  • the rest of the foxes except for renee and andrew: AMEN
  • casual cheek kisses are a thing among the foxes but no one kisses neil around andrew unless they want to lose a toe
  • it isn’t a question if whether or not a drunk kevin has acidentally called andrew “aaron”, it’s whether or not kevin actually made it out alive
  • nicky matt, and neil all have a shared exasperation for White People Food
  • neil and renee have been banned from nearly evershopping center within 50 miles of palmetto bc they wouldn’t stop throwing the knives to test how sharp they were
  • aaron and andrew play pokemon against each other(even tho andrew is more partial to acnl) and andrew manages to beat aaron’s entire team with just a jigglypuff and no one knows how he did it
  • once neil got really drunk and before he went to bed he kissed everyone’s foreheads(aaron left right after neil kissed renee’s) like his mom used to do to him before she went to sleep and it left everyone in shock

anonymous asked:

no but like you do know that even though tony realized that bucky was innocent he still tried to murder him and would have if steve hadn't been there to stop him? the russos confirmed it. i just don't get it how someone can claim to love a character but still support the person who almost murdered said character in cold blood and still hasn't shown any indication that he's sorry for his actions.

Okay, I’m glad you asked this because it gives me a reason to explain my feelings about the Act 3 fight in Civil War. Heads up for anyone reading this that this is gonna be a pretty long post with a lot of visual evidence. 

There’s several major points to the final fight scene:

  1. Had the fight continued, would Tony have killed Bucky?
  2. Understanding Tony’s reaction both from the perspective of grief and also from the perspective of trauma.
  3. Is this fight really about Bucky?

To fully understand the final scene, I think we have to look at all three of these. First and foremost - would Tony have actually killed Bucky?

So, the first several minutes of the fight, Tony hits Steve, knocking to the floor, and restrains him. His attention is clearly focused on Bucky who he engages in a fight. The fight continues for several seconds/minutes, until this important moment:

Tony: Do you even remember them?
Bucky: I remember all of them.

Here, Tony has Bucky in a chokehold. Cap is incapacitated somewhere else. Tony could easily snap Bucky’s neck right here, yet he pauses and asks him about his parents. Tony then flies down, still holding Bucky and Cap intercepts them mid-air:

Several things to point out: if Tony was about to kill Bucky, why didn’t he do it just then? They all fall down, Bucky falling onto another platform, Tony and Steve falling to the floor, with Steve rolling forwards. This is an important moment - from here on now the action switches. Tony’s attention is now fixed on Steve solely, not Bucky. The two begin to fight.

Bucky joins in and we have the well known Bucky, Steve and Tony choreography. Then Tony shoots a repulsor beam at Steve, knocking him back, and Bucky attacks Tony, attempts to rip out the reactor at which point Tony’s reactor fires a repulsor beam and Bucky’s arm is ripped off from the blast.

Despite this, Tony doesn’t attempt to use his repulsor, despite having an arm free:

Instead he tries to pry Bucky’s arm away from the reactor. But Bucky is too strong. I’ve rewatched the scene several times and Tony doesn’t actually fire a repulsor with his arm. Instead the reactor begins to glow:

Before it shoots out a beam:

This is also important as it means the reactor has a failsafe in the case of someone trying to remove it. 

If Tony wanted to hurt Bucky why didn’t he fire a repulsor from his arm straight into Bucky’s face? Why did he attempt to simply pry Bucky’s hand away? I don’t think he intentionally tried to shoot Bucky’s arm off, instead the reactor has a failsafe and released a repulsor and since Bucky had his arm on the reactor it hit him straight in the arm, causing it to be ripped off from the force.

Once Bucky loses his arm, then Tony hits him with a repulsor in the back which yes, I admit wasn’t necessary and was awful. At this point Cap gets up and we get this iconic shot:

Steve and Tony begin to fight and Steve has the upper hand, Tony is cornered against the wall and has no way of fighting against Steve:

At this point Tony has FRIDAY analyse Cap’s fight pattern and use it against him. Which leads to this point of the fight:

Tony punches Steve several times while he kneels, Bucky’s body behind him. Then he grabs him, and tosses him away from Bucky:

Tony: Stay down. Final warning.

The camera pans to a wide shot, and this, this moment is visually INTEGRAL to this entire fight. Wide shots are intended to show the audience the entire scene, they focus on everything as a whole, revealing to the audience what is going on.

That’s why this shot is so important. Bucky is on the floor, incapable of protecting himself. Steve is several feet away from Bucky and Tony is in between the two. Tony could easily turn around and kill Bucky - so why doesn’t he? The camera pans to this, revealing to us that Bucky (and Steve) are completely vulnurable - note even the visual difference between Tony, standing up, and Bucky and Steve, both on the floor. Here, Tony is solely in control. Yet he issues Cap a warning, and completely ignores Bucky.

This also majorly answers the third point as it keys the audience in completely that at the core, this is not a fight about Bucky. It solidifies the idea that this is not a fight between Bucky and Tony, but a fight between Steve and Tony. 

Bucky attempts to intervene as Tony raises his reactor - presumably to hurt Cap - at which point Tony kicks him in the face. Steve lifts Tony and throws him to the floor where he begins to hit him over and over. He rips off Tony’s helmet and raises the shield. Close shots prevent us from seeing what is going on, until we see this:

Visually we expect Steve to kill Tony. He doesn’t. Again, this is very important to the narrative as it mirrors Tony’s attempt to kill Bucky. 

Tony attacks Bucky. 

Steve attacks Tony.

Tony looks like he might kill Bucky. We never find out if he really would as the fight shifts, but it seems he wouldn’t have actually gone through it.

Steve looks like he is about to kill Tony. He doesn’t.

The two practically mirror each other - the difference is we actually see Steve on the verge of killing Tony, only for him to choose not to. The audience knows then, that no matter how hurt or angry they are, no matter how broken, how furious, how much they fight each other, that ultimately at heart, they are not people who would kill each other - at least in my personal opinion. Steve’s attempt to kill Tony, only for him not to, parallels Tony’s attempt to kill Bucky, only to choose not to - in my personal opinion. 

I know that I’ve mainly focused on the first and third point. The second point is also important, in understanding Tony’s reaction. Firstly, someone seeing someone’s murder is highly unsettling to any human being. Tony seeing his parents murdered, hearing them being murdered, is very much the equivalent of someone being exposed to footage of a shooting - it is highly traumatic to witness that type of violence, no matter what it is, and many people actually have to get therapy for this. 

Tony’s reaction is also heightened though because what he is witnessing is not strangers, but his own parents being murdered - he is shown his father’s face being caved in, and his mother begging for her husband as she is strangled to death. So not only is Tony exposed to something extremely violent, upsetting and triggering, but it is also done on a personal level to him. Does that mean what he did was right? No. Attacking Bucky was completely wrong, of course. But is it understandable? Yes, in my personal opinion. 

Your parent’s death is not something you get over. Now I understand that the difference is that Bucky was brainwashed and made to do what he did. I understand that Bucky is as much a victim as Maria or Howard in this situation completely. But grief and trauma don’t work logically - Tony does not have the time to process what he just saw, he lashes out. 

And in the end, despite the fact that he has the chance to kill Bucky, he doesn’t. His focus shifts to Steve.

As to what the writers/directors say, I don’t particularly trust what the writers or the producers say - they are the same people who thought it was normal to have Steve kiss Sharon only 48 hours after Peggy died, so their opinion is not something I trust. Plus, that perspective clashes with the perspective of the stunt choreographer (I think) who says that Tony aims to incapacitate, not harm, throughout the movie.

I don’t in any way think that what Tony did was “right” - but I understand why he did it. If we can understand Steve for nearly trying to kill Tony, if we can understand T’Challa for several times attempting to kill Bucky (note that T’Challa specifically stated that he “will kill Bucky himself”, so there is no doubt as to his intentions), then we can understand Tony’s attempt too. If you decide to continue to dislike Tony for attempting to kill Bucky, then I hope you are prepared to dislike T’Challa too.

