i don't believe the things i say

Pro tip: if you’re trying to convince people how not homophobic you are … maybe DON’T say things like “I’m not homophobic because I believe the entire human race is bisexual and everyone is on the spectrum!!”

Because that is one of the most homophobic things I’ve ever heard.

Like … you do realize you’re saying there’s no such thing as a real gay man, because deep down every man has some attraction to women? You do realize you just said there is no such thing as real lesbian, because you believe there is some part of her that is actually capable of wanting men? You do realize that’s homophobic as fuck, right?

Oh, and apparently no person is really straight either. Apparently if everyone just tried it or was more open-minded, we could change our sexual orientations! Deep down they’re not real anyway! Fuck “Born This Way”, amirite?

I don’t normally swear, go off, or go anywhere near the weird discourses of this website. But I cannot believe I just had to see that. With my own two eyes. From a person who seriously thinks this belief makes her an ally and a safe person to potentially come out to. WTF.


Originally posted by vegemaryam-blog-blog

anonymous asked:

Hi Alice, odd question but: Do you believe asexuals belong in the LGBT community? I have a friend who identifies this way, but as a trans girl, I'm struggling to understand how she has to go through the same things as an LGBT person by being asexual. And struggle aside, I don't even see how asexuality is THAT different from heterosexuality, just with more... hesitation!? Maybe this sounds rude, but I know you've written about asexual people etc, and I wondered what you thought. No shade intended

Hi there. I’m glad you reached out to me about this because you must have really upset your friend by saying stuff like this to them.

It’s easy to see why not only cishet people, but also LGBT+ people, think that asexuality is fake. The world is awash with sex and sexual attraction. It’s everywhere. And everyone is supposed to want it and feel it. It’s so extremely normalised that the idea that someone could be literally UNABLE to feel sexual attraction is, to many people, absolutely bizarre and a joke.

Even if you acknowledge that asexuality is real, it’s also easy to see why you would be so quick to reject and get angry at asexual people who call themselves LGBT+. Because asexual people are not like you, are they. Unless they are trans, asexuals don’t have gender troubles, and unless they experience same-gender romantic attraction, asexuals don’t experience same-gender attraction! Lesbian, bi, gay etc people can all be joined together in their experience of same gender attraction, and all trans folks, binary and non binary, can be joined together in their experience of feeing a disconnect from their assigned birth gender.

The result? No one wants asexuals near them. People can’t relate. No one else feels the way asexuals do and people don’t think they should be part of the group. They’re not the same as you.

But oh god, they are not allowed in the cishet club either.

The first thing you need to try and unlearn is that asexuality is in any way similar to heterosexuality. It’s not. It’s so, so fucking not. It’s painful how different it feels to be asexual compared to being heterosexual. Telling an ace person that asexuality isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’ is about as accurate as saying being gay isn’t ‘THAT different from heterosexuality’. Being asexual means you do not experience sexual attraction, ever. EVER. And while that might seem easy to you, it’s an extremely painful and terrifying thing to learn about yourself, in a world where everyone is expected to have an array of sexual experiences, fall in love, get married, and anyone who doesn’t do that is strange and a freak.

Learning you are asexual can be terrifying. When you realise you’ve never had a crush, when all your friends have had ten each, you are terrified. When you pass the age where people have started dating and having sex and you still feel nothing - NOTHING - you are terrified. When you think about ever falling in love and the idea disgusts you, or you think about falling in love and you crave it, god you CRAVE it, but you know you can’t ever feel that, you are terrified. When you realise you will never be able to enjoy a normal romantic/sexual relationship, the ones full of passion like you see in the movies, and people will reject you because you can’t fancy them in that way, and there’s a higher chance for you than anyone else that you will simply die alone, without love, without children - you are terrified.

You think being ace is the same as heterosexuality? You think it’s an easy thing to learn about yourself? Explain the terror, then. I’m all ears.

The fact you see asexuality as 'hesitation’ is really horrifying to me. Asexuals aren’t attracted to the opposite gender but 'hesitant’ to act on it. Asexuals DO NOT feel attraction. To anyone. It’s not a choice. It’s not a way of life. It’s not the same as celibacy out of choice, or being a 'prude’, or waiting till marriage. It is ingrained in you, just like being gay is, just like being trans is. It is a part of you that no matter how hard you try to will it away, no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself otherwise, you cannot help it. You DO NOT feel attracted to ANYONE.

And in saying all this, I fully acknowledge that asexuals do not experience the extent of oppression that other LGBT+ folks do. There are no laws regarding asexuality. Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, and other LGBT+ folks no doubt experience a higher level and intensity of systematic oppression to asexuals, more frequently go through hard experiences due to their orientation or gender. But since when did being LGBT+ become a competition for 'who’s the most oppressed’? Is that what LGBT+ is? You’re only allowed in the club if you’re 'oppressed enough’? If you’re 'gay enough’? If you’re 'trans enough’?

