i don't even watch dr. who but i see this everywhere

anonymous asked:

Watch Magdalen Berns. 1) Intersex = abnormality. It leans closer to male/female (ex. micro penis). Abnormalities = outliers, faulty to its purpose: reproduction. Btw intersex don't ID as genderspecial, cis do. 2) Hormones =/= sex (No 'brain sex,' please. It's empirical). "Two genders" = cis/trans. 3) Sexism is because of perception. If raised as a man, one has entitlement from birth, unlike women. This is where violence/etc. comes in. This = TERFs' issue. Btw the guy behind "gender" was abusive!

Yeah, see, I was assuming you were a TERF the whole time, but I didn’t want to say it, because I had hope you were genuinely curious instead of a hopeless bigot, but nope! I guess I should have gone with my gut feeling.

[For my readers’ sake in case you somehow don’t know this yet: TERFs are Trans-Exclusionary “Radical” “““““Feminists”””””, and I’m not using these ironic quotes for no reason. As someone else coined, they’re doing the work of the patriarchy and branding it feminism more often than not, all in the name of equating women to their uteruses so they can exclude trans women from the spaces they need and deserve.]

Just for the record before I start: I won’t be replying to any further message from you, because I honestly don’t feel like giving TERFs a platform even if it’s just long enough to refute your points. So don’t bother sending more. I’m only posting this one (and therefore bothering to argue back) because I want to make it clear that TERFs are not welcome here.

I don’t even know where to start. But hey, you listed them with handy numbers, let’s do that.

  1. Sorting people as “abnormalities”? Because there’s nothing more scientific than saying everything that doesn’t fit your bias is just wrong, right? It’s not like the “norm” isn’t in and of itself something we as a society decided upon (social constructs! They’re everywhere!)
    “Intersex don’t ID as genderspecial” [I had to look that up, because I guess TERFs had to come up with another term once tucute was thoroughly ridiculed] is…not even a debunking of my point? I only pointed out intersex people exist as a debunking of the sex binary, not the gender binary.
    As for saying that the purpose of gender and/or sex is reproduction: wow, way to really fail to earn that F in the TERF acronym, right? Because there’s nothing more feminist than reducing people (especially women) into their sex organs!
  2. Hormones isn’t sex? Okay. So you’re telling me that, as a cis man, if I go to a doctor, they won’t assume that I have high levels of testosterone and low levels of estrogen? I’m not saying hormones alone define sex. Then again, I am saying we need to move away from sex as a notion altogether and start talking about the specifics of what is relevant to any given conversation. So really, I’m wondering if you’re not just regurgitating talking points.
    “Brain sex”? Where did I use that? That’s an obsolete theory and it’s one that enforces the gender binary and sexist gender roles by saying that the “male” and “female” brain are fundamentally different. Of course I’m not defending that theory.
    “Two genders = cis/trans”…um. I’m starting to feel you don’t even know what gender is on a colloquial level. Are you saying a cis man and a cis woman have the same gender?
  3. Ah, the good old “trans women have male privilege”. I mean, I didn’t even bring it up anywhere, but sure, I’ll be happy to address it while I’m at it.
    Trans women don’t have male privilege while in the closet, anymore than a gay person who’s in the closet has straight privilege. They’re in the closet. There’s a reason the closet is considered a bad place to be. Does a closeted trans woman face different forms of violence as a cis woman, or as a trans woman who’s out and presents as a woman? Well, yeah, of course. But it doesn’t mean they face none at all, or that they have privilege.

And then we devolve into “the guy behind ‘gender’ was abusive” which…I don’t even know how to properly refute. I mean, gender has been a grammatical notion since…I don’t know, forever? I assume you mean the person who coined gender as a part of a person’s identity (if there even is a singular person who did that, which again, I highly doubt, seeing as the notion derived from grammar), but even then, it’s not like gender didn’t exist beforehand. We didn’t suddenly start identifying as male and female (and eventually as other genders) because one guy said we should.

Besides, you know, [citation needed] and all.

tl;dr I’m not interested in debating TERFs, you can go away and never come back, please and thank you, bye. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

10 Things I hate about you - 5sos (mostly Calum Hood and Michael Clifford)

Requested - no

A/N: This was for Calum’s birthday but now it’s part of my new project so it’ll be extra long. I’m in love with the movie and I feel a real connection to he guidance teacher Miss Perky 

Also Joseph Gordon Levitt reminds me so much of fetus Calum

This will be complicated as there are two [Y/N]s pick one and the other you can make a real or fictional sister of yours

Character comparison ~
Katarina Stratford :: [Y/N/1] Stratford (if you wanna be with Mikey)
Bianca Stratford :: [Y/N/2] Stratford (if you wanna be with Cal)
Cameron James :: Calum
Patrick Verona :: Michael
Michael (not clifford) :: Luke
Joey Donner :: Ashton

Word Count - 5535

‘I don’t give a damn about my reputation’ the classic lyrics of Joan Jett blares out her car covering the lame and overplayed mainstream music coming from the radio of the painfully plastic popular girls’ car as she pulls up beside them. Exchanging a death glare she presses her foot to accelerator speeding past the lights as they turn green, that’s [Y/N/1] Stratford; school renowned feminist, indie-punk-rocker, sister of [Y/N/2] Stratford and daughter of obstetrician Dr. Stratford. Storming through the parking lot she spots one of the prom committee pinning up a poster drenched in glitter just outside the school entrance.

