i don't know give me a break

Every time I see a post about the MAMAs that says 

“Oh my god do you guys even care about BTS”
“I can’t believe you would let BTS down like this”
“After everything they’ve done for us this is how you repay them”
“Are you even trying anymore”
“If you’re not voting unfollow me”
“If you’re not voting I’m blocking”

Or any variation of, it sickens me. You have no idea what’s going on in people’s lives. America is breaking in two, SKorea is crumbling, there’s crazy earthquakes happening, so many countries are in turmoil, and you are sitting there guilting people because they aren’t voting in an online poll? Seriously?

Look, I know you want BTS to win MAMA awards. So do I, very much. But guilting people isn’t going to do shit. It will actually decrease peoples’ want to vote. How about encouragement for a change? Or how about asking if you can help out? I wonder how many people have seen those posts and just went well fuck this shit. There are so many better methods of going about this. Please just stop. Don’t guilt, help.

Tfw when fanfic says “his hair was silky under your touch” when in reality you know it’s damaged af because his HaIr WAs fUCkiNg dyEd LiKE 155286282926 tIMeS

A random person: MK ruins the realistic aspects of the DC universe

Me: got into MK because it had the more interesting, dynamic, and honestly just cool in general magic aspects, would defend it with my life, not to mention the fact that shrunken children are running around DC with no concrete explanation give me a break

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: les amis de l’abc are the most underappreciated and underrepresented characters in les mis, their role in the story is pivotal and the book literally could not exist without them, they carry forward the plot all the way up to the climax, they provide the core meaning and lesson that hugo was trying to convey, they’re the only characters in the entire book who actively fought against the oppressive system instead of just being victims and they gave their lives because of it, and they’re honestly the most interesting and relatable characters in the novel and the fact that in modern reproductions they either get written out of the story entirely or are given no name mentions aside from enjolras and minimum screen time at best is a tragedy

The last thing I expected was to break down in the shower seven months after we ended, crying because I did it all wrong and I can’t change the way we left things. How much would it cost you for one conversation? Because I’d give you everything I have if it meant we’d talk like we used to for twenty minutes.
—  Cigarette breaks
  • me: it's not a trick, it's a plan.
  • Friend: oh there she goes again.
  • Me*weeping*: Go to hell Sherlock.
  • Stranger: What is happening to her
  • Friend: She just saw the final problem.
  • Me*starts breaking the coffin*: No flowers...ticktictickticktocktocktocktock...soldiers...

I hate talking to my mum about money

I don’t write about us because I’m afraid I’ll somehow mess it up.
—  I don’t know what we’re doing anymore

Okay but something everyone should know about me is that I am straight up obsessed with the character of Lady Macbeth like I could write multiple textbooks filled with analysis’s about what a badass straight up G she is, but anyway back in 12th grade we were reading the play in brit lit and got broken into groups to analyze one scene and give a whole presentation breaking it down in ‘an interesting way’. So I’m with two other girls and this awkward boy named Aaron and we’re trying to figure out how to make it interesting, the scene we were assigned was when Lady Macbeth convinces her husband to kill the king and jazz. So everyone is stumped but then I started talking about how we could go at it like, 'who’s really in charge of Scotland'  and I had the idea that we give a normal presentation and us three girls just act like complete bitches to Aaron the whole time. Like we purposefully put typos in the slides so we could yell at him for being careless, we planned him talking at the wrong times so we could tell him to shut up, act really controlling, stuff like that. And the class was supposed to be taking notes to give questions/commentary at the end and you could all see them getting so uncomfortable and confused because poor Aaron was really selling it and then. We get to the end and we tied our attitude into the subtext of the play, explain Aaron was Macbeth and we were Lady Macbeth, and “he did all the work but clearly isn’t in charge of this project, so who do you think is really running Scotland?” and oh my God everyone flipped their shit. The teacher literally fell out of her chair clutching her chest. People screamed “YOOOOOOOO” at the tops of their lungs. One guy straight up threw his paper in the air and walked out of the room. It was pandemonium for like almost 10 fucking minutes and it was one of my top five proudest academic moments.

And then one of the other bitches in the group told the teacher that it was her idea and she did all the work so the teacher gave her an extra credit grade to go with our collective group “A”.

So, when I found out a kid in a different class was illegally selling soda out of his locker, I gave him $30 bucks and convinced him to pour a shit load of cherry coke thru the slits in her locker.

Moral of the story: Don’t fuck with Lady Macbeth or me

Once a Fighter...

Context: So, I’m GMing a game, and a friend of mine, who always plays fighters (You know the type) Comes to the adventure and says: I wanna try a thief. This is the result. 

Galver(Thief): “I pick the lock!” Rolls a critical fail. 

Me: “The lock is jammed and your tools are broken”

Galver: “Artnon(Cleric) give me that maul of yours.” Faces the door. “I’ll break you like you broke my tools, BITCH ASS DOOR!”

I don’t think he’ll try and play another class for a while :P