i don't have to do this but i don't want to spoil things for you

anonymous asked:

Ken, the paparazzi who spoils things correctly, is going around saying that olicity has moments post 520 but that they don't end the season officially reunited (that second half was said in DMs). People are speculating they'll end it in a good place like 223, but I think they're making a big mistake because another hiatus where they're not together is too much for me. Even if in a good place, by 601 months will have passed. I don't think he's lying, so what do you make of this?

Whoa nelly! I just took a peek at my inbox and I have at least 30 asks regarding this.

So I’m going to answer this now. Just so I can get to other questions on Thursday or it frees people up to ask me something else if they’d like. SPOILERS AHEAD!

So, I disagree with your assertion that Ken or Canadagraphs spoil things correctly. 

Yes, they do spoil things correctly sometimes. Especially when accompanied by photographic evidence. However, they don’t spoil things correctly ALL the time. They get it wrong just plenty.

I read the exchange on Twitter. Ken was pretty clear that he was making an assumption based on what he’s seen so far. He literally used the word assumption folks. This is not concrete information. This is just what he’s cobbled together from whatever he’s seen.

In another ask I received the Anon said Ken and CG get scripts. Uhhh… I don’t think that’s entirely accurate. I’m not sure what the technical term is, but I’m just going to make one up. I think what CG and Ken get their hands on a lot is a shooting schedule. I think there’s a brief description of what’s going to be shot/ the overall scene, location etc, but I don’t think they are walking around with complete scripts. That is just my assumption based on what I’ve cobbled together.

Ken spoiled the 2x23 kiss before we knew about it. That’s true. However, I think he confirmed he got it from the shooting schedule and the scene description. It was the same for the 5x20 love scene. He got that off a shooting schedule and scene description, but he wasn’t looking at the script. Ken also said FOR SURE that the 5x20 love scene was in present day. There was nothing in the scene description to indicate otherwise. But he was wrong. It is not a present day love scene. It’s a flashback. Confirmed by Marc Guggenheim. 

So… do I think his assumption is right? No. I do not. I don’t know what information he has. I don’t know what he’s basing these assumptions off of, but here’s how I look at the paparazzi. I am skeptical of pretty much everything they say unless they back it up with photographic evidence - like LL’s death. There’s been multiple times they’ve whipped the fandom into a frenzy and the information was inaccurate. There’s been times they have been accurate, but they are not the only source of information I go off of.

Let’s just put aside all the evidence on the show, which as you all know I believe is the most important piece. We’ve had other confirmations of Olicity’s reunion. I’d encourage everyone to read my HFVV Chicago post if you haven’t. David Ramsey flat out said Olicity reunites before the finale. No, Laura did not misunderstand him. I did not misunderstand David when I spoke to him at HVFF. When has David ever lied to us? Umm… never. David tells it like it is. Given that he has read all the scripts, I feel like David Ramsey is a pretty reliable source.

Marc confirmed back in JULY at SDCC they are rebuilding Olicity. That’s honestly the only spoiler I needed folks. The rest has all been extra. From my perspective that’s exactly what they are doing this season, but we’re going to dig deep into the rebuild in 5x20. All the spoilers for 5x20 seem to indicate that Olicity addresses their issues. This is NOT something they did in the fourth season when Arrow had every intention of putting them on pause. You don’t have the characters address the issues and then pause. That’s illogical from a narrative perspective. The reason why Olicity’s issues haven’t been addressed until now is because they didn’t want to reunite them until the end of the season. It’s just that simple. It’s a television show. May Sweeps is still a thing. The whole reason Arrow is circling back to these “issues” is to reunite them. I have zero doubt.

Keep reading

Masquerade III: The Rules of the Game -- Part 1 (Jungkook x Reader x another BTS member)

One must know the rules of the game, in order to come and play.

!! If you haven’t, please read the first two sagas in this series: MASQUERADE  & Masquerade II !! [There will be spoilers if you read this story first.]

Summary: With Club Masquerade’s original hosts “graduating” one at a time, it’s up to the newcomers to pick up the slack and keep the customers happy. And who better to take the reins than the notorious Red Mask’s prodigy, Jeon Jungkook. But things become a bit difficult when you come into the picture, with your desire to do research on the rules of love and dating through your experience with your host. Will Jungkook be able to satisfy your curiosities… or will someone else?

Jungkook x Reader x BTS member [Read on to find out who >:P] (ft. Jimin & Hoseok)
CEO au, Host au, Cop!Kook au 
Fluff & Smut 

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

A/N: Hey everyone ~ it’s baccckkk! :) That’s all haha blessing your weekend with part 1! Enjoy!

Originally posted by jungkookfortunekookies

           "Crap.“ You exhaled as you pulled over to the side of the road, seeing the blaring lights of red and blue following you. Groaning, you parked your car and leaned your head back into your seat. No longer than a few seconds later, a police officer knocked on your window. Clearing your throat to compose yourself, you rolled your driver’s side window down.

           "Miss. You were going over the speed limit.” The officer stated, pulling out his notepad and hovering his pen over the ticket he was about to give you.

           "It’s hardly ‘over’ the speed limit if it’s 5 over.“ You argued.

           His eyes shot up to you, possibly surprised by your attitude. "You know, normally, this is when women beg me to let them go, not argue with my initial statement.”

           "Well, Officer…“ You leaned over to read his badge closely. ”…Jeon. I don’t think I need to beg if the reason you’re stopping me wasn’t exactly a direct violation in the first place.“

           "Give me your license.” he huffed and you grabbed your wallet to do so. “Alright, Ms. Y/N. Since this seems to be your first transgression, I’ll give you a chance to appeal to me. I’m in a good mood today.”

           You gave him a face of disbelief as he smugly smirked at you.

           "Do you normally harass women while you’re in uniform?“

           His eyes widened and he scoffed. "You know most people would be thankful I’m being lenient. 5 over or more– it’s still over the speed limit on this road. Do you want a ticket or not?”

           "Of course I don’t want a ticket. But what exactly would 'appealing’ to you entail? I have no idea what you find appealing, considering we’re strangers.“ You reasoned nonchalantly.

           That seemed to stump him because he was silent for a few seconds.

           "I don’t know! Be cute or something? Compliment me? That’s what other women do. You could even start crying for all I care.” he listed as he scratched his neck sheepishly.

           Your expression turned into one of disapproval. “And that works?”

           "Well…yeah…“

           "Um okay…” You prepared yourself seriously by taking a deep breath, and then turned to flash him your brightest smile. This was torture for you.

           It was his turn to give you a look of disapproval.

           "No…not appealing.“

           You huffed at his rejection then hurriedly poked your cheeks and batted your lashes, mimicking the way women on TV acted cute. The Officer chuckled and shook his head, clearly more amused than appealed.

           "Sorry. Can’t help you. You have no appeal whatsoever.” he scribbled into his notepad and ripped the ticket. “It won’t add points if you pay the fine.”

           "Are you serious?“ You glared.

           "Oh, quite serious.” he laughed. “Maybe you should try finding other ways to appeal to men.”

           "I have a lot of appeal!“ You argued.

           He snorted. "Sure you do.”

           "You’re terribly rude for an officer of the law.“

           "And you’re terribly unapologetic for someone who’s broken the law.” he chucked the paper inside your car carelessly as he leaned through your window, his face close to yours arrogantly.

           You two stared at each other intently; you, annoyed while his eyes had a glint of mischief and intrigue in them. He was clearly enjoying having the upper hand in this battle of wits.

           Suddenly, a car zoomed by the two of you and you exhaled, pointing at it.

           "That guy was like TWENTY over the speed limit, and you’re not chasing him? Seriously??“

           "I’m currently busy at the moment.” The Officer shrugged, and after a quick glance around your car, he scrunched his face. “You should also clean up your car. Are you trying to run a garbage truck?”

           You chuckled in disbelief. “I’m pretty sure you’re breaking the law of proper etiquette right now, Officer Jeon.”

           "Etiquette goes both ways, Miss Y/N.“ The Officer knocked on your car playfully and began walking away. "Have a wonderful day ~”

           You groaned, irritated.


           "Hey Jungkook! You’re back a little late from your patrol.“

           Jungkook grinned as one of his fellow cops handed him a bottle of water. "I had a speeding incident down the road.”

           "Ooo was it a woman? Did you let them go again?“

           "No!” he huffed. “I actually gave her a ticket this time!”

           "Ohhh~ wow, Jungkook, you’re growing up!“ his fellow officers cooed as they ruffled his hair. "You couldn’t even look at women on your first patrol, and then you let them go out of pure terror and panic if they so much as touched your arm.”

           Jungkook blushed and swatted their arms away from babying him. “I wasn’t in panic!”

           "Oh please, Kook, your eyes were as wide as saucers!“ one of the guys pulled him into a headlock. "And if they started crying, you flailed your arms wildly and called in for back up.”

           Everyone roared with laughter. Jungkook easily pried himself out of the headlock and frowned.

           "That was back then!“

           "Good work, Jungkook. You’re on your way.” One of the senior officers, who just so happened to be female, smiled warmly at him. He stiffened and nodded until she disappeared from the premises.

           His fellow officers snorted at his obviously panicked reaction. He turned and glared at them, but they scrambled to return to their computers, appearing to look busy. None of them wanted to fall victim to Jungkook’s wrath. As much as they hated to admit it, even though he was the youngest officer, he was the most fit, capable, and handsome of them all, passing the physical exam with unprecedented ease.

           "Was the girl you gave a ticket cute?“ One of his closest friends turned and changed the subject.

           Jungkook hummed as he sat down. "Mmm…”

           He chuckled, envisioning how you had tried to act cute before.

           "She wasn’t appealing at all.“  


           "It’s unlike you to be late, Y/N.” Jimin smiled as you finally made it to your cubicle.

           "I’m sorry Mr. Park. I got pulled over by a cop.“ You admitted and he blinked curiously.

           "Why?”

           "He claimed I was speeding when I wasn’t, and I ended up getting a ticket because I didn’t beg for forgiveness.“ You huffed.

           "Oh Y/N.” Jimin patted your head sympathetically. “You need to use your charms, even if they were in the wrong.”

           "I tried but…“ You sulked.

           "But?” Jimin leaned against your desk.

           "He said I had no appeal whatsoever.“ You stated sourly.

           Jimin burst into laughter, causing the other workers to look over at you two.

           "Sorry! Just intern stuff!” he bellowed, easing the other people’s curiosities. “Seriously. You crack me up, Y/N. I’m glad I agreed to having you intern here.”

           Hoseok coughed, appearing beside Jimin. “I believe I was the one that took her under my wing because someone decided they wanted to run away to Daegu for who knows how long and abandoned me!”

           "You won’t leave that alone, Hoseok!“ Jimin snapped.

           You smiled shyly as your bosses bickered in front of you. You were already used to it by now.  

           "Oh Mr. Jung. I had a few questions about the paperwork you had me fill out yesterday.” You knew how to stop their childish banter easily.

           Hoseok brightened immediately since you were seeking his counsel, while Jimin walked away coolly because he didn’t want to be bothered by work-related questions so early in the morning. You giggled. They were easy to figure out.

           You had been working as the company’s intern for a few months already. At first, you were under Mr. Jung since Mr. Park had temporarily been needed at a different branch, but as soon as he returned, they fought over who would be mentoring you. In the end, they settled on you shadowing Mr. Jung in the morning and Mr. Park in the afternoon. And you had no qualms about the dual mentorship. You thoroughly enjoyed learning– the process, the actual gaining of new skills and information, the effective application – so you were grateful that you had two fantastic role models to teach you.

           A lot of your university classmates wanted to strangle you for getting so lucky with your internship. Not only was the company well-known, but so were the CEOs you were under.

           "Mr. Jung.“ You called as he was scribbling corrections on your paperwork.

           "Hm?”

           "Am I unappealing?“ You asked bluntly.

           His eyes widened. "Wh-what?”

           "Someone told me I had no appeal this morning. Do you think I’m lacking in appeal?“

           Hoseok coughed and peeked outside of your cubicle, making sure no one was listening in. He smiled warmly and put his pen down.

           "Y/N. Everyone has different types of appeal. It’s good to learn about other things, which you’re really good at, but it’s better if you learn about yourself first.”

           "Learn about myself?“

           "Yeah, like hmm…hold on.” Hoseok stood up. “Mr. Park, I have a question about your charm.”

           Jimin jumped out of his office with a wide grin. “My charm? Which charm? I have plenty.”

           Hoseok gave you a knowing expression and you chuckled. Jimin skipped towards you two.

           "It’s important to know your strengths and weaknesses, Y/N. As both a business worker and as a person. You should use your strengths as your appeal and work to improve or compensate your weaknesses.“ Hoseok tapped on the paperwork in front of you. "Kind of like how we revise these papers. We keep what’s convincing and edit what’s not. Although you should be careful about being overly appealing.”

           He shot a look at Jimin, who smirked.

           "You have a problem with my overflowing appeal, Mr. Jung?“ Jimin cocked up an eyebrow.

           "It’s good to know you have it, but don’t flaunt it too much.” Hoseok commented to you.

           "But you didn’t answer my question.“ You emphasized.

           "What question?” Jimin questioned.

           "She asked if she was appealing.“ Hoseok blushed as he lay a hand on Jimin’s shoulder. "This is your forte so I’ll leave it to you. I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with my young intern.”

           Jimin shook his head. “Oh Hoseok, so naive. Don’t worry Y/N. You’re definitely appealing! But what Mr. Jung is trying to say is that you have to believe in your appeal before you can go appealing people.”

           "Interesting.“ You hummed.

           "Think of it like your resume for people.” Jimin pointed.

           "Resume for people?“ You repeated, still puzzled.

           "Yeah, you have to know why people like you and play that as your strength. Like me, I know I’m incredibly handsome and friendly, and that’s why people like me. If ever, let’s say, someone accuses me of doing something wrong, I know I could use my looks and sweet words to get out of trouble.”  

           "So… manipulate people?“

           Hoseok snorted and Jimin scratched the back of his head.

           "I guess in blunt terms, yes. But it’s kind of a survival skill.” he chimed. “You need it to survive in the real world.”

           "Survival skill…“ You mumbled, thinking deeply.

           "Y/N, don’t–” Hoseok was about to protest, but Jimin’s hand covered his mouth.