As she walks passed she rips it down tossing it aside earning an annoyed, “Hey!” from the prom girl as she jumps to pick it up again.

Meanwhile, in the guidance office, new student Calum Hood is having the obligatory meeting with guidance counselor Miss Perky. He isn’t sure that she’s even noticed that he’s with her in the room but watches her typing on her computer, seeing the reflection of some erotic novel she’s writing in her glasses.

He coughs loudly to get her attention and is surprised when she suddenly chirps, “So Calum have you been to many other schools?”

“Yeah, we moved around a lot as a kid-” he begins.

“I didn’t ask for your life story, now Calum I have novel to finish and you have classes to attend, I have arranged for someone to show you around, if you have any real problems you may pay me a visit, but only if,” she shoos.

Calum stands with a puzzled look seeing how little of a shit his new go to teacher gives and leaves to wander down the flooded corridors.

“Calum?” a sudden voice calls tapping him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Calum responds.

“Hi I’m Luke, I’ve been assigned to show you around,” this smartly dressed blonde greets shaking his hand.

“Oh good I got someone bordering the lines of cool,” Calum giggles ever so slightly. “Normally they end up sending one of those mathletes”

Luke laughs along but suddenly 3 or more geeky looking nerds with bowties swerve round the corner, “Hey Luke, we were thinking of a way to solve that equation-”

Luke shoves the boy away and ignores him just as the bell rings.

“So any advice for this school?” Calum questions.

“Stay under the radar and all will be fine,” Luke says. “And especially don’t talk to the popular kids, well unless that talk to you first”

“Is that your rule or theirs?" 

"Just watch,” Luke says spotting school hot shot Ashton on the corner. “Hey Ashton”

“Bite me nerd,” Ashton hisses.

“See what I mean”

Luke lives out the day as Calum’s personal tour guide, taking him from class to class and at lunch he finds him stood waiting outside his art class.

“Ready for lunch?” he questions and Calum follows.

Luke takes Calum through each and every group of people from the coffee enthusiasts to the wanna-be Marleys, his voice growing angry when he gets to the honour roll kids.

“I used to be their god,” he snaps with a hint of resentment.

“What happened?” Calum questioned.

“Bogie Lowenstein started a rumour that I shop at thrift shops, which is apparently a big no-no,” Luke informs. “But I’ve got plans to get them back to my side, just you-”

“Hod up,” Calum stops him, his eyes locking on something across the court yard. “Who is she?”

Luke then sees just who he’s looking at.

“Ugh, [Y/N/2] Stratford, the most painfully vapid person you’ll ever meet,” Luke tells him, an obvious distaste for her evident in his tone.

“Really? That’s not what it looks like,” Calum replies in an awestruck state. “She looks pretty perfect to me”

“You’re under the same impression every other guy has, I assume you like the look of her then?”

“'Like the look of her’ is an understatement, I burn, I pine, I perish,” Calum dramaticises.

“Slow down there boy, she’s not all that impressive, really,” Luke sighs.

“I’m certainly impressed, just look at her, her hair, her eyes, her smile”

“Well you’re out of luck, her dad doesn’t let her or her sister date, besides she’s more into that type,” he points at the group of football jocks gathered around the trash cans.

“And who’s he? The ringleader?” Calum questions about the curly haired ass that Luke had the audacity to talk to earlier in the day.

“You could say that, he’s Ashton, the usual type for people like the [Y/N/2]s everywhere”

Just then Ashton eyes up [Y/N/2] and begins whispering among his friends, something along the lines of, “I could tap that so easily, but I won’t do it for a bet, this I’ll do for fun”

That afternoon in Mr Morgan’s English class Ashton sits in a leisurely fashion, his bag over the back of his chair, and him sat half in half out of the chair so he can easily talk with his friends.

“Now class, let us talk about Hemingway’s 'The Sun Also Rises’,” Mr Morgan says.

“Oh it was so romantic,” a girl swoons.

“Romantic? Hemingway?” [Y/N/1] suddenly says, her presence so far unnoticed to most of the class. “He was an alcoholic, misogynist”

“Oh here we go again,” Ashton groans.

Just then the school’s most feared punk boy, Michael, appears in the doorway, “What did I miss?”

“The same bullshit we always learn about,” [Y/N/1] sighs.

“Oh good,” Michael grins slightly before turning and leaving.

“Miss Stratford, can we get through one lesson without your constant need to express your opinion?”

That day, after all classes are over, the school empties sending a wave of over 100 students into the parking lot.

“Nice bike, asswad,” one of Ashton’s many followers spits at Luke as he climbs onto his moped.

Ashton laughs and climbs into his car and drives forward, stopping when he sees [Y/N/2] Stratford with her friend Chastity.

“You girls want a ride?”

The idea of being driven home by the school’s hottest senior sending them into a flurry of excitement they both jump and climb into the back before squealing as he drives off.

“Well that’s a charming new development,” [Y/N/1]’s best friend Mandella says.

“Ugh, I don’t even want to know,” [Y/N/1] sighs turning the key in her orange car and going to drive.

Just as she goes to move Luke pulls out in front of her.

“Remove head from sphincter then drive,” she exclaims.

Quickly Luke gets out of the way and allows the bitch of a girl to get on her way.

“Well isn’t she a delight,” Calum comments as Luke wheels his way over.

“Not the ripest fruit in the picnic basket, but that my friend is the sister of that little crush of yours,” Luke laughs at his misfortune.

