i don't know if this was posted

anonymous asked:

You know ever since seeing all of Cap's PSAs and going back over Thor's Mockumentary, I've had the idea that if Thor ever ends up back on Earth he'll see these PSAs and actually be impressed by them--impressed enough to make his OWN PSAs, either for fun, to appeal to his adoring public, or to compete with Cap's. The only way to make it better would be if he tried to get Loki to either play cameraman or assist him in his PSAs! "Get Help," anyone? ;) Loki would NEVER live it down.

“Hello, my young human friends, I am Thor- Son of Odin,” Thor introduces himself. “And I am here today…to talk about safety,” he says as he gives a wink to the camera. 

“You see, Midgardians have quite soft skulls, they are strangely- squishy…” Thor states as he makes grabby hands in the air. “And so, you must take precautions!” the man says a bit too loudly. 

“Thus, you are required to wear headgear if you are to perform any sort of sporting activity. I have been informed that a hit to the head could cause you great harm.” 

The god of thunder raises one leg up, placing his foot on a low table and slinging an arm over his knee casually. “Now, I have taken many hits to the head, hundreds! If not thousands!” He smiles proudly, his eyes glimmering.

“AH! A demonstration if I will!” he excitedly proclaims as he steps back from the table, lifting it up as someone shouts from off-screen, before slamming the wooden slab against his skull and splintering it apart. 

Chunks of wood sticking in Thor’s beard the man smiles and says, “but my skull is not soft like that of a human’s, so do not follow my lead in this, for you will die.” He finishes with a smile. 

The scene cuts off abruptly. 


“Hello again,” Thor waves a bit awkwardly to the camera. “I Thor have come here today, to talk about Stranger Danger,” his eyes dart off-screen, perhaps asking if he got the term right.  

“This rhyme, though simple, means a great deal.” Walking back a few paces Thor comes to stand next to a man in a thickly padded suit. “I will demonstrate what you should do if a stranger approaches you.” 

“Aye- proceed in the art of acting, Sir Jeff,” Thor whispers loudly to the man opposite him. “It is best to be dramatic.” 

Jeff sounds slightly choked as he begins, “hey you,” he croaks, raspy, “give me your money,” he says to Thor. 

“HA!” Thor scoffs loudly, “you fool Jeff, I have not what you are looking for! That is Stark!” And with that Thor sweeps the man off his feet and lifts him over his head, “I AM THOR ODINSON! AND I SHALL NOT TAKE THIS DANGER FROM A STANGER!” 

Jeff screams as Thor throws him across the room, there are the sounds of yells as the camera is tipped over, feet can be seen running past the screen as s few pop cans and shards of glass skitter by.

The screen goes black. 


“Greetings my young friends, it is not just I today,” Thor says, the camera far too close to his face. “I have brought with me, my brother, Loki!” 

The camera pans out so we can now see the two brothers, Loki glaring tiredly at the screen and Thor beaming brightly, smile all white teeth. 

“Today, I will be discussing forgiveness,” Thor slings a beefy arm over Loki’s shoulder, causing the other man to slouch slightly. “You see Loki has caused many a deal of pain, but he is my brother, and that bond cannot be broken. No matter the trails.”

Loki sighs deeply, his eyes looking to the ceiling in a silent plea. 

“Loki is the god of mischief, and he has lived up to the name,” Thor laughs bodily, “oh the tales we have gathered on our many adventures-” the man begins, delving into a story before Loki inevitably elbows the blond in the side, drawing his attention. 

“Ah yes,” Thor reels himself back in, “forgiveness is a tricky thing, especially when you are dealing with the greatest trickster himself.” The taller squeezes Loki in a bone-crushing side hug before shoving him off camera. “Which is why I have forgiven, but not forgotten.”

Loki storms back on screen, his staff in hand and his hair sticking up on one side, disheveled, he seethes as he approaches Thor. 

The god of thunder laughs heartily as he dodges the swing of the staff, “ah! next, I will bestow my vast knowledge on avoiding and deflecting oncoming attacks- this will be very helpful to you who have siblings.”

壁ドーン!

IN MY DEFENSE
THIS WAS REQUESTED

Netflix executive: We’re putting series one of this show up and we need a trailer- it’s a tricky one because it’s an absurdist comedic drama, but I think if you pay attention to how BBC America has structured their tv spots and think back to networking for Doctor Who we can really present things well, okay Pyotr?

Pyotr, who is very good at his job but incapable of formatting trailers in any way other than as romcoms no matter how explicit the genre instructions were: Got it.