           "I see. It’s quite important for me to learn my own appeal.“ You stated determinedly. "As a matter of survival.”

           "Yes, yes, exactly.“ Jimin nodded fervently.

           "You’re such a jackass.” Hoseok hissed.

           "It’s for her own good.“ Jimin nudged.

           You beamed happily. "Thank you, Mr. Park, Mr. Jung!”

           The two blushed and chuckled, patting your head encouragingly.

           "You two are so weak for the intern.“ Silver appeared beside them with her arms crossed.

           Hoseok flinched and removed his hand from your head, settling beside his girlfriend. On the other hand, Jimin latched onto you and embraced you tightly from behind.

           "It’s cause she’s so cute and clueless about the evils of this world.” he giggled as he nuzzled his face next to yours while you sat there stoically, mulling over his statement instead of his actions.

           Silver rolled up the papers she had on hand and started whacking Jimin with it in between her words.

           "Get-off-her-that-is-in-a-ppro-priate!“

           Jimin cackled and let go of you. "You’re no fun, Silver. She doesn’t mind, right?”

           You shook your head. “I don’t feel anything when it happens so I don’t mind.”

           Hoseok burst into laughter while Jimin clutched his chest, feigning pain at your words.

           Silver smiled at you, amused. “There are only a few women who could say that and honestly mean it, Y/N. You amaze me.”

           "Thank you.“ You bowed gratefully. "Mr. Park told me you had fallen for his charms before too, so I consider this an honorable compliment.”

           Silver lunged at Jimin, but he was quick to evade and hurriedly locked himself inside the safety of his office.

           "PARK JIMIN!“

           "Now, now.” Hoseok grabbed his girlfriend’s arm and whispered. “We’re at work remember? Don’t let him get you riled up like that. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

           Silver huffed and relaxed at his true statement.

           You watched the two interact curiously. Although they tried to keep it relatively low key at work, everybody knew they were in a relationship. You found them to be a very adorable pair, while Mr. Park and his girlfriend acted more like nagging, close friends whenever you saw them together. But you guessed that every relationship worked differently because regardless of how they treated each other, they all seemed very happy and in love.

           Love, huh?

           You shook your head and turned your attention back to your paperwork, pushing your thoughts to the side for now.  


           Needless to say, you took a different route to work the next day, still feeling a bit sour about the rude cop you had run into. You pushed the speaker button on your car as you spotted Mr. Park’s name light up on your dashboard.

           "Good morning, Mr. Park.“ You greeted.

           "Hey Y/N! Are you on your way to work right now?”

           "Yes.“

           "Have you passed the cafe yet by any chance?”

           "Not yet. Are you running late again today, Mr. Park?“

           Jimin chuckled guiltily. "I might have snoozed my alarms a few times.”

           "I shall pick up your usuals.“ You stated knowingly.

           "You’re the best.”

           "But I don’t think your girlfriend will be very pleased.“

           "Eh, it’s her fault for not sleeping over. I don’t even know why she doesn’t just move in yet.” he grumbled.

           "Mr. Park, please leave your personal matters at home.“

           Jimin laughed. "Get something for yourself too, Y/N. I’ll pay you back later.”

           "Will do.“ You hummed as you signaled to turn into the cafe. "I’m turning into the shop now.”

           "Good. I’ll see you in a bit–ow!“

           You heard clattering on the other side of the line and your lips curled up, slightly amused. You could tell he was rushing around his apartment frantically so he wouldn’t get scolded by Mr. Jung and Silver for being tardy again.

           "See you soon, Mr. Park.”

           You hung up and expertly parked.

           Grabbing your purse, you headed inside the cafe where Mr. Park’s girlfriend worked. There was decent line there today and you checked your watch to see if you had time to wait. But then again, it was Mr. Park’s fault if you were. You technically started work by doing what he had asked you to do.

           Furrowing your brow, you peeked over a few customers’ shoulders to see what the hold-up was. The line never usually moved this slowly, but you couldn’t see who was in the front and taking their time. With a sigh, you settled on not getting irritated about it because there was nothing you could do. You whipped your phone out and began scrolling through your e-mails and messages until it was your turn.

           "Y/N!“ Mr. Park’s girlfriend beamed, welcoming you.

           "Good morning.” You bowed. “I’ll take the usual, if you could please.”

           "Whoa, someone has a usual?“ A familiar voice bellowed beside you and once you turned to see who it belonged to, your expression darkened.

           "Oh?” The cop that had given you a ticket was leaning against the counter, just as surprised as you when you locked eyes. “It’s you!”

           You didn’t bother greeting him and handed Mr. Park’s girlfriend your card to pay. “Can I please get a hot chocolate with that?”

           "Sure thing.“ she smiled as she punched it into the register. "Do you know each other?”

           "No.“ You replied a little too quickly.

           "Yes.” Officer Jeon answered. “Unappealing girl, right?”

           You took a deep exasperated breath and gave him a slight bow of respect, then turned your attention back to signing your receipt.

           "It’ll be out in a bit.“ Mr. Park’s girlfriend glanced at the two of you, clearly amused. "It’s a bit slow because he had to buy all of his unit’s coffee orders.”

           "I see.“ You replied. This was the second time Officer Jeon had been the root of your tardiness. You walked to the other side of the counter, away from where he was, to wait.

           But he had other plans.

           "Don’t tell me you’re still upset about the ticket.” he chuckled as he settled beside you.

           "I don’t like conversing with strangers.“ You stated, hoping he would stop acting like you two were friends.

           "Jungkook.”

           "Bless you.“

           "No.” he giggled. “That’s my name. Y/N, right?”

           "Slightly creepy how you remember that.“

           "I have good memory.” Jungkook shrugged.

           "And do you always talk to people you’ve arrested or given fines to?“ You inquired.

           "Hmm…” he hummed. “…you’d be the first actually.”

           "And why would that be?“

           "Well, we have a mutual friend.” he pointed at Mr. Park’s girlfriend.

           "Does having a mutual friend mean we have to automatically become friends?“ You turned to him, curiously.

           "Well, no.” he scratched the back of his head. “But I mean, it kind of makes you more comfortable to talk to?”

           "Huh.“ You nodded, intrigued, but said nothing further.

           "Are you getting coffee for your co-workers too?”

           "Yeah. Do you usually get coffee at this time on this day?“

           Jungkook shook his head. "It varies. We usually play rock-paper-scissors to determine who buys. I don’t ever lose. But I’m pretty sure they all cheated to take me down.”

           You raised an eyebrow at him.

           "What?“ he blinked.

           "You really think highly of yourself, huh?”

           He flustered, “No! I just…I don’t like losing.”

           You chuckled. “Makes sense.”

           "What’s that supposed to mean?“ he asked defensively.

           "Nothing.” You shrugged lightly.

           "Want another ticket for instigating an officer?“ he threatened.

           "I’ll take you to court for abuse of power.” You stared at him seriously, and he backed off.

           "I was just joking…“ he mumbled.

           You smiled slightly. "I have a question.”

           "Hm?“

           "Show me how you would appeal to me if our roles were reversed yesterday.”

           "That’s not a question.“

           "A demand then.”

           "I have a right to refuse.“

           "But I thought we were friends.” You smirked. “Friends are supposed to help each other, right?”

           Jungkook grumbled, blushing slightly. “There’s too many people here…”

           "Unappealing.“ You clicked your tongue right away and shook your head, disapprovingly.

           "I am not!” he retorted.

           "The appeal isn’t working for me.“ You looked him up and down blankly.

           "Are you kidding me?” he scoffed.

           "I’m quite serious.“ You shrugged.

           Jungkook opened his mouth, probably to spout out another argument, but he was interrupted.

           "Officer Jeon, your order’s up!”

           He glanced at you and you smirked triumphantly. You had won this time. With a groan, he grabbed his orders from the counter. You didn’t miss the way the other customers were clearly eye-ing him like glazed meat, but your observation was cut short when he towered in front of you.

           "I’ll show you next time we meet, Y/N. I’m very appealing.“

           You snorted. "Well, I’ll be the judge of that.”

           He pouted and exited the cafe, visibly ticked off.

           "Y/N, your order’s ready!“

           Smiling to yourself proudly, you left the cafe in high spirits. You paused before heading to your car, to check that everything you ordered was in fact there.

           "One…two, three, four. Perfect.”

           Suddenly, someone passing by bumped into your shoulder without so much as an apology. You glanced up in time to see their profile briefly but they soon became part of the larger crowd heading to the bus stop nearby. You had a bit of a déjà vu in that moment… or was it that you knew that person? You blinked, trying to make out the figure in the crowd curiously. But your phone beeped a few times, bringing you back to reality. Hurriedly, you rushed to your car to make it to work on time.


           As was your usual, you celebrated the weekend with a stroll outside, if the weather permitted it. So today, you found yourself walking down Masquerade Boulevard, a popular place that your friends and co-workers usually frequented. But seeing it with your own eyes, it didn’t look any different than other streets.

           You stopped in front of the section that had “Burlesque Lounge” atop and you peered through the window to see if there was anyone inside. But it was empty.

           "Not open until much later, huh?“ You hummed as you read the times that hung at the entrance.

           Then your eyes wandered over a few doors down, it’s "Open” sign lighting up obnoxiously, catching your attention. Stepping back a bit, you read the name: Club Masquerade.

           "Club?“

           The name sounded familiar. You heard it being tossed around a few times at work, but you had never tuned into the conversation. What was this place?

           Your curiosity led you to push open the door where a bell echoed loudly, signaling your entrance. And immediately, you were greeted.

           "Hello welcome to Club Masquerade, where we make your fantasies come true! How can I help you today?”

           Your eyes widened as you came face-to-face with Mr. Park’s girlfriend. She looked just as surprised for a split second then she pressed her index finger over her lips, telling you to keep quiet.

           "Welcome.“ she grinned as she approached you. "Here.”

           You blinked as she handed you a rather flimsy black mask.

           "We give all first timers a complimentary mask. But most people design their own as a sort of symbol of individuality. It’s required that everyone here wear one to protect their identity and to create a safe space to be one’s self.“

           "Huh.” You were a bit stunned that you had stumbled into such an interesting place, and coincidentally, one where Mr. Park’s girlfriend worked. Obediently, you pulled the mask over your face.

           "Take a look around.“ she urged and you stepped forward, taking in the fantastic design of the venue.

           The outside didn’t do any justice to what was inside. It was almost a replica of a Renaissance hall. A beautiful chandelier, donned with sparkling diamonds, hung at the center. Your eyes wandered to the dark red velvety curtains further back where people were appearing and disappearing. The people, you noticed, were wearing uniquely designed masks. They varied in design, color, size, and shape. Some were simply designed with a few jewels while others had obnoxious feathers protruding from the top.

           "Here’s a pamphlet.” Mr. Park’s girlfriend handed you a brochure.

           "Make our fantasies come true?“ You read the catchphrase questioningly.

           "Mhm.” she giggled then pointed towards a group of men that were crowding around a table. “Those are our hosts. They specialize in different forms of fantasies. Of course everything is anonymous so you don’t have to worry about being recognized, and everyone knows the safe word.”

           You hummed, watching the group of guys surrounding one male in particular. As if seeing who you were staring at, she giggled.

           "The one with the gold mask on is our best Aggressor host.“

           "Aggressor?” You tilted your head curiously.

           "Someone who’s a bit more aggressive and experimental, for the more adventurous customers.“ she winked. "He’s one of the best we have. High in demand.”

           "I’ll show you all. I’ll get her to finish before my time’s up, like Red Mask used to!“ Gold mask stood up and slammed his hand onto the table.

           "Pfft. No one’s been able to do that. You think you can, kid?” Another one pulled him into a headlock playfully.

           "I can! I was close last time. And he taught me himself. Who better than me to follow in his footsteps?“ The man huffed and pried himself out of the headlock easily.

           "Oh boy.” the Receptionist chuckled.

           "I’ll take him.“ You pointed. "The arrogant one.”

           "Really?“ she blinked.

           Your interest was piqued. Was he just bluffing or was he truly knowledgeable? And what exactly were these "fantasies” they were advertising?

           "You said he was one of the best right? And he seems to think he’s the best, so I’m curious.“

           The Receptionist smiled, amused. "Nochu! Come here.”

           All the guys turned their heads at the sound of her commanding voice. Hurriedly, the man in the gold mask strutted over to where you two were.

           "Yes?“

           "This customer requested for the arrogant one.” she chimed.

           The man’s eyes locked towards yours immediately. “The arrogant one? You don’t even know me.”

           "Well, what you were claiming over there was a bit arrogant, don’t you think?“ You retorted.

           He grumbled.

           "Or was she lying about you being one of the best?” You taunted.

           He huffed and gripped at your wrist, roughly pulling you towards him, his face inches from yours. You stared at him, not backing down, because you wanted to test his nerve.

           "I can guarantee you; you’ll get the best service from me.“ he growled.

           You smirked and nodded. "Then I think we have a deal here.”

           Nochu seemed to be searching your eyes for something before he stepped away from you. “Put her down for my first session tomorrow.”

           "Will do, Nochu.“ The Receptionist’s lips curled up and she showed you her planner, pointing at the time slot. "Sessions can run from 30 minutes to an hour, according to your preference. Which would you like to start with?”

           You glanced at Nochu, eye-ing him up and down. He puffed out his chest and tilted his head up confidently.

           "How long do you think you’ll need to please me?“

           He looked appalled at your question while the Receptionist snickered. He approached you again, grabbing your waist and pulling you flush against him. Leaning over, he whispered into your ear.

           "I can please you in 5 minutes… but it seems I have a lot to teach you, so how about you try me for an hour and see if you can handle it?”

           He let go of you, still maintaining his threatening aura, which had you a bit taken aback if you were going to be perfectly honest. In just a few seconds, the man you thought you could tease, the man that was spouting out nonsense at the table, had changed into someone who sounded so authoritative. Seeing your astonishment, he smirked and turned to the Receptionist.

           "She wants me for an hour. We’re going to have lots of fun.“ he chuckled.

           The Receptionist nodded. "Very well. An hour it is then.”

           Nochu winked at you and tapped your cheek, “Prepare yourself.”

           Then before you could think of a witty comeback, he disappeared behind the veil, leaving you wondering about what exactly you had signed up for.


           "What’re you giggling about?“ Jimin raised an eyebrow as his girlfriend waltzed into her own apartment.