If you need persuading that asexuals do experience their own form of oppression, though, consider the number of asexuals who are coerced into sex in order to 'fix’ them. Consider the emotional pain that I have already discussed, of feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong and gross about you because you feel attracted to no one. Consider the number of asexuals who are hounded or emotionally abused by their families for failing to find partners. Consider the number of asexuals who force themselves to have sexual experiences, because it is the norm, because they don’t even know what asexuality is, because THEY think that they are just 'hesitant’, despite finding sex disgusting and feeling no desire to do it. Do you really think asexuals are just running around, free and happy and content in who they are? They aren’t. I’m not.

So go ahead. Cast aside asexuals if you want. Call them attention-seeking, call them special snowflakes. Ignore the pain they feel. Make them go through it alone, in pain, terrified of what they are. Why on earth would the LGBT+ community be a place to support people like that!?

Messages like the one you have just sent me gives me further reason to never talk about that part of myself. To just sit and cry about it at home day after day because I do not like myself. Because I feel that nobody will accept me or understand who I am. I could list the number of things people have said to me to discredit and laugh at this part of myself, but it’s people like you who make me embarrassed to talk about it, too scared to own a label and talk about it freely and openly.

I thought, going into this, that the LGBT+ community was one of total respect, understanding, and empathy. I learnt pretty quickly that it is not.

I send love to your asexual friend. I really, really do.

Disclaimer: I am very aware of the nuances of asexuality, of the differences between romantic/aesthetic/sexual attraction, but sadly it seems that many people can’t even grasp the basic concept of asexuality, so I don’t quite think they’re ready for that yet.

The hardest thing is when you don’t want to, but you have to. It’s like you have to break your own heart. Like you have to take away your own happiness. It’s doing the worst thing that could ever happen to yourself, because you have to. So believe me when I say, I never wanted to leave you.
—  P.G.G ; jxd

I am intelligent
I am funny
I am strong
I am kind
I am thoughtful
I am a hard worker
I am responsible
I am enough
I am enough
I am enough

one of the reasons mental illness sucks so fucking much is because people around you can literally tell you again and again that they love you, that they think you’re cool and funny, that they support you in every way, that you’re talented or intelligent, and no matter how many times they say it you’ll always cringe and shake your head and say “no, no i’m not, really” but the SECOND someone says one bad thing about you, even just once. You believe it completely. 

anonymous asked:

I completely understand why Harry wrote Sweet Creature for his boy. At such a difficult time in their lives. And If I Could Fly, god. Even the sad songs on HS1, I can see myself in Louis in that we don't say much when feeling down, and H probably really just wants his boy to feel loves and confident. They're a team, they love each other. The quote about Harry re. song writers too, I didn't see it as bitter but rather as pride that my boy is doing that, and i hope i can too kinda thing

Even the interviewer said that Louis never said it in bitterness. I honestly think Louis still sees Harry as the curly headed 16 year old he met at XFactor and asked for his autograph. 

Louis always believed Harry was born to be a star, and he supports him fully in that, but I don’t think Louis believes in himself the same way and I think the way Harry writes lyrics about Louis is almost to say, 

“I’ll believe in you enough for the both of us!”

ACoTaR characters & GoT quotes
  • Rhysand: Thousands of men don't need to die. Only one of us.
  • Azriel: Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick, a shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
  • Cassian: What do we say to the Lord of Death? ...Not today.
  • Morrigan: All men must die but we are not men.
  • Amren: If you ever call me sister again, I'll have you strangled in your sleep.
  • Feyre Archeron: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken.
  • Nesta Archeron: Fire cannot kill a Dragon.
  • Elain Archeron: From ivory to porcelain to steel.
  • Lucien Vanserra: If I look back I am lost.
  • Tamlin: The things I do for love.
  • Alis: Why is it always the innocents who suffer most, when you High Lords play your game of thrones?

anonymous asked:

people always say it was fan service and i believe they did fan service because it's needed but there are things i don't think we were meant to notice. that's not fan service.

COMPLETELY AGREE.

There

are

a MILLION

moments

that

we

were

never

supposed

to

see

When it’s deliberately hidden from the world, it’s not freaking fan service

t06k  asked:

The problem isn't that you've offended people, it's that you refuse to stop. People have asked you to stop, and instead of stopping you say "It's just a joke, chill." Because you're famous now, you can't talk like you do at home or in public cause no one here knows you. So, even if you don't mean it, apologize and watch your words. People take things from famous people way too seriously for no reason, but it's a problem they need to deal with.