“That’s [Y/N/2]’s sister? Awh man”

“Yeah, see you around buddy”

With that Luke begins to drive off again only to get in the way of another car making him swerve and end up driving down the hill beside the parking lot tumbling down among the laughter of most of the senior year.

At the Stratford residence [Y/N/1] sits at the window reading one of her primarily feminist books when her father, Dr Stratford walks in.

“Make anyone cry today?” he questions, straight off the bat.

“Sadly no, but it’s only 4:30,” she smiles. “Did any thing come in the mail today?”

“A little something from East Coast Colleges, for you, I didn’t think you’d want it, I thought you were going to school here, like I did,” her father continues.

“Are you kidding? That’s what you decided, I want to get far away from this place,” she chuckles at his ignorance.

She senses that he’s going to go of one of his long lectures but luckily for her, just as he begins he sister arrives home.

“Enough of this dad, why don’t you as [Y/N/2] who drover her home,” she smirks.

“No, wait who drove you home?” he gets distracted.

“No one,” the younger sister defends.

“No one? Try Ashton Irwin,” [Y/N/1] throws her in the deep end.

“Ashton Irwin? That sounds like a boys name,” he worries.

“It is”

“Now, [Y/N/2] you know my rules on dating”

“I know daddy but I’m the only girl is school not dating,” [Y/N/2] whines

“I’m not,” [Y/N/1] adds.

“Exactly and it’s done no harm to her,” Dr Stratford points out.

“But it’s just not fair!”

“Fine,” he sighs. “New rule, [Y/N/2] can date… when [Y/N/1] does”

“That could be never, she’s a freak,” [Y/N/2] yelps.

“That’s the point”

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days pass and Calum begins to lose hope on ever talking to [Y/N/2], that is until Luke comes across the information that she needs a french tutor. Obviously Calum jumps at the chance, the only problem is he needs to learn french. 

“Can we make this quick there’s about to be a very public break upon the quad,” [Y/N/2] says as she shows up.

“Huh? Oh, maybe this isn’t a good time to be doing this, we could meet some other time, say Friday for dinner?” Calum risks.

“Calum, are you asking me out?”

“Sort of, I guess, I figured your dad may make an exception if it’s for french,” he proceeds.

“It’s not as easy as that, Column,” she begins.

“Calum,” he corrects to no avail.

“My dad is only letting me date when my sister does,” she tells hi. “So you’d need to get someone to do that”

“I’m sure that someone wouldn’t mind a difficult woman, it’d be like extreme dating, I’m sure I could find someone

“Really? You’d do that for me?” she places a hand on his forearm.

“Hell yeah,” he exclaims. “I mean I think I could do that”

After bringing up the idea with Luke he agrees to help. They spend the whole day asking around subtly with no success, that is until they get to Biology.

Paying no attention to the frog he’s meant to be dissecting Calum looks around the class, “What about that guy?”

Luke turns and sees Calum is talking about Michael and so quickly adds, “Don’t look at him”

“What? Why?” Calum says.

“He could kill you with a pinky finger, he’s apparently eaten a live duck, set a state trooper on fire, had an unsuccessful porn career, sold his liver on the black market for new speakers and spent all of last year in prison”

Unconvinced Calum glances at him again and sees him flick a scalpel around in his hand before plunging it into the frog in front of him, “That’s our guy”

That day in woodshop Calum decides to take the courageous job of actually talking to Michael, so when he’s gotten up the courage he walks across the room with his french text book held up in front of him as some kind of protection.

“Hi,” he begins and Michael turns

Before Calum can even say anything further before Michael has turned on a drill and begins drilling a hole straight through the boo.

Luke laughs seeing this, “What we need is a backer”

“Like who?”

“I have ideas”

In the lunch room that day Luke sees exactly who he needs, Ashton Irwin sat drawing various phallic images on a lunch tray. Luke takes a seat in the empty chair next to him with a smile on his face only to be met but the various confused and disgusted faces of the group.

“Can I help you?” Ashton says.

“Hi, I’m Luke, ” he holds out a hand to shake but nothing comes of it so he pulls it away again, “Ok, no? I have a proposition for you”

“What makes you think I even want to talk to you,” Ashton says grabbing Luke’s head and continuing his dick drawing on his face.

“Well word is you’re looking to date the younger Stratford sister,” Luke explains.

“So, what does that have to do with you?” Ashton continues in a hostile fashion.

“Well, the only way that’s going to happen is if you get someone to date her sister,” Luke says

“I’ve heard that”

“Well, have you ever consider paying someone to take [Y/N/1] out?” Luke adds.

Suddenly Ashton is listening, “Go on”

“Well hat if you payed Michael to take her out, that way you get to date the sister with only a little extra cost”

That’s where Ashton is on board and Luke returns to Calum.

“What are you doing getting him involved?” Calum whines.

“Trust me, we can get him to pay, make him think he’s calling the shots while we’re in complete control”

Calum sighs and walks off Leaving Luke on his own.

He suddenly comes to the realization, “I have a dick on my face on’t I”

Ashton talks to Michael and comes to an agreement with him that for $50 per date he will take [Y/N/1] out and so, after she’s done with football practice he wanders over.

“Hey there girlie, how’s it going?” he smirks.

“Sweating like a pig actually yourself?” she greets.

“Ah, same old,” he sighs

“Is there any reason you’re over here talking to me?” she questions sipping her water.