[Note: Please do not comment on this post as to how Tony and T’Challa’s cases differ. Canon facts are that T’Challa, like Tony, also attempts to kill Bucky and states his intentions himself: “I’ll kill him myself, Ms. Romanoff”. What he does is premeditated.]

an incomplete list of lines in aftg that will always fuck me up

“Did you know I’ve never been skiing?”

“I told her what would happen if she raised her hand again. She had no right to look so surprised.”

“His father. Your coach.”

“Who said ‘please’ that made you hate the word so much?” “I did.” / “I was seven,” Andrew said. “I believed him.”

“If it means losing you, then no.”

“Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love. Tell me this is natural.”

“Good,” Neil said quietly. “So now you understand why Andrew killed your mother.”

“Do you honestly think that if I wanted to kill someone, whether it was myself or someone else, that I would fail so spectacularly at it so many times?”

“Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”

“I’m tired of being nothing.”

“Would it kill you to let something in?” “It almost did last time.”

“Neil? Are you all right?” Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. “No. No, I’m not.”

“Thank you,” he finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were amazing.”

“Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay.”

“You are a Fox,” Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was.

“Wait, he chose Neil over you? That sounds a little serious for a fling, don’t you–” Nicky glanced at Neil’s blank face and faltered. “News to you too, huh?”

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”

“I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”

“Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go.

Hamilton Characters as ‘My Immortal Quotes’

Alexander: “OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.”

Lafayette: “Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them.”

Mulligan: “STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!”

Laurens: “I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)”

Burr: "If thou doth not kill him, then I shall kill him anyways!”

Eliza: “He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”

Angelica:  "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!“

Madison: “”.” he said.”

Jefferson: He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.”

Washington: “You dunderheads!1111111111” screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.”

Peggy: (AN: if u don’t know who she is gat da hell out of here!)

Phillip: “They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it”

Maria: “Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful?” I shouted angrily.

King George lll: “I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face.”

anonymous asked:

Can you improve my outlook on life and write a very drunk draco clinging to Harry please?

(LOL, I love the way you phrased that and also, I love drunk Draco.)

Potter sat there, leaning back in the booth with his arm slung across the back of the faux-leather seat, his shoulders shaking as he threw his head back and laughed at something the Weasel said. Granger shook her head with a smile of fond exasperation and leaned up to kiss her husband’s cheek. The weird blonde (”Loony Lovegood,” his booze-soaked brain provided) was waving her wand over the she-Weasel’s head in circles - ‘cause that’s normal behaviour for her.

Draco supposed that the thought of going over there ought to feel intimidating - he was completely outnumbered. But perhaps it was because of the eight or so shots of tequila Pansy had dared him into guzzling, or because he was randy as fuck.

Or because he’d just stood there hiding behind the cloak stand by the door and gazing at Potter like a lovesick halfwit far too long - he was no coward. Not anymore.

So he squared his shoulders and marched across the bar, tripping only twice, the second time because of that swaying oaf who’d nearly knocked him over.

Potter blinked up at him with his mouth slightly open.

“Potter.” Draco felt vaguely triumphant that his voice came out steady and calm - and Potter’s form was only very slightly blurry. “Potter,” he repeated, blinking slowly.

“Malfoy,” Potter replied cautiously, one eyebrow sliding up the scarred forehead. “What’re you doing here?”

“I can be here if I want to be here ‘cause I want to be here–” Draco was being very loud - his ears rang a little. Potter scrambled out of his seat, throwing a hasty glance at his friends before coming up to Draco and grabbing his elbow hard. Draco scowled around at the group - Weasley was scowling back, Granger looked thoughtful, she-Weasley looked completely bewildered and Loony, well Loony hadn’t noticed him yet; she was peering into she-Weasley’s ear as though she’d lost something in there.

Potter dragged him away a few paces. “What the hell?”

Draco tried to yank his arm out of his grip but nearly ended up overbalancing and falling onto his arse instead - Potter’s grip tightened.

“Let me go!” Draco slurred, stepping closer to Potter.

“What’re you doing here?” Potter repeated softly.

“I like you,” Draco proclaimed boldly. “I’ve always liked you. You never noticed. You have terrible eyesight.”

Potter pursed his lips, a faint line appearing between his thick brows. “I know I do,” he said, indicating to his smudged glasses.

“I like you,” Draco said once more, his voice decidedly breathy now - ugh. He stepped closer and, oh Merlin, rubbed their noses together. “So much,” he sighed, pressing their cheeks together for a swift second.

“Oh?” Potter didn’t seem put out at all. After staring steadily at him with his stupid green eyes twinkling merrily, Potter asked, “What d’you want, Draco?”

“To go home with you.” Oh shit, he was going to kill Pansy.

Potter simply continued to twinkle at him. “Well, I’m not going to say no to that,” he said very seriously, finally releasing Draco’s elbow to slide both his arms around Draco’s waist and tug him closer.

Draco gasped as he was pressed flush against Potter. He could caught a whiff of spicy aftershave, Firewhiskey and mint; he pushed both hands into the mess on Potter’s head and leaned forward to whisper, “I want you to fuck me.” He pressed his face into the crook of Potter’s neck.

Potter’s arms tightened, the world closed in around him until he was being squeezed almost to the point of pain, and then he was being pulled through dense blackness.


Everything ached. His stomach ached, his back ached, his toenails ached - his eyelashes ached. His head felt like it had exploded and had been put back together before exploding again; even his hair hurt.

He was too close to the sun, his retinas were on fire. The sheets below him were softer than a cloud and smelt pleasantly flowery - his stomach twisted.

He kicked himself out of bed, fell over onto his hands and knees and then half-crawled, half-ran to the bathroom until he was heaving into the toilet. It was another ten minutes before he was able to make himself stand, piss, gargle with half a bottle of mouthwash and wash his face - which also hurt.

Clad only in his boxers he stumbled through the house, following the horrible sound quality of the Wireless and the utterly heavenly scent of fresh coffee.

“Coffee!” he croaked, throwing himself into a chair so heavily that he slipped off the polished wood and landed on his bum. Potter turned around, a spatula with a bright red handle in one hand, took one look at him and nearly fell down laughing.

“Good morning!” he virtually screamed. Draco rested his cheek on the chair and groaned hoarsely, feebly pressing his hands to his ears.

“Coffee,” he whimpered. “What happened to my head? Coffee,” he pleaded once more.

Grinning widely, Potter poured him a large mugful. Shaking his head slightly as he walked over to the table, he set the steaming mug on the table, reached down and nearly lifted Draco off his feet as he helped him onto the chair he’d aimed for. “Let me guess - tequila?”

“I hate Pansy.” Draco wrapped both hands around his jade green mug with the gold polka dots and drew the drink of the Gods closer to him. “I hate tequila. I hate drinking. I hate bars. I hate going out.”

“But you like me.” Potter’s completely deadpan expression made Draco scowl - aarrgh, his face hurt dammit.

“What?” He took a huge gulp and moaned a long, gurgling moan as the gorgeous bitterness spread over his tongue.

“You like me,” Potter said again, leaning a hip against the counter with his arms crossed - he looked on the verge of another bout of laughter.

Draco stared blearily at him for several seconds before fuzzy memories started leaking into his aching brain. Then he let his head thump onto the table with another groan as Potter burst out laughing again.

“I hate everything!” Draco stated miserably. “Stop laughing at me!” His head throbbed when he raised his voice so he promptly shut up.

Potter, still laughing by the way, was loading up a plate with eggs, sausages and strips of bacon fried to crisp perfection - Draco’s stomach rolled and he clamped his mouth shut firmly as the food was set down before him.

Then Draco’s husband cupped his face with both hands, turned his face up and kissed him firmly. “I like you too,” Potter informed Draco.

“I will vomit on you,” Draco threatened.

Potter grinned, kissed his nose and went to get himself a plate of breakfast.


