i don't know if you're a boy or a girl but

Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

 Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

  • Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities
  • Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him
  • Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)
  • Picking a guy at random to be attracted to
  • Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing
  • Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them
  • Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way
  • Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with
  • Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate
  • Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them
  • Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them
  • Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

  • Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man
  • Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

  • Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

  • Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

  • Going along with escalation because it seems like the 'appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

  • Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness
  • Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

  • Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic
  • Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually
  • Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends
  • Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals
  • Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless
  • After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with
  • Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

  • Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted
  • OR: preferring to 'be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore
  • Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred
  • Using sex with men as a form of self-harm
  • Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)
  • Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it
  • Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him
  • Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing
  • Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

  • Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women
  • Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else
  • Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)
  • Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend
  • Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic
  • Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent
  • Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate
  • Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”
  • When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”
  • Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people
  • Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)
  • Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

  • Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women
  • Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media
  • Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”
  • Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men
  • Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic
  • Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+
  • Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.
  • Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

  • Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman
  • Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman
  • Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know
  • Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position
  • Really focusing on the women in het porn
  • Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’
  • Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that
  • Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

  • Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian
  • Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian
  • Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you
  • Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian
  • Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man
  • Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

  • Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be
  • Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy
  • Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly
  • Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men
  • Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you
  • Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that bc you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian
  • Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma and that means your lesbianness would be Fake
  • Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian. 

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

Stuff My Dad Said During Hamilton (Act 1)
  • Hamilton: Is this that musical that has made you obsessed with dead people?
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: If someone started rhyming my name I would leave. It's so annoying.
  • My Shot: Okay they asked who he was - this - this is not the answer to their question. Oh wait now he's spelling his name - YOU KNOW IN THIS TIME MANY PEOPLE WERE ILLITERATE!
  • The Story Of Tonight: Okay so here's drunk dudes being pals and so not flirting with each other.
  • The Schuyler Sisters: AND PEGGY IS MY NEW MOTTO!
  • Farmer Refuted: You said this was the High School Musical dude right? (Me: Yeah.) STICK TO THE STATUS QUO ALEXANDER!
  • You'll Be Back: Okay George whichever shut up and let America rebel. Rebellion is good - *turns to me* That being said ever start to rebel and you'll be grounded till you die.
  • Right Hand Man: Burr got BURR-NED! Get it? Cause Burr. Burrned. It's funny you're just being stupid.
  • A Winter's Ball: Didn't we already listen to - oh wait no this is different.
  • Helpless: Oh God I hope girls don't act like this. *I give him a confused/dirty look* I mean you should make a boy beg for you not fall at his knees. You should make him helpless.
  • Satisfied: This song is just....*exploding hand moves and noise*....Feelings.
  • The Story of Tonight (Reprise): Another drunk song. And the French dude. (Me: Lafayette) Okay well I'm gonna call him French Fry.
  • Wait For It: Did everyone cheat in this time?
  • Stay Alive: Fucking Charles Lee man. Who's Charles Lee?
  • Ten Duel Commandments: They keep saying "Most Disputes Die And No One Shoots" I feel like they're lying to me...
  • Meet Me Inside: Uh ph, Daddy Washington is mad.
  • That Would Be Enough: How do they know it's a boy? I don't think they had ways to tell in this time.
  • Guns And Ships: Rap off. This dude (Me: Daveed) Yeah him, versus like, Eminem, Jay-Z and...uh other rappers.
  • History Has Its Eyes on You: Okay this went from fun to deep...
  • Yorktown: You know we live an hour from this site...*Looks out window*...We should go and reinact this.
  • What Comes Next: Oh right. Georgey is still there. He can piss off.
  • Dear Theodosia: I feel one of them will die...just how everything is worded. AJ, do I get...feels in this?
  • Lauren's Interlude: Wait what the fuck...is he? Oh my God. Alex's boyfriend!
  • Non-Stop: This is too cheery for killing someone. I quit.
Batfam as Tweets and Tumblr Shitposts™
  • Dick: Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
  • Steph: That was deep
  • Tim: Philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
  • Steph: That was deeper
  • Jason: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a damn smoothie YOU NASTY!
  • -------
  • Tim: What if trees cried because we started eating their fruit because their fruit is basically their babies. So every time we eat an apple or something, we're eating a tree baby
  • Damian: *Slowly backs away from the fruit bowl looking stricken*
  • Bruce: *Not looking up from his newspaper* we're eating their ovaries actually
  • --------
  • Jason: That feeling you get when you're angry
  • Dick: Anger
  • --------
  • Steph: Boys are so lucky to have boners to tell them when they're horny because girls are just like damn am I horny or am I hungry or am I bored I don't know I don't have a dick
  • --------
  • Jason: If I cut off my foot and like swing it at your head am I kicking or hitting you?
  • Tim: You'll most likely mentally scar me more than anything else
  • ---------
  • Dick: Carpe diem seize the day. Carpe noctem seize the night. Carpe natem seize the ass.
  • ---------
  • Jason: 80% exhaustion 10% sarcasm 20% don't care
  • Tim: That's 110%
  • Jason: 20% of me doesn't care
  • Tim: Should've seen that coming
  • ----------
  • Bruce: *Mary Poppins voice* okay children time to go
  • [Fifteen minutes later]
  • Bruce: *Batman voice* I said let's go
  • -----------
  • Alfred: Who ate all the cookies?
  • Dick: Ninjas
  • Alfred: I didn't see them
  • Dick: No one ever does
  • -----------
  • Bruce: *Calls up pizza place*
  • Bruce: WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY PIZZA SO UNEVEN? IF YOU ARE TRYING TO TEAR MY FAMILY APART IT'S WORKING
  • straight people: *sees a baby boy make any gesture of acknowledgment to a girl* w0w wHAT a ladIES MAN!!! such a stUD!!
  • also straight people: *sees someone age 13-19 being romantic with someone of the same gender* i just don't understand??? like you can't know that you're gay until you're an adult??? why do you have to force your gay agenda on the children™???
101 fluffy prompts
  • FALLING IN LOVE
  • 001: "You're really soft."
  • 002: "You smell nice."
  • 003: "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."
  • 004: "Is it possible to love too much?"
  • 005: "I don't wanna get up-- you're comfy."
  • 006: "I will always be there protect you."
  • 007: "I'm cold. Come closer."
  • 008: "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”
  • 009: "The stars look especially lovely tonight."
  • 010: "I've never seen such gorgeous eyes before."
  • 011: "May I have this dance?"
  • 012: "I can't stop thinking about you."
  • 013: "You'll never feel alone with me by your side."
  • 014: "Let's get to know each other over dinner."
  • 015: "All I want is you."
  • 016: "I could never leave you, I love you too much!"
  • 017: "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."
  • 018: "I want to hear you sing."
  • 019: "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."
