i don't even care that it is blurry


books I’ve read in 2017: a court of mist and fury by sarah j. maas

“I painted stars and the moon and clouds and just endless, dark sky. I never knew why. I rarely went outside at night—usually, I was so tired from hunting that I just wanted to sleep. But I wonder… I wonder if some part of me knew what was waiting for me. That I would never be a gentle grower of things, or someone who burned like fire—but that I would be quiet and enduring and as faceted as the night. That I would have beauty, for those who knew where to look, and if people didn’t bother to look, but to only fear it … Then I didn’t particularly care for them, anyway. I wonder if, even in my despair and hopelessness, I was never truly alone. I wonder if I was looking for this place—looking for you all.”

@britishasianandcanadian  [ continuing from here 

               i react like that to everything. and if people think that, they’re stupid. if you kidnapped me, you wouldn’t even bring me here.    Not caring less to what people might think, she continues observing products at  the store. Gwen was clearly trying; noteworthy, although not something to be said out loud. Those memories were blurry, never forgotten, so an effort is made to look less irritable, softening a hostile expression.  … it’s fine. let’s… visit other place then. you have one more shot, then i choose the place.    Beams at her, incorporating humor into the phrase, lighting the mood. 


Awhile back you brought up the idea that Art School Bog would probably have to go to the dentist because of grinding his teeth. Today I spent a great deal of time thinking of doped up Bog being driven home by Marianne.

Just imagine, it’s not the first time he’s had work on his teeth done so the oral surgeon knows him. When Marianne shows up she finds the doctor and nurses huddled outside the recovery room because Bog is singing while he comes out of sedation. And the staff knows he does this, but have never told him because they like listening to him.

Imagine Marianne getting Bog something to eat on the way home and he makes the mistake of trying to use a straw. My brother had his wisdom teeth out and found trying to drink a milkshake through a straw is extremely painful. So he gets a spoon but he can’t feel his face so he’s got milkshake all over himself and is just “what?” when Marianne is obviously trying not to laugh.

Imagine Bog staring at Marianne, blurry and uncertain of where he is, and saying random things like, “wow, your hair is pretty.” And Marianne doesn’t know whether to blush or laugh and is having trouble driving straight.

She gets him home, he falls asleep and when he wakes up he remembers nothing. Marianne refuses to tell him what he did, only saying she’ll bring it up if she ever needs blackmail material.

I think it is right I am paid the same as my male counterparts. I think it is right that I should make decisions about my own body. I think it is right that women be involved on my behalf in the policies and decisions that affect my life. I think it is right that socially, I am afforded the same respect as men.