(Any good? ❤️)

I was at a con recently. And while looking at some of the art, I made a comment to a guy who had a collection of cat avengers prints that he was missing the best avenger. So he goes, ‘oh and who is that’ and I just kinda look sideways at him and say 'hawkeye, the only one you don’t have’. To wich he of course smirks and says 'is he really the best or is it just cause of jeremy renner?’

First of all… Jeremy Renner is a gorgeous human being and he is more than enough reason for Hawkeye to be awesome, so why the hell you got that smug look on your face like I’m just some random ass fangirl who don’t know shit about comics. I was fuckin dressed like Captain Marvel, 100% comic accurate costume thank you very much.

So my dad starts laughing cause he can see I got my 'fight me’ face on. And I proceed to list each and every reason why I have loved Hawkeye since waaaaay before the movies and why he gets even better with new movies and comics.

NUMBER ONE, he is the only fully human Avenger in every single story line.

To which of course I get 'well what about Black Widow’ well sir you must not know your comics very well because in the Earth-616 universe she has the Red Room version of the super soldier serum which gives her enhanced physical abilities as well as a very long lifespan.

Then comes the 'well Scott Lang is human’ well yeah but he’s got a mother FuCkiNG SUPER SUIT. What does Hawkeye have? Spandex or leather, not quite the same thing. And you take away that super suit, is Scott still a super hero? No he is in jail for being a thief. You take away Hawkeye ’ super sui… oh wait that’s right HE DON’T GOT ONE.

'But what about Black Panther he is human right?’ Do you know anything about comics dude? The dude eats a magical plant and is gifted his powers by the Wakandan Panther God and has enhanced speed, strength, agility, healing, reflexes, stamina, etc. NOT FULLY HUMAN he also is proclaimed King of the Dead and is granted the power and knowledge of past Black Panthers and gains the ability to control the dead… so awesome but still not human.

Hawkeye is 100% human 100% of the time (except a very brief moment when he borrowed pym particles just to help out on a mission) and still manages to keep up with super humans, gods and guys with fancy super suits.

NUMBER TWO, he is deaf, canononically.

'Well Daredevil is blind’ his accident enhanced his other senses… and not an Avenger… so your argument is not even relevant.

NUMBER THREE, he shoots a bow, usually a recurve, in battle with people that have magic and laser guns and other shit and he can shoot it with out even looking!

'But he has trick arrows’ wich are guaranteed to be weighted terribly and that weight changes depending on which arrow it is. So he not only has to compensate for the strange weight but he has to do it on the fly in the heat of battle for each individual arrow. Not to mention when he shoots multiple at once.

And come on, have you ever tried to shoot a bow and arrow, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of practice patients and skill. Especially to get as good as him.

NUMBER FOUR, I mean have you read the guys backstory? If you looked up tragic backstory in the dictionary, you would see a picture of Clint Barton. He was orphaned after his abusive father got into a car accident that killed his mother as well. Was sent to a children’s home, ran away to the circus, was trained by Swordsman and Trickshot who were not the best mentors, was betrayed and abandoned by Swordsman and his brother and left for dead, ended up severely injuring his brother, had to leave Trickshot, when he tried to do the hero thing he was mistaken for a criminal, was manipulated into trying to kill Iron Man, kept falling in love with women who didn’t love him back, left the Avengers at one point believing he was unwanted, was passed over because he was not super human, watched his brother die, was forced to leave the Avengers, had a bounty put on his right arm, lost former mentor Trickshot to cancer, split with his wife then watched her die saving him, sacrificed himself and came back, was almost assasinated, went to prison so the rest of his team could go free, was shot and conducted a suicide mission that saved the planet but killed him, lost his memory, was vanished into nothingness, doubted he was himself or even alive, faked his death, and that’s just the short list.

NUMBER FIVE, he ran the West Coast branch of the Avengers, as well as other treams.

NUMBER SIX, he took on the mantle of Captain America for a short time.

NUMBER SEVEN, Caw Caw Mother Fucker.

So yeah, suffice to say that I left the guy speechless surounded by his friends who were nodding along and adding in their own bits of info and laughing hysterically at him. I turned to walk away after that mic drop and heard him mumble, 'well I guess I’m making a cat hawkeye’

anonymous asked:

AU where Bitty and Jack both suddenly wake up, after having had a few years together, and find themselves in their beds on the morning of the day they met. Both remember everything that happened, but neither thinks the other does, so they both pretend not to remember (which only complicates things more). They end up reenacting a lot of their interactions and it kills them both to do things they know hurt the other but they don't want to change anything.

oh no buddy, I’m not gonna let this stay sad. I’m gonna draw attention to several sad things, but then I’m gonna fix it.

******************

Bitty wakes up on his first day of freshman year. Again. He quickly decides that he can’t say anything to anyone. There was no way to prove that the life he had just been living was anything but a dream.

He goes through the motions as well as he can remember. If he lingers a little on the handshake when he ‘meets’ Jack again, well, who could notice a thing like that?

Jack wakes up in the Haus. He mirrors Bitty’s mental process, realizing that if he started talking about this he could lose the future he knows is on its way. He searches Bittle’s face for recognition, but is too afraid to say anything.

Jack takes a deep breath every day and snaps at Bittle, pushing every pet name out of his mind. Bitty forces himself to forget and relearn how to take a check. On the rink together for checking practice, neither can think of any way to ask if they’re going through the same thing. They both cry more than they did the first time around.

Sometimes Bitty just gets angry at having to repeat things. He tries as hard as he can to not mess the repetitions up, but he isn’t perfect. When Ransom and Holster start asking him what his type is, he rolls his eyes and replies “Men.” As soon as he’s said it he remembers that he had only said that later to his camera, but the damage doesn’t seem to be too great. Jack doesn’t seem to react to the change, adding to his mental list of evidence that everything else had just been a dream. He gets the list of eligible Winter Screw options a few days earlier, but everything settles back to what it had been within a week. Whenever he starts thinking about the next few years, he’s enraged about everything he’s going to have to sit back and let happen. Everything that was going to make Jack sad, and that he wouldn’t be able to fix. Everything that was going to hurt him that he couldn’t avoid. 

Jack wakes up every day and writes up a game plan. It’s hard to have to turn back years of learning and be worse as a captain, especially when he remembers every mistake he made in every lost game. So he writes down those mistakes as a reminder to himself to make them. Half of the mistakes are emotional, and that’s what really gets him. He’s forced to act like those years of growing as a person never happened, like they were worthless. He hates trying to make himself glare at Bittle when they’re on the same line, he hates telling him that it was a lucky shot, he hates being so close to his boyfriend except for the fact that he isn’t his boyfriend yet.

Then it’s the playoffs. Bitty steels himself all week for the concussion he knows is coming. It crosses his mind to try to avoid it, to spare himself the pain and potential brain damage. But he remembers that it was only after the concussion that Jack started texting him, and they really got close. He knows that if he went against the play he knew Jack was going to suggest, he’d only drive them apart. Besides, it hadn’t been that bad the first time.

Jack is confident he can find another reason to text Bittle over the summer. He’s thought about this for the whole school year. Whatever consequences could come from not seeing Bitty hurt like that would be worth it. He just has to convince the coaches to not put Bitty in at the wrong time. 

“Oh my god, I thought we got over this months ago,” Bitty mutters to himself. He doesn’t remember Jack getting so annoyed about playing with him during this game, but he’s at a point where everything has run together in his mind. 

“Jack, I’ll be fine,” he half-lies. He will, eventually. There’s something close to panic in Jack’s eyes. Weird, Jack had taken so long the first time around to show any tiny sign of weakness.

“Promise me you’ll avoid number three.” This is definitely different from before. Bitty stares at Jack. “Spencer, number three, don’t go near him when he’s on their side of the rink. Promise me, Bits.”

“You didn’t even call me Bitty at this point,” he says in shock. They stare at each other for a minute, eyes wide. 

“I won’t get the concussion this time and we’ll talk about this after the game,” Bitty blurts out. Jack nods vigorously. They play, and it’s brutal, but Bitty avoids the hip check. Once the game is over, they rush to get seats together in the bus. In whispers, they talk about the future they already had. Bitty mourned the years of school he had ahead of him that he had already completed. Jack complained about having to rewalk a long path to the Stanley Cup. They talked about teammates who felt like family but would still know them as strangers. Graduation, the Fourth of July they spent in Madison, their first Christmas together. Every important milestone of their relationship.