  • 020: "You look incredible in that."
  • 021: "He/She's quite stunning, isn't he/she?"
  • 022: "Sometimes I just can't control myself when around you."
  • 023: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
  • 024: "I think I'm in love."
  • 025: "I’d like it if you stayed.
  • 026: "People are jerks, but not you."
  • 027: "I'll share the blankets with you."
  • 028: "I have never felt this way about anyone."
  • 029: "I want this to never end..."
  • 030: "Can I kiss you?"
  • LIVING TOGETHER
  • 031: "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks."
  • 032: "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."
  • 033: "Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?"
  • 034: "You can put your cold feet on me."
  • 035: "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."
  • 036: "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so I’ll protect you."
  • 037: "There was a power outage and now we have to have dinner by candlelight."
  • 038: "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."
  • 039: "I just came home to you crying while watching a movie, please tell me what’s going on."
  • 040: "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."
  • 041: "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."
  • 042: "My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on"
  • 043: "We’re repainting the apartment and going to the hardware store together to pick out color swatches."
  • 044: "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."
  • 045: "We’re watching Toy Story 3 and we can’t stop crying."
  • WEDDINGS/PROPOSALS
  • 046: "I caught the bouquet"
  • 047: "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."
  • 048: "We accidentally got married in Vegas oops"
  • 049: "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."
  • 050: "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing."
  • 051: "I wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me? "
  • 052: "If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life."
  • 053: "Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? "
  • 054: "May I have this dance, wife/husband? "
  • 055: "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m so happy I can finally call you my wife/husband."
  • 056: "I jokingly told you that the only way I’d marry you was if you did this weird outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and I’m kind of charmed."
  • 057: "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"
  • MARRIED LIFE
  • 058: "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "
  • 059: "Your ‘miracle hangover cure’ couldn’t possibly beat mine."
  • 060: "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it?"
  • 061: "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong."
  • 062: "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”
  • 063: "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"
  • 064: "I know we had a big fight but we still need to decorate the house for the holidays."
  • 065: "Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it's okay?"
  • 066: "We’re arguing over book versus movie."
  • 067: "I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’"
  • 068: "We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years."
  • 069: "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?"
  • 070: "We both have nowhere else to be so we get to spend our rare day off at home."
  • PREGNANCY
  • 071: "I bet it’s a girl/boy."
  • 072: "Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant? "
  • 073: "I thought I was pregnant but the test must have been wrong. I’m not. "
  • 074: "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"
  • 075: "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."
  • 076: "I could really use a foot rub right now."
  • 077: "Your dad is really excited to meet you soon, it’s driving me crazy."
  • 078: "Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?"
  • 079: "The baby’s kicks are keeping me up at night."
  • 080: "Did you feel that?"
  • 081: "I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore. "
  • 082: "OH MY GOD I’M GOING INTO LABOR. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!
  • 083: "I can’t be pregnant… or….OH MY GOD! "
  • 084: "I think you might be pregnant.”
  • 085: "It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."
  • PARENTING
  • 086: "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."
  • 087: "Sh…they’re asleep."
  • 088: "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."
  • 089: "Mondays are your diaper days."
  • 090: "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."
  • 091: "Ooh…someone’s got a tummy ache."
  • 092: "Are you sure you don’t want me to drop them off myself? I don’t think you could handle seeing them off alone."
  • 093: "I told you we should have just gotten that German Shepherd puppy."
  • 094: "What do you think for their punishment? Grounding? No video games? No going out for a week?"
  • 095: "Mm…your kid before five in the morning."
  • 096: "Come on now, I think you’re being too harsh. He/she’s just a kid. Remember all of the stupid things we used to do when we were their age?"
  • 097: "So, how should we break the news that they’re going to have a new baby brother or sister?"
  • 098: "I think we should have another."
  • 099: "Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?"
  • 100: "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."
  • 101: "…They just grow up so fast."
Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.
What your favorite Beatles album says about you
  • Please Please Me: you're cool and care about your hairdo, but you've got a softer side. you giggle when boys look at you from across the room.
  • With the Beatles: you really like the Beatles, but for some reason you don't wanna hear them do their own songs. but you really, really like the Beatles.
  • A Hard Day's Night: nobody really knows the real you. they think you're a suave, energetic socialite. deep down, you're a farm hand with a piece of wheat sticking out of your mouth, trying not to cry. you can cry if you want. it's okay to cry.
  • Beatles for Sale: you think your friends all secretly hate you, and you think strangers all secretly love you. also, George is your favorite Beatle and you like hearing Paul scream.
  • Help!: you really like ironic humor and feeling sorry for yourself, and you think people would be happier without you in the picture. you need to understand people care about you, and you should learn to like yourself. but proposing to a girl in a jumping 12 bar is wrong. don't do that.
  • Rubber Soul: when people ask you what kind of music you listen to, you say you like all different kinds.
  • Revolver: crawling into bed, you're half asleep before you remember to set your alarm. you do it with one eye open.
  • Sgt. Pepper: people say you're really together, but you know you're not. you wonder why people think you're seamless. you have so many seams. it seems they don't see your seams.
  • Magical Mystery Tour: your parents fought a lot in front of you. i'm sorry.
  • The White Album: you're greedy and like the blues.
  • Yellow Submarine: this album says a lot more about you than i have room to type about sorry you can pm me
  • Abbey Road: you won't stop trying until you're sitting at the top in a gold encrusted throne made of the skulls of your enemies and the good wishes of your friends. you don't know how to rap.
  • Let It Be: you think you have an intimate relationship with somewhere between 1 and 4 of the Beatles in a way they'll never understand. you watch a movie again if it makes you cry.
persona arcanae explained
  • the fool: disaster kids with incredible destinies
  • the magician: no. no, don't do that. I SAID DON'T DO THAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD -
  • the high priestess: i know they seem calm but if you fuck with them you're dead
  • the empress: classy ladies who have probably killed a man
  • the emperor: they seem cool but they're all extremely eccentric
  • the hierophant: they're gruff but they care! honest!
  • the lovers: adorable pink-loving teenage girls who will destroy you for daring to think you have the right to look at them
  • the chariot: ALRIGHT CHUMS LET'S DO THIS!
  • justice: adorable children (and katsuya)
  • the hermit: vidya games (and a fox)
  • the wheel of fortune: pretty boys with secrets of varying severity
  • strength: they are your bro, they are there for you, one of them is a dog
  • hunger: HE IS NOT YOUR BRO, HE IS NOT THERE FOR YOU, STAY AWAY
  • the hanged man: jesus shitting christ that's an unhappy backstory
  • death: they're creepy but really nice, except eikichi, he's FABULOUS and really nice
  • temperance: ha ha no persona steve (i seriously think we have never met a persona-user of the temperance arcana)
  • the devil: no
  • the tower: you have issues and your arcana reflects that
  • the star: i know they seem sweet but they are hiding something
  • the moon: let's be positive to hide our crushing emotional issues
  • the sun: surprisingly troubled but will never talk about it
  • judgement: we're all in this together (and elly)
  • aeon: short-haired nonhuman girls who are extremely eccentric because they are nonhuman
  • the world: god in a school uniform
JUNGKOOK FLIRTING WITH HIS DATE : FANFICTIONS VS REALITY
  • Fanfictions : "bby girl , I know you're dripping wet for me *Pins you against the wall* I saw the way you were looking at me *smirk* I want you to be mine. I don't want any other bastards looking at you *kisses your ears* "
  • Reality : "I..uhm...I think your outfit makes you look really pretty *blushes* I-I love playing overwatch and the scent of fabric softener *mentally curses* I love you too *chokes on drink* I MEAN AS A FRIEND OF COURSE AS A FRIEND !! "

agirlcalledfrost  asked:

OH OH OH PLEASE TELL US A BOARDING SCHOOL STORY PRETTY PLEASE

so my school had this thing called “senior skip day,” except that senior skip day didn’t exist and every year the administration sent out emails in the spring that were like DON’T FUCKIN SKIP CLASS OR YOU WILL RECEIVE RESTRICTION (restriction was like, my boarding school’s equivalent of detention where instead of staying after school you had to go to bed early and help stuff envelopes advertising the summer program until your hands were BLOODIED AND CRIPPLED BY CARPAL TUNNEL) and every year the seniors were like YOLO THEY CAN’T PUNISH ALL OF US!!!!!