“Well I was wondering if you wanted to go out this Friday, I mean if you have nothing better to do,” Michael asks.

“No thank you,” she says.

“Fine then Saturday, or Sunday, whenever you want,” he tries to persuade.

“I’ve never seen the point in it so I will suggest you stop trying and leave me alone,” she walks away.

Calum and Luke go to find Michael to talk over the plans with him as it becomes apparent that he doesn’t know the right version on the plans and he only knows Ashton’s ideas.

“H-hey, man,” Calum stammers walking up to Michael

“Did you not get a clear message last time we spoke?” Michael says.

“No we need to talk to you about the Stratford sisters,” Calum says.

“You see my man Calum has a major thing for [Y/N/2] Stratford,” Luke interrupts.

“What’s with this chick? She have beer flavoured nipples of something?” Michael questions.

“No, I believe that the love Ashton has for [Y/N/2] is impure compared to Calum’s,” Luke continues.

“Listen I’m getting payed I don’t really care, Ashton can plow whoever he wants”

“Hey,” Calum cuts in, “There will be no plowing”

“So you’re saying you’re going to help me tame the beast?” Michael chuckles. “How exactly are you going to do tht?”

“We have an idea,” Luke grins slapping down an invite to the yearly honour roll part at Bogie Lowenstein’s place.

As revenge for the rumours he started, Luke has the media geeks make posters for Bogie’s party advertising free beer and together, he and Calum toss them down the stairwell for everyone to find.

Over the course of the next few days Calum tears information about [Y/N/1] out of [Y/N/2] while he’s meant to be teaching her French, learning every last detail he can possibly get that would help get her to like Michael, also hoping that he may also get [Y/N/2] to get really into him.

“How do you suppose I get [Y/N/1] to go to this party with me then?” Michael asks.

“Well her sister told me she’s going to the 1975 concert at the weekend in that weird cat club downtown,” Calum says.

“A secret show,” Luke adds.

“You’re going to make me go to that girl power club?”

“Well if you want to keep your money then yeah”

“Oh one other thing,” Calum adds. “[Y/N/2] told me that she only really likes pretty guys”

Michael furrows his brow at them, “Are you saying that I’m not a pretty guy?”

It takes a good 15 minutes to persuade Michael to go to the concert but he does and on the night of the concert he enters the club with dozens of angry girls staring at him, it doesn’t phase him though. It isn’t difficult to spot [Y/N/1] dancing at the front of the room and Michael has to admit, she does look pretty attractive. Instead of approaching her directly he takes a seat at the bar, realizing he knows the bartender and orders a drink.

“I’m off to get water,” she calls to her best friend, Mandella, over the music.

She asks the bartender for the bottles of water she desires but catches the eye of Michael say only a few feet away

Rolling her eyes she walks up to him, “What do you suppose you’re doing here?”

“Do you mind, you’re kind of harshing my buzz,” he smirks.

“You like this music?” she raises her eye brows at him.

“Yeah, I mean it’s up there with bands like Kodaline and The Neighborhood for me,” he stands and walks to the edge of the dance floor, thankful he did some research before he arrived.

She seems slightly dumbfounded by this sudden revelation but moves to stand next to him again.

“You know I saw you dancing out there,” he calls over the music but just as a song ends meaning when he adds, “I’ve never seen you look so sexy,” that’s all that can be heard.

The whole room laughs and [Y/N/1] goes to walk away

“Go to Bogie’s party with me,” he catches her arm.

Once more she rolls her eyes and begins to walk away again.

“Is that a yes?” he questions.

“No,” she grins in response.

“So it was a no?”

“No”

“I’ll pick you up at 7 then”

That evening, before Bogie’s party, [Y/N/2] is getting ready to go with her friend.

“Bye, daddy,” she says heading for the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he booms.

“To study,” her friend lies.

“Not dressed like that! You’re going to a party aren’t you?”

“Yes but dad, everyone is going!” [Y/N/2] begs.

“You know the rules, is your sister going?” he proceeds.

The two girls sigh but suddenly [Y/N/1] appears in the stairway, “I’m offto a party, dad”

The other two squeal.

“What?” their father’s eyes widen.

“So we can go now, right?” [Y/N/2] grins.

Their father seems angry, “I want you to wear the belly”

Both sisters groan while the last girl looks remarkably confused. Suddenly the father pulls out a strange jacket-like thing in the shape of a pregnant stomach and forces [Y/N/2] to put it on, supposedly simulating what it’s like to be pregnant.

“I want to stop you from creating any bad life decisions,” he says.

Then there’s a knock at the door. When it opens there is Michael stood on the other side.

“What are you doing here?” [Y/N/1] asks.

“I’m here to pick you up for the party, it’s seven o'clock isn’t it?” he smiles in an almost charming manner, he looks past her to the other Stratford sister. “Who knocked her up?”

Meanwhile at Bogie’s house the party is yet to begin. Inside are the honour roll students enjoying a fine evening with wine and cheese when there is an abrupt knock at the door.

Bogie stands, “That must be Nigel with the bree”

However when he opens the door they let in a stampede of high school kids equipped with music and alcohol.

Luke and Calum arrive just as the party is getting into full swing and instantly Calum sets off to find [Y/N/2]. When he finally locates her they only exchange a few words before she is whisked off by the likes of Ashton Irwin, that’s when Calum realizes, she never did like him afterall. 

While [Y/N/2] is being bored by Ashton’s idiotic ramblings that lack intelligence [Y/N/1] is getting strange looks from all around, that’s when she decides, where’s the best place to get drunk? At a high school party.

