i don't even touch myself

Thoughts for the day

Me: Wow, I can’t believe Skam is ending in a couple of days. That must mean we’re going to tie up all the loose ends of the many storylines Julie created this season.

Skam: *introduces new relationship drama with Eva, Jonas, Emma, and PChris*

Me:

Originally posted by lexarakoon

sorryfreudianslip-deactivated20  asked:

i would LOVE to hear your thoughts on dear evan hansen if ur up for it i have v strong feelings about it and most of it is disappointment

let’s get the two big bullet points out of the way first:

  • ben platt absolutely deserved the “best actor” tony he received; his work as evan is the one of the most raw, all-in performances I’ve ever seen in a musical. four for you, ben platt. the cast is great across the board, actually, and the accolades they raked in aren’t misplaced. 
  • dear evan hansen should have at least lost the “best new musical” and “best music” tonys to natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812. even if I thought DEH was a complete success (I don’t), its themes of adolescent alienation, mental illness, suicide, and family struggle have been covered equally well by other musicals, including bare and next to normal. the score also isn’t anything new. the songs are fine, with some edging into very good, but again, I give you next to normal. it’s not that DEH is bad, it’s that it’s not breaking any new ground, and that’s what these particular awards exist to honor. 

anyway, now that that’s taken care of. 

My issue with dear evan hansen can be summed up in one sentence: it pulled its punches. this is a story about a kid who’s so socially anxious and desperate for recognition from his peers that he inserts himself into the life of a family who just lost their son to suicide. the first act understands how inherently fucked up that is for everyone, it follows Evan as does his best to soften the blow of loss for the Murphys, and then watches as that lie helps him fall ass-backwards into everything he ever wanted. it understands that despite Evan’s feelings of isolation and his attempts at kindness, he still has a bit of a nasty streak. he doesn’t pull the plug on the ‘me and Connor were so close’ charade because everything it got him feels so good; the girl of his dreams, parents who are always there, the world seeing him as valuable and important. Connor Murphy’s suicide gives Evan the chance to reinvent himself, and reinvent he does. his motivations are twisted up and sad and ugly, and even the “best” thing he pulls off - the creation of the Connor Project - only enters his head because he’s afraid of losing the pull that his connection to Connor gives him. Evan sees himself in Connor, and siphons off people’s anguish to soothe the pain of no one having noticed his own suicide attempt. once you’ve walked your protagonist to that point, you’ve created an emotional and thematic narrative that’s far too messy to be tied off into an uplifting bow. unfortunately, that’s exactly what the show tries to do

the second act teeters on the same tightrope the first walked easily, effective at times (showcasing just how good at bullying Evan’s become when he rejects his own mother + his only friend in favor of the life the Murphys have offered him), less so at others (there’s a late-stage emphasis on pile-on culture that doesn’t go anywhere thematically). It’s not until the end that the show collapses into empty platitudes and pop psychology, knocking the teeth out of what until then has been a vicious tangle of hurt and resentment and grief. when Evan comes clean, we’re supposed to believe that all he ever wanted was to be loved, because his Dad Left, and his Mom Was Absent, and No One Noticed Him. this, despite the fact that we’ve seen Evan be desperate and oily throughout, ingratiating himself with the right words that lean on the right places, going so far as to lie to a girl about what her abusive brother thought of her so he could make a clean breast of how much he liked her. 

this doesn’t make Evan a bad character; on the contrary, that little knot of meanness and desperation is what makes him such a good one. but the show refuses to commit to what it’s created. when he finally tells the Murphys the truth, their reaction of horror and betrayal is exactly what you’d expect–and then the next (and final) two scenes are: 

  1. Evan’s mom cradling her son and telling him that she Should Have Been There More. 
  2. Zoey Murphy fucking agreeing to see Evan again in his orchard of lies

Because it’s fine, you know? It’s been a year since Evan nested into her family’s loss like a raccoon in an attic, and he did get people to kickstart an apple grove for her brother’s memory, so it’s basically like it never happened. People came together over Connor’s death despite Evan’s motives, and it helped the Murphys let go and move on and heal and oh my godddddddd am I going insane? am I the only person who thinks this is the tiredest, most knee-jerk ~closure~ bullshit they’ve ever heard? a breathtaking emotional wound can’t be handwaved away, and certainly not offstage in a cheap time lapse. ugh. if they wanted this ending, Evan should have confessed near the top of the act, and the story should have spent the next 45 minutes earning its neat, uncomplicated little cherry on top. 

I guess at the end of the day I’m annoyed at this show. it starts as something interesting and difficult and very very human. it ends as something that’s had all the poison milked. 

I think I have successfully staved off my cold by judiciously spending the entire day on the sofa watching David Attenborough documentaries and old episodes of ‘Escape to the Country’ and drinking about ten pints of pineapple juice

and tea

lots and lots of mugs of tea

lately I seem to always catch colds that show up on a Sunday? Which is really handy because I usually have the whole day off just to relax and nip it in the bud

The thing that is fucking me up the most is the simple fact that Harry Styles is a fucking legend. The lads a fucking legend. Among the fucking mess and anarchy that is 21st century pop-culture, the boy has managed to make himself iconic before he’s even dropped a single. He’s managed to make himself relevant and raw and real. Fucking incredible. Never seen anything like it in my time, will probably never see it again. I’m so ready for everything he’s got to offer. Legend.

The only difference between Yuuri and I is that I have the flexibility of someone 5 hours into rigor mortis

Billie’s performance is so breathtakingly harrowing that she quite obviously was proper drained after, and you could see as soon as her last line left her lips and she came forward to bow that she’d achieved something momentous in that theatre.

She looked relieved and exhausted and smiled sheepisly to the audience, AND because i was middle front row she bowed right in front of me and met my gaze. No joke. I died

Anyway, we were all captivated. She held that entire audience’s attention throughout, even when she wasn’t saying a word. She is such a fearless actor, totally unafraid to find the real ugliness of human nature and to wring out every ounce of feeling in all her expressions. I could gush all night about much watching that play was like watching an example of masterful acting. Literally any aspiring actors reading this who can get to see it… go the fuck to see it! She’s on peak form

The subject matter really did not appeal to me before seeing it, and having now seen it i ofc have criticisms of how certain things were handled. But i cannot fault any of the performances. The entire cast was fantastic

The set design was innovative and served the play well. I won’t spoil all that though cos it’s worth seeing with fresh eyes

Thanks to the two sisters who let me talk their ears off on the way back to the station afterwards lol. Hope you get back to our mutual home county ok! 😃

Also. Billie brought her dog to work it was ADORABLE 🐕💕

Is There An App For That? ;D

anonymous said:

Vic fuentes, you are having Skype sex , and the guys catch you and laugh and tease you. Love your blog 

Here you go lovely, hope you enjoy!! Aww and thanks :3

“Okay press play… Now!” I said squeaking a little from the excitement. Vic’s been on tour for a few months now and obviously we talk everyday but tonight he planned something special. It was his night off from playing a show and he chose not to go out with the guys to party, but have a movie night in with me.

I snuggled into the sheets more when the opening credit ended and looked across at my laptop that was sat on two pillows facing me with Vic’s face on. He had his eyes glued to the tv and and his arm resting on the back of the couch. I sat and stared, imagining my head resting on his shoulder with his fingers stroking circles onto my hand.

“You’re missing the movie, babe…”

His voice stopped me daydreaming and i started to chuckle.

“Haha sorry, I … It’s just not the same without you here” I said, looking down trying to hold back tears. “God I’m such a sap, It doesn’t matter. This is a great idea, thanks Vic.”

I carried on watching the film until I suddenly felt really uncomfortable, almost awkward in fact. Things started getting steamy and I felt my core pulse slightly. ‘Shit,’ I thought 'couldn’t this have happened before? I can’t hang up on him now…’ I decided to try suppress it and put it out of mind.

“Oh baby…” The girl on the film said as she stroked a finger slowly down the guy’s really impressive abs, “do me from behind, you know it’s my favourite.”

“Hey Y/N, isn’t that your favourite position too?” Vic said as confident as ever.

“Errmm…" 

'Fuck! Of course it is, he feels so good from behind, how could it not be. Now all I can do is picture it and the movie isn’t helping and I’m getting wetter and I was doing so well. It’s been so long since I touched myself and I don’t even want to know how long since I’ve had sex with Vic… I… I can’t deal with this…’

While I was having my internal meltdown, I managed to release a small moan from my lips. Who knew just the thought of him sent me this crazy. I started rubbing my clit slowly, trying not to let Vic realise.

"I’ll take that as a yes then.” He said, something had changed in his voice… I realised what it was soon after. “You remember what I feel like?”

The huskiness in Vic’s voice was enough to make me pleasure myself more, never mind what he was saying. I felt a wave wash through me as I managed to bite my lip and nod in reply. Apparently that was the right answer as I heard him unzip his jeans and pull them off. My eyes widened at the though of what we were doing but I soon carried on with it, I was far too horny to stop now.

“You don’t mind do you?” He said, realising what he was about to do.

“No it’s fine,” I sighed “you have some catching up to do though.”

With that Vic’s mouth dropped and words escaped his lips. His eyes were locked on the screen but not for long, they soon rolled back as his hand moved swiftly over his hard length. Throwing off my sleeping shirt and bra sent him into an even bigger state as he started groaning at the view and moaning my name. 

“I wanna see you.” I managed to choke out between breaths. Vic took a while to process the command in his hazy state but lowered the camera. For a moment, I hated the sight and it felt like torture but I couldn’t look away. He had his hand clasped around his hard length, stroking it slowly and rising his hips along with it. I pushed by fingers inside myself in rhythm with him and tried to stop myself from speeding ahead. “Fuck.. Vic, faster.” I moaned and started riding waves throughout my whole body.

“Woah Vic, what porn is that!?”

“Wait… Is that…?”

“Hi Y/N! Looking good!!”

I froze. Then quickly dove under neither my covers. Why are the guys back so early!!!??

“So this is what you kids use all the innovative new technology for… Is there an app for online Y/N sex now? Hey I’ll download it!”

Fucking Jaime and his fucking jokes.

I peeked through the covers and saw Vic with head in his hands. Jaime and the guys must have stumbled off drunk seen as though they were still laughing about it in the distance.

“I umm… guess that’s our movie nights over.” I said, chuckling awkwardly. I’m sure the guys’ll leave Vic alone about it in a few days. Well I hope so.

We said our goodnights and logged off, I’m sure we’ll all laugh about it in the future but for now, I’m just glad I’m not on that tour bus and safe from the teasing.

Steve’s left arm is his shield arm; the one he uses to serve, to protect to defend.

Bucky’s left arm is the Winter Soldier’s metal arm; the one forced to serve, to injure, to kill. 

Steve’s left arm is everything he aims to be. Bucky’s left arm is everything he wishes he wasn’t. 

The Hangover {Sentence Starters}
  • "Hey, what's that on your arm?"
  • "Where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out!"
  • "It's one night. We can share beds. It's no big deal."
  • "Don't touch it. Don't even look at it."
  • "I consider myself a bit of a loner."
  • "You were in the hospital last night!"
  • "I can't afford to lose somebody close to me again!"
  • "You sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?"
  • "Did you have to park so close?"
  • "Yeah... that's not gonna happen."
  • "I don't care if we kill someone."
  • "Would you, please, put some pants on?"
  • "Well, then we're shit out of luck."
  • "I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license."
  • "I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school."
  • "So long, gay boys!"
  • "I just wish your friends were as mature as you."
  • "Your language is offensive."
  • "What about the tiger? What if he got out?"
  • "I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight."
  • "You're not really wearing that are you?"
  • "You are, literally, too stupid to insult."
  • "By the way, we're all gonna die."
  • "It says here we should work in teams."
  • "Don't listen to this maniac! Let's think this thing through!"
  • "It's not illegal. It's frowned upon."
  • "We don't want to call attention to ourselves!"
  • "Why would you go to Las Vegas?"