  • spoiler alert: yes they can? THEY ALWAYS CAN.
  • 200 years of american high school and teenagers still think that there is a cap limit on kids in detention and that you can leave after 15 minutes if the teacher doesn’t show up.

anyway, my senior year, we all got together and nattered at each other until some brave soldier (i feel like it was my friend paula but WHO KNOWS) was like “OK SENIOR SKIP DAY IS THIS THURSDAY!!!! NOBODY GO TO CLASS OR UR A SCAB.”

  • she didn’t say scab because she’s not from the 1920s and we aren’t newsies, though this story would be way more interesting if we were
  • what she said was “YOLO THEY CAN’T PUNISH ALL OF US!!!!!”
  • except not yolo because it was 2009 and drake hadn’t been invented yet except as a dear sweet boy in a wheelchair.

we also used this email system to communicate with one another that has very deeply informed the way i understand email and which probably makes it very frustrating to be my friend and receive emails that have subject lines like “URGENT” and then just 42 links to the same florida georgia line youtube video.

  • I’M NOT ASHAMED, but in that way where like i kind of AM ashamed so i’m really aggressively NOT ashamed? 

so the day of reckoning rolls around and my alarm goes off at 8 (class started at 8:05 but i liked to PLAY WITH FIRE when it came to being late; my mom actually asked the school to stop emailing her when i was a sophomore because i was late so often that their rote “Mrs. Ofgeography we are emailing you to say—” was CLOGGING UP HER INBOX and she was like “i GET IT MY CHILD IS THE MOST BORING MISCREANT OF ALL TIME.”) and i looked at my roommate elle and she looked at me and went, “you going?”

“hell no,” i said. “YOLO. they can’t punish all of us.”

elle, who was far prettier and far cooler than i was with the notable exception of her obsession with tswift’s “love story” and her tendency to look at the endangered species list and cry sometimes during study hall, quickly bizounced across the street to this shopping center thing where all the cool kids smoked in secret where huge trucks dropped off clothes for the Dress Barn. i think there were also tennis courts nearby. more importantly there was this chinese food delivery place and a lil restaurant that made HELLA BAGELS.

  • WHAT KIND OF BAGELS?
  • FUCKIN
  • HELLA.

off goes elle! meanwhile i’m like, “yessssss i’m gonna use senior skip day to watch 14 hours of tv shows and eat frozen peanut butter bars that i stole from the dining hall! I’M GONNA LIVE LIKE I’M 23 ALONE IN CHICAGO ON A WEEKEND WHEN MY ONLY PLAN IS TAKEOUT AND CUDDLING WITH THE FAUX-SNOW-LEOPARD BLANKET I WILL ONE DAY SURELY OWN.” 

of course, during this time the administration was continuing to send out emails that reminded us with increasing urgency that senior skip day was NOT A THING and that we were ALL GETTING RESTRICTION if we didn’t get our STUPID ASSES TO CLASS, GODDAMNIT, WE ARE NOT RUNNING A CIRCUS HERE. 

but i was like! yolo, motherfuckers!!! i already got into college, YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME.

at some point during the day elle and our friend ginna came back to the room with takeout from the chinese delivery place and we sat on our floor eating it and probably watching veronica mars or looking at the endangered species list and crying.

all of a sudden, elle said, “guys shut up, guys shut up, GUYS SHUT UP,” and ginna and i were like, “WHAT we have a LOT to SAY about FRIED FUCKING DUMPLINGS, ELLE,“ and elle said, "did you hear that?”

“hear what?”

that!”

‘that’ was the sound of one of our dorm moms, mrs. f, knocking on doors and saying things like, “IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR BUTTS TO CLASS IN 5 MINUTES YOU’RE ON CATEGORY 4 RESTRICTION FOREVER.” elle quickly scampered up our raised beds to hide in the corner, where a tiny human like elle could actually hide from view; i leapt immediately into what we called a closet but was basically a cubby with a flap that was DEFINITELY not meant for a 5'8” individual with knobby as hell knees.

our door, which was never locked because we both hated the effort of typing in the lock code, opened. mrs. f said, “mollyhall?”

i held my breath. 

  • i should add here that i seemed to be operating on like a scooby-doo level of logic where basically i thought that she was somehow NOT ALLOWED to investigate?
  • like, if she can’t see me, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that she could prove i’m in here, right?
  • she’ll just poke her head in and be like oH GOSH NO KIDS HERE and leave!!

you can see the flaw in my logic.

mrs. f sighed. “mollyhall, i know you’re in here, i literally heard your voice ten seconds ago.”

  • there’s no WAY she guesses i’m in the closet!!!

“mollyhall, i know you’re in the closet.”

  • NO YOU DON’T
  • I AM SCHRÖDINGER’S SENIOR

“mollyhall—”

there was a creak. mrs. f stopped. it wasn’t actually a “creak,” so much as this like, prolonged groan? like it’s the sound an elephant would make if it sat on a really large accordion.

i poked my head out of the closet. mrs. f looked at me. elle sat up.

i said, “where’s ginna?”

  • YOU KNOW WHERE GINNA WAS.

“um,” said elle, “she’s in the—”

  • GINNA NO

ginna yes.

i really wish i could describe the sound the ceiling made when it collapsed. it sounded a lot like the way losing your breath feels. i sort of remember ginna falling in like, really slow motion, like i could see the expression on her face. i didn’t really think about how i would describe this in words. ginna’s face said:

  • oh no.
  • what have i done?
  • this was a mistake. 
  • i regret a series of decisions that i have made.
  • is there a way out of this?
  • are those oreos under mollyhall’s pillow?
  • why are there oreos under mollyhall’s pillow?
  • mollyhall, you HAVE a food cupboard, what good is a food cupboard if you don’t—
  • oh, crap.

she belly flopped onto the floor. i mean, the girl bounced. and then she just laid there. mrs. f looked at her. elle looked at her. i looked at her, still mostly in the closet. we were all going to get category 4 restriction forever.

ginna said, “hi, mrs. f. i feel like i should explain.”

