i don't even like that shirt

Los Angeles.

1. I can’t hear Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody without thinking of Coachella, sunset from the VIP section (I was dating the editor-in-chief of a music publication at the time), and a bevy of Victoria’s Secret models in front of me, chain smoking and drinking white wine in plastic cups, perfect hair and cut off shorts. I wore white denim and a white t-shirt, tortoise shell Wayfarers, tan sandals, a baseball cap, hair tucked under.

2. I can’t hear Kings of Leon’s Sex on Fire without thinking of the jukebox at The Short Stop on a Sunday afternoon, day drunk and lightly dancing in the back patio, cigarette in hand, the bartender calling me from inside, asking me if I want in on a round of shots.

Sometimes I like to sit and think about where I would be in life if Roy and Riza kissed in canon…

This is the most extra thing I’ve ever seen. Humanity is so doomed, there is no hope left. There are actual people being abused and people dying from abuse, but no, let’s not make a “No excuse for abuse!” shirt that donates proceeds to anti-abuse charities or women’s shelters or anything like that, let’s make an ant* reylo shirt cuz THAT’LL SHOW EM!!!


It’s not hard to guess who inspired this, hm?


this afternoon i took my shithead ex’s shit–

his books

his clothes

his besotted letters

the long-dead flowers he sent me from the fountain at caserta—

i took it all and shipped it back to him

fuck it felt good

Keep reading

I don’t normally listen to secular music but Lorde has released two new songs recently and I was absolutely obsessed with her my first year of university, so I checked them out. And not surprisingly, I’m absolutely obsessed again. Especially her song Liability which like…I completely relate to and don’t even have to explain here because if you’d listen to the lyrics you’d know why since it’s so self-evident.

And it makes me think of dating and relationships. Not only because of the lyrics but like I said, I was absolutely obsessed with Lorde in my first year of university. And during that year, there was a guy I had a crush on for pretty much the entire year. It never went anywhere and I remember after I came home from an event he’d invited me to, disappointed nothing came of it, I was crying in my dorm with all my girl friends. It wasn’t so much even about the guy himself but the fact that I was 18 and never had a real boyfriend or anything like that. And I kept saying how all throughout high school people told me I was too intimidating and too strong of a personality for boys my age, and how I felt being in university and liking an older guy would make that go away but it didn’t. One of my friends had an idea to go to the guy who lived next door in res to us and ask what he thinks, because I was pretty good friends with him. So she asked if he thought I was too intimidating or such a strong personality that it was off-putting to guys and he said yes, sometimes. Clearly that wasn’t the answer she was expecting but it’s what she got. And it just made me even more upset because I thought, you know, this is just who I am. But apparently it’s intrinsically not attractive to men.

Then fast forward to the summer when I’m involved in the frum community. And I’m learning about tefillah with my rabbi and we get on the topic of tznius and he tells me it’s more than just clothes but a middah too. Which I agree with, but then he tells me he notices I have a habit of putting myself in conversations I don’t belong in or dominating the space I’m in and it’s not so tznius. And I wonder if that means I’m not aidel enough for frumkeit so I keep his words around my neck like a locket; a reminder to be quiet and gentle. I even buy a journal that has the quote “leave something to the imagination” written on it in calligraphy because I need it as a reminder that it’s not just my body that needs to kept under wraps but apparently my thoughts too. So I begin writing all my thoughts inside this journal instead of speaking them until suddenly I have journals lining my bedroom walls and my tongue burning with bite marks from holding it back.

And I think sometimes that’s why I’ve taken such a shtark approach to the clothing aspect of tznius. I reached a point where I only wore 60 den stockings and safety pinned the necks of all my shirts inches above my collarbone and I cut my hair and I tried to do everything I could to make up for the fact that I wasn’t tznius as a person, that my personality was too brash. I would cross the street if men were on the same side as me and I wouldn’t sit next to them in cars. Anything I could do to be tznius.

Because for a long time I felt I wasn’t. No guy wanted anything to do with me because I was too much. Too loud, too opinionated, too much energy, just too much. I tried to make myself smaller in more ways than one. I was exhausting; fun for a time but not forever. Too much.

I don’t feel that way anymore. I’m happy with who I am even if others think it’s a bit over the top. I think there is a lot of truth in what my rabbi was trying to teach me about tznius. I think I was at a weird stage in my life where I was desperately trying to fit in with the frum community that I read too much into what he was saying to me. But I took it too far, which I guess is ironic because that’s what people say about me when they claim I’m “too much”, which to me, translated as not aidel enough.