“And in this loop or timeline or whatever, we haven’t even kissed!” Bitty whispers, letting his head thunk back against the headrest. “I was at the point where I was out of college, happy with my career, and hiding a ring from you!”

“You weren’t!” Jack says out loud before dropping back into a whisper. “I was doing the same thing.” They both start laughing. It’s the perfect time to have a second first kiss. They lean in towards each other, their lips meet, and–

–They’re back in their apartment. Bitty sits bolt upright in their bed and turns to Jack. For a fleeting second, he thinks about pretending the last several months just didn’t happen. Jack sits up too, and their eyes meet.

“Did that just–”

“Your frog year take two–” They dissolve into relieved laughter.

“I thought I was going to have to take calc again!”

“I thought I was going to have to listen to you complain about calc again,” Jack says before Bitty smacks him with a pillow. “Kidding! Kind of! Wait, weren’t we just saying that we wanted to propose to each other?” He throws himself out of bed and runs to start rummaging through various coat pockets.

“Oh no, you’re not going to propose to me before I can propose to you!” 

Everything is as it should be once more.

i have too many feelings about michelle jones so here have headcanons and peter x michelle

this was obnoxiously long because i have no control so lots of stuff is under the cut and it became very fic-like at the end there, whoops. 

one (THIS ONE!) | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

  • so michelle moved with her family to new york when she started high school
  • and mj was actually pretty sad to leave her friends back in chicago because it had taken a long time to make those friends and she always feels awkward around new people
  • so she isn’t very happy about The Move
  • she comes from a loving family
  • like, she gets kissed every night before she goes to bed, her parents read her bedtime stories until she was ten, she used to wear matching outfits with her mother, family movie nights were every friday
  • her parents were really good to her for the most part and just loved and supported her
  • they’re also pretty smart and since mj has pretty much always been inspired by them so intelligence and the acquisition of knowledge is really important to her
  • hence reading and academic decathlon, but she’s also into math and science too because she’s very driven and doesn’t have that many friends in new york so what else is she gonna do?
  • and her parents are an interracial couple and they’ve encountered a lot of hate and mj was always so sad when she walked out with her mother and people would give them weird looks
  • so she’s tried to end hate whenever she can and fights to give a voice to those who are silenced
  • but now cue mj going to high school in new york
  • she joins academic decathlon ofc because who do you think she is she lives for this shit
  • and then! there is this little shithead on the team PETER PARKER
  • like who the fuck does this kid think he is
  • answering all these questions, acting like he’s sooo smart just because he happens to know a lot of facts and is really good at physics and speaks spanish really well and also happens to be really dorky and adorable and okay maybe he’s kind of attractive too and maybe mj starts throwing herself more into academic decathlon and possible CONSIDERS joining band but that’s ONLY BECAUSE PETER IS A SHITHEAD AND SHE NEEDS TO SHOW HIM HE ISN’T THE ONLY TALENTED ONE OKAY
  • anyway

Keep reading

deal | pt 3 (m)

Originally posted by sugamysavagebaby

summary: the years spent working hard had really paid off and was it so wrong to want to rub that in a few faces? The cliché mean girls that often teased you for not doing anything with your hair or clothing, wouldn’t it be great to show off someone like Jungkook? High school reunion au + ceo!jeon

word count: 3,292

warning: slight voyeurism, usual filth etc

part one | part two

Monday. A fresh start to the week, bringing a close to deadlines as new deals began. The office as always was bustling with life, colleagues sharing mundane details of their past weekend and plans for the next. However, an interesting topic or rather rumour was making it’s way around the office at a frightening speed. You’re preparing your first cup of coffee that morning when you hear it, feminine sniggers to the right of you.

Keep reading

I don't want Anti to have a redemption Arc.

I know. I KNOW.
“But impulse weren’t you all ‘team Anti’ and 'save anti’ two days ago?”
I was and I still am but hear ask yourself this:

How many villains get a redemption arc? How many times do we do a song and dance of hating and fearing the bad guy until we find out he’s just misunderstood and then praise him as he switches sides?
Happens pretty freaking often doesn’t it?

Now think back on all those “redeemed” characters and you’ll notice a pattern. After switching sides and becoming a “good” guy they lose half of what made them stand out.

Okay now back to Anti. He was AWAYS meant to be the bad guy. The antagonist. The one who calls us out on just idly watching and playing favorites.
The dark splash on Jacks otherwise cheery channel and he needs to stay that way.

What I mean by save Anti is this: Save him just this once.

I don’t want him to change. I would honestly be a little upset if he crossed over to being good.
All I want and all I think he needs to switch it up from his normal antics is this:

A moment of clarity.

Just one brief moment of trust in us fans.

I want to see him angry and triumphant over the other egos, them laying beaten and bloody at his feet. I want him to drag Chase (or the fandom fave at the time) up by the hair and go in for the kill only to hesitate.
For words to glitch on the screen.
Our words. Talking about how we love him. How we want to see more of him. How exciting and crazy it is to interact with him.

Most importantly I want him to see a fandom that, for the time being, loves him and just him.
I think it would floor him.
Just imagine Anti holding Chase up by the hair with his knife pressed tight against his throat freeze. The manic grin fade from his face and glitching slow down.

“Do you mean it?”

He looks straight at the camera when his asked this, voice a soft static and he’s gone. The video ends with Chase trying to wake the others and faint zalgo text in the background: Don’t forget this.

Can you imagine the hype after that? Suddenly Anti is the talk of the town fan art after fan art. Fiction and edits everywhere all about him. He finally has what he has always wanted.

The fandom.

But as always, the hype dies and the fandom goes back to fawning over Jack.
But he trusts us. We love him now right? There’s no way we forgot.

Marvin gets a new power hour…
Everything is suddenly flooded with fans cheering for the magician.

“It’s okay! He can have his turn. They love me too. They said so…”

Schneeps returns with his silly antics.
“They’ll include me this time right? They also draw us together! There’s no way they could have forgotten already….”

Time and time again everyone else got to appear and time and time again everyone cheered for them. Again Anti would be left out. A gimmick. A side show. Nothing worth paying attention to once everything was said and done.

Chase gets a new video and that’s where Anti will draw the line.
He’ll reappear and this time he’ll make sure we don’t forget.

Tl/Dr :
I want to save Anti and have him put his trust in us only for us to let him down. Because once the hype dies he’ll be pushed to the side again and even if he isn’t he wouldn’t truly believe us anyway would he?
And he’d make us pay for tricking him.

Can I just, talk about this scene here real quick?

yeah this one. Where lance is about to get fucking shot by Sven. 

Like, before either Lance or Sven could even blink properly like, Keith just comes in and slices that gun right the fuck off so fast you can’t even see his blade.

Not only is this a bad ass moment for Keith (we even get the slow-mo and different angles of the hit as well) it also kind of shows us how Keith will cut a bitch if someone is about to hurt his lance friends. 

I mean his sword came out of literally nowhere and cut off a part of the guy’s gun so fast and so cleanly too. Like, that’s not a sloppy cut at all. It was clean and it was fast. He was going in with the intent to Kill with that kind of cut.

 And what does it show us about Keith? Well, it shows us that Keith will not let anyone hurt his friends and that he does care about Lance’s well being. (Which in turn, is great development coming from his new role as the team leader and considering Lance is his right hand man) 

Cause let’s face it, Keith is hotheaded,  he views himself as a loner, not typically a team-working kind of person. So for Keith, this is pretty new. 

This scene is especially interesting because Lance, our dear precious boy Lance, is the sharpshooter of the team. He knows how to fire a gun and he knows how to doge from a shot. 

When he’s on the battlefield, he’s cautious and analytical, so in turn, that makes him very aware of his position (and even more aware of how risky it is). He has to know how to dodge from a shot. 

