i don't have a piece

I want to see Greek gods in the modern era.

I want to see Zeus in a tailored suit and shaggy beard, a walking disparity of the loud, brash, post-graduate frat boy variety who can’t pass a woman on the street without catcalls, who has more one-night stands than he could possibly keep in his head, for whom adultery comes as naturally as the weather he predicts on the Channel 4 News—with startlingly accuracy, and an endless wealth of charisma.

I want to see Hera walking tall, six-inch heels and not a wrinkle in her skirt, knowing her boyfriend is cheating, and knowing with equal certainty that she is better, stronger, fiercer than he will ever be, a wedding planner with an eye of steel, spotting vulnerability, slicing it open, teaching every woman who crosses her path to value themselves over any mistake made in the name of men and love.

I want to see Poseidon in Olympic prime, a gym rat who skives off class to shatter backstroke records, who spends his summers lifeguarding at the city pool, who keeps an ever-expanding aquarium in his bedroom and coaxes all the pretty girls up to visit his fish, his charm as impressive as the earth-rending temper he generally uses to fuel his competitive nature.

I want to see Hades, big, hulking, quieter than his brothers would ever think to be, who dresses in neat dark clothes, and polishes his boots, and spends more time reading than fighting, who debates eventuality and ethics, who stoically reminds everyone how enormous, how terrifying, how inescapable a thing like silent inevitability can be.

I want to see Hermes in a beanie, with watercolor splashes of tattoo crawling up his arms and holes in his Chucks, a bike messenger with no helmet, no regard for the rules of the road, all cataclysmic laughter, lock-pick tricks passed along to every kid who thinks to ask, thumbing through his iPhone without a care in the world.

I want to see Athena with reading glasses pushed high on her head, six books in her bag and a switchblade in her back pocket, her clothing as neatly ordered as her mind is feverish, brilliance and temper clashing and blending, doing her best to look dignified—even when her brain chemistry rockets ahead of her well-intentioned plans.

I want to see Apollo splattered with acrylics, board shorts and Monster headphones and a beautiful classic car, busking on street corners, not because he has no choice, but because the sunlight catching on a sticker-patterned acoustic is summer incarnate, because music is blood, because the act of creation is the ultimate in sublime.

I want to see Artemis in ripped jeans and haphazard topknot, star of the soccer team, the track team, the archery team, who rides a motorcycle, and keeps a tribe of girls around her at all times, and does not care for men, for expectation, for anything but volunteer hours down at the local animal shelter and falling asleep under the stars.

I want to see Aphrodite in sundress and scarf, homemade jewelry and lavish amounts of bright red lipstick, who is excellent at public speaking, at theater auditions, at soothing bruised egos and sparking epic fights, who kisses as easily as she breathes and scrawls poetry onto bathroom stalls.

I want to see Ares all but living in the boxing ring, cutoff shirts and sweats, red-faced under a crew cut as he punches, punches, punches until the noise in his head dims, a warrior with no war, all crude jokes and blind fury, totally incapable of understanding what it is to sit, think, plan before running screaming into the fray.

I want to see Demeter with the best garden you’ve seen in your life, with a lawn care business she runs out of her garage, a teenage prodigy grown into a joint-custody single mother, who teaches her carefree daughter all she knows while scaring off the hopeful neighborhood boys with the pet python draped across her shoulders.

I want to see Dionysus with a joint in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, baggy hoodies and three-week-old jeans, who brews his own beer in his basement and greets all visitors with a fresh pack of Oreos and half-stoned theories of the universe, of birth and death and partying mid-week, because why not, man?

I want to see Hephaestus with a workshop taking up the majority of his house, whose kitchen is overrun with blowtorches, whose bathrooms are home to all manner of hodge-podge invention, who walks with a cane and forgets his laundry for weeks at a time, and strings together the most beautiful steampunk costumes at any convention at the drop of a hat.