But I’m happy with my strong personality. I used to worry even as a fifteen year old I’d never have a boyfriend because I was too much. It seemed to be proven to me that’d be the case when I was eighteen. I worried about that for a long time. Now I’m twenty-one and I don’t think it’s such an issue anymore. Maybe it’s because I realize I also need a strong personality. I used to always say I need to date someone who is timid and reserved and quiet to balance me out, tone me down. But I don’t need that. I don’t want that. Even though that’s what I always said, even as a fifteen year old, and even when I started shidduchim. But it’s not what I want or need. I need someone just as loud and domineering and “too much” and whatever other words people label me as.

Infatuation

Solangelo one-shot, 2,778 words, general audiences. It goes through three casual moments in Will and Nico’s relationship. Set in canon!verse, not-spoilerish. Low-key inspired by a conversation I had with the lovely @ynysafallon, in which we shared some Solangelo headcanons. Hope you enjoy!


I.

The day was exceptionally hot. Perfect for staying inside the Arts & Crafts building or having a picnic under the shadow of some tree. Maybe taking a nap in a hammock. Nico wouldn’t have minded any of those options.

Instead, Chiron thought it was a great idea if they all “enjoyed the beautiful day outside”.

(And of course Will agreed with him.)

“C’mon, it can’t be that bad, Death Boy.” Will said, distracted, while dragging Nico towards the volleyball court. By now, Nico was used to touch, and even welcomed it. It didn’t mean it had stopped feeling electric when Will was the one to do so. Nico was equal parts glad and annoyed by it. “It’s better than wrestling with the Ares cabin.” He motioned to his right with his head, where Clarisse was shoving someone’s head into the dirt.

“I could kick her ass.” Nico informed him.

“Volleyball is better. Besides, Jason is the one who invited us to play. And Piper.” He said as they entered the court. That caught Nico’s attention. His friends were visiting for the weekend. Nico had no particular interest for sports, but it was only fair that he spent more time with them, even if this was what they wanted to do.

He sighed. “Fine. But don’t we need more people? Say, six on each team?” He reminded Will, who shrugged.

“Not beach volleyball, no.”

“Nico! You actually came!” Jason yelled from the other side of the court, delighted. He started to run to the newcomers while Piper stayed behind, observing them as if confident they would go down.

“Yep.”

“Listen, I already talked to Piper and everything, and you can totally be on my team.” Jason offered, his hands in fists. He looked as if he’d start bouncing with excitement at any moment.

“Oh, um… Nice, but listen…” Nico started, then paused, thinking about how best to reject the offer. “Um, do you mind if I stay with Will, this once? I mean, you have Piper, right?” It sounded ruder than in his head, but now it was late to take it back. Jason didn’t seem offended, though. Only surprised, his eyes wide and taken aback posture. He glanced between Will — who was absentmindedly stretching beside the son of Hades — and Nico as if just realizing something.

Nico scrunched his eyebrows, thinking back to what he said and not finding anything shocking at all. What could he—

Oh.

Oh, wait.

You have Piper…

As I have Will.

Not like that, Jason.” He hissed, clenching his hands in tight fists.

“Right.”

“I mean it.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought, and… you’re wrong. We’re just friends.” He muttered the last part.

“Okay. Okay, right.” Jason said, lifting his open palms in a defensive posture while walking backwards. However, his expression was amused. His eyes gleamed in a way that said he was probably thinking about his best man speech for Nico and Will’s wedding. He winked and gave Nico thumbs-up.

The son of Hades considered himself to be relatively polite, but right then he felt tempted to flip him off.

For his contentment, Jason tripped on his own feet and fell on his butt on the sand. Will breathed out a laughter beside him.

“Serves him right.” Nico mumbled, still too annoyed to even smirk. It wasn’t like that.

(Which didn’t mean Nico didn’t daydreamed about how it would be.)

(But that was completely normal.)

(…Gods, he needed a break.)

“Okay. What was that about?” Will asked after a moment of silence between them. Nico gathered up courage and looked up at the other boy, but he didn’t need to worry; Will wasn’t looking at him. He was instead glancing at Piper and Jason, who was saying something to his girlfriend. He was frowning, confused, and there was something unreadable in his eyes that Nico wasn’t sure he wanted to decipher. It seemed… sad. It looked wrong in the healer’s face.

“Nothing.” He said too quickly, which brought Will’s attention back to him. Will’s look was searching, and Nico instinctively tried to make his expression neutral. It was a stupid tactic, of course. His face looked annoyed per usual, and trying to make it blank tended to make Will see right through him.

