i don't have a sonic screwdriver :'(

basically reasons I'm always gonna be alone.
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>me:</b> Harry potter is, like, the gateway fandom. You start reading the books, and suddenly you want to climb ferris wheels instead of ride them, a ball point pen is your weapon, you have a sonic screwdriver and carry salt everywhere, you're awkwardly in love with Sherlock Holmes and you don't really know how any of it happened, but you're pretty sure it started because Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursley of 4 privet drive were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.<p/><b>friend:</b> * takes earphones out* are you done talking about them yet?<p/><b>me:</b> *opens mouth*<p/><b>friend:</b> *bangs head on table*<p/><b>me:</b> so... as I was saying, hot vampire wizard roommates...<p/></p><p/></p>
Doctor Eggsy

Here, have 1334 words of Doctor Who AU nonsense, featuring Eggsy as the Doctor and Harry who is confused. 

For @your-eggcellency

It hurts like hell, but he knows that it’s time. This body has been wearing down and it’s time to let go now, to take a new form, to start all over again. He has done this many times, but it doesn’t make this one any better. It still hurts, the energy burning through him like wildfire.

Gingerly, he touches his face once the last bright orange sparks of the energy have left his new form. He feels younger, and his new jaw is alarmingly sharp. He heaves himself up and staggers around the console on his new and unfamiliar legs. He’s definitely shorter than he used to be. He swings the mirror around to get a good look at his new face.

‘’Who’s this pretty boy, then?’’ he asks himself and then coils back in surprise because this new body comes with a new accent. ‘’What in the…?’’

It’s unnerving – it always is – but the more he looks at his new, younger face, the more he ponders over his new South London accent, the more he starts to like them. He’s been in old bodies and younger bodies, but this? This is new and exciting in a way very few things are when you’re a thousand years old and seen entire planets born and die.

‘’Yeah,’’ he says to the empty TARDIS. ‘’Yeah, this’ll be fun.’’

He looks down on his new form, still dressed in the ill-fitting clothes of his previous self. ‘’But first, we need new threads.’’

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anonymous asked:

12 falls into something nasty on an alien planet. Clara helps get him clean (with lots of lovely hair washing and combing preferably) and both of them find this surprisingly arousing and they do the do.

Not quite as far as the doing the do part, but I got the goo and shower parts of the prompt!

“We’ve got to get this mud off! Now! Run!”

The Doctor clutched Clara’s mud-smeared hand and tugged her into motion. She ran slower than he did, mere human that she was. Short-legged short human. He had long-since learned how to pace himself to match her, not that he admitted this. They ran, hand in hand toward the TARDIS.

Clara was protesting.

“It’s just mud,” she said. “Green mud, yeah, but the dirt was green because of all the copper so–”

“It’s not just mud, Clara. It’s semi-sentient nano-mud. It’ll be reconstructing our bodies along more efficient principles if we leave it to dry.”

It was, he did not add, already likely cleaning up her outermost skin layers, removing pesky moles and doing things she might or might not like with hair follicles. If it took a mind to it. It was unpredictable. That was the trouble with semi-sentient things. You could reason with things that were all the way sentient. You could talk to them, find how how they thought. Sometimes they were annoying, but mostly they were fun. This was why he did what he did for the universe. Why Clara ran around with him helping him. But semi-sentient things were flighty. Nervy. Whimsical. In a word, unpredictable. He hated things he couldn’t talk to.

Right. Back on topic. Mud.

“We need to get it off ourselves. Now. TARDIS bathhouse. Chop chop!”

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Me watching "Forest of the Dead"
  • The first time.
  • me: Wow, who is this River????? Why does she have a sonic screwdriver???? WHAT DID SHE WHISPER TO THE DOCTOR??? WHAT??? SHE'S GOING TO SACRIFICE??? OH NO!!! *cries* DAMN MOFFAT.
  • After watching seasons 5, 6 and 7.
  • me: If only you knew who is River, Doctor. Hah. You can't read that diary, your rules. Hah. Shit. Oh man she's going to sacrifice herself. Time can be rewritten but not those times. Don't you dare. *cries the Niagara Falls* MOFFAT, I HATE YOU.

“Ten and Rose Meet Amy and Eleven” - Digital Oil Painting

I love how this turned out. Amy’s like “Doctor, what the heck is going on?” Eleven is just “ROSE ROSE ROSE ROSE ROES ROESO ROESOROSE” Ten is like “I don’t trust this interloper, stay back Rose” and Rose is contemplating new sleeping arrangements that can include her with both Doctors, LOL.

If you enjoy my art, please consider subscribing to my Patreon!


“Hey, you stay back!”

“But I’m you!”

“Bollocks.”

*indignant* “I am! I’ve got this!” *brandishes claw-ended sonic screwdriver*

*left eyebrow lift* “You think I’d be convinced by you waving a– What exactly is that supposed to be?”

“It’s… it’s my sonic screwdriver!”

*bursts out laughing* “That’s a sonic screwdriver? You’re having me on. That’s some kind of perverted sex toy and you’re not going anywhere near MY Rose.” *brandishes his sonic* “Now, this is a sonic screwdriver.”

“Oh, this is why I hate dealing with me. Every single one of us has a different opinion and we’re all convinced we’re the one who’s right.”

“Well… to be fair, that does sound like something I’d say.”

  • someone: i don't really like superwholock
  • superwholock fandom: WHAT?? BITCH, BACK THE FUCK UP?!? ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY "LIKE" SUPERWHOLOCK, ONE LEARNS ALL THE WAYS OF SUPERWHOLOCK, AND BELIEVE ME WE HAVE. WE KNOW HOW TO KILL YOU AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT. WE WILL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU KILLED YOURSELF, YOU LITTLE PRICK. WE KNOW HOW TO HIDE A BODY, EXORCIZE A DEMON, AND STILL HAVE TIME TO GET CAUGHT UP ON THE LASTEST SUPERNATURAL EPISODE. SAM AND DEAN? HA. YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID OF US. WE'VE GOT SONIC SCREWDRIVERS AND LOADS OF SALT AND WE ARE COMING TO GET YOU, YOU LITTLE PUNK. YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG FANDOM.

superwhovian31  asked:

Hey :) I don't know what I'm doing here but anyway... I want Cpt. Jack back!!! It would be so funny if he'd meet the 12th Doctor, don't you think? And I'm pretty excited about the 9th season and I'll go to the first Doctor Who convention in my country this year... And I still have to watch classic who because Paul McGann will come and *fangirling*

That’s awesome! What country would that be? If you take any photos there, message me about it; I’d love to see!

Along with David Tennant and Peter Capaldi, Paul McGann is one of the biggest fanboys of the show and it’s adorable. You gotta love how he supposedly personally petitioned for a new outfit, theme song, and sonic screwdriver…and received all of them. 

He attends tons of conventions and always poses for pictures, has become the most prolific of all Doctors due to his dozens of audiodramas (surpassing even Tom Baker with his media appearances), and participated in both the official (and not as official) 50th Anniversary episodes.

Check out this account of when Paul first revealed his new costume at a convention:

“The costume consists of a double-breasted black Naval jacket, with gold buttons. Part of of the ensemble is a courier pouch bag. However, the shirt and trousers were actually McGann’s own and not part of the costume.


No other information in known at present, but it is believed to have the blessing of the BBC.”

He wore his own clothes as part of his costume! It’s implied that he did this on his own! The Eighth Doctor is one of my favorite incarnations ever and Paul McGann is a blessing to this fandom, is basically what I’m saying.