One Direction Asks
  • What Makes You Beautiful: Name three things you love about yourself.
  • Gotta Be You: Talk about your crush!
  • One Thing: What's one thing your dream girl/boy HAS to have?
  • More Than This: What's the bravest thing you ever did?
  • Up All Night: Talk about the craziest night of your life.
  • I Wish: What's your biggest dream?
  • Tell Me A Lie: What was your most recent lie?
  • Taken: Talk about your last relationship.
  • I Want: Name three things you want in life
  • Everything About You: Who's your biggest celebrity crush?
  • Same Mistakes: What's your most common mistake?
  • Save You Tonight: Which three things would you save if there was a fire?
  • Stole My Heart: Have you ever fallen for someone you shouldn't have fallen for?
  • Stand Up: What's your favourite sport?
  • Moments: Talk about something good that recently happened to you.
  • Another World: Which fictional world would you want to live in if you could?
  • Na Na Na: What's one thing you can never say no to?
  • I Should Have Kissed You: Is there something you regret?
  • Live While We're Young: Talk about a childhood memory.
  • Kiss You: Tell the story of your first kiss.
  • Little Things: Name five things you find attractive in others.
  • C'Mon, C'Mon: What's your dream destination for a good vacation?
  • Last First Kiss: Do you want to get married? If so, talk about your dream wedding.
  • Heart Attack: Are you jealous?
  • Rock Me: List your ten favourite bands.
  • Change My Mind: Are you good at making final decisions or do you easily change your mind?
  • I Would: Name three guilty pleasures of yours.
  • Over Again: Talk about your first love.
  • Back For You: Talk about your best friend.
  • They Don't Know About Us: Share a secret!
  • Summer Love: Talk about a summer memory.
  • She's Not Afraid: What's your favourite horror film?
  • Loved You First: Are you a possessive person?
  • Nobody Compares: Who's your idol?
  • Still The One: What's one thing you can't seem to get over?
  • Best Song Ever: List your ten favourite songs.
  • Story Of My Life: List five things you can't live without.
  • Diana: What would you name your children?
  • Midnight Memories: Talk about a dream you recently had.
  • You & I: Talk about your OTP.
  • Don't Forget Where You Belong: Where do you feel home?
  • Strong: What are your three best qualities?
  • Happily: Name three things that make you happy.
  • Right Now: Do you miss someone at the moment?
  • Little Black Dress: How would you describe your style?
  • Through The Dark: What helps you when you're feeling down?
  • Something Great: Where do you see yourself in ten years?
  • Little White Lies: Talk about your #1 sexual fantasy.
  • Better Than Words: Do you read fanfiction? If so, what's your favourite fanfiction?
  • Why Don't We Go There?: Which big cities have you been to?
  • Does He Know?: Would you be up for a threesome?
  • Alive: What's one thing you'd never tell your "real life" friends?
  • Half A Heart: What's your favourite lovestory? ( Book, film, etc. )
  • Steal My Girl: Did you ever steal anything?
  • Ready To Run: If you could have one super power, which would you choose?
  • Where Do Broken Hearts Go?: Talk about the best concert you ever attented.
  • 18: Do you wish you were younger or older?
  • Girl Almighty: What makes you sexy?
  • Fool's Gold: Do you fall for people quickly?
  • Night Changes: What's one thing you don't ever want to change?
  • No Control: Can you control your temper ?
  • Fireproof: What scares you?
  • Spaces: Did you ever let someone go for good?
  • Stockholm Syndrome: Name five kinks of yours.
  • Clouds: What's your star sign? Does your personality match it?
  • Change Your Ticket: What would you do with a million dollars?
  • Illusion: Do you believe in higher powers?
  • Once In A Lifetime: What's three things you want to do before you die?
  • Act My Age: Do you consider yourself mature?
  • Just Can't Let Her Go: Name five turn ons.
  • Shinoa: what is your type, Yuu-san?
  • Yuu: my type?
  • Shinoa: I'm talking about your type of girl, cherry boy!
  • Yuu: I don't have time for that sort of thing, Shinoa!
  • Shinoa: you can't lie to me~ I know you have a type
  • Yuu: tsk okay then let me think
  • Shinoa: *giggles* this will be fun
  • Yuu: *thoughtful* blondes, I guess
  • Shinoa: oh, like Mitsu-
  • Yuu: tall, strong
  • Shinoa: then-
  • Yuu: smart, nice, elegant
  • Shinoa: ...
  • Yuu: the prettiest shade of blue eyes
  • Shinoa: Yuu-
  • Yuu: or the prettiest shade of red-
  • Shinoa: you are just describing Mika-san
  • Yuu: pale skin...
  • Shinoa: yep, you're talking about Mikaela. I didn't know you were into him!
  • Yuu: what? No, I'm not into Mika! I was just thinking and he's- he's just adorable to look at! That's all
  • Shinoa: whatever you say
  • Yuu: it's the truth! What is your type then?
  • Shinoa: tsunderes with big boobs~!
  • Yuu: why am I not surprised?
  • Shinoa: at least I know who I'm into, unlike someone who seems to be in denial~
  • Yuu: I'm not in denial, I'm not in love with Mika!
  • Mika: *walks into the room* hey, what's going on in here?
  • Yuu: nothing, beautiful! I-I mean, Mika
  • Shinoa: wow that was so embarrassing. Good thing Mika is not your crush, right?
  • Yuu: OH MY GOD, SHUT UP
Why doesnt SOMEONE do something aobut ALL THESE FUCKING BOTS ON social MEDIA ???????????????
  • Co-Worker: *internally* The new guy is so cool. Well, I guess he's not the new guy anymore because he has been working here for months now, but he's still great. I look up to him so much. He's funny, and outgoing. He even gave me a cute nickname. He never recognizes my affection for him, but I think today is the day. Today is the day he'll realize how cool and cute I am.
  • Co-Worker: H-Hi!
  • New Guy: Hey, braids.
  • Co-Worker: Do you like music?
  • New Guy: Yeah, I mean everyone likes music. Kinda weird if you don't. You're friends with that rep, right?
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: You know, the mopey one. Dark hair. Does she like me?
  • Co-Worker: Everyone likes you. I like you.
  • New Guy: Yeah, but that rep. That rep doesn't talk to me.
  • Co-Worker: I'm sure she likes you. You're so cool and kind and... uh, Britney Spears followed me on twitter!
  • New Guy: Whoa, what!? Britney Spears!? You're fucking joking!
  • Co-Worker: I'm serious. I guess, I'm really cool now. Hahahahahahahaha.
  • New Guy: Lemme see.
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: Lemme see your phone. I wanna see Britney following you. Can you like DM her?
  • Co-Worker: You're not allowed to take your phone out at work.
  • New Guy: Come on, no one cares.
  • Co-Worker: Uh, here you go, I guess. *hands new guy her phone*
  • New Guy: *checks twitter* ...This is a bot.
  • Co-Worker: Huh?
  • New Guy: It's not the real Britney Spears, this is very obviously a bot.
  • Co-Worker: No, it's totally her. How can you even tell?
  • New Guy: First off, she only has two followers. One of which is you and the other is another Britney Spears bot. Secondly, her twitter name is Brittany Spear. Third, all of her posts are about discount fishing rods.
  • Co-Worker: Oh... I guess I didn't notice.
  • New Guy: You're fucking with me aren't you?
  • Co-Worker: *sweats* Sure, yeah.
  • New Guy: *laughs* I love you, braids. You're funny as shit.
  • Co-Worker: You love me!?
  • New Guy: Yeah, as a minor work acquaintance. Hey, if you talk to that rep later on, tell her to hit me up some time.
  • Co-Worker: Sure... yeah.
  • *later*
  • Co-Worker: *checking phone* It can't be a bot. It's definitely not a bot. Why would a Britney Spears bot follow me. I'm not even interested in fishing. It has to be the real Britney. *DMs the bot* Hey, hello Britney.
  • Brittany Spear: hi what're up :)
  • Co-Worker: Britney, I knew you were real!
  • Brittany Spear: lol hey ! :) :P
  • Co-Worker: Britney, you have to prove to this guy at my job that you're real. He's so cute and I love him so much and I want him to notice me.
  • Brittany Spear: wow hey did you kno that u can decrease you're morrtgrage rate by up to 20% check it out at www.extra.savings.ca/riwuWqoaQ/ref/100200
  • Co-Worker: Britney, this is serious.
  • Brittany Spear: Hi :)
  • Co-Worker: Britney PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Brittany Spear: do U want boys to like U 🤔
  • Co-Worker: Yes, Britney! Show me the way!
  • Brittany Spear: is verry easy just follow this link and find your way https://find.your.way.jp/4wfwf42435753g$single/trinity/
  • Co-Worker: *clicks link*
  • Co-Worker: *pupils dilate*
  • *later*
  • New Guy: *working halfheartedly*
  • Co-Worker: *stumbles into new guy's cubicle* Greeting.
  • New Guy: Hey, braids.
  • Co-Worker: Does your like fishing?
  • New Guy: Nah. Never been much of an outdoorsman unless it involves extreme sports.
  • Co-Worker: Cooooooool. Go to www DOT amazone DOT co DOT de FORWARDSLASH promo FORWARDSLASH yourdiscountnow FORWARDSLASH for 90% discount code on premium fishing rods.
  • New Guy: You alright, braids? You sound kinda complete weird, and your eyes are a little completely black.
  • Co-Worker: Actavis, sizzurup, lean, drank. I've low prices completely legal real prescription email me at colombiaeastdrugstore AT gmail.com w FORWARDSLASH offers 100% secure line. Encrypted currencies accepted: BTC, Dogecoin.
  • New Guy: Uh... yeah. *leads co-worker out of his cubicle* I'm kinda completely busy at the moment. So I'll talk to you later braids. You should probably get back to work too.
  • Co-Worker: Been rejected? I can help you. Popular girls are on hand to chat 24/7 with advice at www DOT ez DASH chat DOT co DOT nz FORWARDSLASH promo FORWARDSLASH res575929682
  • *later*
  • Brittany Spear: *tweets* Why is it so dark? Why am I so numb?