It wasn’t different this time, although Nico wasn’t sure what the healer had found in his face to make him smile that brightly. Gone was the undecipherable look in his eyes, and Nico couldn’t help but feel quite relieved. He felt his heart clench in his chest at the sight of that grin; he should be over it by now, but now and then Will managed to take his breath away again.

“You like me, don’t you?” Will said slowly, testing the words, unsure about them. His smile didn’t falter, though. Instead, his gaze became even more curious as he looked into Nico’s eyes. The son of Hades couldn’t think very straight.

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here, you idiot.” He added for good measure, but his voice sounded shaky and nervous nonetheless, and Will threw his head back and laughed, delighted.

“You do.” He sounded almost awed now, and Nico opened his mouth to deny it, but the words never left. He knew the precise moment when he lost control of his expression and let the panic show, because Will’s happiness faltered and his eyes grew serious. “It’s a good thing you like me, because I do like you. A lot. Like, like like you.”

“Are you ten?”

“Nico.”

Will waited, observing as Nico looked away from his gaze and focused on taking deep breaths, as Will had taught him, so as to avoid hyperventilating.

Finally, Nico looked up, his eyes still showing some fear.

“It doesn’t freak you out? Not a tiny bit? I mean… I’m a guy.” His voice was low in the last part.

Will pondered, serious, before answering.

“Hi, A Guy. I’m bisexual.”

“Bi—Oh.”

“Yeah. It doesn’t freak me out.” He suddenly grinned. “Wait, does that mean you really like me, then?”

Nico rolled his eyes and looked away.

“I did, but now I’m reconsidering it.” He mumbled, which made Will laugh.

“Good.”

II.

Were 3-weeks anniversaries supposed to be special? Nico didn’t have a clue, and he didn’t really care. All he knew was that Will let him sleep until 10:30AM (Nico fell in love with him all over again), woke him up with kisses, then dragged him to their making-out spot in the woods, carrying a basket with him. He then proceed to lay out a picnic blanket on the grass and serve the food — sandwiches, strawberry scones, grapes, cocoa balls, and juice. Nico didn’t know where Will had gotten all of that, but he felt so relaxed, so content as Will beamed and rambled on the important of 3-weeks anniversaries, that he didn’t even ask.

After eating, they made out — of course.

It was very good. Nico was very happy. But there was a thought bugging — that stupid voice that dragged him down after the war with Gaia, and still did sometimes. What if Will didn’t think Nico was as invested in this relationship as him? What if he wanted Nico to change, to show more affection in public and call him those annoying couple names? It wasn’t something Nico was comfortable with, and they hadn’t talked about it yet, but Will seemed to know his limits, until now… But still, for how long would he accept them?

“Will,” He broke the kiss, reluctant and breathless, but the voice was irritating him too much. Will glanced down at him with confusion, still a little dazed. “You know I like you, right?”

He hadn’t meant to say that, but Will narrowed his eyes, as if processing those words was a complex task.

“Well, I have to say… I’m glad you’re making out with someone you like instead of, I don’t know, a mortal enemy or some—” He laughed when Nico slapped his arm.

“Stop being an idiot.” He said before he could think about the words, then his smile — he didn’t know he had been smiling; it was amazing that it didn’t hurt anymore — faltered. This was the exact type of behavior that he should avoid. “I mean, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay? About the insults and my lack of enthusiasm for… life, in general?” He breathed out, arms still embracing Will’s neck while his boyfriend straddled him on the ground. “I don’t think you’re an idiot. I just… I like our relationship the way it is, all of it, but I’ll understand if, if you don’t—”

“Honey, are you trying to make me leave on our anniversary? Seriously? You have the worst timing ever.”

Nico gave him a look. Will sighed.

“Nico, I know you don’t think I’m an idiot. I know this is your way of being, and guess what? That’s the Nico I fell in love with. My annoying brat friend who can’t pretend to be nice to save his life.”

“Hey! I’ll get you for that.” Nico said, his voice more affectionate than he’d planned. Will ignored that remark, choosing to lean in closer, until he was an inch away from Nico’s earlobe.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, darling.” His voice was low, and it sent a shiver down Nico’s spine.

“Good.”

III.

Nico didn’t think there was any ideal condition to meet Hades in a pleasant way. This, though, didn’t even reach his low expectations.