           "Something unexpected happened at the Club today.” the Receptionist kissed him on the cheek as he was cooking dinner.

           "What was it?“

           "Mmm…let’s just say your prodigy has a new interesting customer.” she grinned as she began stripping in the middle of the living room.

           "Geez, please don’t turn me on while I’m cooking.“ Jimin shut his eyes and turned away. "I’ll end up eating something else.”

           She giggled and tauntingly hugged him from behind, wearing just her lingerie. “Does seeing me naked still turn you on, my Red Mask?”

           Jimin huffed. “Of course it does. It’d be a problem if it didn’t.”

           She laughed as she unlatched herself and moseyed to her room. “Very true.”

           "Was the new customer hott?“

           "She’s beautiful, but a bit hard-headed.” She called out. “But that’s why it’s going to be fun for Jungkook. He’s only gotten obedient customers so this makes things a bit more interesting.”

           "Ah, I’m so proud of him. My prodigy.“ Jimin smiled fondly. "He’ll overcome this challenge, for sure.”

           "You know he’s trying to break your record.“ The Receptionist came back and sat at the table.

           "Which record?” Jimin snorted. “I’ve had many in my time at Club Masquerade.”

           She rolled her eyes. “You two are peas in a pod. You and Jungkook.”

           "Even if he beats me, I’ll always be able to claim that I did those things first.“

           "Is that why you refused to hand over your red mask?” She snorted.

           "It’s mine!“ Jimin argued. "He could’ve gotten his own red one. That mask is like a part of me.”

           Receptionist rolled her eyes, “I gave him my gold one and he redesigned it.”

           "But that was our memory!“ Jimin whined.

           "Why are you always a brat?” she retorted. “It’s just a mask, and unless you want me going back to those fancy balls, I don’t need it anymore.”

           Jimin paused and walked over to kiss her. “You’re right. You should’ve thrown that mask out ages ago. You don’t ever and should never wear it ever again.”

           She smirked, “I thought so.”

           "How did you get him to take your gold one? He was super adamant about being the next 'Red Mask’.“

           She chuckled, "I told him that that gold mask seduced two hott guys in one fell swoop; one of them being you. That it was far more powerful than your red mask because I seduced you with it. I was passing him the power to surpass you, and he was immediately taken.”

           "What bullshit.“ he snorted.

           "It wasn’t completely bullshit.” She hummed. “You did fall for me when I was wearing that.”

           "I’ll give you that.“ Jimin turned off the stove. "But it was your skill that got me, not that mask.”

           "But now he has his own title.“ She got up to set up the table for them.

           "What is it?”

           "The Golden Host.“ She smiled.

           "Damn.” Jimin hissed. “That’s hella cool. Why didn’t I think of that?”

           "Cause you were so intent on having red because it’s seductive.“ She emphasized.

           "Well it was!” he argued.

           "Just let Jungkook be, babe.“ She laughed. "You created your legacy, so now let him create his.”

           Jimin sighed. “I know, I know. Ugh, this is probably how a parent feels when their kids achieve something they couldn’t.”

           "He hasn’t surpassed you yet. Stop being bitter.“

           "Oh, but he will.” Jimin sat down, placing a plate in front of both of them. “I had to learn everything on my own. I gave him everything on a silver platter. All my rules, all my tricks, everything. I saved him years of experimenting.”

           She grabbed his hand warmly. “But nothing beats the original. He may know what you know, but applying it is different.”

           Jimin smiled thankfully and squeezed her hand in return. “You’re right.”

           "Let’s eat?“

           The two of them began scarfing down their dinner hungrily.

           "Who was the new customer?” Jimin asked after a few bites.

           "Rule #2, sweetie.“ She smirked.

           Jimin sighed. "Stop using that rule on me.”

           "Rule #2: Even if you know the customer’s identity, you can’t ever reveal them. Maintain secrecy.“ She recited.

           "But I’m your boyfriend!” he whined.

           "I protect my customers.“ she grinned cheekily while Jimin huffed. "I’m the Receptionist after all. The keeper of all secrets.”


           In the meanwhile, you had gone out and bought yourself your own sturdier black mask. Usually you would just read a book or watch TV once you got home, but today, you were humming a song to yourself as you designed your mask. You didn’t want it to be over the top, but you also didn’t want it to be plain. After a few hours of contemplation and sketching, you finally decided to throw in a small amount of jewels around the eyes. But the main feature of your mask would be the wing design you were going to attach. You had always had a certain fascination with wings, angel wings to be specific. It was mysterious, unique, symbolic, and elegant, very much like how you wanted to portray yourself. And no one you had seen today at Club Masquerade had such a mask, meaning you would be recognizable and individual. You wanted the wings to become your trademark.  

           You grinned to yourself as you placed the finished product by your bedside, letting it dry. A new learning experience awaited you tomorrow, and you were absolutely thrilled. What exactly did this Club Masquerade and this Nochu have in store for you? You couldn’t wait to find out.


           "Oh shit. Come on.“ Jungkook groaned as he and his partner pulled up at the scene of the accident.

           "Man, our last leg of the shift and we get called in to handle the big accident.” His partner exhaled. “Well, let’s go. The sooner we tackle this, the faster we get to go home for the day.”

           Jungkook exhaled as he glanced at his watch. “Right. Let’s get this cleaned up and settled quickly. I have somewhere to be.”


           In the meanwhile, you had come a few minutes early, not sure whether there was such an etiquette at this type of club, but you figured it wouldn’t hurt to be prompt.

           "Nochu’s not in yet, but let me take you to his usual 'starter’ room.“ Mr. Park’s girlfriend smiled at you apologetically. "He comes from a different job…most of the hosts do, so sometimes —very, very rarely– but it does happen at times…they’re late.”

           "It’s alright.“ You bowed, knowing it wasn’t her fault, and things sometimes did happen beyond anyone’s control.

           "Sorry about this. You’ll definitely get your full hour of service.” she explained before she closed the door, leaving you in an empty room by yourself.

           You stared at the pillow fort that lay in the center of the room curiously.

           "Interesting…“


           "What do you mean you’re going to be late?” The Receptionist hissed. “This isn’t one of your regulars. She’s new!”

           "I’m sorry!“ Jungkook groaned. "I’m dying over here too, but there was a big accident that involved three cars so it’s taking awhile. I really want to show her that I’m not bluffing about my skills, but this shit happened and ugh.”

           "Officer Jeon.“ His partner called him.

           "I have to go. Reschedule her or something please.” He pleaded.

           "She paid for this session, Nochu…but I’ll see what I can do.“

           "You rock, Noona.”

           The Receptionist sighed and hung up. She opened up her planner to scan the schedule for the day, “What can I even do?”

            Suddenly, the front door opened, causing the bell to ring, and her head whipped up eagerly. Immediately, she beamed, relief washing over her.

           "Oh thank goodness you’re here! I need you to do me a BIG favor.“


           You patiently sat inside the pillow fort, which had a sort of canopy lining around it that served as a barrier from the outside world. It made the sea of pillows a bit more secluded, as if you were in your own world, in your bedroom, and not in some public host club.

           Suddenly, the doorknob turned and you perked up. Through the fabric, you saw the silhouette of a man coming in. Tall and lean. Your heart raced as he approached, knowing he was watching your outline just as much as you were observing his. He reached out and pulled the canopy apart slightly, entering as you two kept your eyes on each other. Your eyes traveled down his form knowingly.

           "You’re not the man I had requested.” You commented.

           The man chuckled and bowed, “Well, I can assure you my service will still be of high quality.”

           You hummed as you made room for him by pulling your legs back closer to you. Seeming to understand your closed off body language, he took a seat in front of you and waited for you to say something. You curiously stared at him for a few seconds before saying.

           "Enlighten me then. What exactly is the purpose and the intrigue of such a business as this?“

           The man grinned, "Well why don’t I show you first and then you can tell me if you’ve found an answer?”

           "Is it not something that can be answered with words?“ You questioned.

           "I don’t think words can ever replace experiences.” he replied.

           You smiled. “No, I suppose not.”

           "Then do I have your permission to please you?“ he shifted.

           You nodded, feeling the air thicken immediately at his words.

           "I have to ask.” he whispered as he reached out to touch your face. “This isn’t your first time doing this sort of intimate thing, right?”

           You shook your head. “It isn’t.”

           "Good.“ he traced your cheek, traveling down to your neck, and you felt yourself shiver immediately. "Mind telling me what you’re looking for here?”

           You glanced at his masked face. “Hopefully answers to many questions.”

           You caught his eyes twinkling expressively as he grinned. “Well then let’s hope my body answers some of them for you today.”

           Nodding, you scooted back into the fort of pillows, getting comfortable.

           "Relax.“ he whispered as his fingers continued to roam the outline of your body. "You’re tense.”

           "Sorry, being with a stranger is a bit…“ You tried to think of the word. ”…worrisome?“

           "How so?” he questioned as his hands found your hips, and you felt your body tingling at his mere touch there. Were your hips always so sensitive?

           "Well, I mean you probably see naked women a lot…so it’s a bit embarrassing? I don’t necessarily have the ideal body type.“

           He shook his head. "I think every person’s body is its own unique sculpture.”

           Then one of his hands cupped your face. “Is that the only thing you’re worrying about?”

           "Pretty much.“ You shrugged.

           "I can assure you that I find your body very attractive.”

           You grinned, enjoying the compliment that had spilled from his mouth. “Thanks.”

           He chuckled. “Are you carefree or just open-minded?”

           "Can I attest to being both?“ You smiled.

           His lips curled up. "I’ll go slowly.”

           You nodded as he leaned forward and pressed his lips onto the expanse of your neck. Gently at first, as if worried that you would shove him away and escape, then open-mouthed the next few times. His mouth traveled across your throat, up behind your ear, and your body responded to him by simply melting.

           Slowly, he urged you to lay down; your back hitting the softness of the pillows. You felt like you were enveloped by a cloud; all while feeling hints of paradise as he flicked his tongue out against your neck.You inhaled quickly as your heart lurched forward at the new sensation. He adjusted himself so that his body pressed against yours as he continued to suck on your skin.        Your first time had been hurried and clumsy, not at all like what was depicted in movies–the soft music playing in the background and the slow motion, picturesque love making. But whatever was happening now, with this masked man, you felt like it was close to what you envisioned this act to be– unhurried and breathtaking.

           His hands made sure to touch every part of your body, as if he was cherishing it, as if to let you know that every inch of you was loved. But that was crazy, how could someone you had just met make you feel this way?

           "Don’t think. Just let your body act.“ he breathed onto your skin as he pulled your shirt a little lower from your collar so he could kiss your chest. "You’ll find your answers faster.”

           "Will I?“ you mumbled, a bit more strained than you anticipated your voice to be.

           "Mhm.” he hummed, his lips still attached to your chest; the reverberations shooting through your entire being.

           Then his hand slipped underneath your shirt. Warmth spread throughout your stomach and his hand smoothed across it carefully. You felt your lower half heat up. He was so close to where you were starting to need friction.

           He shifted so that his face was in front of yours. You stared at him as you bit your lip to prevent yourself from panting or crying out, from acting on the way your body was shamefully reacting.

           "Can I kiss you?“ he questioned.

           You nodded, licking your lips a bit since your whole mouth had gone dry ever since he had initially approached you.

           He smiled warmly and captured your lips with his. They were soft and plush, and all you could focus on at that moment was the movement of your mouths against each other. Your mental strings slowly snapped one by one with each second that passed by. He kissed you senselessly until your body moved on its own, grinding up to meet his, surprising even yourself. He grinned as he bit down on your bottom lip.

           "That’s it. Something like this feels better when you just feel.” he hummed as his hand traveled upwards, lifting your shirt up as he cupped your bra.

           You kissed him more aggressively when he squeezed your breast in his large hand. Seeing that you were less tense and more responsive after a few more massages, he slid his hand underneath and you gasped instantaneously. He watched you, his eyes lidded as he rolled your nipple between his fingers. You moaned as you looked back at him pleadingly. You weren’t even sure what you were feeling. Did you want more? Was it awkward? Was it painful? Was it good?

           He brushed his thumb across the sensitive bud again and you sighed, closing your eyes. He was right. It was no use trying to analyze the emotion you were feeling because your body was reacting before your mind registered anything. You cleared your mind as you lunged forward, attacking his mouth with your lips. The way he kissed you served as the best distraction, the best way to calm down your thoughts. He seemed to understand because he welcomed your lips hungrily. And soon enough, his hand traveled lower, to your jeans. He squeezed your thighs and you spread your legs eagerly.

           He broke the kiss and stared at your face, wanting to see your reaction as his finger traced up your thigh and hovered over your core. You gulped as you observed his hand from afar, excitedly and anxiously all at once. Your chest heavily rose and fell as you panted.

           Then, one finger caressed up the center of your jeans and you felt your underwear dampen. Another stroke of his finger, then another as his pace quickened, rubbing you through your jeans. You groaned and threw your head back. The fact that he was watching you intently added to the thrill for some reason. He bit his lip as you moaned when he pressed his finger harder against you.

           His hand left and before you could wonder what happened, it found their way to unbutton your jeans. With a quick look at your expression, he pulled your pants down. You swallowed harshly as you watched him settle between your legs, his breath fanning across your clothed core.

           A thousand worries flitted across your mind in that moment, but they soon dispersed when he edged forward and pressed his lips into your center. You inhaled sharply and arched your back responsively. He kissed you again then flicked his tongue out, making your already damp underwear wetter. You clutched at the pillows that were within your reach, trying not to make any of the noises that were threatening to come out of you.

           "Be as loud as you want, baby. These walls are soundproof. And I sure don’t mind.“ he smiled before dipping his face into you again.

           You groaned and began heaving as he circled the tip of his tongue around. The fabric between you and your dripping core was completely soaked, but it made the sensation feel insanely more pleasurable.

           "Oh my goodness.” You exhaled as his hands glided up your thighs.

           You didn’t think you could be wrecked by a few simple moves. It was almost shameful that a stranger had unraveled you so easily. Was he just that knowledgeable? Was there a universal tactic that made all women go crazy? Or had you been in need of intimacy more than you thought?

           But you never did get to find out more in that point in time, because the buzzer you had come in with, started flashing and vibrating. The masked man unlatched himself from you and kindly handed you your jeans.