I want to see wood nymphs fighting against climate change, waving their signs and pushing for scientific progress. I want to see epic heroes sitting down to Magic: The Gathering tournaments, poker brawls, Call of Duty all-nighters with beer and snapbacks. I want to see Medusa working a women’s shelter, want to see Achilles training for deployment, want to see Prometheus serving endless community service stints for what he calls providing necessary welfare with stolen goods.

Give me modern mythology. I could play for hours in that sandbox.

Shiro wanted something big and Keith did not disappoint. Keith gave him the biggest sunflower he could find and Shiro died laughing. How can he possibly love this guy even more? So pure, too good for this world. ಥ_ಥ Redbubble  

Maybe I wanted to draw some younger Keith and Lance getting to know each other, maybe I just wanted to draw Keith in a band shirt.

Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws like puzzles. They like the finished product and they like starting them. It just the bit inbetween, the solving them part that a Ravenclaw doesn’t like to do.

ebonyheartnet  asked:

Muder dad, I have a not so little brother who likes murder strut (and run after small jet-powered children) in 6" heels, but he will not teach me his secrets. 😢 I am a sad bean, because I fall flat on my face if I try anything that's over 3" that isn't a wedge. How did you learn not to face plant?

practice and nazi science, my friend. i don’t recommend the nazi science route though. bad call. 

when you walk in heels, it’s tempting to put your whole foot down at once like you do with flats–or like you would with wedges. there’s a bit of a gentle roll to it, and if you have a single continuous sole, that’s okay.  but actually with heels you want to hit heel first, then toe–you should hear that two-stage click sound as the front and back of your foot impact separately. also, you want to keep your weight really poised; your spine straight but not stiff, and your weight more on your toe than your heel; your heel is going to be wobblier. think of something pulling upwards from the top of your head and between your shoulderblades.  if you can, do heeled boots–weakness in the ankle is what gets people a lot of the time, and even short boots will be more stable. 

if you want that hip sway, walk on a line like you’re on a balance beam. lions do this–they place their paws all along the same axis. stepping into the same centerline will push your hips side to side as you walk. it is indeed very murder-strut-y. 

when you run in heels, you run on tiptoe–your actual heel pretty much never contacts the ground. same with walking on grass–it’s exhausting, but you literally balance on just the balls of your feet so your stiletto doesn’t puncture the ground.  when you kick in heels, you kick stiletto first–otherwise whats even the point of wearing knife shoes. 

beauty is pain. and pain is heels. 

source: drunken shenanigans. so many drunken shenanigans. tony got science involved, and pepper provided expertise. steve is weirdly good at the can-can in heels, just for the record. 

you can’t know this many badass ladies who fight in heels and not have drunken conversations on how exactly they pull it off. they are a source of wonder and mystery, and the drunkvengers are determined to someday discover the secrets of heelfighting.

Listen

Song is Itsumo Nando Demo music box, original from Spirited Away

Alternate Anime Titles
  • One Piece: The Never-ending Story: The Anime Version
  • Bleach: Literally Anything that Actually Works as a Story Title Because Bleach? Come on.
  • Free!: How Gay Can We Make this Without the Characters Actually Being Gay: Water Version
  • Fullmetal Alchemist: Shitty Father: Alchemy Edition
  • Tokyo Ghoul: Why To Never Date Anyone Ever
  • Noragami: Get Yato a Shrine 2k17
  • Neon Genesis Evangellion: Shitty Father: Robot Mindfuck Edition
  • Death Note: So THAT'S Why We Aren't Supposed to Post Our Full Name and Photo Online
  • Haikyuu: How Gay Can We Make This Without the Characters Actually Being Gay: Don't-Let-the-Balloon-Touch-the-Floor Edition
  • Attack on Titan: Shitty Father: Apocalypse Edition
  • High school of the Dead: That's Not How Boobs F*cking Work
  • Fate Series: People Die when They are Killed
  • Ajin: People Don't Die when They are Killed
  • Blue Exorcist: Shitty Father: Satan Edition
  • Yuri on Ice: How Gay Can We Make This without the Charac-- WAIT NO THEY'RE ACTUALLY GAY THIS TIME!!!
  • Code Geass: Jedi Mind Trick: The Anime
  • Jojo's Bizzare Adventure: What the Actual Fuck
  • Kill la Kill: Shitty Father: Oh Wait it's the Mom that's Shitty this Time
  • The Devil is a Part-Timer: The Entire Anime is Basically a Meme
  • Durarara: FIVE MILLION PLOTLINES AT ONCE!!!
  • One Punch Man: OOONNNNEEEE PPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNCCCCHHHHH!!!!!