They’d needed an army from the Underworld to defeat the giants. And the aid of the five children of the Big Three, along with the other four Heroes of Olympus. And the Greek and Roman armies.

Nico was tired. He was filthy, and thirsty, and felt like lying down and not moving for about three days straight. The children of Apollo were already fussing over those whose had been injured. Will, on the other hand, was using his healing powers on Percy’s poisonous lacerations.

Seeing Will using his powers was both fascinating and horrifying. Fascinating because beautiful golden light was expelled from his fingers in threads, reaching the wound and curing it; and horrifying because Will got visibly weaker after using it — paler, out of breath, trembling. He was much better at it than years ago, in the Battle of Manhattan, but he could still cure about seven people this way without exhausting himself, and Percy was the ninth.

“Stop it, you idiot.” Nico muttered, stepping closer to him. Even in his tired state, his mind computed that Will hadn’t been wounded, and he was relieved.

“This is the last one. Kayla can take care of the rest. I just—” He narrowed his eyes, and the brightness from the healing light vanished as Will stopped making it. He fell on his knees on the floor, panting. Nico knelt beside him in an instant, dropping his sword and embracing his boyfriend instead. He saw Percy give him a thumbs-up, indicating he was already fine, thank you very much.

“It’s okay. You healed them. No one’s dead.” Saying those words felt like a miracle, like a blessing. He would make sure to comfort Will and then help the other healers. He’d like everyone to return to camp safe and sound, for once. He kissed Will’s cheek, murmuring comforting things as his boyfriend hugged him back.

And that’s how Hades found them.

Will was the one who saw him first, and he froze. Nico looked behind his back, and said “oh”. It was a way of describing the situation.

None of them said anything for a while.

Then Nico stood up, helping Will up as well. He gave one look to his boyfriend, who nodded and managed to lift up one side of his lips for a fraction of second, silently giving him permission.

“Thanks for the army, dad.” Nico started.

“No problem. These are just some skeletons I had lying around the place, so.” He shrugged, shifting his glance between Nico, Will, and the ground.

“So… this is my boyfriend, Will. Solace. He is great, really.” He paused, then added, “He’s my best friend.”

The last part sounded somewhat more honest than the rest, even though it was all true. He hoped his attempt of securing a spot in Elysium for Will wasn’t too obvious.

Hades considered this information with a thoughtful expression. He frowned his lips, but seemed only pensive instead of angry or distressed; he scratched his chin.

“Child of Apollo, huh?” He nodded once. “I guess I understand the appeal quite well.” He murmured, glancing to his right. Nico followed his gaze and saw Persephone kneeling down, examining a warrior’s sprained ankle. “The summer… The warmth, can be very welcome to us.” He looked back at them while Nico scrunched his eyebrows.

“Dad, it’s not like that at all.” I mean, sure he liked to cuddle with the ball of warmth he called boyfriend, but that wasn’t relevant. He didn’t date people based on their body temperature. What the actual Zeus?

Hades gave him an amused look, one corner of his lips lifting up, and Nico had the funny impression he’d misunderstood his father’s words.

“I know.” He said, then all the amusement vanished from his face and became a glare the second he turned to his son’s boyfriend. “William Solace.”

Nico felt his boyfriend tense up beside him, but still Will stepped forward — slowly, still not recovered from all that healing —, and knelt down, bowing.

“It’s an honor and a pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” He said. It was clear to anyone hearing him how nervous he was, but he didn’t flinch or backed off. Nico felt a surge of pride and affection in his chest, and he felt like smiling a little.

Hades’ expression changed for a second, bewildered and unsure, and he considered Will with new eyes.

“Well. I hadn’t heard anything like that for a while.” He sounded satisfied, and motioned for Will to stand up, which he did, slowly. Nico walked forward and grabbed his hand, interlacing their fingers, silently supporting him. Will squeezed it once in acknowledgment.

Hades sighed quietly, nodding once again.

“Okay. I won’t interfere. I want to talk to you in private, though.” He pointed at Will.

“Sure.” Will’s voice was tremulous. He was undoubtedly visualizing his fate as an eternity in the Fields of Punishment.

“It doesn’t have to be now. I see you are all suffering the consequences of battle.” He motioned to the drained warriors and healers running with supplies and stretchers. Nico couldn’t feel anyone in immediate danger, though. “I would invite you to dinner,” His voice was uncertain, just like it got when he talked about mortals’ habits. “But then you’d have to stay in the Underworld forever, and I believe you’d like to live a few more years?”

“That would be great.” Will said, his voice low and in a higher pitch than normal. Hades nodded again.