           "Sorry our time was so short.“ he apologized.

           You smiled and shook your head, your brain was a little fuzzy with all the sensations you had just experienced.  

           "It’s not your fault. Thank you for filling in.” You sat up.

           He grinned as he offered you his hand to help you stand. “Did I serve to answer some of your questions at least?”

           You chuckled, remembering the arrogant air in which you had greeted him. “I can certainly see the intrigue of this business much clearer now.”

           He bowed playfully. “Well, I shall escort you out when you’re ready.”

           "Oh. Sorry.“ You blushed and hurried to get into your pants, struggling because they were a bit tight. He steadied you by your shoulders so you could shimmy inside them with a shy smile. "Skinny jeans. Heh.”

           "Yeah, I try to avoid them. It’s hard to get around my thighs.“ he bantered.

           You giggled.

           "Shall we?” he gestured to the door and you nodded, letting him walk you out.

           "How did it go?“ the Receptionist greeted you brightly. "Sorry about the switch in host.”

           You shook your head. “Don’t be sorry.”

           Before the Receptionist could ask you anything else, the host interjected.

           "Well, I have to take my leave.“ The man bowed. "I’ll let you two speak freely.”

           "Wait!“ You called as he reached for the doorknob to exit.

           He turned to you questioningly.

           "What should I call you if I want to see you again?”

           He stared at you, a bit surprised that you verbalized the desire of having a second session with him so openly, considering he had just been a substitute to your original choice. But his face softened when he saw your sincerity, and he turned to face you fully.

           "Mon.“ he grinned, his eyes turning into small, crescents of appreciation. "Call me Mon.”

.

.

.

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PART 2 

anonymous asked:

I read several days of this blog and did basic research, but I still don't understand what's going on that led to #Norbury. Why are the Pike fics significant if they're not officially connected? I know ARG, but what does PTB stand for? Why do we have sufficient reason to bring Takei into this? I see the arguments about why /not/, but I don't see anything why /for/. Everyone's acting like these are things everyone already should know, but I can't find simple explanations?

Ok anon, strap in:

  • I believe the Pike fics are officially connected. Though it takes some extrapolation to get there (which I’ll explain in a moment), the content of the fics themselves are such that there would be no purpose or motive in writing them UNLESS you had the knowledge and opinions of a showrunner looking at fandom from the outside in. Read The Players for yourself.
  • “TPTB” means “The powers that be,” referring to the nebulous group of people in charge of Sherlock (in this case) who call the shots.
  • Dale Pike’s legitimacy comes from the assumption that the twitter elements of the ARG are real (imo, likely controlled by Joe Lidster). There’s a large network of these, I haven’t been super tuned in, but essentially, consider them NPCs that exist to wave flags and give us sidequests.
  • Our attention to Dale Pike came from parody twitters for two once-prominent members of the Sherlock fandom. These led to Dale Pike’s twitter, which, in turn, led us to their AO3. The AO3 contains a fic series called “Spoiling Sherlock in Real Time,” and has written and published several fics with info about s4 episodes prior to the episodes airing. Identifying Eurus as an imposter, that Sherlock would not be saying “I love you” to John, and…… jesus christ, just trust me on this? They predicted things they couldn’t possibly have known. Although it is possible for ao3 fics to be backdated, we know from the twitter and tumblr bots that update when new johnlock fic is posted that they were published when Dale claims.
  • These fics intricately express tjlc #moods, often featuring female audience inserts who bemoan about the existence of “The Good Story.” In several cases these inserts can be identified as specific Sherlock fans. Ashleigh @kinklock​, for example, is clearly The Girl from the Bus. (Yes, in the show too! That is why she LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE HER FUCKING CLONE.)
  • On the 29th, when most hope for a special was spiraling, Dale posted a plea that we tweet #norbury, complaining again about ALL. THIS. SHIT. Unfortunately, however, Moffat read his audience incorrectly, as they blew up the theater, and the audience fell into chaos. (READ THE FUCKING PLAYERS.)
  • I believe #norbury is the correct course of action because the emotional climax/resolution, post-bomb blast, is Steven (YES, STEVEN IS NAMED IN THE FIC) begging a lone remaining believer to PLEASE pull him out of the mirror well and to “TELL THE WORLD WHO I REALLY AM!!!!!” Capslock all Dale’s.
  • While I’m also willing to believe the bomb in the theater is about exposing canon johnlock (vs. blowing up the show with TFP), I feel like there’s no other real way to expose canon johnlock than complaining about how canon johnlock didn’t happen, AND with the who you really are thing, like, how else can we throw him the rope? What else is there.
  • Also in The Players, John and S are searching for the bomb, which they INSIST must be on the main stage. It must be (it turns out to be strapped to S(herlock) and John themselves–who, imo, might mean Moffat and TJLC), but as they’re searching John discovers two things: That it’s S who brought this dangerous bomb into the theater, and actually, oops, he doesn’t know how to solve the problem.
  • (This is debatable, because S and John have this whole conversation about whether or not this is a trick and he knows how to land planes, but this post is long enough as it is lmao.)

About twitter:

As far as I’m concerned, what’s really important is attempting to get #norbury trending at 7pm London Time/2pm EST/11am Pacific on March 4th and 5th. Whatever methods we want to use to try and get this to happen are up to the people that decide to play.

***WHY NOT TRY TWEETING TOMORROW, MARCH 1ST AS WELL?

George Takei comes from the fact that one of the NPC ARG twitters, I believe @contactWSSH, contacted one of the people organizing #norbury from the get go (I’m sorry idk who you are! pls message me if you want me to edit this and credit you!!!) and suggested that 1) If we can get someone with 50k+ followers to retweet our message, we will be trending within minutes, and that, 2) Why not try good ol’ George, elder of the gay tv community.

I personally feel that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS COURSE OF ACTION. Whether or not you believe contactWSSH to be legit, the advice about retweets is, and there’s nothing wrong with @’ing a celebrity on twitter. This is actually laughable and perplexing to me. I’m not wild about the concept myself, but one of the basic appeals of twitter is the ability to talk to verified celebrities. People are asking George to retweet shit all the time. This man almost certainly has interns fielding this shit. The worst case scenario I can possibly imagine is George seeing the tweets and going “huh.” If you’re down to believe that WSSH is Joe Lidster/TPTB/what have you, then you can further conclude that maybe George (or George’s PR team) has been NOTIFIED about this and is READY AND WILLING to help us try to make sure this happens.

Because in The Players, in its opening lines, the narration acknowledges that things aren’t going as planned. There are far fewer people milling around backstage than expected. Maybe, just maybe, imo, George Takei is a failsafe.

Hope that covered all the bases. 💜!

honestcactus  asked:

Okay, so I know you have a lot on your plate, and you don't have to answer if you don't want, or if you already have. I wanted to know your thoughts on pomeranians. A few years ago my family found one in a vacant lot and he kind of just became part of the family. Also he's huge. 16 pounds. Not overweight but just like an oversized pom. Anyway, I love your blog and the information you provide. I don't need a diagnosis or anything. I just like talking about my dogs, and I have pictures if you want

I get there eventually. I just appreciate askers who are patient and submit asks on one topic at a time.

Before any readers get up in arms about this post, please note the disclaimer: These posts are about the breed from a veterinary viewpoint as seen in clinical practice, i.e. the problems we are faced with. It’s not the be-all and end-all of the breed and is not to make a judgement about whether the breed is right for you. If you are asking for an opinion about these animals in a veterinary setting, that is what you will get. It’s not going to be all sunshine and cupcakes, and is not intended as a personal insult against your favorite breed. This is general advice for what is common, often with a scientific consensus but sometimes based on personal experiences, and is not a guarantee of what your dog is going to encounter in their life. With that out of the way…

Pomeranians are a funny group of dog. There are two very different looking types of dog that both get called ‘Pomeranian’.

The show-type (sometimes called bear faced) Pomeranian:

(Source)

Through to the longer, thinner furred, fox face type:

(Source)

Both of thee types, and anything in between, might be refereed to as a Pomeranian. Show breeders and purebred dog enthusiasts will insist that only the first type is a ‘proper’ pom, and the foxy types are either poorly bred by backyard breeders or mixed with something. I mean, they probably are mixed with something somewhere along the way, but this second type of Pomeranian is more common and so I’m including them in this post.

Medially Luxating Patella is the most common surgical concern in this breed. These dogs often have dodgy kneecaps, but what will vary is how much the luxating patella bothers the dog. A low grade one may not bother a fit dog very much at all, but the more severe it is and the heavier the dog is, the more likely they will require surgery. They often have this condition in both knees, but one may be worse than the other. Any little dog that starts skipping on three legs, or that owners suspect is ‘faking’ lameness buy holding a leg up when running should be suspected of this condition. 

Dental Health is a big deal for these dogs. Being so little, they don’t need a huge amount of food, so it’s easy for owner to fall into the trap of spoiling them. They are also often not very strong chewers, even for little things like chicken wings.

As they get older many of these dogs develop a honking cough. Half the time this is due to collapsing trachea, where the cartilage in the trachea weakens with age and can collapse when the dog breathes in too hard, i.e. when it’s excited.

A cough can also be a symptom of heart disease, most commonly mitral valve disease in this breed. Heart disease is never exactly a walk in the park, but getting this condition in a twelve year old dog is not as big an issue as finding it in a seven year old dog, as we often do with Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.

Trimming nails is also a much bigger issue for this breed than it should be. If people would put in just a little more effort teaching their dogs my life would be easier.

These are the conditions I see commonly across the Pomeranian spectrum. In the show-type Pomeranian I also see more Intervertebral Disc Disease and rarely hydrocephalus.

Personally I really like the foxy poms. They’re sweet while still being full of energy. I have cried over these dogs.  ❤ Pepper & Cricket ❤

It wont surprise you to learn that I see less issues with the foxy type poms, especially in regard to their head, than I do with the show type poms. Extremes of anatomy consistently correlate with more medical concerns.

But both types can be very nice little dogs, especially when socialized and not encouraged to be fearful, as happens to many little dogs in a big world.

Did you know you can support Dr Ferox and vote on future topics on Patreon?

Sorry, SPOILERS for Season 5, Episode 4: "End Times" because I need to vent and I don't want to wait until the episode airs to do it. I don't know how to put things under the cut, so if you don't want to be spoiled then scroll fast!!!!

So…Mikey literally saves the freaking world, and not an iota of appreciation or praise was given to him for it…

They just…completely ignored what he just did. None of the characters acknowledge it at all.

Saving the world, apparently, is no big deal!

The sad thing is…I totally saw that coming. I knew he was going to save the day, and that it was going to be completely ignored or hand-waved away like some fluke. Because they ALWAYS do that to Mikey!

Mikey’s been shown over and over and over again to be almost as smart of Donnie; not only showing genuine interest and support of Donnie’s passion for science and of his creations, but also being consistently shown as have a much better working knowledge and understanding of science as opposed to Raph and Leo ( with the turtle in blue only caring if it’s relevant to a mission). He’s almost as smart as Donnie, maybe even on the same level as Donnie, with the difference being that his ADHD makes it hard to remember things and/or express them in a way that people can follow. He clearly knows what he’s talking about, but can only express it in Mikey-speak. Ya know, like how Donnie expresses his smarts in textbook Donnie-speak!

They both get blank stares in response to their info dumps on the others, but only one of them is taken seriously and respected for it despite the fact that they’ve both showcased how smart they are! And they’ve both repeatedly utilized their smarts to save their brothers/save the day as well.

Mikey’s been shown to have good intuitive “ninja vibes”, but that’s never taken seriously either. Nevermind the fact that everyone’s super attentive when April’s spidey-sense gets riled up though. Even before she got trained her early “ninja vibes” were pretty much always listened to by the others, while Mikey’s (despite usually being right on the mark) are scoffed at and/or ignored.

I laugh a little when I see Donnie fans complaining that he doesn’t get enough appreciation. Because while I agree, as a Donnie fangirl too, that he works his ass off and Leo was a massive ungrateful jerk towards him in S3 and he didn’t always get the thanks he deserved to get (remember when he saved Raph’s life, but Leo was the one who got the awed appreciative look and thank you from Raph for merely sitting by the hot head’s bedside while he was unconscious?). At least Donnie is thanked by other members of the family for everything he’s done, and is told that his hard work is appreciated. He gets praised for his contributions to the team. It might not happen enough to make some of his fangirls happy, but you can’t sit there and pretend like he’s ignored, unappreciated, and underestimated the way Mikey is (Donnie himself is one of the biggest culprits of doing this to Mikey).

If Donnie saved the world, he’d get praised for it. So would Raph for that matter. Leo doesn’t even have to do anything, and he’d still get the praise!

But the finale of the Kavaxas arc just proved what I’ve been saying (and complaining about) for a few years now…Mikey’s contributions are hardly acknowledged, they’re largely ignored which is beyond ridiculous at this point! This has been happening since the beginning of the show’s run, and I feel us Mikey fangirls have good (100% valid) reasons to be salty about it! I’m sorry if you’re sick of hearing it, but if it was your favorite character this kept happening too I bet you’d be salty about it too. Just saying.

I’m not saying Mikey’s perfect, because he’s not. Even though I feel he’s been blamed for stuff that wasn’t actually his fault (Donnie’s brain drain incident-where Mikey was blamed for ruining Donnie’s work when nothing Donnie was working on was damaged or compromised in any way when the accident occured-this episode is also another fine example of Mikey showing off his smarts and saving his brother only to have his hard work be completely dismissed), I do admit that he’s messed up and has been in the wrong at times too. I fully acknowledge that Mikey’s flawed, just like his brothers are (even if Leo’s put on a blooming pedestal as if he weren’t-I have salty feelings about that, just like the rest of the fandom apparently, but that’s a rant for another day)…I’m just tired of this being done to Mikey over and over and over and over again.

Mikey literally saving the freaking world, using his own unique creative cleverness to do it, only to have his heroics be 100% blown off immediately after he did it (as if it never happened) is just the straw that broke the camel’s back to me.

