i don't know just get me out of here


Then & Now // redbubble

(I haven’t done anything like this since 2010… )


Quick confession: he leaves me breathless and renders me speechless all the time

And I don’t want a never ending life
I just wanna be alive while I’m here

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

I just want to get out of here. I want to call you and tell you everything that’s wrong and i want you to tell me that its going to be okay. I need you to tell me its going to be okay.
  • *4.20am*
  • Molly: *snoring*
  • -phone buzzes-
  • Molly: *jerks awake; gropes for her phone*
  • Your arse bothers me. SH
  • Molly: *confused; typing* It's four in the morning. MHx
  • It still bothers me. SH
  • Molly: *sighs* Why? MHx
  • Because it's cute. SH
  • Molly: *raises an eyebrow* Okay. MHx
  • Want to touch it. SH
  • Molly: *smiles* Where are you? MHx
  • Not sure. It's dark. Someone's cat is here. SH
  • Molly: *groans; gets out of bed, puts on a dressing gown and leaves her bedroom*
  • Sherlock: *lying on her sofa; nodding off with his phone in his hand and Toby in his lap*
  • Molly: *folds her arms* How did you get in?
  • Sherlock: *sits up; grins* Molly! You came.
  • Molly: *giggles* Come on *holds out her hand*
  • Sherlock: *takes her hand; yawns* Are we going to touch each other's butts now?
  • Molly: *shakes her head* The case went well, I see.

*singing along to A Thousand Years while plotting HKF*
“I want you to know that I’m here for you…”
“Dear Asami…”
 “It’s so good to see you again…”
“You’re looking… snazzy as always…”
“I don’t think I could have handled losing you…”
“Let’s go on a vacation! Just the two of us.”
“Sounds perfect.”

Originally posted by i-am-my-own-drugs

Trans Headcanons for Harry Potter

It’s apparently National Coming Out day (ps am gay), so here’s some trans headcanons for Harry Potter. From a conversation with @buttcheek2 , who is great.

Hermione: She’s black, of course, which makes Malfoy’s anti-muggleborn racism more poignant, and she’s also trans.
Picture a little 11-year-old trans girl staring down the wrong puberty. She’s done the research, she’s read how hard it is to get puberty blockers and hormones, she’s learned about surgeries and discrimination, she knows how hard it’s going to be for her. Then she gets a letter that says “Magic exists and you can do it. You can fix this with a wave of a wand.”

No friggin’ wonder she read all her textbooks six months in advance. No one else’s very identity is dependent on being top of the class.

(P.S. we see her doing permanent body modification with magic, and didn’t it always seem like she was a little *too* into making the Polyjuice Potion? It wasn’t a great plan, and it was super difficult, dangerous, and against the rules, but she always seemed *really* excited about getting to transform into that cis girl…)

Ginny: Molly Weasley thought she had seven sons and resigned herself to a life surrounded by testosterone. Imagine her joy when she learned she had a daughter.

And imagine how much her brothers teased her about “now you’re a girl, I guess you can’t play us in Quidditch” until she shut them up.

Snape: Snape’s story always felt like it was missing something; he was supposed to be Forlorn Eternal Love, but he wound up as Creepy Stalker. But consider, from his perspective:
Young trans boy likes a girl, but she can’t see past his body. He learns how to make potions to change his body, but it’s a slow process. Before he perfects it, this other boy comes along, and just because he was lucky enough to be born in the right body, the girl falls in love with him! He spends the rest of his life convinced that if he’d been assigned male at birth, he could have gotten her.

This takes Snape from “friendzoned =(” to “trans boy frustrated he can’t get a straight girl to see past his body”. Lily becomes his motivation to transition (inverse of Hermione, whose transition is partial motivation for her academic excellence). This also explains his extreeeeeeme hatred of James and the other marauders, and his specific anger at Harry’s privilege, at the advantages he gets simply because of some accidents of birth. It means also that James’ magical pantsing prank goes from bullying to hate crime (and that Harry seeing that memory in the pensieve effectively outed Snape), so it makes a little more sense for Snape to hold a grudge for decades.

It also explains part of why he’s such a horrible asshole in classes, not just to Harry but also to Hermione, Neville, and others. It isn’t that he hates everyone: he hates amab people. He hates anyone who had the privilege he lacked. He *especially* hates Hermione, who had that and then gave it up.