1- I aint famous fam. I’m just some kid with a cringe series going on on youtube.

2- I aint watching my words because I believe my dialect is fine. I only know a couple words you can use to call a person names and that sounded like my best choice

3- there are people like pewds, markiplier, jack that swear on a daily basis on their videos. And they swear like a sailor, which I find hilarious as freak. And no one is cruficying them for doing it so. And they ARE, indeed, famous.

4- with “u wont stop!!” What do you mean? I only used the word O N C E on tumblr and then refered to it as R word as I was answering people. If defending myself or try to sort out the issue is “not stoping” then… dude… you’re not understanding.

5- I got nothing to apologise for? I ised the word once under a justified circumstance that I don’t regret, for is being used in the right context under no harm. Also if you mean by the other answers people that follow me know I love sarcasm and answer some questions with bit of salt for the humor.

Yeh….


Time to reblog that clip again…

Is no one going to talk about the scene at the end of Beauty and The Beast (2017) where everyone is turning into “antiques”? It starts with Lumiere crying over Plumettes motionless body & I’M SHOOK! GARDEROBE & CADENZA REACH FOR EACH OTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER & THEN THEY SLOWLY FADE AWAY. & Then Mrs. Potts is looking for Chip & then she freezes & Chip almost crashes to the ground?!?!?! MY SOUL LEFT MY DAMN BODY!! And then Cogsworth says to Lumiere “It’s been an honor serving with you my friend?” WHAT THE HELL?!?! THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING!! DISNEY WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS WITH MY HEART; I FELT MY CHILDHOOD DIE!!

  • [During the Sea of Monsters, trying to get away from Scylla and Charybdis]
  • Percy: I have a plan.
  • Clarisse: You've got a plan?
  • Percy: Yes.
  • Clarisse: First of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.
  • Percy: No, I'm not! People say that all the time, it's not that unique of a thing to say.
  • Clarisse: Secondly, I don't even believe you have a plan.
  • Percy: I have... part of a plan!
  • Annabeth: What percentage of a plan do you have?
  • Percy: I dunno. Twelve percent.
  • Clarisse: "Twelve percent"? [She breaks into raucous laughter]
  • Percy: That's a fake laugh.
  • Clarisse: IT'S REAL!
  • Percy: Totally fake!
  • Clarisse: That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life, because that is not a plan!
  • Annabeth: It's barely a concept.
  • Percy: You're taking her side?
  • Tyson: It's better than eleven percent.
  • Clarisse: What the hell does that have to do with anything?
  • Percy: [To Tyson] Thank you, Tyson. Thank you. See? Tyson's the only one of you who has a clue.
  • [Silence as Tyson starts picking his nose]

jeremyturnips  asked:

You made a vine about heartache and someone saying "ill only break your heart."that drastically altered the way I looked at the people. Now if someone says "im a wolf with gnashing teeth and i think you're delicious " i don't think "well may Be he's vegetarian". I go shit I believe you and totally peace the fuck out. Like thanks. I know it was just a 6 second vine. But it changed me for the better.

that was honest to god the purpose of that vine

yeah its 6 seconds and said comically but there are so many things I wish I was told as an adolescent - this being one of them.

these people, men and women alike, start off the dating process by saying things like “ill only break your heart” or “i suck at relationships” or “I always do the wrong thing” so that a) you can soothe them, reassure them that’s not true so that they can feel better about themselves and b) they can use that back at you when the dating inevitably fails (i.e. “i told you id break your heart idk what you expected”) so it’s a way to not take any responsibility for their behavior while simultaneously getting consoled for their behavior - always using the other individual in the process and never actually getting better no matter how much this individual “helps” them. Most of the time this type of behavior is completely unintentional and deals with someone stuck in a cycle of abusive behavior paired with self-hatred; using people to soothe that lack of love for themselves and then pinning the blame on the other person for “not knowing better” that “they were bad”

so i’m so touched and thrilled that the message effectively went across the way it was supposed to! ultimately these people need help and i know often their partners/friends take up the role of therapist and punching bag when they’re not being paid to do so - but i think the lesson here is to know your worth and what you’re willing to put up with. regardless of how good of a person Joe is, if Joe is unaware of how abusive he’s being, you are in no way obligated to stay in that friendship/relationship. You’re a person and not every individual you come across is going to be what’s best for you. ♡

anonymous asked:

Hi, I'm bisexual but I still don't feel like I really know what biphobia really is. Obviously, or maybe not so obviously, I've experienced discrimination. But I still feel like I don't know the difference between biphobia and homophobia. Could you maybe explain it to me?

Hello,

so, homophobia is the hatred against gay and lesbian people which presents itself in many different (often institutionalised) ways. Biphobia is the hatred against bisexual people which has a lot of unique and bi-specific aspects. It can come from straight people, gay people and bi people themselves (we call that “internalised biphobia”).

