i don't care if no one else finds this funny i'm shitting

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
A little love for the signs (From a Libra sun, Leo moon)
  • Dear Aries: It doesn't matter how dark times are, you are there for me. And I know you will always support me. You can make me happy like no one else can. You can say something that isn't even funny and I have to laugh with you. I could talk all night with you. About anything. You are full of light, full of life. You deserve everything bright.
  • Dear Taurus: Even though I've never really been so close to you to say that, I want you to know that you're worth it. You are beautiful, your smile helps people not to give up. So don't give up on yourself. You're strong and I know you smile through the pain, but it's okay. We all go through that and I wanted to tell you that you're not alone.
  • Dear Gemini: You are funny, you are witty, you always know how to make me laugh. I am inspired by you. You are so sociable, yet you know how to be alone and overthink things. You can do decisions by yourself, you don't hesistate to make the right choice. I admire you for that. Also, your art is beautiful. You are art.
  • Dear Cancer: I know we haven't been best friends. I know we had fights and that you broke my trust too often. But I realized, you are only a human being, just as me. Everyone keeps making mistakes, but no one wants to admit that. I hope for you that you'll be happy in the future. I want you to concentrate more on yourself, not on others because you are you, and no one can be that for you.
  • Dear Leo: Whenever I talk to you, it feels like we understand each other without saying a word. You are passionate and you are optimistic. You are the person I look up to, you brighten everyone's day, yet no one knows if you're dying inside. You are beautiful and you know it. You taught me it's completely fine to love yourself. So do it.
  • Dear Virgo: You're so selfless. You always try to help me, doesn't matter if you understand me or not. I know that sometimes it's hard for you to show that you care about me, but I notice in this little things you do for me that you do care. And that's fine. You're human. It's okay to break down. It's okay to talk to someone. You will get through this all. I'm right here by your side.
  • Dear Libra: I feel like everyone of you is my sister or my brother. You can make me feel special without knowing it. When we're talking about god and the world, it's like I've known you all my life, even if it's just hours. I want you to look at the mirror and say "I'm proud". Be confident. Believe in youself. Only if you try that, no one will stop you from loving yourself and the world.
  • Dear Scorpio: I don't even know where to start. You changed my life. You taught me things in an emotional way I never thought I'd experience. With every wise word you said you took my breath away. It doesn't matter how much time will fly, I will always remember you. You are my first love and you make everything feel so real. Everytime you look at me, I feel special. You taught me how to love someone and I taught you how to love yourself. Be happy. No matter how we're gonna end, I want you to remember us. You deserve the entire universe.
  • Dear Sagittarius: You doubt yourself more than anyone else. You wear that beautiful smile everyday, but inside you don't even know who you are. I have so much fun with you everytime we do something together. Don't let that happiness die. People look up on you. And you have to do your own thing. Don't give a shit what others think. Find out what you need, what you want and what you love. Everything else will come by time.
  • Dear Capricorn: You are one of the stongest yet most broken person I know. Or should I say, pretend to know? You hide your emotions, afraid of being hurt or replaced. I tell you something: There are people who love you and care about you. There is hope. You can have whatever you want in life, if you're just willing to accept your feelings and yourself.
  • Dear Aquarius: Being around you is like jumping from one cloud to another. Everything feels easier. Even maths. Life is easier with you. The weight of all the bad things in life are gone. I don't know how you're able to make me feel like this, but I'm sure it makes you very special and I hope you never stop making people feel like this because it's one of the best feelings ever.
  • Dear Pisces: If I'm sad, I know I can always talk to you. You always have a solution to my problem. Even if it's just a sentence like "It's okay, we will find a way.", it works. It makes me feel better. You're the most selfless person I've ever met and you're always there for your loved ones. Just take care of yourself, too, because your life is as important as the lives of everyone else.
a list of things i constantly say/type and what they mean
  • Morning: It's not good, but it's a morning.
  • How are you: I'm legitimately interested in how you slept. Tell me your dreams.
  • I'm tired: I'm depressed.
  • I'm dead inside: I feel like shit.
  • Kek: Haha, I enjoy tormenting you.
  • Keh: I want to die now.
  • Hah: I'm in pain.
  • Haha: I find this genuinely funny.
  • Hahah: Self-depricating laughter.
  • Hahahahahaha: I feel fucking crazy and frustrated.
  • Fuck it: I'm about to lay some truth down.
  • I'm off my meds: I need an excuse to feel as bad as I do.
  • I'm scatterbrained: I can't concentrate.
  • I'm jittery: I'm hella nervous for no reason.
  • I want to die: I'm feeling neglected.
  • Leave me alone: Stop doing/saying that. It's upsetting me.
  • I feel like death: I feel sick to my heart.
  • I'm busy: I'm either working or I don't have the energy to get up and do something.
  • I'm sorry: Please don't hate me for this, I know I fucked up but please don't hate me. I hate myself enough already.
  • What's up: Are you okay? Do you need help?
  • How's it going: Is everything okay with what we previously spoke about?
  • Kill me: I'm severely neglected but I don't want to say anything because if I do then I'll feel like shit.
  • It's fine: I'm still upset, but I want you to stop speaking/apologizing.
  • I promise ___: This statement is actually sincere and does not mean anything else other than what it is. i.e. I promise I'm fine means I'm legitimately fine.
  • It's okay: I don't want you to hurt.
  • I'm dying, squirtle: I'm going to pop in, but if no one notices me I will immediately assume I'm not wanted and disappear because I'm in that mindset.
  • Heya: We need to talk about something important. I may or may not confront you.
  • I don't understand: Please explain this again, in simpler terms, because I'm not good at paying attention right now and I need to understand it.
  • I don't know: Please don't ask.
  • I don't care: Please stop talking.
  • What's going on: I've missed something and I feel left out, but I'm not going to say that.
  • Fuck off: I'm tired, please give me some time.
  • Just... stop: I need a moment to process this.
  • I'm frustrated: I'm going to be bitchy today because of sexual tension. Please disregard it.
  • What about me: I feel left out of something. Including me will not help, I just wanted to let you know for next time. I will not say this if excluded again, as it proved ineffective.
  • I'm going to bed: I've decided I'm no longer wanted and am going to lay down for awhile to process my feelings alone.
  • I'm passing out: I need sleep. I'll talk to you first thing in the morning.

anonymous asked:

Hey, I'm new to the supergirl fandom and I've seen there's a lot of hate on Mon El and Karamel and honestly, I don't get it? I don't see anything wrong with what people are calling an "abusive" relationship which started with "manipulation". I thought people would've liked that a man finally respected a woman's decision and waited for her. Since you support both ships (the Rhea post you made) on Supergirl, can you explain why people think it's manipulative and abusive? Ignore if you don't wanna

Hey there, welcome to the fandom, I haven’t been posting much about the ship you mentioned (well I don’t post anything related to it at all!) But i will try to make this as brief as I possibly can. (NOTE: It’s not my fault if this post ends up in the pro tag, I have properly tagged it as anti so if this is not your cup of tea, move along)

People say it started out with manipulation because it did. You see his “declaration of love” is far worse than the usual one that most women get at least once in their lives when a male friend develops feelings for them 

Usual/expected reaction to being rejected (which was shown through Winn in season 1): will tell you how hard it was for them to admit their feelings, will ignore you because they can’t be around you when they have romantic feelings for you, you’ll feel bad because you think you’re the reason for their heartbreak (though they won’t actively blame you) but if they’re a good friend they’ll come around and you’ll go back to being the good ol pals you were 

Respectful reaction to being rejected (in James’ case being broken up with): hears you out, accepts your decision, will continue to support you as a friend and genuinely still cares about you 

Manipulative reaction (exhibited by the useless alien): guilt trip mode- on, power of guilt trip- high, back it up with- more manipulation  

Now you’ll ask me “what’s so manipulative about his response??!! He was a gentleman who accepted her choice to not be with him!!” Let’s break it down shall we:

  •  Gaslights Kara throughout the episode when she wants to talk to him about the kiss
  •  Makes the whole thing about his almost death
  •  Immediately backs up the confession with “I know you don’t care about me” 
  •  Makes sure Kara knows he’s going out with someone else (she didn’t notice them, he literally calls her and makes it awkward)
  •  Backs that up with “yeah you rejected me” (and it hadn’t been too long since he poured his heart out to Kara) 
  • BONUS- By this time he knew all about online dating yet chose to go out with a woman who would surely interact with Kara at some point because they work in the same place.
  •  Makes sure Eve knows it’s not her he’s interested in while simultaneously trying to make Kara believe things are going good with them just to make her jealous 

And all of this was before Kara admitted that she may have feelings for him 

As for the Valentine’s Day episode? *Yoda voice* The Emotional Abuse Is Strong With This One. As I stated in several other posts of mine, it’s natural to get jealous and insecure when someone far better than you enters in the life of the person you like and can totally sweep them off of their feet, BUT that’s when you are unsure of how the person you like feels about you and how they feel about the other far better person (even with this excuse the amount of jealousy m0n l showed is way out of line) . In zis epizode Kara makes it pretty fuckin clear that she absolutely is NOT interested in Mxy and wants him gone and yet the person who is “oh so in love with her” just does not get it. He doesn’t try to help her and only puts her under more pressure by making the dumb decision of going against a being who can easily turn him into ashes. As for emotional abuse, these are the the signs of emotional abuse that you will find in the very first article when you look it up on google:

  • They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.- *yelling at Kara in the middle of the DEO (’BUT THERE WAS GOOFY MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND! THIS WHOLE ARGUMENT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY! LIKE HOW OLD MARRIED COUPLES FIGHT!’ I’m sorry but fun old married couples don’t fight about murder and neither does the man sound harsh enough for the woman to literally walk away, It’s not funny and it will never be)
  • They regularly demean or disregard your opinions- didn’t think Kara was capable of handling the situation 
  • They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself- the whole daxamite thing whenever it’s convenient 

WHILE we’re on it, why not throw some other examples that took place during their relationship

  • They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams- before their relationship and during their relationship, saying she’s a hero because she likes attention, when he keeps saying Kara’s full of herself, and he never thinks Kara is good enough to fight her battles SHE IS LITERALLY SUPERGIRL YOU BUFFOOON! Don’t tell me he does it out of love cause then he’d say something along the lines of “I will fight with you, i want you to be safe” or some other sappy bs not straight up “yeah, you can’t handle this”
  • They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologising- blames Kara for lying about his identity 
  • The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests- *announces their relationship to the deo when specifically asked not to* (BONUS- let’s appreciate how the writers try to justify his shit by bringing up Bhutan’s culture where it’s done out of joy. haha okay hunny but she literally asked him not to and he ignored her wish that’s not how it works)
  • They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want- this just sums him up
  • They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility- wah wah why aren’t you hard on mxy, the one you dislike wah wah i’m the victim here cause you’re being mean to me cause i’m supposed to be better than a stalker super villain 
  • They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted- in the whole Jeremiah situation, ‘okay this is my second strike!’

And I haven’t even addressed the other reasons why people hate him (HINT: It’s got to do with him owning slaves, the best love interest who is also a black man being shoved aside to make way for him and him stealing screen time from minorities who actually play an important role in moving the plot along and not just stand there like a lamp shade) 

I hope this answered your question

Originally posted by wondwrwoman

glitter-lisp  asked:

I don't know why but I'm just picturing how Shiro seducing the alien would have gone differently if Matt had been there. I mean, it probably would have gone about the same, except that Matt just. Needs a minute. He's gotta sit down. Lie down. Bury himself. Maybe cry a little. Maybe borrow some of Keith's music as he rethinks everything he thought he knew about himself and his ability to function as a human being when he can see Shiro's chest and abs and arms and FUCK.

Lance whooped, loudly enough that Matt nearly jumped out of his chair.

Covering the ear closest to him, Keith scowled.  “Ow.  You want to get any louder?”

“Is that a dare, Mullet?”

Hunk shoved an arm between them, rolling his eyes.  “Nope. We are not getting in a fight here.  That’s, like, a level of skeevy I don’t want to touch.  Play nice or go to separate corners, I don’t care which.”

Which was fair.  It was bad the best place to watch their target was a strip club.  That was strange, even if Matt didn’t find any of the dances on stage very biologically stimulating.  Nothing about that slug thing was terribly inspiring, no many scales fell off their back.

Space was weird.  But Matt already knew that.

Resting her chin on her palm, Katie eyed Lance.  “What’s got you so excited, anyway?”

Lance beamed again, forgetting the brewing fight, and gestured over.  “Shiro’s heading over.  Taking bets this time.  Think it’ll work again?”

Following Lance’s gesture, Matt spotted Shiro and froze.

First of all, skin.  Matt was not used to seeing Shiro’s skin.  At all.  But apparently for whatever it was he was planning, he’d taken off his undershirt and left his vest hanging open.

Second of all, Shiro had followed their target onto the dance floor, and was fitting in accordingly.

Keep reading

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RUNNING OFF TO
  • Cashier: *waiting nervously at bus stop* Why is this stupid bus always so late. It's either early or ridiculously late. Why can't it ever be on time. Fuck. I'm so paranoid. I feel like I did something wrong. I should've checked on my co-worker. What if they're seriously hurt.
  • Old Man: You've been talking to yourself for about fifteen minutes straight, kid. I usually ain't one to complain, but I was enjoying the silence before you started whining.
  • Cashier: Eek! Where did you come from old man?
  • Old Man: Over yonder. *points at liquor store* I've been sitting in this here bus stop since before you arrived, but you kids today don't pay attention none. I could've gutted you in a second if I wanted to.
  • Cashier: Are you going to gut me?
  • Old Man: No. At least not now. *lets off a threatening chortle*
  • Cashier: Oh my god!
  • Old Man: I'm messing with you, kid. I'm a religious man and it ain't in me to even harm a fly. Holy lord! *violently stomps his foot on the ground*
  • Cashier: What's wrong!?
  • Old Man: There was a maggot there. I hate maggots. Damn things freak me out.
  • Cashier: You said you wouldn't hurt a fly, but you'll stomp on a maggot?
  • Old Man: Never said I was pro-life.
  • Cashier: *begins to walk away*
  • Old Man: Where ya going, kid?
  • Cashier: I can't trust you, old fucking man! I'd rather walk home then stand around with you.
  • Old Man: Good thing you told me you were walking home so I can follow ya there. *chortles*
  • Cashier: Shit! *starts running*
  • *streets lights burst and the old man screams*
  • Cashier: SHIT! *runs and hides in an alleyway* What the fuck is even happening to me? I shouldn't have left early. I should've checked on my co-worker. This is some form of karmic retribution.
  • ???: NO IT IS NOT, HUMAN.
  • Cashier: Who the fuck's there!? Where are you!?
  • ???: YOU CANNOT SEE ME BUT I CAN SEE YOU VERY CLEARLY. I CAN SEE ALL PERMUTATIONS OF YOUR FUTURE, AND NONE WOULD END WELL FOR YOU TONIGHT.
  • Cashier: What?
  • ???: IF NOT FOR MY INTERVENTION, THE OLD MAN WOULD HAVE BECOME INTERESTED ENOUGH IN KILLING YOU TO HAVE TRIED IT OUT. IF NOT, YOUR BUS WOULD HAVE COLLIDED INTO AN ONCOMING TRUCK, KILLING YOU INSTANTLY. AND LET US SAY THAT YOU DECIDED TO CHECK UP ON YOUR FRIEND AT YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. WELL, IN THAT CASE YOU WOULD HAVE MET ME MUCH EARLIER. I AM NOT GOING TO PRETEND THAT I HAVE ANY GOOD INTENTIONS FOR YOU HUMAN.
  • Cashier: You're saying that I was doomed no matter what?
  • ???: HMM, NOT NECESSARILY. I WOULD SAY THAT YOU ARE IRREVOCABLY DOOMED AT THIS MOMENT, AS I HAVE TOTAL CONTROL OVER YOUR FUTURE AND NO INTENT TO LET YOU LIVE.
  • Cashier: But why? You don't have to kill me. I'm sure you could let me live.
  • ???: I AM HUNGRY. SORRY, BUT I ONLY GET TO ENJOY A MEAL ONCE EVERY FEW CENTURIES. THINK OF IT THIS WAY, AFTER I FINISH EATING YOU, I WON'T HAVE TO EAT ANYONE ELSE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. YOU ARE DOING SOMEONE ELSE A COURTESY TO WHICH I AM SURE THEY WILL BE VERY GRACIOUS.
  • Cashier: I don't care about anyone else! I don't want to die! Please, I have a family that will miss me!
  • ???: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT A FAMILY IS. GOODBYE, HUMAN. OR AS THE FANCIER HUMANS WOULD SAY, BONER APE TITS... I THINK.
  • *thousands of maggots crawl out of the shadow and onto the cashier's body meticulously chewing away pieces of flesh as they crawl along*
  • Cashier: No! It hurts! I don't want to die! Someone help me! Help!
  • Amorphous Blob: *watches quietly as the cashier froths at the mouth and quietly flails on the ground* HUMANS ARE SO MENTALLY FRAGILE. FEEDING OFF THEIR FEAR IS SO EASY. AS IF I WOULD EVER LET MY PERFECT CATERPILLARS CHEW ON DISGUSTING SULFURIC HUMAN FLESH.
  • Amorphous Blob: *burps* OH, EXCUSE-AND-MWAH. SUCH A DELICIOUS DINNER SEEMS TO HAVE MADE ME UNCOUTH. GOODNESS, I WISH MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER WAS HERE TO EXPERIENCE ME SPEAKING THE ROMANTIC FANCY HUMAN LANGUAGE TO HIM. *pops open locket containing picture of some guy*
  • Amorphous Blob: OH, MY ONE HUMAN LOVE. MY ONE REASON TO EXIST. HOW MY ICHOR QUIVERS FOR YOU SO. YOU ARE SO HANDSOME, SO GENTLE, SO KIND. I BELIEVE IN FANCY HUMAN LANGUAGE THEY WOULD REFER TO YOU AS "SAY MAGNET FEET". *sigh* I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MY DEAR.
  • Amorphous Blob: *slips locket back into its goo* BUT I MUST BE GOING NOW. I HAVE A MISSION I MUST COMPLETE. OFF I GO TO- *spots a woman's clothing store across the street* GOODNESS, THAT FACILITY LOOKS POSITIVELY GLAMOROUS. I WONDER IF I COULD... NO! I NEED TO STICK TO MY QUEST. I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN ENOUGH BEAUTY PRODUCTS TO KEEP MY VAIN THOUGHTS SATIATED. BUT... WHAT ARE BEAUTY PRODUCTS IF I DO NOT HAVE PRETTY CLOTHING TO COMPLIMENT THEM? IT WILL NOT HURT MY QUEST IF I TAKE THE SMALLEST DETOUR TO FIND SOME GLAMOROUS FASHION TO IMPRESS MY LOVE WITH.
  • Amorphous Blob: BESIDES, I AM A PRINCE. PRINCES HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. NO ONE CAN LOVE A PRINCE THAT LOOKS LIKE A COMMONER. *rolls towards the beauty store*
  • Cashier: *lies braindead and gargling on their own spit*
After 200+ hours of playing  Breath of the Wild, I have finished my adventure. Here are my thoughts. (Spoilers)

So, almost two months after its release, I have officially completed The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and oh boy, do I have a lot to say about this game. I’m a little hesitant to call this a review, I guess, because it’s not organized too well or intent on giving a score or anything silly like that. But considering my love for this series and acknowledging this game as a huge departure from what many have grown used to, its got my head spinning with a whole bunch of thoughts that I just feel like dumping somewhere. This is mostly an art blog, it feels a little weird sticking this here but I honestly don’t know where else I’d put it. I’ll try to organize my brain and keep things as short as possible, but for the most part I’m just gonna jump in.