The night wears on until [Y/N/1] is completely wasted.

“How’d you do it?” Ashton questions Michael.

“How’d I do what?” Michael adds.

“Make her act like a human?”

Just then a new song starts and [Y/N/1] climbs on top of the table to begin dancing/ Crows of people stand around her cheering for her until Michael decides he needs to go her rescue.

“Get down from there you’ll hurt yourself,” Michael says.

“No get away from me,” she spits but as she stands upright she hits her head on a low hanging light fixture causing her to fall down from the table and into Michael’s arms.

“Let’s get you to a seat”

On the way out of the party Michael stumbles across Calum who stops him, questioning his situation with [Y/N/2].

“Listen dude, do you like the girl?” Michael asks and Calum nods vigorously. “Then tell her, and don’t waste your time”

Michael gets [Y/N/1] to a swing set at the side of the house where he props her up, trying to make sure she doesn’t pass out.

The party gets disbanded early meaning a houseful of high schoolers are turned out onto the street.

“The party is continuing at my place, wanna come?” Ashton asks [Y/N/2] when he finds her stood beside her friend.

“No I can’t, I need to home in a half an hour,” she says.

“Well I’m up for it,” her friend says.

Ashton easily settles for her leaving [Y/N/2] stood with no way to get home that’s when she spots Calum.

“C-calum?” she approaches him.

“Oh, it’s you,” he sighs. “What do you want?”

“Uh, I was wondering, could you maybe give me a ride home?" 

Calum rolls his eyes and reluctantly nods.

They have a silent ride back to the Stratford house but when they pull up [Y/N/2] speaks up, "Thanks for the ride”

Calum doesn’t say a thing.

“Calum, I know that you’re mad but there’s no need to be…”

“To be what? Perfectly rational, you made me think you actually liked me and then went of with Ashton-”

Calum is cut off when she presses her lips to his and immediately leaves.

Calum can’t help but smile as he drums his fingers against the steering wheel and says, “I’m back in the game”

[Y/N/1] however finds herself in need of a ride home too, instead she hitches a ride with Michael..

“Why do you waste your time with me?” she says in a severely drunk manner.

“Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?” he chuckles.

There’s a moment of silence and tension between the two of them but suddenly [Y/N/1] begins to lean in for a kiss.

“Stop,” Michael says.

All of a sudden embarrassed [Y/N/1] gathers up her things and exits the car.

“No wait, I didn’t mean it like that-” but it’s too late.

That’s the last she talks to Michael for a little while but Calum on the other hand is happy as ever.

“Okay, Luke and I have got other ideas to help you get her back,” Calum says sitting down next to Michael on the bleachers.

“Why do you even care anymore, I thought you’d given up on trying to date her sister,” Michael continues.

“That was until she kissed me,” Calum smiles slightly.

“Where?" 

"In the car,” he responds.

Michael gives him a confused look but then laughs it off, “Listen, just leave it, I don’t think I’m in this for any of the good reasons anymore”

That afternoon Ashton approaches Michael at his locker.

“Here’s $100 I want you to take [Y/N/1] to prom so that I can take [Y/N/2]”

“No chance man, the deal’s off,” Michael replies.

“Fine, $200,” Ashton sighs.

“You’ve got the wrong guy for it now I’m afraid,” Michael continues.

“300”

Michael accepts it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How do you suppose I ask her to prom then?” Michael turns to Calum for help a few days later.

“I’m not sure, I thought she’d have cooled off by now,” Calum says.

“What do you think then?” Michael sighs now looking at Luke.

“Not sure but I can’t help guys I have my own prom plans to be getting on with,” Luke wastes no time in skipping off.

“Listen, it has to be big, that’s all I know,” Calum says.

And Michael hatches an idea.

That afternoon, during the girls’ football practice, Michael taps into the sound system and pays the wind band to play for him. 

Situated at the top of the bleachers he begins to sing, “You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you”

He begins to wander down the bleachers, step by step just as the band begins playing, his eyes locked on [Y/N/1] at all times, but by the end of the song he’s being taken off to detention.

While in detention [Y/N/1] decides to pay them a visit.

“Uh, sir,” she says to the teacher in charge. “I have something to talk to you about, it’s about the girl’s football team”

“Great then it can wait,” he says.

“No it can’t”

He rolls his eyes and turns away from the class long enough for [Y/N/1] to signal to Michael to sneak out the window.

“Okay so here’s my idea”

 She begins to talk some complete rubbish about misdirection in order to give Michael enough time to sneak out but he begins to have trouble with opening the window. Just as the teacher is about to turn around catch Michael in the act [Y/N/1] lifts up her shirt and flashes him in order to save Michael.

“Okay so that’s my plan, and I’m uh, gonna go show someone else the plan,” she hesitates before running off.

The two bunk off school for the rest of the afternoon and decide to go paintballing, since that’s apparently the only option for them.

“You’re going down, Clifford,”  she says pulling on her mask.

“Bring it on, Stratford,” he grins.

They spend a good few hours attacking each other before falling down into a pile of hay stationed in the middle of the paintball arena. Without either party really comprehending what was happening the two of them ended up kissing.

Michael drives her home after that and sits with her on the front porch as she brushes her fingers through her hair, trying to get out some of the dried paint.

“So what did you actually do to get me out of detention,? I missed it,” Michae lquestions.