(Some images of Lance being a cautious boy)

 And Lance is a damn good shot too. He never misses. The only time he does is if his opponent is too fast for him. 

(Cue acxa dodging all of his shots because of her speed and obvious experience in combat) 

And it’s safe to say that the team knows this. So then why did Keith go in for the kill like he did here? (Because let me tell you honey, that was not a warning cut, he was going in fast and hard and he was determined to cut. that. bitch)

Was it because it was just an instinct for Kieth to go and save Lance??

Just like he did here?(Keith looks absolutely fucking pissed)

 Was it because he saw the immediate danger and gauged Lance’s reaction time to be too slow? 

I mean cause look at him. He was barely getting up to face Sven when Keith fucking came over here and cut his fucking gun.

Like??


They’ve come so far from the first season, where Keith and Lance could barely even protect each other properly and now they’re saving each other’s asses like it was nothing.

In conclusion, they’ve become a lot more in sync and have become prone to save each other at the drop of a hat,

 in the span of only seven episodes.

Bonus, Lance saving Keith:

When You Fail To Be

I blame you entirely @kaxpha I take no responsibility.

…. Y u hurt me dude.

Anyways. Here it is, chapter 1. Lance and Shiro angst + broganes angst + KLANCE angst + ….Just angst all around, yo.

Um…So yeah, hope you like??? It’s also on Ao3 on my same name. It’s the second part of the Human Healing Pod Au.

Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me. Human Healing Pod Au doesn’t belong to me.

——————————

Shiro frowns exasperated as he catches Lance’s blue glowing light from the corner of his eye.

It’s been a few weeks since their last group training took place with Lance’s new healing powers. The brunet insisted that he had the hang of it, being able to work through the process on small injuries without getting dizzy after it.

Lance had reassure Shiro that he will continue training on his own but Shiro had just pursed his lips, not convinced in the least. After a few minutes arguing, Shiro finally agreed to Lance’s plan but only if the brunet had someone with him during his training sessions, something that Lance had grudgingly agreed to along with a few more conditions.

One week later and Lance was already breaking one of their conditions.

“That boy, I swear.” Shiro mumbles, making his way towards Lance as the brunet places his hands over the alien refugee they just saved in today’s mission, his blue eyes falling into a vivid glow entirely in less than a tick, “Hey, I said no more healing today, Lance. You –“

It was just a light pull. Shiro placed his Galra arm over the brunet’s shoulder and pull just enough break apart the contact between him and the alien’s wound and suddenly there was screaming.

Agonized and pained screaming echoes around them and Shiro just stares in horror as Lance shakes and continues to scream in his arms, his glowing eyes getting brighter before losing their light and then being bright once again.

“Lance!” Shiro shouts startled, “Lance, buddy, what’s wrong¡?” He yells in panic, making sure to hold the teen tight against him as he continues to scream and then –

Then Lance sighs, eyes rolling to the back of his head, losing their blue glow, and he goes limp on Shiro’s arms, mouth hanging open in a silent scream and Shiro’s heart skips a beat at the sight.

“L-Lance?” He whispers softly, voice cracking, “Buddy?”

“LANCE!” Keith’s voice echoes in panic and urgency, “Lance¡? Shiro, what happened¡? LANCE!”

“H-He’s not breathing.” Shiro gasps, a cold shiver running through his spine, “H-he’s not –“

Lance’s suddenly taken away from him by a pair of red armored hands. Shiro blinks in panic and confusion for a moment before he raises his head and stares at Keith as the black haired teen cradles Lance’s body against his.

“Lance, baby, hey, come on, come on, this is not funny, Lance, please.” Keith mumbles, his free hand gently patting Lance’s cheek in hopes of getting a reaction, “L-Lance, baby, please, please, no. Hey! Come on, you promised! Lance!”

Everything’s a blur for Shiro after that. Keith’s screams and pleads echo inside him, mixing themselves with Lance’s screams along with Hunk’s sobs and the image of Pidge’s scared face. Barely noticing when Coran makes his way towards them and takes Lance from Keith’s arms, followed by the blurry image of Hunk holding Keith back as he trashes and screams wildly when Lance is taken away from him.

He doesn’t even notice Allura’s presence until she whispers his name against his ear and he snaps out of it. He blinks hard and takes the surroundings around him. He’s in Allura’s room, lying down on her bed, facing the ceiling in disorientation and confusion.

“Wha –“ Shiro mumbles softly, “What.”

“Hey, it’s alright. Take it easy.” Allura whispers gently, stroking his hair, “It’s alright.”

“What happened?” Shiro asks in a daze, eyes groggy and tired before they snap wide open as he remembers Lance’s limp weight on his arms, “Lance. What happened to Lance? Allura?”

“You killed him, that’s what happened.” Shiro freezes at the cold harsh voice that answers him and slowly turns his head to the side to meet his little brother’s glare.

“Keith!” Allura snaps, sighing in exasperation as if it wasn’t the first time she has scolded the teen.

“What? It’s true, isn’t it?” Keith snaps back, frowning and glaring angrily.

Allura stays quiet and Shiro’s blood turns cold.

“Allura?” He asks in a small voice and Allura shakes her head.

“He died for a few ticks but we were able to get him back.” Allura answers, her shoulders tense and her voice tired, “But it wasn’t anyone’s fau –“

“No. It was Shiro’s. It was Shiro who made Lance push himself in every training session knowing the danger. It was Shiro who made Lance feel like he needed to push and push and push himself more every time. It’s because of Shiro that Lance has dark bags and swollen red eyes and is tired all the time. It was Shiro –It was Shiro who broke the connection and caused Lance’s heart to stop.”

One, two, three beats and then –

“What?” Shiro breaths out, slowly sitting up on the bed and waving away Allura’s complaints, “What? What does that – What?

“Keith.” Allura says calmly but with an edge of warning in her tone, “Stand down.”

“Whatever.” Keith mumbles, scoffing and sending Shiro a dark glare before turning around and walking towards the exit, leaving behind a frozen Shiro.

“What.” Shiro whispers, “What?”

“Shiro –“

“Keith, no, wait!” Shiro ignores Allura’s words as he climbs down the bed and follows his brother with wobbly but fast steps, “Keith Kogane Shirogane, come back her –!”

Keith turns around sharply and Shiro takes a surprised step back at the furious snarl on his kid brother’s face.

“Don’t call me that.” Keith whispers with menace, “I want nothing to do with you, you hear me? Nothing.”

“Keith –“ Shiro stops as Keith suddenly crashes against him, barely dodging the fist that was aimed for his face, “Keith!” He repeats, grabbing Keith by the arms and keeping him still.

“You damn son of a –! It was your fault! You and your stupid rules! You and – and – God, I hate you, Ifucking hate you!” Keith screams, fist hitting the young adult on the chest, “You fucking – I fucking hate –“

“Buddy –“

“You didn’t protect him!” Keith screams, still trashing and kicking against Shiro’s hold on his arms, “You didn’t protect him! You promised and you didn’t –! You just let him die in your arms! You just stood there as he died and –! Fuck!”

“Keith, please –“ Shiro rasps out brokenly but Keith shakes his head, taking a step back from his older brother, shrugging his hold.

“No. No. He died, Shiro. My – Lance died and I – I couldn’t – And –“ A sudden abrupt sob escapes his mouth and suddenly Keith falls to the ground, sobs shaking his entire body, “I –I –I didn’t know what – And you were – You looked so hopeless as you held him and I couldn’t – I fucking lost it –“

“Keith.” Shiro mumbles, his heart breaking for his little brother but the teen just continues to sob on the ground in the middle of the hallway.

“I-I’m sorry, fuck – I’m sorry, Shiro – I know it wasn’t – wasn’t your fault but –“ Keith presses the palm of his hands hard against his eyes in hopes to stop the flowing tears, “It was mine. It was my fault – And I slash out at you and I’m – He was dead, god , he wasDEAD, SHIRO!”