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My Review of Teen Wolf  6x16 - Triggers

4 more episodes to go!!! And the countdown begins. Let’s review 6x16 shall we?


- Favourite Scenes

1. Scott and Malia
They seem so natural, I didn’t think I was going to like them together but 6B has proven me wrong. That kiss scene didn’t feel forced, their chemistry is strong, the characters compliment each other well. And now I’m wondering why they weren’t an item sooner?.

Another scene that surprised me was when Malia was talking about how she still had so much left to do. And if I’m being honest, I’ve never paid much attention to Malia. But that scene actually made me cry, something that I’ve never done when it comes to her. Even though Malia was a character that took a long time to warm up too (for me anyway), I’m glad I kept an open mind about her. Because season 6 has shown me that she has so much depth, her character had grown in ways that I didn’t think was possible.

Scott and Malia = great pairing

Malia Tate = great development

2. Liam and Theo
The car scene was my favourite regarding these two. It showed potential, if you will, that these two could become friends or have a brotherly bond, nothing romantic (for me at least). It’s an unlikely pair, because after all the shit Theo did I wouldn’t expect Liam to be all buddies with him. But this season has given us the unexpected more than once, so it’s not that big of a stretch to see Liam and Theo actually working together.

I don’t know what else to say about these two, besides, that I’m looking forward to watching more of their interactions. And of course to see how Theo’s redemption arc works out.

3. Nolan
I really, really like Nolan. And I feel so bad, because you can tell that his conflicted. It showed during the locker room scene when he watched Gabe kill the other kid (forgot his name). The internal struggle for Nolan has been front and center for a few episodes now, and I’m scared to think that perhaps he might end up collateral damage, or risk his life to save someone, etc. I wouldn’t be all that surprised if he did turn and join the supernatural side. I’m praying that out of everyone Nolan sees sense, reason, anything and does the right thing.

Because after the annoying guidance counsellor told Gabe to get rid of “it” and referred to the poor kid as not even human, I want Nolan to step up and see what his been doing has been a mistake. That Scott and all the other supernatural creatures are human, that they’ve done nothing but risk their lives to protect the town, suffered loss and death of their own and still manage, despite all of that, to remain good.

Come on Nolan don’t let me down!!.

4. Last Scene
I’m in no way okay with Mama McCall getting shot. However pushing that to the side (for next episode), I liked that the last scene set up the stakes even higher. These last 4 episodes will be action packed, drama filled, emotionally torturing, but I’m so ready (I say that now, but watch me not be ready ahaha). I love how Lydia’s banshee powers was trying to warn her about it as well, the scene where it switched from the bunker to Scott’s house was visually done really well.

The last scene has really set things spinning, and knowing that there is a one week wait until we find out if Mama McCall is going to survive is going to kill me.

- Least Favourite Scene
When the guidance counsellor and Gerard were talking at the Zoo. I’m sorry, but can someone just shut them up already?. I don’t care who, I don’t care how, I just want someone to put them in their place. Because I’m getting sick of these two by the episode. I mean Gerard has pulled this shit before, so you expect it from him. But this counsellor is just driving me up the wall, that there is nothing the writers can do to make her seem somewhat human.

It’s funny, because out of the supernatural creatures she’s hunted and “claims” to be dangerous, she’s actually shown and proven to be far worse than all of them combined. So the jokes of her when she gets a claw, bullet or blade stuck in her. If her reasoning and back story was a lot stronger, then maybe, you’ll feel somewhat sorry for her. But her “excuses” and trying to jusifty it all, gets more ridiculous each episode.

- My rating of the episode (it will be a rating out of 10)
I will rate this episode a 8/10

- Favourite Quotes
Mason: His driving a bright red car, his actually terrible at this

So a Brony tried hitting on me in a coffeeshop today

I am literally parked in the furthest corner of this Starbucks, with my tablet out, my computer on the little table and my backpack on the other stool at the table. The coffee shop is slow and there is lots of space.

I am /conspicuously/ busy, am trying to do homework, look up apartment rates and talk to my friends.

And then the fedora walks in. 

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Pathetically

A/N: I posted this before but tumblr screwed up so I’m posting it again. 

Description: Phil isn’t sure what they are any more. Then he screws up. 

Word Count: 2K


Their situation is fucked up. Like… well and truly beyond what is normal.

Phil first met Dan four years ago. At the time Dan had a girlfriend. Phil can still remember the disappointment he’d felt at that. Dan was… everything he was attracted to. Smart, funny, sarcastic, quick witted… the fact that he was also very nice to look at didn’t help Phil’s immediate crush at all.

The first year he knew Dan was confusing. There were moments. Many moments between them. And Phil wasn’t sure if he was just projecting the feelings he couldn’t seem to will away on to innocent situations, or if there was actually tension between them.

They were glances amongst conversation when no one else was paying attention. Late nights texting each other well in to early hours of the morning. It was Dan always making sure he was sitting next to Phil and nudging him at every inside joke they had (because in that first year they shared so many jokes between them).

And it could have all been innocent.

But Phil wasn’t sure.

Then, exactly a year after they had met, Dan told him.

‘Emily and I broke up.’

