i don't care i love this quote so much

Of course I care about you, otherwise I wouldn’t be so afraid of losing you as soon as I saw you.
—  Poets Love Her
because

because you don’t need me.
because you don’t care.
because you don’t love me.
is somehow the only reason i can think of.
of why i love you so much.

- P.G.G

[ another one of those written a long time a go for a wannabe book i dreamed of writing lol but this is actually really sad :( xx ]

If I ever decide to give up on you, understand how much that took out of me. I’m the type to give endless chances, always have your back even when you are wrong, and truly accept you for who you are. When the rest of the world doesn’t want you, I will. So if I gave up on you, understand it took everything I had left inside of me to leave you…because if I love you, and care about you, there isn’t anything on the planet I wouldn’t do for you.

okay so i was having thoughts this morning about how i believe that obi-wan was probably t h e best master for anakin under the circumstances (and a few others) and how as much as i hate predestination, if you accept anakin as (one of?) the chosen one(s), then he is fated to bring about the fall of the Jedi - cos you can’t have balance when the lightside outnumbers the darkside by as much as it does. and i started thinking about how what if the universes where obi-wan is his master greatly delays him fucking off to the darkside and bringing about the end of the Order? well, he was all of 23 when that happened, which means in other universes, where obi-wan is not his master, he probably abandons the order much younger than that.

okay, so - an au where.

an au where qui-gon lives. despite reasons why it probably wouldn’t happen, he becomes anakin’s master, obi-wan fucks off to do Knight Things and Grow As His Own Person. anakin has his canonical crisis of faith and great realization that being a jedi is difficult and not actually all that he thought it was going to be. he fucks off from the order - say around the age of fifteen?

qui-gon, despite everything, goes off to hunt him. despite this “betrayal”. after all, anakin is the chosen one, right? so he even goes so far as to call in obi-wan to help him find anakin. meanwhile, anakin is employing every last trick in the book to remain out of reach. he won’t go back - he won’t. he can do more good out there in the galaxy, instead of tied down by the (hostile, tbh) jedi order.

it just so happens that obi-wan finds him. rather than try to arrest him or anything (leaving the order is not a ‘take into custody’ offense, as obi-wan well knows) and actually talks to anakin about the reasons why he’s fucked off. he finds the reasons understandable. besides, becoming a jedi is not being conscripted. anakin has the right to leave if he feels like it. obi-wan tells him that it’s fucking dangerous for a half-trained force sensitive out there in the wild galaxy, but when anakin doesn’t change his mind (because he’s hella stubborn tbh) obi-wan is just like “welp” and lets him go. he tells qui-gon he never found anakin, but that it’s really unreasonable to hunt the kid down for fucking off. it’s another thing that qui-gon and obi-wan don’t see eye-to-eye with.

so that’s that, right? they’ll never see the chosen one again.

but wait, there’s more. So of course the Sith find anakin. he must bring balance to the force. Dooku and Sidious play bad cop/good cop until anakin is firmly under Sidious’ thumb. (presumably, Qui-gon would have found nine hundred different ways to keep anakin away from palpatine, who might even have been the one to plant the idea of running off into anakin’s head on the few times when he was allowed to speak with the kid). anakin goes corrupt, as you do when siths are fucking with your head, and the story proceeds.

here it is, the fall of the jedi order, and order 66.

ymmv what happens to qui-gon. does he live through even this? or is he shot down protecting obi-wan? in either case, obi-wan survives as he tends to, trying to regroup with the rest of the surviving Jedi. of course, you have this wretched sith lord, Darth Vader, hunting them all down. his skill with a blade is unparalleled. no jedi who has faced him has survived.

when he finds them, obi-wan stays back, sacrificing himself to save the others. and yet, to his surprise, darth vader does not kill him. darth vader himself does not understand entirely why, only that once when he was very young, a jedi heard him out and let him go.

he does not let obi-wan go, but neither does his blade fall.

I’m so fucking used to it. You let people in, they consume you like water. You begin to depend on them like air. They become the roots that keep you ground. Then they are gone like a flame in the wind. Why does everyone in my life leave me?
Draco confesses
  • Harry: I have been surfing the internet lately.
  • Ron: What is this infernet thingy?
  • Hermione: Its where you see all those food pictures, Ron. And its called internet.
  • Harry: What's this drarry that everyone's talking about?
  • Hermione: Its a ship.
  • Harry: A what? I saw nothing like a ship!
  • Hermione: Well, it is a concept of a fictional couple. The muggles know about us but they think we are stories. Well, let me show you.
  • Harry: I know about that. Ginny told me.
  • Hermione: Then why are you asking me, Harry?
  • Harry: Well, she said that she found the drarry ship cute.
  • Hermione: And?
  • Harry: And I found a lot of stories.
  • Hermione: And?
  • Harry: And I printed them out and took them to office.
  • Ron: Did you read them?
  • Harry: Hell no! I don't have enough patience. Malfoy was bored. He took them.
  • Hermione: ...
  • Ron: Well, I hope nothing good was in them. Oh Merlin! Here comes Malfoy.
  • Draco: Potter, what the hell is this?
  • Harry: Well I-
  • Draco: I don't care what you have to say. For years I have been working with you, trying to behave normally with you and never expecting anything from you! Do you have any idea what you gave me?
  • Harry: Well I-
  • Draco: Thank you so much. I am glad you feel the same. I love you too, Harry.
I miss you but I doubt you miss me.
  • Person: Mehh, i don't really like Jungkook.
  • Suga: Unfriended, unfollowed, blocked. My mom is calling your mom and you're not invited to my Iper Swag Virtual Graduation Party for A to the G to the U to the STD bish.
I haven’t cried this much or felt this kind of pain ever in my life… And that’s saying a lot considering I’ve already been through a lot of shit… My eyes literally ache to the point where they burn and it hurts like fuck to open them… I’ve asked for help but no one cares enough to do so…
When you’re around someone, so much, for so long, they become a part of you, and when they go away, you don’t know how to live without them.
—  Iglovequotes.com
I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. But just because I’m gone, it doesn’t mean that I don’t care. So I need you to tell me: Do I worry about you? Or don’t I?
—  🖤
I don’t know. It’s weird. You just wake up one morning and you’re bored with everything.
—  You explaining me how you stopped loving me