Shiro doesn’t hesitates and then he’s on the floor, wrapping his arms around his little brother as the teen shakes with sobs, still mumbling incoherently against his brother’s chest and Shiro takes no mind as snot and tears mix themselves on his shirt.

He just holds his brother, tight and strong, and sucks in a deep breath to stop his own tears from falling.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs under his breath against Keith’s wild hair, “I’m so sorry, little brother.”

Allura just stands quietly on the corner, watching with sad eyes as the brothers sit on the floor, holding each other. She turns then, giving them their privacy before she enters the first room down the opposite hall.

Her footsteps are soft as she walks towards the bed on the corner of the room. The room is dark and quiet, for the exception of the hard panting breathing coming from the bed.

Allura takes a seat on the start of the bed, near Lance’s face, and watches sadly as the brunet rasps out harsh breaths through his mouth, unable to fill his lungs properly.

“Hush, now, it’s okay, Lance. It’s okay.” She mumbles gently, brushing Lance’s wet hair back as the the brunet whimpers inconsolably, “Sh, asteráki. You’re alright.”

She stays there for a while, humming under her voice to calm the brunet down and whispering comfort words as he whimpers and whines unconsciously.

Allura losses track of the time but suddenly, the door opens once again and she meets Shiro’s wide scared eyes at the edge of the door.

“Shiro.” She calls softly and frowns when the leader of Voltron doesn’t knowledge her calling, his gray eyes solemnly placed on the shivering brunet on the bed, “Shiro, love.”

One, two, three steps back out of shock and then Shiro’s running out of the room. 

the saga of is it a fic or are they headcanons continues.

one | two (THIS ONE!) | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

  • so michelle starts to get buddy buddy with ned and peter, ish.
  • she starts to actually kind of like ned, even if he sometimes puts his foot in his mouth sometimes. but they argue about the merits of comic books as a form of literature and he teaches her some words in tagalog and she learns how to call peter a son of a bitch so she’s pretty entertained.
  • but the weird things just keep piling up with peter.
  • he rushes off at random times, freezes whenever she asks him where he’s going, shows up to school with cuts and bruises looking like he’s been fighting in an underground boxing ring. she even saw him go into the chemistry lab the other day at lunch time even though they both took chemistry last year and he’s taking biology now.
  • he just does really weird things sometimes and michelle can’t help but notice.
  • michelle also can’t help but notice that spiderman is becoming more and more popular. people sell t-shrits, masks, shot glasses, tote bags. everything, basically. and maybe one day michelle might spend a little too much time looking at a t-shirt with a picture of spiderman in all his toned, muscly glory. but she just shakes her head and keeps moving.
  • she gets curious about him, though. where did he come from? who is he? why is he doing this? why did he sound oddly familiar in DC when he saved her friends?
  • and then one day she’s walking home from school after academic decathlon and she missed the bus which is totally her fault for staying later after practice to chat with peter and ned about the upcoming weekend and how their plans to construct a lego version of the starship enterprise were so utterly boring she could barely stand to listen to them. (and weren’t people supposed to choose star wars or star trek? was that not a thing? not that she cares about things peter likes. well, peter AND ned. anyway.)
  • she’s turning a corner when she sees someone out of the corner of her eyes. there is a man on the opposite side of the street walking several yards back from here. it could be nothing. but she’s also been taught to always be on high alert. so she grips her backpack to her body a bit tighter and walks a little faster down the street, cursing herself for not taking the more populated albeit slightly longer route home.
  • she continues down the street when she notices the man cross the street so that he’s on the same side of the road as she and at that point she just starts running. better that he thinks she’s odd if he isn’t following her than be caught if he is trying to catch her. she sprints down the street and turns another corner as she looks back to check if the man is following her and then bam. she’s on the ground, gripping the shoulder that practically crashed into a brick wall.
  • “oh my goodness, are you okay?” she sighs and looks at the owner of the panicked voice and she is left speechless. it’s…well, it’s spiderman.

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anonymous asked:

Emma I don't know about you but I'm about 1000% certain that Derek Hale and Newt Scamander are related, when he was tiny he used to stare wide-eyed up at Uncle Newt who he admired more than anyone, he was so proud to be sorted into Hufflepuff even though the rest of the Hales were usually Gryffindors because UNCLE NEWT IS A HUFFLEPUFF, Derek went into magical creature studies like his beloved uncle and just like Newt he has an insane way with animals that impresses the BLOODY HELL out of 1/?

Stiles, a Slytherin who happens to be cultivating some rare herb somewhere years after graduation for his apothecary and gets approached by a Hippogriff, only for Derek to be nearby and be like “Oh no THAT HIPPOGRIFF MIGHT GET HURT!” and run to the aid of the animal, Stiles is always offended about how hard their kids laugh when he tells the story about how he and Papa met because Papa cared about a bird more than him (Newt, somewhere I’m sure, is equally amused).

The image of Derek trying to save the Hippogriff is priceless. Poor Stiles, he was probably very excited that a handsome young boy - oh wait, make that the handsomest young boy, now all man, from his school days - was running towards him, to save him (”not that I needed saving, BUT A GUY HAS DREAMS!”) and instead, he got knocked out of the way and watched, a little outraged, from the ground as Derek cooed and bowed to the Hippogriff. 

What if it had tried to kill me???

Shhh, you’re scaring him.

HE’S LITERALLY GIVING ME A DEATH GLARE RIGHT NOW.

Stop being so dramatic. I swear to Merlin, you Slytherins…

UGH, THAT IS UNWARRANTED STEREOTYPING. 

(Derek Hale was totally that kid at Hogwarts who hung out with Hagrid, wanting to feed the magical creatures and pet them, I’m sure. I mean, like, Derek Hale could have been on the Quidditch team (he could definitely show off when he wanted to) and he certainly looked like he wasn’t afraid to curse you something awful when you annoyed him, but in reality? Softest. Gentlest. Dork. To. Ever. Dork. But also, perhaps, werewolf!Derek at Hogwarts who feels like an outsider and is afraid to get close to people because while Hogwarts is progressing, they still have a long way to go when it comes to werewolf rights. And so, Derek makes friends with the magical creatures, finding peace with them, a place without judgement, reading aloud to them and writing his Uncle Newt whenever he feels lonely.)

Also though. Now I need kid!Derek staring up at his Uncle Newt in awe because Uncle Newt is the best. I want kid!Derek feeling honoured and privileged because Uncle Newt lets him and only him see his magical creatures. Kid!Derek’s face the first time he sees a Bowtruckle. Kid!Derek on his first day at Hogwarts and writing screeds back home to his family, making sure to tell his mom to tell Uncle Newt he is pretty sure he saw a unicorn today but not to worry, Derek acted just like he was supposed to and that he hopes Uncle Newt is proud of him. 

Gruff Derek, jock!Derek…these are all good choices. But sometimes I just need unreserved dork!Derek who uses cockiness as a front, yes, but wants nothing more than to read a good book in peace while feeding Buckbeak with Hagrid. 

50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"

master-sass-blast  asked:

Right. So. Might be mildly addicted to your 'Gods and Monsters' series. Definitely need an intervention, but I'll prolly ignore that anyway, so... anyway, can you do something with Zeus and Hera? I've always thought it was massively whack that the goddess of fidelity was with --according to Greek mythos--one of the biggest adulterers on Olympus. Definitely smelling a bit of an abusive relationship there, if you catch my drift... okay byeeeee

Hera, the young goddess of marriage and family, is only unfaithful to her husband once.

She seduces Zeus first, right as the war ends and they’re all pain and ash and thrumming with the excitement of victory. She smiles just so and touches his bloody chest, her hand pale against the dark copper of his skin and, and when he looks at her his eyes spark with the lightning he so easily commands. She is named his wife that very night, her body littered with bruises from his rough, eager hands, and she tells herself the bile at the back of her throat tastes like victory.

She is queen of the gods. This is what she wants.

They’ve all claimed their domains and gone their separate ways, Demeter to the earth, Hades to the underworld, and Hestia to Olympus where they plan to build their palace. But Poseidon still lingers. “Don’t you have an ocean to conquer?” she asks.