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those basic things we've all read in snk fanfics (feel free to add)
  • Eren: submissive, stubborn af, unrealistically angry 150% of the time, bitches at armin/mikasa about their choice in boy/girlfriends, always fights with jean, has daddy issues after mom's death, heterochromia iridum
  • Levi: calls eren and everyone younger than him a shitty brat in every dialogue, calls hanji 'shitty glasses' every 2 seconds, grumpy 90% of the time, calls erwin 'eyebrows' or 'captain america' or 'captain eyebrows', shit talks hanji and erwin but actually loves them, has tragic and out of place sad backstory dropped mid way through the story, does not ever laugh or smile or blush, has sudden change in thoughts and emotions pertaining to love interest somewhere in the fic, 'tch' in every dialogue, blown out of proportion cleaning habit, some variation of the 'do you hate me' dialogue always in the story
  • Mikasa: over protective mother figure of eren but gets offended if eren or someone else points this out- leading to an argument, fic always starts with mikasa waking eren up, cold and detached, never laughs or smile except in the presence of armin and eren, hostile with levi the SECOND they meet for no reason whatsoever, always says the 'i don't trust him but i'll kill him if he hurts you' to the boy/girlfriends of eren and armin, only hobbies are gym and martial arts and going to the dojo
  • Armin: smart genius ass with all the wisdom in the world who somehow always manages to get eren out of a dilemma, caring and considerate and omg- definitely no swearing!!, blushes easily, some variation of an outfit containing a 'baby blue button up, fitting khakis, a sweater vest and oxford shoes'
  • Erwin: only two options in fics- 1) manipulative asshole villainous ex of levi who wants to bring levi's current boy/girlfriend down or 2) low key manipulative and slightly chill best friend of levi, always in some authoritative position, compared to chris evans or captain america, caterpillars for eyebrows, smooth gentleman who holds doors and politely flirts with you but hot damn crazy in bed
  • Hanji: IS ALWAYS SCREAMING OR EXCITED, calls levi 'shortstack' or cute and her/his/their baby and ruffling his hair while levi mutters something about 'shitty glasses', attacks levi's SO with a million questions to which levi says 'shitty glasses leave him/her alone', always a science geek who starts to talk about complicated science the second they meet someone new
  • Jean: ALWAYS fights with eren for no reason and to serve no purpose to the fic, sarcastic comments that goes too far one day and offends someone, awkward apologies to person he offended but will play it off as "marco asked me to", called 'horseface' and infinite amount of horse references, also plays the role of evil ex of eren or armin
  • Annie: chill af but always in the background, described as someone who "finds everything boring", detached and cold
  • Reiner: buff gym lover who is buds with eren or jean and always sounds like a douche from college, always invites people to parties, 'man/bro' used in dialogues, loud thunderous laughter, slapping the backs of people he is talking to
  • Bertholdt: apparently a tall but sweaty guy who is nervous throughout the entire fic, eyes always shifting nervously
  • Connie: "YO SASHA CHECK THIS OUT cRaZy Trick i'm doing!! I AM CRAY", comic relief and is slightly written as funny
  • Sasha: "YO I WILL CONNIE ONE SEC I GOTTA TALK ABOUT FOOD FOR THE REST OF THE CHAPTER BEFORE I JOIN YOU", always talks about food, character description shortened to 'food luver' by friends, comic relief but is not even written as funny most of the time
  • Ymir: asshole who's spewing off thinly veiled insults but is loving and caring to girlfriend Krista, over protective mother dog to Krista, makes sex jokes
  • Krista/Historia: almost always works with ymir, gets flustered at sex jokes, tells ymir to stop being an asshole and apologises on her behalf, is princess and queen of fic, that's it she's not even developed in non-yumikuri fics
  • Marco: loved by all, gr8 advice giver, secretly always in love with het-Jean-who-realises-he's-gay, reminds everyone of a golden retriever but with freckles
  • Mike: introduction of character always starts with smelling people and levi/hanji/erwin saying "don't mind him"
  • Petra: ADORED by everyone, golden girl of everyone's dreams, kind and caring and loves everyone, petite but can kick your ass down in 2 seconds but no body knows that until the plot needs it
  • Auruo: bites his tongue while trying to imitate levi, fawns over petra
  • Kenny: a villain 95% of the time, related to levi/mikasa but no one knows until the plot requires it, reveals this info in a dramatic monologue, introduction starts with dramatic kidnapping/murder and a sarcastic taunting laugh from kenny as he enters from the darkness, crazy gun wielding uncle
  • Grisha: almost always having an abusive or bad relationship with eren and mikasa not mentioned at all, was working on something ~secret~ before his disappearance
  • Carla: loving mother as seen in flashbacks, violently taken away from eren as seen in nightmares, 99% dead in most fics
Why I'm Fucking Mad at the Signs
  • ARIES: You always want to be taken seriously and listened to but you never fucking listen to the advice anyone gives you. You constantly get people's hopes up but never follow through with anything. Why do you do that? You're so inconsiderate of the way everyone around you is feeling because you're in your own world and you completely fucking blow off the people who care about you for anything or anyone that comes along and grabs your attention. Quit fucking getting in relationships and acting like your significant other is the only person who's ever cared about you. They're not, and if you don't show the other people in your life that you care about them, they're going to fucking leave.
  • TAURUS: You think the world fucking revolves around you and you're so childish. You persistently go after something you know you can't have and throw a fit when you don't get it. Also, you do realize that your words and actions effect other people, right? You can't just fucking say anything you want when you're mad or upset and expect people to forgive you. Stop being so fucking self-centered. Stop expecting everyone around you to operate on your time and be around when it's convenient for you. Your constant snide remarks under your breath are unnecessary and hurtful. You take making yourself your own first priority to a new extreme.
  • GEMINI: Shut the fuck up and quit overthinking everything. You expect people to care about how you're doing and get upset when people aren't as enthusiastic over certain things as you are. You can't just assume that everyone cares about the same things as you. Nobody fucking cares about all the details in the stories you tell. Quit making a 10 minute long story out a 30 second event, if you don't stop fucking talking all the time then no one is ever going to want to listen to you anymore. You don't always have to be the center of attention. Spoiler alert, sometimes other people deserve attention too. You are so fucking caught up in your own little fantasy world that you can't handle reality any time you have to deal with it. Sometimes you have to learn how to fucking suck it up and deal with things on your own, there's not always going to be someone around who wants to listen to you bitch about the world.
  • CANCER: Stop fucking crying. You're constantly so deep in your emotions that you don't care how your actions effect people around you. Every fucking time something bad happens to you, you think it's okay to disappear for a few months and then when you're done with your pity party you decide to come back into everyone's lives and expect everything to be just the way you left it. You expect entirely too much out of people it's ridiculous. You have such an intelligent mind but it doesn't even matter because you only ever fucking use your heart. You set yourself up for so much of the hurt in your life. Stop making yourself so vulnerable and stop thinking that you can fix everyone you meet or even assuming that they want to be fixed. You're not good at giving advice, and that's alright... But you don't realize that sometimes all that someone needs is a friend and you're never fucking there for anyone when they reach their low points and need you most. Quit fucking disappearing.
  • LEO: You're so fucking selfish. You hold your pride and your image above everything else and act like it's invincible. You know it's fragile and so does everyone else or you wouldn't spend so much time trying to protect it. You think that just because you're in a bad mood everyone else needs to be as well. Quit fucking take out your problems on people who are trying to help you. You act like a hard ass but you can't fucking confront a problem head on for the life of you. Also, you're not always right. Having the last word in an argument isn't that important. Maybe if you'd shut the fuck up and care about someone other than yourself for a couple minutes you'd realize that other's people's views/opinions/feelings matter too. Quit pretending like you're on a higher level than everyone else, it gets so old so fucking fast.
  • VIRGO: You're so fucking manipulative. You only do things that will end up benefitting you in the end. You can't even fucking do something kind for someone unless you're going to get something out of it. Stop acting like you're a hard ass, you're not. When you get pissed off you just sulk and say the most fucking hateful things to people because you're so observant and you know what will hurt people the most. It's not fair that everyone in your life has to be scared that if you upset them even accidentally you're going to do anything in your power to hurt them. It's bullshit. No one gave you the power to control others, so why do you try to manipulate and control every single person in your life? Also, own up to things when you're confronted about them. Compulsive lying is your strong suit and it's getting really fucking tiring.
  • LIBRA: You are so fucking quick to cut people off. You can be friends with someone for 10 years and if they do something that upsets you then you won't hesitate for a second to cut them off. It's fucking bullshit that everyone who cares about you feels like they have to be constantly walking on eggshells. You act so fucking independent, you don't think that you need anyone besides yourself but it's funny how any time something goes wrong you're crying to me asking me for help. Open your fucking eyes. You're so easy to love, stop fucking playing games with people's minds. Just because someone tells you something that you didn't want to hear doesn't fucking mean that they deserve to be cut out of your life. You take everything so personally and assume any subtweet or bad conversation is about you. Cut it out. It's on my last fucking nerve.
  • SCORPIO: Mind your own fucking business. It's like you feed off of other people's misery and drama. You can't fucking keep a secret to save your life. You never talk about your own stories, say it's because you're a private person, but will gossip about anyone else's endeavors. You're so fucking quick to judge, and refuse to ever give people a second chance. You're constantly running around hurting other people's feelings and begging for second chances but are the most unforgiving people I've ever met. Why do you do that? You're so fucking fake to everyone you meet. You can't handle confrontation and pretend you like everyone so that they'll open up to you and you can have things to use against them when/if they betray you in some way. Why do you do this to the people you care about? Also, stop thinking you're hot shit and can get in bed with anyone you want.
  • SAGITTARIUS: You're so fucking irresponsible. This is in every aspect. Education, bills, relationships, anything. You are the worst communicators. Stop fucking cancelling plans that have been solid for a month 10 minutes before they actually happen. Also, you can't just continue to be reckless with people's hearts and expect them to stick around. Why aren't you ever there for people when they need you? You're always there to experience the good with others but as soon as things get bad and they need your love and support you just fucking leave. Why do others' emotions make you so uncomfortable? Is it because you try to pretend that you don't have any? News flash: everyone sees right through that. Stop trying to act like you're tough shit and embrace the softness that is a part of you. It's not cool to be cold and bitter and closed off to the world, you're going to end up isolating yourself and hating your fucking life. You're doing this to yourself.
  • CAPRICORN: Stop fucking holding yourself back. You second guess yourself in essentially every single aspect of your life. Stop it. I swear to god it's like every fucking time I talk to you, you plan out what you're going to say so as not to be judged. Who gave you this severe lack of self confidence? Who taught you to hold yourself back and confine yourself into such a small box? You seem so fucking mean when people first meet you because you refuse to just have a nice casual conversation with someone you don't know. Let down your walls. You're so easy to love and have so many great ideas but you're the ones holding yourself back. It's so fucking frustrating because people have to pry everything out of you. Stop being so fucking afraid of everything. Sometimes you're the epitome of living but not existing. Life experiences will be scary and sometimes you have to do things that are out of your comfort zone but guess what? So does everyone else. It's part of the fucking game, and you need to take your head out of the damn clouds and realize that life isn't always fair.
  • AQUARIUS: You're so fucking extreme. Nothing is ever neutral with you. Why can't you ever fucking find a middle ground on anything? Also, stop trying to fight every fucking person you meet. Stop thinking that your opinion is superior to any other and that everyone is out to get you. You intentionally seclude yourself from things because you like the idea of being a lone wolf. Fine, be a lone wolf, but quit fucking crying when people stop inviting you to things because you always turn them down anyways. You want so badly to be unique and distinguished. You try to act numb to everything that happens to you, as if your emotions are novacane junkies. You're a big fucking crybaby, so quit trying to hide it.
  • PISCES: I know you think that you have good intentions but you are so fucking ignorant. You think that everyone does or should think the same way as you. You're so fucking emotional but you'll never open up or be fucking sincere about your feelings unless of course you're under the influence. You let people see that you are a highly emotional person but get defensive and angry when people try to get you to open up. Why are you so fucking cold? You're so fucking good at walking back into people's lives after you made the decision to leave and they always let you back in. You always just fucking leave again. Why do you always run? Why do you get off on getting people's hopes up and then letting them down? It's like you love raising people up because watching others freefall is interesting. Well, it's not. It's so fucking hurtful. I know you think you're doing well, but don't fucking say things unless you mean them. You cause more harm than help when you deceive people and try to spare their feelings.
The signs as things they may or may not know they do when they have a crush (Based off of people I, an Aquarian, know)
  • Aries: You talk about your crush to your friends as if you and your crush are already dating! But then you become extremely angry and deny everything if asked if whether or not you actually like them. Ugh... There's one thing that really sets me off about you and your love life; you will get extremely defensive if someone else has something in common with your crush. Just chill fam, please.
  • Taurus: Like for real, you'll try to strike up conversations your crush wherever and whenever you can. It may be an awkward one, but that's usually because you, our stubborn bull, has already had the conversation planned out in your own mind and it has failed so you don't know what else to do/say. It's ok if things go differently than you plan or want. It's called Chaos Theory: look it up.
  • Gemini: Like Taurus, you'll most likely also talk to your crush but it will usually be WAY less awkward. You are the one who loves to talk (within reason... unlike some), or in some cases; listen. Plus, Gemini is usually an easy adapter, which comes in handy whenever the conversation starts to suddenly drift in a different direction.
  • Cancer: Heh... I hate to say this to you... But Cancer, you know you can be a little clingy; and that's exactly what you do to your crush. You can even be too shy to talk to them, and it still happens in a different form! With your protective nature, you feel as if everyone will be out to take them from you or hurt them. And if they, your crush, are also a close friend of yours, you will even help nurture them with their current relationship problem or heartbreak!
  • Leo: Tsk, tsk... Leo, you little fart, it's easy to see you're the playful one. You like doing activities that involve interaction between you and your crush, and your outgoing nature almost guarantee you'll be a bit of a flirt (even if you're shy). I say embrace it, but don't push it. You can tend to not think of their feelings and only your own, so don't be disappointed if your crush doesn't have or show their feelings towards you.
  • Virgo: When you do finally find someone it's sorta like... Hard to explain...? You're service-oriented, meaning you focus on making the other happy and knowing that you are available. This can be a gift, your crush may think it's awesome with how you almost shower them with affection, but you don't really think about yourself and how the other can walk all over you. Respect and take care of yourself first.
  • Libra: You are artistic and charming, two amazing traits to have when showing your love of something. You also apply it to how you interact with or talk about your crush. Basically, your whole way of speaking changes. You use more complex, attractive, and proper grammar. You may also think of/make up poems and stories about them (mostly in your head), and maybe doodle a lot of hearts and junk on stuff you own.
  • Scorpio: YOU ARE A LITTLE FLIRT-BALL WHO NEEDS TO CHILL. YOU ALSO ACT SHY AROUND YOUR CRUSH, BUT SOMETIMES ON PURPOSE. YOU ARE SCORPIO, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT YOU LITTLE DEVIL. BUT THE FUNNY THING IS... You have the power to not show anyone you like someone if you choose. But you do show it to your crush. And I think that's hella rad.
  • Sagittarius: Saggie, you truly are optimistic about having a crush. You're sure everything in the end will work out and you two will be together. You may also drop subtle hints or straight out be truthful about your feelings to your crush and everyone you know, that's cool and all, but just try to be a little more carful and cautious about it... Kay?
  • Capricorn: jfc Capricorn you got all this crush shit figured out. Your ambitious to your goals but also cautious, so when you have a crush you be sure to make progress but not too much in fear of making a mistake. You may think you're doing something wrong but others could actually learn a thing or two from you bby.
  • Aquarius: M'kay, Aquarius, you may keep your emotions inside to yourself, but when that person comes along your whole world and attitude turns upside down. You'll go on and on about your crush for hours if your friends and family don't kill you first. You also have awkward conversations with them, like Taurus, and you secretly love being teased about liking someone; don't deny it! (BTW... STOP OVER THINKING EVERYTHING.)
  • Pisces: You worry about what your crush thinks of you just like you worry about every other little thing in your life. You also doubt yourself and your self confidence hits a low. It's ok bby, just be yourself. Many people try to make fun of Pisces in astrology posts, but I don't see the point; you are one of the most caring and amazing signs. Just let your true colors show and I'm sure everything will go in your favor.