06_ multiple eyes

OP AU where One Piece is the new virtual reality mmo that’s just come out and is super fucking popular the world over.

At level 10, players choose whether they want to join the Marines, or become pirates.

Players who become pirates will then join up with other players to make their own “pirate crew” (guild) and set sail from their beginner island in search of new adventures.

Often, the pirate crews that beginners join at level 10 are just temporary crews until they reach one of the major cities, and can then part ways to join one of the bigger crews stationed in the Grand Line that usually have recruiters stationed at the major cities.

The beginner islands that users can choose from are scattered throughout the four Blues, and each island has its own loyalties.

The Conomi Islands, for example, are a popular starting island for players aspiring to become pirates, as it’s the HQ of the Arlong Pirates.

Whereas players looking to become Marines will, obviously, start at an island with a Marine Base.

Luffy, never being one to think things through or plan ahead, decides to choose his beginner island randomly and ends up at Dawn Island - one of the resort islands popular with those players who were just playing One Piece for the beautiful scenery. Most of these players never set foot in the Grand Line, and spend most of their time exploring the four Blues or meeting people and hanging out in the island they chose to settle down in. As a result, there aren’t very many quests to help a newbie level up, and Luffy ends up stuck on Dawn Island for a long long time as he slowly, painstakingly raises his levels through grinding, and saves enough money to buy a boat that will take him to at least one of the better suited beginner islands.

At one point, he’s almost saved when the Red Haired Pirates (a crew usually stationed in the second half of the Grand Line) visit Dawn Island so that their Captain can visit his irl wife at the bar she runs in-game, and so that she can meet the crewmates he’s always telling her so much about.

However the Captain, Red Hair Shanks, refuses to take Luffy along with them because he’s still only at level 7 and it’d be dangerous for him because even now there are like three Marine ships tailing the Red Hair Pirates, wondering what the hell they’re doing in the East Blue. He does offer to give Luffy enough Gold to buy a little boat for himself, but Luffy’s too proud to accept charity from another player.

In the end, the red hair pirates stay at Dawn Island for about a week, just relaxing before they’re thrown back into the fray of the New World, and during that time Luffy friends most of the Red Hair pirates, and also ends up accidentally eating the Gomu Gomu no mi, a super super rare item that Shanks had been planning to sell in the AH.

In the end, about a month or so after Shanks and his crew leaves, Luffy is finally able to get off Dawn Island, and begin his adventure towards becoming the Pirate King.

And the first crewmember he’s planning on recruiting?

The super infamous pk’er, Pirate Hunter Zoro!

Mars Flame Sniper!

My first ever commission is done! Rei is always a joy to draw. I love working with her hair. I think this would be the second time I’d drawn her with this attack and it’s nice to return to it. This piece also taught me a lot of new things about the vector side of Clip Studio. Lots of good things I can put toward my future work!

Thank you @sailoreuterpe for working with me!

[This design is on Redbubble! with some alternates here and here!]

7/365

Zoro and Luffy friendship/broship/second-to-captain-ship
I don’t know how you can name their relation- it’s like- superultranakamaship
I just like the dynamic. I mean, Zoro bowed to Mihawk, and Luffy offered some of his bento to Zoro. that gotta be like- Best friend stuff you know