i don't know what i've been doing

story time: presidential edition
  • so you know how everyone has a story
  • you know
  • like the story
  • like if you’re at a party and someone turns to you and says, tell the story
  • and you know exactly what they mean
  • the story
  • well 
  • i have a story
  • and not unlike most good stories, it involves three key components:
  • barack obama
  • pre-2008 reebok sneakers 
  • and the absolute earth-shattering horror you can only feel after making the worst mistake of your life

Keep reading

2

infodumping about the ocean

Stuff My Mom Has Told Me During Hamilton (Act 2)
  • What'd I Miss: "Where'd his accent go?"
  • "That's Thomas Jefferson mom."
  • "No that's Lafayette."
  • "Same actor. Different character."
  • Cabinet Battle #1: "Why can't the debates be like this?"
  • Take A Break: "....where the fuck is Peggy?!"
  • Say No To This: "That God damn note what in the shit?!"
  • The Room Where It Happens: "So is Burr like, the person who tries too hard to be cool? Also there was three so what does he mean he arranged the seating?"
  • Schuyler Defeated: "Why do half these songs start the same?"
  • Cabinet Battle #2: "Fourth wall break!"
  • "What?"
  • "They mentioned Lafeyette! Fourth wall break!"
  • "Mom, same actor, different character. Lafayette and Thomas knew each other."
  • "Not important."
  • Washington On Your Side: "I've never been so ready to drop kick someone."
  • *Casually scoots away*
  • One Last Time: "Alex has such daddy issues..."
  • I Know Him: "I had actually forgotten about the King..."
  • "How?"
  • "I don't know! I thought he died!"
  • The Adams Administration: "This song is so short."
  • "It's not the full bit."
  • "What?"
  • *plays full one*
  • "Alex has a lot of anger issues."
  • We Know: "Wait - why do Jefferson and Alex hate each other so much? Is that sexual tension?"
  • "Mom..."
  • Hurricane: "You know I was in a hurricane once..."
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: "Wait why do the three sound shocked? They already knew! They read it as if they hadn't!"
  • Burn: "Hello tears I forgot about you..."
  • Blow Us All Away: "I forgot they had kids...wait wasn't he just nine?"
  • Stay Alive (Reprise): "My God...you ever try and take a gun to fight someone and I may just kill you."
  • "That is /not/ the point of this song."
  • It's Quiet Uptown: *she just refuses to stop hugging me*
  • "Mom...please..."
  • "Shhh let me show my love..."
  • "Mom your tears are in my hair!"
  • The Election Of 1800: "What the shit?! Stop having depressing songs then a fun one!"
  • "Please let go of me..."
  • Your Obedient Servant: "This is so passive aggressive..."
  • Best Of Wives And Best Of Women: "This sounds so cute but...it's so sad?"
  • "Have you learned nothing throughout this?"
  • "...I want to hate it. I can't."
  • The World Was Wide Enough: "He...does know when people get older they need glasses right? Glasses don't mean murder. Otherwise you and your four eyes would be killing every day!"
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: "That's Washington! I recognize that voice! It's so deep and sexy!"
  • "Mom this is an emotional song."
  • "I know! That voice deserves more action!"
  • "Mom..."
  • Ravenclaw: *running* Oh no, I'm late!
  • Gryffindor: The class has already ended.
  • Ravenclaw: So... am I really late for this class, or really early for the next one?
  • Gryffindor: What?
How to Have a Highly Successful Social Reputation When You Have Severe Anxiety to The Point of Agoraphobia:
  1. go to one in three events you are invited to, as long as you are given that invitation over a week in advance to prepare,
  2. tell people beforehand that you have to leave by a specific time due to Excuse (even ‘early morning tomorrow’ works if you inform them immediately upon receiving invitation), stick to this departure time at all costs, regardless of events,
  3. pretend to be Hannibal Lecter when you get there.
    1. you must at all times be amiable and charming so people don’t realize you are a serial killer
    2. you can hang out by the food and compliment it and ask questions about ingredients and stuff
    3. you can focus on making subtle cannibalism puns throughout the night (and yes this does help)
    4. you are interested in people, and learning about those people, because you have that whole ‘choosing victims’ thing going on and also have to think of an ironically beautiful way to kill them
    5. THEY CAN NEVER KNOW YOU ARE PRETENDING YOU’RE HANNIBAL LECTER, so you better use a cover story of being yourself when they ask questions. quickly deflect back to your target conversation partner.
⊱simple introduction starters⊰
  • ❝what are you doing here?❞
  • ❝you're going to hurt yourself, let me help you.❞
  • ❝why are you staring at me?❞
  • ❝if you didn't want to talk to me, you could've just said so.❞
  • ❝i think you dropped this.❞
  • ❝here, i'll pay for that.❞
  • ❝so i assume you're the one everyone's talking about.❞
  • ❝that outfit looks nice on you, where'd you get it?❞
  • ❝why are you doing this?❞
  • ❝so that looks dangerous... want to try it?❞
  • ❝you're going to do WHAT with WHAT?❞
  • ❝can you help me grab this?❞
  • ❝don't talk to me until i've had my coffee. thanks.❞
  • ❝that was possibly the weirdest thing i've ever seen.❞
  • ❝you have the prettiest smile i've seen all day.❞
  • ❝do i have anything on my shirt?❞
  • ❝are you waiting for an interview too?❞
  • ❝is this seat saved for anyone?❞
  • ❝i've never been here before, it's beautiful.❞
  • ❝do you know the directions to (location)?❞
  • ❝so how long have you been working here?❞
  • ❝how many of those have you had?❞
  • ❝i'm not suppose to talk to strangers.❞
  • ❝you'll be ok, i promise.❞
  • ❝can you hear me?❞
  • ❝i think you're on my foot...❞
  • ❝i guess you're stuck with me 'til the elevator starts working.❞
  • ❝could you POSSIBLY get more annoying?❞
  • ❝i have several questions, first off WHY?❞
  • ❝why would you do that?"
  • ❝i think that guy is giving you a weird look.❞
  • ❝hey are you ok?❞
  • ❝do you live here?❞
  • ❝are you third-wheeling too?❞
  • ❝why are like this?❞
  • ❝who did this to you?❞
  • ❝who told you that?❞
  • ❝why are you following me?❞

