i don't know if they have pine trees there

Billdip Week Day 3: Demonic Guardians AU

Well, this was a disaster. Bill stared at his human, not even wanting to believe his eyes.

“Pine Tree how the FUCK—“

“Language, Bill!” Came Dot’s reply from beside him.

“He’s stuck in a freaking tree!”

Dipper clutched the branch he was sitting on, the top branch actually, and then said meekly, “This is fine.”

“It is not fine, Mabel will have a fit if you fall!” Dot said back, and then sighed, “Bill, just get him down from there—”

“Why don’t you do it!?” Bill demanded, crossing his arms.

“Well, you’re his guardian, I just assumed that—”

“I can get down myself!” Dipper shouted to them, knuckles turning white as he gripped the branch tighter. Bill scoffed, but just floated back, watching his human attempt to get down. Dot looked between the two of them, and then floated away quickly.

“I’m getting Mabel!”

“Yeah, you do that.” Bill replied, still watching as Dipper began to tentatively lift up an arm to grab a different branch. Once Dot was gone he moved the slightest bit closer.

“Why’d you even come up here, kid?”

“I wanted to get a better view of the forest—I thought there might be something hidden up here and—”

Bill just rolled his eye. Finally, he held out a hand.

“You tell anyone about this, I’ll make sure you never talk again. Got it, kid?”

“I don’t need your help.”

Bill narrowed his eye, “I’m being generous here.”

Dipper then bit his lip, glancing from the ground, back to Bill. Apparently trusting Bill this once won over falling to his death and he sighed, grabbing hold of the other’s hand. Bill pulled the other towards him, and then easily floated down to the ground. Once they were about a foot away from the forest floor, he dropped the human.

“There. You’re down. Now shut up.”

“I didn’t say anyth—”

“SHUT UP, PINE TREE.”

So, what if Stan is Soos’s actual Dad. 

In the Tales to Sell My Merchandise, we have that moment when Stan describes watching a horror movie with a girl and then having to raise a kid. But from what we know, Stan didn’t have a kid around because he was homeless and then he was pretending to be his brother. Also, we know Soos is 22-23 years old and Stan who is in his “late fifties/early sixties” according to the wiki. Late 30s/early 40s isn’t too late to have a kid. Granted, he would have already been living at the Mystery Shack, pretending to be Stanford. 

Imagine Stan finally getting close to a girl, someone he cares for in a town that thinks he’s actually dead. And then there’s a kid. But Stan thinks he can’t possibly be a good Dad. Stan didn’t have a good relationship with his own father and may just assume he’ll screw it up like he did with everything else. Maybe it would be better for this kid not to know his father. Besides, he’s not even going by his real name. He’d be lying to his kid all the time. And what about the portal? He can’t possibly raise this kid and work on the dangerous machine in the basement. So he breaks things off. We don’t know who Soos’s mom is, but I think it’s safe to say she hasn’t been in the picture for a long time. Maybe no one even knows who Soos’s dad is. 

But Stan can’t just abandon the kid completely. So he starts sending the postcards he’s saved up over the years to Soos on his birthday. 

Maybe when he gave Soos the job, he didn’t even recognize him at first. But by the time he realized who Soos was, it was too late. Then Stan thinks it might be fine, the kid’s just his employee. It’s not like he’s raising him. 

Except he kind of does. Soos sees Stan as his father figure. And Stan does a lot for Soos. Making him employee of the year. 

Trying to legally get rid of Soos’ birthday because the day made Soos upset. 

Also, the postcard Soos throws away is the one he got just before Stan hired him. What if that the was last one that was ever sent? Because Stan was finally there for Soos’ birthdays, he didn’t feel he needed/it didn’t occur to him to send the postcards anymore.  

Not to mention the handwriting is fairly similar. Granted, more care could have been taken when writing the postcards. 

That and Stan boxed. I wouldn’t be surprised if he called kids “Champ.” 

Just a thought.