Course, he also gives special treatment to Malfoy…

Malfoy: Draco gives Snape a chance to fix his mistakes, to live vicariously through someone else. When fellow death eater Lucius mentions that his daughter is saying silly things about herself, Snape stops him and demands to see the child. He gives Draco the potions he spent so long devising so that this boy doesn’t have to live the same pain that he did.

Since Snape sees Malfoy as a younger version of himself, he wants to protect him, to make sure he does well in school and doesn’t get hurt, especially by the Potter boy. When Narcissa needs to find someone to protect her son, she chooses someone who isn’t just his teacher or head of house, but a man devoted to protecting him, even at the cost of his own life.

None of this makes Malfoy particularly more interesting, but that’s alright; not every trans character is defined by their gender. Malfoy comes from a rich, socially high-ranking family, and transitions at a young age. He remains extremely privileged one way or the other and highlights how important that privilege is to a trans person.

McGonagall: The transfiguration master, a woman who’s devoted her magical career to learning how to transform her body. It would be kinda symbolically inappropriate for her *not* to be trans.

Going into her deeper backstory outside of the books, McGonagall’s story revolves around a mother forced to hide her identity, a girl proud of herself and who she is, and a decision to live proudly and openly, even if it means she doesn’t marry. Honestly, the trans metaphor is pretty obvious.

She also excelled academically at school, like another trans girl we know, and specifically focused her efforts on learning how to transform her body. As an animagus, it also makes complete symbolic sense for her to be genderfluid, changing between two distinct forms rather than permanently transforming herself.

Moaning Myrtle: She spent all her time in the girls’ bathroom, locked in a stall; even as the other girls made fun of her for how she looked, it was the only place she felt like herself. When she died, she stayed in one of the only gendered spaces on campus.

What was the unfinished business that kept her on this plane? Finding transphobes and making fun of *their* genitals and telling *them* they can’t use this bathroom. The bathroom was abandoned because she made it a trans-only space by haunting the shit out of any cis girl who came in. Hermione and Ginny were okay, of course. She lets Harry and Ron in because she assumes they’re closet trans (why would a boy want to go into the girl’s bathroom?), and she sympathizes with Malfoy in his sixth year since he actually is trans (albeit he’s never been bullied for it like she was).

Remus: once a month something happens to his body that’s beyond his control and he feels like a horrible monster even though his friends assure him it’s okay, until he starts taking a potion (made by Snape) that keeps it under control. Also he’s a werewolf.

This makes his standing by while his cis friends abused another trans boy more poignant, and also explains why Snape would ever do anything nice for him ever.

Tonks: if you don’t think that’s the perfect magic power for a genderfluid person, I dunno what to tell you. Tonks also decided not to go by a clearly feminine first name and was quite happy to assume male forms.

Tom Riddle: Tom is not a trans man but a closeted trans woman. He (that is the pronoun he uses for himself) spends his whole life fighting his urges. It would have been very hard to transition in an orphanage, where he is bullied for any feminine traits he displays and lashes out with magic.

In school, as he goes through puberty, he tries hard to be as masculine as he can, gathering a group of all male friends and making himself their leader, even taking on the title “Lord”. He focused on his magical ability, seeking something to fix himself, rather than accepting and loving himself (as Dumbledore always preached). One day, while ashamedly visiting the girls’ bathroom, he discovers the entrance to the chamber of secrets. The person he kills is Myrtle Warren: even though she doesn’t pass and she cries all the time and her life is miserable, she still has the courage to be out and proud. Riddle can’t stand this reminder of his own weakness and kills her. He never returns to the Chamber of Secrets again, because to do so he would need to enter the girls’ bathroom.

Riddle pushes his studies toward magic that will allow him to live even if he destroys or mangles his body, which he sees as the cause of his problems by not being masculine enough.

When reopening the Chamber of Secrets, he chooses a female student (likely to his great shame, unable to resist the urge to do so). When he returns fully, he decides to make his new body of materials drawn from three different men, hoping it would finally let him be at peace with himself, but to no avail. So he seeks out the most powerful wand in the world - surely, with that, he could finally fix himself.