franklytriggering  asked:

Hi Neil. I have a problem with my novel. I've been shopping it around and I can't find an agent that will pick it up. I've paid for editorial services and done pretty extensive work on it, and everyone I show it to really likes it, but I'm getting nothing but form rejections back so I don't know what's wrong with it. How do I move forward? I'm getting really discouraged.

Write the next novel. 

Maybe the one you wrote isn’t good enough. Maybe it’s not the time for it, or it hasn’t yet found its publisher (remember that Dune was rejected by 23 publishers).  Maybe if there is something wrong you won’t be able to see what you can do to fix it until you are a more experienced writer. Maybe if your next novel is amazing and finds a publisher easily they will also want this novel. 

How do you move forward? You move forward by writing the next novel. And the one after that.

avengers as john mulaney quotes
  • steve rogers: All my money is in a savings account. Tony has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.
  • tony stark: I was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. That's like when Steve would be like, "We'd all go play jacks by the soda fountain," and you're like, "Nobody knows what you're talking about , you idiot."
  • clint barton: It's fun to be married. I've never been supervised before. I'm supervised! My wife studies what I do, like an anthropologist. She'll be like: "Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out confuses and upsets him."
  • bruce banner: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.
  • natasha romanoff: I'll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.
  • thor: Ah...numbers. The letters of math.
  • sam wilson: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don't care for that shit at all.
  • bucky barnes: Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the '30s: As long as you weren't there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
  • scott lang: it's 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
  • peter parker: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
  • t'challa: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • Rich: How long have you been sleeping with Michael?
  • Jeremy: What? I don't even get...Why would...I...I've never had sex with anyone anywhere. It's none of your... You have the nerve, the audacity... An how... How do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off.

fluffy-firefly  asked:

What is your stance on veganism outside of bees and elitism? I've been reading into it because some claim that it's bad for the environment not to be vegan or it's bad for your body and I don't know what sources to trust, but you've always been an accurate source of info, but I was just wondering your opinion?

