i don't help myself

Thanks @bakanohealthy for signing ???% headcanon

(it’s signing “happy” in JSL)

We stopped talking, and now I can feel it again

Missing you, it comes in waves

One minute I’m fine, then a song comes on the radio

And I break down

It feels like losing you for the first time all over again.

—  It’s 2am, I can’t sleep, and I miss you.

Walking in the Wind is a bonus song on Made in the A.M. It doesn’t fit easily into the One Direction canon; it’s not swaggering or fit for a stadium. There are no rivals, no romantic interests, no ships. This is One Direction doing Paul Simon. This is One Direction sitting back, taking a breath, settling into a story.

From the opening, stepping guitar, Walking in the Wind is unhurried. A week ago you said to me, do you believe I’ll never be too far. The song is an exchange between one who’s lost someone, and the one who’s been lost. The fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye, means we’ve already won. The latter remembers their time together, and the former insists: it isn’t over, you’ll find me, there’s still more to come. We had some good times, didn’t we? We had some good tricks up our sleeve. The one who lost sings. And the other responds: But it’s not the end. I’ll see your face again.

Walking in the Wind isn’t a sharp song. It’s imprecise. But it points at a singer trying to interrogate the loss, trying to understand the promise and the inevitable breaking of that promise. The song examines, rather than argue. It doesn’t defend against the present or future absence. There is no armor, no mechanism. Simply truth. The song looks back on what once existed, and recognizes it as a faded medium: a Polaroid.

But that’s okay! The song insists. It’s catchy and chill. The melody picks up and sweeps forward. They sing, insistently: You will find me, in places that we’ve never been. For all that the song is about, the music is upbeat and optimistic. It’s okay, it will be okay. We’re sure of it.

Harry Styles, a co-writer on Walking in the Wind, said of another song he wrote, Olivia, that “it doesn’t have to be so literal.” Olivia doesn’t have to be a person, he insisted. It could be a place. “Sometimes I think it’s cool to take an emotion and personify it.”

I think the same thought applies to Walking in the Wind.

The song is about loss, yes, but not necessarily one loss, one absence. As adults, we become inured to small deaths. The numbers we lose, the friendships that fall away, the moments we forget. All small, nearly imperceptible endings in our daily lives. So many, that soon we stop counting. We’re taught that every door closing will open another, and we whisper this to ourselves, enough so that we forget to notice if another door does open, or if the first door simply stays closed.

We come to understand these endings by containing them within a story. We accept a break up because a best friend says, “Sometimes, relationships take so many parts of you, that by the end, you’re left with nothing,” and you decide to think about the break up as you would a survival story, rather than the more pedestrian “we stopped liking each other.” A move becomes a step forward, rather than a step away; a fight becomes a miscommunication.

Walking in the Wind is trying to decide which story to tell. The one of the absence, or the one of the future reconciliation. This song is about loss. But it’s also about the stories we tell about those losses, and the ways we claim them.

Yesterday I went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend. But as we raised our glasses up to make a toast, I realized you were missing.

Stories rename themselves as we go. Their edges shift. Their definitions change. The way we experience them in the moment is different from the way we experience them in retrospect, and this is what Walking in the Wind hinges on. It’s optimistic, still, in that moment of reckoning. The song insists: you will find me. What has happened, has happened. But more is to come.

This isn’t a song about mourning. It’s about the story that comes from the mess. It’s not an ending, or even a punctuation mark. It’s a semi-colon. Unresolved.  

We may not know if it’s okay. We may not know for awhile.

We had some good times, didn’t we? We wore our hearts out on our sleeve.

We don’t have to understand.

Goodbyes are bittersweet. But it’s not the end.

Not yet.

I’ll see your face again.

-Kelsey Ford is a writer living in Los Angeles.

Anniversary Surprise

Not requested, but here’s some dad!shawn, based off of this video where Lee Brice’s wife surprised him on tour with their sons, and the boys ran out onstage in the middle of the show. It is absolutely adorable and heartwarming. 

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

Your four year old is in your arms, and your seven year old is standing next to you watching Shawn perform from backstage. This is the first time you’re seeing him in person in three weeks, and he doesn’t even know you’re here yet. You secretly flew out to Seattle to surprise him for your anniversary, and as far as you know, he has no idea that you’re here. The boys are bouncing with excitement. They’re so happy to finally see their dad again. Three weeks is a long time for little boys.  