Voldemort trusts Snape despite everything because he sees in him someone else who understands what it’s like to “choose” to be a man. He likely takes Snape’s masculinizing potion, as well. For his symbol, he chooses a snake, an animal which not only represents his ancestry, but is also extremely phallic, symbolizing his maleness. Ironically, the snake he makes his familiar is female: like him, a female mind in a masculine body.

Finally, he seeks out the elder wand, a symbol of ultimate maleness: besides its shape (it is the mightiest phallus in wizarding history), it is passed down through bloodshed, competition, combat: all things coded as male, making it a powerful symbol of masculine strength. However, even this betrays him, and he dies by his own hand after putting all of his faith into an identity that was never his.

What I need..

I just want to escape this town.
I want to get a truck.
Pack everything I can in it..
Drive to a town I’d be happy..
And stay… Away from this stupid place.
Somewhere my happiness might count.
Somewhere I could be real and it count.
Somewhere I might be recognized.

One unhappy guy.

You always told me that I was a terrible liar. Turns out that might not be so true. I lie all the time now. People ask so many questions and I know better than to tell the truth. “Are you two still friends?” They say.
“Yeah, we’re okay.” I reply.
“Do you miss him at all?” They say.
“Not really anymore. We both moved on.” I tell them.
“Do you think you would get back with him if he wanted to?” They ask.
“No. Never.” I lie through my teeth.

If I told them the truth, the truth would reach you in a matter of minutes. People talk too much. So I lie to them, to my friends, and even to you. Remember when I told you that I didn’t love you anymore?
In the coldness of your eyes, I knew you believed me. Don’t beat yourself up over it though, it was such a good lie I even believed it for a while. But lies always unravel in time.

—  Little white lies

As stupid as it sounds, I feel like Robert cheated on me in a way, you know, I then think about how Aaron is going to feel when he finds out and it just fucking hurts okay, just rip my heart out and stomp on it for good measure why don’t you. After the perfect wedding and them vows a few weeks ago, we are now here, how!? It just makes no sense. Why after the character development Robert has gone through do we get this utter garbage. Like who really thought going down this road was a good idea.

Did we not have enough drama with Robert and Aaron being separated, with Aaron in prison!?

Keep reading

Suffering Loss | Open

“Fucking shit fuck.” He shouted, hitting the wall with his fist. He felt pain shooting through his hand but could care less. Jasper was gone, without word, and Sterling felt the anger raging through him at the loss of his brother. People just seemed to disappear around here and he didn’t know what that meant, where they went, but so many people had been gone an then never heard from again. He approached the door of his cell, calling out for anyone who might hear. “Someone get me the fuck out of here so I can get a drink.”

anonymous asked:

Thoughts on cryptozoology? Is there any credibility in the field or is it all just a bunch of conspiracists?

Listen. Friend. Buddy.

I have a special place in my heart for thylacines cryptozoology. I used to be the biggest UNSOLVED MYSTERIES-type geek you can imagine. I think my parents were ready to chuck me into the Bermuda Triangle themselves by the time I was 10. Then, of course, I discovered paleontology, and learned that the weird-ass body plans of the Cambrian left every mystery with no scientific basis in the dust. 

With that in mind, you can trust me when I say that yes, cryptozoologists are, generally, a bunch of walnuts. Look me in the eyes and tell me you could take this article seriously.

Obsessive cryptozoologists aside, I think we can all agree that the actual plausibility of cryptids is a matter of degree. I’m sure we still remember that time in 2013 when Amazonian locals metaphorically roundhouse kicked obnoxious scientists in the face by finally proving that their “mysterious” extra tapir species was a real thing. Undiscovered species of mammal living among others of the same genus in the same locale? Totally plausible. Undiscovered species of extinct marine reptile lurking in a freshwater loch for 65my? Not so much.

Fortunately, cryptozoology has already categorized their cryptids, and the list roughly follows the likelihood of them actually existing. The list goes from things very closely related to known animals all the way down to things that have no known basis, so that’s how I’m defining “plausibility”. Not to crush anyone’s dreams of glory and revolutionary discoveries, but if there were mothmen hiding in the woods, we’d have found mothstralopithecines in the fossil record.

MOVING RIGHT ALONG. For example, the first category of cryptid is “animals outside their known range”, such as the “big cats of Britain” - a totally plausible cryptid, since we know humans have been carting invasive species all over the planet since the dawn of colonization, losing their exotic pets, and just generally being terrible about maintaining local ecosystems. So, very likely. Why is this even a cryptid category? Who is responsible for this.