You do you, man. If you feel better on a vegan diet, go for it. Just don’t try to get me to stop eating animal protein. Vegan diets don’t supply some B vitamins, but that can be supplemented.

But honestly, animal husbandry goes hand in hand with farming plant based foods. Chickens are going to lay eggs even without a rooster. Those eggs will just rot unless collected and eaten. And you want chickens, because they are A+++ natural pest control in gardens, and chicken dung is an excellent fertilizer to improve soil fertility for more plant food. And chickens die, eventually; why waste the meat? Even if you never slaughter a chicken, there is no good reason not to eat eggs and the chickens themselves once they get old and die. Save the feathers; those make good stuffing for pillows and mattresses.

Same for goats. Goats can live on marginal land where no crops can be grown, eat almost anything, and produce high quality milk, far more than a baby goat can drink. So, drink the milk, eat the goat when it dies. Compost the dung and use as fertilizer. Use the leather for whatever you need leather for.  

Pigs can live off kitchen scraps. During WW2 in England, it was common for people to form a “Pig Club” to fatten a pig on scraps and then butcher it and share the meat. It was a good way of turning waste into food. Tan the hide, use the leather.

Veganism isn’t better for the environment. Going VEGETARIAN to a large extent, where you still eat eggs and cheese, might be a good compromise, and would make sure you get the proteins and B vitamins a vegan diet lacks. But honestly, the idea that veganism is somehow better for the environment is a myth.

6

Dark x Light

anonymous asked:

Omfg new cool FFXV writing blog yaaay <3 How about the boyband crushing hard on a female friend but they don't want to ruin the friendship. Or appear to be that guy who is in it for the booty. So they accidentally fess up in a normal conversation and she's stunned. Does she reject them or agree to take it slow? Up to you love <3

Okay so this request got me so excited that I think I’m going to do both outcomes?? like what I’m putting here is her accepting their feelings, but I totally plan to break these boys’ hearts in a separate post. I can’t help it. I gotta do both

Thanks for the wonderful request, anon! Enjoy some nervous chocobros!

(looooong post, guys. strap in)

Noctis:

He didn’t mean to tell you.

He was content with his feelings remaining a secret. He was happy with simply being in your presence, even if you were oblivious to the way his heart raced any time that you were near. If it meant that he could stay with you for a little while longer, he would be just friends for as long as possible.

Then he went and screwed it up, throwing a wrench in his plans with a few simple words.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you know exactly what Liam said about Louis? I don't think I've seen the quote on my dash

I tried to catch it all, but forgive me if there are some mistakes:

“Louis’ been great. Bless him. He’s had a tough..a tough..go of things and the way things are happening for him, but he’s handling it. And he’s going down and settling his business and you know….like I say. It’s been really tough for him, but what, you know, what a great song he came out with.”

@ straight girls who have gay female friends: please! please have the same amount of interest and excitement when your gay friends talk to you about their crushes as when your straight friends talk to you about their crushes!! nothing feels worse than silence/awkward laughter after you’ve just spilled everything to your friend and then watching a straight girl doing the same & getting unlimited support!

and pls! “but i think she’s straight” “but she’s really close with *insert random boy*” “but i don’t really like her…” is! not! what your friend wants to hear! we know she could be straight. we know you don’t like her, or don’t see the appeal, because you’re straight. we know. you’ve just gotta give us support anyway, as you would another straight girl.

oh hey so just a head’s up that apparently Tapastic has made a weird decision about Right of First Refusal on their ToS and while it’s all kind of, confusing as to what it all means I may be taking TPoH down from the site if it seems like a Bad Time? because I am really trying hard to get volume 2 to be a thing and frankly I don’t got time for confusing legal nonsense, that said I really don’t know what even is the deal with this yet so I don’t want to jump start any panic- if anyone has a better notion of ‘what the fuck’ please let me know!

edit: haha oh wow I’m out bye tapastic sorry folks I don’t take no chances

(also just to clarify this isn’t me leading an example or wanting in any way to start drama over all this, but there are certain things currently in the works for my comic right now and I cannot afford to jeopardise opportunities that I’ve worked towards for literal years, so, it’s been fun and it was a nice site to post on as a rule but I’m calling it quits while the going is good)