After a few songs, Shawn is singing one of his newer songs, one he actually wrote for your boys, which is why it is the perfect time for the surprise. You put your youngest down, and tell both boys to “Go to daddy.” They don’t need any more prompting, as the two of them walk onto the stage. Shawn is facing the crowd so he doesn’t see them coming from behind, but the crowd does, and the screaming gets louder. You can see your boys’ nervousness and hesitance being in front of so many people at first, but they just run for their dad, knowing they’re always safe with him. 

Keep reading

Never Underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are better at hiding it than others.
—  Will Smith
  • Me: *puts my hand in my hair to itch my scalp*
  • Me: ho don't do it
  • Me: *starts pulling out hair instead*
  • Me: oh my god

anonymous asked:

Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock. I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson. I have no intention of being rude, but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literatures most loved characters.

{{Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock.}}

Such a shame that you think that a great and interesting woman character ruined your interpretation of Sherlock. Even with yer preconceived notion that Sherlock and Watson were gay and in love, I think you could have still enjoyed MG and SM version of Mary Watson. Mary brought love into John’s life and made him happy when he was sadly mourning Sherlock’s death. She gave him a beautiful daughter and most importantly, she became best friends with Sherlock too.

That is the most important part because up until then, Sherlock was the only close and trusted friend that John had (yes Stamford was his friend too but not on the scale of what Sherlock became to John) Mary liked Sherlock instantly and Sherlock liked Mary instantly as well. 

Sherlock knew that Mary was not perfect and that when he read her that she was a liar and keeping secrets but Sherlock had just come off 2 years of lying to his best friend and was still keeping secrets so who was Sherlock to judge when he himself was far from innocent. Sherlock could see that Mary made John happy and Sherlock knew that John needed and deserved to be happy, especially after faking his death and coming back to life.

For John to have Mary in his life at that time was the best possible thing that kept the Holmes and Watson friendship going, she saved that friendship because she knew how much they needed each other, she knew how important that friendship was to each of those men. The addition of Mary Morstan to the Holmes and Watson orbit was not about dividing these best friends, it was about enhancing it, about helping it grow to the next level, which was the brotherly bond that Sherlock and John had.

It was Mary who saved that friendship not once, but twice.

It’s all fine and good you think Sherlock and John were in love, I wouldn’t tell you that yer wrong. If that is yer interpretation of these two characters then, awesome. BUT that shouldn’t cloud yer judgement and enjoyment of the character of Mary Watson because even in the ACD canon stories Sherlock liked Mary. And in BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes loved and protected Mary Morstan Watson. She was his 2nd best friend and they had a bond that was totally real because they both understood each other.

They were very much flawed but they wanted to be better people and they became better people because they had one common denominator, and that was their love for John Watson. And both of them lied and did things to protect John from their truths. They didn’t judge each other and they didn’t have impossible expectations of what a friendship was supposed to be. Sherlock and Mary did the best they could. That is why their friendship worked perfectly.

{{I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson.}}

Honestly I probably won’t ever read the books. My husband who is a huge fanboy of Sherlock Holmes on the scale of the Mofftiss, tried to get me into Sherlock LONG ago but failed. I only became interested in watching Sherlock when I fell in love with Benedict and then fell in love with the BBC version of Sherlock. The writing, the setting of London, the actors that use their talents to bring these wonderful characters to life. The BBC version of Sherlock is the only version I’d ever be into. Fingers cross we will get S5 because S4 was AH-mazing! and I loved every minute of it and I’d love to see them expand on Eurus and explore more of the Holmes Family narrative. I’d love to see John and Rosie interact more, I’d love to see Irene Adler make a surprise appearance and cause some playful trouble for Sherlock AND I want to see how the Molly and Sherlock dynamic continues, now that we know they both love each other. I’d like to see where that love takes them..

{{I have no intention of being rude,but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literature’s most loved characters.}}

Anon, no rudeness taken! But I believe you are confusing interpretation with truth. The version of Holmes and Watson, YOUR interpretation is that you believe they are and have always been in love. That they are gay and that is the way ACD wrote them to be, gay on the down low because back then homosexuality was not acceptable. Well, the truth is, ACD modeled these 2 men after people he knew in his real life. And gave them personality traits of the people he knew in that life. We don’t know what the truth was about them. All ACD gave us was the stories of 2 men and their ridiculous adventures and it’s up to the reader on how they want to view this 100+ year old relationship between the world’s only consulting detective and a doctor who became his trusted confidant and documenter of their adventures together.

Thanks for stopping by!

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*