anonymous asked:

Hey, you're German, right? I've got a huge favour to ask of you. I've been studying German for a few years, and I plan on studying there for a year. Before that, I wanna improve my language skills, so I've been wondering if you could tell me about some good original German movies? I don't want to watch dubbed ones, I've heard they're horrible. Thank you so much! Love your blog, by the way.

Dubbed movies aren’t actually half bad - at least to movies dubbed in other languages. Trust me, I’ve watched both Spanish and French dubbed movies, they were way worse. This is what we like to call “Jammern auf hohem Niveau” - complaining even though everything is pretty good. You’ll find that Germans are a people of complainers; we like to complain about everything. We are never content :) 

Still, I’m really really excited that you’re interested in my culture and HELL YES THERE ARE A BUNCH OF AWESOME GERMAN MOVIES. Here are some highly acclaimed ones and some of my favourites, I hope all links work. 

  • 12 Meter ohne Kopf (a movie about a German pirate, who allegedly walked 12 meters after being beheaded in order to save his crew)
  • Auf der anderen Seite (a really bautiful sort of episodic movie connecting the lives of three families, both German and Turkish)
  • Barfuss (a movie about a girl suffering from PTSD, who is saved mostly accidentally from committing suicide by a dude cleaning the clinic she is in, and then follows him around everywhere, and they fall in love. Seriously, onely one of two movies by Til Schweiger worth watching)
  • Buddenbrooks (the story of a very rich merchant family and their downfall…a really famour book adaptation)
  • Das Boot (a movie about a German submarine and its crew during World War II. 100& must-see)
  • Das Experiment (A movie about a psychology experiment in prison, and how people react when given free reign over others. This should come with a huge trigger warning. It’s awesome, but also really super disturbing)
  • Das Leben der Anderen (You might’ve heard of that one, since it received an Oscar. It deals with surveillance in East Germany, and is, also, a must-see).
  • Das weiße Band (A movie about the oppressive and rigid society pre-World War I children grew up in.)
  • Das Wunder von Bern (This movie mixes the football world championships of 1954 (soccer for heathens who call other stuff football) and the story of a family that has to re-learn to live with each other when the father comes home after being a war captive for like…12 years MUST SEE)
  • Der Baader Meinhof Komplex (movie about famous German left extremists, the RAF and their terrorist attacks)
  • Der Schuh des Manitu (THE single best German comedy to ever exist. It makes fun of Cowboy movies/books that are super popular in Germany. You’ll cry of laughter seeing Native Americans with a Bavarian accent - which also means your language level should be really high, or you won’t understand a thing. Uh, obviously don’t watch if you think white comedians playing Native Americans is racist even when it’s satire)
  • Der Untergang (the last days in thr life of Adolf Hitler. You’ll probably have heard of that one, too. MUST SEE)
  • Die Blechtrommel (God, I don’t know how to describe this one. Basically, a movie about a child who decides he doesn’t want to grow anymore and observes the world of the adults around him?)
  • Die Fälscher (again, dealing with World War II, and people in concentration camps who were tasked with copying money of other countries)
  • Die fetten Jahre sind vorbei (a movie about three rebels who break into rich people’s houses only to rearrange their furniture and tell them to revise their morals - until one of them catches them in the act and they abduct him for a weekend. MUST SEE)
  • Die Feuerzangenbowle (THE classic movie. about the German school system. An older guy pretending to be a student at an elite high school. Also gave the name to a drink you will find a lot on Christmas markets)
  • Effie Briest (another novel adaptation about a young woman whose marriage is arranged and who loses everything when she cheats on her husband)
  • Ein Freund von mir (two guys who are completely different building a very strange friendship)
  • Elementarteilchen (about the lives of two brothers who were separated after birth, and the completely different lives they lead)
  • Fack Ju Göhte (no links yet, it only came out last year, a new comedy about the German school system, and absolute must-see, if you happen to find a link one day)
  • Gegen die Wand (a Turkish girl fake-marrying a German addict in an attempt to escae her family. MUST SEE)
  • Goodbye Lenin (a beautiful movie/comedy about a family and the German reunification. MUST SEE)
  • Im Winter ein Jahr (a family dealing with the loss of their son/brother)
  • Kabale und Liebe (a superb adaptation of Schiller’s play. bsjdhkdjk)
  • Kebab Connection (…I don’t even know how to describe this movie. Just watch it. Very multi/transcultural and hilarious)
  • Keinohrhasen (a douche has to do community service at a kindergarten - and finds that the girl he used to bully as a kid is now his superior. uh-oh. It’s super funny)
  • Kirschblüten - Hanami  (a dude travelling to Japan to understand and be close to his late wife) 
  • Lola rennt ( a movie about a couple in a dangerous situation - and three possible outcomes)
  • Schiller (ah boy, this was a TV production, so I couldn’t find a link. A brilliant movie about the life of Germany’s best playwright, if you ask me)
  • Soul Kitchen (a comedy about a guy trying to keep his restaurant afloat and keeping his brother out of a life of petty crime)
  • Sophie Scholl - die letzten Tage (a movie about the last days in the life of Sophie Scholl and her brother, who were part of the resistance against the Nazis)
  • Vincent will Meer (a guy with tourette syndrom, a girl with an eating disorder and a guy with OCD break out of their psychiatric clinic to go to the sea. MUST SEE)
  • Was nützt die Liebe in Gedanken? ( a movie based on a real story, about a group of teenagers vowing to commit suicide once they do not feel any love anymore)
  • Wer früher stirbt ist länger tot (a comedy about a kid who does a lot of nonsense and when told that he is the reason his mother dies, blames himself, feares that he has to go to hell, and tries to make up for his sins by finding his dad a new wife. Hilarious. Again, tho, super strong Bavarian accent, beware!)