He looks at her, then behind her to where Zeus is busy sketching plans for Olympus. “You don’t have to do this,” he says softly, “you – you can come with me if you want. Or I’m sure Hades would take you.”

Hera has no time for Poseidon and his soft heart. “I will only belong to the best,” she says, tossing her head so her crown of curls fall over her shoulder. “You should go. You have work to do.”

“There are more important things than power,” he says uncomfortably, shifting from foot to foot.

“No,” she says, “there aren’t.”

~

Hera would not mind Zeus’s women so much if they were not constantly giving him children, something she has been unable to do.

She is an obedient wife. She does not turn her powers against him, and she’s tolerant of his mortals at first, but the longer she is empty of child the less patience she has. How can she be the goddess of family without one of her own?

Her spite gets in her way, and she hurls every kind of obstacle and curse she can at the woman her husband lies with. At first he is angry with her, and bruises litter her throat and wrists. Then, as her wrath and powers grow, he is afraid of her. He watches her warily, sneaking to the mortal realm when before he wouldn’t even try to hide it. He submits when she pins him to the bed and rides him hard, desperate for a child of his, desperate to fulfill the perfect image of wife and mother she’s built for herself.

No matter her magic, no matter how many times they lie together, Hera does not get with child.

She goes to Hestia, and her sister presses a hand to her stomach and purses her lips and says, “Must it be his child?”

Hera stares. She’s the goddess of marriage and family. She is not capable of infidelity. “I – I can’t.”

“Just once,” Hestia says, “the problem is not with you, nor with him, clearly. Only the combination of you both. Lie with any other man, and you will have your child.”

So Hera, just once, puts on a disguise and goes to the mortal realm. She finds a man with skin darker than Zeus’s, a rich warm brown that matches his soft eyes. She lies with him, and it hurts. He is kind and patient and kisses the edge of her jaw, her shoulders, her navel. But to be unfaithful grates against her very nature as a goddess, and every moment is agony. He finishes, his mouth whispering kind things against her own, and she leaves as soon as she can.

It works. She becomes round with child, and is happier than she’s been in a long time. She does not mind Zeus’s mortals, and he even becomes kinder while the baby grows inside of her. His hands become softer, and he spends less time away from Olympus.

The baby is born, and Zeus is furious.

The child is too dark to be his, and he tears it from Hera’s hands while she lies exhausted from the birth. “What do you care?” she cries, struggling to stand, “You have dozens of children. What does it matter if I have one?”

He holds the baby in one hand and grabs her jaw with the other, pulling her to her knees. “You are my wife,” he hisses, “the goddess of marriage and family. You will have my child, or no child at all.”

He throws the baby from Mount Olympus. Hera screams, pushing herself away from him and attempting to jump after it. Zeus catches her around the waist, and with a crackle of power and roar of rage, he sends a lightning bolt after the baby.

The child may have survived the fall, but not the lightning.

“NO!” Hera screeches, clawing at his arm as she struggles to escape his grasp. Normally she’s not this helpless against him, but delivering her baby has left her weaker than she’s ever been before.

He presses the flat of his hand against her swollen womb, adding pressure until she cries out in pain and tries to squirm away from him. “My child,” he repeats, voice low and terrible, “or no child at all.”

He lets her go, and she collapses, grasping out a hand over the edge of Olympus. But the blood between her thighs is still wet, and she can’t find the energy to stand. She wonders if she’ll have to crawl down the mountain to retrieve her baby’s corpse.

“Sister!” Soft hands grab her shoulder and gently roll her onto her back. Hestia’s face fills her vision, and Hera has never seen the older goddess of hearth and fire look so cold. “I’ll kill him,” she says, hands hovering over Hera like she’s not sure where to begin. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think this would happen, I didn’t think he would – I didn’t think.”

Hera curls on her side until she can place her head in her sister’s lap. She’s not sobbing anymore, she’s never been one to fall into hysterics, but she can’t stop crying, a steady stream of tears dripping silently down her face. Hestia runs trembling hands through her hair. “Don’t,” she whispers, “I did this, this is my fault. I – I should have known better.”

Hestia’s hand cup her face, leaning over so she can look her in the eye. “This is not your fault.”

Her sister stands and picks her up in her arms. Hera tries to tell her to put her down, that Zeus will be angry if she leaves, that she did this to herself. But she falls unconscious before she can get any of it out.

~

Hera awakens someplace soft and warm. She opens her eyes, and she’s inside Hades’s palace. Her confusion lasts only until her memories come rushing back, and then she has to bite her lip until it bleeds to stop herself from crying out.

“Hestia brought you here. She’s returned to Olympus to cover for you both. Do not worry – Zeus doesn’t know where you are.” She turns her head, and sees the goddess of magic at her side. Hecate smiles, “I have mended you, do not worry. All is well.”

All is not well. That statement is so far from true, and her instant urge is to crush Hecate to dust for the audacity. Before she can make up her mind one way or the other, there’s a soft knock on the door. It opens to reveal her elder brother. “I have something that belongs to you,” he says, and Here focuses on the bundle in the crook of his elbow.

Her baby’s corpse. She’s relieved someone thought to get it. Her heart feels like lead, and all the control she’d had over her emotions is gone instantly. She hopes they’ll leave her alone to hold the body of her child and weep.

Hades gingerly sits on the edge of the bed, and Hecate rises to help Hera prop herself up so she’s at least sitting. “He’s a strong little thing,” Hades says, and Hera doesn’t understand.

Then a warm, wriggling baby is placed in her arms. He’s got great big eyes and his mouth splits into a toothless grin when he sees her. “He’s alive,” she says numbly.

“Not without sacrifice,” Hecate says softly, and reaches over to undo the blanket he’s swaddled in.

Her son has no legs below his knees.

“Zeus’s lightning bolt didn’t kill him, but we cannot return what was lost,” Hades says, pained. “When he’s older, maybe we can do something, give him something in place of legs. But for now, there’s nothing I can do.”

The king of the underworld is the most powerful god after her husband. Hera knows that, even if Zeus doesn’t. If Hades can’t do anything about her son’s legs, then no can. But he’s alive, Zeus didn’t manage to kill him, and Hera finds herself so grateful that she’s holding a smiling, living child that she can’t be anything but relieved. Her son is alive, and happy. He doesn’t need legs.

“I can’t bring him back to Olympus,” she looks up at them, “Can you find someone to raise him? Someone you trust?”

She doesn’t trust anyone, so it can’t be her choosing.

“You’re going back to him?” Hecate demands, “Hestia said – but I thought for sure – you don’t have to! Don’t go back to him!”

“I must,” she holds her son to her chest, and he reaches out with chubby hands to tug at her hair. “I am the goddess of marriage, and he is my husband.”

Hecate stares, aghast. “Don’t – don’t, Hera. Please. Stay here. Hades will protect you.”

She looks up at her brother, and he raises an eyebrow. He would protect her, he would put himself in between her and Zeus’s wrath if she asked him to. But she won’t, and she thinks he knows it. She says, “I am Hera of the Heights, of Argos, of the Mound. I am the cow eyed, white armed goddess of marriage and of family. I am Hera, queen of the gods.” She looks down at her son, and her heart clenches, because for now a title that cannot be afforded to her is that of mother. “I will not abandon my dominion, nor my husband. I will return to Mount Olympus.”

“But you don’t love him,” Hecate says helplessly.

Hera stares, baffled that anyone could think her marriage had anything to do with love. “Of course not. But this isn’t about love. It’s about power.”

The goddess of magic swallows, then says, “I will raise him.”

Even Hades is surprised by that. “Hecate?”

“I will raise him,” she repeats, “He will stay with me, safe in the underworld where Zeus cannot find him, until he’s old enough and strong enough to protect himself.”

“Thank you,” Hera says, and lowers her head enough to kiss the top of her son’s head. “Tell him that I’m the one that threw him from Olympus.” When she looks up, Hades is resigned while Hecate looks on in horror. “Tell him, tell everyone. I gave birth to a hideous son, and I threw him from Olympus. His legs were crushed in the fall. I did this. Zeus tried to stop me, but could not.”