imasecretstorywriter  asked:

"Were you expecting me to talk to you? ... No, I'm not okay, and I don't know how I feel." Hoseok

It’s late when Hoseok comes home, shuffling through the door on tired feet that have been standing in the studio most of the day, and you fumble for a moment with the indecision of whether or not you should pretend to be asleep or not.

It would sure make things easier; you wouldn’t have to answer his inevitable questions (“What have you done today?” “Nothing.”, “How are you?” “Wretched.”, “Are you alright?” “No, not really.”) You wouldn’t have to worry him, have him fret over you and hover about trying to find a way to fix whatever’s wrong when you can’t even quite put your finger on it yourself. 

And yet you don’t know how much longer you can stomach it, how much longer you can act like you don’t feel like you’re collapsing from the inside out. There isn’t anyone else for you to talk to, no one who understands or would care enough to try, and though you hate being the cause of his concern, you really could use some of his comfort.

His footsteps carry into the room and your fingernails bite into your palms.

“Love?” he whispers it into the near darkness, just in case you’re sleeping, and you open your mouth but stop yourself just before a sound leaves it. After a few moments of silence, you hear the rustling of his clothes leaving his body, and then feel the dip of the mattress as he climbs onto it. He slides close to you, carefully, fitting up against your back as his fingers brush your arm, your hair, wrap around your waist to gently pull you back snug against his warm chest. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be settling down to sleep just yet, or to be bothered by the lack of sound or light, he seems to be quite content just to spoon you and take in your presence, your warmth, stroke your skin with feather light touches and breathe in the scent of your hair. 

It’s as if you’re his place of peace after the chaos of his day, like you’re all he needs to feel at home, and for some reason it makes you burst into tears.

“Baby?” he gasps as soon as he realizes that you’re sobbing in his arms, recoiling quickly away as if he’d burned you, and then he scrambles to flick on the lamp. “Shit, what happened?” He grips your shoulders and tries to get you to turn to him, but you hide away from him, pressing your face into your pillow and trying to bunch up into a tight ball. You can almost feel his panic. “Did I do something?” You manage to shake your head, and Hoseok’s sigh of relief is immediate, but he still climbs off the bed to come around and kneel down next to you. “Won’t you tell me what’s wrong? Please? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me…” 

“I… I don’t want to bother you…” Hoseok tuts like a mother at your croaked response, pushing your hair from your face and trying to catch your watery gaze. 

“Haven’t we been through this? Don’t keep everything to yourself for me.” He catches a few fat tears on his thumb, giving you a small, worried smile when you finally can bring yourself to look at him. He waits for you to finish a fresh wave of tears, handing you a few tissues conveniently located by the bed and letting you speak up at your own pace.

“What? Were you expecting me to talk to you?” you begin, having sat up against the headboard now and mopped at your face until you start to feel more human again. Hoseok’s face deeps changes in a frown that only have for result to twist at your insides. He just doesn’t get it, that it’s physically and mentally impossible to just blurs out all your feelings as if you were talking about the weather – it’s too complicated, and even more so when you don’t yourself what’s really wrong in all this.

And maybe that’s what you need – that worried look on his face that only makes you sob even harder. And you can’t hold it anymore, that’s just the drop of water that makes the water overflow from the vase, it’s the cherry on top of the cake (and not in the good way), and, it’s just so, so overwhelming. “I feel like, it doesn’t matter how hard I try to fix things, they just never change. I don’t even know why I try anymore, everything just goes to shit and I…” You press your hands to your face as your bottom lip quivers hard, trying to breathe yourself calm as you feel Hoseok shift into place next to you. His arm comes around your shoulders, pulling you into his side and letting your lean against him as another soft sob leaves you. “And no, I’m not okay, I don’t even know how I feel – it’s like, like,” His body is solid but warm, his skin is soft and smells like clean linen and vanilla, and as you soak up his comfort it feels a little easier to breathe. “Like I’m a failure.”

“You aren’t, though,” he says softly, kissing the top of your head, concern and imposition in his voice to just try and affirm that he’s clearly thinking what he’s saying. “You work so hard and you’re so strong. You don’t give yourself enough credit.” You sigh and shut your eyes, pressing your face into his neck and letting him play with your hair. “I mean, I know I’m a bit biased, but I think you’re fantastic. I think you’re smart, and funny, and sweet.” Hoseok drops another kiss to your temple. “And you’re so pretty, and so cute, and supportive of me.“ 

“But…”

“So what? You don’t have everything figured out yet. You don’t have to.” Hoseok lifts your chin so you meet his warm brown eyes. “You’ve got time, baby. You’re going to be okay. And in the meantime, you have me.” Your eyes well up again, but this time it’s because he’s making your heart feel so full you can hardly stand it. You hug him tightly, loving him so much you don’t know how to put it into words. 

“Thank you.” The words feel horribly inadequate, but you can feel him smile against your neck as he hugs you back, holding you close and kissing right behind your ear. 

“You’re welcome, love.” He squeezes you affectionately. “Never be afraid to come to me when you’re feeling down, okay? Let me carry you through the hard times.”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin


For every reader who’s having a hard time ❤️

- Nageoire

jes-cher  asked:

Hi! I'm a relatively new hockey fan, and I don't really know anyone else who watches or goes to games. Could you maybe explain the 'jersey foul' thing to me? I'm getting the impression it's looked down on to wear the jersey of a player who's been traded - say, if I'd really liked Blake Comeau on CBJ, it wouldn't be okay to wear that jersey to a CBJ game anymore. Is that correct? And why is that a bad thing, if so? I don't feel like you stop liking a player just because they got traded. Thanks!

First off - and this is the most important lesson any hockey fan can learn - you should never ever ever care what old annoying gatekeepers think you should and should not do* when it comes to lovin’ your team and this sport as hard as you like. 

That said, when it comes to getting nice and snazzy for the hockey viewing event of your choice, there are certain protocols a lot of hockey fans will stick to when it comes to wearing jerseys. 

I don’t think I’ve ever run into someone who thinks wearing a recently traded player’s jersey is a foul, but who knows what absurdity lies in the brains of judgmental jersey police. 

Here are a few of the most common “jersey fouls” you might see around a hockey rink: 

1. Wearing a team’s jersey with the name of a player who was never on that team. 

Find some chill, Oilers fans.

2. Putting your own name on the back of an NHL team’s jersey

 I think the idea is that it’s a bit presumptuous to have your name on an NHL jersey if you are not actually an NHLer, but to be honest I don’t know why people give a damn about this. That said, I also would never blow nearly $200 to stick my own name on a jersey when I could get my favorite player’s name there instead. 

3. Wearing the jersey of a team that is not playing that night. 

This isn’t completely black and white. For instance wearing a Hawks jersey to a Sharks v. Caps game would generally be a jersey foul, but wearing a Niemi Hawks jersey to that same game is debatably fine given the player is on the ice. 

Wearing the NCAA or Juniors jersey of  player of the team you’re watching is always okay. And as far as I can tell people get a lot less up in arms about wearing unrelated jerseys to lower level hockey. No one really cares if you wear your awesome Ryan Miller Buffaslug sweater to an ECHL game. 

4. Joke jerseys

The only time wearing a 69 jersey has ever been funny was in the movie Goone, so unless you’re Jay Baruchel please stop and think before dropping hundreds of dollars on a “YOURMOM #69” jersey. For all our sakes. 

5. Pink jerseys 

This is stems about 99.99% from sexism so feel free to disregard. 

6. Jerseys from the wrong time period

This is a lot more nit-picky, and the vast majority of people won’t even notice, but some old school hockey nerds consider it a jersey foul to wear a player’s jersey if the design is one said player never actually wore. So getting a Mike Modano Stars sweater with the modern logo or a Teuvo Teravainen 2009 Winter Classic jersey would be a no go. 

Personally I stick to the following rule with my jerseys: 

  • Is the person whose jersey I’m wearing currently in the arena I am watching hockey in? Then go for it.

That means both team’s gear, any players’ jerseys from past teams, or your own gross beer league swag is fair game. 

That’s my own rule, though.

More importantly, getting worked up about what other people are wearing to a hockey game is tragically absurd** and one of the worst ways a person can spend their time.

So you do you, my wonderful hockey friends. And let me know if anyone gives you shit because I will put on my hideous pink Jeff Carter Flyer’s jersey, fly out there, and punch them right in the nose. 

*Within the bounds of being a decent and non-incarcerated human. So much as I would like to sit on Jack Johnson’s front porch with a shotgun and threaten to take the life of anyone who would wrong him, I restrain myself  because he would probably find it frightening and also someone would most likely arrest me.  But beyond that YOU DO YOU YOU BEAUTIFUL HOCKEY FANS.

**Unless you are getting something truly horrible and offensive on your jersey LOOKING AT YOU “SEDIN SISTER” JERSEY BROS. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU.

-E

Chapter 65 (these parodies are becoming an actual thing now)
  • Well, I *tried* to make this chapter funny, but, seeing as I've NEVER been so sad about a work of fiction before.... yeah.
  • (INT: Young!Kenny is talking to his grandfather.)
  • Grandpa Ackerman: So, where have you been?
  • Young!Kenny: Oh, here and there... I killed some more MPs, met up with my sister and we talked about baby names- Levi for a boy, Mikasa for a girl- and then I went to the store, bought some eggs, and killed another MP on the way home. Good day. They've started calling me "Kenny the Ripper" now. Pretty bitchin' title, don't you think?
  • GA: Kenny, we need to talk.
  • Kenny: Why? :(
  • GA: This serial killer thing is getting out of hand. Kids these days... always killing people.What's it gonna be like in the future, kids transforming into Titans and kicking down Wall Maria?
  • Kenny: I do what I want with my life, Grandpa, not you! And it's not like *I'm* the guy who's *ethnically cleansing* people and *wiping their memories*!
  • GA: You *do* have a point... but still. Get off my lawn.
  • (back in the present: )
  • Kenny: *points his gun at Rod*
  • Kenny: You know what, Rod? I'm through with your bullshit. All your lies, your manipulations, your sleeping around and treating your own daughter like shit. [actual dialogue] You knew how I felt, all along, but you manipulated me anyway… And used me well, didn’t you? [/actual dialogue, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.] I can't believe I trusted a cheating piece of filth like you... I was so stupid. But this ends *now*. As of today, we're not together anymore.
  • Historia & Eren: ...Together?
  • Kenny: WORKING together. That's what I meant. And as for you, Rod, you can suck my....
  • ...
  • Kenny: Knife.
  • Kenny: Historia, are you *really* going to do what he says? Just like *that*?
  • Historia: Um...yeah?
  • Kenny: Take it from me, kid. Your father might be charming, he might have his ways of getting people to like him, but he's not worth it. We're better off without him. Or are you forgetting about how he treated you? I was *there*. Face it, kid. He never loved you and he never will. It hurts, I know.
  • Historia: ...You killed my mother in front of me. When I was *ten*.
  • Kenny: Sorry about that, kid. But hey, it's not like she ever loved you in the first place, right? And Rod wanted her dead and I... I was all to happy to comply.
  • Historia: (mouth agape) "Sorry about that"? Don't I get a fruit basket and a nice note?
  • Rod: Kenny... please. Leave me if you must... but don't turn my daughter against me as *well*. She's all I've got left.
  • Rod: But Kenny... I'm proud of you. Now go. Leave me behind and find somewhere to lead a long, happy life. (/close to actual dialogue- it's impossible not to ship Rackerman at this point.)
  • *Call Your Name playing in the background*
  • Kenny: That'd be boring. *walks over to Eren and cuts his forehead* Now, go transform and kick his ass for me, okay? 3...2...1...
  • Eren: *does nothing*
  • Kenny: ???
  • Historia: ???
  • Rod: Foolish boy. You've chosen your own demise.
  • Eren: I'm limited... Just look at me. I'm limited. And just look at you, you can do all I couldn't do. So now it's up to you, Historia. For both of us. I want you to take the Coordinate from me.
  • Historia: Eren... but why?
  • Eren: I see it now. If the Coordinate remains in me, my survival will bring final destruction to the human race. But it is possible for me to be killed, and whether I live or die makes no great difference. In truth, death may be the only absolute freedom there is.
  • Historia: ... I don't understand what you're talking about, Eren.
  • Eren: Please... end me. Otherwise, you will be destroyed. Only one of us can be chosen to avoid the destruction and seize the future. And you are not the existence which should die.
  • Historia: (tearfully) ...Okay. And when you told me I was a normal person that one time... it meant a lot to me.
  • Eren: And two more things, Tori... Tell Mikasa I'm sorry. Take care of her, okay?
  • Historia: *sob*... I will. And...?
  • Eren: ...And promise me you'll get to see the ocean someday.
  • Historia: *nods and injects herself*
  • *Boom*
  • Jean: Did Eren just... die?
  • Levi: It's pretty unclear.
  • Mikasa: *Eren alarm going off*
  • (Somewhere else: )
  • Ymir: We're going back.
  • Reiner: But why?
  • Ymir: Historia's having a shippy moment with someone else.
  • END
Another OTP Prompt!

(cue the legions of people I imagine screaming “FINALLY”)

So I finally finished this one, and I gotta say it’s probably not my best. The ending was kind of rushed and I know the plot is stupid but hey, I enjoyed it none the less

Prompt: Imagine your OTP meeting in a Port-a-Potty

Pairing: Sockathan

Words: 1067

Notes: I just want to point out that Ralic is an OC who is making an appearance for this fic only. You probably won’t ever see him again. I needed a name of a friend and that name was the first thing to pop into my head, so I chose him. Other than that, nothing more to say other than an Alive!Sock au like always. I don’t even know Sock’s age in this one don’t look at me, and Jonathan’s 17 per the norm.

Enjoy!

Keep reading

New Jobs 😕
  • Me: *typing documents at laptop*
  • Me: *hears something hit my window*
  • Me: *something hits my window again*
  • Me: *nervously opens window and peers outside*
  • Me: *is relieved to find out it was just some girl flinging pebbles at my window* Please stop throwing things at my window!
  • Some Girl: Oh shit, sorry! I thought you were someone else. My girlfriend lives in these same apartments. I'm trying to get her attention.
  • Me: Couldn't you just knock at her door?
  • Some Girl: Hmm, actually that's a much better idea. Thanks!
  • Me: *goes back to typing documents* I can't believe this. I'm working at home and barely getting paid for it. Darn, an entire section of the client's financial history is missing.
  • Doggo: HUMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
  • Me: Fuck off, Doggo! I'm working!!
  • Doggo: OKAY, JEEZ. CALM DOWN.
  • Me: *dials customer service*
  • Rep: Hello, thank you for calling Darkheart Pharmaceuticals' customer care line. I'm your representative for tonight. How can I help you?
  • Me: Hi, I'm actually one of your outside agents. I'm going through a client's file, but I noticed that a large portion of their financial history is missing. I was wondering if there was anyway I could get a copy forwarded to me.
  • Rep: Sorry, we don't work with agents in this department. We're strictly customer care only.
  • Me: But, this is the department they told me to call if anything was wrong.
  • Rep: They gave you the wrong number. There's nothing I can do for you. Sorry.
  • Me: Come on! I work for the same company as you. I can't finish notating this client's account if I don't have all of their history. This coul-
  • Rep: *hangs up on me*
  • Rep: *sighs* I'm such an Eric.
  • New Guy: *watches rep from his cubicle* She is a looker. Isn't she, man.
  • Co-worker: Shouldn't talk about your co-workers like that. If human relations hears you saying that, you could get terminated. It's a very Eric thing to do, after all.
  • New Guy: Name's Todd, not Eric.
  • Co-worker: Okay, Todd. Start acting less like a Todd and more like a Mike!
  • New Guy: Uhh, sure thing, man. Gotta get back to my training class. Break's over.
  • *in the training room*
  • New Guy: *takes a seat*
  • New Guy: Training's going slow isn't it.
  • Trainee: Yup.
  • New Guy: Can barely stand it.
  • Trainee: Uh huh.
  • New Guy: *whispers* People are kind of fucking weird around here, aren't they?
  • Trainee: Yeah.
  • New Guy: It must be a night shift thing, right.
  • Trainee: Maybe.
  • New Guy: You usually work night shifts?
  • Trainee: No.
  • New Guy: I fucking love it. In white color jobs like this there's no workload. You just get paid to sit around and browse the internet.
  • Trainee: Mmmhmm.
  • New Guy: I don't even know why they're training us. You know we're not gonna do shit.
  • Trainee: I guess.
  • Supervisor: Everyone quiet down!
  • New Guy: There's only two of us in here, miss.
  • Supervisor: Yes, and I need you both to be quiet. The video you're about to watch is very, very, VERY important! It's the key to your success at this job. It will make sure you're in top shape to be the best employees you can be. It will change you mentally and physically, and drastically alter your life. I present to you, the Darkheart Pharmaceuticals training video!
  • Supervisor: *claps*
  • Trainee: *claps*
  • New Guy: You guys are clapping?
  • Supervisor: Yes, clap or your fired!
  • New Guy: *claps* Ehehehe...
  • Training Video: *starts*
  • Training Video: Welcome, new employees, to the Darkheart Pharmaceuticals full motion audio training module.
  • New Guy: *nods off a bit*
  • New Guy: *whispers* This is already making me fall asleep and we're not even 10 seconds in, man.
  • Trainee: Shhh.
  • Training Video: Hi, I'm Mike and I'm the perfect Darkheart Pharmaceuticals employee. Not only that, I'm the perfect person. I'm mentally sound. I'm physically fit. I'm spiritually engaged. I'm basically better than you all ways possible. My clerical abilities are above and beyond that of any other sentient creature. Today, new employees, you'll learn how to be just like me. Or at least have modicum of my shining greatness, lest you become like Eric.
  • Supervisor: *boos and hisses*
  • New Guy: *whispers* She's nuts.
  • Trainee: Quiet.
  • New Guy: *nods off*
  • Supervisor: *claps loudly and sobs*
  • New Guy: *jumps in his seat*
  • Trainee: *claps aggressively* Bravo! Bravo! Please, let me watch it again!
  • Supervisor: I'm sorry, but non-supervisors can only view Mike's grace once.
  • New Guy: I must've slept through the entire thing.
  • Trainee: You missed out. I'm a better person than I was 24 minutes again. I'm ready to help turn Darkheart Pharmaceuticals into the best damn pharmaceutical company in the world.
  • Supervisor: Oh, you! *spreads out arms* Come here!
  • Trainee: *hugs the supervisor*
  • *supervisor and trainee begin to make out*
  • New Guy: Oh, uh, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
  • *in the break room*
  • New Guy: *attempts to pour coffee*
  • Coffee: *falls out in gelatin-like clumps*
  • New Guy: Okay.
  • New Guy: *spots rep in the corner of the room*
  • Rep: I'm an Eric... I'm an Eric... I'm an Eric...
  • New Guy: Hey there!
  • Rep: AH!
  • New Guy: Oh, sorry to startle ya!
  • Rep: H-Hello.
  • New Guy: Hi, Eric.
  • Rep: No, my name is not Eric!
  • New Guy: So, what's your name?
  • Rep: I don't want to tell you.
  • New Guy: Uh, okay. *tries to sip coffee but remembers that it's gelatinous*
  • New Guy: Uh, I'm new here! Just started training today. Very interesting workplace.
  • Rep: *nervously looks new guy up and down* Yeah.
  • New Guy: What do you do here?
  • Rep: Work.
  • New Guy: Like phone work?
  • Rep: My break is over. I have to go. *shuffles away*
  • New Guy: *attempts to sip coffee again*
  • *back in the training room*
  • New Guy: Anyone here? Guess not.
  • New Guy: *wanders around the office, jello coffee in hand* Did everybody just leave?
  • Someone: *watches new guy from nearby*
  • New Guy: Who's there!?
  • Someone: *quickly slithers away*
  • New Guy: Hey, I just saw you! Come back!
  • New Guy: *follows someone to an abandoned cubicle covered in feathers*
  • Lone telephone: *rings*
  • New Guy: *answers* Hello?
  • Me: Hi, I'm an outside agent working for Darkheart Pharmaceuticals. I've been trying to get in contact with someone who can forward me a client's financial history. It's absolutely necessary that I get this information soon bec-
  • Someone: *whisper's into new guy's free ear* You can't help her, buddy.
  • New Guy: *gets startled and drops phone and coffee* HOLY SHIT!
  • Supervisor: There you are!
  • New Guy: Huh?
  • Supervisor: Your training isn't over! Get back to the room! I can't believe you're just wandering around like lost puppy.
  • Supervisor: *mutters under her breath* Damn millennials.
  • New Guy: Sorry, miss. *walks back to the training room*
  • Me: Hello? Hello? Is someone there? Please respond! Please, I seriously need this client's information! My job is on the line here! I-
  • Someone: *hangs up the phone*
Random lyrics sentence starters
  • "They make it easy."
  • "You give in to everything."
  • "There's no need to disappear. i've got room for you in here."
  • "I've been longing after you since the start."
  • "All you have to do is stop by."
  • "So shut the bedroom door and shut out the world some more."
  • "Take it easy."
  • "I'm building an empire."
  • "So little time and so much to do."
  • "This is as good as it gets."
  • "Why are you wasting your blood, your sweat, your tears?"
  • "I'm never gonna look back."
  • "Think twice, you might not like it."
  • "Only I know the ugly."
  • "I paint pretty on my face."
  • "I'll fight, I scream, I'll misbehave."
  • "Got secrets you won't see on stage."
  • "All we do is drive."
  • "All we do is think about the feelings that we hide."
  • "All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign."
  • "Sick and full of pride."
  • "California never felt like home to me."
  • "His laugh echoes down the hallway."
  • "It's so simple, but we can't stay."
  • "Over analyze again."
  • "Would it really kill you if we kissed?"
  • "It's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl."
  • "I understand that you are not impressed."
  • "I heard you let that little friend of mine take off your party dress."
  • "I'm not going to get too sentimental."
  • "I don't know if you've been loving somebody, I only know it isn't mine."
  • "I know this world is killing you."
  • "My aim is true."
  • "Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking when I hear the silly things that you say."
  • "I can't stand to see you this way."
  • "There’s nothing you can do."
  • "Boy, she’s taking over you."
  • "Let’s misbehave."
  • "You should've been there."
  • "I would've been so happy."
  • "That was the moment I knew."
  • "I just wanna be alone."
  • "Your close friends always seem to know When there's something really wrong."
  • "He said he'd be here."
  • "What do you say when tears are streaming down your face In front of everyone you know?"
  • "What do you do when the one who means the most to you Is the one who didn't show"
  • "I'm sorry I didn't make it."
  • "I don't mind where you come from as long as you come to me."
  • "You've shown me eventually what you'll do."
  • "I don't mind, I don't care, as long as you're here."
  • "Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again. You'll just come back running."
  • "And I'll take you for who you are if you take me for everything."
  • "I have the skill, yeah I have the will, to breath you in while I can."
  • "Does your heart ache when you get around me?"
  • "Does your heart break when you think about me?"
  • "I did what they thought would be good for me."
  • "Now you wanna cry call me a cheater, left you to die, though I did neither."
  • "Do your worst."
  • "I couldn't be your friend, even if I tried again."
  • "You had me all wrong."
  • "It's never enough to say I'm sorry."
  • "No matter what I do, you're always mad."
  • "I can't give you what you want and it's killing me."
  • "I'm starting to see maybe we're not meant to be."
  • "There's no way out for you and me."
  • "How I wish that we could meet again."
  • "Don't you break my heart again."
  • "I still believe that change can happen, though it's hard and it happens slowly."
  • "I still believe forgiveness comes with love."
  • "We all have our secrets."
  • "I'll never catch up with you."
  • "Shit gets dark when you lose it all."
  • "You were like home to me."
  • "Please don't close your eyes. Don't know where to look without them."
  • "I know you care."
  • "There's trouble ahead, I can feel it."
  • "You are just saving yourself when you hide it."
  • "I know you care. I see it in the way you stare."
  • "I'll be saving myself from the ruin."
  • "It wasn't always wrong."
  • "Now I don't warm my hands in your coat, but I still hope."
  • "Why can't I dream?"
  • "I can't say that I'm sorry for loving you and hating myself."
  • "It's killing me to walk away."
  • "How come you don't want me now?"
  • "How come you always lead me on?"
  • "Why don't you want to show me off?"
  • "Tell me why you couldn't try and keep me here."
  • "I see you by my house walking with a different girl."
  • "Someday soon, I won't be the one who waits for you."
  • "Have you lost the same things I have lost?"
  • "Do you know that panic I know?"
  • "I wish time was still. We'd stay right here with time to kill."
  • "You left everything behind except yourself."
  • "All I see is question marks and nothing else."
  • "You must have landed in New York by now."
  • "Please don't bring this love down."
  • "You told me you loved me, so why did you go away?"
  • "I don't know how to be something you miss."
  • "I never thought we'd have a last kiss. Never imagined we'd end like this."
  • "You're showing off again."
  • "I'm not much for dancing."
  • "How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something... There's not a day I don't miss those rude interruptions."
  • "I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe."
  • "I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are."
  • "I hope something reminds you wish you had stayed."
  • "I never planned on you changing your mind."
  • "What did you expect from me?"
  • "I know how it's going to end."
  • "I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down."
  • "You knew all along."
  • "Try to forget me and just move on."
  • "Oh, my dear, what have I gone and done now?"
  • "I ruined the evening again."
  • "I don't have love left inside."
  • "Are you desperate for an answer?"
  • "I don't have an ounce of good left in me now, that's why I walked out."
  • "I am not the one that you should blame."
  • "Do your best to forget my name."
  • "Can you place yourself in a moment's notice, in my situation?"
  • "You've made me cold and afraid."
  • "If you gave me a chance to love you, could I come back and love you?"
  • "I gave you everything, but I couldn't give enough."
  • "You threw stones at me and said that they were thrown in love."
  • "Turns out that I don't really love you at all, 'cause love would find forgiveness."
  • "Nothing's good, nothing's right, but I love you."
  • "Turns out that I don't really love you at all."
  • "Love would find forgiveness."
  • "I felt you in my legs before I even met you."
  • "I feel you in my heart, and I don't even know you."
  • "You were all I had."
  • "I was yours, right?"
  • "The crowds in stands went wild."
  • "One day, we will be remembered."
  • "For a moment a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world."
  • "I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you."
  • "If you have children some day, when they point to the pictures, please tell them my name."
  • "I've never been so ashamed."
  • "It really felt like you and me were getting better."
  • "I hope that you still want me."
  • "Don't walk away and leave me without a reason."
  • "There's too much to say that hasn't been said."
  • "I know I was wrong and I'm sorry for making the same mistakes."
  • "I know I make it hard."
  • "I know you want to want me."
  • "Wish I could take it back, but you know I can't."
  • "I hope one day you understand."
  • "This can't be the end."
  • "This is the end."
  • "Don't walk away."

anonymous asked:

Wait wait, why are you against romantic orientation? Like for me personally, I'm asexual, but I am still very much interested in dating. So I classify myself as a heteromantic asexual. I don't see how that's bullshit in any way. :o

Either you are asexual or you are not. If you’re going to put stipulations and exceptions in place so you can be “kind of asexual” (and LGBT by extension) then you are not asexual. It’s not a spectrum and your “other orientations” don’t send you sliding up and down it.

Essentially, what you just said is:

“Personally, I’m dead, but I’m still very much interested in being alive so I classify myself as a Breathing Corpse”

That’s pretty much why I don’t support it. Literally, it makes no sense AT ALL, and, again, it’s clearly used so straight people can feel special. You’re basically trying to make a sexuality out of not being a whore. But still a STRAIGHT not-whore regardless.

Which is a common everyday thing. In fact, it’s the opposite that is “odd”.

Nb4 “Billeh, it’s not that you don’t want to but that you cant!” Don’t bullshit me. Half the people claiming this label are virgins, basement dwellers, and people who haven’t hit puberty yet anyway. I feel like it’s easier to say that one is asexual and snowflake it up with romantic orientations than to admit that they can’t get laid. *shrug*

I think you people get on here and convince yourselves that you’re asexual for whatever reason you wanna come up with on the fly. I’m sorry to break it to ya, but chances are extremely high that you’re just as normal as the rest of us. Terrible, I know.

The only one I get behind is “aro asexual” because it’s the only one not trying to play games. Which, it’s very obvious that a lot of you are.

The LGBT movement and the struggles we’ve dealt with over the years because of these types of labels and vocabulary, the way society has reacted to them, is not a toy for you to entertain yourself with. I do not support the “romantic orientations” because I don’t support straight people playing semantics so they can call themselves something else just for the fuck of it. Even if it was a legit thing, society really doesn’t give a shit if you’re banging or not but they deff care that 2 men are walking around holding hands, so really, honestly, what am I meant to support here? Personal validation? Why should anyone care that you actually don’t want sex? You still ganna date members of the opposite gender right? All we need to know. Thus, hetero. Straight. It’s funny that your label is meaningless if you remove the assumption that everyone else around you is actively sexual, which is what makes you “different” right? What if I I said that the whole “everyone else is doing it” shit is something only high school kids think. Are you no longer asexual after you graduate and stop basing your own shit on what everyone else may or may not be doing? If a bisexual isn’t suddenly gay when they date another man then why does an asexual have a whole “spectrum” to choose from when they decide to fuck or whatever?

See, I like women. I came to this conclusion because I like women, not because I thought everyone else around me liked men. My sexuality doesn’t change based on whether or not I’m the odd man out.

And please don’t come at me with that completely unfounded defense of “asexuals get raped because people think it will fix them” cause a bunch of people claiming thats that a thing doesn’t actually prove that it’s a thing like that. I’ve never seen any proof of this claim, just shit loads of the claim itself. Seems more like a myth these days. Anecdotes aren’t proof.

Also, I know this seems very “you must be oppressed to be allowed in!” Which is not what im saying. The LGBT movement is for lgbt people and their allies to stand as one. I’m asking why you’re trying so hard to jump into the spotlight of a group that was built on the nessisity of liberation and a desire for equal treatment. This is the BASE context and everybody knows it. So what I don’t get is why it seems like y'all so badly seem to want to be included in that context when… you arnt. Because for all intents and purposes the world sees you as striaght.

Also also, I don’t want any shit about “I’m not trying to do that I just want a word that fits me” like, try “human”, and just because you don’t acknowledge that you’re also doing the shit above doesn’t mean it’s not what’s happening. It’s the inherent context of the situation.

It’s like saying you want and deserve the right to be supported as a subsection of the KKK but you don’t see why that should have anything to do with whether or not you hate black people and also you refuse to wear the uniform.

It’s like being in an AA meeting and someone comes in saying they’ve never touched booze a day in their life, but they’re a non drinking alcoholic and deserve the right to be there and regarded the same…just cause. And then somehow they manage to be louder than everyone else in the room.

I don’t support people putting their desire to “fit in” over reality. Reality of it being that my ass can’t go to a support group and actually find support anymore cause its all about these new genders and sexual orientations, people talking about how they only want to date boys on Tuesdays and wear skirts on thursdays meanwhile us “old school LGBT members” just need to suck it up I guess like who cares if the LGBT groups have nothing to do with LGBT shit anymore? I don’t go to groups anymore cause my ass could stay on tumblr for the same content and I wouldn’t have to get dressed for it.

Anyhoo.

I promise you that there is more in the FAQ, you can’t miss it it’s the biggest section there. I’ve said more than enough on this topic already, this topic always drags on for days…it’s all in there for you.

“Romantic orientations” and all the new genders and the spectrums… literally all this shit does is take away from what makes the LGBT community LGBT. Not in the sense of like gatekeeping, that y'all ain’t allowed, but the fact that y'all are coming in and changing the core of shit, the fundamentals of the shit that helps define the type of life I live and the sort of support I need to live it so it can suddenly be all about you? I’m shoved in the backround for the sake of “all inclusiveness” -including people who literally don’t need any resources or anything since their ass doesn’t have to live this life…. why should I support that? So you can feel valid or like you belong?

Do y'all even consider what this “new wave of lgbt identites” is doing to the “old wave” who still to this day need help but have been forced to the side to make room for you people and your make believe problems? Policy changes or descisions made that only benefit you and fuck us over? (For example, do you know how many LGBT people want the word Queer to die off forever, but y'all think it’s cute and wanna reclaim it so…fuck us, I guess. I have a t-shirt from my last trans event that says Super Queer across the front, and a button that says Keep Calm and Queer On. It makes the “new wave” happy so who fucking cares that the rest of us are uncomfortable right?) Why should I support this? What about any of this should I be backing here- other than to let you feel like you “found the word to describe you” and slap it on yourself or w.e while the rest of us have been trying to escape the stigma and/of these types of words that society has forced on us and used to hurt us for decades?

Like…give me a reason that isn’t about stroking your ego.

There I go ranting again…

-B