And if you want to watch a few good German TV-shows:

  • Türkisch für Anfänger (ABSOLUTE MUST SEE TV SERIES OMG WATCH IT!!! It deals with a German-Turkish patchwork family and it is hilarious)
  • Tatort Münster (basically a procedural crime show. There are a lot of Tatorts, but this is the only one that is always good. you’ll find a lot of the episodes on youtube)
  • Der letzte Zeuge (a show about a coroner solving crimes)
Stuff I've Actually Heard People Say
  • "Yeah, I just stuck him in the microwave."
  • "My friends and I have planned a murder for after school. Any tips?"
  • "You have another arm?" "Dude, everyone has two arms."
  • "It's simple, you just gag them and throw them in the trunk!"
  • "To heck with paleontology."
  • "Can you imagine if Velociraptors had wings?" "Well, actually-"
  • "Suh dude." "Same."
  • "Guard it with your life." "My knife?"
  • "First, you need have no life, Second, sell your soul to Adele."
  • "Feet; they're hands for your legs."
  • "Wow, those sure are some nice fish scales on your facial protrusions." "You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet."
  • "It's not even good garbage."
  • Teacher to the class: "Guys, I'm sorry but uh... my dog ate your homework." *Passes back chewed-up papers*
  • "Bros before toes."
  • "Woah, Dude, is that Harambe on your lock screen?" "Dude, that's my dog."
  • "Can you imagine just walking up to someone and slapping them in the face with a piece of meat?"
  • "Hey man, got any gum." "Nah dude, I'm about to kill myself." "I'm not sure how those are related, but okay."
  • "You're made of good dirt."
  • "Stop breathing so much."
  • "All my drawings look dead inside because I am dead inside."
  • "I didn't have lunch this morning."
  • "I have a strong desire to make dictators dance."
  • "Is this revenge for the octopus at the fair?"
  • "Embrace your inner childhood." "Embrace? You've got yours in a headlock!"
  • "Make sure you have Target popcorn at my funeral."
  • "And fill my coffin with glitter."
  • "I put the 'fun' in funeral."
  • "Oh my gosh, someone is going to get punched in the throat."
  • "I could do math in the time it's taking this light to change."
  • "We were both crying; it was fun."
  • "It's Halloween! Merry Christmas!...Wait."
  • "So like, if a centaur got arrested, would you handcuff its' legs?"
  • "Yeah, and I like the smell of farts."
  • "I stuffed your heart in my pencil bag, so I won't forget."
  • "Life sucks, but at least I have my Poptart."
  • "I want to build a mirror out of spoons."
  • "Joke's on you, I don't have a soul."
  • "Boy howdy do I like eating leaves off the ground."
  • "I'd rather be burnt toast than frozen bread."
  • "When I die, bury me in a Hefty bag... but make it a pretty color."
  • "I just got a great idea." "Dress up as Batman and beat up ____?"
  • "Plan B: Cry"
  • "Oh yeah, the guy with the head on his neck."
  • "I just choked on an oat."
  • "You're a substitute for a good friend."
  • "Dude, I once dropped a breakfast burrito on the garage floor, and I still ate it."
  • "We never go stale. Unlike our jokes."
  • "They speak American."
Wordsnstuff's Writing Playlist
  • The Less I Know The Better : Tame Impala
  • Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby : Cigarettes After Sex
  • Ribs : Lorde
  • I Went Too Far : AURORA
  • Buzzcut Season : Lorde
  • My Blood : Ellie Goulding
  • How : The Neighbourhood
  • Female Robbery : The Neighbourhood
  • A Little Death : The Neighbourhood
  • The Beach : The Neighbourhood
  • Daddy Issues : The Neighbourhood
  • R.I.P. To My Youth : The Neighbourhood
  • Crybaby : The Neighbourhood
  • Fill In The Blank : Car Seat Headrest
  • Drunk Drivers/ Killer Whales : Car Seat Headrest
  • Angel Of Small Death And The Codeine Scene : Hozier
  • Vincent : Car Seat Headrest
  • Let's Dance : David Bowie
  • Life On Mars : David Bowie
  • Lady Stardust : David Bowie
  • Heroes : David Bowie
  • Rhythm Nation : Janet Jackson
  • Billie Jean : Michael Jackson
  • Gods & Monsters : Lana Del Ray
  • Sick Of Losing Soulmates : Dodie Clark
  • Cool For The Summer : Demi Lovato
  • Run : AWOLNATION
  • Starboy : The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk
  • Say My Name : ODESZA feat. Zyra
  • Silhouettes : AURORA
  • Run : AURORA
  • Winter Bird : AURORA
  • Whirring : The Joy Formidable
  • Open Season : The High Highs
  • Brand New Moves : Hey Violet
  • Pure : Hey Violet
  • Guys My Age : Hey Violet
  • Bravado : Lorde
  • Into The Light : J. Views feat. Wild Club
  • Temporary Love : The Brinks
  • Love Lost : The Temper Trap
  • Viva La Vida : Coldplay
  • In The Night : The Weeknd
  • Acquainted : The Weekend
  • Greetings From California : The Neighbourhood
  • Let It Go : The Neighbourhood
  • Prey : The Neighbourhood
  • Ferrari : The Neighbourhood
  • Midnight City : M83
  • We Own The Sky : M83
  • Oblivion : M83
  • Could Have Been Me : The Struts
  • Kiss This : The Struts
  • Black Swan : The Struts
  • Put Your Money On Me : The Struts
  • My Machine : The Struts
  • Roll Up : The Struts
  • Emperors New Clothes : Panic! At The Disco
  • Golden Days : Panic! At The Disco
  • Vegas Lights : Panic! At The Disco
  • Girls/Girls/Boys : Panic! At The Disco
  • Back And Forth : Operator Please
  • Oh My! : Haley Reinheart feat. B.O.B.
  • We Don't Have To Dance : Andy Black
  • Homecoming King : Andy Black
  • Sippy Cup : Melanie Martinez
  • Mrs. Potato Head : Melanie Martinez
  • Mad Hatter : Melanie Martinez
  • Cry Baby : Melanie Martinez
  • Give Us A Little Love : Fallulah
  • Wiped Out! : The Neighbourhood
  • Single : The Neighbourhood
  • Froot : Marina And The Diamonds
  • Blue : Marina And The Diamonds
  • Starring Role : Marina And The Diamonds
  • Home Wrecker : Marina And The Diamonds
  • Sex Yeah : Marina And The Diamonds
  • Immortal : Marina And The Diamonds
  • My Girls : Animal Collective
  • Walking On A Dream : Empire Of The Sun
  • Haunting : Halsey
  • Colours : Halsey
  • Control : Halsey
  • Gasoline : Halsey
  • Sweater Weather : The Neighbourhood
  • Sex : The 1975
  • Love Me : The 1975
  • Cool Girl : Tove Lo
  • Moments : Tove Lo
  • Not On Drugs : Tove Lo
  • Influence : Tove Lo
  • One Last Night : Vaults
  • As You Are : The Weeknd
  • Dead and Gone : The Black Keys
  • Weight Of Love : The Black Keys
  • Take Me Out : Franz Ferdinand
  • Sugar Man : Rodriguez
  • I Wonder : Rodriguez
  • Crucify Your Mind : Rodriguez
  • Tear You Apart : She Wants Revenge
  • Come As You Are : Nirvana
  • SEX : Cheat Codes & Kriss Kross Amsterdam
  • Heavy In Your Arms : Florence + The Machine
  • Breath Of Life : Florence + The Machine
  • What The Water Gave Me : Florence + The Machine
  • Spectrum : Florence + The Machine
  • Nights In White Satin : The Moody Blues
  • No More Mr. Nice Guy : Alice Cooper
  • Poison : Alice Cooper
  • Ballad Of Dwight Fry : Alice Cooper
  • Every Breath You Take : Denmark + Winter
  • We Gotta Get Out Of This Place : Denmark + Winter
  • Wish That You Were Here : Florence + The Machine
  • Love Me Again : John Newman
  • Blame It On The Night : John Newman & Calvin Harris
  • Latch : Sam Smith
  • Arabella : Arctic Monkeys
  • Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High : Arctic Monkeys
  • Cornerstone : Arctic Monkeys
  • Do I Wanna Know : Arctic Monkeys
  • Beyond The Veil : Lindsey Sterling
  • Hold My Heart : Lindsey Sterling feat. ZZ Ward
  • Hollow : Tori Kelley
  • Take A Walk : Passion Pit
  • Somewhere Only We Know : Keane
  • This Is The Last Time : Keane
  • Reptilia : The Strokes
  • Machu Picchu : The Strokes
  • Wild Things : Alessia Cara
  • Here : Alessia Cara
  • TRNDSTTR : Black Coast ( Lucian Remix )
  • Into You : Ariana Grande
  • Sun Models : ODESZA feat. Madelyn Grant
  • Goodbye : Who Is Fancy
  • Rabbit Heart : Florence + The Machine
  • Bad Blood : Bastille
  • Perfect Illusion : Lady Gaga
  • Judas : Lady Gaga
  • Talk Too Much : COIN
  • Atlas : COIN
  • Run : COIN
  • The Pop Kids : The Pet Shop Boys
  • Plastic : New Order
  • Restless : New Order
  • Academic : New Order
  • Singularity : New Order
  • Tutti Frutti : New Order

