i don't have curves :(

I hate having to use my opposite hand to walk with my cane sometimes (if the hand I normally use is full or injured).

I feel so clunky and clumsy and I end up thinking:

“Oh god, people are watching how bad I am this. Look at her, she can’t even use the cane right!”

It makes me SUPER aware of my steps too, like:

 “LEFT FOOT…..okay now, RIGHT FOOT”. 

You’re dancing with the devil

x

10

anonymous asked:

I can't help but compare myself to other black women especially black Instagram models or just well-known black woman on social media I constantly compare my body to them or their clothes their make up I'm young and I know that it's not worth it but it's hard I don't look like any of these other black girls I'm not slim thick I have unconventional curves I don't have tons of clothes I can't beat my face every day honestly I'm really trying when it comes to self-love any advice?

I know it’s hard not to compare yourself to the Instagram models and the girls with the snatched waists and the big hips/butts. We live in a patriarchal society that emphasizes cultivated competition between women. And especially in the black community where everything is a competition for a chance to be placed on the pedestal (ie. Light-skinned v. Dark-skinned, Thick vs. Thin, Thick vs. Fat, Good hair vs. Nappy Hair, Queen vs. Thot). It’s easy to get sucked into that. But the best advice I can give you is to realize that everyone has flaws. Yes those girls on Instagram are very pretty, but they are still human. And even though, their flaws may not be visible to the naked eye, it’s there.

I feel like a lot of times girls are so quick to idolize what they see. Try not to idolize what you see on social media. (Most of it is an illusion anyways) As long as you remember that they are human beings just like you, you won’t feel the need to constantly compare and contrast because the day will come where your divinity will be recognized. Are those Instagram girls beautiful? Yes! Do they get a lot of attention and male recognition? Yes! Do they have great bodies? Yes! Are they perfect? No! None of us are, and that’s what you have to remember everytime you login into Instagram or any other social media site.

You mentioned that you’re young. Focus on developing yourself on the inside before developing the outside. Great mental health, a high confidence level, and a heightened sense of self-worth will expedite your glo-up phase. Once you cleanse out your psyche and rid yourself of all self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy, I guarantee that you won’t feel the need to compare yourself to anyone else, because you’ll be right where you need to be.

And furthermore, with great mental health and confidence comes physical beauty as well. When you love yourself, and you’re content with all that you are, you’ll start to walk differently. Talk differently. Do your hair differently. Approach people differently. All of the beauty that is on the inside will make itself on the outside. Everything will fall into place.

It’s kind of like drinking water. When you don’t drink water, your skin gets very dry and you get pimples everywhere from toxins. Right? When you do drink water, your skin starts to clear up and glow. Your spirit is the same way.

For the time being, try to limit your time on Instagram and always remember that their beauty does not negate yours.

they took my fingernails first. i liked them
magnetic blue, shock-treatment orange, i
liked them statement full-stops like my fingers
were sentences and my knuckles were
commas and the second boy i kissed but
the first that i dated told me idly one evening
he thought they looked ugly, too bold, less like
traffic cones and more like cracked sidewalks,
he said that they stood out in the worst possible way, so
the next day i showed up with clear nail polish

then it was my hair when the first time i felt
my heart break like an avalanche, like a rock slide,
in tiny bits and then everything all at once and all
of a sudden until i was suffocating and my
brain felt heavy and even though my hair
touched the back of my knees and i had worn
it proudly, i couldn’t stand the idea of his fingers
through it, i felt like every knot was a birdcage where
memories were hidden so
i chopped it off and felt lighter for an instant
but could never wear it out of my face, ever again
not without feeling exposed and ready to come
undone

then went my thighs because one boy said
i spilled over like sunday prayers, then my hips
when a girl i kissed wouldn’t stop playing with
the fat on them, then my shins and ribs and
one million other things until i was all husk
and no matter at all, i was in skin that felt
uneven, like there was sand underneath it

and i kissed people and gave them my body
because it didn’t even feel like i was in charge
of it - and i kissed a boy and when he said i should
start to work out again, i did not cry, just
agreed quietly

do not give over the smallest change for them.
it will make it impossible to say no when it comes
to the big things. you were born beautiful and
lovely and with seaglass in your irises. find
someone who will nibble on your highlighter
fingertips and say “it looks like you wear m&m’s”
someone who will find joy in the little things and in your
flaws, finds perfection.

do not give yourself to them. your body and soul
are one thing. you must be as kind to yourself as you are
to a kitten. you house life, you house light, you are purple
through red -
find someone who wouldn’t
alter a single hair on your head.

if they want you to change, they don’t really want
to be with you. they want to be with someone who’s
not quite like you. love yourself enough
that you would not pretend for a lifetime that
you are someone else entirely.

—  “I’ve always been too skinny, and he says that real women have curves. I loved him for so long anyways." /// r.i.d
2
No. 6 Sagae Haruki

ok, so I think I finished the first frame of my comic I keep rambling on about. maybe? I think this is kinda the look I want to go for. I also sorta want to make is a little less line heavy, with much thinner lines. I don’t know, maybe I’ll change it after this first scene is done. 

Sweet cheese and crackers this is going to kill me.

10

How can I let my sister marry Joffrey? she thought, and suddenly her eyes were full of tears.