Those are the main things that come to my mind right now:

  • not believing that bisexuality is “real” and therefore invalidating people who identify as bi
    • for example saying they are actually gay but too shy/scared/cowardly to “fully” come out of the closet
    • or saying that they are actually straight and just “doing it for attention”
    • the false believe that you can only truly be attracted to one (and only one!) gender (”I can’t imagine being attracted to more than one gender, so how could anyone else?”)
    • thinking it’s “just a phase” (often said about and towards bi kids/teenagers) and that they will eventually “pick a side”
  • stereotyping bi people as “greedy” or “confused”
    • “they just need to make their mind up”
    • “they have threesomes all the time”
    • “don’t date a bi person, they are all unfaithfull cheaters.”
    • “they can only be happy if they date a man and a woman at the same time.”
  • thinking of bisexuality as half gay/half straight instead of it’s own unique sexual identity
    • “how many percent gay are you?”
    • “are you like 50/50?”
    • “what gender do you prefer?”
  • repeatedly speaking over bi people when they want to define bisexuality for themselves
    • “bi means ‘two’ so you can only be attracted to men and women”, but the bi community keeps saying that the term has evolved to mean “two or more genders” which means it is inclusive of non-binary people as well (and you can identify as bi if you are for example only attracted to women and nb-people but not to men)
  • bisexual erasure
    • for example assuming someone in a same-gender relationship has to be gay and in a different-gender relationship has to be straight (this ask was a perfect example)
    • in media when TV shows refuse to say the word “bisexual” about a character who clearly showed interest in or was intimate with people of more than one gender.
    • using “gay” as an umbrella term to mean LGBTQIA+ (”gay rights”, “gay marriage”, “gay pride”) which is not just bisexual erasure but actually erases every other letter in the acronym except the G
    • labelling openly bi celebrities as “allies” (e.g. Lady Gaga, Drew Barrymore, Billy Joe Armstrong)
    • mislabelling bi celebrities as gay - ever wondered why Freddie Mercury is known to be “the most famous gay celebrity”? Well, he identified as bisexual.
  • also saying that biphobia is just “misdirected homophobia” denies the fact that there are a lot of bi-specific issues.
    • bi people are less likely to be out to their intimate partner, their families/friends, their doctors
    • they are more likely to suffer from mental health issues and experience intimate partner violence

What all of this is showing us is that bi people have specific needs and face unique problems that won’t vanish just by fighting homophobia. There is no trickle down effect for bi people because as said above: we are not half gay so resources for gay people don’t apply to us. We need our own resources and representation because biphobia is not the same as homophobia.

Maddie

Can we please just remember that literally the first thing Raphael did after he became a vampire was kill the vampire who had Turned him. He went looking for that vampire in order to protect his family and the fact that the vampire killed him still didn’t stop him.

He put himself through unimaginable agony in order to be able to say the word God, to hold a cross, to walk across consecrated ground, just so he could go home to his mother and not have her reject him.

He believed he was damned and never gave up on his faith.

He made extremely difficult decisions in order to stand by what he believed was right in both the books and the show.

Raphael is calculating and cold, but he’s also loyal and caring. He’s both. Let him be both.

Raphael Santiago is so strong.

WAIT

There was a post circulating a couple of days ago about Jared feeling guilty about the last words he says to Connor.

In the show, sincerely me reprise happens over skype. He says he’s going to hang out with his “real friends” but there’s an extreme lack of his friends being mentioned.

What if after Evan nixed the insanely cool Jared kleinman email, he finished it anyway and saved it. Not for them to use but so that he felt a little less guilty because this is him wanting to be friends with Connor. Wishing he were.

Not saying that the kid never did anything wrong, people do a lot of things to cope when their parents don’t believe them about their mental illnesses. They hide behind drugs or music…

Or mean words.

Just imagine Jared singing

“All that it takes is a little re-in-vention.

It’s easy to change cause I gave it my a-tten-tion.

What I wish I did, was make him believe he could be who he wanted to be.

Sincerely,

miss you dearly.

Sincerely Me.”

And closes the laptop and walks offstage.

  • Jaal: I'd like to meet your sister sometime.
  • Vetra: You're gonna regret it. She's a pain.
  • Jaal: Why do you say things like that? I don't think you believe them.
  • Vetra: I... I do say things like that don't I? I don't know why. It's almost like a reflex.
  • Jaal: Hmm. It's like you're embarrassed that you care. You feel vulnerable. Exposed.
  • Vetra: Hm. There might be some truth to that.
  • Jaal: Caring does not make you weak. I admire that you care for Sid.
  • Vetra: You're right. Thanks Jaal.