anonymous asked:

Care to share why your anti CW Betty? You're entitled to your opinion but im curious to know why

Yeah dude! Here’s a short list:

1) The entire show is suddenly centered around her and her problems. Like, I get it, she has an unbelievably stressful and terrifying life but my boi Jughead over here is struggling with homelessness and his drunken father and his broken family?? And Ronnie is still struggling with the sudden loss of her dad??? And Archie is a victim of sexual abuse and trying to find himself???? Girl, I know you got it rough but you’re not the only one.
2) A follow up of the previous reason, this is RIVERDALE; this is a show about all of the main characters (that means that’s supposed to include Josie and Cheryl too) but it’s still basically a Betty Double Digest. One of the writers of the show also said she’s their favorite character which is why the entire plot revolves around her.
3) She is literally a Mary Sue. I think the writers were trying to make this fantastic, groundbreaking character arc from her but in episode one she was too afraid to try on a new lipstick shade and then suddenly in episode six she’s ransacking her mom’s purse and breaking into cars. That’s not a character arc that’s just the writers hopping from one personality to another.
4) Every other character is constantly villainized to make Betty’s character look better. Archie is portrayed as this complete asshole because he doesn’t feel romantically towards her??? She acted entitled to his affection just because she’s known him the longest???? Calm tf down like I get it, that sucks, but you can’t just blame him for it.
5) In the comics, she’s not like the ultimate character she is here. This is just because I’ve lived off of the comics since forever, but she’s suddenly got all of the best character traits leaving all the other characters to be portrayed as incomplete, the problematic fav, or just an antagonist. Like she suddenly has Veronica’s confidence, Juggie’s sass, Reggie’s complete devotion to his friends, etc. that just rubbed me wrong.
6) Torturing and almost killing a man is not “girl power” it’s just attempted homicide I’m sorry guys
7) She’s being paired with literally the only canon asexual (and seemingly aro) character I’ve ever seen and that makes me so angry

That’s just a few lmao

Billie Eilish Lyrics For the Signs
  • Aries: Go ahead and watch my heart burn
  • With the fire that you started in me
  • But I'll never let you back to put it out // watch
  • Taurus: I'm scared
  • I've never fallen from quite this high // ocean eyes
  • Gemini: Help, I lost myself again
  • But I remember you // six feet under
  • Cancer: I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain
  • It's not like me to be so mean // hostage
  • Leo: Call me calloused, call me cold
  • You're italic, I'm in bold
  • Call me cocky, watch your tone // COPYCAT
  • Virgo: My V is for Vendetta
  • Thought that I'd feel better
  • But now I got a bellyache // bellyache
  • Libra: I wanna be alone, alone with you, does that make sense? // Hostage
  • Scorpio: You want me to be yours, well then you gotta be mine, and if you want a good girl, then goodbye // my boy
  • Sagittarius: I don't want any settled scores
  • I just want you to set me free // bored
  • Capricorn: Gold's fake and real love hurts
  • And nothing hurts when I'm alone // hostage
  • Aquarius: I just wish you could feel what you say
  • Show, never tell
  • But I know you too well
  • Kind of mood that you wish you could sell // idontwannabeyouanymore
  • Pisces: Can't you see that I'm getting bored?
  • Giving you every piece of me, piece of me // bored

swiftiesfanatic  asked:

Amazing imagines!! I love them so much!! ❤❤ I think you've even written enough to start a masterlist soon! If you ever need any ideas/ideas for a rainy day here's a couple. However, please don't feel like I'm expecting you to write all these right now!! It's more of a compiled list of ideas for you if you're having a slow request day/just want to write them -Jealous Betty -Beach day for the gang/Betty in a swimsuit/Jughead in a swimsuit -Bughead napping together -Betty's parents walk in on them

Hey! These are all awesome! I think I’m gonna go with the hickey role reversal for today! Let’s give it a try!
***

School was ending in about a week, and summer was so close Jughead could practically smell the sunscreen and taste the countless milkshakes he would be devouring.
That being said…

It was hot.

