Imagine Steve wasn't in love with Bucky Barnes before his big freeze, but now he's falling head over heels for the Winter Soldier
Steve wasn’t confused
about his feelings. Not really. He’d been attracted to men just as much as he
had been women. He might’ve had to keep
his attraction to men fairly quiet until he woke up in the twenty-first
century, but he’d never been confused about feeling how he did.
The confusing part was
Bucky. Or, maybe the confusing part was
that it wasn’t Bucky. He wasn’t sure what the difference was, exactly, and what
it meant that he hadn’t been attracted to Bucky before he was the Winter
Solider, but he was now that Bucky wasn’t the Bucky he used to know.
He wasn’t sure if it was
the hair, or that shared life experience he’d mentioned to Natasha once, or if
it was something else that Steve thought, somewhere deep down, that he should
feel bad about because the change in Bucky had come at the expense of so much.
Bucky wasn’t the Bucky he
remembered and that difference made all the difference. He was darker and haunted and as strong as
–if not stronger- than Steve and there was something wily that shifted behind his eyes, sometimes, that
made Steve’s stomach flip.
Bucky noticed. And made sure to bring it up when he knew he’d
catch Steve off-kilter enough to talk about it (exhausted after sparring. Steve would be damned if Bucky hadn’t timed
it perfectly because he knew how good Steve thought he looked exhausted and
“You wanna do something
about it, or are you trying to see how frustrated you can make yourself?”
“What?” Steve sputtered. He wasn’t ready and didn’t know what to say
and felt guilty that he was attracted to Bucky (the Winter Solider) now that he
had seventy years of unspeakable horrors behind him. Steve wondered what that said about
Bucky sighed. “I see the way you watch me. Did you always do that?”
“You mean did I do it when
– Before?” Steve managed to keep his voice
Let it never be said that
Steve Rogers backed down from a confrontation.
Bucky nodded, watching
Steve carefully, searching his face for.
Something. When he finally spoke,
it was much quieter, secret-sharing. “I
was hoping you’d say that.”
“What?” Steve leaned back
against his locker. He was pretty sure
the wold was tilting on it’s axis.
“Steve, I – I’ve been
wandering around thinking you’re mooning over someone I’m not anymore and – and
it’s not true. You want me, not him. I mean – you know.”
Steve nodded. “Yeah, Buck.
I do. But what does that say
“-Stop. We’re both different. This might be the best excuse to finally forgive
yourself for the fact that seventy years just happened to change us both.”
It was Steve’s turn to
pick apart Bucky’s expression and when he’d done so to his satisfaction he
reached out towards Bucky, who leaned in in kind.
JARVIS ensured the locker
room was off-limits for the next week.
(First for the privacy of Captain Rogers and Sargent Barnes, and second
for the repairs necessary to the space once they were through with it).
typical guided meditations:
you are light, you are love, you are protected and safe. don't be afraid to let go of all the negative things in your life. you are all that there is, the source of all, which is infinite goodness and love. let go of all the things that no longer serve you and make room for new universal energy to cleanse your body, soul and mind.
my personal guided meditations:
listen up you little bith. i dont have time for u to be fuckin around with all these bad vibes. feel the light in every fuckin atom in your body alright. man up and stop giving a shit. let go of all thef uckery. right now. let it all go bitch. kick the sadness in the balls. let it all fuckin go. love and light bitch, love and light
Backstory- this was my first time playing, and I’m playing a tank with a party of me, a cleric, and a rouge. We’re all approximately level two. My character happens to speak draconic (you’ll see why that’s relevant) and we’re all trekking through a dungeon
Cleric (ooc): *explaining how dungeon crawling works*
Cleric (ooc): *mentions dragons*
Rogue (ooc): okay, but we’re level two, we won’t run into a dragon for a really long time.
Party: *goes into a new room*
DM: the door closes behind you
DM: the room begins to get very cold
Rogue: heck heck heck
DM: you have the feeling something very big is watching you
DM: a giant ice dragon is sitting in the corner of this room, atop a pile of gold and strange, glowing stones.