“Uh, you know I dazzled him with my wit,” she lies.

After a short conversation that dies Michael decides to come out straight with it, “Go to prom with me”

“Is that a request or a demand?” she proceeds.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t see you as a prom kind of guy, what’s in it for you?” she furrows her brow.

Suddenly very tense Michael has to refrain from yelling, “Do I need a motive to want to be with you?”

[Y/N/1] looks at her feet, “I guess not”

While all of the has been going on Luke has been hatching his own prom plans that involve breaking into the locker of a certain Shakespeare lover by the name of Mandella’s locker and leaving a note and a prom dress. Mandella is a Shakespeare fanatic, so much so that she has a crazy delusion that the man she will end up with will be the reincarnation of Shakespeare himself. So naturally she gets excited when she finds a Shakespearean dress and a note that reads;

I will meet you at the prom my love ~ William

Everything is going off without a hitch so on the night of the prom [Y/N/1] gets dressed up fancy and goes to leave.

“Bye, dad, I’m off to prom,” she calls as she heads out the front door.

“Nice one,” her father laughs before realizing that she actually is leaving for prom.

Not even 5 minutes later [Y/N/2] is jogging down stairs in her own prom dress.

“And where do you think you’re going?” her father springs up.

“To prom,” she says cautiously.

“Oh no you’re not,” he defends.

“Come on, daddy, it’s not like its dangerous”

“Yes it is, do you know what happens at proms?” he points a finger at her.

“Yes, we’ll dance, we’ll kiss, we’ll come home,” she sighs.

“Kissing? Kissing isn’t what keeps me up to my elbows in placenta,” he exclaims. “And I know exactly why you want to go, you want to get with that Ashton fellow,” just then there’s a knock on the door, “That’ll be him now, right?”

“Actually no,” [Y/N/2] says.

And when Dr. Stratford opens the door there is Calum stood on the other side.

Both sisters are allowed to go to prom as does Luke who dresses in his most Shakespearean attire and finds Mandella easily. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Michael says to [Y/N/1].

“What?” she gives him a confused look.

He nods towards the stage jut as the 1975’s Matt Healy walks out, “I called in a favour”

Needless to say this act earns him a kiss.

A problem none of the 3 matchmakers had thought of was, what would happen when Ashton shows up to take [Y/N/2] to prom and finds she’s gone with Calum? That question is answered when he shows up with her best friend and begins an immediate search for Michael.

“What the fuck, bro? I didn’t pay you to take out the sister so she could turn up with Calum,” Ashton gives Michael a sharp shove.

But currently the only thing that Michael is worried about is [Y/N/1].

“He payed you?” she yells.

She storms out only leaving Michael to chase after her.

“The shit hath hit-eth the fan…. eth,” Luke whispers to Calum as he dances past him.

At this point alum decides to stand up not just for himself but both the Stratford sisters and so he walks up to Ashton and says, “Hey I’ve got a bone to pick with you”

Without giving him a chance to say any more Ashton punches Calum square in the nose causing him to fall to the floor which is when [Y/N/2] steps up.

She slaps him in the face, “That’s for trying to ruin my night,” she punches him in the gut, “That’s for making my date bleed,” and she knees him in the crotch, “And that… was for me”

For everyone things go back to normal after that, well for everyone but Michael and [Y/N/1], they’re not talking but in English they’re assigned to write poetry.

“So who wants to read what they’ve come up with?” the teacher questions.

“I will,” [Y/N/1] says reluctantly.

“Oh god hear we go,” the teacher sighs, speaking the thoughts of most of the class.

She stands and reads;

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you’re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close…
not even a little bit…
not even at all.

[Y/N/1] has to leave the classroom as she breaks down into tears and Michael, feeling suddenly terrible has to chase after her.

He catches her at her car and watches as she opens the door to see a guitar, the best there is and is dumbfounded.

“How did you…?” she turns to Michael, wiping away tears.

“I had some spare cash lying around. This douche of a guy payed me to take out this really awesome girl but I screwed up, I fell for her,” he says.

She smiles and looks at her feet, bashful.

“Besides, it’s not every day you find a girl who’s willing to flash someone to get you out of detention,” he smirks.

She literally face palms and groans but is reassured when she feels Michael’s hand at her waist and pulls her in for a kiss.

“You know, you can’t keep buying me guitars whenever you mess up,” she pulls away from his kiss.

“Yeah I know, but you know there’s always drums and bass and maybe even one day a tambourine”

——————-

A/N: That was a little complicated to write so I’m sorry if it’s very shitty

add me on snapchat - brodie5sauce

Masterlist

sophisticatedloserchick  asked:

Westallen for "things you said when you thought i was asleep" --- One of my all time favorite fic tropes <3

Continuing my grand tradition of prompt fills that are nowhere near what you were picturing.

You and Me and the Devil Makes Three

Iris always used the ride up in the elevator to compose herself, to blink her eyes dry, to put her shoulders back and settle a bright, sunny smile on her face, ready to greet the Star Labs staff. What there was of them, anymore. “How is he today?”