“Why?” Hecate asks.

Hera smiles down at her son, her heart full with a helpless sort of love. “So that when he ventures from the safety of the underworld, Zeus will have no reason to hurt him. So that when he comes to Olympus, Zeus will be unable to hurt him without explaining he was the one that tried to kill him in the first place.” She runs the back of her finger down his cheek, and he grabs it, his little fist holding onto her. “Blame me, and he will be safe.”

Hecate looks like she wants to argue. Hades puts a hand on her shoulder and asks Hera, “What’s his name?”

Her son smiles, and tugs at her hand, the beginnings of a giggle gurgling in his throat.

“His name is Hephaestus.”

~

When she returns, she no longer has any patience for Zeus’s mortals. When before she had only inconvenienced them, now she’s not playing any games. Those that do not die end up wishing they had, and she’s especially vindictive to any mortal carrying her husband’s child.

She sits on her throne, waiting, a smirk curled around the corner of her lips.

Zeus barges in and charges towards her. He’s so angry smoke is rising off his skin. “You,” he hisses, “this is your doing.”

“Whatever do you mean?” she asks, unflinching when he slams his hands on either side of her head, crushing the back of her throne with the force of it.

“She and the children are dead,” he snarls, “my children are dead! I know this is your doing, it reeks of your handiwork.”

Hera slides forward to the edge of her throne, their faces nearly touching, and spreads her legs. He flexes his hands, because even at his most furious he still wants her. She is his wife and his queen. She banishes her clothing so she’s spread out before him, hair piled high and jewelry glinting around her neck. “What are you going to do about it?”

He kisses her hard enough to bruise, and Hera crosses her legs around his back, urging him closer. “Why are you doing this?” he hisses, mouthing at her neck, because he hates her even as he loves her, hates her because he loves her, and loves her because he hates her.

She waits until he’s inside her to lick the shell of his ear and whisper, “My child, or no child at all, husband.”

When he breaks her skin with his teeth, she only laughs.

They do this to each other. Maybe they are meant to be together.


gods and monsters series part xv

read more from the gods and monsters series here

Dating Draco Malfoy Would Include...

Originally posted by legendrarrymalfoy

***not my gif

~ Him telling you how beautiful and smart you are every two seconds

~ “You’re so bloody gorgeous, darling. Honestly, you could tone it down a bit. You’re making me look bad.”  

~ Doing homework by the Black Lake on nice days

~ Him sneaking into your dorm late at night 

~ Stealing his clothes 

~ He would complain about it but secretly think it was so attractive

~ He would show you off with so much confidence

~ Going to every Quidditch match and cheering on Draco (even if you’re in a different house)

~ Him ordering Crabbe and Goyle to get things for you 

~ Them hating you

~ Holding hands during long walks around Hogsmeade

~ Draco would be so confident in you and believe you could do anything you set your mind to. It would just be so encouraging. 

~ Narcissa would frequently steal you away and Draco would be so annoyed

~ Professors taking points from Slytherin and your house for PDA

~ So mUCH PDA

~ Sneaking into the kitchens well after midnight and cooking five course meals 

~ Draco would be such a good cook omg

~ Narcissa would’ve taught him how

~ Holding hands under the table during class

~ When Draco became prefect, he would give detention to anyone that so much as looked at you wrong

~ After dating Draco for a while you would turn into such a badass just like him

~ He would be so proud

~ Going to the Yule Ball together

~ Him loving dancing with you after that

~ Draco would tease you all the time

~ Christmas at Malfoy Manor

~ Baths in the prefect bathroom

~ Stupid pick up lines

~ “Are you a snitch?” 

~ “What?” 

~ “Because you’re the greatest catch here.” 

~ “Hey, Y/N? I don’t need ‘accio’ to make you come.” 

~ Really good sex

~ Sneaking firewhiskey into the Slytherin Tower

~ Draco would be so touchy 

~ SMIRKS 

~ He would obsessively make sure you’re content 

~ “Y/N, are you cold? Do you want some butterbeer?” 

~ “No, I’m fine. Thanks, though.” 

~ “Here babe, take my scarf. Crabbe, go get two butterbeers.”

~ Watching the Black Lake from the common room and pointing out all the creatures

~ Him taking you on broom rides and doing crazy tricks to impress you

~ Which usually scares the hell out of you

~ But you loved being in the sky

~ Harry Potter would not be allowed to even breathe in your general direction

~ A first year Hufflepuff accidentally bumping into you and knocking your books out of your hand

~ Draco pinning him against the wall and threatening him until he cries

~ “Draco, what the hell is wrong with you!”

~ “He hurt you!” 

~ “It was an accident! Bloody hell, Draco! He’s eleven!” 

~ “’M sorry darling, just instincts…” 

~ Him helping you with homework 

~ You getting so stressed because you don’t understand and just having a mental breakdown because O.W.L.S are so close

~ Him just doing your homework for you

~ Snape recognizes his handwriting but doesn’t say anything

~ Yelling at him about the word “mudblood” 

~ EVERYONE in the entire school would know that you were his 

~ When the basilisk is out and about he walks you to every class even if he’s late for his own

~ Since Draco is a literal genius you two would both put your names in the Goblet of Fire

~ He would love to kiss you

~ The kisses would rang from little pecks to him literally trying to suck your face off

~ Harry would hate you

~ Ron would think you were the hottest creature on the planet

~ Hermoine would secretly admire how smart and independent you were

~ Lucius loving you and always telling you embarrassing things about Draco 

~ Lucius would be like a second father to you 

~ He would be so hard on Draco, but the second something upset you he would be threatening to kill

~ Him and Narcissa would send you on shopping sprees all the time

~ Draco would love shopping with you

~ “Will you try on lingerie for me?” 

~ Little arguments all the time

~ Exploring Hogwarts and knowing about lots of the castle’s secrets

~ Discovering the Mirror of Erised together

~ “What do you see?” 

~ “You.” 

~ Him loving to play with your hair

~ Jealousy 

~ SO MUCH JEALOUSLY

~ You sharing notes with Goyle and Draco ignoring you both for the rest of the day

~ “Draco, what is your problem? I need love and attention, stop ignoring me.” 

~ “Go get some attention from Goyle.” 

~ You HATING Pansy Parkinson

~ Her knowing and trying to get in arguments with you every day

~ Her twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes at Draco in the hallway, “Dracy, are you still helping me with my Potions later? You promised.” 

~ You just walking up and snogging Draco right in the middle of their conversation and whispering something super dirty in his ear

~ “N-No, Pansy. I,” he has to stop and clear his throat “I don’t think that I can.” 

~ Him just loving you so, so much 

~ Draco would just be the best boyfriend

~ Like despite everything he goes through he always puts you first 

~ He just loves you so much ugh 

~ It would be so good

This was probably entirely too long but I love everything about Draco Malfoy so I can’t help it.

slightlied  asked:

hi spooks!! viktuuri high fives for the touch prompts? i just think that's so??? Hilarious??? *morooka voice* and here we have the most romantic lovers to ever grace the ice executing a..............high five

I…might have gone in a slightly different direction with this???? oops. 


Katsuki and Best Friend Coach Victor Nikiforov to remain Coach and Student as Nikiforov Returns to Skating

Nikiforov shocked the skating world when he abruptly retired earlier this year and moved to Japan to coach Katsuki Yuuri. Their hug at the Cup of China made waves in the skating community—showcasing a deep affection between two friends. Two very good friends. Definitely just friends. No one is quite as skeptical of Nikiforov’s decision now that Katsuki’s broken his coach’s record and taken home silver.

At the press conference after the medal ceremony, Nikiforov expressed his desire to return to the ice while remaining Katsuki’s coach…

Click to read more


“I’m suing them for libel.” Victor would rip the paper in half but he needs to make sure he can still read the columnist’s name so he can savage them over the phone. And television. And Twitter—especially Twitter. “Did they not see my ring?”

Keep reading