And by hot he didn’t mean, warm with a light breeze, he meant crack an egg on it, it was smoking. He was sweating almost all the time and even with the windows open the Riverdale classrooms were boiling. Unfortunately for him that meant his typical wardrobe of flannels and jeans just wasn’t gonna cut it, and he most definitely was not gonna show up to school in one of those ridiculous tank tops with the sleeves cut down all the way to the bottom, he would leave that to Reggie and chuck. Tools.

Anyway, figuring out what to wear, that was still comfortable for him but also kept him cool enough so he didn’t pass out was a struggle. He wasn’t a shorts guy, unless they were bathing suit bottoms and he was at the beach, so he stuck to his jeans, these ones had a few holes so that should help atleast a little, digging in his drawer he pulled out the only light weight t shirt he had, it was a simple white v neck, nothing too crazy, but also something he normally wouldn’t wear without something else to cover it up, at this point he couldn’t care less, it was too damn hot.

“Looking good” he turned with a smile, meeting the eyes of the gorgeous blonde who had come out of nowhere. Okay so maybe there was one positive thing about the heat, Betty’s wardrobe had to adjust accordingly as well and man was he grateful for the tiny dresses that showed off her gorgeous long legs. Today she had on a white sundress covered in pink and red flowers, it skimmed her mid thigh and he fought the urge to run his fingers along the bare skin. As soon as he was about to retort with a witty comeback, her eyes got wide

“Oh my god” she looked horrified.

Whipping around to look behind him, confused as to what had her in such a state of panic she repeated a little more panicky

“Oh my god.”

“Betty? what the hell? What’s the matter?” She seemed to be at a loss for words and suddenly two more of the gang had arrived, both wearing Similar expressions to Bettys.

“What in sexy time?!” Veronica was practically bouncing she seemed so excited.

Kevin was moving his hands to jugheads neck, before he dodged them with a glare

“What are you all talking about.”

Suddenly Archie was rounding the corner zeroing in on Jughead

“Hey ma… hey! Nice hickey dude! Way to go” he slapped a hand to jugheads shoulder, smiling.

“What! What hick..what are you.” He was twisting trying to find the offending mark. He glanced up at Betty who was beet red and was desperately trying to hide her laughter.

“See Betty, I told you. It’s totally normal to give a boy a hickey, That’s so funny, Betty was just asking me about this at our sleepover last week.” Veronica said laughing handing Jughead her hand mirror.

He snatched the mirror and held it up to his neck. Sure enough, there was a purple mouth shaped bruise on his neck. Snapping the mirror shut he shook his head

“Bacon grease, it splattered.”

Everyone eyed him sceptically as Cheryl walked over

“Oh please, like you cook. Just fess up Jughead, who’s the mystery woman?” The redhead asked.

“There’s no one, you’re all nuts.”

The conversation was stopped short by the first period bell.

“Dude, were totally talking about this at lunch,” Archie said grinning

“Duh” Veronica added throwing a wave to Betty, leaving behind Jughead and Betty as Kevin kissed Betty on the cheek before walking off with Cheryl.

There was a moment of silence Betty smirking at her bright red boyfriend

“So… a tshirt today? No flannel.”

He stared at her dryly

“Wait till all of our friends find out what a little minx you are. You won’t be laughing then.”

Betty shrugged, smiling guiltily and turning on her heels to walk the other way , she quickly turned around and added

“No one told you to wear the worlds sexiest tshirt the day after our two month anniversary festivities.”
She winked and practically skipped off.

He slammed his head into the locker gently. She was gonna be the death of him.
**

By the time lunch came around the entire school was talking about Jugheads hickey, the rumors were everywhere,

Jughead was seeing Ethel,

Jughead was seeing a girl from central

And of course, Archie and jughead were a couple (that one was Reggie. Tool.)

Slamming his tray on the table besides Betty, she jumped up smiling and meeting his eyes.

The rest of the gang was already there and they instantly turned the conversation to hickeys.

Cheryl of course instigating it
“Well it has to be someone who’s aggressive, obvi, look at that mark.”

Veronica nodded “agreed. I could never do something that good, and I’ve been told I’m a pretty fiery lover.” She flipped her dark hair , smiling.

Cheryl nodded “and we all know how intense I am, but that’s good, even for me.”

Kevin said something that had Archie practically dying he was laughing so hard.

“And we all know it can’t be Betty, no offense bets but we all kind of agree, your not really the most passionate lover.”

Before Jughead could even think he had opened his mouth “try again, she’s pretty much the definition of passionate.”

Everyone at the table seemed to have stopped time, slowly turning their heads to stare at the pair in front of them. Betty was blushing so hard they thought she might explode and jughead was kind of just lost in his own idiocy.

“B..Betty?” Archie squeaked out.

“No way you’re lying.” This time it was kevin.

And Cheryl and Veronica were just staring, shocked.

Suddenly something in Betty snapped and she turned to Kevin.

“Actually, yes it was me. As quiet as you think I am, I am very very attracted to my boyfriend, therefore sometimes I get carried away. Can we please stop this conversation now.” She stabbed a piece of lettuce with her fork.

The table went dead silent for thirty seconds before all hell broke loose.

“Boyfriend?”
“Carried away?!”
“How long?”
“How did you get it in that shape?”

Dropping her head to the table, she sighed as Jugheads arm came to rest around her shoulder, tugging her into his side.

“No questions, were dating, going on two months. That’s all you’ve gotta know.” The lazy tone in his voice left no room for argument and the table went silent once again.

Squeezing his hand in hers, she smiled up at him. This was far from over and they both knew that, but for right now, their friends were just gonna have to wait. They were happy, and that’s what matters.

What I think of when listening to the Heathers soundtrack
  • Beautiful: School sucks...nope never mind!!!
  • Candy Store: Bow down or get out Bitch!!!
  • Fight for me: Damn boy!!! You single???
  • Freeze Your Brain: Don't kill yourself, have a slushie instead!!
  • Big Fun: Parents are gone let's get wasted!! Wooo!!!
  • Dead Girl Walking: I'm pissed, horny, hot and you're cute! Let's do this!!!
  • The Me inside of Me: Ok, Bitch is dead... let's make her into a martyr!!(Aka Miss Fleming gets too self involved and helps them get away with murder.)
  • Blue: I'm soooo horny!! NO!!!
  • Our Love is God: I am God! We are god! We will kill them all!!! *V freaking out*
  • My Dead Gay Son: My son is dead, gay (shush), and so am I!!!
  • Seventeen: Please can't we just be normal, no more killing. Just you and me.
  • Shine a Light: Kids are dying, this is great for my career!!!
  • Life Boat: I'm a jerk, but there is more to me than that.
  • Shine a Light Reprise: Heather vs. Heather
  • Kindergarten Boyfriend: I had hope once, now it's gone.
  • Yo Girl: Run Veronica Run.
  • Meant to be Yours: Come on Veronica, we are meant to be! I just want to blow up the school!!! It's no big deal.
  • Dead Girl Walking Reprise: Ok, that's it!! I'm done with your BS.
  • I am Damaged: I'm too messed up! Wait no you're not!!! *boom*
  • Seventeen Reprise: I know everything has gone to hell, but let's try and be normal.