“Meanwhile, keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing to make him happy.” He motioned his head to Nico’s direction. “I see his health is improved.” He commented, and Nico could sense the shift in Will’s posture; how he stood a bit taller, and his voice was no longer tremulous, now that the conversation topic was something health-related.

“He is much better, in all aspects. He’s still stubborn with some things,” Glare at Nico. “But he is headed in the right direction, sir. I assure you that.”

Hades raised his eyebrows, probably taken aback by Will’s sudden boost of confidence, then sent Nico a pointed look.

“Stubborn, huh? We’ll talk about that.”

“Look what you’ve done.” Nico hissed so that only Will heard.

“I have to go now.” Hades said as Persephone appeared beside him, looking tired.

“Ready to go?” She asked, offering her hand. He took it and squeezed it once.

“Sure.” He said gently. He glanced at the boys one last time. “I’ll see you soon. Nico. Will.”

And then he, Persephone, and the hundreds of skeletons in the field disappeared.

Will almost fell on his knees again, relieved.

“I’m alive.” He said as if it was the most unbelievable statement of history. Nico laughed quietly, hugging his boyfriend.

“Of course you’re alive, dummy. I like you, he wouldn’t kill anyone I like.” Then he thought better and frowned. “Probably. Maybe. Okay, you know what? Let’s celebrate your survival.”

Will laughed and hugged Nico back.

“I love you.”

Nico held on tighter.

“I love you too.”

Will smiled a little, still looking exhausted, but happy.

“Good.” He said, and kissed his boyfriend.


Just to make it clear… What Hades meant was people with sunny, warm personalities and auras. Not elevated body temperatures. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

anonymous asked:

I love silly details in stories like the Yale T-shirt Rachel "steals" from Quinn. How often does Quinn get to wear it and how long does it last before it's finally worn out and discarded? Is it the only item of clothing one takes from the other on occasion? Does Rachel get something else to take with her that belongs to Quinn when the t shirt finally gives out?

That t-shirt get’s pretty damn worn out. Neither one of them really want to part with it, even when it’s faded and threadbare. I feel like Rachel would tuck it away in the back of a drawer rather than ever throw it out. 

Quinn does occasionally get to wear it. Rachel lets her because the shirt always smells like Quinn again afterwards, and that makes it better. 

I think they probably borrow clothes out of one another’s closets a lot. Well, maybe Rachel more than Quinn. ;)  Although I think Rachel probably has a robe that Quinn steals all the time to make breakfast in. 

As for Rachel, in lieu of the Yale t-shirt, she probably likes to snag one of her wife’s many cardigans to snuggle up in when it’s chilly. 

Let’s face it – as fans of Korean music, there unfortunately aren’t many places we can get merch that doesn’t scream “LOOK AT ME, I LIKE KPOP.” Speaking for myself, I’d rather wear a shirt out knowing I won’t have to explain “what’s Bangtang?” to everyone I interact with that day. Not that I mind talking about my tastes, but if people who wear Maroon 5, Bruno Mars, or Adele shirts don’t have to do it, why do I have to? Hopefully, you feel the same way.

There aren’t many sites and resources selling merchandise with subtle references to the artists we love, so I created my own. At first, I only planned on buying these for myself, since I have no desire to make a profit off of these (I already have a job, I don’t need two). However, it only seems fair to share it with other ARMYs as well :)

I created a REDBUBBLE so you all, if you’d like, can have merch with subtle hints to Bangtan as well. The six above are a few of the designs already on the RedBubble account, so feel free to take a look!

Each design is available as shirts, jackets, phone cases, table/laptop cases and skins, pillows, mugs, notebooks/journals, bags, and prints/posters of different varieties. I’m willing to slightly alter designs (colors, placement) if need be, and don’t mind taking recommendations. However, I put a lot of thought into the meaning and look of each design (many of them were altered drastically, and some are graphics I never continued, so I have done a lot of reflecting on each one), so the way they are published is how I intended for them to look. I hope you’ll give my work a glance!

Thanks for reading!

RedBubble: HERE

uh, heh, I uh. I forgot to wear green today. Which wouldn’t really be much of a thing, I normally wear greenish/bluish stuff, but I was getting dressed and happened to find a red shirt, and then I had some red socks, and well. i’m super black-and-red-themed today, very goth, sort of cute ok whatever, but like. Very not green.

well, nobody really notices what i wear, and if anyone tries to pinch me I’ll punch them, this is well-established in my personal history. just. ha.