  • Blue Sargent: Acts like a top and actually is a top. Can easy wreck you and you'll thank her.
  • Adam Parrish: Comes off like a bottom, but is actually a top.
  • Ronan Lynch: Acts like a top, but you know how fast he drops to his knees behind a closed door.
  • Henry Cheng: Lets everyone know in the first ten minutes of meeting him that he's a vers.
  • Richard Gansey III: Everyone who doesn't know him thinks he's a top, but actually is a bottom (mostly.)
  • Noah Czerny: Acts like a bottom and absolutely is a bottom. Got called a pillow princess once and he couldn't refute it.
2

bias selfie tag ☆

i was tagged by @xseokjiin :)


tagging: @sugaidc @taetrain @pocketofyoonmin @cuteseokjin @sitonmyfacetaehyung @vanillalattaes @jhopesun @hobihoseoks

Hi, I’m auditioning for the role of the Midnight Entity from “Midnight” (Doctor Who S4 E10) and I’ll be singing “Repeat Stuff” by Bo Burnham

3

Why have them just own a flower shop when they could run a potion shop and just have a shit ton of flowers in it. 

enjoy and consider commissioning

@all those saying taz isn’t a comedy

  • Lovers separated than reunited (taako and kravitz, Barry and lup)
  • Misunderstandings, miscommunications (most prominent one being lich!barry fudging up all his interactions with thb till suffering game)
  • People in disguise (leeman kesler and his entourage)
  • Clever servant (johann)
  • The drunk/stoned guy (avi+pringles)
  • Ends with a wedding

In conclusion: the adventure zone? Totally a Shakespearean comedy

  • Gryffindor: *walks into room* Good morning everyone!
  • Hufflepuff: Good morning.
  • Ravenclaw: Good morning.
  • Gryffindor: You sound like robots! 'Good morning, good morning.' Come on spice it up a bit!
  • Slytherin: *walks in* HEY MOTHERFUCKERS!

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY TEAM FORTRESS 2! 

I could not ever thank this game enough for the wonderful experience of my past few years. I’ve never dove so far into a game or fan community as I have for TF2, by far my favorite game. It means the absolute world to me, and I could not ask for a better set of murder dads ❤

Thank you Valve, for them.

#teddy #auror #unresolved sexual tension

Prompts: @foxesandwands
Author: @queenofthyme

If you had told Harry Potter, back in his first year of Hogwarts, that he’d be sharing custody of a child with Draco Malfoy, he would have laughed. Loudly. But here he was, fifteen years later, and one of Teddy Lupin’s two legal guardians.

When Harry had accepted Remus’s offer to be Teddy’s godfather, although in the thick of war, he still never considered he’d actually have to raise someone else’s child. Teddy’s grandmother, Andromeda, had taken care of Teddy originally, which Harry was glad of - a 17 year old did not a father make. Still, he made sure to visit often. He knew what it was like to grow up without parents.

Harry wasn’t surprised that Draco visited just as often. Andromeda was his aunt after all, making Teddy his first cousin once removed.

Harry didn’t make a fuss the first time they’d bumped into each other at Andromeda’s, even though the last time they’d seen each other had been at Hogwarts, in the middle of a war, on opposite sides. He trusted Andromeda, and if she, as fiercely protective as she was, trusted Draco around Teddy, that was enough for Harry to do the same. Although, he still watched closely, curious to understand Draco’s behaviour.

Years past and Andromeda grew weary. She had already raised one child, and she was far too old to be chasing after another. As godfather, Harry knew it was his responsibility to take over as Teddy’s guardian, and no longer a teenager, he felt like he was ready. But Draco had insisted that it was he who should become guardian, as a blood relative.

They had argued like they might have back in their Hogwarts days, with taunts and snide jabs, even a  few hexes, before Andromeda put a stop to it. “How do either of you expect to raise a child if you still act like children yourselves?” She had yelled at them both, her words striking home as always.

Shared custody was Andromeda’s idea, but they both agreed it would be the best option for Teddy. He had already grown attached to both of them, and they both loved Teddy as if he was their own. On that, they were in agreement, if nothing else.

These days, they saw a lot of each other. Teddy made sure of that. They hadn’t quite reconciled all their differences, but they were civil, even polite to each other. They had to be for Teddy. But there was such a coldness to their interactions sometimes, that Harry wondered if it would be better if they just went at it, like they really wanted to. Said what they were really thinking.

Like that time when Draco dropped Teddy off at Harry’s office in the middle of a work day because he had an appointment, and Harry said, “Of course, no problem Draco. Please take your time,” but what he’d really wanted to say was, “You couldn’t have given me some warning so I could plan my day around this, you inconsiderate prat?”

Or the time Draco had taken Teddy on holiday and returned a day later than expected, and Harry said, “That’s okay, Draco, I’m glad you’re both back. I’m sure Teddy had a great time,” but what he’d really wanted to say was, “I thought you were both dead you selfish jerk, you never thought to owl ahead to let me know?”

Or last week when Draco had to reschedule their agreed custody routine because he had a date on Thursday night and Harry said, “Hope you have a lovely night,” but what he’d really wanted to say was, “I hope your date throws wine in your face and leaves you with the bill.”

It’s not like Teddy didn’t know what was going on. He was a perceptive kid. The whole situation was ridiculous.

Keep reading

Houses When They Have A Crush
  • Gryffindor: Totally challenges their crush in everything (debates, sports, etc) and tries to initiate some "unresolved sexual tension" (wink wink)
  • Hufflepuff: Becomes their best friend and hopes their crush falls in love with them along the way (pretty hard not to, since they always have hugs and food and love)
  • Ravenclaw: Have a way with words (witty remarks, bad puns, sexual innuendos) and leaves their crush wondering if the sexual undertones were intentional (they are)
  • Slytherin: Stealthily takes pics of them and proceeds to send them to their best friends while freaking out (while keeping up the cool and uncaring facade on the outside)