Cisco looked nonplussed at the question. He usually did. “Uh. Still comatose. Sorry.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Linking to that anon about Bridgette being a stalker: Let's face it, Felix may have become Adrien and Adrien goes about the whole thing nicer, but c'mon, Marinette? She's still a stalker, no matter which way you slice it. She knows his schedule to heart, has no qualms with "borrowing" his phone and watches his from a distance on a regular basis. If she's not a stalker, I don't know what she is anymore...

yep, she absolutely is!

it’s a little different, though, mostly because adrien and marinette are so young (at least, i assume felix and bridgette aren’t 15) so marinette’s actions don’t have the same social impact as they would if they were older. she’s fourteen years old and head over heels in love; she just doesn’t know better and at that age it’s forgivable! it shouldn’t be encouraged, that’s for sure, but it’s forgivable.

lots of other factors go into it, too, like the fact we know adrien is a celebrity - how much privacy does he really get? marinette does have a whole chart drawn up of his schedule, but did she get that from eavesdropping and following him around everywhere or did he talk about it in some teen magazine interview and she just filled in the blanks with what she could get? she does have pictures of him everywhere, but those look like they’re all clipped out of magazines instead of being stalkerish candids.

i think we’ve got to remember that this is marinette’s big problem: that, as good as her intentions are, she still sees the celebrity side of adrien and not the human one. it’s why she can hardly stand chat noir romancing her in comparison; she has an idealistic image of the boy she wants and can’t even begin to recognise the ‘real’ adrien when he’s standing right in front of her. she doesn’t even see him as an option, despite chat noir often being down on his knees for her and adrien being wholly unattainable - she’s got this celebrity worship thing going on big time, and the fact adrien restrains himself so much in his civilian persona means the realisation that he’s a real person hasn’t yet set in for marinette and made her calm down. he’s not quite acting like a real person, so she’s still in this dreamlike daze about him. 

(that’s also why Kung Food was so important, since it’s the first time we see marinette actually become comfortable with adrien and hang out with him as friends instead of a fan with a celebrity crush. she’s too distracted and upset by the cookery competition to freak out, and the results between them are amazing!)

it also explains how easily and (usually) guiltlessly she follows him around and accesses his personal information; celebrities get a far different degree of privacy! if they’re in the public eye their lives are usually seen as completely open to scrutiny, and i heavily doubt marinette is the only teenage girl in paris who’s done so much research on adrien. chloé, aurore and mireille look like they’ve got their homework too, and those are only the characters with names! it might be unusual for marinette to have quite so much on him, but i think that’s just because she’s one of the only people close enough to get it, and with the way the media probably treats adrien marinette sees nothing wrong with what she’s doing!

there’s not really an excuse for stealing his phone, but we do have to consider how the situation looked for marinette! she’s still too shy to approach him and then accidentally sends a message which could destroy every chance she’d ever have with her dream boy - and in all fairness, she was only planning to get into his locker to delete the message; she didn’t realise he’d have a password on his phone that would take her longer to crack than she had time in the locker room for! it wasn’t as if she was going through all his stuff (and oh my god, imagine if he had a million selfies as chat noir and she missed them because she was determined not to invade his privacy any more than she already had). that was a risky fix for an almost unsalvageable situation which went totally out of control, and i guess at the very least, the only phone she’s stolen since then has been alya’s…

i think a lot of this also benefits from the fact that adrien isn’t aware of it, which is definitely set apart from the way bridgette approaches felix. she’s way more full-on and utterly unashamed of her stalking, as sweet as she is, and the difficult thing about that is how acutely felix knows he’s being trailed around and treated like a curiosity instead of a person. their relationship is as sour as it could possibly be given the circumstances, and while marinette and adrien have a similar dynamic there are a lot of elements which make it much sweeter.

tl;dr, marinette is a stalker, but the circumstances behind what she does make it a lot less damaging! all in all she’s just a little girl with close access to her celebrity crush who has yet to realise he’s just a regular person. that said, i still hope adrien doesn’t find out about half the stuff she’s done because oh my god.

If you're going to hate John Winchester, do it accurately: It Was Never About Revenge

Look, folks, it was never about revenge, it was about protecting the kids. John didn’t care about revenge: he never cited it; it was an assumption that others made, and one which John was probably content to let them think in order to hide the truth: that Azazel had a connection with Sam. All the proof is there in the canon. The writers just didn’t beat us over the head with it.

Note: I divided this into two parts; it just worked better that way.

                                             ———————–

I. What John Knew and When

AFAIK the show never gives a clear answer as to when John learned of the Sam/Azazel connection, but we do have some clues suggesting that he at least suspected Azazel had targeted his family specifically and that it probably had to do with Sam. First, John — as far back as Sam and Dean remember — never shared any theories about Azazel with them:

DEAN: Well, you know Dad’s story as well as I do: Mom was—was on the ceiling. And whatever put her there was long gone by the time Dad found her.

SAM: And he never had a theory about what did it?

DEAN: If he did he kept it to himself. God knows we asked him enough times. (1.09)

Clearly John had made a decision long ago NOT to include the boys on his theories about Azazel. And it’s not just because he didn’t want to talk about the events surrounding it: he would talk about Mary’s death. Additionally, John has an excessive level of anxiety about protecting Sam as far back as Sam being a young child. I don’t think I need to cite all the evidence to convince people of THAT one – the flashback in 1.18 ALONE should be a huge red flag. Then there’s this exchange between John in Azazel in 2.01:

AZAZEL: You know the truth, right? About Sammy? And the other children?

JOHN: Yeah. I’ve known for a while.