Originally posted by allreactions

katsa-the-graceling  asked:

Hey! I have a question for you. I currently have a story up on AO3, it's kinda angsty, and it doesn't end happy - meaning the two main characters don't get together. I don't have it tagged as unhappy ending or bittersweet or anything because I don't want to spoil the ending, and someone left a comment telling me it was really rude to not have that tagged. Do you tag to avoid upsetting people? Even when you spoil your own fics? I kinda don't know what to do. ❤️

Hey there! Tagging is one of those difficult things, in my opinion. It’s such a delicate thing, and everyone’s opinions seem to vary. Some people never want to tag while others tag every little thing, and a lot fall in the middle. I’m not very good at tagging because it’s something that really only started happening in fic archives in more recent years. I remember when we’d only warn for the Big Things, such as rape/non-con, incest, character death, etc. If something was particularly smutty/kinky, there’d be warnings sometimes if it wasn’t the standard kind of kinks (or more common kinks). So I still tend to think of the big warnings whenever I tag or warn for a fic I’ve written, and there are times when I might not tag something that turns off a reader. 

I got a rude comment once for having a reference to Scott/Lydia in a Sterek fic, which was a brief mention in one sentence, and not an actual ship in the fic, but it was assumed that I should have tagged because one reader disliked that ship. In cases like that, my general attitude is honestly fuck it. There are chances we take as readers when it comes to the content we read, and fanfic writers already provide a lot more warnings than you get in published fiction, where sometimes rape or incest or character death just happens with no tag/warning at all. I think warning for the most common things that might trigger someone is totally appropriate, but sometimes there’s going to be something that only a few readers might be offended by that is more of a personal squick/trigger that no one could really ever predict needing a warning. I mean, I have some random ass squicks, myself, and I can’t really expect authors to tag for those things that likely wouldn’t bother anyone else.

That being said, something that is an unhappy ending is more of a common squick/trigger for fandom, in general. A lot of people use fanfic as a nice escape from whatever RL world they want to forget for the length of an awesome fanfic. Unhappy endings for a ship can be like character death, in a way. I know that I will usually skim to the last paragraph of any fic that gives me hesitation on it being happy just to ensure the two leads end up together & no one dies or breaks up. 

When I’ve written a story that has a plot twist or something that I don’t want spoiled in the tags, I’ve added a tag that basically says ‘check A/N for spoilers if you have any squicks/nopes’ then I put a note in the Author’s Note part that states what the spoiler is. In Livejournal times, it was easier because you could hide the spoilers and those who wanted to make sure nothing was included that might bother them would just highlight to read. That way, you could warn for unhappy endings or bittersweet or hopeful endings without spoiling it for the readers who don’t care. 

In this case, I’m really sorry you experienced a rude comment! Those are always tough to deal with, especially in a situation like this where it’s sort of gray when it comes to tagging/warning for an unhappy ending. You might consider adding a spoiler note in the author’s note section then tag for a spoiler if you’d like to avoid spoiling the ending. You can also use some keywords like Angst and Bittersweet because those not accompanied by a ‘happy ending’ type tag tell me as a reader that it’s not likely going to be a happy ending without outright tagging unhappy ending.

I’m sorry if my ramble doesn’t help at all but I’ve got my fingers crossed that maybe it will! I hope you don’t take the rude comment to heart and let it bother you, though. Just keep writing & enjoy what you do because that’s what fandom’s supposed to be about! <333

Aqours daily chat routine
  • Chika: woah look at this emoticon I found ʕ•͡•ʔ so cute lol
  • You: you never runs out of emoticon I swear
  • Chika: thats cuz I keep finding new ones (・ㅂ・)و ̑̑
  • //Mari has entered the chat//
  • You: stop before Mari enters the chat
  • You: I didn't even finish
  • Mari: I sense the emoticons being used
  • Chika: yo mari (*゚▽゚)ノ
  • Mari: yo mikan lover
  • Chika: im You's lover wtf
  • Mari: dude chill take a joke ffs
  • //Dia has entered the chat//
  • Dia: take your jokes away from the main chat
  • Mari: nope
  • Dia: we created another chat for this kind of thing, go use it
  • Mari: ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)
  • Dia: you use that emoticon all the time when you're going to grope me, leave
  • Mari: 〒_〒
  • Dia: I don't care if you're sad
  • Mari: T ^ T
  • Mari: ΩДΩ
  • Mari: ( •̥́ ﹏ •̀ू )
  • Dia: I really don't care if you are crying
  • //Kanan has entered the chat//
  • Kanan: Dia stop bullying Mari
  • Mari: kanKanan (っ´▽`)っ
  • Chika: Kanan help us
  • Kanan: yo kiddo
  • Chika: IM ONLY A YEAR YOUNGER THAN YOU DONT CALL ME KIDDO ٩(๑`^´๑)۶
  • You: why r u like dis
  • Dia: please type properly
  • Mari: only you cares lol
  • You: I dont wtf u on about
  • Mari: not you We caps your name
  • You: oh lol
  • You: and I thought you were crying wtf
  • Mari: im still crying shut up :'(
  • //Riko has entered the chat//
  • //Yoshiko has entered the chat//
  • Riko: the notifications are annoying me
  • Yoshiko: wtf r u gays on about again and hey Lily
  • Riko: we always enters at the same time??
  • Chika: Ha! G A Y
  • Riko: shut up
  • Yoshiko: shut up
  • Mari: omg they texted the same thing goals
  • You: werent you crying
  • Mari: I was until my sub unit members shows up
  • Dia: one thing that bothers me
  • Dia: Is that a typo or did you mean it?
  • Yoshiko: what typo
  • Dia: is that guys or gays
  • You: I bet you its gays
  • Yoshiko: its gays
  • //Kanan has entered the chat//
  • Kanan: my phone kept vibrating whats up
  • Mari: gays
  • Kanan: you guys are always like this
  • Chika: dont talk like you arent gay either →_→
  • Kanan: im the second gayest of all chika
  • Dia: I'm not surprised, to be honest
  • Riko: then who's the most gayest?
  • Yoshiko: I bet you its Mari
  • //Maru has entered the chat//
  • //Ruby has entered the chat//
  • Mari: im the gayest of all
  • Dia: CHRIST RUBY JUST ENTERED THE CHAT
  • Yoshiko: omg rip
  • Chika: omg rip
  • You: omg rip
  • Ruby: sis im also gay you know
  • Dia: wait, what? Who are you going out with?
  • Hanamaru: mE
  • Mari: did you not know?
  • Dia: why the fuck do you think I'm asking
  • Chika: omg Dia just swear guys take covers Σ(゜゜)
  • You: don't overreact lol
  • Riko: I think you should
  • Dia: shut up, she's my lil'sis for fuck sake
  • Chika: omg she swear again run guys ᕕ(‾口‾)ᕗ
  • Kanan: calm down shes not a little kid
  • Yoshiko: techinally speaking yeah
  • You: id be worried tbh cuz Chika once lured Ruby with a lolipop
  • Riko: so cute
  • Yoshiko: Lily no youre mine
  • Riko: im not trying to cheat
  • Dia: The group chat is a mess
  • Mari: Ikr
  • Dia: especially you, Mari
  • Mari: ԅ(。≖△≖。ԅ) I feel personally attacked
  • Dia: you should be
  • Kanan: calm down you two
  • Chika: wtf were we even talking about in the first place lol ( ᐛ )
  • Riko: something I guess
  • Ruby: I entered late so
  • Hanamaru: Ofh mAy g'otd
  • You: wtf
  • Chika: wtf
  • Mark: omg another couple texting the same thing goals
  • Yoshiko: ruby translate
  • Ruby: im with her and theres a dog
  • //Riko has left the chat//
  • Yoshiko: omg Lily come back
  • Yoshiko: dont leave me
  • Yoshiko: I NEED U HERE
  • Yoshiko: THE DOG ISNT EVEN NEAR U
  • //Riko has entered the chat//
  • Riko: my mum just called sorry
  • Mari: that was great
  • You: someone screenshot it
  • Chika: Yoshiko cant live without Riko confirmed
  • Yoshiko: ITS YOHANE
  • Dia: screw you gays
  • Chika: omg hwat
  • Mari: omg hwat
  • You: omg hwat
  • Hanamaru: OM'g Hwa's4T
  • Ruby: sis?
  • Dia: typo, sorry
  • Mari: that is def not a typo
  • Riko: the a and u is at in end from each other
  • Yoshiko: cant be a typo
  • Dia: you're right because it's actually auto-correct
  • Kanan: dont meme Dia now
  • Mari: "screw you gays"
  • Kanan: what did I say
  • Chika: guess who just got memed again
  • Riko: this is a literal mess
  • Hanamaru: CwkaoaAgkGtu'jdv?
  • Yoshiko: wtf speak human language
  • Ruby: the dog just trampled on her phone
  • Yoshiko: ITS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH US THAT DOG MUST BE MY CERBERUS
  • Riko: stop or I wont give you any kisses tmr
  • Yoshiko: my deepest apologies I want my kisses
  • Mari: our chats never have a solid topic lol
  • Dia: that's because y'all a mess
  • Ruby: sis did you just say "y'all"
  • Mari: probs picked it up from me
  • Dia: save me
  • [Mari has sent a link - SAVE ME]
  • Mari: this is your song
  • Dia: Why do I always get memed
  • Chika: because its easy to meme you ٩( 'ω' )و
  • You: and its hilarious
  • Kanan: What did she do to deserve this
  • Mari: nothing rly
  • Riko: but theyre gonna do it anyway
  • Ruby: sis
  • Dia: help me
  • Ruby: I cant
  • Dia: Betrayed by my own blood
  • Dia: I'm leaving
  • //Dia has left the chat//
  • Hanamaru: sHge 'lEaft
  • Yoshiko: what
  • Ruby: "she left"
  • Mari: buuu she left
  • Kanan: good for her she'll get stressed because of us
  • Chika: omg ur worrying about her are you cheating on Mari (|||゚д゚)
  • Kanan: we're in a polyamorous relationship jeez
  • Mari: yh yh Dia's bottom btw
  • //Dia has entered the chat//
  • Dia: shut up
  • //Dia has left the chat//
  • Mari: she came to say that and left lol
  • Riko: also we did not need to know that =//=
  • Yoshiko: you're bottom too tho
  • Riko: NEITHER DID WE NEED TO REVEAL THAT YOCCHAN
  • You: friendly reminder that Ruby and Hanamaru is still here
  • Kanan: cant ruin the innocent
  • Chika: you two should leave cuz Dia will kill us if we ruined you two @_@
  • Ruby: sure I guess
  • //Ruby has left the chat//
  • //hanamaru has left the chat//
  • Chika: this will probs surprise you but You is actually bottom
  • Mari: no way
  • Kanan: I thought shes top
  • Chika: she cant even pin me without turning into a blushing mess ๑乛◡乛๑
  • You: thats a lie
  • Chika: then try to top me then
  • Mari: omg a big discovery Chika is top
  • Riko: Chika doesnt get embarrassed that easily so
  • Yoshiko: unlike You and lily
  • Yoshiko: another reminder that Lily is also bottom
  • Riko: Yocchan!
  • Mari: this one im not surprised
  • Riko: I top sometimes as well
  • Mari: that one surprises me
  • Kanan: I did think you two are versatile
  • Chika: same goes to the 3rd year probs
  • Mari: yup
  • Mari: altho Dia is the ultimate bottom
  • Kanan: I'm the ultimate top
  • Mari: I die whenever Kanan top
  • You: you die when Kanan strips
  • Mari: and that too
  • Kanan: she die whenever im around tbh
  • Chika: calm your gf lol
  • You: its late so imma catch some zzZ
  • Chika: more like ur gonna sleep in my arms
  • You: yh that byeee
  • Chika: bye as wellllll
  • //You has left the chat//
  • //Chika has left the chat//
  • Mari: Yous at Chika place I guess
  • Riko: she is
  • Riko: they just came over to the balcony to say G'night
  • Yoshiko: let me sleep at your place next time Lily
  • Riko: sure my mum called earlier to tell me she wont be home till next week
  • Mari: and you can get hot and steamy~~ ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ)
  • Riko: stop associating us with you perv
  • Yoshiko: stop associating us with you perv
  • Mari: wow rude
  • Mari: and how the heck did you managed to text the exact same thing
  • Yoshiko: thats cuz Lily made a contract with me
  • Riko: I guess Yocchan and I are connected
  • Mari: so cute lol
  • Mari: Kanan can you come over
  • Kanan: now?
  • Kanan: its 11pm
  • Mari: but im cold n lonely
  • Kanan: be there in 10
  • //Kanan has left the chat//
  • Yoshiko: omg thats quick
  • Riko: how can she get there under 10 mins
  • Mari: her jet ski n im important
  • Yoshiko: makes sense
  • Yoshiko: unless she secretly have a pair of wings since shes a little demon
  • Riko: Yocchan
  • Yoshiko: my deepest apologies I still want my kisses
  • Mari: so cute lol
  • //Dia has entered the chat//
  • Dia: Mari, I swear to god if you don't come to school tomorrow only because Kanan is coming over
  • Mari: join us then lol
  • Yoshiko: your relationship will forever confuses me
  • Mari: lmao
  • Dia: Do I need to go?
  • Mari: yes im cold
  • Dia: give me 20 minutes
  • //Dia has left the chat//
  • Riko: that actually works
  • Mari: yee I get a rly bad cold when im cold for too long
  • Yoshiko: GRAB A BLANKET THEN
  • Mari: Or I can have Dia and Kanan sandwich me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • Yoshiko: Who allows you to be in a relationship
  • Mari: my parents obv
  • Yoshiko: IM BEING SARCASTIC
  • Riko: can the bed fit 3 ppl?
  • Mari: i have kings size bed sily
  • Yoshiko: but ur three grown teens ffs
  • Mari: remember that we will be sandwiched ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • //Kanan has entered the chat//
  • Kanan: im in the lift rn
  • Yoshiko: so quick wtf
  • Kanan: Mari gets real sick if she's cold when she sleeps
  • Yoshiko: DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS ANY NEEDS TO SANDWICH HER
  • //Dia has entered the chat//
  • Dia: Yes, there is. She loves to have someone to snuggle in her sleep
  • //Dia has left the chat//
  • Riko: she entered to just say that...
  • Mari: thats because im important
  • Kanan: we're spoiling her too tbh
  • Yoshiko: you need to stop omg
  • Kanan: im getting out of the lift
  • Kanan: bye kiddos
  • //Kanan has left the chat//
  • Yoshiko: wtf im only 2 years younger
  • Mari: still a kid
  • Mari: so much to learn
  • Mari: so many positions to use
  • //Dia has entered the chat//
  • Dia: please don't ruin them too
  • //Dia has left the chat//
  • Riko: she did it again
  • Yoshiko: imma leave
  • Yoshiko: Lily I'm calling you after
  • Riko: why?
  • Yoshiko: cuz I want to hear your voice obv
  • Riko: thats so cute of you
  • Yoshiko: shuddup I want to hear you say G'night to me
  • Mari: what a cute couple you are
  • Yoshiko: shut up ur gayer
  • Riko: shut up ur gayer
  • //Yoshiko has left the chat//
  • //Riko has left the chat//
  • Mari: wow
  • Mari: I'm leaving too bYE
  • //Mari has left the chat//
X-Men: First Class (2011 Film) : Sentence Starters
  • "Go fuck yourself."
  • "I am not gonna stop _______, I am gonna kill him/her."
  • "We have it in us to be the better (wo)man."
  • "We are the next stage of human evolution, you said it yourself..."
  • "Killing _______ will not bring you peace."
  • "Peace was never an option."
  • "I believe that true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity."
  • "It's a very beautiful memory."
  • "There is so much more to you than you know."
  • "There is good, too. I felt it."
  • "I've been at the mercy of men just following orders. Never again."
  • "I am so sorry."
  • "(S)He didn't do this, _______. You did."
  • "Us turning on each other, it's what they want."
  • "Are you sure we can't shave your head?"
  • "Don't touch my hair."
  • "What? You know you were thinking the same."
  • "You truly believe I'll fly this time?"
  • "First you proposition a girl/boy, then you call her/him deformed. How is that seduction technique working for you?"
  • "Then let's reclaim that word."
  • "Mutant and proud."
  • "Yes, _______, you're still a bozo. But nice job."
  • "You know sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if you haven't found me here that night."
  • "But I guess pets are always cuter when they are little, right?"
  • "You promised me you would never do that."
  • "But no matter how BAD the world gets, you don't wanna be against it do you?"
  • "Even I got to admit you look pretty bad-ass."
  • "Am I still a bozo?"
  • "I thought you were a burglar."
  • "In fact, you never have to steal again."
  • "Let's just say I'm Frankenstein's monster."
  • "Your genes are extraordinary, you know that?"
  • "Next thing you know, I'll be going bald."
  • "If you're in there, I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said."
  • "I am going to count to three and I'm going to move the coin."
  • "That's a six-hour drive."
  • "Don't mock me!"
  • "Would you like to see another magic trick?"
  • "Have you ever looked at a tiger and thought you ought to cover it up?"
  • "Damn! I wanted to be called Mystique!"
  • "Well you know what they say about guys with big feet, and you're are kinda small..."
  • "For that, daddy-o, you get a private dance."
  • "Baby, that's not the way it works around here."
  • "If you're using half your concentration to look normal, then you're only half paying attention to whatever else you're doing."
  • "Don't spoil this for me, _______."
  • "I don't mean to sound like an old fart."
  • "We are the future of the human race."
  • "Adapt to this."
  • "Do we really have to wear these?"
  • "Something tells me you already know the answer to your question."
  • "I can't feel my legs."
  • "What the hell did you put in my drink?"
  • "So we unlock your gift with anger."
  • "_______'s got friends. you could do with some."
  • ""Blood and Honor" - which would you care to shed first?"
  • "I was thinking that you're the most exquisite creature I've ever seen."
  • "...And that this needs ice."
  • "You want society to accept you, but you can't even accept yourself."
  • "Whoa! You back right off!"
Exo As Dads
  • Baekhyun: The "I can be a parent but I'm also a child so it will feel like you have more of them than you actually do" dad
  • Chanyeol: The "I'm going to pretend to be the disciplinary parent but you're going to to end up doing most of it" dad
  • Chen: The "I will whip your ass if you don't listen but then give you a reward later because I feel bad for yelling" dad
  • D.O.: The "I will discipline you without feeling bad about it but I won't hold a grudge against my kids for being bad" dad
  • Kai: The "I will sneak all of your favorite snacks to you when you're in time out but then deny it if anyone asks" dad
  • Kris: The "I will make the kids ask YOU instead of answering them myself because I don't want to deal with it" dad
  • Lay: The "I don't know where my kids are half the time" dad
  • Luhan: The "I'm the boss & you're the kid so you have to listen to & do whatever I say without question" dad
  • Sehun: The "I like to mess with my kids by telling them they can do something & then claim I never said they could" dad
  • Suho: The "I WILL BUY YOU ALL THE THINGS & SPOIL YOU but also I will genuinely smother you with love & attention" dad
  • Tao: The "I seem like I don't know what I'm doing half the time but am a very good parent when I want to be" dad
  • Xiumin: The "I'm my kids' biggest fan & will always encourage them to do what they like/want without judging them" dad

