For the record, before somebody comes to assassinate me in my home, I do not think that you’re automatically a bad writer if your favorite books are [you know].
I’m just saying that if they are, it’s very likely that you take inspiration from them to some degree, and while that’s fine (depending on what elements inspire you, of course), it could also be an indicator that your stuff isn’t something I, personally, would be interested in.
Obviously there are exceptions, but generally blogs that like those books also post stuff about them, which I also want to avoid, so if you do have a story that I might be interested in but you post stuff relating to [the thing], then you probably won’t get a follow from me.
Feel free to think I’m petty, but I just … I know what I want and what I don’t want, that’s all.
And yes, I’m aware that my thing is kinda similar to [the thing] and that it’s vaguely the same genre and demographic, but … still.
Jimin’s your typical sweet, happy-go-lucky dance major that smiles at everyone and buys coffee for the person behind him whenever he can because he’s just that nice, and Jungkook is his big, scary, badboy boyfriend that never talks to anyone unless absolutely necessary and is almost always seen in a leather jacket.
They aren’t ashamed of their relationship in the slightest but that doesn’t mean that they don’t notice the looks they get when Jimin practically skips around campus with a thousand watt smile as he drags a tired and grumbling Jungkook around behind him.
Before they got together, Jimin was the sweetest, most patient person on campus. His presence alone would brighten anyone’s day. Sometimes, when he’d go to the library to study, there wouldn’t be any seats left and so he’d settle for sitting on the floor in the back. And sometimes people were careless and rude and ended up stepping on his papers. But he was too nice to say anything.
Once they started dating, Jungkook changed everything. No one so much as touched him in the halls, and the same table was always mysteriously empty when he’d go to the library. His tattoos and piercings made people nervous, even if they’d never met him before. In all honestly, Jungkook had never done a damn thing to anyone. Maybe he got in a few scuffles back in high school, a few heated arguments at parties, but nothing that would justify the reputation he’d received.
Honestly, Jungkook was just a big sweetheart that wasn’t good at talking to people and liked tattoos and piercings. So sue him for being awkward and appreciating art.
Jungkook would get up early to walk Jimin to dance practice, even if he grumbled about being up at 6am while he did it. Dressed in sweatpants, a hoodie, and whichever beanie he could grab on the way out the door, Jungkook would lace their fingers together as they crossed the college campus, never paying any attention to the people staring at them.
Jimin would always make them breakfast whenever they had a day to themselves, bringing it in to the bedroom before crawling on top of a sleeping, shirtless Jungkook. He’d press kisses to Jungkook’s spine, working up until he reached his shoulder blades, then his neck, to his jaw, and finally, his lips. And Jungkook would be awake by the time Jimin would kiss him chastely, only to be pulled back into a more heated kiss after he’d roll over.
“Good morning, handsome.” Jimin would grin and give Jungkook another peck as he blinked up at him, all sleepy and soft.
“G’morning, baby.” Jungkook would hum back as Jimin traced the tattoos across his chest, relishing the weight of Jimin on his stomach and the feeling of his thighs around his ribs.
Those mornings would be spent in bed, Jimin sat on Jungkook’s lap as they ate, feeding each other bites, even as cheesy as it was. Later, they’d end up on the couch, Jungkook in sweatpants and Jimin in boxers as they lounged around, not really paying attention to the television as much as they were to each other.
And Jimin would always meet Jungkook outside the lecture hall for his music production class so they could grab lunch together. He’d smile and wave at him from across the hall as people trickled out the door before getting swallowed by the mass of students. As embarrassing as Jungkook would claim it to be, he couldn’t help the lopsided grin that would form when Jimin would jump up to stand on the bench above everyone. He’d only chuckle and let Jimin drape himself across his back before piggybacking him out the door.
Sometimes it was hard on Jungkook. The stares and comments would get to be a bit too much and he’d just want to hide. But he couldn’t do that, so he’d lace his fingers with Jimin’s and squeeze until he looked away from whatever he’d been looking at. And Jimin would know; he always did.
