Okay, so why is it that girls think us trans guys somehow know more about girl stuff than cis guys. I have a group chat with my friends and it was just us trans guys for a bit and I was offered lip gloss. I had to ask my fellow trans guys what it was. We came to the conclusion that it is just a fancy word for chap stick. Until Kevin (a cis guy) came on and just told us what it really was. Seriously, we don't know about girl stuff anymore than cis guys.
Boy oh boy do I wish I had an answer to that cause I get this all the time to??? Past eyeliner and concealer, your boy knows heck darn about makeup and yet girls tend to assume that I do? It’s a really bizarre phenomenon that I think is linked to the idea that anyone born with ovaries must have Feminine Knowledge™ imbedded into their brain, when in reality all of that is just learnt stuff and some people have no interest in learning. Its weird, my guy.
PS: I think lip gloss is a kind of battle weapon…..be careful…..
As the dear submitter titled this photographic wonder: “COWBOY. DENIM. WHORE.” And yes. Truer word were never spoken. Let’s analyse it bit by bit, shall we??
1. COWBOY: well, dear Thomas, it certainly looks like you escaped from some far west movie set, with those very cowboyish boots, plaid patterned shirt and jeans, slumped on the floor as if you owned the fucking place (LOOK AT ALL THAT SWAAAAAGGG, PEOPLE). You are only missing the horse. Maybe you could call Joey in?
2. DENIM: yes, well, I think it speaks for itself doesn’t it? Even if denim on denim hadn’t recently made a weird comeback, you sure know how to wear it darling. The Louis Vuitton shirt you are wearing (yes, for those of you who thought the brand only made expensive bags and purses, apparently it also designs dingy looking denim plaid shirts) is not exactly my cup of tea, but you make up for it by having rolled up the sleeves, thus showcasing your delicious forearms (who would have thought forearms could be so erotic?). Those jeans however… O gosh, they are pure fucking perfection (read further as to why on the “WHORE” section below).
3. WHORE: THOMAS YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING WHORE! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SIT LIKE THAT, WITH YOUR LEGS WIDE OPEN AND YOUR CROTCH AREA ON DISPLAY FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE?? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! IT FUCKING ISN’T! YOU CERTAINLY ARE THE WHORIEST WHORE TO EVER WHORE! I MEAN THOSE TROUSERS ARE A THING OF SIN! I CAN SEE YOUR BUTT CHEEKS PERFECTLY OUTLINED! IS THAT NORMAL OR SHOULD I BE CONCERNED.
But in all seriousness, Thomas. Wear those jeans always, if you can bear the tightness around the crotchular section (if you cannot bear it, wear them anyways. God knows you’ve destroyed enough ovaries…)
"ughh I need to go get my hot water bottle, I'll call you later."
"awwn why? whats wrong?"
"don't lie to me, comeon tell me everything."
"you seriously don't want to know."
"I honestly do."
"Okay well I feel like my bloody vagina is about to drop off, my back fucking hurts, I feel like my ovaries are bleeding in an attempt to kill me from excessive blood loss and every single time I get up it feels like fucking Niagara falls oh and I have to turn to check that my skirt isn't stained because I'm terrified that's gonna happen and I'm going to have to go take another shower for like the fourth time together and get changed again. that is no fun."
"well I didn't need to know that."
WHY DO GUYS ASK AND THEN DECIDE THEY DONT WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS.