i don't even like this that much it didn't came out the way i imagined weeps

Malum-5sos I just want it to stop (one shot)

no Y/N

This includes self harm, suicide attempts do not read if easily triggered.

Any twitter names other then the boys I do not own and do not no if that are real!
Just malum right now, if you like it request lashton!

’@lydiahemmo: @calum5sos why don’t you just kill yourself already?’

’@irwinsbaby: @calum5sos no one would even notice you where gone, so us all a favour’

’@cliffordskitten: @calum5sos your such a waist of air I could be breathing.’

The hate didn’t really get to Calum this bad but he had been having a pretty shitty week, people must have decided it was send ridiculous amounts of hate to Calum this week because it was constant.

Every morning he was wake up to multiple people telling him different way to commit suicide and it hurt.

What did he ever do to them? He was just living his life with his best-friends.

That’s when Calum decided to do it, he placed the metal blade to his left wrist adding no pressure at first contemplating what he was doing.

‘Whats happened to you Hood?’ He mumbled to himself as his chocked on sob.

That’s when he did it, he bit his lip so hard it broke skin and started to bleed just to suppress the pain from his wrist as he pulls the blade along stopping once it’s about An inch and a half long and ¾ of the blade deep, it wasn’t a big blade it was just one from one of those normal shavers but he sat whilst silent tears flowed an his watched his own blood slowly trickle down his forearm.

Before he knew it there were another 3 cuts just as long and just as deep but it didn’t hurt like the first one.

It made his heart race when watched all this crimson liquid drip of his elbow onto the white tiled floor staining them with memories he wouldn’t want to remember.

“Calum where are you?” Luke came banging on his bed room door and he started to panic placing the blade on the toilet lid in his bedroom bathroom running cold water on his arm but it was to later the door had swung open to reveal a happy Luke.

“Hey Cal, iv been looking everywhere for yo-” Luke’s eyebrows furrow as he looks to the floor seeing the blood drops then to the blade on the toilet lid, finally landing on Calum’s wrist.

His vision is blurred at hot tears spring to his eyes and fall freely down his face.

“No, no, no,no Calum what have you done, please I can’t do this omg no why?” Luke rushes to get a first aid kit from the Cabinet pulling out a white bandage roll pressing a towel down on his wrist adding to much pressure making Calum weep.

'Luke I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was in’ Calum spoke up now in full tears.

'Why Calum why did you do it?’

'I was getting so numb I just needed to feel something, I needed to feel normal lukey’ his eyes drifted to his wrist as a still sobbing Luke wrapped his wrist in the bandage his pulled out previously.

'But Cal, I need you, you can’t do this to me!'luke pulled the older boy in for a hug that meant so much to both of them.

'I know , I’m sorry’ Calum rubbed Luke’s back as he carried to clutch onto his best friend like he’d never see him again.


'God Michael your so fat, get of me’ Calum laughed trying to trow Michael of his back, comments like this have been said to Michael a lot recently.
He knew he ate a lot but constantly being on stage some how kept him fit and healthy, he never thought his was fat, but a couple of weeks passed and he wasn’t so sure.

So he stopped, he just stopped eating, hardly drank either he was lucky if he could keep down 2 glasses of water a day but it kept him going.

His clothes were dropping of him but he couldn’t go shopping for more, everytime he looked in the mirror he saw this huge boy, he only got bigger with ever look his took.

So he used small boy belts to keep his jeans up and be small boys I mean 9 year old boy belts and depending where they were from they were to big, non of the boys even noticed because he still wore the same clothes he always wore and still took huge amounts of food in his room every couple of hours, but he never age it his put in a draw under his bed and if it was a cooked meal, he would wait till ever one went bed and put it in the fridge or bin so no one would know.

Clearly his non eating wasn’t helping because of Calum’s words it hurt when they said things like that now.

'I know sorry’ Michael replied after some time jumping to his feet and sitting on the other couch.

Calum gave him a confused look but just got a small smile from Michael.

'You know I was joking right?’ He said going over to Michael giving him a hug. That’s when he noticed it.
He felt Michael’s spine and each individual rib stick out.

He pulled back and noticed how pale Michael had gotten, Michael was natural pale but this was more gray then his natural white colour.
He noticed his cheek bones were sticking out and his actual cheeks where hollow, his collarbones stuck out prominently and you could see his the front of his rib cage because his jumper was way to big it sagged so he could look down it.

'Oh my god’ Calum got up ad started pacing the floor it now had drawn the attention of Luke and Ashton from the kitchen as the walked in.

'Calum what’s wrong?’ Ashton asks worry evident on his face.

'Look at Michael, tell me what’s different’ he said his voice shaking and slightly raised.

So Ashton and Luke turn to a crying Michael, he didn’t speak because he knew Calum had figured it out, he had noticed how much weight he had gained.

'Tell me what THE FUCK IS DIFFERENT ABOUT HIM!’ The boys jump at the screaming of a distraught Calum.

'I don’t understand’ they said

'GO AND WRAP YOUR ARMS AOUND HIM,THEN TELL ME’ they looked hesitant but did it anyway pulling the fragile friend into there embrace one after another and like it did with Calum it clicked.

'Oh my god’ Luke repeated the words that spilled from Calum’s lips moments prior.

'Mikey why are you so skinny?'luke asked quietly his voice hardly above a whisper.

'Im not skinny Luke don’t lie! I’m fat! You guys tell me all the time how fat I am don’t tell me differently now!’ He went to leave but before he could reach his door he collapsed onto the ground as Ashton rang an ambulance they crowded round his, not understanding how it got to this as tears hit the ground from everyone one of them. Guilt consumed them, and they didn’t know if they would have the chance to fix it, fix him.