IN MY DREAM LAST NIGHT MY ABUSER WAS WATCHING STAR WARS WITH MY NEW BOYFRIEND
who has been my new boyfriend
through two birthdays and the funeral,
but I like to call him that,
know too well the way men steel-plate
themselves inside my joints
until my body has to relearn running.
& he knows
a few parts of this story,
but I didn’t want that man’s name
back in my bed.
just told him,
picture yourself in a theater with your eyes closed,
your own palms pressed tightly to your ears.
on the drive home,
he’ll describe each scene frame for frame,
talk about the previews, which one
the two of you should not-see-together next,
and you will feel lucky enough in that moment
you won’t notice the entire city of Portland starting to melt.
when he says it is your favorite movie,
you will nod and know it is
not worth arguing over.
(“are you trying
to tell me
you’ll tell yourself it’s true.
it’s the best movie
you’ve ever seen.