As sweet as Jimin may be, more people had seen him lose his cool than Jungkook. And it was always for the “badboy” himself.
“He’s no good.”
“Look at those tattoos, he’s a delinquent.”
“He’ll just end up in prison.”
Jimin was always the first person to jump to Jungkook’s defense, regardless of how many times he’d claim that they didn’t bother him.
“Alright, listen up jackass-.” He’d scold people for saying such things about his boyfriend and it usually ended with Jungkook holding him back and tugging him in the opposite direction.
“They aren’t worth it.” He’d have to whisper into Jimin’s ear, quietly trying to calm his boyfriend’s raging fury as he glared at some middle-aged businessman from across the sidewalk.
“Baby,” Jimin would take Jungkook’s face in his hands, thumb grazing his lip ring, “I’m not going to let them talk about you like that.”
“Babe, I told you it doesn’t-”
“I know you only say that because you know how upset I get about it.”
Jungkook would sigh, knowing that he’d been figured out. Jimin would press a kiss to his lips and pull him into a hug, glaring at the businessman and flipping him the bird before pulling Jungkook away. They’d end up outside an ice cream shop, Jimin sitting back against the building as Jungkook laid his head in his lap.
“I don’t care what anyone says,” Jimin would start, aggressively licking the ice cream cone in his hand, “you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”
Jungkook would grin up at Jimin before tugging him down my his collar to kiss him. Afterwards, he’d lick his lips and smirk.
And Jimin would just roll his eyes and let Jungkook kiss him again, pretending that he wasn’t just licking into his mouth for the ice cream. He’d nip at Jungkook’s lip, gently tugging on his lip ring until he’d groan and drag Jimin home.
So there’s one bit near the end of the Genocide Run that hit me pretty hard, personally. And as with most things that hit me very hard emotionally, it was a random almost throwaway line that wasn’t written to be focused on that much. But whether it intentionally held the meaning I took from it or not, it doesn’t change the fact that I DID take meaning from it.
When Flowey is monologuing near the very very end of the game and explaining what he went through, he talks about how he lacks the ability to feel anything for the people around him, and how desperately, frantically, he wishes he did. He talks about how, at first, he tried to help people. He talks about how at first it seemed to help, but every time it was time to let go, to move on, he got scared and couldn’t do it. He’d panic and reset instead. And how then he’d be right back where he started. And he would try helping everyone again.
But it became hollow. Everyone always said the exact same things, and did the exact same things. And nothing changed. And nothing new ever happened.
And eventually, just out of sheer desperation for SOMETHING new, he decided to kill everyone. And how that was at first a relief, but even that grew stale and empty as he did it over and over again. Until he was left with nothing, and there was nothing to care about, either for better or worse, but he couldn’t let go either. So he was trapped in this world where nothing ever changed, and he couldn’t make himself leave.
It’s a sad story, but it’s also a bit of a gut punch because of its implications.
Maybe in time, the person playing the game, the actual human being behind the keyboard, not the pixel character they control, would find themselves in the exact same situation. Eventually, things in a game stop changing. Characters always say the same things, do the same things. And maybe in time, as boredom takes over, the player would also try a genocide game just for SOMETHING new. But eventually even that will become empty and lead to nowhere after you do it enough.
I can’t really say if that’s true or not. I can’t say it’s false either.
But It’s 2 years now. And a lot of us are still here. And more importantly a lot of us still care. Quite deeply in fact.
And maybe we won’t care forever, maybe the same thing will happen, or more likely, we’d be the ones able to let go and move on to other things and let go. Maybe there’s no escaping that.
But it’s been 2 years, and at least for now, we’re still here.
There is also the possibility I’ve considered, that since the insane success of the game was never expected or anticipated at all, that the level of love it caused in gamers was a complete and utter surprise, maybe their ability to never fall into that cycle of apathy and just how long they can keep going, caring as hard as ever, will also be a complete surprise that was never foreseen.
Or even more simply, maybe Flowey just needed to be shown, as with so many things, he was wrong about that too.
Who knows. Honestly I can’t say how things will look in time. It could either way.