Cleric and me: *both shoot pointed looks at the dwarf*
And that’s how I ended up negotiating with a dragon before I figured out how to talk to people without offending them 👍
I feel so homesick right now… so I took my homesickness and gave it to Lance bc thinking about how homesick Lance must be somehow made me feel happier for a second before I started crying bc he must feel it at least 10x worse bc I know I’ll see them soon and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever see his family again
Sorry if there are any typos, I can barely see through my tears
-at the garrison it was somehow different. he wasn’t with his family, but he knew he’d get to see them around the holidays and such things, plus skyping or texting or calling
-he still missed them and so he thought he knew what homesickness felt like: a tiny squeeze of your heart and a whispered voice reminding you of your family, but still fairly easy to ignore with the smallest distractions
-even then, if things got really bad for him at school he knew the worst they could do was send him back to his family, who would still accept him even if he was kicked out
-and then he was pulled into a giant space war
-which, unlike the garrison or literally any other school, has his schedule entirely unplanned
-was he going to eat breakfast tomorrow or were they going to have to fight something? was Allura going to surprise them with a crazy drill that they’d have to suffer through? was Hunk going to wake up later than usual and cause to Coran decide to make them disaster food? if he slept in, would the team let him sleep til lunch? who knows
-was he even going to live long enough to see his family? if Zarkon attacked earth, would they know? would they be able to stop him? what if his family is already dead? for all Lance knew, he could die in his sleep, but Allura dismissed him and said they couldn’t visit earth yet
-he has so much more time to think of things and at first he thought that would make him would feel better, but it doesn’t
-instead he notices that he can’t remember the way his sister parted her her hair, or where the freckle on his brother’s face was or if there even was one. he can’t quite remember the tune to the song his mother always sang, or the way his dad’s face lit up as he came home from his late shift at work only to find that everyone had stayed up late just to see him walk through the door
-his first thought is that it didn’t matter, that those were only the small things
-but then he noticed that he could barely breathe
-he was gasping and his lungs felt like they were full of cotton, his eyes stung as he tried not to cry, his head pounding out his erratic heartbeat. his hands and feet felt numb, his arms and legs like jelly. he felt nauseous too, and bile stung his throat as his mouth went completely dry. his heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest viciously
-he tried to think of something else, anything else, but now his head was screaming everything he must be missing back at home
-does his sister still make cookies every saturday? does his brother still pick flowers on his way home from school? does his mom still make ridiculous cards for him and his siblings? does his dad still insist that they take pictures everyday?
-do they think he’s dead?
-at this point Lance just needs to get out. he’s scared and just hopes that distracting himself will still work because it’s the only thing he could think of
-so he walks right down into the dining room where the rest of the team is and starts talking
-the others talk back, and everything goes back to normal for Lance
-but the longer he’s away from his family, the more often this occurs, until it’s a habit to just talk to everyone every time he has someone to talk to
-he talked to the paladins, he talked to the alteans, he talked to Blue (and any other lion, although he couldn’t tell if they were listening or not)
-and eventually the others found him to be more and more annoying
-which sucks, because he needs them more than ever now, because now everything he does reminds him of home
-bathing, eating, sleeping, practicing, laughing, even talking
-and there are things he never did in space like fighting, training, or using crazy machines, but it just helped remind him that he’s doing them because he’s not at home
-Lance wants to tell them, but no one else talks about being homesick so he decides he has to stay strong
-they all say he’s annoying (wether or not they mean it) so he slowly gets quieter and basically loses his only coping mechanism but no one seems to notice how much worse he’s getting
-they don’t notice how quiet he is now either, until he says something and someone asks him if he knows how to shut up before they realize that that was the first time they had heard him speak in days
-they see his face fall and his eyes fill with tears, and now they notice his eye bags and the way he seems to be ready to fall over at any given second
-they don’t say anything however, because they aren’t very social and don’t know what to say (only Hunk and Coran seem to have any skills socially, but they wouldn’t be telling Lance to shut up in the first place so it’s safe to say whoever said it wouldn’t be a feelings expert)
-so they leave it alone. Lance was probably just tired lately for some reason but they won’t make him go to sleep because they figure he’ll be fine (again, pretty sure Hunk and Coran are the only ones who know what sleeping is)
-they’re too lost in thought to notice Lance leave the room gasping for air
-they’re too busy moving on to notice that Lance won’t be fine
Being at a party with Tom and some Marvel co-stars, and as you walk away for a moment to get a drink, Tom, who had been having an animated conversation with Scarlett about her latest baked creation when you slipped away, goes completely silent and just watches you as you cross the room. Prompting Scarlett to frankly state, “Lord, will you just realize you love her already”, and it hits him that, in fact, he does.
I feel like nobody talks about what dan and phil don't do. Like how they haven't been in a serious relationship with another girl. And even though they have the money they haven't moved into different homes. And how phil didn't leave the room to change his pants when he was in boxers. It's the things that they don't do that kinda shows how much they love each other
Hey Colton! What's up? I kinda wanted to ask you a serious question, I guess? Uhm, as an openly gay actor, do you have some advice for younger, queer kids? I am one myself, and there are times I don't know how to deal with my sexuality... Lots of love! ~G
I can honestly say that it takes time to be comfortable enough to come out…it has to be on your own time but when i did…it changed my life for the better! It opened up so many doors for me and i dont have to feel like the elephant in the room anymore. Theres so much support i never knew was available for me and i am so proud to say that i am gay and it hasnt done anything to hurt what i love to do in life. Times are thankfully changing