buckybarnesthewintersoldier  asked:

You should read the comics instead of getting people to spoil it for you. Ths story being told through CA:SR, thunderbolts and secret empire is fantastic and well worth reading

I don’t read comics, that’s some gay shit.

Alternatively, imagine, just imagine, perhaps, if, say, your dad was born during World War II, in one of the most bombed towns in England. Imagine if your grandfather fought Nazis and did a damn good job of it, but risked his life to do so. Imagine, if you will, if your grandmother’s family was Jewish. Now imagine how they’d feel if you started reading comics about all of them being killed in an ‘alternate not alternate’ reality and called it entertainment.

Alternatively alternatively, imagine, perhaps, not having much money and wanting to vet things before you buy them because perhaps you won’t like them, especially if they contain FUCKING NAZI BULLSHIT.

Starstruck Sentence Meme
  • "Am I blocking your view of what's his name?"
  • "Is it too late for me to be an only child?"
  • "If you knew him like I know him, you wouldn't say that."
  • "Does that new valet look a little shifty to you?"
  • "He needs to know opportunities like this don't come every day."
  • "All they see is a spoiled punk who likes to tangle with the paparazzi."
  • "There's gonna be steak for dessert."
  • "You and your stupid friendship rules!"
  • "I will give you front-row tickets to my next concert if you don't scream my name."
  • "I'm not hiding you. Its just that I don't want these particular people to see you right now."
  • "I think if you did know me, you'd really like me."
  • "I'll give you $15,000 if you do me this favor."
  • "It's not a favor if you pay for it."
  • "You give girls that look and expect them to fall for you. Well, its not working with me, so get over it."
  • "It's all lies. Technically slander."
  • "You think you're so special that a nobody like me couldn't possibly understand how hard it is to be you?"
  • "She idolizes you. I, on the other hand, couldn't care less about you or your city."
  • "You are the queen of snap judgments."
  • "You're so sure of things you couldn't possibly be sure about."
  • "I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm gonna die, that's what's gonna happen."
  • "I just wanna get home to my family, explain why I disappeared, and suffer the consequences."
  • "You know what I want? I wanna have fun."
  • "Forgive me for not treating you like the big, enormous star you think you are."
  • "Everyone likes me. Why is it that you don't like me?"
  • "Are you saying I'm not a real person?"
  • "What if I told you something about me that no one else knew?"
  • "I wish I could just stay here where no one can find me."
  • "Sometimes I feel like they only care about the business."
  • "Your life, I mean, it's so different from mine. Everything you do and say is so big and public."
  • "Right now, here with you, I feel like I can just be myself."
  • "You're so different from any other girl I've ever known."
  • "You say things to me everyone else is afraid to say and you make me see things about myself that I can't see."
  • "One second I'm amazing and the next you're embarrassed to be seen with me?"
  • "I don't wanna say goodbye like this."
  • "Once they have you in their sights, they won't quit until they get what they want."
  • "That kind of stuff only happens in the movies. This is the real world."
  • "I know it hurts right now but things are not always what they seem in the moment."
  • "Given some time, life has a way of working itself out for the better."
  • "This is the tabloid press. This is not the Supreme Court."
  • "You don't want the truth. You want a story."
  • "Congratulations, you've created a celebrity but you have wrecked the human being inside."
  • "Your life, your choice."
PVRIS lyrics sentence starters
  • "Take a good look at what I've become."
  • "There's a hole in my chest and I don't think it's leaving room for anyone."
  • "I'm trying my best."
  • "I'm doing everything to bring this body back to life."
  • "No matter how hard I try, I don't think I will make it through the night."
  • "I've been changing, falling, fading."
  • "There's demons at the door patiently waiting."
  • "Please watch over me, and be the light to carry me."
  • "I can feel it, being torn from my, my hands; my innocence."
  • "This change is all so permanent."
  • "Can't you see a change in me?"
  • "This world is a masterpiece."
  • "Shout out to the artist who took his heart and his soul and lost them both in the process."
  • "Please be the saint to save me."
  • "You were spoiled rotten and turned stale." "My tongue's acquired tolerance for tastes I couldn't stand.""You've been stuck in a rut and a wasteland."
  • "So just trust me, you'll be just fine."
  • "I need your trust just for tonight."
  • "Reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel."
  • "This is not just all in your head."
  • "Mind over matter makes these things feel so real."
  • "I can see the doubt in your eyes."
  • "You say there's no such thing as better things in life."
  • "I must confess this is all too new for me."
  • "Keep an open mind, it brings open hearts and open eyes."
  • "I'm hoping you weren't heaven sent, 'cause only hell knows where you've been."
  • "Your built composure's wearing thin."
  • "All your walls are caving in."
  • "I just wanna lift you up."
  • "I'll take all this love I found and I hope that it's enough."
  • "Don't you shut this down, no, don't you give this up."
  • "If we don't bend then this might break."
  • "Dream of me to keep you safe."
  • "Before you came around, I was lost and out of place."
  • "You're the only love I found and I'm hoping that you'll stay."
  • "Please stay."
  • "This isn't violence, this is just a war in my head."
  • "I give it time but it never seems to end."
  • "Don't you try to run right now, 'cause baby I could burn you down."
  • "The second that you walk into a room, I can't help myself from the things that you do."
  • "You're killing me right now."
  • "I think it's time you burn me down."
  • "I love the things we do when it's just me and you."
  • "You're just a ghost of blissful feelings."
  • "I'm losing you to the games in my mind."
  • "I know it's chemicals that make me cling to you."
  • "I need a miracle to get away from you."
  • "I think you're a saint and I think you're an angel."
  • "You give me something to think about that's not the shit in my head."
  • "You're a miracle."
  • "You're a glimpse of bliss, a little taste of heaven."
  • "You give me something to talk about."
  • "I need a miracle to bring me back to you."
  • "I know you're gone now, but I still wait for you."
  • "You walk around like you own the place."
  • "Guess it was all my fault."
  • "I think I let you in."
  • "Never thought that I would feel like this."
  • "Such a mess when I'm in your presence."
  • "It's my soul, it isn't yours anymore."
  • "Darling, you can't stay."
  • "Haven't you heard? I'm not yours anymore."
  • "I think it's time to get out."
  • "You've got it all, but you've got it all wrong."
  • "You're a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "You make it seem that you feel whole so they don't know you're a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "Think you're holy when you're not."
  • "I hate to break it to you baby, but you're simply lost."
  • "Simply calling out sins don't bring you closer to God."
  • "You're just a ghost at most, a set of empty bones."
  • "Searching for anything and everything to make you feel whole."
  • "You're all alone, you poor unfortunate soul."
  • "You just know I'm a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "There's no way that there's weight in the words that you preach."
  • "You contradict your speech."
  • "You're shallow and empty and filled with regret."
  • "Don't think I didn't notice."
  • "You've got it all."
  • "You've got it all wrong."
  • "It's hard to be what you need."
  • "All you ever do is turn me down."
  • "Can you hear me? I'm screaming for you."
  • "Day by day, I'm slowly replaced in your picture frames."
  • "Sick of the lack of signal, sick of the lack of touch."
  • "It's not enough, it's not enough."
  • "Don't blame your death on the shit in your head that you claimed ate you like a virus for days on end."
  • "I watched you decay, watched you waste away."
  • "Who'd you think you'd fool, baby, digging your own grave?"
  • "So go ahead, you just drop dead."
  • "You're trying to fool the whole world."
  • "You can't cheat death when you're digging your own grave."
  • "You're out of line."
  • "Your bridges are burning."
  • "You started a fire and you're burning up."
  • "What you give is what you get and in your case that's nothing but guilt and regret."
  • "I swear I couldn't wait to get you off my chest."
  • "It's hard to find life in something that's already died."
  • "I can't sleep, that's when you're torn away from me."
  • "It's hard to say 'good morning' when it's followed with 'goodbye'."
  • "Just wanted to say 'good night.'"
  • "I'm not ready to say 'good night.'"
  • "Yeah, I need to feel you again."
  • "Here comes the hardest part."
  • "In what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don’t even know how it happens."
  • "Well I hope you’re having sweet dreams, and you call me when you wake up."
  • "Darling, don't be so shy."
  • "I'll see you at midnight."
  • "You make my world spin."
  • "I'll wait to see you again."
  • "I know you're dead inside."
  • "I don't feel so lonely."
  • "Darling, don't be so shy, I'll see you at midnight."
  • "In the morning, I hope I see you by my side."
  • "I know you're dead inside, but you make me feel alive."
  • "I'm the one with the ghosts in my bed."
  • "I swear that I'll be fine in the daylight."
  • "It's my head not my heart that's strayed."
  • "I'm sorry I keep pushing you away."
  • "I don't wanna fight."
  • "Why can't you stay?"
  • "I'm up against these things I can't see."
  • "Make me believe."
  • "You struck a match and left me to burn."
  • "I wanna feel something that's not the touch of your breath on my neck."
  • "I wanna feel something that's not the weight of your world in my head."
  • "I shouldn't give in, but I let you win."
  • "I won't let you in."
  • "I know it's warmer where you are and it's safer by your side."
  • "I can't be what you want."
  • "You and I can keep our love alive."
  • "It's cold when we're apart."
  • "I hate to feel this die."
  • "You can't give me what I want."
  • "I can't keep you in these arms so I keep you in my mind."
  • "Can we meet in the middle?"
  • "I've been wondering why you keep feeding me these lines."
  • "You made a fool of me."
  • "You charm me, it's not easy."
  • "You would not believe how the tides have turned."
  • "If I'm gonna play your games, I know there's a price to pay."
  • "I've got the tendency to constantly pay for my mistakes."
  • "I can't pick sides."
  • "You would not believe all the things I've seen."
  • "If I'm gonna lose this game, what's the use in trying to play?"
  • "I shouldn't expect any less but I can't always have my way."
  • "Your doubts of me are constant reminders of why I should stop hoping."
  • "Keep your eyes on me."
  • "I won't let them pull you under."
  • "You'll find what you're looking for."

ushijimaismybae  asked:

Could I request a scenario where Ushijima does a kobe-don to his really shy crush because a friend/teammate who is very cheeky (I don't think i should mention his name because you don't read the manga and i don't want to spoil you XS) advices him to do it while he confesses to her. She obviously doesn't take it well and faints but accepts it once she has the courage to face him again.