And then there’s the fact that in 1.21 John states it was about protecting his family and makes no mention of revenge: “After your mother passed, all I saw was evil, everywhere. And all I cared about was keeping you boys alive. I wanted you prepared. Ready.” (I know this quote is longer but I’m going to repost the whole thing later). Ask yourself this: why would John drag his sons all over the country, leaving them alone in motel rooms, exposing them to monsters, if his entire motivation was safety? The logical conclusion is that the only reason John would expose his sons to the dangers of hunting is if it were more dangerous NOT TO, meaning he believed that their family was still in imminent danger and that this wasn’t a random monster attack.

I mean can you really say John wasn’t motivated to protect his children when he flat out states it and the rest of the evidence supports it? I could stop the essay right here and now, but I’m going to drive this home with all the evidence I can because this shit needs to get out.

II. Sam’s Skewed Perception as the Dramatic Force in John’s “Arc”

Now let’s explore Sam’s relationship with his father throughout the first season, because when you look at the amount of focus on Sam’s view of his father, it becomes clear that Sam had a VERY skewed image of John’s motives, and that the writers were playing off of it for narrative purposes. (This is not, by the way, a criticism of Sam: Sam’s assumptions were logical. It was John who chose to never correct them, because he’d rather let Sam hate him than reveal the truth.)

In 1.04, Sam is surprised to hear his dad was proud of him at college (JERRY: “Well, he was real proud of you. I could tell. He talked about you all the time.”) In 1.08 Dean explains why John didn’t want Sam to go to college:

DEAN: Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared.

SAM: What are you talking about?

DEAN: He was afraid of what could’ve happened to you if he wasn’t around. But even when you two weren’t talking, he used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe.

This must not have been convincing for Sam, because in 1.11, when John tells them to stop looking for him for the sake of their own safety, Sam refuses to accept it and briefly pursues John. Now I don’t think in that particular instance Sam didn’t believe John per se, but I think he may have thought John was pushing it too much as an excuse to control his sons. And that’s something that he expresses in 1.20 when they fight: “You’re the one who said don’t come back, Dad, you closed that door, not me. You were just pissed off that you couldn’t control me anymore!”

So, what’s clearly being established here is: Sam thinks John is a control freak who was mad he left for college because he couldn’t control him anymore; but at the same time we’ve gotten evidence that John has in these instances been motivated at least in part by wanting to protect Sam (and Dean) and that Sam doesn’t recognize/believe it. And it’s a theme that SEEMS to come to a resolution in 1.21…

JOHN: You gotta understand something. After your mother passed, all I saw was evil, everywhere. And all I cared about was keeping you boys alive. I wanted you prepared. Ready. Except somewhere along the line I stopped being your father and I became your drill sergeant. So when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all I could think about, my only thought was, that you were gonna be alone. Vulnerable. Sammy, it just… it never occurred to me what you wanted. I just couldn’t accept the fact that you and me, we’re just different … What?

SAM: We’re not different. Not anymore. With what happened to Mom and Jess… Well we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone.

JOHN: I guess you’re right, son.

Now I made sure to provide Sam’s response to John in the above to show that while Sam and John “made up,” they were NOT on the same page (as we see in 1.22 when John is mad at Sam for not shooting him to kill Azazel): in 1.21 Sam thinks he and John are both in it for avenging Mary and Jess. John doesn’t really deny it, but I think that’s because it was convenient to let Sam operate on that assumption. 1.22 is a very Sam-centered episode: this is pretty much the culmination of Sam’s main arc: where he decides to choose family over revenge. Which is why Sam is naturally furious when John seems unmotivated to save Dean in 2.01. But remember: Sam has a distorted view of John, especially when it comes to accepting John’s desire to protect his sons. The writers have spent the entire first season giving you that important puzzle piece.

See, when John decides to trade with Azazel, I think a lot of fans see this as John learning to choose family over revenge – like Sam’s arc. Except there’s no evidence to support this. And we already were SHOWN that he CURRENTLY will put the boys first in 1.16, when he willingly walks into Meg’s trap to save them. Even Meg, who’s only heard Sam’s side of things, has deduced the truth: 

MEG: He is pretty good. I’ll give you that. But you see, he has one weakness.

DEAN: What’s that?

MEG: You. He lets his guard down around his boys, lets his emotions cloud his judgment. I happen to know he is in town. And he’ll come and try to save you.

2.01 isn’t about John “changing” – because there’s nothing to change. This is about revealing the full truth about John: that it had ALWAYS been about the boys. John isn’t apathetic to saving Dean: he’s apathetic to Sam’s suggestions because he has already decided to make the deal. What does John tell Sam in the first ten minutes of the episode right after Sam updates him on Dean’s (poor) condition? To get the colt (which he tellingly refers to as possibly their “only card”) and bring to him ASAP and to pick up a bunch of supplies which he claims are for “protection” but which he uses for summoning. Even Azazel gets this shit:

Why, John, you’re a sentimentalist. If only your boys knew how much their daddy loved them.

The drama in this episode is about the tragedy that it was always about the boys but they never understood it, NOT about John going through some sort of cathartic “choice.

And this is where perhaps the writers dropped the narrative ball. Because while they spelled this stuff out pretty strongly, they never gave us THAT scene. You know, the scene where Sam and Dean go, “Ohhhh, now I get it now: it was all about protecting us from the start!” And I think that was for the very simple fact that they chose to not have Dean reveal what John had told him (at least not right away), and when he did, the focus became more about Sam and Dean’s relationship.

TL;DR: I don’t ever want to see anyone in this fandom claim this shit was about revenge ever again when you’ve got the entire first season + 2.01 telling you it wasn’t about revenge.