The second category is “unusual variations of known species”, such as the spotted lions of the Aberdare Mountains. We know that big cats interbreed easily in captivity - spotted hybrids of lion/leopard mixes have been documented. Could they happen in the wild? Again, it’s plausible. Less likely than the first category - known species ending up in places they shouldn’t - but plausible.

I won’t go through the whole list (I almost did. I wrote it all. It was ten paragraphs of cryptid / Dante’s Inferno crossover fanfiction. You got off easy), but just so you get an idea of the full spectrum, the last two categories are “animal-like paranormal/supernatural entities” and “known hoaxes”. Do I even need to elaborate on the plausibility of these? No. The last one shouldn’t even be a category. Throw those terrible taxidermies of a hare with antlers strapped to its head into the garbage already. Seriously.


Ugh I give up. I can’t stay away from Tumblr. It hasn’t even been a month and I’m having this anxiety of missing out??? Forget about the hiatus, I AM BACK!!! Maybe I won’t be as active but I’ll be here to see what’s going on and send supportive messages to anyone who needs it. I love you all and I don’t know, I just wanna be here.

I started sending out job applications for post-grad life. Pray for me.

you know, if honda doesn’t figure their shit out this year, mclaren really needs to drop them. they can’t sit here and wait for honda to get their shit together, because they may never figure it out. mclaren can’t sit here and twiddle their thumbs with a good car while their engine supplier says “oh, sorry, we’re having issues, don’t worry, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out soon”. you lose money that way (even though by just being in the sport they’re losing money)

i know a lot of people want honda to bring good engines for mclaren so they can ‘relive the good ol’ days with a mchonda’, but it’s just … not gonna happen. this isn’t the 80′s. things have changed, and obviously honda is not equipped to adapt to f1′s engine regs.

besides, imo, mclaren–and no other team–should be looking towards the past to bring them good luck in the future. no one should want to go back to their old ways when you’re in trouble, because you’re not going to get the same results as last time.

move on, move forward, advance yourselves. don’t try to replicate/go back to things in the past, especially when it hasn’t figured itself out

Hear me out… It’s vague, but I might be on to something.
Billy knows Flint and Silver better than almost anyone else (anyone alive, that is). He knows he has to drive them apart and he knows just how to do it. I think he’s going to succeed in using Madi to drive Flint and Silver apart by making it seem like Flint betrayed Silver. By now, Silver has so much power that the men will side with him over Flint. Flint will see his own fate as inevitable. Whether by Silver’s hand or Rogers’s or Jack’s, Flint dies. (IF HE DOESN’T, I WILL PERSONALLY WRITE A HEARTFELT THANK YOU LETTER TO ALL THE BLACK SAILS WRITERS FOR KEEPING MY GINGER CHILD ALIVE).
Anyways, I think Silver won’t notice it at first but once his rage subsides, I predict he’ll start thinking more and putting the pieces together. When all those pieces point to Billy, once he realizes that the man he considered a brother used the woman he loved to manipulate him into betraying the man he loved… Well, there’s a reason Billy is terrified of Long John Silver in the beginning of Treasure Island.

soloontherocks-moving-refollow  asked:

things I now think about too much: what happened during Anders' harrowing. How did he deal with it. What demons did he face. These are the questions that keep me up at night.

(Whoops, my fingers slipped. This is based on the headcanon that this codex entry from DA:I pertains to Anders’ Harrowing. Tbh I’ve never actually seen a fic detailing his Harrowing, so now there is one. Dialogue is also borrowed heavily from the magi origin because most of it is probably the same, given how the Chantry likes their speeches and rituals and rites and whatnot)

[Also on AO3]

It was the middle of the night when Anders was harshly woken and all but dragged from his bed. Even in his half-asleep stupor, he knew what was coming. He was of age, and he’d known it would come eventually. The Harrowing. As much as he feared it, the fact that they were taking him meant that, despite all his trouble making, at least he wouldn’t be made Tranquil. Whatever this ritual entailed, even if it meant his death, it must have been preferable than being made a soulless husk. The blonde held on to that thought as the Templars kept him moving, trying to ignore his heart threatening to burst through his ribcage.

Keep reading