We have another birthday boy! Happy Birthday, Ushiwaka! Don’t listen to Tendou he is a little shit lord. Also, I changed this slightly, I hope that is OK. 

~Admin Emma


Looking back, Ushijima was shocked that you’d agreed to go out with him.

He’d had his eye on you since third year of junior high. You were so small and cute and shy, but he’d also seen your brilliant smile. He’d seen the way your eyes would crinkle at the corners when you’d laugh, and the way your cheeks would dimple with the slightest twitch of your soft-looking mouth. He loved your freckles, or the way your hair fell in your eyes… he loved everything about you, and he couldn’t stop looking. He indulged in the secretest fantasies, idly wondering how big his volleyball jacket would look on you–all the other sports stars who had girlfriends let them wear their jackets. It was a token of some sorts, and a mark of possession… he wanted that. And he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Sadly, his teammates noticed. Also sadly, most of his teammates were little shits. Specifically, Tendou, who convinced him to do something called a “kabedon.” He didn’t know what it was, but when it was explained to him, it sounded like it would just scare you. You were about as skittish as a wild deer around him, he didn’t think looming and making a lot of noise seemed the right way to go. But he trusted Tendou (often against his better judgement) so he went for it. On his way to practice, he cornered you in the hallway.

“Ushijima-kun,” you said brightly, giving him that smile that made him weak in the knees. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have–”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence. His big hand crashed into the wall behind you, effectively silencing your train of thought. He leaned forward until he was near eye level with you. He expected… a different reaction. You made a small ‘eep’ under your breath, and your eyes were wide. You were afraid. Something in his chest sank, and he sighed deeply.

“Apologies,” he murmured. “I was under the impression this would have… a more positive effect.”

“I’m…” You gulped, trying to get your breath back. “I’m sorry?”

“I was told this would be a favorable way to express my affection,” he said. You canted your head at him–he was blushing? The eternally-grumpy-looking, perpetually quiet ace of your school’s star volleyball team was blushing? His brows were crumpled slightly…he was upset. You found yourself getting caught on one word.

“Affection?” You had spent a lot of time observing this boy… man. Whatever he was now. Many people just believed he was unpleasant, or mean, but you knew better. He was just painfully awkward and singularly-devoted to volleyball. You’d known him a long time and you’d never known him to express affection to anyone. “Ushijima-kun, do you… do you like me?”

“That is the idea, yes,” he replied.

“Oh.” You felt a giggle bubble up in your chest, and he darkened further at the high, bright sound. “Why didn’t you just say so, you goof? Now ask me properly this time so I can answer you.”

He made a sound under his breath that sounded like something between a gulp and a squeak, and it was so unfathomably adorable, you had to laugh again; “Would you… like to date? Me, that is?”

“I’d like that,” you said. “And don’t listen to Satori-kun again. He’s obviously a bad influence.”

He didn’t respond, and instead shrugged out of his volleyball jacket, draping it gently over your shoulders. He was right, it was huge on you. It stirred something in his chest to see you in his jacket. It almost felt like… he was claiming you. In the best way. You were his… girlfriend? Maybe? He didn’t know, but he was happy.

“What’s this for?” You tugged on the hem of the jacket. It wasn’t necessarily cold.

“Athletes lend their team jackets to their significant others,” he replied smoothly. “It is a show of affection.”

“Are you making a joke, Ushijima-kun?”

“Yes.”

You snorted, but you still put your arms through the sleeves. You swam in the thing, but you just looked so cute… “You’re so ridiculous… Wakatoshi.”

He would never admit it, but he liked the sound of his name on your lips. Maybe Tendou knew what he was talking about… maybe.

Te vs Ti
  • Te: Hey, Ti do you have the expense reports?
  • Ti: Huh? Oh... yeah, right here... *hands Te a freshly printed report*
  • Te: Thank you. *Time passes* Hey, Ti, I'm not sure if you simply over looked this, but you only tracked 97.3% of these expenses.
  • Ti: *sigh* Look again, the other 2.7% are uncategorized.
  • Te: Ti, there is no categorized, all expenses go into a predetermined category.
  • Ti: *Glare* So you would have me just... find a place for the 2.7% and just shove it in there? The 2.7% was uncategorized, i wasn't about to bullshit the empirical result for the sake of neatness.
  • Te: That's not how we do things. Use your best judgement. Expenses do not just come and go out of the blue. Go through each one and figure out the source.
  • Ti: I did, they are unmarked and have no indication as to what they were for are where they came from. Therefore, i created a category for them. Does this just never happen?
  • Te: It happens. However, you can't just have unaccounted for expenses, so you find a place that makes sense.
  • Ti: That's stupid.
  • Te: Excuse me? There is a system in place, and it is very efficient. It's necessary to streamline results in order to maintain orderly consistency.
  • Ti: Do what you want, you asked me to do a task and I did. If your system is so lacking as to have no adaptability then i don't see why i should sacrifice my aptitude just to fit a mold.
  • Te: *disappointed look* I don't know who you think you are, but there are things in life bigger than yourself. We're all individuals here, Ti, with our own thoughts and judgment's. You're not the second coming of Christ. Tests were run, these things have already been considered, and it was determined through careful review that this was the best way to do it. This is the right way to do it, so that's why it's done that way.
  • Ti: *angry* So just seal all the lose ends leaving no room for innovation or deviation? I have a job to do, and regardless of whatever hot air you spout, i did it. I'll do it again, if you want, but numbers don't just magically change. This whole stagnant construct is pathetic. You all just want to make things more simple and easier for yourselves while punishing those who think different. Give me one good reason why I should subscribe to your dogmatic and rigid systems?
  • Te: Because it's the correct way of doing things. It's the right way of doing it and it's the only reason you need. This team is not you. You need to find ways of conveying information that mutually agreeable to everyone. The burden is on you to have the cognitive maturity to think of how information is received on others, rather than how it all makes sense in your head. The systems we're developed so that everyone on a team can understand the data to have them better work together as a whole. If your going to be apart of that team than you need to accept standardization, as a necessary evil if you have to.
  • Ti: *thinks for a moment, calms down* Fine. That doesn't change that the 2.7% remains without a source. It's ridiculous that we just sweep it under a rug. Accepting that there is an "uncategorized" data set can help us be more cautious of our spending, and find better ways of reporting spending in the future.
  • Te: That's a good point, Ti. Put together a presentation and present it to the board on Monday. I'm sure they'll think so as well.
  • Ti: ... *Thinks inwardly: "Nah, fuck that. Fuck you."* *sigh* Alright... will do.
  • Te: As you we're then. *Thinks inwardly: "Since when do we hire spoiled children?"*
EXO TALKS #2
  • LAY: Guys, Luhans new song "Good Good" is so fun to dance to, me and Sehun can't stop jamming
  • CHEN: I agree it's catchy, but what does "good good" actually refer to?
  • CHANYEOL: I'm guessing it's about how good he feels now he has left the company, I think it's his way of saying, stick it where the sun don't shine SM
  • BAEKHYUN: I heard it was about drugs, you know that good good cocaine ayy
  • SUHO: For goodness sake Baek, I didn't bring Luhan up to do drugs, he would never, he is my precious child
  • D.O: Hyung what the hell are you talking about, he is older than you
  • SUHO: You always have to spoil everything don't you
  • KAI: Look, he may have the face of an angel, but we don't know everything about him, he could be a drug dealer for all we know
  • CHANYEOL: Okay how the hell did we even get into this
  • SEHUN: It's not about drugs quite clearly, it is about how good his dance skills are, did you see the moves he was pulling in that video?
  • KAI: Don't be stupid Sehun that is so ridiculous, if he wanted to to prove his dancing skills he would have just done a full dance video
  • SEHUN: Oh, I'm ridiculous, you literally thought he was a drug dealer, I'm done, Kkaebsong to you
  • BAEKHYUN: No Sehun just no
  • XIUMIN: Wow, will all of you shutup, it's about neither of those things
  • LAY: Well whats it about then hyung?
  • XIUMIN: HIS PACKAGE, SEX THE WHOLE SHABAM! I mean come on, did you not notice those hip thrusts
  • SUHO: No that can't be right we didn't even have the talk
  • D.O: THE MUM THING ISN'T REAL SUHO PLS GET A GRIP ON REALITY
  • CHANYEOL: Anyways how do you know?
  • XIUMIN: Because he explained the whole things to me over skype....quite literally, it was an interesting experience to say the least
  • *Xiumins phone goes off and Luhan song plays as his ringtone, and it turns out to be Luhan calling him*
  • BAEKHYUN: Omg he has it as his ringtone for Luhan whyyyy
  • XIUMIN: Well the experience may have been interesting.. but he wasn't lying.
Humans attempting to explain commercials to Leupai
  • Inspired by the Revix culture's struggle to understand human culture, as told by @Leupai
  • L= Leupai
  • H= Human
  • H: So the purpose of a commercial is to sell a product
  • L: ...sell?
  • H: yeah, like you want someone to give you money or goods for whatever you're offering them, so you're trying to show them the benefit of doing so
  • L: but why not just give it to them?
  • H: because that's not how economies work, you exchange goods and services to maintain a sense of balance-
  • L: but not actual balance?
  • H: *pinches nose* let's start over.
  • L: okay
  • H: ...a commercial is a tool of persuasion.
  • L: it certainly does a lot to confuse
  • H: that's because you need to understand the basic intent of the commercial, as well as how to build a scenario that presents a problem that customers face and offers a solution.
  • L: so it's a problem solver!
  • H: it's a SOLUTION suggestion!
  • L: so if someone can't find their house you make a commercial to tell them where it is?
  • H: no-
  • L: or if their mound key is missing!
  • H: that's not-
  • L: oooohhh, I could make one about how to bake a cake!
  • H: THAT hang onto that thought, you MIGHT be able to use that as an idea-
  • L: I'll go do that right now-
  • H: wait waIT WAIT!
  • L: what is it? You seem awfully high strung, is something wrong?
  • H: I'm trying to explain an Earth concept and you aren't listening.
  • L: Oh I listened very carefully, you just need to work on explaining!
  • H: believe me, I am. Now, for the sake of your example, let's say the intent of the commercial is to make people bake a cake following your recipe, right?
  • L: yesssss
  • H: now, on Earth you don't just GIVE them the recipe in the commercial; you have a limited time frame, that's not nearly long enough, plus there's no personal benefit to simply giving it to them.
  • L: my benefit is sharing my cake recipe
  • H: ok that's fine, but with a cake commercial, you make it to get people interested in your cake in the first place, then show them how to get the cake recipe from you.
  • L: ....I think I'm following but you sort of lost me
  • H: ok, list three reasons why someone should bake your cake
  • L: Oooh, I can name fifty! It's big, it's filling, it's sweet and changes color! It's so fattening, you'd burst your cessile within the hour! The ingredients can be harvested from donsair-
  • H: ok ok I get- wait, why would it being super fattening be appealing?
  • L: .........
  • H: ....cultural thing?
  • L: sure let's call it that.
  • H: o...kay... So let's pick three traits: it changes color, it's super fattening, you can make it at home from... What did you say they were called?
  • L: Donsair
  • H: what's that?
  • L: you humans lack words for it, but it's sort of like- uh, not like your dogs and cats, but you can spoil them with food or eat them or have them go on adventures with you!
  • H: so livestock with combat abilities?
  • L: yes!
  • H: ok, so it's possible to make it completely at home?
  • L: except for one or two ingredients, yes!
  • H: ok, so fattening, homemade, and colorful are the big focuses of your commercial to sell your cake recipe
  • L: share my cake recipe
  • H : no, sell it, commercials sell
  • L: oh... Wait, what's selling again?
  • H: I'll get to that in a moment. Now let's say you want to show your cake changes color, how do you show that?
  • L: i show how to make the batt-
  • H: no no no, you have thirty seconds to show and tell people that your cake is colorful, fattening, homemade, and how to get it, you can't show how to make it unless it's in a pre-mixed box, and that box is what you're selling.
  • L: oh you're no fun!
  • H: I don't make the rules.
  • L: well whoever did is no fun!
  • H: so again, how do you show that this cake changes color?
  • L: ........
  • H: ....
  • L: .... Take video of the cake changing color?
  • H: yea! Of course, humans have video editing programs, so you need to explain that it's really changing color on top of that-
  • L: why, they can see it changing!
  • H: it lends credibility. Now, you have a shot of it changing color, now how do you show or tell people that it's fattening?
  • L: eat it!
  • H: okay, but do you time lapse, or do you show before and after?
  • L: what's time lapse?
  • H: it shows footage taken over several minutes or hours and narrows it down to being only a few seconds by speeding it up tremendously
  • L: *giggles*
  • H: what?
  • L: it sounds funny, let's do that!
  • H: ok, now how do you show your customers tha-
  • L: customers? What's a customer?
  • H: people buying your cake recipe, the people this commercial is for!
  • L: you still need to explain buying and selling to me
  • H: I will! We aren't there yet.
  • L: *sigh* fine
  • H: .... So how do you show or tell that you can make this cake with homemade ingredients from donsair?
  • L: *snickers again*
  • H: whaaaat now?
  • L: you say "donsair" really cute!
  • H: what's wrong with how I say donsair?
  • L: *giggles loudly*
  • H: nevermind! How do you tell folks that they can make it at home?
  • L: just....tell em?
  • H: that actually could work.
  • L: do you have to go through all these steps for every comier?
  • H: these are just the first in a series of steps
  • L: *GROANS AND FALLS BACKWARD*
  • H: how do you think I feel?
  • L: why can't I just GIVE them the cake recipe?
  • H: because you subjected yourself to doing things the human way.
  • L: *grumbles* no wonder so many've ditched your planet then
  • H: what?
  • L: just thinking aloud! *sits up* so what's next?
  • H: well, you've shown the strong points of your cake, now how do people get the recipe?
  • L: I will come to them!
  • H: How will you know they'll want it?
  • L: everyone loves cake!
  • H: not really. Plus that's not safe.
  • L: ????? Humans don't like cake???
  • H: not all of them do, no.
  • L: ????? *tilts head like a lost puppy*
  • H: so for your commercial, if you choose to go to them, they need a way to con-
  • L: HOW CAN HUMANS NOT LIKE CAKE?
  • H: oh my g-
  • L: IS HUMAN CAKE BAD?
  • H: some of it sucks, yes
  • L: THIS NEEDS FIXING
  • H: well for the love o' god work with me on the commercial so we can get the word out that you're fixing Earth cake, PLEASE!
  • L: Can't talk off to save cake! *takes off*
  • H: WAI- oh the hell with it I don't wanna do this anyway.
Twenty One Pilots Rant. Don't even read this if you dislike opinions or are going to react to my opinion negatively.

Why is it that everyone keeps criticizing twenty one pilots now?
It seems like there is so much drama, and I don’t like it. I don’t know if it had to do with the band getting bigger and the clique expanding, but it’s beginning to seem like I can’t listen to twenty one pilots without someone getting all worked up about something.
Fairly local gets leaked: people attacking people who listen to it early, people attack people who listen to it late
Before Stressed out gets released: the whole Blurryface thing. People upset at people who don’t like it, people upset at people who do like it, people who made the fake twitter and omegles
Lane boy: people thinking it’s racist and people getting upset over if it is or isn’t.
This is ridiculous. If you don’t like the band or the lyrics, just stop listening to the band and let the people who enjoy it and want to listen to the band enjoy the songs.
And I know people will criticize me for posting this and adding to the drama, but literally I couldn’t care less because I want to listen to the music and I need this band and I am going to defend his band until the people who can’t handle lyrics or marketing techniques or other fans just go away and stop harassing everyone because that’s not what the clique is supposed to be.
The clique, when I first started listening to the music, was a sweet, supportive, nice group of twenty one pilots fans who loved their tiny little band and even though they might not be perfect people in any way, they were perfect friends. And I do not want to let that go away because a few people are over analyzing lyrics or hating the fact that Blurryface is a thing or scaring people half to death on omegle. You guys need to stop. Please. This is way out of hand. I can’t keep up with this anymore. At first, I was okay because the song got leaked and people didn’t want to disrespect the band by listening to it early and their hard work on the album. Okay. I was conflicted too. The Blurryface thing. Okay, it scares people. Fine, let’s try to tag Blurryface so no one is triggered and try to post updates that won’t scare anyone. Until people make bluuryface and fake accounts just for the fun of scaring people to the point where the band stopped what they were doing and contacted the fake account. That’s ridiculous. Now there’s a debate over the lyrics “I wasn’t raised in the hood, but I know a thing or two about pain and darkness.” He was raised in a good neighborhood. He’s still depressed despite that. Some people, no matter what ethnicity they are, are raised in bad neighborhoods. My step sister’s dad lives in a bad neighborhood where she spent half of her child. She is the epitome of a spoiled white girl stereotype. She also calls the neighborhood her dad lives in “the hood.” That’s what everyone in her dad’s neighborhood call it as well. There are people of all ethnicities there. Her white father lives with an Asian roommate. Their neighbors on one side are also white. The neighbors on the other side are black. A few houses down the road there are Mexican neighbors. In her mom’s neighborhood (my step mom and my dad’s), there are also people of various ethnicities. The neighbors that moved in two houses down over the summer are from South America. I’m not sure what anyone is trying to prove by saying that’s racist.
I don’t know if I’ve gone so in-depth with any twenty one pilots argument before, but I am sick of my favorite band and my favorite group of people getting torn to pieces every time something new happens. If you have something bad to say or want to completely ruin it for someone else, please just stop getting involved because it’s gone too far now. I am genuinely loosing my excitement for the album and that should never happen. When I first heard the album, I couldn’t stop smiling for days because I need this band. I. Need. This. Band. And. This. Album. And. These. Songs. Now it’s being ruined for me because you guys can’t shut up about every little thing that the band does.
If you know anything about me, know that I truly, truly hate racism and I think that every single racist person needs to be straightened out. I also hate people who are homophobic, heterophobic, transphobic, biphobic, cisphobic, etc. and I will call you out if I think something you say or do is harming anyone’s existence in any way.
And I don’t think that this line in the song is. I truly believe that this line should not offend anyone, just as I truly believe that no one meant for it to offend anyone. This was written about someone’s personal feelings, and I don’t think that it was, or that it was meant to be, racist in any way at all.

Birthday Boy - Commission

Title: Birthday Boy
Pairing: Noiz / Aoba
Rating: Explicit
Kinks: Photography, Lingerie, Pet Play (mild)

Commissioned by tinyblackwings

Summary:
It’s Noiz’s birthday, and Aoba has been sending him teasing snapshots of his ‘present’. Unable to suffer the endless droning of his meetings, Noiz pops home for a lunch break and teaches his boyfriend a lesson while he’s at it.

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darkestabsol  asked:

Hey. I heard that Discworld is good, but I don't know what it's about. That, and it's 40-something books and I'm not sure about starting another long series. Help?

Oh man you’d better make your peace with starting a long series because there is literally no way I’m going to not tell you to read Discworld, especially not today.

Okay, so Discworld is actually several series following several sets of characters and some standalone books about other characters, all taking place on the Discworld, which is an entirely flat, circular world sitting on the shoulders of four elephants who stand on the back of a gigantic space turtle. It’s a world a bit off the edge of the reality curve, and yet while Sir Pterry uses (used no no don’t cry it’s just the past tense DO NOT FUCKING CRY ABOUT THE PAST TENSE) uses it to tell fantastical stories, he also uses it to drop the realest shit on you (one of my favourites being “So many crimes are solved by happy accident–an overheard conversation, the wrong phone call, someone of the right nationality just happening to be within five miles of the scene of the crime without an alibi…). He has (had *sobs*) a huge love of wit and wordplay and his writing is jam packed with puns, jokes and twists.

Before I go off on a giant rant, I should mention that Mark Oshiro is doing a “Mark Reads Discworld” series and that if you’re unsure it might be worth popping onto Youtube and listening to him read a few. 

There are several main character sets and if the series at large seems too intimidating it might be good to pick one and start with that.

The Watch: Guards! Guards!, Men At Arms, Feet Of Clay, Jingo, The Fifth Elephant, Night Watch, Thud!, Snuff

Books following the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, the equivalent of the police for the sprawling twin city of Ankh-Morpork, which is one of the central locations of the whole series. While the Discworld at large is fantasy, the Watch books dip into the Crime genre as Captain (later Commander) Sam Vimes and the other various members of the Watch solve crimes and face major social issues such as racism, sexism, cissexism (no really, one of the characters is a dwarf who decides to express herself as openly female even though traditional dwarfish society is one where everybody has a beard and twelve layers of chainmail and is referred to as “he”, and the way her “coming out” is treated by other dwarves and her feelings about it strike a lot of chords with coming out as transgender–or so I’ve been told, not being transgender myself but I can see the parallels), political subterfuge (Jingo was written during the first Gulf War and it’s still so horrifyingly relevant) and rich people thinking they’re above the law (Sam Vimes disagrees). Also Night Watch is a huge homage to Les Mis with morally-flipped Javert and Valjean and it’s amazing, but also equally amazing even if you’re not familiar with Les Mis (which I wasn’t the first twenty times I read it). Along with werewolves, dwarves, trolls, vampires, zombies and Nobby Nobbs (who was disqualified from the human race for shoving), the series will introduce you to my ultimate Life Goal, Lady Sybil Ramkin, a mightily-built woman who breeds pet dragons and is kinda the living embodiment of “do no harm, take no shit”.


The Witches: Equal Rites, Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, Maskerade, Carpe Jugulum

If you like fairy tales and folklore and the power of stories, these are the books for you. Following the Ramtop Witches–predominantly the fierce and powerful old witch Granny Weatherwax; her best friend and cheerful matriarch of a minor army of children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, Nanny Ogg; Magrat Garlick, the somewhat soppy, pathetic and dreaming young(ish) witch (I identify with Magrat like WHOA so when she gets her moments of power–and she gets at least one per book and when she does DAYUM–it’s so, so wonderful); and the fat, powerfully-voiced junior witch Agnes Nitt. They fight mad dukes (Wyrd Sisters has a plot that’s some kind of amazing hybrid between Hamlet and Macbeth), fairy queens, fairy godmothers, and any force of story that tries to force people into what they should be instead of accepting what they are. As well as the power of stories, they also deal with some heavy moral themes (Carpe Jugulum has an amazing conversation between Granny Weatherwax and a somewhat lost priest about the nature of sin that has had a huge formative effect on me) and has a lot of basis in theatre (aside from all the Shakespeare, Maskerade takes place in an opera house in Ankh-Morpork).


Tiffany AchingThe Wee Free Men, A Hat Full of Sky, Wintersmith, I Shall Wear Midnight

Kind of a subset of the Witches books, these books predominantly follow Tiffany Aching, who starts off nine in the first book and ages two years between each subsequent book. They’re YA (but I mean that in a good way I swear) and they were actually my gateway drug to the Discworld. Tiffany is a little girl from the farming country who has read the dictionary from cover to cover and thinks about things too much and in general is a perfect candidate to be a witch, even though when the books begin they’re outlawed where she lives after the Baron’s son disappeared and everyone decided that the strange old lady who lived alone in the forest was to blame. Tiffany isn’t quite buying that old story, though (and every time she talks about this poor old lady it’s fucking heartbreaking), and it’s good that she doesn’t because fairies are coming to her land, and if you think that’s a good thing you are about to learn very differently. However, she has some help in the form of MY VERY FAVOURITE SPECIES ON THE ENTIRE DISCWORLD: the Nac Mac Feegle, the thievin’, drinkin’, fightin’, six-inch-tall blue Pictsies who were thrown out of Fairyland for being Drunk and Disorderly. They’re FLIPPING HILARIOUS.

I’d say these books are kiiiiinda Discworld Lite? Except A Hat Full of Sky goes some kinda dark places and then I Shall Wear Midnight is DARK AS HELL LIKE WOW I WOULD LET KIDS READ THE FIRST THREE BOOKS BUT MOST DEFINITELY NOT THIS ONE. But they’re all hella good and I think they’re a good first choice of series to go with.


The Wizards–The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Sourcery, FaustEric, Interesting Times, The Last Continent, The Last Hero, kinda Unseen Academicals

Predominantly following the chronic-failure-of-a-wizard Rincewind, the wizard books are mostly earlier books (The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic being the first two Discworld books chronologically, though personally I wouldn’t recommend starting with them–I tried reading The Colour of Magic a few times and couldn’t get into it until I’d read The Wee Free Men and a bunch of others) and are the most about the nature of magic and cover the widest expanse of the Discworld, because Rincewind is extremely good at getting into massive trouble and then running away from it. Rincewind kinda moves out of centre stage in later books in favour of the rest of the colourful faculty of Unseen University in their misadventures. Your favourite character will be the Librarian. The Librarian is everybody’s favourite characters. He’s an orang-utan. There is a reason for this, but nobody cares. He’s an orang-utan and everybody loves him. Ook.


DeathMort, Reaper Man, Soul Music, Hogfather, Thief of Time

These books are all about the Death of the Discworld–seven foot tall, skeletal, black robes, scythe, tends to show up under unfortunate circumstances–and his friends and family. Death is one of the best characters in Discworld but I feel too emotionally compromised to talk about him right now, so let me talk about his granddaughter Susan because she’s the deuteragonist of Soul Music, Hogfather and Thief of Time and she’s amazing. She’s partly human, partly… not, and she keeps trying to carve out a normal life and never quite managing it as she invariably gets drawn in when things are happening that are strange even by the Discworld’s standards (for example, Soul Music is about what happens when Rock Music gets invented, and Hogfather is about what happens when your Santa-equivalent winter figure goes missing and Death has to fill in for him). The stories deal strongly in themes of creativity, imagination and belief, especially Hogfather, and tend to be really, really beautiful. Death cameos in just about every book, but his character development arc across these books is one of the best in all of Discworld. AND HE ALWAYS TALKS LIKE THIS, IN ALL CAPS WITH NO QUOTATION MARKS. YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN HE’S SPEAKING TO YOU.


There are a bunch of other standalone books (there are three about Moist Von Lipwig but that’s not a series you want to get to until way later) and my absolute favourite that you should definitely read, if you read nothing else, is Monstrous Regiment. The premise is fairly basic: Polly cuts her hair and pretends to be a boy to join the army and find her brother in the backwards militaristic nation of Borogravia. If you know what the title’s from, it pretty much spoils the plot, but you may have seen it cross my dash enough times to get it anyway if you’re following me :P You want canon lesbians who don’t come to a horrible end? You want varying neurodivergent characters treated with love and respect? You want crossdressers and transgender characters and how to tell the difference? You want major discussion and consideration of gender issues and a Joan of Arc homage who doesn’t get burned? Read Monstrous Regiment. You also get a vampire hallucinating that they’re in the Vietnam War on a world where Vietnam doesn’t actually exist when they run out of coffee.


TL;DR (but please do read): Pick one of the series and read it. I’d highly recommend Tiffany Aching, but The Watch and The Witches are also good starts. The characters and locations and such do intertwine with each other sometimes, but the majority of the books are specifically written so that you can pick them up and enjoy them without having read any of the others.

And you will enjoy them. They’re sweet, they’re sad, they’re terrifying, they’re funny as hell, they’ll really make you think and you’ll be quoting them forever. Don’t be scared of how much is ahead of you: be grateful you have so much to experience for the first time. I guarantee you that once you’ve read them all, it won’t be enough. There could never be enough. But what there is is a gift.

…gotta go cry again brb

Beware Episode VIII spoilers, all ye who enter here

This is potentially a big spoiler for the ending of Episode VIII. While there’s a 98% chance it’s bullshit, on the basis of the 2% chance that it’s legit you should think carefully before proceeding beneath the cut.

Are you sure?

Are you really, really sure?

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